trying to not use a ton of yellow in this picture

anonymous asked:

I've seen you say a couple times that you don't see or that you're disabled. Do you mind talking about it? I ask because I am an aspiring writer and it is really hard for me. I wanted to know how you managed or what it was like?

I don’t mind talking about it. It’s something that made me who I am.

When I was about 12, my health sort of started to eat itself. I suddenly had a ton of allergies, and there were days I couldn’t get out of bed. I got sick all the time. In freshman year of high school, I suddenly couldn’t see. For a long time a thing had been going on in my eyes, but I guess I didn’t think it was abnormal until it made it impossible for me to see. Basically this hole was kind of growing in my eyes, but it was more like a rainbow.

When I started having trouble with colors and detail vision, my mom freaked out a bit, because at the time, I was an award winning artist who had ideas of going to college for art. Then I started tripping over things, hitting my head, having trouble with depth perception. Then I got sick, and I mean sick.

I spent about 23 hours a day in bed. I had almost constant migraines. I had pain in my entire body. My skin turned yellow. I went to every kind of doctor you can think of and was tested for everything there is. One day, I had about 12 vials of blood drawn. No one knew what was wrong. The eyes weren’t that big a deal at first, because it seemed like I might have something really serious. The first couple of eye doctors I went to kind of looked at me and said “Oh it’s nothing big.” I actually had one guy tell me that my brain was just shutting off my eyes because I wasn’t using them properly. Yeah.

Then finally, my mom took me to a friend of our family who happened to be an eye surgeon. She did a free exam. I’ll never forget it because it was the first time anyone believed me. I’d been told by doctor after doctor that there was nothing wrong with me. I’d been referred to therapists, told I needed depression meds, told I was just going through a phase or needed attention. Then this doctor put on her head gear, looked into my eyes…took off the head gear…got new head gear…looked into my eyes…took off the headgear…got hand held tools…looked into my eyes…and then stared at me with her mouth hanging open.

“I can’t see the back of your eye,” she said. And suddenly the world simultaneously healed itself and flipped upside-fucking-down for me.

Then it was all about my eyes, the one symptom we could see happening. The one that was the most dangerous. But by then it was too late.

What happened is pretty simple: I apparently have some weird recessive DNA. It triggers certain bizarre immune issues at puberty. My immune system decided to attack my body. The eyes are a delicately balanced system. They show symptoms first. My immune system attacked them with a vengeance. They swelled up like balloons. Normal eye pressure is about 14-17. Mine was at a 22 at its best. It put a tremendous amount of pressure on my Retina, specifically my macula, cutting off blood flow like when you sit on your foot. You know those little shadowy things that float across your eyes? They’re called protein floaters. My eyes had produced so many of those that the doctor could not see through them. It was a fog.

They had to find a way to map my eye, to track the damage. Cue the eye exam from hell. I have always been, even before my autoimmune disorder, deathly allergic to melon. Any kind of melon. But now I was allergic to all sorts of shit, fruits vegetables, all kinds of crap. My dad is allergic to contrast dyes. So when the retinologist suggested this dye-based eye exam that is kind of like a CAT scan, my mom said “no”. See, they inject you with this dye and then they flash this weird light in your eyes. It causes the dye to glow, and then they can see the things through the fog. My mom told them I was too sensitive to stuff for that to be safe. The doc assured her they’d put a butterfly in my arm, meaning the vein would be kept open, and a syringe of benedryl was set on the counter. They’d never had anyone react, and they needed the pictures or there was nowhere to go from there.

So they put this dye into me, and it was like I’d been injected with fire, but there was no way around it, and to me, I knew they only had about 90 seconds to get the images they needed. So I sucked it up. finally the burning began to spread. Suddenly my back felt like I was being stabbed, and I suddenly couldn’t speak. I tapped my hands on my mom, then began sneezing spontaneously. My mom lifted my shirt, and I had quarter-sized hives. The nurse said “Stop sneezing on the camera”. Yeah.

My mom went ballistic. The doctor flew up the stairs and gave me the emergency meds. I slid into a dissociation state and nearly out of my chair. They had to prop me against the camera for the next couple minutes and reinject the dye. No other way, you see.

They did this test every few months for a few years.

But then there was treatment. Not much they could do, except try to get the swelling under control. Only way to do that was corticosteroid injections in the eye. Yup. A needle in the eye. No, they don’t knock you out. They numb the surface of the eye with the same numbing drops they give you for the exams and then they come at you with a needle, tell you to look down and to hold still. And you fucking do.

I was 15 when that started.

I went to experimental clinics, labs, and joined studies. I dropped out of those. Why? It’s pretty simple. The first day I came to the exams, I was kept waiting for over two hours. I was taken into a room. I was left there. No information, no talking. Suddenly a man came in followed by a group of people, all in lab coats. He started moving me around like I was a doll and talking like, “The patient presents with…the patient this, the patient that…”

I shoved him back and said, “The patient’s name is Kristina, and she is 16.”

He finished his exam, and when he left, after the students had gone, he took two Q-tips, dipped them in that pink shit your dentist uses to swab your gums before an injection, and SHOVED them under my eyelids with a cocky smirk.

The patient will never be an snotty little bitch again, I guess.

So yeah. Fuck those guys. They gave me two injections in one day, which no one had ever done before, because it was almost impossible to function with two pimple-like bubbles on your eyeballs.

Still my health was bad. Then all of a sudden, when my mom had given up, It just wasn’t anymore. Suddenly, I was fine, and all that was left were the eyes. I went back to school, except now I was blind.

In a few months, I’d lost about 80% of my perfect vision. I was photophobic. I got horrible and constant headaches. I walked with a cane. And not a single fucking teacher believed me, except my civics teacher, who had gone blind at a young age due to some other weird eye disorder, and my physics teacher who was deaf. I had teachers send me to the office for wearing my sunglasses (with a note on file). I had teachers get on my case about having an audio recorder and CD player for my books. I had teachers call me names, make fun of me, make me leave class to photocopy their notes larger, so that I missed the lecture the notes were on. I had teachers take my medications which had to be in my possession because of their time-sensitive nature and constant administration and hide them in their desks as punishment for asking questions or demanding help. I had classmates pick on me, but luckily, I was well-liked, and I was an officer in the ROTC. I even excelled there in spite of my vision, because my Captain believed in my leadership skills.

I always tell this story because I think it is funny. We had this special boot camp we got to go to if we were in the upper ranks of the ROTC. If you joined the military after high school (which I could never do) you got a higher paygrade for having gone through it. Almost like taking a couple JC classes in the military. It was grueling and all physical fitness, obstacle courses, PT, classes, guard duty…fucking blah. Our unit was allowed six participants. I sort of figured that it wasn’t really fair for me to go, even with my high rank (a company XO). To my complete fucking shock, my Captain recommended me to go, cutting out a classmate (and ex) of mine who was higher in rank. The boy went ape-shit. He went on and on about how unfair it was. He even went to the school board. My Captain made his reasons clear; he told them that the academy isn’t about military sponsorship. It’s about skills and quality. He didn’t care if I had a disability. In his eyes I had more innate ability than anyone there because I had worked so hard just to be where I was. The boy was angry. I told my Captain I appreciated the gesture, but honestly, we ought to make it fair. I told him that we should train to meet the PT standards, and that if this kid could make his, but i couldn’t make mine, he should go. I made mine. He didn’t. He complained about that too. At the last minute, we were told one extra person could come because another school had lost one. So he came anyway. The whole time he bitched about me being there. When I got there, the real military officers gave me shit like you wouldn’t believe, because they weren’t used to dealing with disabilities or recognizing that they can’t discriminate against high schoolers by law. The commander of the unit tried to dress me down in front of everybody for wearing sunglasses. I was pretty pleased with myself for telling him off but still sounding respectful. He kept saying “Take off my glasses”. I told him they weren’t his. They were mine, by law, and that if he had a problem with that, he could consult my attorney, the DOJ, and the doctor who prescribed them. He tried to fuck with me. I didn’t say anything except to ask him if he wanted me to have a migraine, because that’s what taking the glasses off means. He was so confused by me he walked away and called my Captain over. There were words. After that, he came up to me once or twice, almost like a test, to ask me if I needed him to slow down or if I was getting around alright. He wasn’t being nice. He was egging me in a condescending tone and with very bullying language. He’s a drill instructor, and you know what, that’s his job. I told him I was fine. But I made a decision: I wasn’t just going to make the female PT marks. I was going to test out of this fucking place at the male PT marks. And I fucking did. That boy…had an asthma attack on the track (I had asthma too, but I worked my ass off while he coasted on his “boyness”) and failed. At the certificate ceremony, the commander came up to me and said I had really impressed him, and that it was a shame I couldn’t enter the Navy. I thanked him, but what I wanted to say was, “Go fuck yourself and take the NAVY with you”. I ended up the Battalion XO Senior year. This would have given me a guaranteed spot in Westpoint if I could have taken it. My Captain cried when he told me he was sorry he had to give it to one of our Company XO’s. I told him that it was best for everyone, because I am not the type of person to enjoy taking orders. I had learned that about myself.

He laughed.

Around Junior year I got people to pay attention. My doctors got the DOJ and the Social Security people involved. A woman came to my school and enforced compliance in a tone of voice I’d never heard anyone but my mother use. She threatened to rain brimstone down on them if they didn’t give me what I needed, and things changed.

My parents wanted me to take a full scholarship to a local school, but I wanted to get away. So I did. I wanted to travel abroad, so i did. And when I was 19, they perfected one of the surgeries they had been working on the entire time I’d been struggling with this.

See, the injections had brought and kept the swelling down, but that meant that the fog was still there (since ocular fluid doesn’t replace), and the structures in the eye had been stretched all to shit, and were laying in my eye like melted plastic wrap. The old surgery was like a blind man hacking with a machete, but the new surgery used fluorescent dyes to track movement. Dyes that wouldn’t kill me. The old surgery had a 50-50 shot at complete loss of vision and made you lay on your face for three weeks. The new was fool proof and took 45 minutes. So, I got one eye done. They swapped out all the fluid and replaced it with saline. They peeled the distorted membrane off the macula. They stitched up my eyeball and gave me a sick metal eye patch. Looked like a fucking space pirate. It was rad.

But the blind spot is still there. The cataracts caused by the steroids are still there. The scars are there.

A few years later I had the other one done too.

My college was great. It took a lot of work getting all my reading done, about 500 pages minimum, per week, done via audio. I used to spend hours at the pool table in our residence hall, listening to my books and practicing. I got pret damn good too, at pool. It was difficult taking notes or working with a note taker. It was scary traveling by myself. It was hard to get people to understand there wasn’t anything WRONG with me. Just that my eyes don’t work even though it seems like I’m normal and fine, and like they should. People always think to be legally blind you have to be completely blind, and they think you’re not going to be able to defend yourself. I’ve been targeted by pickpockets. I’ve been followed by scary dudes. I’ve been treated like shit, laughed at, and accused by full grown adults of faking to get privileges, all because I can look at the place where their head should be and smile at the blank spot there. All because I can walk down a flight of stairs with a few neat tricks I know that have nothing to do with a cane.

But shit…you probably didn’t mean to ask for my life story. I’m going to get back to the point. My writing. What has it done for that? Like how can you be a writer if you can’t fucking see? Technology. It’s been amazing. I can use a computer same as anyone. The Kindle has been a fucking revolution for me because for the first time in a decade and a half I could read without pain and suffering. Just…all the things it does have made life so much easier than it used to be. It got me out of bad relationships with people who used my disability as a control. It gave me a little bit of confidence back. It helped me know I could handle myself.

And really, I think my vision loss had a lot to do with my writing. In some ways it gives me different perspective, sure, but it’s more than that. I was undeclared when I entered college. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I thought about history or sociology. My mom had a degree in that and she was an English teacher. I wanted art history, but what the fuck was the point in that? Couldn’t see a damn thing. And then I had a class in poetry, and shit…That made sense. I’d always loved language and writing. Always been okay at it. Dorte stuff but never thought about doing it for a living. But then it was like yeah…yeah I’m gonna fucking do that. Just like when I decided to meet the male PT standards.

If it is in you. If you love it. If it defines you and possesses you, it does not matter how fucked up you are. You will find a way. You don’t have a choice. You are that thing. And you’ll adapt. You just have to let yourself. You have to keep pushing. You have to learn how to handle frustration. you have to train yourself into stamina. You just keep going. I’m nowhere near as successful as I want to be. I’m still going. I hope I get even better. I hope I can say things that make truth more obvious, or that help people put words to things they have always wanted to say.

I don’t need my eyes to be a fucking firestorm. That’s just me. Eyes don’t mean shit.

So keep going. Keep doing whatever you need to. Do it better and better. Bend yourself around it. People who see you struggle will think they’re lucky, but you and I know the truth: they’re not even close to the kind of strong you are. Not even a little bit.

10 Years Later Paladin HCs

my gf @lady11tea has been a little down in the dumps recently so i made her these hcs of how i picture the paladins of voltron being years later, post war which are pretty must based off of random hcs we made previously that you can look at here for stuff to make sense, i guess. feel free to add on

  • at age 27, keith’s hair has grown out a little longer kinda like in this post here by @chocozebra. he rocks a side ponytail, pidge and lance forever call it the anime mom hairstyle of death but keith ain’t planning on dying until he’s past his 90s. has chilled out since he was a teen, but he still has a short temper and a blunt way of talking that might piss people off when he starts talking to them. is an early bird
  • at age 27, good ol’ lance hasn’t changed much aside from the toned muscles, the stubble on his chin, and the fact he let his bangs grow longer. sleeps in most days and his face? baby smooth because skin care, he ain’t stoppin the skin care routine now that he’s almost 30
    • got considerably closer when shiro disappeared and all and post!space war, they were just ‘bros who kept in touch’ almost every day after getting adjusted to being home. some time in, lance invited keith over to meet his family ‘as just bros’ and the rest is history
    • these two dorks have been married for a while now and have a 5 month old daughter. They named her ursa and she’s that perfect mix of genes so they are pleased parents. wavy black hair, light brown skin, violet eyes. nickname: ursa bear (which is hilarious to them because it’s just saying ‘bear’ twice). between the 2 of them, lance is the better cook and keith is that parent who only wants their kid eating organic baby food
    • ursa was born deaf. they figured out when she was 3 months old and since then, lance and keith have slowly been getting the hang of asl and have been signing as much as they can in front of her in order for her to have it in her environment as she grows up. the tv permanently has it’s closed captions on. they read to her in asl
    • they live in one of those duo work/home situations. first floor is the shop, second floor is home sweet home. they own a flower shop, super big surprise. they have a delivery truck (no keith, we cannot use a motorcycle to deliver flowers). they usually take turns with managing the store front and being the one to deliver plants. if it’s nap time, ursa’s upstairs napping but if she’s awake, she’s usually in the baby sling while her dads work.
    • have a ton of photo albums and photos around the house portion of their home. lance’s childhood photos, the few childhood photos keith was able to save, some paladin!voltron photos (their last photo of being paladins is a tearjerker for lance), wedding photos, honeymoon pictures, pictures of ursa
    • retired from being paladins, lance and keith now own 2 cats they affectionately named red and blue
    • because lance and keith are on some corny next level shit, they both have this tattoo of the voltron symbol in between their shoulder blades but lance’s is red and keith wanted his to be blue
  • at age 27, hunk –in the words of lance mcclain– has gotten hotter. (”my dude, you’ve always been hot but jeeeeesus you got hotter. how?!” “LANCE” “keith, darling, sweetie, you’re still hot too”)  he’s got this full face stubble beard going on, long hair he keeps up in a ponytail, he still has that awesome headband, eyebrow game still on fleek, same big and friendly smile, sweet chocolate brown eyes
    • post!war, hunk got a huge home welcome from family and friends in the neighborhood. he missed his folks big time and had enough space adventures for a few years because he just spent so much time in space, he doesn’t want to ever hear the word ‘space’ again. but 2 years post!space war, hunk ended up going back into space anyway because he wanted to show shay the universe (the big sap) (he is still a sarcastic sass master tho)
    • since his return he and shay are happily married now. interspecies relationships are slowly happening since the whole ‘aliens reveal’ to everyone on earth. it doesn’t matter if his wife is technically a really tall rock. did hunk ask for all that information? NOPE, SO SHUT YOUR FACE. he lives pretty nearby lance and keith’s place
    • in the process of intergalactic adoption, hunk and shay already have one adopted 13 year old they adore and love with a gentle but firm upbringing. her name’s tess and she constantly brags about being blessed with the sweetest parents ever. she’s got dark hair, dark skin, glasses, finally convinced hunk and shay to let her shave at least a portion of the side of her head because FASHION, and likes to make jewellery and wants to make it an actual occupation in life
      • her uncle lance is her godfather and he spoils her a lot with jewellery making kits
    • is a part time model (fight me on this. model!hunk is my life)
    • but the modeling has to be part time because hunk is now the owner of really successful restaurant that serves combinations of earth and alien style cuisine cuz you already know that hunk was all over inventing new recipes as the years passed by. yes, sal from vrepit sal’s work there. hunk is basically gordon ramsey in his kitchen
    • like lance and keith he has a voltron tattoo in between his shoulder blades, but his is actually yellow because he can colour coordinate with his old lion
  • at age 24, pidge is still short but she’s happily single and aro-ace af. #noparentalstress. her hair is back to it’s original length from before she cut it to sneak into the garrison to keep it out the way while she works, but she’s been contemplating cutting it short again. 
    • definitely had a good, emotional but happy reunion with her dad, mom, and matt. she finally has her family back and she isn’t ever losing them again. and it’s safe to say that matt and sam are taking a long deserved break from space at the moment
    • remember the olkarians? pidge eventually went back to them as a sort of intergalactic exchange student because holy hell have you see that tech? as if pidge was going to miss the opportunity to learn more about it!!!
    • now the olkarians have an institute on earth and pidge works there as a researcher along side her dad and brother, so she can’t visit her old buddies as much (but hey, she can visit more than shiro). so to fill in the time gaps, she gets a lot of calls from them to make sure she isn’t overworking her self, they enjoy face timing, and will stream crap on rabbit if she isn’t too busy (and sequentially complain about rabbit BECAUSE WE WERE TRYING TO WATCH THE BEE MOVIE AND RABBIT JUST WANTS TO START PLAYING GAMES WITH PEOPLE)
    • but despite being busy, pidge tries to make it back for important and special events like hunk and shay’s wedding, lance and keith’s wedding, she was forced to dance at both weddings. there was no escaping it
    • she may be 24 now, but everyone still calls her the baby gremlin of the group and she wants to fight them
    • has a green version of the voltron tattoo the squad seems to be rocking nowadays
  • TYL!Shiro is still technically the oldest at 35 and is now a diplomat working aside coran and allura in the castle.
    • post!war, shiro spent a long, long time on earth recovering from past experiences and trying to get his ptsd to settle. ofc it never completely went away (and everyone else has their own little problems they are dealing with), but he’s a lot better from how he was 10 years ago
    • funny enough, when the offer to become diplomats came up, shiro decided to take the job (the others suspect it had to do with the time he went awol at the end of that dramatic battle with zarkon and now he wants to make up for lost time by helping build bridges between the planets)
    • it is also a suspected theory that he and allura are getting closer because he’s been actually calling her ‘allura’ instead of ‘princess’ and she has been calling him ‘takashi’. pidge would also like to add the fact that the amount of times she has caught matt face timing with allura and shiro is suspicious af and apparently matt brought up going into space sooooooo everyone has their eyes on that
    • everyone would like to say that shiro’s sense of fashion got better over the years, but tbh the only reason he looks good a majority of the time is because of the altean diplomacy clothes he has to wear. the guy still wears sweater vests. ew
    • shiro and hunk argued over who would be ursa’s godfather for the longest time and settled it with an arm wrestling match. hunk won and shiro is salty af and exclaims that hunk only one because shiro willingly gave hunk a handicap by not using his robot arm
    • has a black voltron tattoo in between his shoulder blades
    • his bangs are starting to regain colour again
    • is the butt of every leap year joke and he wants to fight everyone
  • allura the queen. she’s cut her hair shorter since then (shoulder length or short with shaved side of the head, the choice is yours my friend) and is still as beautiful as always because black don’t crack (me: *happily toots own horn*)
    • out of everyone, allura and coran have been the busiest of them all since the war ended because after a short break, allura and coran immediately jumped onto diplomacy missions (the first few bouts the paladins had to join in but things have chilled out since then)
    • earth took the hardest bit of works because damn humans are judgmental against anyone that doesn’t look even remotely close to them, but so far so good.
    • the galra still get the cold shoulder from time to time, but allura and coran have successfuly gotten them into the intergalactic alliance and are slowly helping the galra rebuild their own relationships with the universe little by little now that their dictatorship under zarkon and lotor is over with, plus haggar isn’t around with her druid magic anymore. she’s been jailed and magic free for a while now
    • allura is keeping all the lions on lock down in the castle now that balance has been restored to the universe
    • allura is currently engaging in a private relationship of her own with earthlings shiro and matt, but for now that is underwraps until they figure out a way to break things down to everyone as a big surprise (but little do they know that pidge has already been spilling tea on the side)
    • she can’t bring the castle down to visit everyone as much as she would like, but she does come for visits occasionally
  • coran, uncle friend extraordinaire, and much loved guy. still around and still lovable. may and or may not have changed his style but he still has his glorious mustache. he is still working by allura’s side however…
    • since the space war has ended he has published two books. one book is his autobiography, a bestseller really. and the other…. a cook book on making old altean dishes in order to keep the tradition alive. that book has untold horrors we will not mention *shudders*
    • since the first time, coran has had 4 more rounds with slipperies. has occasional denial on the subject. leave him alone.
    • he face times the paladins as much as possible, especially lance. lance calls coran the most. he and lance had a lot of bonding moments when lance got depressed and insecure in space and coran even found a planet that had rain like earths!!!! (years later, lance was able to do the same with the hot boiling rocks. he thought he and coran were going to die, but coran had fun)
    • with ursa being around, coran is learning more and more of this ‘hand language’ that the earthlings came up with and finds it fascinating. he is just now discovering that not all of the hand languages are the same and is making a point to learn all of them! *eye of the tiger plays in the bg*
    • coran is on the dating scene btw, but the only reason it has been going slow is because allura down right doesn’t approve of anyone dating her second dad. she has this very long list of requirements in order for you to date coran and lance is backing her up on this one because coran deserves the best
  • during the rare times allura, coran, and shiro are able to bring the castle down to earth, everyone literally puts everything on pause and comes to the castle (mostly because ‘guys, i see these giant flying lions coming over, should i be scared?) #dramaticpaladinandlionreunion
    • they’ll pack up, gather their spouses and kids (in the case of  three of them) and head on over to where the castle is located for a good mini vacation of talking about the good times, getting a little emotional about the bad times, how much things have changed, and enjoying each other’s company (”guys, remember how when we got back to earth the first thing we did was go back to the garrison because lance, hunk, pidge, and keith all wanted to punch iverson? classic”)
    • for old times sake, coran will make something and everyone will cringe as hunk pops into the kitchen to give coran a proper cooking lesson
    • they’ll dress up in their old armor and fight against the gladiator sim and see if they still got the moves like jagger. they often joke that shiro is an old man and needs to be careful before he throws his back out
    • will do the old training exercises from the mind meld to the invisible wall to the trust your lion’s eyes thing
      • man did they miss flying with their lions??
    • if they aren’t doing any of that and have the free time to break away, you already know they’ll be sitting in their lions catching up about everything that’s been going on in their lives and how so much has changed since then because the stuff going on in their lives now is the least likely thing they pictured back before all this voltron stuff happened but they wouldn’t change any of it
    • someone is usually crying when it’s all time to go their own separate ways and back to their daily lives. usually allura drops everyone off one by one
    • “we definitely have to do this again the next time you stop by”
    • everyone’s very happy with the way their lives has turned out since ten years ago
Sidgeno Mermaid AU anon fic

<< [Chapter 2/?] >>

It’s not until the morning when he’s looking over the pictures again when he notices the same figure in the water that he saw the night before.

The diner in town opens at five.

Geno gets there at 5:30 and rolls his eyes at how chipper the waiter sounds when he tells him to “take a seat wherever you like, I’ll be right with ya.”

His name tag says Jake and he doesn’t bat an eye at his sullen look when he pour his coffee and puts down the menu.

He’s young, fresh out of high school, maybe, and he doesn’t look like he knows who Geno is at all.

Geno’s already made up his mind to tip him very well.

“You’re the one that moved into that shack down by the beach, aren’t you?”

He coughs as the coffee goes down the wrong way. It burns his tongue.

“How you know?”

“This is a tiny, little island. Everyone knows everything. Is it haunted?”

“I’m Geno and it’s not haunted,” he grumbles. “Not a shack.”

“The walls are falling in on themselves and it looks haunted.”

Keep reading

cosmic witchcraft 101: candles and constellations

When I’m doing cosmic spellwork, I like to try and reflect the energy of the constellations I’m working with by arranging my candles into their shapes. This can definitely work with any candles you have on hand, but I love to match the color of the candle to the color of each specific star in the constellation!

I’ve done a few spells with Orion, so I’ll use it for an example. I chose to work with the brightest seven stars in the constellation. You can just look at the sky or pictures to figure out what colors you’ll need, but I like to match what I see with each star’s individual stellar classification.

The Harvard spectral classification system divides stars into seven groups using single letters of the alphabet based on their spectral characteristics. If you want to learn more about spectral classification, you can read more here on Wikipedia, but all you really need to know is the star’s letter and that letter’s corresponding color.

  • O (blue)
  • B (blue-white*)
  • A (white)
  • F (yellow-white*)
  • G (yellow)
  • K (orange)
  • M (red)

*For the blue-white/yellow-white stars, I usually just pick the color that looks closest to what I see in the sky.

Since most constellations have lots of stars, it’s really easy to spend an egregious amount of money on traditional candles. A more affordable option is birthday candles! I got almost 50 for less than $10. I was able to find purple ones, so I added a candle for the Orion nebula here.

You’ll need something to stand them up in; I used salt (which I would not recommend - it took a ton of salt and a long time for me to actually get them to stand them up) but something like sand or soil would probably work. Or you could just bake a magickal cake to go along with your spell!

If you have enough candles on hand, you can represent bigger and brighter stars with bigger candles. Here I used two large taper candles to represent Betelgeuse and Rigel.

Most importantly, remember there’s never a wrong way to connect with your stellar objects of choice. If the stars you want to work with are yellow but blue corresponds with your intent, choose whichever color suits your fancy! Maybe represent each star in the constellation with different colors to match your different intents. Ultimately, this is about your connection with the cosmos  ✨☄


The other day @noradove asked me if I had any advice for painting backgrounds or using watercolor in general.  To be honest, I’m still learning how to paint backgrounds, but I decided to compile a little list of things I’ve learned while using watercolor and gouache.  I hope some of these bullet points might be useful to others!

Like all “rules,” take these with a grain of salt.  These tips work for me – what works for you could be completely different! But check beneath the cut for some lessons I’ve learned!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey dad! Can you do more of your actor/tae and beautyguru!yoongi au, like just hcs of their life and domestics and all that kinda stuff thankss

Another anon asked i put warning on this Au so: 

Warning for a bit of feminization, Taehyung uses a lot of nicknames for Yoongi. 


Look the only headcanon that matters in this Au is when Yoongi starts getting some trolls on his YouTube videos and makeup tutorials telling him his highlight is too much he begins pouting like the precious baby he is. Taehyung at first thinks it’s so fucking adorable to see Yoongi with his lips, shining from his gloss or lip tint, pushed together as his eyebrows furrow while he holds his tablet in his hands. 

Taehyung giggles and sits next to Yoongi while pulling him into a tight hug. 

“They say my highlight is too much.”

Taehyung has no idea what that means or anything but he knows it means something to Yoongi so he sighs and kisses Yoongi.

“I don’t think it’s too much. You look cute, my precious little glazed donut.” 

Yoongi laughs and kisses Taehyung again because his boyfriend is a dork but also really the best boyfriend ever bless. 

Their mornings are literally so soft and cute. Yoongi has to be up everyday by eight in the morning to get ready for his college classes, though they don’t start until ten (it takes him that long to get ready wow) and Taehyung has gotten so used to waking up to rap music playing from the speakers in their room as Yoongi hums along to the beat from his vanity. 

Taehyung smiles softly as he turns to lay on his stomach and hugs a pillow closer to his body. He can’t help just watching Yoongi work on his hair and makeup, really he thinks Yoongi is always so fucking gorgeous and even with the sleep in his eyes he can’t help but swoon at the way Yoongi carefully draws on his eyeliner. 

Yoongi hears the sounds of the sheets moving and looks up through the mirror to lock eyes with Taehyung. The elder returns Taehyung’s smile and lets his eyes roam over the back tattoos Taehyung has on display. (bless the way the sheet are only at Taehyung’s hips)

“Stop staring or you might start drooling.” 

Taehyung’s voice is deep and rough with sleep and Yoongi shivers a bit at the sound.

“I can’t help it when you look so good.”

Can you imagine if Taehyung got casted in Goblin as Gong Yoo’s role? Yoongi at first is so happy for his boyfriend and makes like tons of snapchats and post about how proud he is of Taehyung getting such a cool role.

When the actual recording begins though Taehyung suddenly gets under a lot of stress and it’s often that Yoongi finds Taehyung with his eyebrows furrowed as he sits on the couch reading his script. It’s clear Taehyung is just so overworked and bothered, Yoongi hates seeing Taehyung so stressed out and sits besides the younger while running his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. His long nails scrape gently against Taehyung’s scalp trying to sooth him and Taehyung happily hums as he pushes his head more into Yoongi’s hands (like a cute lil pup) 

“I just wanna do a good job.” 

Taehyung sighs and Yoongi brings his hand down to rub a thumb against Taehyung’s cheek. 

“You’ll do a great job, baby. You’re the best actor i’ve ever seen.”

Taehyung grins when Yoongi kisses him and leaves a dark red print of his lip tint he wears. 

When it comes times for dates Taehyung goes all out for his baby. Honestly people think it would be like only one or two dates but nope Taehyung literally spoils Yoongi EVERY date. 

It starts with surprising Yoongi with his favorite flowers, bright yellow dahlias like the ones tattooed on Taehyung’s neck, where ever Yoongi may be. Taehyung has a dozen of them delivered during Yoongi’s lunch and will later grin when he sees Yoongi posted a picture of himself holding the flowers on Instagram. The caption reads “@//Actor_TH spoils me~~” and Taehyung comments “Only for the best baby.” 

(fans cry because they are so cuteeee)

Later Taehyung picks up Yoongi from his classes/work and you all know Yoongi post that picture of Taehyung’s hand gripping his thigh while he drives. He loves to show off just how hot Taehyung is and makes sure everyone can notice the rose tattooed on Taehyung’s hand as he holds onto Yoongi a bit higher on his thigh.

The actual dates range from Taehyung renting out Yoongi’s favorite restaurants to taking him on expensive boats so they can make love as they listen to the water.  Every date is difference but what never changes is the way Yoongi post a picture of sleeping Taehyung cuddling him while his hickies and bite marks are showing. 

(He just can’t help it tbh Taehyung is sexy af.)

Their fans seem to coo when Yoongi post a video on Youtube titled “Our new baby.” The video is a vlog and starts off with Yoongi grinning as Taehyung drives to some shop in town. Literally it’s the happiest Yoongi has ever been and he is just almost shaking with excitement as he talks. The last time he was so excited on a vlog was when he was unboxing a new eye shadow pallet. It’s just so adorable to see that gummy smile shining. 


The vlog shows them head into a pet store, holding hands and matching their jackets together because #goals. Yoongi is near buzzing as he shows off all the animals and the moment he sees the tiny brown poodle he stops and pulls Taehyung closer. 

“That’s the one babe!” 

That same day Yoongi has over ten new pictures up of them cuddling their new fur baby Min Holly.  Taehyung is now complete trash for both his boyfriend and puppy. 

On some mornings, mostly the weekends, Yoongi sleeps in until Taehyung wakes him with the smell of food. It’s some of the rare moments when Taehyung isn’t rushing to a set and Yoongi is bare faced and just in one of Taehyung’s too big tee shirts.  Yoongi comes down stairs with Holly also sleepily trotting behind him and he smiles when he notices a shirtless Taehyung at the stove flipping pancakes. The sweatpants Taehyung is wearing hang low enough to show off the crescent moon he has tattooed on his hip and Yoongi  brings his fingers to brush against the half sun he has tattooed on his own hip with a smile on his face. 

He walks into the kitchen and hops onto the counter. 

“Good morning baby.” 

Taehyung turns to press a kiss to Yoongi’s lips and Yoongi pulls him closer to trap him between his legs with a playful smirk. 

Good morning, handsome. Today we’re shooting a makeup video together and i need you to let me paint your face.” 

Taehyung acts like he hates it but of course he’s weak for his boyfriend.He groans but then nods and nips at Yoongi’s neck with a smile.

“Fine but afterwards we’re shooting another video. A private one.” 

Yoongi can’t wait :)

anonymous asked:

I can't wait for Dean to enter the amnesia phase! Dean and Cas formed a strangely intense relationship from the beginning and I wonder how Sam's gonna describe Cas.

Aaaah it’s now almost certain that that line from the last Shaving People Punting Things promo was from 12x11 - the “my name is Dean Winchester, blah blah Sam and Mary, a-and Cas- Castiel is my *wibble* best friend” line that nearly killed us all even completely out of context. Since there was 2 episodes between us and it I was trying not to get too excited I was trying not to pin my hopes on it being exactly what it sounded, but without rewatching the promo I think 12x11 may be the only episode left in it that we’ve yet to see stuff from. It’s also always kinda been the logical episode to have Dean reminding himself of who his nearest and dearest are but there you go, this is my 3rd year of watching with fandom, I’ve learned not to trust promos as far as I can throw them :P

There’s this post from last night squeeing about the line here:

And now I’m just enjoying the detail that Sam will almost certainly be responsible both times for using the word “friend” to describe Benjamin & his vessel and Cas and Dean… Like, in 12x10 there was one of those weighty pauses where everyone immediately thinks “…oh. They were in love” and then someone goes and uses “friend” - we’re not exactly unfamiliar with that sort of pause when it comes to Dean n Cas stuff, either… 

I do think Sam’s maybe a bit more certain about misdiagnosing Dean and Cas as BFFs because he’s had way more time to think about it than trying to work out the correct word for - well, *I’m* not sure about the correct relationship description for an angel and its vessel and I’ve been thinking about it all week :P - so it will seem more natural to him to call Cas that. So I won’t be too bummed if Sam is really chill about the concept, because as much as we talk about shipper!Sam, and he’s used as the punchline of a LOT of jokes about Dean n Cas’s behaviour throughout the years to sell it that they’re old-married-couple arguing, that is kind of a trick for the viewers at home to be in on, not necessarily a comment that Sam ACTUALLY thinks that. I mean, he probably still thinks Dean is STRAIGHT can you IMAGINE. 

I don’t think this episode is gonna expose Bi!Dean but like with 10x12, going back with Dean into his past was used as the most overt exploration of Dean vs repression and how the whole performing!Dean thing worked, and gave us the cipher of the cake which got way more mileage than we expected, because season 10 actually was fairly good at breaking Dean down for us, though I think the way season 11 and 12 have been putting him back together is far more enjoyable watching… Anyway, this is a great second chance to take a crack at what 10x12 started, and to make Dean well and truly vulnerable. They were comparing the episode to Yellow Fever, of which I have written a whole bunch as part of my wide-ranging “Still not over the Siren Episode” series of metas:

The main point I guess being the one about how it intentionally turned Dean inside out in front of Sam to make him look extremely vulnerable. In front of season 4 Sam, whose entire arc was built around feeling strong - and specifically stronger than Dean - and falling down the rabbit hole based on those feelings - those 2 episodes are really bad for Sam’s perception of Dean in that immediate moment because they’re stepping stones to make Sam think Dean’s not just lost his edge but is completely incapable of stopping the apocalypse and Sam is the only one strong enough to do it. Aka, Sam is in the worst place in the world to benefit with positive lessons from watching Dean get turned inside out in front of him. In 10x12, again Sam is all caught up in saving Dean, even so far as wondering if abruptly having to deal with having an extremely mouthy little brother until he grows back up into an extremely mouthy adult at the normal speed these things happen, was actually preferable to Dean with the Mark. Again, he’s on a descent arc that again plays off him being, well, the responsible adult, because that episode wasn’t a metaphor for the wider picture or anything :P - the burden of saving Dean from the Mark is a distraction and a weight on him and the whole Taylor Swift moment at the end shows how he’s not learned anything about Dean from the experience, and in the wider picture, carries on down his path and trying to save Dean his way (when Dean seems to have given up shortly after), so Sam is basically left to make the decision about how to save Dean on his own (and his isolated thinking is highlighted by deliberately leaving Cas out of the decision making process even though they’d seemed to be on the same page for a while). 

Anyway! In season 12 guess what we have another Winchester off making the bad decisions! Sam and Dean are freeeeeee (and, uh, should probably be concerned about what their mom is doing but that’s a problem for another episode :P) - since the middle of season 11 Sam hasn’t had the sort of burden on him that he’s carried on and off for most of the show (seriously, like, the last quarter of season 7 is the only other time I can think of Sam didn’t have a Thing outside of just being along for the ride with the main plot) - Sam can be concerned about Dean, but since the start of season 12 he ALSO doesn’t have anything wrong with him, internally or externally, and so they’re kind of in a healing and growth stage (this has been also achieved by letting Cas have all the awful happen to him >.>) Anyway, all that means that now we get one of those episodes that emotionally eviscerates Dean, in front of Sam, and Sam doesn’t have any roadblock to understanding and learning about Dean except for all the emotional walls Dean’s put up to keep him out that will baffle Sam with their absence (the sneak peek scene shows Sam missing a ton of really huge neon flags that we can see from miles off because we know Dean from this outside perspective Sam has not got the luxury of) or reasons Sam will be too distracted or take developments completely the wrong way to actually genuinely understand what Dean is going through and what these things mean… 

He’s going from a standing start though, so I expect he’s going to catch maybe like 1/10th or less of all the things we might be able to explain about Dean, but even so :P 

… Anyway all’s that to say is that Sam is going to probably write down a list of everyone Dean absolutely has to remember: Himself - brother, Mary - mom, Castiel - best friend, and leave Dean with it. And then we get DEAN’S delivery on that line which we have very hopefully already heard for ourselves (or we have wasted a lot of ink on this :P) and Deana stumbles over the concept of “Castiel - best friend” with all that stammering and wobbling voice that we’ve heard. And there’s going to be the difference in how Sam describes Cas and how Dean thinks of him, or is confused about how he’s supposed to apparently think of him :’D

general art tips pt. 1: skin and facial features! ft. jimin

so recently i’ve been drawing this portrait of bts’ jimin and i just wanted to give out some art tips that i learned that i think might help. and just a disclaimer, by no means am i professional artist! im self taught and what im about to share are just the way i do things haha. but i hope it helps! so let’s start!

ok so first off, i obviously just pick a reference picture. youre going to need one if youre drawing a portrait of someone 

damn jimin lookin fine. still not over the perfect man performance ahhh. now you can use this picture but if you want to test out new waters and really work with bright, enhanced colors rather than exact reference, try referencing a filtered photo! it really helps in encouraging you to use more colors which overall, makes everything look more interesting. but you don’t have to do this.

next step is laying down the outline. now if youre new to all of this, i highly suggest printing out your reference, putting a grid on it, and then transferring it onto your paper. or if youre too lazy like me, you can just trace it. it’s not cheating trust me! it just saves time especially if youre doing realism. all the magic is in the coloring anyway haha. and when you get better at it, you can try freehanding.

for your outline, make sure to keep things light and soft. you don’t want dark, heavy marks, because they are just there to guide you. you’re going to end up erasing most of them later on when you get to coloring. try not to have solid connected lines either. remember these lines are just a guide so it can look accurate.

time to color! i usually color in little sections. doing this makes things a lot less overwhelming and easier to handle. as you can see, i usually like to start with the eyes. i think it’s just a nice starting point and also because i really wanted to draw jimin’s eye makeup hehe. 

the key to coloring, is starting off with a light base color. for jimins eye makeup, i started off with a basic red. (sorta shows up pinkish on camera):

(also note that you don’t need to have expensive, high quality colored pencils. i typically just use Crayola colored pencils LOL. i sometimes use Prang and i have some Artist Loft ones that were given to me as a gift. crayola ones are actually very nice because the colors show up more bright and intense. artist loft ones are generally lighter which is good for shading and blending) SO LAY DOWN THAT BASE BRUH. details come later. 

bam. jimins eye makeup is truly goals. i don’t have pictures of his eyes with just the base color (sorry, bad on my part) but basically, what i did to obtain this is that i worked with A LOT of colors.  

take a good, hard look at your reference, try to pick out all the basic colors first and lay them down. and then study it harder and pick out as many colors as you can see and slowly build up.

it helps if you can look at it on a computer because you can zoom in! as you can see, there are purples, pinks, yellows, different oranges and reds, browns, and even a little green. try to keep a soft touch because it makes blending these colors a lot easier. don’t think that you can’t add in colors like green and blue because they’re not “natural”. these colors are actually a lot more evident in skin tones and facial features than we think! even the whites of an eye are never completely white. try to add in purples and blues to make them more natural. 

make sure to layer colors. here, the top is just the basic red. but on the bottom, i have layered on a purple and a brown. it helps make the color look a lot deeper and it helps for shading. don’t shade with black! try shading with other colors (in this case, darker reds, browns, purples, oranges, pinks, etc.)

as for black, a lot of the time people will tell you to NEVER USE BLACK. however, i’m against this LOL. it’s totally ok to use black! just be careful with it. leave it for the end, after you have laid down all the colors. it’s hard to layer over black.

so for the skin, you’re going to do the same thing. lay down a light, base color. for jimin, i’ve chosen a peachy color. but depending on who you’re doing, you might have to use a brown, yellow, or maybe even pink. regardless, just start off light and work your way into the darker colors slowly. 

remember to color softly and lightly. as i said, work slowly. and you can also erase colored pencil if you work lightly! so if you make a mistake, you can clean that right up. it doesn’t give a completely white space, but the erasing is mostly if you lay on the color more intensely than you planned.

these are just some colors to make your drawing look more natural and realistic. but dont’t limit yourself to just these (the left side is if you press hard with the pencil, and the right side is if you shade lightly):

the bottom two are my favorite two colors to incorporate because it really helps the drawing pop! the blue is a light ultramarine blue and the purple is more of a lavender. the light green also helps in lighter areas too.

see? it really gives the drawing more life! i would recommend staying away from gray because using too much gray can end up making the person look a little sickly LOL and it ends up looking dull. try to find substitutes for grey like blue. 

i also love to use gold to help shade skin tones. weird, right? but gold is a nice transition between those intense colors and our base color. it gives a nice, natural shading.

as for areas that are “black and white” like nostrils, the inside of a mouth, or teeth, make sure to incorporate other colors into those too. its hardly ever just plain black and white. on the teeth, i mixed in pinks, that ultramarine blue, oranges, pinks, and lavender.

for dark areas, mix in dark purples and a navy blue along with black:

all in all, for realism and portraits, incorporate lots of colors to give your drawing more life! human skin tones have tons of colors. it’s never just one basic color like peach or brown. you’d be surprised what colors would help. 

so closely study your reference for the different use of colors. LOL sorry chimchim for doing this to your face:

but also note: don’t follow a reference to the grave. if you want to up the contrast between colors or the shading, go for it! do what feels right. but if you want to do it as it looks, that’s totally ok too. take risks in your art and be proud of it. 

another tip is TAKE BREAKS. it can be from a five minute break to a day. if you stare at your drawing too long, it might start to look bad to you and you’ll get frustrated. but it’s not bad, you’ve just been looking at it too long so it’ll look weird to you. take a break, and come back to it later.

so here’s what i have so far:

the face isn’t even done yet but i just really wanted to make this post to share what i’m doing. i hope it helps and i’ll be back with part two: hair (aka the most difficult part for me lololol) 

sorry for the long post but i hope you enjoyed! check out my blog for other fanart :)

how to get into sfx (”horror”) makeup

I recently made a post about how to get into makeup, but in it I only talked about traditional, “pretty” makeup. I didn’t address the creepier side of it at all. I’ve heard a LOT of people say that they think SFX makeup is really interesting and that they would love to start experimenting with it, but they have no idea what products to buy or how to use them. I’ll warn you now – FX products are not cheap, and some of them can be a little intimidating the first time you use them, but once you get used to working with them, it’s really fun! With this kind of makeup, you can really transform yourself; the only limit is your imagination. I’ve only been into SFX for the last year or so, so I’m still learning and building up experience, but I think I’ve more or less mastered the basics. I feel like this kind of makeup is really more of an art form than traditional makeup, and (as with any other kind of art) you can really see yourself progress as an artist over time.

like with traditional makeup, there’s a few basic products that I recommend starting your collection with:

  • liquid latex (This is probably the product you’ll use the most in your projects. It’s easy to use, easy to remove, and not too expensive. Latex is most commonly used to create “fake skin” for fake wounds.)
  • face paint (Unfortunately, I can’t link you to the palette I use, because it came as part of a makeup kit. There are three common formulas: water-activated paints, alcohol-activated paints, and cream paints/grease paints. I recommend starting out with cream paints, because they’re the safest, easiest to use, and most forgiving of the three.)
  • a bruise wheel (These are special paints with a creamy, easy-to-blend formula, used to create realistic-looking bruises. If you don’t want to buy one, you can get the same effect with a combination of very dark red lipstick and black eyeshadow. I do recommend the bruise wheel though, because the yellow and green colors are really good for making your skin look sick or infected.)
  • coagulated blood (There are two types of fake blood. This one is the thick, clotted, nauseating kind. It doesn’t smear or run as easily as the more liquid-y blood does, and it adds an extra layer of icky texture to wounds.)
  • squirt blood/fresh blood/standard fake blood (This stuff looks like fresh blood. Different brands market it under different names, but they’re all the same: runny, deep red, and a complete mess. It’s super fun to work with, but you WILL ruin whatever clothes you’re wearing.)

Those products cover the basics, and it’s a good idea to master them before you move on to less forgiving SFX products. If you need ideas/examples, try one of these tutorials: x x  They’re both pretty easy, so they’re good “first attempt” looks to help you get used to the products.

Here are some other commonly-used FX products that you might run into:

  • rigid collodion (This is one of the scariest FX products to use, so I definitely DO NOT recommend experimenting with it until you’ve mastered the basics. This product puckers your skin in a way that creates very realistic fake scars, but if you don’t remove it properly, or apply it in the same place several days in a row, or put it on your lips or eyes, you could seriously damage your skin. I HAVE used it before and I was fine, so you don’t need to be afraid of it, but if you’re going to use it, be careful and make sure you know what you’re doing.)   
  • scar wax (This is literally just modelling wax for your face. I’ve seen it used with rigid collodion or alone to create scars or wounds, and used on its own to make prosthetic noses and brows. I have some, but haven’t used it yet, but my understanding is that it’s very easy to use.)
  • spirit gum (This is an adhesive, used for gluing prosthetics to your face. I’m pretty sure you need a special removal liquid to get it off, but I haven’t used it yet so I am by no means an expert. On the rare occasion that I do have prosthetics, I just glue them on with a little liquid latex.)
  • tooth fx (It’s paint for your teeth. You have to make sure your teeth are completely dry before you can put it on, and you have to make sure the paint is dry before you can close your mouth, but it looks really cool. It comes in lots of colors, from black to blood red to nicotine yellow.) 

Honestly, if you’re serious about getting into SFX, I recommend getting a stage makeup kit. It’s the easiest way to get all the basic products at once, and it’s actually cheaper than buying them all individually (like I said, FX products aren’t cheap). I got the Mehron Special FX Kit (which has all of the products I mentioned in this post in it) for my birthday last year, and it’s been a really great introduction. While some of the products aren’t the best quality, they’re good for learning and starting out. As you run out of things, you can replace them with better quality products.

Here are some tips and tricks to remember when you’re working with these new products:

  • ALWAYS DO AN ALLERGY TEST BEFORE USING A PRODUCT ON YOUR FACE. Testing products is really easy: I just apply them to the back of my non-dominant hand and leave them on for a couple of hours to see if I have a reaction. The only time I’ve used rigid collodion was when I recreated the Outsider’s brand from Dishonored, which doubled as my allergy test for the product. (And it did break me out, so I don’t use collodion anymore.) I really cannot stress how important allergy tests are – this is definitely a “better safe than sorry” kind of thing. 
  • You can use spirit gum near (but not on) your hair, as long as you have the proper removal liquid to get it off. This makes spirit gum the ideal adhesive for attaching things like elf ears, horns, ect.
  • With the bruise wheel, a little product and a lot of blending goes a long way. 
  • If you plan to work with latex a lot, I recommend buying a ton of cheap cosmetic wedge sponges to apply it with, because you will ruin every sponge you use for latex after one use.
  • Like with pretty makeup, I recommend buying a set of professional makeup brushes for this. DO NOT USE YOUR REGULAR BRUSHES FOR FX MAKEUP. YOU WILL RUIN THEM. (The Mehron kit I have came with several brushes, and you could also use normal paintbrushes as long as they’re soft and made from material you aren’t allergic to.)
  • You can create realistic-looking fake skin by layering liquid latex with very thin strips of tissue paper. Warning: doing this takes forever, because you have to wait for each layer to dry completely before adding the next one.
  • Don’t worry if your makeup doesn’t end up looking exactly like it did in your head, or exactly like your reference picture. SFX looks are very forgiving, because they don’t have to be neat, or pretty, or symmetrical. In fact, for most horror makeup, messier is better.
  • Contouring the hollows of your cheeks and your temples with a black or dark grey eyeshadow is a great way to instantly look more sunken in and skeletal (especially if you already have a white or grey foundation on). 
  • You can make your own foundation shades for whatever monster you’re creating by mixing face paint (or matte eyeshadow pigments) with your normal foundation. Foundation + white face paint = vampire. Foundation + grey (and maybe a tiny bit of green) paint = rotting corpse/zombie. And mixing your own colors is really fun! 

And finally,

  • Don’t be afraid to try new things, and don’t expect all of your SFX looks to turn out the way you wanted them to, especially at first. No one starts out as an expert. Remember the first time you tried to use liquid eyeliner? Be patient with yourself, and take on new challenges as you master basic skills. 

I hope at least a few of you found this helpful. If you have any additional questions, feedback, or product recommendations, or if you’re an old SFX pro who has advice/constructive criticism for me, please message me! I love hearing from you guys! I’m also open to take requests for tutorials (horror makeup or traditional makeup), if there’s something specific you want to know how to do (or at least see my take on it). 

meangreenlimabean  asked:

Obviously there's been a ton of parallels between Ramiel and Cain but I just thought of something. Do we know that Ramiel was actually doing anything wrong, or was that just part of Mary's cover story? If we look at it from his POV they were actual rude AF breaking in and trying to kill him for no reason and stealing things that had been gifted to him! What if Mary had just told her boys that Ramiel had the Colt and they could have gone and talked to him politely?

It was Mary’s cover story, or at least that’s what I gathered. Somehow the MoL discovered the location of the Colt. And they wanted it.

They collect “toys” like this. Like the egg, like the brass knuckles…

Why did they want it RIGHT NOW? Well, that’s the question, really.


They have a terrifyingly cavalier attitude toward the people they’ve contracted to work for them. Meaning, hunters. The soldiers on the ground. The people they give orders to and expect to carry out their deeds. It’s rather sickening, you know?

Ramiel’s ONE condition to Crowley was that he (and his siblings) simply be left alone. No one bothers them, everything will stay hunky-dory.

That’s was Crowley’s motivation for interfering here. Because of the deal he’d made with Ramiel, Crowley has assumed PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for the fact that Ramiel had been “disturbed” by anyone.

Which is really interesting to me, because Crowley’s demons only interfered with our little gang AFTER they’d engaged with Ramiel. Technically they could’ve prevented Mary’s little raiding party from even going in in the first place if they’d been watching the house like they were supposed to.

And I think that comes down to the demon who’d been there with Crowley when the original deal was made.

Remember, when Ramiel offered the throne of Hell to Crowley, he took a minute to feel a bit stunned, and then the other demon– the one who made that little speech about being the demon who killed Sam Winchester?– SHE WAS EAGERLY PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE THRONE OF HELL, and was rather put out that Crowley overrode her and took it himself. She did not seem pleased by this: (note, this is from the rough draft of the transcript. I haven’t put stage directions in yet, but suffice it to say, Demon Lady Looked Pissed)

CROWLEY: I mean, one dares to dream, but what about the others? You’re not the only Prince.
RAMIEL: Azazel was a fanatic, a true believer in Lucifer’s plan. But the rest of us? Well, the truth is, we stopped caring a long time ago. Asmodeus has his hobbies. Dagon has her toys. We’re happy where we are. So the crown is yours if you want it. Otherwise… [Ramiel looks to Crowley’s associate]
DEMON: Oh, hell ye–
CROWLEY: I’ll take it. I mean, I graciously accept.
RAMIEL: Swell, but there is one thing.
CROWLEY: Nothing comes without a price.
RAMIEL: Well, this should be easy enough. Leave us alone. And make sure everyone else does the same. If anyone– anything– bothers a Prince of Hell, that’s gonna be on your head, Crowley. And you don’t wanna know what happens when you piss us off.
CROWLEY: I humbly accept your terms.

So, aside from being pissed at Crowley, she knows the full terms of the deal. She knows it’s Crowley’s head on the chopping block if the terms of the deal are violated– i.e. if ANYONE or ANYTHING bothers a Prince of Hell.

Well, methinks Demon Lady (sorry she’s not actually named, which only ADDS to the feeling that she would feel Wronged by Crowley’s deal) was actually COUNTING on someone breaking the deal… 

She’s been stuck on the most boring guard duty of all time, when she’d been half a word away from sitting on the Throne of Hell herself.

Why not let someone bother Ramiel? It would piss him off enough to go after Crowley, and then she’d be perfectly positioned to take the Throne.


She didn’t interfere when Mary and Wally were staking the place out that morning. She didn’t interfere when FIVE PEOPLE walked up to the house and began setting out a trap. She knew perfectly well who these people were, too.

My bet? SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TIPPED THE BMOL OFF TO THE LOCATION OF THE COLT. She’s the only other one who knew where it was, after all…

She WANTED all of this to happen. She USED the BMoL to set off this chain of events that would eventually lead to her taking over Hell. She wasn’t expecting to get stabbed in the back by Dean Winchester…

She relied on the MoL’s greed for shiny toys. Assumed Ramiel would handle the intruders, and then rush off to murder Crowley. Her and her associate showing up to finish off the Winchesters would put her on the spot to accept the Throne once Crowley was dead.

Mary was only given the limited information that Lady Demon wanted the MoL to have. The text messages she exchanges with “Hobbits” are quite revealing: (transcribed exactly as they appeared on screen):

“What the hell did you do? The demon had yellow eyes!” She receives a reply a minute later, “Wasn’t us. Bad intel. You Can’t stay there. He will find you.”

I think that “bad intel” could’ve only come from Lady Demon. To her, the Colt was simply bait in her own play for power.

From Mary’s pov, she only knew that a demon was in possession of the Colt. Telling Sam and Dean that would only lead to them “asking the wrong questions,” wondering HOW she could possibly know that…

They’d start digging, rather than storm the place with bad intel… They’d at least probably call Crowley in for intel… and then they’d know the entire truth about the Colt, about Ramiel, and Crowley would’ve known WHO betrayed him (Lady Demon, the only other person on the planet who knows Ramiel even had the Colt), and they never would’ve put themselves into that position in the first place.

From MARY’S POV, she assumed if she told them about the Colt, they’d ask questions that would lead them to guessing or proving that she was actually working from the BMoL, and she knows first-hand that THEY WOULD DISAPPROVE:

From the Mary POV scene at Raul’s Diner:

WALLY: You meet them fancy Men of Letters?
SAM: British Men of Letters?
DEAN: Yeah, they got gear, but, uh, you know they tried to kill my brother.
SAM: All right. Internet’s up. We’re in business.
MARY: Everything’s gonna be fine.

THIS CONSTITUTES FOUR OF THE SEVEN LINES OF DIALOGUE FROM MARY’S POV IN THE DINER. This was the information that was important to her POV. Fear of the source of her intel being discovered, Wally bringing up the MoL and Dean’s response.

Barbies on a Budget

I’ve been getting a lot of asks about how to look like a Barbie when you’ve got a limited budget (I certainly do)! I’ve had to adapt to keeping up appearances while spending little money. I’m going to make a list of Barbie-essentials: the best (and usually most expensive), some good alternatives (for those on a “medium” budget), and then some great hidden gems for those of us who are poor. I’ll also list items that are not worth splurging on, and items that require some cash to be worn right. I apologize ahead of time: the prices and availability I’m listing are based on living in the U.S. If anyone from outside of the U.S wants to add to this list or convert the cost on some of this stuff- that’d be great! Here we go:


Extensions: (these are in no way a Barbie essential, but having unicorn hair down to your ass can certainly aid in doll-like aesthetics):

$$$ Best: Salon-quality, permanent extensions. Fused, sewn, taped- you name it. Prices can range anywhere from about $500 to $5,000. I have no personal experience with these types of extensions. 

$$ Great: Clip ins! These are an investment, but if you take really good care of them, they can last you half a year- a year (depending on how ratty you’re willing to wear them…) HeadKandy is my favorite ($200 without shipping for 24-26 inches- the longest length). LuxyHair is also good, $160 without shipping for medium-thickness of 20 inches- the longest length). I hear great things about Bellami as well but have no personal experience. 

$ Okay Alternative: Sally’s! This is a good alternative if you’re on a budget and want a quick option or don’t want to pay for shipping. Your nearest Sally’s Beauty Supply should have a selection of extensions for around $90. In my experience, quality is surprisingly awesome. Problem is- if you’re a blonde, the color selection sucks and you’ll probably want to color them yourself. The longest length available is also only 14 inches. 

Color: (Obviously coloring your hair is not part of being a Barbie, but it’s something many of us do! Blonde hair, especially very light blonde, is the hardest to maintain- so that’s what I’m talking about here).

$$$ Best: High-end, trusted salon with great reviews. Well-trained and professional colorists who are experienced in hair coloring. They will get you to a blonde shade with the least amount of damage, as well as the most natural looking color. High-end salons also offer some really top-of-the-line hair treatments to keep your hair hydrated and healthy-looking despite the trauma you’re putting it through. I paid about $200-$300 every 6-8 weeks to maintain my hair at such a salon. 

$$ Great: Get on Google and read reviews for salons near you. Locate a salon and stylist with good reviews, and bring in a picture as well as a good idea of what you want. Your color will not look as natural, and the process may be a little dirtier and more painful- but I personally always come out very happy. At the high-end salon I had gradual highlights using foils. I now go to a hairdresser who just bleaches my roots- no foils. No expensive conditioning treatments. However, my hair isn’t too damaged, though this route is a little less predictable. Your hair may be brassier than you’d like at times with a less-experienced stylist (but this is easily corrected with some toner or purple shampoo). I pay $70 every 8-10 weeks and this is what I currently use to maintain my bleach blonde hair. 

$ Okay Alternative: DIY! This is a super tricky process (especially if your roots are very dark, like mine). If you can, enlist in a friend to help you (though it is possible to do yourself). Watch as many YouTube hair coloring tutorials as you can. Results can be unpredictable (but almost every mistake can be corrected). You’ll want to get your supplies from Sally’s, and they’ll probably include a bucket of bleach, developer, toner, a mixing bowl, foil, and some gloves. All should cost under $30. Put baby-powder, white/yellow eyeshadow, or root-covering spray (I found some at Walgreens) over your dark roots if you can’t afford to touch them up as often. 


$$$ Best: You get what you pay for with these. Online you can find many high-quality wigs. Look for a lace-front, made of human hair (so you can heat-style it). These can be incredibly expensive. Typically over $1000. I have no personal experience with these wigs, but they’re what you see celebrities sporting. 

$$ Great: Still pretty expensive. As said- you get what you pay for. Go to a local wig-shop and try some on. You still want to be looking for a lace-front, though the hair will probably be synthetic. Make sure the wig you purchase isn’t too “shiny” looking. The shinier the hair, the lower-quality the wig. I paid $250 for my wig, and I am happy with it. Whether or not you can tell it’s obviously a wig is debatable. 

$ Okay Alternative: If there is a cheap alternative for wigs- I have not found one. If you buy a cheap wig, it will look like you are wearing a cheap wig. There are tons of wigs on the internet for as cheap as $30. Proceed with caution. 

Colored Contacts: 

I’m not going to discuss ocular implants in this section, as I have no personal experience and they are not yet available in the U.S. However, as mentioned by some followers in previous published asks: there is a procedure that permanently changes your eye color, like a permanent colored contact (though the color can be taken out and changed). Natural-looking. Cost at around $3500. This would probably be ideal for an eye-color change if you have the funds for a procedure and for travel. 

$$$ Best: FX Eyes. These are the colored contacts most celebrities opt for. Almost all are $475 without shipping. I have no personal experience with this brand of contacts, but they are apparently natural-looking and comfortable. These are the best-quality lenses you will find. The downfall is the obviously high price, and the fact that contacts need replacing and tend to be fragile. 

$$ Great: Desio eyes. They have an awesome Instagram page. This is the brand you see models/makeup artists/YouTube gurus sporting. Desio eyes are becoming ever-more popular. They are an Italian brand, and the price is about $54 without shipping. The downside is: It takes a month to arrive in the U.S! For this reason, I have not ordered from Desio (but plan to as my next purchase). 

$ Okay Alternative: Turtle Contacts! Despite the name, these are delivered relatively fast in the U.S. My favorite is “Dual Color Sky Blue”. $50 without shipping. The website seems kind of sketchy, but I’ve ordered from them a handful of times with no trouble. Contacts are not as natural-looking or as bright as Desio. Comfort is good. 


I have not personally found a brand I find to be superior to MAC. There are many brands of expensive designer makeup (Dior, Chanel, YSL, etc.) However, I would not label any of these brands as the “best”. For this reason, I’m only going to list “Great” and “Okay Alternative”, as MAC is in the “medium-budget” range.


$$ Great: I have not tried a MAC powder I didn’t love. The one you pick will depend on your skin-type. Around $27. 

$ Okay Alternative: I currently wear Loreal True Match and love it! It’s just a nice, reliable powder. Medium converge, keeps shine away. Does what a powder needs to do. About $9. 


$$ Great: MAC Snob is the best Barbie-pink for any skin tone. (Saint Germaine is a very Barbie-pink as well, but also a little dramatic and not flattering on everyone. MAC Russian Red has been, and always will be, THE best red lipstick. $16. 

$ Okay Alternative: I have yet to find a good drugstore dupe for “Snob”. Ulta or Sephora may have some okay dusty pinks, but they won’t be much less expensive than MAC. I suggest splurging on “Snob”. Drugstore lipsticks are going to be around $7-$12 anyway, and I’ve not tried a drugstore lipstick with a texture I didn’t hate. However, Revlon’s “Certainly Red” is a great and vibrant color (and apparently a favorite of Alena Shishova). $8.


$ Okay Alternative: In this case, the cheapest is the best. This should not be “okay alternative”, this should be labeled “only logical choice”. Maybelline Falsies is the best mascara. Ever. Handsdown. No debate. $7. 


$$$ Best: A good, old-fashioned spray-tan. They’ve really improved in quality over the past 5-10 years. (If any of you got your first spray tan for the middle school dance back in 2006 and ended up being nicknamed “Pumpkin Girl” for the rest of the year- you know just what I mean). No, the modern spray-tan is great. I’ve basically tried every single provider, so I’m not even going to differentiate between salons/brands. I’ve also gone to a personal spray-tanner (i.e, done by a human and not a machine) and the results have always been equally as good. Spray-tans are nowadays a reliable way to get an even, dark color. They last about two weeks. Downside is, they cost about $20-$30 per session, and at the end of the first week, can get sort of splotchy in places (exfoliate beforehand)! Also, standing naked and being sprayed by cold liquid for 15 minutes either by a scary machine or a person is not pleasant. The chemical smell and sticky-feeling over the next day is not ideal either. I prefer the cheaper alternatives. Though it is worth noting, this is the only option that can quickly cover the entire body and is almost guaranteed not to be streaky. For this reason, I suggest a spray-tan for occasions/outfits where you’ll be showing a lot of skin (i.e the beach, a revealing prom/pageant gown, etc.). Self-tanners are difficult to spread evenly on the back and torso. 

$$ Great: XenTan. Been using this one for five years now. Love it! I spread it on my face, neck, chest, and arms. It’s tinted, so you can see where you’re spreading and smooth out streaks. I’m never streaky with this lotion and it is never orange. $40 for a bottle that lasts me a year- year and a half. The only downside is that it takes a lot of lotion to get the legs, and can be time-consuming to apply if you’re tanning your whole body. Ideal for an every-day tan that requires little effort/time and you’re only going to be showing your chest/arms. One application lasts at least 2 weeks. 

$ Okay Alternative: Sally Hansen leg makeup! This stuff is amazing. My favorite drugstore product of all time. Severely underrated. It’s not a self-tanner, but a makeup. You spray it on your legs (I do a little on my arms sometimes as well, or upper-back), and immediately you have a dark, even tan. It’s water-proof and I haven’t had a problem with it coming off on my clothes (however my boyfriend has been unhappy with me for it ruining his white jeans). $13 at any drugstore. 


(Of course just painting your nails like everybody else is always on option- but where’s the fun in that?! I’m going to be discussing fake nails/acrylics. They’ve become really popular in recent years- as seen by all those fierce talon-nails plastered all over every Rosy blog in existence). 

$$$ Best: Salon acrylics. This is the obvious best option. If you’ve got the time and the money- go to a salon. Your nails will look beautiful and perfect. Downside is, it requires maintenance (also remember acrylics will damage your natural nail- making the upkeep of acrylics essential, as your natural nails will not be pretty to look at without them)! Salons typically charge somewhere between $20-$40 for acrylics. You also will need to revisit the salon as your nails grow to get the acrylics filled, which costs about $15. 

$$ Great: At-home acrylic nail kit. I found one of these at Walgreens. This kit costs about $25 and comes with many long, plastic “nails” and the tools to make your own acrylics. Downside is, though cheaper and saves trips to the salon- you must cut/shape the nails yourself. They are not going to be as beautiful or polished-looking (sorry) as what you’ll get in a salon. 

$ Okay Alternative: Drugstore acrylics. I know, I know- you totally associate these with the tacky gems that completed your glam-trash prom look way-back-when in 2004. They’re not all bad. I personally love the plain, french manicured sets. They take only a few minutes to apply, and last up to a week and a half. $6-$8. Downside is, they tend to pop off easy. I suggest carrying the small tube of nail glue in the package with you everywhere. There is nothing worse than sporting half french-manicured- perfection and half mangled-naked-nails that look like they’ve been stuck into an electric pencil sharpener. 

spacefacecass  asked:

hello! i was wondering if you have any tips on how to keep notes and journals look nice? and like any hacks or anything you use? thank you!!

Hello too! I do have my personal ways to make journals look nice but not so sure about my notes lol but here they are anyway!


  • neat handwriting

 I mean, notes are for studying, right? I think the most important thing when taking notes is to write neatly :) you can read more easily (which means your brain can understand it more easily) and it is also aesthetically pleasing ♡

  • keep it simple

I personally prefer a clean look when it comes to notes. I normally use only three colors; black, red and blue (classic lol). I use black for almost everything, red for the topic or conclusions (at the bottom of the page) and blue for extra informations or examples. If I need some drawing to understand things more easily, that’s when my colored markers come in :) I go crazy after that but until then, keep it SIMPLE !

  • use your ruler all the time!

Yes, I’m obsessed with clean looks on notes lol Whenever I need to draw in some kinds of graphs, or just lines, I always, ALWAYS use my ruler. It just makes everything look more organized. And clean, organized notes leads you to come back to your note more often cause they are BEAUTIFUL


  • neat handwriting

again, neat handwriting is EVERYTHING ! ! ! but you can try out some cute fonts since you don’t need to be as clean as when you’re taking notes haha

  • limit the colors you use

I usually go for two to three colors at a time (at a week). Too many colors will make your journal look confusing (a total chaos) and that’s not pretty :( Instead of using like a ton of colors, try matching two or three colors that go well together. Personal recommendations ; navy & gray, pink & brown, blue & dark yellow, white & beige etc.

  • draw or print & washi tapes

These are what really add character to your journal. Printing out pretty pictures is the easiest way to decorate your spread. (stickers are great, too) Find some great pictures from tumblr or on google ! I wish if my printer was working :( but it’s okay, I can always draw by myself ! (takes a loooooot of time tho) & I love using washi tapes♡♡♡ If you have one or two washi tapes that matches the colors of your spread, your work is done ! No, not yet lol You have to place them. I think washi tapes look the best when they are layered, placed next to the title, and in between texts ! The ones with white backgrounds are realllllly useful cause they can be layered with any washi tapes! Look up some of my posts to see what I mean ;) 

  • calligraphy

I don’t even need to explain this. Duh, right? 

+) I also draw in some sparkles into empty spaces of my journal. I can’t remember where I got the inspiration from :(

I think that’s about it. Whew! my answer gets longer and longer! 

Hope this was helpful :) Have fun studying, and with your journal!

Lapis and Jasper or could you guys stop?

So after I watched the alone at the sea episode and Iwent through the tumblr tags and reblog a tons of stuff and got seriously triggered (hehehe, never thought I am goint to use that word :D) by some of them and some people’s behaviour, I decided to add my own opinion about Lapis and Jasper, them ships, the new episode and the survivors. So If you are an abuse survivor who sides with Lapis you might be triggered by my post so be careful.

Lets begin and drop the bombs (this post is going to be very-very-very long)

The first part will be about why I think Lapis was abusive towards Jasper and how some excuses are simply not true or at least questionable.

Let me get this straight, for me Lapis was abusive towards Jasper and she has Stockholm Syndrome now. But Lapis was also a victim of abuse but not by Jasper but HW and the CGs (even if they dont know about it which is highly questionable). Just because she was confused and hurt that doesnt justify her actions.

And no Lapis didnt want to save her “new friends” the CGs and Earth because until the Same Old World episode she hated our planet and she still hates the CGs who kept her trapped and she has every reason to do so. She only started to like the Earth because of Steven and she only endures the CGs because of him. I hope we will get an episode where she confronts them. And I hope it wont be like the Peridot episode where almost everybody sided with Peri (even Steven) and they forgot that Lapis had her reasons to be angry at her and she wasnt simply just mean to „poor, cute” Peridot.

Lapis is not confused and she doesnt blames herself because of nothing. She knows who hurt her and she names them, ergo CGs, HW gems who poofed and tortured her and Peridot because she knows that it was her fault that she needed to go back to Earth. She even said: But you used me like everyone else and she did, for information. Peridot is not completly guilty but she and Jasper didnt torture her. And how do I know for sure? Because they didnt torture the CGs. They trapped them there and poofed Garnet but they didnt use the time they had to get information from them because they didnt have the authority for that and Lapis was an informat, she was assigned as an informant ergo somebody knew she had information that was useful for Peridots’ mission. If anybody tortured her it was Yellow Diamond or maybe Blue Diamond who gave her to YD. Lapis was put into her cell after she didnt give crucial information so HW could decide her fate.

But it was Jasper who forced Lapis, she tried to manipulate Lapis to fuse with her?

Jasper didnt force her to do anything. And I wouldnt call that manipulation more like convincing somebody to help you. Jasper was seriously weakend and she knew she wasnt strong enough. For Jasper as any HW gem fusion was really just a tactic to make some gems stronger (as we saw in the answer episode) and she thought that it was unfair that Garnet (two gem) defeated her who was alone. Jasper didnt like this tactic but she was ready to use it if it was needed. Jasper thought that Lapis wanted revenge on the CGs and that she still loved HW more than the rebells.

But Lapis had no other choice to save Steven.

Wrong. Lapis as we saw is a very powerful gem. Even after her gem was cracked she managed to defeate the CGs and stole the ocean. And now that she was healed she could easily broke a HW ship and punch Jasper out in a second. So no, a weakend Jasper couldnt hurt her.

But Lapis was weakend? -So she could fly away and still trap Jasper later on?

Lapis could have poofed Jasper but she didnt want her to be defeated she wanted to hurt her like she was hurt. „I am done being everyone prisoner so you are my prisoner now and I am never leting you go.”- Not your prisoner but everyone and she didn’t  just try to give back how Jasper handled her but to entrap her forever.

These pictures of Malachite doesnt really show Lapis as a victim. Jasper leaves mark print in the sand and try to end the fusion but she cant.


And in the Chille Tide episode we saw that Jasper wore the cuffs while Lapis part looked like a weight at the end of a chain. And she said: i have to keep her down. –ergo Jasper wanted to escape but Lapis didnt let her.

But Lapis didnt hurt her too much.- Umm… didnt Lapis described her experience as a tomb to Peridot? And that she was suffocating? – Imagine Jasper’s situation who was down more, she suffocated more.

Ok. but later on she didnt want to end the fusion eventhough she was in control.

Didnt Jasper said: If we have to be this thing at least we can have a little fun.

She sounded like someone who cant escape because the other one doesnt let her or an abused victim who accepted her place because no matter what the other person did she still wants to be with her/him or she just couldnt end the fusion. (this is the part where her stockholm syndrom starts to kick in).

When Malachite fought with the CGs it wasnt only Jasper but Lapis too because she was still mad at them, their hatred towards them combined and that is why Malachite could use her powers (ergo ice wall, spikes).

Alone at sea episode:

Lots of people say that Jasper lines are tipical abuser’s lines who try to guilt trip the victim and make them come back to them. That is one way to interpret them but if we really look into their history and how Lapis reacted to her I think they meant something different.

I was following you.- Lots of victims cant end their abussive relationship and they later on become obsessed with their abusers. So yes they follow them either to confront them or to go back to them.

This version of Rose Quartz works for you know- If Jasper is the abuser why would she respect Lapis’ powers and think that somebody would even want to do anything with them, especially work under them? Abusers dont like to assume or imagine their victims in higher positions.

You are pointing that shield the wrong way- A victim confront her abuser but others stand up to protect the abuser because they are friends or family members or dont believe the accusations because they didnt experienced them.

She is the one you should be afraid off- After what she has been went through no wonder that Jasper says that, even Greg is afraid off Lapis’ power.

You cant lie to me, I see what you are capable off -Jasper experienced Lapis’ bad side, she cant be innocent for her.

I thought I was a brute- Jasper admits she is harsh and agressive and she shouldnt have push Lapis and others around.

But you are a monster- For abused victims abusers are. And Lapis is suprised by that.

Lapis knew what she did was bad and she admitted that she enjoyed it. If she was really a victim she would say- Oh you hurt me but I enjoyed taking everything on you? That doesnt add  up. If you are a victim you dont have the upper hand in the situation, all you can do is to try to convict your abuser to do things in your way (hey like Jasper did hmmm?).

And no Lapis wasnt a victim who just gave back her abuse. Just ask yourself what Jasper really did to her? Based on what we saw she dragged her and pushed her around and try to convince her to fuse with her but nothing else.

But Lapis entrapped her for a year and suffocated her and that is not just a payback. And as I said before she could handle the situation differently.

Lapis doesnt want anything to do with you- Oh Steven my child yes she does. She admitted she misses Jasper and she missed being fused with her and taking her anger on her. And no that is not healthy.

It is between us.- People dont like when others try to stop their confrontations with their abusers, especially if they are on the wrong side.

Why would you want that?- Genuine suprise. Not how dare you even ask that or be angry about it.

I was wrong about fusion you made me understand- You made me understand how relationships suppose to work. It wasnt perfect but we can work on that.

I liked taking everything on you, I needed you, I hated you, It was bad- Lapis admits everything in this line but noo Jasper just guilt trip her and she always takes the blame. Again no, she knows who are to be blamed. (Peridot, Cgs, HW…)

It will be better this time, I have changed you changed me- You made me understand I was wrong. I accept you, you dont have to hurt me anymore because I will be good now. You really made me a better person. A real victim with stockholm syndrome rigth there.

I am the only one who can handle your kind off power- It is true tho. Jasper saw Lapis’ darkest side and she managed to survive it. Also if Lapis becomes corrupted or bad who will stop her? The CGS who were defeated by her even when she was injured? Peridot?- Come on. Steven?- He is still learning and weaker compared to Lapis. Only Jasper could stop her at least slow her down.

For a minute Lapis was thinking about it, how good it felt that she could control Jasper and take her fustration on her, she wanted to feel that again but after she looked at Steven she realized that she cant do that.

As a victim she was torned because when they hurt someone, they actually hurt themselves again. They know what they are doing is wrong but they cant stop it. They really need someone who can help them out and who they can trust. And Steven was that person there. Because of his love and friendship she managed to overcome her unhealthy feelings and decided to turn off Jasper’s offer.

Let me get this straight Lapis both enjoyed and hated being fused with Jasper. She enjoyed the control and suffering she caused but she also tried to hurt herself because she felt she dont deserve real happiness and Jasper’s inprisonment reminded her to her own.

It is like her own fans dont listen to Lapis when she talks about her abuse and her mistakes too. Peridot and the CGs hurt Lapis and she is angry at them. Her situation is better with Peridot now but only because Steven managed to convince her to give Peri a chance(which I think was kind off over looked). Lapis knows who hurt her and who she hurt. I like how the fans dont even speak about what she has done to Greg and how he reacted around her. But they probably going to excuse that too.

Jasper was bad she deserved everything and she is the villain of the show.

Jasper came with Peridot, their mission was to check on the cluster, they wanted to conquere nothing just check on it but Jasper used this opportunity to meet with Rose Quartz who she looked up to and wanted to defeate (or at least fight with her).  Lapis, Peridot was ok with defeating the CGs too. Lapis gave away the cordinates of their base and Peridot fired the laser.

Other things Lapis did:

Stole the ocean which could have killed all the humans

Broke Greg’s leg and his wan

Suffocated two children (not just headbut one) and almost killed Connie even after what Steven did to her.

But Jasper poofed Garnet and want to defeate the CGs

Peridot wanted to do the same thing.

She fired lasers against them

She kidnapped Steven and hold a gun to his head

She wanted to crush the CGs, not just poof them or bring them back to HW but to kill them off

But that is ok because they have changed and they are good now.- yes now but Jasper didnt get her backstory or redemtion arc so she have the same chance that these two.

But Rebecca said that there will be a villain- Didnt she said that there isnt any real bad guys in this show? Or do you really think that Jasper will be the main villain while the Diamonds corrupted their own followers, crushed them and made them into the cluster. Come on. -.-

But Rebecca based Lapis character from herself and she was a victim too. Ergo Lapis victim, Jasper abuser. –No Rebecca based her older comic on that and later on she based Lapis on that character but as I said in an other post did you guys forgot how the Su crew drew these two? (Jasper-  Juri Arisugawa and Lapis as Shiori) Do you guys think that the SU crew is so cruel to draw Rebecca ’s „abuser” in good light while Lapis in bad and manipulative? And they say for no reasone that she is a complex character?

This is kinda my interpretation of their relationship and Lapis based on the show and my own experiences in abusive relationship and my response for those who try to excuse Lapis’ behaviour and say that Jasper is the ultimate bad guy. I dont have problems if you guys disagree or interprete other ways what happened or you hate Jasper. I understand we cant love all the characters. But please be respectful towards other people opinion and show evidence off the show and not just based your opinion because of your life experince, like that is the only truth. Please, dont use your victim status to shut down arguments and opinions and ships. Even if others are not victims they can form their own opinion and ship whatever they want.

I dont really see people going to the Lapis+Peridot/ Lapis+ any CGs ship and telling them how wrong and problematic they are so dont do that to Jaspis either. Let people support their own ships and favourite characters and dont go around and call them victim haters and abuser excusers because your life experiences dont make other people’s feelings, interpretation and experiences invalid. You and people who agree with you are not the only part of the victim community and you dont have the right to speak in everybody’s name or to go around and bully other victims. It is even more disguisting if you are not even a real victim but you use them up to shut down conversations and spread hate towards other fans. As a victim you can share your own story and interpreation of characters and lines but dont use it just like that is to only healthy interpretation. What really makes me sick in the stomach that some victims feel the need to share their stories to make their opinions valid and to protect their favourite characters and themselves because others will call them out or bully them. Bytheway guys if you dont want others to comment, reblog and give their own opinions then dont make posts about that topic or at least dont put the you can reblog tag.

And to make this valid because of course my opinion dont matter otherways, an abused victim is signing off. (and no I was a real victim too but I am not going to share my stories because I just cant do it, they still hurt me too much).

The boys being first time fathers was so cute!!! I don’t know if you’ve done this before, but could we see the girls being first time mothers with their s/o??

Suuuuper cute! Hope you like it, it was a pleasure to write!

Maki Harukawa

  • She knows her way around with kids, so she’s fairly good with the baby!
  • She rather her partner play silly games with them, but will occasionally sit down to play hand games with them.
  • The baby cries a lot, but whenever it’s placed in Maki’s arms, it’ll immediately quiet down.
  • Sometimes she’ll just sit with the baby, stroking it’s head, in awe that something so innocent is tied to her!
  • She’s the one who always volunteers to go check on the baby when it cries out at night.
  • She’ll read the baby stories at night, and sometimes, when she thinks her partner isn’t around, she’ll sing a soft lullaby.

Kirumi Toujou

  • She’s a fantastic mother, and has lots of experience from watching over her friends.
  • She appears to be not worried at all, but deep down, she is terrified.
  • She watches her baby like a hawk, and likes to have it sit on her lap.
  • She enjoys sitting with her baby and showing it pictures of the outside world.
  • Reading to her child is her favorite, along with singing softly to it.
  • She cleans up after her baby, and teaches it to clean up after itself when it grows older.
  • She dresses her baby in rich colors, purple being her favorite.
  • She coaxes her baby to try new things! She’s quite good with convincing it to eat and bathe.
  • Her favorite memory with her newborn was watching it see snow for the first time! The expression of wonder warmed her heart right up

Angie Yonaga

  • She didn’t know how stressful taking care of a baby can be, so she’s a bit exhausted and down at first.
  • At first, whenever the baby could cry, she would immediately freak out, and ask her partner what should she do.
  • But then she brightens up as the baby grows, and begins to talk and walk!
  • She loves dressing her baby in colorful clothing; yellow being the most common.
  • She kisses it’s forehead all the time and cuddles as much as possible!
  • She tries her hardest for it’s first words to be either her name, or something related to the ocean.
  • Once the baby’s a toddler, she immediately introduces it to art.
  • They spend the days finger painting pretty pictures!
  • They have paint wars, and she lets her child smear paint all over her face!
  • She likes taking her baby outside, and soaking up the sunshine with it!

Kaede Akamatsu

  • She freaks out at first, yet eventually relaxes.
  • Although this doesn’t stop her from freaking out over every little thing the baby does.
  • She’ll photograph everything the baby does so she can look back on it later!
  • She’s the one to teach the baby how to talk, and later, sing.
  • She’ll listen to music all the time with her baby, and is really happy when it sings or makes noises alongside it!
  • She likes to hug her baby close to her, and’ll carry it around as much as possible.
  • She really likes the contact, it makes her feel warm inside.
  • She’ll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, likely having a nightmare about something happening to her kid. She’ll beg her partner to go check on it at these times, or do so herself!

Miu Iruma

  • She worries that she will not be a good mother, but her partner assures her she’ll do fine.
  • She’s quite loud, which causes the baby to cry whenever she yells.This causes her to feel extremely bad, and she’ll fold in on herself and apologize to the baby and her partner.She likes to take the baby outside once it grows, and they’ll spend hours watching the sky, trees, and all that.
  • She likes to explain stuff to her baby, and it makes to be a great audience.
  • She’ll spread blueprints out in front of it, and excitedly ask for it’s opinion, even though it can’t respond.
  • She’ll let her baby watch her tinker and work, and she takes breaks often to cuddle and play with it.
  • They can be found crashed in the corner of her workshop often, the baby resting safely on her chest.
  • She makes her baby little goggles to match her own! It’s super cute! It makes her feel good.
  • She calls her child “Miu Junior”
  • She brags often that her baby, along with her, are super great and literally the best!

Himiko Yumeno

  • Having a baby is rough for her, because it’s extremely tiring.
  • But that doesn’t stop her from being a great mother!
  • The first gift she got her baby was a plush rabbit, resembling those she’d pull from hats.
  • She likes to watch her baby sleep, sometimes dozing off alongside it!
  • She’ll do magic tricks for her baby! She considers it, and her partner, her number one fans!
  • She laughs at the shocked expression the baby makes as she does simple tricks.
  • She always makes her partner go and calm the baby in the middle of the night.
  • For the baby’s first Halloween, she made it a little witch hat like hers!
  • She loves her baby a lot, and gives it cute pet nicknames, though was restricted from calling it her “familiar” because it freaked the other moms out.

Tsumugi Shirogane

  • She’s super excited to be a mom!
  • She’s one of the mothers who makes sure that everything is perfect for her child.
  • This means that they must use the safest shampoos, wipes, clothing…
  • She fawns over her baby’s every move, and is never far away with a camcorder!
  • She makes her baby cute little outfits, and stitches their name into everything!
  • She made a quilt for her baby to sleep under, and stitched the names of family members into it! -She’s super proud of her child, and tells it that on a daily basis.
  • She buys her child a ton of plushies and toys, and is always ready to mend a tear!
  • Sometimes she spaces out when watching the baby, so she freaks out whenever it’s doing something different from when she last saw it.

Tenko Chabashira

  • She is absolutely t e r r i f i e d.
  • She reminds her partner over and over that she’s too loud, too clumsy. She’ll mess it up.
  • Her partner reassures her that it’ll be fine, yet she still worries immensely.
  • When her baby first cried at home, she cried too, worried that she did something wrong.
  • When her baby laughs, she always laughs alongside it.
  • She likes to pick up her baby, and carries it practically everywhere.
  • Once her baby can walk, she’ll follow it around like a lost puppy.
  • She’s delighted at how flexible her baby is, and will gently help it stretch.
  • She’s always ready to swoop down to the rescue, and whenever the baby wakes up crying, she’s there in a heartbeat.
  • Telling stories is her favorite, and she’ll get extremely into it, and even act out a few scenes!
  • She likes to kiss her baby’s stomach, and tickle it until it laughs!
Balconies: Chapter 1 - A Cup of Coffee

Originally posted by superuunatural

Balconies Series Masterlist

Characters - AU Bartender!Reader x Mechanic!Dean

Summary - She moved into a new apartment, got herself a new job and a few new friends. What she didn’t realize, was that on the other side of her wall was someone who would change her life. A man with bright green eyes and a charming grin.

The neighbors met on the balcony, but can their little world up there survive when it meets the real world?

Word Count - 1265

Warnings - None. Just Fluff. Also, Light Cursing.

A/N - Here we are! The first chapter of my first series! I am so excited for y’all to read this, you have no idea. 

Tags@aprofoundbondwithdean @avasmommy224 @balthazars-muse @chelseamarie73 @daydreamingintheimpala @d-s-winchester  @iwantthedean  @moonstonemystyk @mspseudonymwho (It won’t let me tag you for some reason!)  @okay-okay18 @supernatural-jackles @treasurecastiel 

You always held true to the belief that moving was some form of torture. It was always a pain to move all your crap from one building to the next. There were always casualties no matter how much bubble wrap you used, and you bought a ton of bubble wrap. Though you hated moving, you were glad to be moving forward in life.

Setting the final box down, you looked around at all the cardboard that surrounded you and sighed. This was not going to be fun to put away. Your friend Charlie moved two years ago, and she still had a lot of her stuff crammed into boxes in her closet. Hoping to not share the same fate, you started to unpack.

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The Terminal, Ch. II

So I will not ask you where you came from
I would not ask and neither would you.

The flight was bumpy and short. The call came at 6:01. Clarke waited for her luggage and her friend to appear, hugging her and welcoming her back, asking for gifts and complaining about traffic and the weather and tourists and her boyfriend. The ringing of her phone shook her hands and she felt the pressure of choosing, suddenly at hand. She debated picking up, stuck and frozen as the carousel beeped and bags began a slow, arduous journey down the chute and towards the weary passengers.

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Gotta Catch ‘em All

Derek works in a smaller neighborhood branch of his town’s public library system. Author events, book signings, lectures: they’re nearly always at Central, which means Derek’s days tend to pass pretty quietly. He likes it that way. He likes being off the radar, able to slip in hours of reading on the slowest days. 

There’s enough to keep him busy, of course, and to keep his branch open. The neighborhood’s mostly made up of older folks - there’s a big senior living center a couple blocks away, and an assortment of small businesses that make it feel like a miniature town all to itself. Derek loves it. 

He can walk to work - it’s a longish walk, true, but it’s Northern California, so the weather’s nearly always pleasant - and swing by the grocery store on the way home. Pick up a Redbox, if he’s feeling drawn to any of the posters on the side of the kiosk. Choose some fresh vegetables from the farmer’s market pop-up shop, and a nice bottle of Chardonnay from the wine shop; drinking alone isn’t sad if you take the time to cook a nice dinner to go with it, he thinks. He’d argue the point if he had anyone to argue it with. 

He’s gotten to know a lot of people in the neighborhood, to the extent that he wants to. The library has a steady stream of seniors browsing through the books and bringing stacks of DVDs to the counter. There are a lot of BBC series and Criterion Collections stocked on his shelves, but he’s particularly fond of Marta, who loves superhero movies and always stops by the desk to debate with Derek when she returns her latest; and Chuck, who’s at least 80 years old and picks out every musical he can find, humming bits of the choruses on his way out the door. 

Derek frequently helps both of them put in hold requests for movies to be transferred over from the other, larger branches. He does a lot of that: helping his patrons find what they’re looking for. Even guiding them through their technology woes, sometimes, although many of the elderly women who cycle through the library text more often, and more rapidly, than he does - his phone’s always on silent at work, but the screen usually remains dark, anyway.

There’s a large enough population of grandkids to keep the children’s section fairly large and well-stocked, and Derek spends a decent amount of time reshelving scattered piles of picture books and maintaining order in the chaos that erupts each time a crowd of children storms through. The kids call him Mister Hale, have their own library cards that they proudly produce, and insist on carrying their own books and putting them up on the counter themselves

Derek installed a sturdy step stool early on, so he could see more than tufts of hair and bright little eyes staring over the counter, little arms stretched overhead to hand over their books to be scanned.

The teen section is the smallest. He keeps some graphic novels and bestsellers on hand, but there’s little point in curating a full collection, when the high school’s downtown, and that population spends all its time at Central or the branch on Maple - on the east side of town, near the Walmart and the movie theater and the bowling alley.

He’s happy, most days. He’s finally stopped looking over his shoulder, or flinching when people speak to him. The ladies he sees on his walks smile at him and call him Derek, or dear (which he doesn’t mind), or sweetie (which he does, but he tries not to let it show), but they only pass the time, as they would with any of their other friends. They don’t brazenly check him out, or try to pinch his ass, or stroke sharp fingers over his biceps, or make him feel dirty and used and wrong.

It took time to get past that. But he’s there now, he thinks. He feels safe. A little anonymous, in a nice way. Settled into a life that’s got enough variety to keep it interesting, and enough routine to give him stability.

Until the day a guy in a ratty old hoodie stops outside the library, taking pictures through the windows.

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Animal Crossing : Happy Home Designer - Furniture Guide Masterlist - Unlocking Furniture

Hey Guys! This is a guide for what villager unlocks what items! It’s almost 2/3rds of the way to being completed - stay tuned :)

I’ll mainly be focused on the normal 333 villagers, but also amiibo card unlocks and DLC characters/items as well!

any questions/comments/concerns, send me an ask! ^-^

i’ll be placing everything under the cut, so that it is always up to date & you don’t have a 10 page essay to scroll through, Enjoy!

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