trying to kill us both

anonymous asked:

Question: does Keith ever actually agree to a cutesy nickname? Also, how quickly did Lance decide Keith needed one? I'm guessing, like, immediately, and when Keith hardcore refused to be called "babe", he just started being ridiculously gooey and gross with the nicknames because "I-actually-want-you-to-pick-one-because-I'm-sappy-and-romantic-that-way-and-also-this-embarrasses-you-which-is-now-one-of-my-top-priorities-in-life-so-honestly-it's-a-win-win" XDD

It took Lance and Keith about three weeks to settle into their status as “boyfriends.” 

After coming down from the high that was a romantic space ball, Lance found he had no clue how to be a boyfriend, and sort of floundered in awkwardness a lot, trying to hold hands but then changing his mind and doing things like pretending to pick lint off Keith’s jacket sleeve. 

Keith had moments of weird insult-compliments because he thought that maybe they shouldn’t fight anymore? So he’d start with, “Lance, you’ve gotta stop running your mouth … except, uh, it’s nice, sometimes, and I like looking at your lips saying stupid stuff?”

They got over this eventually, but Pidge and the others got so much amusement out of it that many inside jokes developed as a result. (“Hey Pidge, you know I love you ‘cause I’m constantly grooming your clothes!” “Aw, thanks, Hunk, I think you’ve got a funny face, but it’s nice to look at it!”)

There was some awkward maneuvering during meal times, too. (Do they sit together? Across from each other? “Okay, make up your minds, Lance, Keith, at this point you’re both just playing musical chairs.” “Bite me, Pidge.” “Insert obligatory innuendo about your boyfriend here.” “Wow, Keith is really red now — nice one!” “Hey, only I’m allowed to embarrass him like that!”). 

And, first kiss aside, there was a lot of: 

“Um, Keith, can I kiss you now? Is this a kissing moment?” 

“That was a pretty awesome shot you just made, so I think yes …” 

Also: “Keith, is there some kind of rule for making-out? Do we just agree together that this couch is a make-out spot?” 

“I don’t mind kissing you anywhere — I mean, anywhere on the Castle, not like, anywhere on your not yet at least, and Lance, stop freaking laughing and kiss me, you asshole.”

Not to mention they had to figure out where their boundaries were during super-important-Voltron-missions-and-meetings, as well as when they were just hanging out with the others during casual-nobody-is-trying-to-kill-us times.

Eventually, they both became at ease with certain levels of PDA, and they learn how to read each other’s wordless cues, and talk about other things that are important, like the how and when of personal space, how much time to spend in each other’s rooms, etc.

So, almost a month has gone by at this point, and Lance is comfortable and content, and just has to call his boyfriend something other than “Keith” or “Red.” But when he lets “babe” slip out, Keith immediately says, “Uh, no. Never say that to me again.” 

Lance took that as a challenge, and started tossing increasingly terrible names at him randomly and with much eyebrow waggling. Keith got annoyed, but he never took Lance aside to seriously ask him to stop, so Lance kept right on embarrassing him (and the others, secondhand), for about two weeks. 

And yes, romance was fifty percent of his enjoyment, but blushing Keith was absolutely the other fifty percent of his motivation — even if half of these blushes were less I’m-so-embarrassed, and more next-time-we-spar-I’m-going-to-kick-your-ass.

During their pirate encounter, Lance lets “querido” slip out — partially deliberate, partially a natural fall back into his native language, but as soon as he says it, Keith has a very visceral reaction, and that is it

Lance uses querido and cariño all the time. After they’ve been dating for even longer, mi amor slips in too. And maybe, further down the road, mi vida comes into play.

Point being, Lance cannot believe he’d neglected to use Spanish with Keith, especially considering that words of affection were the first he’d learned, since they’d been said to him by his parents and older siblings since he was a baby. He starts speaking Spanish not only with Hunk, but with Keith now as well, and it’s fun to whisper things into Keith’s ear, watching him turn pink, even when all he’s saying is, “Querido, next time you use my face cream without asking first, I’m going to flush your fingerless gloves down the toilet.”


And holy crap, I’m sorry! What a freaking roundabout way to answer your question. *sweats* Sometimes my brain does stuff without my permission. Damn. You’re awesome for asking stuff, and I’m sorry for being so damn long-winded! *hugs*

The Joker x Reader - “Old Habits”

Everyone in the underworld answers to The Organization. This only happens once, but you will be auctioned to the other members that already served their term and for 6 months you will belong to that person. You have to do anything they ask, both on personal and business level. All the profits go to The Organization; you can’t keep anything for yourself; you can’t escape, you can’t avoid it, just postpone the inevitable. After your 6 months, you can choose and stay as a bidder (just like you did).

“We’ll start the bidding at $500.000 ! “ the auctioneer points towards The Joker, who is chained to the wall and sure doesn’t look pleased with this evening’s events. But there is nothing he can do about it and he is aware of it. He certainly fought them, that’s why he’s tight up. J should have known better but …there he is.

You lift your hand up and so do several more.

“You’re popular, Mister Joker” the announcer snickers and you know J enough to notice he might snap soon. Please don’t do anything reckless, it’s only going to make it worse, you think to yourself, worried.

“What about a million dollars, hm?”

Poison Ivy turns towards you, winking:

“Wanna share him? We can go half-half girl,” she bites her lip, enthusiastic.

“Not on J, Ivy”, you answer, determined to hold your ground.

“Uhhhh, you’re no fun Y/N! But I can understand how powerful an old flame can be… ” she sighs, playing with her hair.

“ 2 million?” you hear and you lift your hand again. So many wanting him… If anybody else gets The Clown Prince of Crime it won’t be pretty. He can probably handle it… and yet something inside you doesn’t want you to give up.

“ 5 million! “ you raise your voice and all heads turn towards you.

The Joker finally notices you and grinds his teeth, definitely not glad with the encounter.

“6!” Ivy waves at the auctioneer, excited.

“7!” you keep on going, irritated she is just doing it to antagonize you.

“8!”

You take a deep breath and loudly exclaim:

“12 million!” People start talking and whispering and Ivy pouts, already bored:

“She can have him for that price,” she giggles, elbowing you. You pinch her arm, smiling and relieved you won.

“12 million going once, going twice…. Mister Joker is sold to Miss Y/N for 12 million!”

Everyone starts clapping and congratulating you; he just stares with a blank expression on his face, wanting to kill everyone in the huge room. At least he didn’t do anything stupid for once.

***********************

“Untie him,” you command once J is brought to your quarters. He starts cussing, trying to kick the guards and you cover his mouth while they take the chains off.

“Please shut up, you’ll get in trouble. It’s your turn and there is nothing you can do about it. If you run or try to trick them, they will take away everything from you and you’ll have nothing to get back to in Gotham, you know it. Most than likely you’ll end up dead; they don’t like rebellions, no matter who the person is. Are you good now?” you ask and his chest goes up and down really fast but he nods a yes. “Good, “you let go and the guards are done too. “Leave us,” you signal and once they are gone you close the door behind them, finally relaxing a bit.

“Where the hell were you???!!!” he stomps towards you, extremely furious and pushes you so brutally you almost fall on your back. “You just left me without a word???!!  Gone for 8 months and now I find myself here with you as my buyer for the next half a year?!!! Do…do you know how long I’ve… I’ve searched for you?” he takes it down a notch, keeping his hands in his hair, panting.

You just regain your balance and calmly inform him:

“You know I postponed my time for as long as I could until they didn’t play along anymore. They came for me at my apartment and I had to go. I couldn’t contact you because they don’t allow it, you know the rules. I thought you would have guessed on why I disappeared…I didn’t leave you…” you blink faster, rubbing your cheeks, not wanting to get too emotional about it.

“Why didn’t you come back, hm?” he points his finger at you, still mad. “Your 6 months were up two months ago!!!”

“I stayed for you!” you suddenly scream and he frowns, not expecting it. “I knew your time will be up soon and you won’t be able to avoid it. I wanted to buy you so none of the ones having a grudge against you will !!!! Once you leave you can’t come back so I stayed. That’s why I chose to remain here as a bidder, you, you…ungrateful JERK!!!” you lash out at him, upset and almost regretting your decision.

“Jeez, thanks,” The Joker has the nerve to sarcastically mock you, even if on the inside he gets the picture.

“You dare talking to me like this, J?!” you tremble with anger, trying not to have a meltdown. “You know this is everyone’s chance to get revenge on those whom they don’t like or have a grudge against. And you, King of Gotham… “ you smirk, fuming with vexation,”… have a lot of enemies among our own. You should be so grateful right now that you’re mine and not someone else’s! Do you know Ivy wanted to share, huh? Do you know what happens to the men she buys? I’ve seen it and it’s not pretty. Harvey hates you, he would have torn you to pieces until the bitter end of your 6 months. Riddler would have driven you insane, really insane; you wouldn’t have recognized yourself at the end of your time!!! You think you know mind games? HA! Try his!… And the list goes on and on!”

You take a deep breath because spitting out this stuff made you all worked up.

J definitely seems speechless for once; he keeps on looking at you up and down, debating:

“Who… who bought you?” he utters, taking off his jacket and placing it on the bed.

“I was lucky it was Dr. Freeze,” you sniffle. “Due to his…condition, I mostly just had to do the business part for The Organization. A few times…”, he sees your eyes getting teary, “…I don’t want to talk about it, OK? And then I stayed…waiting for you…so I can get you and nobody else. That’s how much I cared. But don’t worry, that’s not the case anymore,” you hiss at him, regaining your composure. “ I just wanted to repay you for that time during the Wayne Industry heist you saved my life. I don’t want to owe you, understand?” you quickly make up a reason this way it won’t show how hurt you are. He has no idea what you’ve been through and what it took for you to stay when all you desired was to leave and run back to him.

The Joker just lifts his shoulders up, puckering his lips:

“So this means I don’t have to sleep with you and all that stuff since I’m yours for 6 months?”

“Exactly, I don’t want you to touch me; just worry about the business part of it and get them as much money as they want!  I’m responsible for you so try not to get us both killed. Then you’re done and that’s it. If you want to stay as a bidder afterwards, it will be your choice,” you grumble, shaking your head since J is really getting on your nerves.

He deliberates for a few seconds before talking again:

“So…what am I supposed to do if I…get…the urge, Doll?”

“What?!” you snarl, not amused. The Joker was hoping it would make you smile.“Whatever you did while I was gone!” you bark at him and head towards the bathroom, adamant to take a shower, maybe it will help cool you off.

You hear the knock in the door and it scares you. Were you two really loud?! Hopefully they didn’t hear the argument or you’re in big trouble.

“Take your shirt off, quickly!” you tell him while you pull your dress over your head, taking your bra off and tossing it to the side. He knows why so for once he does as asked and you push him in bed, getting on top of him really fast and covering everything you can with the blanket.

“Come in,” you turn your head and one of the guards walks in, averting his eyes when he sees the both of you like that.

“What is it? I’m busy enjoying my prize!” you growl, covering your breasts with your hands.

“I’m so…so sorry to interrupt, Miss Y/N. I have the Organization’s list of everything Mister Joker has to do for 6 months, all the heists, kidnappings and…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” J replies, irked, getting on his elbows. “Just get out, we know the drill; the lady’s having fun, OK? She sure wants her money’s worth so I have to get back to business, like…NOW!”

“Leave that stuff on the table,” you point with your head and the guard obliges, turning around afterwards and exiting your quarters.

“Of course, m-my apologies again,” he nervously stammers, closing the door.

“Good, this helped, it looks believable,” you whisper. “Would you take your hand out of my bikini?!” you slap his arm, trying to kick him in the crotch as you get off him.

“Heyyyy, watch the merchandise, you paid 12 million for it!” J snickers and he doesn’t like the fact that you’re still upset. But he was a complete ass, so…

“You’re not worth it, trust me…” you sadly reply and he bites his tongue because he sure wants to say something very mean. “I’m going for a shower, I have 2 more bathrooms in my quarters, pick one,” you let him know with a sour expression on your face, heading back towards your own.

*************************

“So I’m sleeping here?” he inquires, slamming 4 pillows on the bed.

“Yes, you know the rules: you have to sleep in the same bed with your buyer. Sometimes they raid the rooms at night, they sure don’t care about privacy too much. You can’t lock the doors, ever.  We have to follow protocol.”

The Joker huffs, fiddling around with his boxers before sitting down.

“How was sleeping in the same bed with Dr. Freeze?” he inquires, watching you roll your eyes:

“Cold!” you shortly reply and continue: “This is a double king so there’s plenty of space. Make sure you stay on your side, don’t try your sneaky ways with me,” you warn him, getting comfortable under your comforter. You reach your hand and turn off the lamp when you hear:

“Hey, Y/N, do they have stripers here?”

“Shut the hell up, J!” you place the cover on top of your head, hoping he’ll be quiet.

“No, seriously, do they?” he tries again.

Since you don’t answer, The Joker assumes he can continue yapping:

“I think you should know I might have got somebody pregnant.”

“For God’s sake, give it a rest, will you?” you turn on the other side. “I don’t care!”  but after a few seconds he is so pleased to hear your muffled voice from under the covers: “Did you really?!”

His maniacal laughter resonates in the bedroom and you decide not to say anything anymore.

************************

You wake up sweating, feeling really hot and you realize why: he got under your comforter and he’s squeezing the life out of you in his sleep.

“J, wake up, go on your side!” you take his hands away from around your waist, not wanting him so close to you. “This better be your gun!” you push him away, not entertained at the situation.

“Nope, not my gun, you know I sleep naked,” he groans, half asleep. “Old habits, don’t flatter yourself,” and he tries to snuggle by you again.

“I’m not. Stop bugging me, I mean it!” you punch him in the arm, aggravated again.

“Don’t hit me!” he musters, trying really hard not to hit you back. “…What the hell is this?!” J grumbles, feeling your skin from under your t-shirt.

“Not all my missions were easy, I have more scars now, “you confess, not happy at the memories, pulling away from him and he finally lets go and rolls over towards his side of the bed.

“I’m sure you deserved it,” he maliciously responds, getting cozy with his pillows. He certainly likes to bite.
“Just make sure you do what you have to do for your 6 months and then you’re done…we’re done with this nonsense…” you sulk since you are fed up with his crap.

“Whatever, I don’t give a damn!” he has one last outburst before winding down. “Hey, Y/N, can you imagine me sleeping in the same bed with Dead Shot or Harvey? Those guys are boring.”

And you thought he was done. But you don’t reply.

“But Ivy though… that woman knows how to make other men want her and… ouch, hey, watch it!” The Joker protests when he receives one of your pillows right in the face. “ I’m keeping this one too,” he decides, and he hears you mumble not very nice things; it pleases him to realize he still has the power to antagonize you.

***********************

He came back from one of his mission with a black eye. Because of his pale skin, it looks so much worse than it is.

“Can you see?” you ask, staring at his eye: definitely doesn’t look clear blue anymore: just red, swollen and inflamed.

“Somewhat,” J sighs, grabbing the ice bag from your hand and placing it over his bruise.

“You should go to one of the doctors here, I don’t want you to go blind,” you pout, unconsciously keeping your hand on top of his.
“I thought you don’t care, Doll,” he pushes your hand away, pretending to be in pain.

“I don’t,” you are fast to respond. “I just want you to be able to continue with your assignments, remember I am responsible for you.  Are you sure you don’t need a doctor?”

“Pffttt, I’m OK, I’m The Joker. I don’t need anybody for anything,” he puffs, hinting at you not being important to him.

Like you need clues.

“Yes, honey,” you make it a point of being overly sarcastic while saying it, “we are all aware of that!” and you slam the door, leaving the confused J sitting on the couch with a displeased expression on his face. He sure believed you will put up with his temper and venomous remarks and baby him. This is what you used to do…

********************

He returned from a robbery with two bullet wounds in his right arm. The medical team took care of that and patched him up well, but you know it’s not going to be easy: he’s never been a good patient.

He keeps on tossing and turning, wincing in pain while you want to nap. You try not to pay attention but he won’t quit. You even cover your head with a pillow; it’s no use.

“Doll, I think I have a fever,” he whines, pulling at your blanket.

“Uuuhhhhh,” you get up on your side, wishing you have shared him with Ivy so she can get a taste of his wonderful interpersonal skills. But since you didn’t…joke’s on you. “No you don’t!” you snap but move towards him anyway to check. Old habits

“See? I’m burning up,” J complains and starts purring when you touch his forehead.

“You’re fine, you don’t seem… too…hot…” you utter and glare when he takes your hand and kisses it.

“I am hot, maybe horny, can’t really tell,” he flashes his silver smile at you, winking.

“Stop your stupid games!” you back out, regretting you felt for it.

“What games?! I got shot and I’m in pain. Com’ere,” he gestures for you and it makes you cringe.

“No, I’m fine where I am,” you decline and The Joker is not used with rejection. He opens his mouth to say something vicious and you just ignore him. “Good night!” you cut it short, wanting to rest. You manage to put your ear plugs in, not willing to listen to a single word that comes out of his mouth anymore. He sure blurred out a lot of things that you didn’t hear.

*************************

2 in the morning and you wake up startled, not knowing why. You stretch, adjusting against your body pillow when you hear J groan in his sleep, uncomfortable from his fresh wounds he got on another commision today.

He’s dozing off in the middle of the bed and since you have the nightlight on you can distinguish the grimace of pain on his face and messy green hair all over the place. You watch his restless sleep for a while and bite your cheek, worried without even noticing. You move close to him and touch his forehead but it doesn’t seem like he has a fever.

You remember how you used to comfort him when he got injured in the past and you press your lips against the bandages, not even knowing why you’re doing it. Old habits

“What are you doing, Pumpkin?” J yawns, scrunching up his face with his eyes closed.

“Kissing it better,” you bitterly reply and can’t help but sensing your heart beating faster when he answers:

“It does feel better…” and he softly pulls on your hair, snoozing, playing with the long strands until he’s out cold again. You wouldn’t know that what you did sure relaxed him; he wouldn’t admit to it even if it kills him, but he really misses your touch. Old habits

You swear in your mind this is the only time you will be nice to him since he really screwed up. You have to be strong, this way you can have revenge for all the anguish you suffered for his sake.

*********************

Today is the end of his 6 months service and The Joker ended up being stabbed on his mission. Since it’s quite a superficial lesion, they allowed him to take the rest of the day off. He mopes around the quarters, delighted his ordeal is over with. He sure didn’t enjoy serving his time for The Organization. So much money, diamonds and guns he got for them and he couldn’t keep anything. He completely detests it but there was no way around it.

Where is she? J wonders since he didn’t see you at all today. He really wants to get out of there as soon as possible.

You enter the rooms with the 4 guards and seem deep in thought. When you leave the premises for good you have to always be accompanied by them; you can’t take anything with you; all stays behind.

“Finally, Y/N, let’s get out of here!” he impatiently grabs your hand and starts dragging you out. “Walk faster!” J barks and after a few moments you yank your hand away, staying behind while the security team closely follows his steps. He turns his head, reaching for you again while pacing down the hallway.

“Come on, what you are doing?! Move it!”

“I’m staying…” The Joker hears your voice echoing and he halts, alarmed, not even knowing why he has this strong desire for you to follow him.

“You’re what?!” he tilts his head, irritated and wants to head back towards you but the guards won’t let him.

“You can’t go back, sir, you know the rules. Please keep on walking!”

“What the hell are you doing, Y/N?! Let’s go!” he yells, trapped in between the wardens.

You blink fast a few times, hesitant. You sure want to get out of the place as fast as him… yet:

“They’re bringing Frost in tomorrow,” you talk loud enough so he can hear you. “I want to get him; a lot of them hate Jonny for his connection to you.”

“That’s so stupid, Doll! I thought you want to run out of here as soon as I was done with my time!” he shouts as the guards make him move again.

He keeps on looking back and you don’t say anything; you just lift your hand and wave a faint good-bye, your eyes getting watery while watch him depart. You don’t even know why you are so upset; he’s definitely not worth it.

“Fuck!” J grumbles, irked he won’t see you anytime soon. He can’t understand why his selfish self keeps on having doubts about leaving you behind; you’re definitely not worth it. “Hold on!” he gets the attention of his wardens. He takes a deep breath and passes his fingers through his hair, wanting to keep his mouth shut but something inside makes him pronounce the words: “I’m staying as a bidder.”

“Are you sure, Mister Joker?” one of the guys double checks.

“Yes, I’m sure, even if I’m aware this is the most stupid ass decision I’ve ever made…besides dating her, of course,” he scoffs, heading back towards you.

You pretend you don’t care at all when he comes in front of you and starts rambling, dramatically gesturing to accentuate his feelings:

“If you think you will get Frost and sleep with him in the same bed without me supervising the whole damn thing, you’re wrong!”

“Huh?!” you look so confused when he angrily hugs you.

Him and his stupid jealousy… Old habit.

 Also read- MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

anonymous asked:

hey you know that callout about giving a growing child a bracer? well after going to the medical wing he came to me (greatest wizard, taako from tv) and asked if i had a spell for it. i burnt all my spell slots trying to get it off and almost killed us both twice. please help i am going to fight the director.

-

Probably something that's actually happened
  • Fives: Padmè? More like pad-DAMN.
  • Fives: What the difference between Anakin and Droids? IDK because they're both always trying to get us killed
  • Fives: Why didn't the clanker cross the road?
  • Fives: Because I shot him.
  • Rex: Fives, I swear to God...
  • Fives: Oh no Captain, please don't yell at me, that would be Ter-REX-ible!
  • Rex: I'M FUCKING COURT MARSHALING YOU.
ABC's Castle Quote Sentence Meme
  • “Apart from the fact that I’m dying, I’m fine.”
  • “Can I say something that will probably annoy you?”
  • “Everything I’ve ever done, every choice I’ve ever made, every terrible and wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me, it’s all led me to right here, this moment with you.”
  • “Everything you’ve accomplished is because of me.”
  • “Have you ever looked back on something you’ve done and it’s like someone else is doing it?”
  • “I can’t help it if you got off by putting things in my mouth.”
  • “I don’t know what to do about my life.”
  • “I just feel like I’ve waited long enough. I don’t want to waste any more time before we take the next step.”
  • “I love when you get angry, I mean at other people, not at me.”
  • “I need time to stop being mad and you need time to figure out a way to be okay with this.”
  • “I need you to know that our partnership, our relationship is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.”
  • “I think I’m man enough to admit I’m completely theory-less.”
  • “I’d rather be dead than end up in your bed.”
  • “I’m so happy for you, despite of who you’re marrying.”
  • “I’m suddenly getting a clear and frightening visual of what my future will look like.”
  • “I’ve been kind of looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you so don’t do anything stupid.”
  • “If I have to hear that confession one more time, I’m going to shoot somebody.”
  • “In life, there is no such thing as a perfect time for anything.”
  • “Keep your mouth shut and let’s try not to get us both killed.”
  • “Lipstick marks on my shirt? Where?”
  • “Now just take your turn and feel the bitter sting of defeat.”
  • “The last thing I need is to watch someone from my past try to seduce my fiance while talking about the goddess that lives in her hooha.”
  • “Trusts kills faster than bullets.”
  • “What’s a great love story without obstacles to overcome? Every fairy tale has them.”
  • “You want everything to be black or white. I get it. But in this town it rarely is.”
  • “You’re trying to drive me crazy, aren’t you?”
I Don't Like You Part 2 (Cassian Andor x Reader)

Originally posted by krasnaya-ledi

Word Count: 1307

Pairing: Cassian Andor x Reader

AN: You can read Part one here and part two here

Today was the day you were leaving for Jedha, accompanied by the man you hated ever since you joined the rebellion, Cassian Andor. That morning Mon Mothma had briefed both you and Cassian on the mission. You were to gather information from a gang leader on Jedha (who has been rumored to be working with the Imperials) whom the rebellion believes knows about the weapon that the Empire is building.

You were making your way to Cassian’s ship when you heard the all too familiar voice of K2 shouting your name. “Y/N! I didn’t believe Cassian when he told me that you would be accompanying us on this mission, since there is only a 10% chance of that ever happening. But it appears to be true! I finally get to go on a mission with you!” You had never seen the droid so excited before, you couldn’t help the wide smile that appeared on your face. K2′s sarcastic remarks and kindness towards you were what always made you feel at home on Yavin 4, being in the rebellion would suck if this droid wasn’t here with you. 

“Good morning K2, always a pleasure to see you.” You greeted him, giving the droid a friendly pat on the shoulder as you moved past him into the ship. You didn’t hear K2 respond because your eyes were too busy glaring at your worst enemy. Cassian. You broke your glare to dump your backpack onto the floor, choosing to just ignore him this entire mission. It would be easier then actually trying to work together.

“Don’t I get a good morning?” Cassian asked, sending you a sarcastic smirk that you really wanted to slap off his face. 

“No, you don’t.” After double checking you packed everything, you yelled out to K2 who was conversing with an R2 unit outside.

 “K2 we’re leaving now!”


It wasn’t long before your ship left, K2 piloting it. You were sitting in the corner eating the crackers that you packed with you since you were always hungry. You thought you were being quiet and keeping to yourself, but Cassian obviously thought otherwise.

 “Could you stop chewing so loud.”

His irritated voice made your attention move to him. Was he serious right now? You weren’t even chewing loud! You decided to use this to your advantage however. If it was a war Cassian wanted, it was a war he would get.

“What do you mean?” You purposely take a loud bite out of your cracker, chewing loudly knowing it would piss him off. 

“Can you two not start a fight please, it’s only been 30 minutes.” K2 groaned, just wanting both of his friends to get along for once. “

It’s not me, she’s the one chewing like a child.”

“Really Cassian, is that the best you’ve got.”

“Well-yes!” He blurted out, not having enough time to think of a comeback. 

It was silent for a moment, both of you processing what Cassian just said. You don’t know what came over you, but all of a sudden you were laughing hysterically, clutching your stomach. Then you heard the most adorable sound, the sound of Cassian Andor laughing. This was the first time you’d ever seen him happy and you honestly liked this side of him, even if you only saw it for a few minutes. You would never admit that to anyone though. 

“Is this your strange way of getting along?” K2 asked hopefully, you hated to break his hope but you and Andor were not getting along. Not now and not ever. 

“Hardly.”

“Oh.” The droid looked down, obviously disappointed with your answer, but it was the truth, even if you shared that laugh with him, you and Cassian were still and always would be enemies. 


You decided to continue to ignore Cassian until it was necessary not to. The rest of the trip you spent making conversation with your favourite droid. When you finally arrived on Jedha everyone grabbed their weapons, preparing for whatever may be outside the ship.

“The plan for now is to scope out the area. Strategize how we can get the information and how tight the security is. K2 you’ll stay here on the ship, the last thing we need is someone trying to shoot you or reprogram you.” Cassian spoke with authority, it was honestly kind of hot. You shook your head at the thought. This was Cassian you were thinking about!

You nodded, waving goodbye to K2 and following Cassian out of the ship. “Let’s spilt up, that way we’ll cover more ground.”

You were quick to object to the idea since it was a stupid one. “Do you really think that’s a good idea? There are imperial droids and stromtroopers all over the place, it would be wise to stick together.” You protested whilst you both were moving from alley to alley, trying to stay out of sight. 

Cassian halted his movements, turning to you with an annoyed expression on his face. “Y/N I know we hate each other but could you just for once listen to me! Splitting up is the better option, we’ll cover more ground and-” 

His words were cut off however at the sound of a blaster. He looked up at you, your blaster pointing somewhere behind him. He quickly looked over his shoulder to see an imperial droid laying on the ground. 

“You were saying.” You couldn’t help the cocky grin on your face, knowing that you just proved your point. He turned back to you  a little shocked, obviously realizing that you were right. He couldn’t give you the satisfaction of winning this argument, so he just continued walking.

“Let’s get going then.” 

You didn’t hide your laughter as you followed after him. “What’s that Cassian? I thought we were splitting up, it’s safer you know.”


It was night and you were all back on the ship, getting some rest before the mission tomorrow. You were in your room, laying down in your bunk, tapping a tune and slightly humming along to the sound. The doors to your room slid open, causing you to sit up and stop your tapping. It was Cassian, unfortunately. What was he doing here?

He looked a bit uncomfortable, not really moving from his spot in the doorway. You were both kind of looking at each other, it was weird. He cleared his throat, trying to break the awkward tension.

“Uh, I just wanted to let you know that I’m-I’m sorry about earlier today. I should have listened to what you had to say and because of my stubbornness I could have got us both killed. What I’m trying to say is, thank you for saving us back there and i’m sorry for the way I acted.”

You were speechless, completely and utterly speechless. This was so unlike him, to apologize to you, let alone say thank you. You often thought of Cassian as a machine since he never seemed to show much emotion. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Cassian Andor?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at your words, scratching his head, obviously uncomfortable. “But thanks, for the apology, I appreciate it Andor.” You spoke honestly, sending him a genuine smile. He sent one back and awkwardly nodded his head.

“Well, night Y/N.” He left the room and you were left more confused then ever. 

You laid back down on your bunk, thinking about what just occurred a few seconds ago. Strange, but maybe Cassian wasn’t so bad after all? He did have a really cute smile too, one that you’d hope to see again. What was wrong with you? This was the second time today you’d thought Cassian was attractive. You shook your head, trying to rid your thoughts of the man and get some sleep.


Thanks @ly–canthrope for appreciating my fic, means a lot to see that people actually enjoy it :)

“hi… sorry to disrupt your lunch but could you please just pretend to be my date for a few minutes? this asshole outside keeps insisting that i should not be eating alone and i lied about being on a date because i’m pretty sure he’s a serial killer. i promise i’ll try to keep you alive if he decides to kill both of us in revenge.”

anonymous asked:

Can I have the 21 with Swazz please 😘

#21 “Why don’t you come over here and make me?”
I hear a knock on the door and rush to it, hoping it’s my package from Amazon. Upon opening the door, I instead see John Swift, my brother Nate’s best friend.

“Oh, it’s just you.”

“Am I that much of a disappointment?” he asks. Actually he wasn’t a disappointment at all, I’m kind of excited to see him. Ever since I knew what a crush was, I’ve had one on him. Sure, we were 3 years apart in age, but that didn’t stop me from liking him. And it definitely didn’t help that ever since I’ve turned 18 he’s been really flirty.

I shrugged. “Nate’s not here yet,” then headed back up the stairs to my room. Once I got to the door, I noticed him following behind me. “Can I help you?”

“Entertain me, baby girl.”

“That’s not my job. Go find something to do,” I say opening the door to my room and taking a seat at my desk.

“I already have,” he says with a smirk and mischievous look. He plops down on my bed, spreading himself out. Something hooks onto his hand and he lifts his arm. “Ooh, what is this?” Hanging on his wrist is my favorite bra. He lifts up the side and reads the label. “Black, lacy, and a little bit racy, huh?”

“Put that down!!” I yell.

Reluctantly, he sets it down back where he found it. “Did you buy that for me, sweetheart?”

“Ha! You wish,” I say casually, even though my heart is pounding.

“Is there a matching piece?”

“That is none of your business!” Okay, yes there is.

“Are you wearing them right now?” he asks.

Yes, I was. “Get out of my room, John!”

“You are aren’t you?”

“Maybe I am! Now get out!”

His eyebrows raise and his eyes widen for a moment in surprise, but then that troublemaker look returns. “Why don’t you come over here and make me?”

I huff and stomp over to my bed, ready to pull him off of it. But as soon as I grab his arms he overpowers me and pulls me on top of him. Part of me said I should roll off and get up and make him leave. But the part of me that’s been crushing on him since I was 15 said not to move a muscle. Can you guess which one I followed?

“Do you really want me to get out? ‘Cuz I will if you do. But I don’t think that’s the case is it?”

I shake my head slowly. He smiles and I feel his hand softly cup the side of my neck as our faces grow closer.

The first touch of our lips was calm and light. We were both testing the waters, seeing what could come of this, then we both pulled back and made eye contact before we kissed again. This time it was less gentle, more urgent. And there came the imaginary fireworks above our heads and the ball of heat in my stomach and beat of a drum from my heart. Every time our lips separated and met again it became more and more heated.

I rearranged my body a bit so I was straddling him and he groaned as I felt his hard-on against my core. One of his hands moved lower and cupped my ass while the other stayed higher and continued stroking at the side of my neck. He nipped at my bottom lip and I couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped.

I reached for the edge of his shirt, ready to take things further. Except, before I could get it fully off we both heard Nate’s voice.

“Swazz! Man, where you at?”

John sat up and tried to get his shirt back on and I scrambled off his lap, still trying to process what just happened. Nate would kill us both if he found out.

As I moved back towards my desk, he headed towards the door. “Upstairs!” he yelled. Then he ran back over to me and planted one last kiss on my lips and said, “I gotta go, but this is definitely not over.”

I smiled as he rushed back down the hall to make it look like he’d been in Nate’s room the entire time. I didn’t know what was between me and John yet, but one thought kept running through my head.

This should be fun.

Masterlist

——
A/N:
Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. I actually really liked this one, maybe just because I’m really into the whole ‘brother’s best friend’ concept. But yeah, that was fun to make. I’m think about doing a part 2. Idk yet, if it gets requested or this one gets a lot of notes I definitely will, if not, I might still, just depends on what else I have to do.

Speaking of parts, though. I’m gonna start writing part 2 to my other swazz imagine today, along with some of the earlier requests. I also updated my prompts list, just because I’ve been getting so many repeats lately. Now there are checks next to the ones that have been done. I’ll be adding to that list sometime this week btw. And I’ll probably make it just go by whoever requested it first gets it.

Peace,
Shay.

Our Little London Christmas

Summary: Dan and Phil celebrate christmas together with all their favourite traditions before going home for the holidays.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: none, it’s all fluff :)

A/N: writing?? what’s that??  I would not know because i have had literally no time rip :’)  but here’s a little christmas thing because who needs to finish bigger projects (certainly not me, ever haha wow i have so many fics on hold please help).  actually though, I hope you are all having nice holidays and that you enjoy this fluff <33


Phil had always loved christmas time.  When he was little he had looked forward to it all year and people had always told him that he would grow out of that excitement, but Phil hadn’t yet, and he didn’t really plan to anytime soon.

Keep reading

Disposable Phones and I Love You’s : Steve Rogers/Captain America

Originally posted by blackinjustice

Author’s Note: I’m so hoping that this gif is working. I can’t even keep my eyes open right now. I know it’s also somewhat short, but I wanted it to be right to the point <:

Word Count: 1,245

Angst (sorta) Fluff (sure) 



Request: Anon

Your stories are wonderful! Whenever you tost a new one, it just makes my day. I was wondering if I could send in a request? Steve has a girlfriend during WS and can’t help but worry about her while he’s trying to lay low. Thank you!

Dear anon babe, I am so sorry for taking so long on your request. I hope you see this and I really certainly do hope you enjoy it. I hope that your day is also going wonderfully


The fire, it consumed everything in its path. The once standing training camp was now burning its way to the ground. Along side it was the memories of a past life, ones with a once frail Steve Rogers and his dreams of fighting for his country.

Ringing from the explosions at Camp Lehigh were still burying into Steve’s head as he carried Natasha’s unconscious body away. He didn’t dare look back at the place he once held dear to him.

The track back to D.C. was going to be a treacherous one with Hydra constantly looking out for them. Yet Steve’s head was elsewhere, his safety was nothing to him as the only thought consuming his entire being was you. He was terrified that they would come for you, hurting you in unspeakable ways that the Devil himself would be terrified of.


The sun was just rising in the nation’s capital. Its warm amber rays coating the now waking city.

Natasha had awoken hours ago; insisted that she was fine and that she could walk on her own. Steve had warily agreed with letting her back on her feet. He still had to hold out his arm for her a few times as they made their way to the only place Steve could think of.

His scuffed up knuckles softly knocked at the windowed door. The two waited, still on high alert as if in any moment a danger were to come to them.

A click could be heard coming from the other side of the door. The man Steve had met only by jogging was the only person he could trust at that moment.

“Hey man.” Sam’s face was mixed with both worry and confusion.

“I’m sorry about this, we need a place to lay low.”

Nat looked up at Sam, “Everyone we know is trying to kill us.”

Sam looked between both Steve and Nat, “Not everyone.” He moved out of the way to allow the pair inside his home.


The cold water was only numbing the pain and worry he felt in his heart. Steve looked up at himself in the mirror, dirt smudges and frown lines was more than apparent on his face. A laugh almost made its way to his lips from how he looked, you would have scolded him by now with how filthy he was. Steve would then cheekily ask you to join him the shower, you in turn would smack him with a towel…

“Oh my god, Steve, you look awful!” You were laughing loudly as you watched Steve busy himself inside the bathroom.

He looked up from the shower rack filled with your shared bath essentials. “Well hello to you too. I just got back from training.”

“Was the training at a farm this time?” You joked.

Steve smiled and shook his head, “Where else would it be?” Your laughter filled the small space once more. “Would you care to join me, Miss L/N?” A small gasp came bubbling from your mouth, Steve’s face was redder than a tomato from his boldness.

“My, my Steve! Getting quite fresh there, are ya?” You grabbed a towel from the counter and whacked him playfully. “How about you start up the shower and I’ll get the fancy shampoo.”

“The one that smells like roses with lavender pieces in it?” Steve questioned your retreating body, he could hear another laugh from you before your answer.

“I’m offended you even questioned me!”

Steve!” His head snapped towards the voice right beside him. Nat stood there, worry flashing through her eyes as she watched Steve come back down to Earth.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, she only shook her head as she made her way out of the bathroom.

“I asked if you were alright.” He was silent as he followed her out, she took his lack of words as his answer. “Come on, Sam said he made breakfast.”


The trio sat in silence as they all picked at their food. Recent events of what happened plagued both Nat and Steve’s minds. Yet she new not only what had happened at the camp was not the only thing on his.

Sam watched Steve continually pick at his food, his head sometimes lowering to look at what he saw as a phone. “Everything okay?” When he didn’t answer, Sam looked over at Nat for help. She placed her fork down and cleared her throat.

“Steve, what’s going on?” She knew exactly what was going on, but Nat needed the conformation so she could handle it properly.

“Y/N.” She goes silent, now understanding immediately on why he was acting so strangely.

Sam quirks an eyebrow, “Y/N?”

Nat leans in and not so secretly whispered, “Y/N is Steve’s girlfriend, he’s worried that they might come for her…”

“You’re right, I’m worried they might come for her… Hell I know my Y/N, she can handle her own just fine. But I need to make sure she’s alright.” Everything is silent once again between the trio, they all are racking their brains for any solutions for the heart heavy captain. “I can’t use my phone or Nat’s, they can easily trace it and find out it’s me and where I’m at.” Steve explained tiredly.

Sam had shot out of his seat and raced towards what the two figured as his bedroom.

Nat and Steve sat there, hoping that for whatever reason made Sam race off was for their solution. Their minds eased slightly when seeing him walk out, a Blackberry in hand. “Now this, this is why I always keep disposables with me. They won’t be able to trace this, trust me. The girl at the front desk helped me with that.”

Steve clasped a grateful hand on Sam’s shoulder as he grabs the phone. Steadily he dials in your phone number. He prays to anyone listening out there that you would answer his call.

He was beginning to lose hope as the phone kept ringing. The last light of it almost died until he heard your voice come through.

“Hello? Who is this?”

Steve let out an audible sigh. “Oh god, you’re alright.”

“S-Steve?”

“Hey, honey.” He whispered.

“Oh my god, Steve! Where the fuck are you! I’m worrying myself sick here.”

Steve could hear your soft cries emit from the phone. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I can’t come home for awhile, I can’t really explain why at the moment. But I need you to leave and hide, remember where to go?” The only answer he was getting was your cries getting louder by the second. Steve looked at Nat and Sam for help, they only shrugged their shoulders back at him. “Y/N, honey?”

“I - I can’t leave you, Steve. I’ll help fight if you want-“

“No!” His voice had effectively cut you off, “I need you to be safe. Please Y/N, I’m not the only one worried. I need you to stay away as far as possible, I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you…” He could hear a few more sniffles emit from the phone.

“Fine, but you better promise me that you’ll come back in one piece, alive.”

“I promise.” There’s a silence between the two lovers, he’s contemplating whether or not to leave it at that or speak more. Steve makes his choice when speaking once again, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Steve. Now go kick some ass.”


ONE MORE REQUEST AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANSSSS 

It means I’ll reblog au’s and prompts and then the fanfic comes to us.

See you guys on the flip side <3

~Widow 

After still failing level 6 heli assaults in my 2nd run, I’m temporarily saying goodbye to 100% completion with my fem!boss. Here’s a compilation of the boss, Johnny and Troy’s comments regarding the boss’ messed up driving (that happened in my game) that synced to produce hilarious banter. Getting these out before making a dude!boss:

~The Boss’ Awful Driving Shenanigans~
*drive recklessly (bouncing up the humps)*
Johnny: Yeah~ I love going out for a drive.
Troy: Can’t we ever get someplace in one piece?
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Please, what did you expect?
Johnny: I missed this in jail.

*run over a person*
Johnny: Ooh! Ouch…got him.
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Didn’t think I had the balls?
Johnny: Yo, let’s back up and hit ‘em again! Hehehe.
Troy: Running people over should be a misdemeanor in Stilwater.

*run over jaywalkers*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Are you crazy or just stupid?
Troy: Don’t worry. It wasn’t your fault.
Johnny: You can do better than that.

*run over jaywalkers*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Quit fucking with me!
Johnny: People just have to stop jumping in the way!
Troy: Hahaha~

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) This just keeps getting better.
Johnny: Yo, you think they saw our faces?
Troy: FUCK! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) I could do this all day.
Johnny: They hate it when you do that.
Troy: I can’t be seen here! Go! Go!

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) We’re cleaning up this city!
Johnny: Ahhh, this is the fucking life.
Troy: Ahhh, this takes me back.

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) I’d start running if I were you.
Johnny: Run 'em off the road!
Troy: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.

*run over people then hit a lightpost*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Too easy!
Johnny: I dunno whose fault that was.
Troy: Don’t worry. It wasn’t your fault.

*run over people then hit a wall*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) It’s always something.
Troy: You never could drive.
Johnny: I think that coma did some permanent damage.

*run over people…and hit other stuff*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) You like how I did that?
Johnny: You’re fucking crazy! I love it~
Troy: Ahhh, some things never change.

*run over people…and hit other stuff*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Let’s have some fun!
Troy: Trying to get me killed?
Johnny: You’re gonna get us both killed!
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) *cackles*

*hit parked cars*
Troy: Try to be more careful.
Boss Alexa:  (female voice 1) I was waiting for a fight.
Johnny: Yo man, I’m not paying for that.

*hit parked cars*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Damn, that felt good!
Johnny: I’m not saying anything.
Troy: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.

*hit a moving car while peppering a target car with bullets*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Let’s get to work.
Troy: Police business! Outta the way!
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Kill everyone!
Johnny: I like the way you work.

*a car repeatedly hits the boss’ car instead*
Johnny: Thanks a lot, asshole.
Troy: Watch where you’re driving.
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Someone’s waiting to get shot.
Johnny: Ooh! Ooh! Want me to shoot him?

(my personal fave)
*run over people*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Don’t worry, it happens to everyone.
Johnny: BOUNCE, MOTHERFUCKER!
Troy: You gotta be kidding me.

Breaking Bad Sentence Meme (Season One)
  • "How does it feel to be a smart ass?"
  • "Like I said, no one is looking for you."
  • "That's right. Either that...or I turn you in."
  • "Listen, if you've gone crazy or something I mean, if you've gone crazy or depressed, I'm just saying that's something I need to know about. Okay?"
  • "Oh what, I can talk now?"
  • "What is his reputation for violence?"
  • "Well, um, he did try to kill us both yesterday, so there's that."
  • "Make yourself at home, why don't you?"
  • "God. I don't suppose you could kiss my ass?"
  • "He sells you pot?"
  • "Yeah, no shit. Thanks for noticing."
  • "So right now, what I need, is for you to climb down out of my ass."
  • "Can you do that? Will you do that for me, honey? Will you please, just once, get off my ass, you know? I'd appreciate it, I really would."
  • "I didn't ask for any of this!"
  • "Because you didn't follow my instructions!"
  • "Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch!"
  • "I love you, you little bastard."
  • "You know, you keep telling me that I don't have it in me."
  • "So you're not angry?"
  • "How do you mean? Angry? No. Live and let live, man."
  • "Whatever, man. I just want to go home."
  • "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."
  • "The soul? There's nothing but chemistry here."
  • "I have cancer. Lung cancer. It's bad."
  • "Who sent you? You wearing a wire? You setting me up?"
  • "Yeah, you know...what you call...a debrief? Maybe we could like...I thought we could debrief."
  • "Wow, that's...that's what you think we need, to debrief?"
  • "Seriously, I got dudes that would give their left nut for a little more."
  • "Right on, little bro! Making mad in-roads with the business community."
  • "Then why don't you just fucking die already? Just give up and die."
  • "Alright, I've got the Talking Pillow now."
  • "But...what I want...what I want, what I need, is a choice."
  • "Sometimes I feel like I never actually make any of my own. Choices, I mean. My entire life it just seems I never...you know, had a real say about any of it."
  • "No matter what happens, no more bloodshed. No violence."
  • "Cancer. You got it, right?"
  • "That's why you're doing all this. You want to make some cash for your people before you check out."
  • "Yeah. I mean, I used to until you killed him."
  • "I don't imagine I'll be here very long."
  • "Where...did that come from? And why was it so damn good?"
  • "A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place?"
  • "This is...This is like a...a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet. This is like, 'Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me.'"
  • "Yeah science!"
  • "And that'll cut through a lock? Because this is supposed to be one big-ass lock."
  • "Just remember who you're working for."
  • "Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?"
  • "Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?"
  • "Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up!"