trying to get over my fear of text

I don’t think people get what growing up with strict parents can do to you. I am so massively paranoid that my parents will invade my privacy and learn something I do not want them to learn and I will get in huge trouble. When my name is called there is always a moment of fear. I do not get short punishments and they often become permanent. I have my ass handed to me over making a B and told how I am not trying as I am crumbling under stress. I am told to get over my mental illnesses and that honestly it’s ridiculous to be scared of other people and to not be “so self absorbed”. I live in constant fear that I will be cut off from everyone and that I will become so fucking alone and it honestly is not something you should ever do to your child. I don’t get to go out with friends all that much and am to the point I’m scared to ask my parents for anything. It is hell and to be honest when I get freedom again I do not know how I will handle it. I want to live my life now, but I am not able to.

!!! Y O

rules: copy this into a new text post, replace my answers with yours and tag 10 people

Tagged by: @hades-no-daifuku Thank you! ^^ 

A - age: 17 to be honest I dont look like it., thats what a lot of people say. :’D 

B - biggest fear: Being alone, the dark, and talking to people that I dont know. I have really bad social anxiety trying my best to get over it.  

C - current time: 9:14pm

D - drink you last had: Apple Juice, classy I know. 

E - every day starts with: Dying, since I go to school. 

F - favourite song: It changes all the time. xD I’ve been digging Hyakuman Kai no Juchiimu. :’D 

G - ghosts, are they real? Yes, they are real. 

H - hometown: Somewhere that is far away from my friends. 

I - in love with: Takasugi Shinsuke. >////< 

J - jealous of: I’m not really a jealous type. Oh wait, never mind when my friends get 5 star characters in Fire Emblem Heroes. 

K - killed someone: Nope. 

L - last time you cried: When I saw the preview for the new epsiode of Gintama and Takasugi was finally going to be back into action. :’D I’m so pathetic. xD  

M - middle name: Elizabeth 

N - number of siblings: Only child. 

O - one wish: To meet my amazing online friends. ^^ @jeanii77  and @aobasdramaticalbooty

P - person you last texted: My best friend @meme-bean

Q - questions you’re always asked: “Can you draw me?” I nicely decline, but it gets annoying. 

R - reasons to smile: Friends, Family, Gintama, and Takasugi smiling. 

S - song last sang: Ahhhhhhhh…….. Everlasting Moon - Tsukigami Haruto (Its not like I’m obsessed with Koyasu Takehito’s singing voice or anything…..) More like humming and whistling to the song. I can kinda sing it, but his voice is just so deep. :’D 

T - time you woke up: 5:50 am I had to get ready for hell I mean school. 

U - underwear color: WHAT!? 

V - vacation destination: Japan, Switzerland, Denmark, and Italy 

W - worst habit: Playing with my hair and biting my nails. 

X - x-rays you’ve ever had: None, never broke a bone in body. 

Z - zodiac sign: Cancer. 

That was fun! Thanks again! :3

Tagging: @meme-bean @princeofviolet @shonenhop @ironpaladont 

A Shy Girls Guide to PUBLIC SPEAKING!!

I am an introvert. I tend to stay away from hanging out with my friends, going to parties and participating in class. On top of that I am EXTREMELY shy and I will not talk to anyone that doesn’t talk to me first. Public speaking as always been one of my weaknesses in my 19 years in life. I HATE talking in public or talking in general. This might sound very sad but I would rather text or email rather than talk in person or on the phone. But I have been trying to over come my fear of public speaking (if it will over come at all) by trying out new things like getting a job as a cashier and such. But here is the Shy Girls Guide to Public speaking. 

PREPARE

I know how you feel. Your teacher announces, “We are going to have presentations”, you freak out but try not to be, don’t even think that you have a fear of public speaking. Instead think of how you are going to present your topic confidently. Write down ideas on a sheet of paper and pick one that you are most confident on presenting to your class. Write detailed notes on your topic before you start making an outline. Make sure to include questions that student’s might ask you, answer them. 

So you have made some detailed notes. Now it is time to make an outline of what you want to say to your class. Pick out a few sub-topics for your topics and for each sub-topics, say a detail or two. Try to include the questions you thought about earlier in the details. If your professor allows you to write on index cards, write what you are going to say on them. DO NOT READ OFF THE CARDS! 

PRACTICE YOUR ASS OFF. Make sure you feel very confident. Try to memorize what you will say to your class. Practice in front of a mirror or record your self. Speak in a loud confident voice, loud enough you hear your own echo. Once you gotten all the memorization down, now it is time for body language. Don’t stand in one place, move around the front of the class room, walking slowly one side to another. Move your arms, use expressions in your face. Try to look at the eyes of the students, if you don’t wanna use eye contact, look at their forehead (that helps out a lot for me). 

SHOWTIME

Okay it is the day of the presentation, don’t be nervous, you practiced all week now it is time to show off your skillz. I know how it feels when the teacher calls out your name for your turn. Take a long deep breath, everything will be fine. Professors tend to be lenient towards the quiet ones so it is okay. 

Introduce yourself to the class and introduce the main topic. Don’t forget to talk LOUD! Be confident in your presentation because you worked hard, and you want that grade. The teacher will know if you worked very hard on a presentation, trust me. Most of the time the students aren’t even listening to your presentation, so make eye contact to the people that seem intrigued in your work. Occasionally give your teacher eye contact, I know it might be a bit scary but its just for a second. 

If you mess up, don’t get all panicky. Just correct yourself and keep going. Talk slowly or in a normal pace. Some kids try to talk super fast when they are nervous. 

THE END

Now you are done with the presentation, they clap, you go to your seat. Be proud of yourself that you’ve done the presentaion. It is the best feeling in the world. I find it impossible for you to get an F on something you worked so hard for, so don’t think you will fail. You can do it   

Detachment doesn’t mean I’m trying less hard. It just means that fears and emotions that used to torment and paralyze me no longer have the same power over me. Getting to this point hasn’t always been easy; it took me years to really learn to silence my mind. But as you move through your career and your life, you will have to learn that if you’re not what you do, then what you do has no business keeping you entertained at night.
—  Kelly Cutrone, Meredith Bryan