trying to figure out how that could be

What if there was a Bat-family sitcom?

Like, a parody sitcom, about the day-to-day lives of the Bat family, including Batman, Alfred, Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, Damian, Stephanie, Barbra, etc. Like, showing them in between cases, them training in the batcave, doing research on cases + the forsensics side of things, family drama, trying to hide the “family secret”, Bruce holding fancy Galas and the Bat kids getting into trouble at said galas. Over protective BatDad/BatSiblings, etc.

It could even cover comic events, like Jason coming back from the dead, or them getting Damian, etc, in a funny way, like Jason just walks into the Batcave and is like “Guys, I’m home!” (Just as everyone is trying to figure out who this “Red Hood” guy is) and everyone just freaks out “how are you here” “you died?!”…

Now that I’m thinking about it, this would be really fun as a cosplay series on YouTube, anyone interested lol?

Feel free to add to this.

anonymous asked:

Plz do an audio fic if a dance with death or the other one after you finished it??!! Ps I'm the same anon who suggested it and I'm soooo exited that your doing it. Your fics are soooo great and I wish I could write as well as you. Ok bye!!!!

i’m gonna do an audio fic of it sometime probably!!! rn im trying to read off shorter fics before moving on to longer fics bc the long fics are gonna take me,,,, a while to read, so im trying to figure out how to go about it

anonymous asked:

PLEASE tell us how vegetables are a social construct

so a long time ago humans were trying to figure out edible plant matter, right

and because they didn’t have fucking microscopes or anything they were like “okay we have to divide them in some way that is easy for us to figure out”

so they COULD have divided them up by like, color or some shit

like all the red things are called noogles and all the orange ones are called fuckips and all the yellow ones are called snarglebutts or whatever

but they didn’t

they divided them by taste, which makes sense if you’re trying to sort edible plant matter, the whole point is eating them so why not sort them by the most likely reason you need to know the difference between them

so all the sweet tasting things are called fruits and all the not sweet tasting things are called vegetables

except like other than that there’s no rhyme or reason to it at all??

like potatoes are roots and broccoli is a flower and pumpkins are fruits and celery are stalks

but we’re putting them together because they don’t taste sweet

and lemons are juicy and wet but not sweet but they’re fruit for some reason but tomatoes aren’t even though they’re also juicy but not sweet and carrots aren’t even though carrots can be sweet

meanwhile apples are genetically more closely related to fucking roses than they are to shit like blueberries but because they both taste good in pie we put apples and blueberries in the same group and roses are a different thing 

like, there’s a good reason why we sort plants this way, and that reason is “it’s easier to make food if you know vaguely what it tastes like beforehand,” and sorting plants by genetic family also makes sense if your reasoning is “i want to know what plants are related,” but they’re both sorting groups that humans made up and we could just as easily sort by color or shape if we decided that was an important thing we needed to know and that’s why it’s a social construct

i mentioned the recent confusion about my intimidating guns and the clever solution that i solved it with to steve, and he helpfully illustrated my success. 

i knit that sweater myself you guys, im very proud. 

4

Finally. A reason to live again.

2

new dwd info got my brain gears turning. wanted to draw my best girl cus I’m trying to figure out how she could possibly fit in 

hey ducks sure do have a lot of diversity in shapes, huh? sometimes an adult duck is still duck-shaped and sometimes they’re full-on human shaped, sometimes they have hair and sometimes they dont, and boy, it sure messes me up

please stop scrolling!!!

i was kicked out today. August 14th, 2017. I am a queer disabled individual with no income. I may have a friend that i am able to stay with but it will take a while to get there as its several states away. In the meantime, and for the future i could use some help for food and other essentials. Please anything helps. A dollar, 50 cents please. I am safe for tonight but i dont know how long i will be. im trying to figure out where to go and jobs i can get, but in the meantime i could really use some help. Anything and everything is appreciated, ive attached my pay pal link. Thank you, and if you have questions please message me. thanks again.

paypal.me/Curtis643
It Ain’t Me: Part 6

Jungkook x reader ft. Yoongi

Request: Can you make a fake text about how bf hears a rumor about y/n and decides to break up without even knowing the true facts

*This series did not have a name until this part so don’t get confused!*

Genre: Angst 

Words: 1.4K 

Part 5 | Part 7


The beer café was almost full when you entered. Looking around, you could see the usual customers already on their tables, chatting away about good memories. A few nights ago, you and Jungkook would have been a part of this as well, just sitting somewhere in the corner, giggling about stupid shit with fills and refills after chugging Budweiser.  You swallowed and took a deep breath before going straight past your usual spot in café to the bar stools.

It’s not like you hadn’t wondered why everything was happening. In fact, wonder was a massive understatement. You had sat in your room for hours trying to reach Jungkook, trying to convince him to meet you so you could try to unravel what happened, so that you could make him believe that whatever he had seen was false. Untrue. When all had failed you even decided to barge in his workplace, but you cracked. You couldn’t do it anymore. You had nothing on this. You were running around, crying, beating yourself up and for what? Why should you?

Talking to Seulgi had been the last straw. They were dating. Even after everything that had happened in the past week, you weren’t expecting this. He had forgotten all about you, or at the very least this entire situation was clearly not as difficult for him as it was for you. After talking to her, you made a conscious decision that it was over and it would remain that way.

“Ahem!”

You glanced up at the bartender, who was looking at you expectantly. Clearly, he was waiting for your order. You asked him to come back to you after five minutes and dialed Yoongi.

He didn’t pick up. Instead you felt a light tap on your shoulder and you turned around to find Yoongi standing behind you in his cap and mask. You gave him a small smile and gestured for him take the seat beside yours. Just in time the bartender came back to take your order and you ordered two pints of Budweiser, glancing at Yoongi for approval. He nodded yes. You took a big swig as soon as the beer landed in front of you.

“So,” You began, turning around in your seat to take a good look at Yoongi, who had now taken off his mask and his cap and was facing you as well. “What did you want to talk about?”

He shrugged, running his right hand through his messy hair to calm it down. “Just, you know, everything?”

You raised a brow in a silent question. When he didn’t answer, you said, “You want to elaborate on that?”

Yoongi sighed and ran his tongue over his lips. “I’m your friend too, aren’t I?”

You nodded. “Of course you are.”

“Then please ____, you should not be the one shifting out of the city.”

You took a much humbler sip this time. “So that’s what this is about, huh?”

Yoongi didn’t answer. He just looked at you with a slightly conflicted look in his eyes.

You smiled, sensing his discomfort. Instead of easing him out, you stayed silent. You eyes once again started wandering across the place, gauging people’s expressions as they sat with their partners and friends, some laughing at jokes of reunion, others relaxing and having low-key conversations.  You wondered how many of these faces were true. Were they really enjoying or was it just a front like yours?

“You know Yoongi,” You turned back towards Yoongi, who shifted his attention from his lap to you, and started. “Jungkook and I often visited this place.”

If he was surprised by the sudden change in the topic, he didn’t show it. Instead, he raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Really now?”

You gave him a recalling nod and continued. “We never sat at the bar though. We would always take one of the corners and chug beer after beer.” You mused.

“Always the corners?” Yoongi asked you looking around the place. “This seems like a pretty busy place. You couldn’t have gotten corners each time.”

“We did.” You smirked. “In fact, we made it a point to come in early and just grab any of the corner tables. We were so into it that even if both us had to use the toilet, one would hold it in and guard the table.” You smiled at the memory and continued. “Jungkook would stay back to guard the table and if I took too long to finish my business, which I did because it was always fun teasing him, he would bombard my cell with calls and texts begging me to come out fast but wouldn’t leave the table.” You laughed, and Yoongi laughed along with you.


“You really love him, don’t you?” He asked you as your laughter died down, giving you a sad smile. You returned it with one of your own.


“I do.” You humorlessly laughed and soon enough, it turned into a heartbreaking cry. Yoongi reacted immediately, getting off his stool and silently putting your head on his chest in a consoling hug. You grabbed his shirt from the front, trying to stop the tears from escaping your eyes but you couldn’t. The entire week, you had been alone, beating yourself up and crying your eyes out, wondering where you went wrong.  It was coming back to you. The few seconds after you’d realized that Jungkook wasn’t even going to speak to you and his decision was final, the helplessness you felt. It was all coming back to you.


“___, I’m so sorry.” Yoongi repeated over and over again, rubbing his hands up and down your back.


“No, you don’t understand!” You cried as you removed your head from his chest to look up at him, your hands still gripping his t-shirt. You knew it. You knew that your eyes would definitely be exhibiting your helplessness at that point but how could you stop? Someone was finally ready to listen to you.


“I was helpless.” You said between sobs. “I just sat there in my room Yoongi, trying to figure out what I could possibly do. Who I could possibly talk to but there was no one! I was completely and utterly alone! Hours, for hours, I just sat in my room trying to do something! Anything!” You broke down harder. “But there was nothing I could do!” Your grip loosened on his T-shirt as your cried harder, feeling every suppressed emotion being released in your tears.

Yoongi’s hands caught yours as they fell from his t-shirt and slowly he brought it back on his chest again, fisting your hands into his own. Your cries softened as you looked up at him but the tears were still falling down.

“You listen to me right now, ___. It’s not your fault. None of it, you get that?” He looked at you directly in the eye. “I’m sorry you are going through this but moving out of the city will not help you.”

You shook your head softly. “I have no other way-“

“No.” Yoongi cut you off. “You do. You deal with it. You get your life back together and you move on.”

You lightly scoffed as you look away from him. “It’s easier said than done, Yoongi.”

Yoongi nodded and tightened his grip around your hands making you look back at him. “I know. But I will help you.”

You looked at him as you contemplated his words, judging the sincerity in them. His eyes were unwavering and his grip on you hand was not fierce but reassuring. Even though you realized that much, you couldn’t help yourself when you asked him: “Why? Why would you help me over taking his side? You’re his friend.”

His gaze softened for a second thinking about his younger friend, who was like a brother to him, but his decision did not change. He sighed as he let go of your right hand and placed his hand on your head and ran it down to your neck. “He was wrong. And I told you already,” He said and you waited for him to complete his sentence. 

“You are my friend too.”

You looked at him and for a second, his determination was beginning to convince you. Maybe…just maybe, you were not alone in this. Maybe you could come out of this and get your life back together.

However, your calming heartbeat rose once again as your eyes fixed on two figures standing behind Yoongi, one of them looking at you with the same shock written on your face. Yoongi saw the look in your eyes and let of you to turn around and follow your line of sight. His gaze hardened as he looked at exactly what you were seeing right now.


They were here. He was here.

Jungkook was here.  And his hands were intertwined with his partner who was undoubtedly your ex-best friend.


Seulgi.



To Be Continued…


Much love, 

inferno-loop

A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings
  • Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water
  • Grover Underwood
  • Just everything he’s ever done
  • Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room 
  • “I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
  • When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch
  • Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy
  • That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!” 
  • When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps
  • The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him. 
  • The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom
  • Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn
  • Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me
  • You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here
  • Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke
  • When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him
  • The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny
  • The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children
  • Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’
  • The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg
  • Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles
  • “the real world is where the monsters are” 
  • The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.
  • When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic™ after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out
  • When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her 
  • Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month. 
  • Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God
  • Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her 
  • IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY
  • lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows
  • When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing
  • The entire bus scene oh my God
  • “I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS
  • Annabeth on a fury’s back 
  • the explosion. just. all gr8. 
  • When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number. 
  • “You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr’s don’t even get migraines!” 
  • Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader 
  • Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave
  • Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d
  • Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????
  • When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS
  • When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too
  • Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you. 
  • When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night 
  • “Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”
  • Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window 
  • When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start. 
  • “I am Echidna!”
  • “Isn’t…isn’t that a type of anteater?”
  • I HATE AUSTRALIA.” 
  • How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count 
  • ‘Lemme just, uh….jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’
  • There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river 
  • Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg
  • THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE
  • Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao
  • Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then…touched it herself lol
  • The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself 
  • Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!! 
  • Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol
  • Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!” 
  • THE FUCKING ZOO BUS
  • Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t
  • “What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”
  • “I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”
  • “Why?”
  • “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”
  • Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much
  • ‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’ 
  • “I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”
  • “Why can’t you put on of those on us?”
  • “It only works on wild animals.”
  • “So it would only effect Percy…”
  • “HEY!” 
  • When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx
  • Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters
  • When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao
  • Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol
  • CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN 
  • Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t
  • The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it
  • “We, uh…all drowned in a bathtub.”
  • Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit 
  • Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit. 
  • Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE 
  • ‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’ 
  • When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with
  • “what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y
  • when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO. 
  • When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem 
  • My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up 
  • ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover…I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM
  • My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day. 
  • The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero 
  • Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC 
  • Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been 
  • Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-
  • Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX
  • Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does
  • Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying 
  • A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did 
  • Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like…Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you
  • ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something…is Wrong.” this boy I s2g
  • Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was 
  • Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family 
  • I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight 
  • whoops
I Think I’m In Love With You

Author: ceruleanbucky

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

WARNINGS: SMUT, cursing, oral (male and female receiving), UNPROTECTED SEX, fingering, sexual tension, fluff, and overall sin.

A/N: guy’s I’ve updated twice in like a week and a half what is happening?!?! I mean, it’s not necessarily bad. Also, this fic is hella long, and I;m not going to lie, I’m really proud of it. Hope you guys like it! Part two of “Seven Minutes In Heaven” is coming next week.


You wake up with a start, breathing heavily and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. You tried to recall what it was you were dreaming about, but to no avail. You eventually give up, thinking that it was another nightmare.

You glance at your alarm clock, wondering about the time. Seeing that you have two more hours to sleep, you gladly roll over and go back to sleep.

When your alarm goes off, you feel even more tired than you were earlier. You still manage to drag yourself out of bed, and start your day. It’s then when you smell the bacon, and the coffee. Perking up at the idea of a good breakfast, you put on some more decent pyjamas, and head to the kitchen. Most people are still asleep, seeing as the sun is only just rising, so you wonder who is in the kitchen. You step in, and find Bucky cooking up a storm.

“Sad, or mad?” You ask as you walk in, knowing it’s one of the two. He looks at you with confusion, so you rephrase.

“Are you cooking because you’re sad, or because you’re pissed off? Because I know you, Bucky, and it’s only one of those two.” You smirk at your friend, earning a smirk back.

“Neither actually.” He side-eyes, adding to your curiosity.

Keep reading

Strip It Down

A Bucky Barnes AU

Character Pairing: Stripper!Bucky Barnes x Female Stripper!Reader

Word Count: 1,992 (whew, barely made it)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ Smut, male and female stripping, strip club scenes, sexual situations/penetration, dirty dancing, language. 

A/N: This is my submission for @bucky-plums-barnes 8,000 Follower Writing Challenge! Gen is amazing and deserves all the love in the world! 

I enjoyed writing Strip It Down WAY too much… I want to continue this…

Prompt: #26. “Well, my normal fee is $500, but seeing that it’s for you, I’m going to need it in advance.” 

The crowd loved Bucky.

Both the men and the women.

You didn’t blame them though. He owned that stage. His last set of the night was always his money maker.

Standing off to the side of the stage you peeked over the edge of the curtain at the screaming women that were vying for his attention. The sea of green bills that pooled around his feet was enough to pay your monthly rent… twice.

The low bass vibrated through the floors as Bucky shed the last piece clothing that was ethically possible. The screams, catcalls and hollers from the crowd drowned out the words to the song. You clutched your robe tighter to your body as you watched him move.

He moved like sex.

He crouched down on his hands and knees, prowling across the stage like a wolf. His hair was falling out of the bun at the back of his head, the loose tendrils framing his face. His back muscles bunched and stretched with each movement. He stopped and pumped his hips in time to the beat. God, to be underneath him and feel those powerful strokes.

Scanning the crowd again, you knew you weren’t the only one in the house tonight thinking that exact same thing.

Keep reading

The Girlfriend

Originally posted by tomshollandss

Fandom: Avengers/Marvel
Paring: Peter Parker x Reader
Summary: Peter Parker goes on a mission to bring back the Winter Solider, but ends up getting beat up really badly. As he’s passing out he calls out for his girlfriend, asking Steve to call her. Everyone is surprised since they had no idea Peter was dating anyone. Fluff, teasing and a little revenge ensues :)
Not really a request…I found this post and was just so inspired!
Warnings: violence, mention of blood, swearing…and a little long. Sorry not sorry lol

It all started with that damn red notebook. 

“We should’ve destroyed it.” Steve said, barely able to look up from the table top.  
“You should’ve kept Bucky asleep in Wakanda.” Tony said roughly, spitting out Bucky’s name. He may have forgiven Steve for their fight during the Accords, but he was far from forgiving Bucky for killing his parents.
“We should’ve known it wouldn’t be safe with SHIELD. Those guys are always having their headquarters either broken into or blown up.” Sam shot back, trying to keep the peace but catering to everyone’s shared distaste for the spy organization.

Keep reading

Fears Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Requester: atliefloresdaprimavera

Prompt: Reader is Bills gf, and she’s a famous book author and she’s terrified of clowns. They both support each other and are each others biggest fans so when he tells her he got the role she swallows her fear (he knows about her phobia) and helped him prepare for the role, but she didn’t want to go to visit on set; but the kids are her fans and she went to visit them one day later he tells on interviews he was scared for their relationship because of the role.

Warning: None 

Originally posted by deathtown

Originally posted by carlaconce

You hummed as you wrote on the computer trying to figure out what to write for your new book. You at the moment we’re having the worst kind of thing an author can go through—writers block. You had tried to start a new book but it just ended up falling apart before it could even take off.

Even the best authors such as Stephen King and J.K Rowling had writers block. According to most you were considered one of those truly best selling authors but you didn’t really think of yourself as one of the best even though that was how you met your boyfriend the Bill Skarsgård.

He was one of your biggest fans and you were of him and then one day during a book signing you met and it was pretty much love at first sight. You looked up from your computer at the tv show currently playing on the TV, Supernatural. You were on the episode with Sam and the clown.

Your heart raced incredibly fast when you saw the clown and had to look back down at the computer to avoid watching. You were terrified, TERRIFIED of clowns. When you were little your older brother and his friends thought it would be a good idea to fill the cellar full of antique life size clown dolls both made for Halloween (aka motion activated) and just for decoration.

And no, they didn’t just leave you in there for a few minutes and then just let you out they left you in there all night. You had to go to therapy for 2 years just to get over not suddenly shrieking at the top of your lungs for several minutes when you saw a clown on the tv.

Even if it was a fun colorful clown with painted dimples and mouth you still had a bad breakdown. You continued to stare at your screen and try to figure out how to even start the story.

Once upon a time?

Once upon a dream? (Reference!)

So a man walks into a bar…?

You groaned and slumped down tapping your bottom lip in thought. Several minutes had passed and you still didn’t write anything down. Your prayers were sort of answered when Bill came in.

“Hey!” He called from across the condo.

“Hey honey! How was your day?” You called.

“Amazing. You won’t believe what role I got.” He replied walking into the living room.

“Ooh is it popular?” You asked picking up your mug of coffee.

“Yeah you know that movie IT? I’m playing Pennywise.”

You instantly choked on your drink coughing and hacking and placing the mug back on the coffee table to avoid dropping or spilling it. Bill rushed over gently patting your back as you wheezed and felt the rest of the coffee go down.

“What’s wrong babe?” He asked.

“You…Pennywise…”

Bill remembered your extreme clown fear and frowned, “I know your afraid of clowns so that’s why I came to you before I could accept.”

“Uh…yeah, I’m perfectly fine about it. Just don’t think about coming home dressed as a clown unless you want me to beat you to death with a bat.” You warned.

He smiled and kissed your head before saying, “Thanks baby. I love you.”

“Love you too.” You sighed.

He walked off and you continued to stare at the blinking cursor.

So far the IT remake had been in production for a month now and Bill was doing a pretty good job making sure to not act like Pennywise when he arrives home. The first time he did slip up was with his creepy laugh.

You both were putting the dishes away and talking when he did the Pennywise laugh and your glass slipped and shattered onto the counter. Bill snapped his head towards you and saw you were staring at him wide eyed and paralyzed like there was a clown right behind him.

“Sorry I…”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m fine.” You said before walking off to get the duster.
L
Ever since then he’s been extra careful not to act or talk like his character.

3 months into production he had finally been able to meet the Losers kids. He talked to them when he was out of costume and when he mentioned you all their eyes lit up in a split second.

“Your dating (Name) (Last Name)???” Jaeden (aka Bill) asked.

“Yeah you know her?” Bill said.

“I love her book Deathly Dreams.” Sophia (Beverly) said her eyes twinkling. All their eyes were as they shared what books they loved the most.

“Can you please bring her down here? My life would be complete if I got her autograph and got to talk to her.” Wyatt (Stan) pleaded.

“Pleeeaaase?” All the Losers nearly begged making puppy eyes.

Bill laughed knowing he was out matched against the seven kids (both in and out of character) and calmly said, “Alright, alright. I’ll try to get her down here.”

They cheered and Bill frowned hoping you’d be up for it. Maybe if he just tried to avoid you in costume like he did with the kids you’d be fine.

Right?

Later that night he bit his lip as he came home to find you were sitting in front of your computer typing your book.

“Hey sweetie.” He greeted kissing your head.

“Hey honey.” You replied picking your head up for a lip kiss instead.

He eagerly did and sat down next to you gently rubbing your shoulders making you look at him concerned.

“What?” Bill asked.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“No your just looking tense.” He replied.

“Well how did filming go today?” You asked turning your head to continue to type.

“Good. I uh…talked to the kids…and they’re actually big fans of you.”

“Really?” You asked snapping your head towards him.

“Yeah. They were fangirling over you.”

“Awww that’s so sweet.” You giggled.

“Well…um…they also wanted to see you.”

Your smile faded slowly realizing why he was doing that. He wanted you to come onto the set to see the kids but…he would be in his character and…oh no.

“I mean you don’t have to we can just-”

“N-No it’s fine, I’ll go. I mean I kind of always wanted to see a movie behind the scenes with my own eyes. Maybe it’ll help me with this stupid book.” You said.

“Really?”

“Totally.”

“You sure?”

“Bill, I’ll be fine.” You assured him.

“Alright.” He sighed.

The next day you went in with him and got to meet the director Andy who was also a big fan of your books. He lead you over to where the children were for makeup and as soon as you walked in they recognized you and nearly tackled you in a hug fangirling.

“Oh my gosh your (Name) (Last Name)!” Jack (Eddie) squealed.

“Yes I am.” You smiled feeling like you were floating in space.

A famous horror movie director and 7 soon-to-be famous kids loved your books?

Who knew?!

You took selfies with them, signed their books, talked to them, until you needed to use the bathroom. Good news was you were in a warehouse so you didn’t have to do your business in the woods or in a porta potty.

Bad news was you were lost trying to find your way back from the bathroom.

You were sure you had gone too far deep into the warehouse and now were wandering around the creepy place looking everywhere. You couldn’t find anyone to ask where you were so you were alone, becoming scared, and confused.

Great.

You sighed as you continued to wander your footsteps echoing. You heard the sound of laughter and shuddered remembering that laugh. A clown’s laugh. It sounded so familiar to the one over a decade and a half ago when you were in the cellar. Your heart was racing as you tried to get away from the source of the laughs.

Fear was overtaking your mind as you hurried to find your way out looking left and right. The echoes only seemed to be getting closer but you couldn’t tell if it was you  or the thing releasing the laughter going closer.

You finally came into a room and your blood ran ice cold and your heart seemed to stop dead. Standing there was a clown. Your brain was so filled with fear that it didn’t recognize that it was Bill.

If anyone saw him really unless they knew they wouldn’t be able to recognize him underneath all the makeup. You surely didn’t. When the clown turned to face you your skin turned paper white and your breath was trapped in your throat.

“(Name)?” Bill said in his real voice.

He started walking towards you and you took several steps back before running.

“(Name)!” Bill called.

He watched as you ran as fast as you could which was faster than him.

“(Name)!” He called.

“Leave me alone!” You screamed.

You ran into a closet and slammed the door shut hyperventilating. You ran your fingers through your hair and curled up in the corner feeling incredibly dizzy and sick.

“(Name)? (Name) please, where are you?” He asked.

You weren’t able to reply back gasping too hard. It hurt to breathe. You heard the knock on the door and you shuddered, “(Name)? You in here?”

“Bill I’m so scared.” You sobbed.

“(Name), it’s just me. Okay. I’m dressed as Pennywise but I’m not going to hurt you. Okay?”

“O-o-okay.”

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“S-Sure.”

“(Name), I need a yes or a no…”

You took a deep breath before firmly replying, “Yes.”

The door opened and you squeaked and curled in on yourself. Despite this Bill walked over to you and knelt down in front of you.

“(Name), please don’t be scared. It’s me Bill.”

You slowly opened your eyes but you could still only see the clown. Your heart was pounding so fast your body had told you to get up and run but Bill was quicker and pulled you to his chest in a hug. You frantically panicked nearly hyperventilating as you tried to get away.

“(Name), it’s just me. It’s just me.” He whispered comfortingly.

He took off his silk glove and reached up to his eye before taking off one of the yellow contact lenses revealing his actual blue-green ones. You gradually relaxed and leaned onto his chest.

Under all that latex and makeup you could still smell his cologne letting you know it was indeed him. You wrapped his arms tightly around him taking slow breaths to calm yourself down.

“You okay now?” He asked after a few minutes.

You nodded and he smiled and nuzzled your forehead since he’d smear his lipstick.

“You actually helped me get over my fear of clowns.” You said softly.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss you. When he pulled away he couldn’t help but smile noticing your lips were tainted a light red. Bill placed his eye contact back on and you shuddered but otherwise didn’t run away.

“I love you.” Pennywise said softly.

“I love you too.” You giggled, “And your little clown nose too.”

“Yeah I brought my girlfriend who is like terrified of clowns to the set to ya know meet the kids and, um, she ended up getting lost and found me when I was deep in character as the clown and…yeah I scared her really badly. I thought she was going to break up with me but she didn’t…. I have the best girlfriend ever…”

Epilogue: I really liked this prompt idea cuz I’m terrified of clowns and like Bill is equal parts sexy and scary. Idk that’s just me. Thanx for reading! :3!

Dinner Fit for Champions

Context: Our players are currently stuck in the Shadowfell, trying to find food to sustain them while they figure out how to leave. They recently obtained the Alchemy Jug, so my co-DM, my boyfriend, was explaining to them what it could do.

DM 2: It can also create two gallons of mayonnaise-

Jay (our 8 year old Tabaxi Wizard): Oh, sweet, mayonnaise for dinner!

The entire party: JAY NO!

Jay: Jay YES!

3

5 min into meeting hanazawa teruki
(shigeo didnt want to do it, he was too afraid to drop her)

1/ 4-17

Spidey’s Got a Girlfriend?!

“I promise I’ll be there,” Peter spoke, and Tony over heard him on the phone. Tony leaned against the door frame to his office where Peter stood taking his phone call.

“Hey, I apologized for last time… I know… I can’t wait… I-I love you too. Bye” Peter hung up, a smile tugging at his lips. The boy looked absolutely love sick, it made Tony smile a little.

“Was that your girlfriend?” Tony asked as he walked in.

“Ah! Mr. Stark, how long were you right there?” Peter whirled around to look at Tony. Tony rose an eyebrow, his smile only growing.

“Not long. Tell me about the girl,” Tony sauntered into his office and sat behind his desk. Peter was absolutely red in the face and obviously looking for any way out of this conversation.

“What girl?” Peter played dumb.

“Come on, kid. You’ve got to be a better liar than that to fool me… unless it’s not a girl, which is fine. Tell me about them.”

Peter sighed and sat in one of the chairs on the other side of Tony’s desk. He was still obviously blushing, “She’s from my school, and we’ve been dating for a while.”

“How long?”

“Six months.”

“Jesus, I don’t think I had a relationship that lasted longer than six days when I was your age. How do you do it?” Tony say up, suddenly fascinated by the conversation. He thought maybe this was a two week thing, something casual, and the ‘I love you’ that was exchanged was premature and naïve. However after learning the time frame of the relationship he had to rethink that; maybe it was sincere.

“She’s really great,” Peter mumbled, still obviously embarrassed.

“Well where are you taking this great girl? And why haven’t I met her? Does your Aunt know about her?”

“Yeah Aunt May knows and we’re going to the art museum. She likes to make fun of the classics. And I guess you haven’t met her because I didn’t think you wanted to. ”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I dunno, you’re busy, I guess. And it’s just a normal thing, not a super hero thing.”

Tony suddenly felt kind of bad about that. He wanted to know these things, if only because he was nosey. At that moment, he decided the previous matters on which this meeting was called on was no longer important. He wanted to know all about Peter’s girlfriend, and this date they were supposed to be having. This was kind of big. First loves were important right? People married their high school sweet hearts all the time. Sure those marriages often ended in divorce but sometimes they don’t. Tony realized there was so much wisdom he needed to share with Peter. Were they being safe, taking the proper precautions so they didn’t ruin their future with a baby?!

“Okay, kid,” Tony inhaled sharply, trying to put his spiraling thoughts to rest, “Tell me all about this girl.”

Peter eventually had to leave to go on his date, but Tony just wasn’t satisfied with simply hearing about the girl. So he called in someone who understood the concept of trusting no one and treating everyone like they’re suspicious.

“Hey Natasha,” he spoke on the phone.

“What, Stark?”

“So Underoos has a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, her name is Y/N.”

“You already searched her up?”

“No Peter told me about her, the time you asked me to keep an eye on him while you were in Mumbai.”

“He just told you about her?!”

“He needed advice on what kind of flowers to get her. If it makes you feel better, I also did some background checks and things like that on her. She’s an average student, she’s a part of few little clubs, most notably she’s on the newspaper. She’s got some award winning articles too. I think she wants to be a journalist.”

“They’ve been together six months Natasha.”

“I know, tonight is there six month anniversary. They’re going to a couple of museums. They’re at the art museum right now.”

“… Are you trailing them?”

“Of course I am. This Y/N girl is great for him, I can’t let him screw it up.”

Tony was quiet for a beat, “I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and Natasha watched from far off  at the two teens. They held hands as they walked through the art museum. She pointed at a painting and said something that made Peter laugh. Tony put in an ear piece that allowed him to hear what the two was saying.

“I’m just saying, Daphne turned into a fucking tree,” Y/N laughed, “Ancient Greek mythology is fucked up.”

“She swears a lot,” Tony grumbled, he looked over to Natasha to see her smiling a little, “Natasha!” he chastised.

“What? It’s kind of funny.”

The couple kept walking. Y/N rested her head on Peter’s shoulder as they went to the next painting. It was of Sappho and her many lovers. Y/N read the description in front of the painting aloud.

“ Sappho and a close friend, huh?” she said sarcastically.

“Mmhm, just two gals being pals,” Peter agreed.

“Oh yeah, because I kiss my girl friends on the mouth all the time. No homo, dude.”

“Definitely not. Sappho was just a woman who was close friends with a lot of other women.”

“Yeah, nothing gay about that, dude. She totally wasn’t a lesbian.”

“Oh no definitely not.”

They were both starting to laugh, because the picture in front of them was so blatantly gay. Y/N continued on about how historians will go to any lengths to make things heterosexual. Natasha was trying to keep it together and not outright laugh at the things Y/N said. Tony was trying very hard not to instantly like Y/N, because he didn’t even know this girl, but he couldn’t help but to smile every time Peter laughed.  Peter was just a kid in love with her, and he so rarely embraced being a kid. He was trying to be more mature so he could be a better super hero, but these precious moments of youth were passing him by. He couldn’t help but to think Y/N was good for him. Y/N and Peter got to a particular sculpture in which she tried to mimic the pose the statue was in. It was admittedly a complete failure, but Peter tried to. He was no closer to matching the pose than she was.  They laughed at their mutual failure and continued on. They eventually left the art museum and got lunch together.

“She’s a good kid,” Natasha assured as they sat with their coffee al fresco across the street from the restaurant the two of you went in to.

“Well I didn’t think she’d be bad… just maybe not right for Peter. He’s a sweet kid, and people like to crush kindness when they find it.”

“This girl has been with him for six months, and do you know how many times Peter has cancelled plans with her to go save someone in need. She doesn’t even know he’s Spider-Man. She just trusts that whatever he’s doing is important… so if anyone is going to get hurt in all of this… it’s probably her.”

“How many times has he cancelled.”

“14,” Natasha over articulated then took a sip of her coffee.

“Jesus,” Tony sighed.

“Yep, and she’s still here.”

“He should tell her.”

“I think so too, but he’ll only take so much advice from me. But you know how much being a superhero can strain on a relationship, maybe he’d take the advice better from you.”

Tony turned his head and watched as Y/N pulled out a box from her purse. He listened in on their conversation.

“I know we both agreed not to get each other presents until our year anniversary, but I saw this and I thought of you,” Y/N spoke.

Peter went to speak, obviously about to chastise her for getting him a gift but she held up a hand to stop him.

“I didn’t spend a dime on it.”

Peter opened the box and a smile took over his face. It was a super old polaroid camera that 1977 would soon be calling for.

“You know now that I think about it… that’s probably worth a lot of money,” she spoke offhandedly, “But I don’t use it anymore, and I know you’ve been collecting cameras so…just promise me you won’t sell it.” she shrugged again. Tony could tell she was trying to seem casual about the gift, but she’d probably spent days trying to figure out what to get Peter.

“Of course I’m not going to sell it. How did you just have this?”

“It was a gift from my grandma,” she sighed, Peter motioned to give it back, “No, you keep it. I never use it, and my grandma would have wanted someone to use that camera, and love it the way you love the rest of your cameras.”

“… I will,” he gave her a soft smile. He put the camera’s strap around his neck. He then reached into his own pocket to get a small box.

“Looks like neither of us can follow directions,” Peter smiled ruefully as he slid the box to her.

“God dammit, Parker. I wanted to be the master gift giver this time,” she joked as she took the box. She undid the bow around it and opened the box. She looked up at him, confused by the content of the box, or rather surprised.

“Pete.”

“It’s a uh… a promise ring,” Peter was red again, “Not to get too intense or anything… it’s just that I know it bothers you that I cancel a lot… even though you don’t say anything about it. I just wanted to show you that I really do want to keep you forever.”

“Oh god that’s so sweet, I’m gonna throw up,” Natasha groaned.

“Jeez, who raised this kid.” Tony complained looking away from the scene he thought to be cringe worthy, because of course that was too much for a high school relationship. It was entirely too much.

“His aunt is a hopeless romantic.” Natasha explained.

“You’re gonna make me cry, Pete,” Y/N spoke and as she did she seemed to already be dabbing tears from her eyes.

“Oh wow, she’s into it,” Tony said surprised by the turn of events. Peter pulled his own ring on as Y/N put on hers. Y/N leaned over the table and kissed Peter. It wasn’t one of those long winded kisses that Rom-Coms glorify, it was sweet and simple.

“Ew this is too sweet. I think I’m getting diabetes just from watching it,” Tony complained but he didn’t look away. As Y/N sat back on her side of the booth, Peter put his camera up and snapped a picture of her.

“Pete,” she complained.

“I want to remember this moment forever,” He explained as he pulled the picture from the little slot and shook it absently.

“Yeah but I’ve still got tears in my eyes,” she laughed a little. Peter smiled as he looked down at the slowly forming picture.

“You look beautiful,” Peter assured turning the picture toward her.

“We’ve got another museum to go to, silly boy,” she reminded, “We can’t spend forever here.”

Tony came back to himself at her words. He and Natasha should go. They should allow Peter the youthful innocence of his first love without prying eyes.

~Mod Lillian