trying to catch up with my dream

Bridges that Taylor Swift actually created

hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest…

and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you 

i’ve found time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you’re supposed to be…

and there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me, just like i always wanted, but i’m so sorry…

and the saddest fear comes creeping in, that you never loved me, or her, or anyone, or anything yeah

and for the first time, what’s past is past..

this is falling in love in the cruelest way, this is falling for you when you are world’s away…

call a cab, lose my number, you’re about to lose your girl…

and what do you do when the one who means the most to you… is the one who didn’t show…

this is a state of grace, this is the worthwhile fight, love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right…

you took the time to memorise me, my fears, my hopes, and dreams i just like hanging out with you all the time…

two headlights shine through the sleepless night, and i will get you i’ll get you alone, your name has echoed through my mind and i just think you should think you should know that nothing safe is worth the drive and i will follow you follow you home…

we made a quite a mess babe, it’s probably better off this way, and i confess babe, in my dreams you’re touching my face, and asking me if i wanna try again with you, and i almost do…

distance, timing, breakdown, fighting, silence, train runs off its tracks, kiss me try to fix it, could you just try to listen… hang up, give up, for the life of us we can’t get back…

but i took your matches before fire could catch me so don’t look now… i’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town…

my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again, these are the words i held back as i was leaving too soon, i was enchanted to meet you..

time turns flames to embers, you’ll have new september’s, every one of us has messed up too…

and i hope the sun shines and its a beautiful day, and something reminds you you wished you had stayed, you can plan for a change in weather and time, but i never planned on you changing your mind…

will you take a moment, promise me this, that you’ll stand by me forever, but if god forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye, if you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name, tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how i hope they shine..

remember when you hit the brakes too soon, 20 stitches in the hospital room, when you started crying baby i did too, when the sun came up i was looking at you, remember when you couldn’t take the heat, i walked out i said I’m setting you free but the monsters turned out to be just trees, and when the sun came up you were looking at me…

you were all i wanted, but not like this….

you’ll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burnin it down, someday when you leave me i bet these memories will follow you around..

remind me how it used to be, pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks, and say you want me….

your smile, my ghost, i fell to my knees, when you’re young you just run, but you come back to what you need…

now that I’m clean, i’m never gonna risk it…

i reached for you but you were gone, i knew i had to go back home, you search the world for something else to make you feel like what we had, and in the end in wonderland we both went mad…

Morgan Rielly - Superman

Originally posted by kasimirkaskisuo

Request : “  Do you think you can do one with Morgan rielly where he has “dad reflexes” with your baby? It’s like if you search dad reflex compilation on YouTube you’ll see what I mean I’m not a very good explainer I’m sorry “

It’s perfectly fine, I looked it up just to make sure I knew exactly what we were talking about. 

Note- this one may be a bit on the shorter side, hopefully you enjoy regardless!

Warnings: None

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Perfectly Fine

Originally posted by dean-winchester-crush

Request: Could you do a dean fic where he saved the reader on a case long ago and they’ve been dating since. But then on djinn hunt dean gets captured and put into the dream world and while their he finds the reader. She’s living an apple pie life with another guy and two kids. When the reader and Sam saves dean from the djinn he feels guilty for pulling her into the hunting life. The end like an angsty/fluff mix where the reader promises she wouldn’t want that life. 

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,100ish

Warnings: none

A/N: Angst & fluff? This definitely leans to one of those…

Keep reading

happy valentine's day, wolfstar shippers ♡

the whole room is decorated with magical heart-shaped confetti that floats down like snow.

sirius picks some out of his cup with a frown while the witch on the radio sings something about her cauldron full of love that he’d really rather not think too deeply about.

he throws a side-ways glance at the reason why they’re here - james, sat in the next booth, eyeing a certain redhead who’s stood at the bar, ordering a cup of tea.

sirius wishes james would get a move on so he and remus - his “back-up so it doesn’t look like I’m desperate for a date” - could get out of there and find somewhere more secluded.

remus has a smear of chocolate in the corner of his mouth that he’s positively aching to kiss it away.

lily starts looking around the café for one of her friends to sit down with and james fidgets in his seat, but doesn’t get up or wave her over.

sirius narrows his eyes at him, finally turning back around with a sigh when james pays him no attention.

“merlin, i bloody all hate this romantic sap.”

remus grins, licking the cream off his fork. “yet you agreed to come along to madam puddifoot’s, with me, on valentine’s day.”

sirius makes a show out of rolling his eyes and shrugging. “yes, well, you bloody love that chocolate cake.“

remus gives him a small smile. “hmmhm, it is some bloody good cake. sure you don’t want to try it?”

sirius takes another sip of sugary tea. “no, all these straight couples snogging here have permanently ruined my appetite.”

remus bites back a grin and kicks him fondly under the table. “you know, if you really think it’s so awful, you could’ve let me accompany james on my own. he did say one back-up was enough.”

sirius snorts. “what, and let some bird chat you up? you’re dreaming, lupin.”

he catches remus’ foot between both of his, watching the blush rise into remus’ freckled cheeks.

remus leans in as far as he dares, breathing a flirty “only of you, black” into sirius’ ear.

… to be honest, sirius is quite content with valentine’s day at this horrible romantic place as long as he gets to spend it with the curly-haired chocolate junkie in front of him.

QUESTION: what keeps you up at night?

A) you race for the skies and get left behind,
wings buckling.
there is no one waiting to catch you.

B) you have known how to swim for thirteen years,
over, under, kick, breathe.
you also know that if you expel all of your air,
you can finally sink.

C) at least icarus had a story to tell.

—  but the worst dreams of all are when you fly
Elliot x Reader: Thank You Sir

Originally posted by ramibabe


Request: The way you write dom Elliot is just.. holy shit so good!! A fic with some heavy choking and just general rough sex would be A+ tbh

A/N: Thank you babe!!! This request was A+ tbh, love me some heavy choking and rough sex so I probably got carried away with this one. ENJOY LOVES

(This was kind of a part 2 to yes sir?? I just thought it would carry on nicely from there.)

Warnings: Breath play, rough sex, daddy/sir kink, the usual. Idrk what came over me during the creation of this particularly nasty piece.  

Since the evening you and Elliot first had sex, things had been different. He was more comfortable around you, more open, casual touching was now something he was slowly becoming at ease with. It seemed the experience had melted away a lot of his insecurities regarding your relationship, although he was still awkward and often quiet.

The subtle improvements were welcome ones, but your favourite improvement was the texts you’d receive from Elliot while at work.

Thinking about you. Come over after work.’ You would blush like a schoolgirl, and for the rest of the day he was all you could think about. No one could make you cum like Elliot did, no one could make you see stars like Elliot did, and no one could leave you in the heavenly state of satisfaction that Elliot did.

He explored different ways of tying you up, varying the kinds of knots he used and restraining you in delicious new positions. Sometimes he used toys, sometimes he simply utilized his sinfully talented mouth and hands. You’d had sex in just about every part of his apartment, minus one place. His sacred place. The place you wouldn’t dare touch, let alone have sex in.

His computer desk.

But there was one big problem with this unspoken restriction. The fact that it was forbidden in a sense only made you want to do it more, made you want to desecrate it, tie filthy memories all over it in the same way you had the rest of his home. However, you had no idea how to propose this to Elliot. You assumed since he’d never suggested it himself, and his protectiveness over that desk, that he would be against it.

The part of you that deeply respected Elliot’s personal and private space was fine with it and understood, but the part of you that needed Elliot anywhere and any way you could have him desperately wanted to ignore the former. You resigned yourself to the conclusion that you’d never know until you plucked up the courage to ask.

In fact, you were going over to Elliot’s apartment tonight. The pair of you planned on getting takeout and spending the night together. You decided you would gauge his mood, maybe ask him depending on how relaxed he seemed. It was tricky territory, and the thought of him getting mad made you nervous. You were never sure what exactly would make him angry, but you’d seen him furious before and did not want to be on the receiving end.


Your shift drags almost painfully, just as it always does when you have plans to see Elliot. You check the time obsessively, hoping a significant amount of time will have passed, until the golden hour arrives. Five o’clock. You’re a little shaky, having spent most of your time at work running over scenarios in your head of how Elliot might receive your proposition.

Despite this, you pack up your things, stop by the employee bathroom on the way out to check your makeup, then leave the building. You spend the entire subway ride fidgeting, getting turned on at the mere thought of what was waiting for you at the end of it. Elliot has a hold on you that you’ve never experienced before. He could cross your mind innocently and have your thighs clenching.

You left the underground and powerwalked to Elliot’s apartment. You’d dressed nicer than usual to work; you were feeling confident. Your hair done just the way that frames your face best and your favourite office outfit that fits you so well it makes your colleagues do a double take.

Once in the lobby of his apartment building, you take your heels out of your bag and change back into them from the flats you use to commute. Only then do you ascend the stairs, ready to tempt Elliot for all you were worth. Your nerves resurface when you reach his apartment door.

You nudge the door slightly and find it unlocked, you smile to yourself. Taking a breath, you push the door open and walk in.

“El?” You call out.

“In here.” His low voice responds. Your footsteps are slow as you approach him, to your delight, he’s seated at his desk typing away.

You make a daring move, resting your hands on his shoulders. Hovering them above before actually placing them on him so as to warn him, to give him a chance to refuse the contact. Your chest warms at the way he leans in ever so slightly into your hands.

“Hard at work?” You ask, the smile audible in your voice.

You see the side of his cheek pull back in a half smile. He finishes whatever it is he’s typing and turns to look up at you. You watch as his eyes rove appreciatively down your body. He wets his lips subconsciously.

“You look good.” He comments.

“I might have made a little more of an effort today.” You tease.

“Why’s that?” To someone who didn’t know Elliot as well as you do, it would appear he hadn’t got the hint at all, but you knew he was playing along. It excited you.

“I had an important meeting today.” You smirk. He cocks an eyebrow.

“Whoever it was with was lucky.”

You round his chair, going to stand in front of him. You lean against his desk experimentally, crossing your legs at the ankles and placing your hands behind you. You gauge his reaction, he seems more occupied by you than you touching his desk.

“He’s a pretty influential guy. Good looking too.” You explain, enjoying this little roleplay the two of you have going on.

“I’m sure he thought the same about you.” Your thighs clench at this.

“I might have even made a move on him if the circumstances weren’t so professional.” You flirt.

“I doubt he’d have turned you down, regardless of professionalism.” Elliot’s words were such a contrast to the monotonous voice he said them in, the ambiguity of his manner of speech was strangely exciting.

“Oh really.” You muse, uncrossing your legs so that your skirt hiked up a little. You spot the way Elliot’s hands twitch, as if resisting the desire to grab you. “Maybe I should have in that case.” You look Elliot in the eye, urging him on. He reaches out, hesitantly to begin with, then grips your thighs tightly.

“We could get into trouble for this, Mr. Alderson.” You whisper.

“I don’t fucking care.” He growls, his arousal bringing on the dominant persona he adopted during all your sexual altercations. His hands are trailing up your thighs, maintaining an intense gaze on your body at all times. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“All fucking day.” You groan. His blunt nails suddenly dig into your skin.

“I don’t appreciate that kind of language from my employees.”

“I’m sorry sir-“

“Get on your knees and show me you’re sorry.”

It’s almost as though his words control your body rather than your own decisions; you slip down from the desk onto your knees. You undo the button on Elliot’s pants, unfastening them eagerly. His half-hardened dick comes free, right into your waiting hands. You waste no time in putting him between your lips, tasting his intoxicating flavour.

As your head rises and falls on his groin, you catch sight of the way he white-knuckles the arm rests of his chair, short breaths escaping his lips as you suck.

“Mm fuck.” He groans, wrapping his fingers in your hair, ruining its perfect style. But you couldn’t care less, you want him to ruin you tonight.

Just as you’re speeding up your rhythm, he yanks you off him and throws you to the floor. You’re a little disorientated, but unhurt. You know Elliot would never cause you harm.

“Get the fuck up.” He orders you. You do so, with an obedient ‘yes sir’. “Sit on my dick.”

You had to restrain yourself from clapping with glee, you were going to fuck Elliot in his computer chair. It was a little ridiculous, but it was your dream come true. You hike your skirt up, then move to pull your panties to the side but Elliot stops you.

“Did I tell you to do that yet?”

“No sir. Sorry sir.”

You rest your hands either side of his keyboard, trying to catch a glimpse of what he’s doing in the reflection of the dark computer screens. He feels up the globes of your ass, before pulling your panties down.

“Step out of them.” You comply. “Now take a seat.” Again, you comply.

You lower yourself oh so slowly down onto Elliot’s cock, clenching your walls around him. They were so slick that he slid in with virtually no trouble, the pair of you moaning in unison. He pulled you back, left hand tight on your chin and the other sliding up, under your shirt to grope your breasts.

“What do you say?”

“Thank you sir.”

His left hand dragged from your chin down to your throat, and your heart began to race with excitement, you knew what he was about to do.

“Move.” He murmurs in your ear, and you do just that. You begin to bounce on his cock and his hand tightens around your neck.

When you go down, he thrusts up, creating a deliciously forceful friction against your g-spot every time, within minutes you’re already close to cumming. From your vantage point, every time you go down you’re able to catch a glimpse of Elliot’s face in the screen. His expression when in the throes of passion is fucking stunning. His furrowed brows, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth, his eyes watching you relentlessly.

And that’s when your mind flashes with an image that sends a metaphorical lightbulb dinging above your head.

“Sir, can I ask you something?” You say breathlessly, struggling a little to get your words out with his grip so tight around your throat.

“Anything.” He exhales heavily, continuing to thrust into you with unforgiving force.

“Can I… Can I turn the camera on?” You ask, nearly whispering. Elliot’s pace falters, your request obviously taking him off guard.

“You know how I feel about that stuff, Y/N.” Elliot growls, still not stopping. You do know. He reminds you every time you hint at sending him dirty pictures. But he doesn’t know how you feel.

“I know it’s dangerous, but just think. You’re all alone, I can’t stay over and you’re horny. You just have to turn your computer on, press play and you can watch yourself fu- screwing me.” You must sound ridiculous, bargaining with him in such a strained voice, crying out between words.

You can’t tell if he’s mad, in agreement or what, he just continues fucking you. His dick sending your cunt into overdrive. You’re painfully oversensitive at this point, your climax coming very soon. And this could be the pushing point.

“Sir, don’t you want to get me cumming all over your dick on camera?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, turn it on right fucking now.”

Elliot’s voice is a mixture of frustration and desperation, reaching around you to turn the monitor on and get the camera software up. You help him out, ripping the piece of tape covering the camera off and clicking record.

“Now you better cum harder than you’ve ever fucking cum before. Give daddy a show.” He mutters, he sounds so furious and it only serves to turn you on more.

Enough to send you spiraling into the hardest fucking orgasm you’ve ever had in your life. All Elliot’s rules for this encounter go out of the window.

“Holy fucking shit!” You scream as you squirt cum all over his lap.

“Just like that you dirty, little slut.” Elliot snarls, his hand returning to it’s rightful place around your throat.  

“I’m your dirty, little slut, daddy.” You cry, actual tears rolling down your cheeks from the intensity of your elation.

“That’s fucking right. You want daddy’s cum now?”

“Yes please. Please daddy, shoot your cum inside my pussy.” You encourage him, rocking backwards and forwards on his cock for friction.

Suddenly, Elliot grip on you becomes painfully tight, making you choke. You can feel his fingertips bruising your tits.

“Ah fucking take it.” He cries out, hips pistoning into you erratically. You can feel him emptying himself inside you, painting your walls creamy white.

You manage to recover enough to click the stop button on the recording. You sigh in satisfaction, leaning back against Elliot.

“Regret it?” You joke.

“I’ll decide once I’ve watched it.” He chuckles.

Thunderstorms (Ethan)

Summary: It’s thunderstorm-ing in the middle of the night, and you lay in bed next to a sleeping Ethan, thankful for your relationship.

Word Count: 512

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: I came up with this little blurb idea while it rained for almost two weeks straight here in my town. I hope you enjoy. Requests are open!


The weight of Ethan’s arm is heavy on your chest, but he’s sleeping so peacefully beside you that you wouldn’t dare to try and move him. His breathing is slow and even, and during the lightning strikes you catch glimpses of his unsuspecting face: pink lips slightly parted, eyeballs rolling under his closed eyelids, eyelashes dark and full. He’s dreaming, you’re sure. If only you could get inside his head and see the things he sees at night…


The sound of the thunder causes Ethan’s whole body to twitch, and you find yourself being pulled closer to him. The pads of his fingers press themselves farther into your waist as you inhale, taking in everything you smell: Ethan’s sweaty musk, the lingering remains of the perfume you spritzed on yourself before showing up at his doorstep, and the clean, earthy aroma the wet soil outside of the apartment emits. These scents are now always going to be a part of this memory, and you smile to yourself knowing that no one else can have them. They now belong to you, and you alone.

Pitter patter, pitter patter…

The steady rainfall echoes off the roof as you begin to draw circles on the bedsheet with your nail. The digital clock on the end table next to you reads 3:27 AM, but you’re in no rush to sleep. The dead of night is your friend, and it’s during the quietest hours of the darkness that you produce your best art, music, literature, and more. You’ve always had creative tendencies, and while that’s what initially drew Ethan to you, your gentle heart, great tenderness, and amazing capacity to love has been what’s made him want to stay.


Ethan stirs next to you and grumbles incoherently. You shush him and shift onto the opposite side of your body to face him directly. He smacks his lips together and his eyes flutter open. You greet him with a warm smile.

“Did the storm wake you?” he asks groggily before glancing at the window.

“No, no, I’ve been up for a while,” you reply, keeping your voice low.

Ethan sighs and places a hand on your cheek. “Ya know, this little thing called sleep is actually good for you.”

You place your hand over his, snuggling up to him until the tips of your noses touch. “Thanks for the reminder, darling. I’ll try to get some now.”

“Mmm… Ok, good. I’ll try to get some with you.” His response causes you to giggle while his eyes fall heavy.

After a couple of moments, he grumbles again, and you search what little you can see of his face to ensure he’s alright.

“Y/N?” Ethan slurs, eyes still closed.


“You know you’re safe here with me, right?”

This question sends a kind of warmth through your body, and it takes you a couple of seconds to gather your thoughts before responding. You weren’t sure if you could love Ethan more than you did right here, in this moment.

“Yes, E,” you exhale. “I know.”

Misconceptions-Chapter 5


Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Natasha x Bucky, Platonic Tony x reader.

Warnings: ANGST. Pregnancy, violence, insecurity and self-loathing, Mutant reader (powers similar to Jean from X-men with a little immortality thrown in) smut. Tiniest amount of fluff

Originally posted by luvinchris

moye serdtse-my heart


His screams fracture the dream your having, searing into your mind, you have no defense against it, you sit bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily trying to pin point the danger, your sleep hazy mind taking its sweet time catching up with reality, it takes you a minute to realize the screaming is coming from Bucky’s room, you scramble out of bed, not bothering to find your pajama pants, you can feel his terror in your mind, seeping into your every pore as you run down the corridor to his bedroom, you slowly open the door, your heart shattering at the sight before you, Bucky’s back is arching off the bed, his hands fisted into the bed sheets, sweat pouring off him in waves, small whimpers leaving him in between screams, you know better than to approach him, instead you stand at the foot of the bed and gently call into his mind “Bucky, you’re dreaming” he relaxes slightly “moye serdtse, come back to me, you need to wake up” he gasps, one final scream leaving him as he flies out of bed into a defensive position, his eyes scan the room, landing on your form at the edge of the bed “I’m not going to hurt you Bucky, Take a deep breath” you say calmly, he closes the distance between you in two short strides, pulling you fiercely against his chest, he sobs into your hair “don’ please, don’ do that again, you can’ do that again, I need ya, please” you don’t bother asking him what he’s talking about, he’s not going to tell you, he never does “shh Buck. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I promise” his hold on you tightens, “stay” he pleads “stay, I sleep better when you’re here” he’s staring at you with a look you can’t decipher “yeah buck” you reply “I’ll always stay with you”



“you have a baby” Bucky dumbly states “Where’s Tony?” you reply numbly making shushing noises at Adriana, “you have a baby (y/n), why do you have a baby?!” He asks, voice climbing with every syllable “” you spit out through clenched teeth “you left. In the middle of the FUCKING NIGHT AN’ YOU CAN’ EVEN TELL ME WHY THERES A BABY STRAPPED TO YA CHEST” oh man he’s mad. Oh shit he’s beyond angry “can you keep it down James? You’re scaring her” you hiss as Ari starts to wail “I do not owe you an explanation James, in fact I don’t owe you a single damn thing, so where. Is. Tony” you spit, “no, ya aint runnin’ out on me again doll, you an me are gonna discuss why there’s a child strapped to ya and why you left me. Right now,” he replies, calm, angry Bucky is not a good Bucky.” Left you? I did not leave you James, there was no us, you made that abundantly clear when you started dating Natalia, when you told me I was nothing but a mistake” you falter “so you can shove any notion of an explanation up your ass because you aren’t getting shit from me” he groans “look kitty, I know I hurt ya, I was a fuckin’ idiot an I’m sorry I really am, I tried ta talk ta ya but you would-“ “hurt me?” you cut him off “no James what you did was so far beyond the realm of hurting me it’s ridiculous” you whisper “you broke me James, and there isn’t anyway I’m coming back from that” he stares at you stunned as you push past him “and if you ever call me kitty again I will rip your throat out. With my teeth” you add as you make your way to Tony’s lab.

Bucky fucking Barnes your fuming, furious, your hands are shaking, Ari is screaming bloody murder as you unsuccessfully try and sooth her, your running through every curse word in every language that you know, you’re covered in blood, running high on adrenaline and anger and you’re going to murder Tony.

“you better be in here Stark” you yell, hearing various implements crash to the floor “Kitty? Jesus, I got your message what the hell happened out there kid? How did they find you? You were secure!” he asks, frantically checking you and Ari for any injuries “I don’t know T, I did as you asked, I made no friends, I didn’t go out unnecessarily, you said you had the threat under control?” you’re so, so tired “I did, I had no indication that HYDRA knew where you were there’s been no chatter. Not a peep” he says “you okay kid? You’re looking like shit” he adds. “I had a run in with Bucky on the way up and I’m dead ass tired, Ari nearly got taken and right now I wanna wake up from this obvious fucking nightmare I’m having” silent tears are running down your face, you don’t notice “you need sleep Kitty cat, give the baby to me I can take care of the little monster while you get cleaned up and rest, I’ll send out for supplies and clothes” you breathe out a sigh “you sure T?” “yes, now give me my goddaughter, you’re of no use to either of us in the state you’re in” you bark out laugh “such a charmer you are Tony” you reply as you unstrap Ari “she needs to eat, she missed her feeding, and a bath won’t hurt her either” you add. “you got it mama” he winks.


(y/n) you need to get out. Now” Tony barks through the phone “I intercepted HYDRA intel, they know where you are and that you’re pregnant, we need to move you” panic, Blind searing panic “how? Why? I don’t understand T, I’m inconsequential” you breathe into the receiver “I’m not important enough for them to come after me T” you take a breath “what the fuck is going on?”

“I wish I knew kitty cat, be ready to go in 5”



Making a quick stop in Steve’s room you grab a shirt and a pair of joggers, you’re covered in dirt and sweat, drops of blood covering your clothes, you need a shower desperately, and a solid 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, you moan at the prospect, you can’t remember the last time you slept through the night, Ari needed to feed every 2 hours and you were running on empty. Trudging back to your old room you find Bucky sitting on your old bed, you sigh “James I can’t do this with you right now” you speak plainly too tired to go another round with him “well then ya best listen doll face, ya haven’t let me say my peace, an’ I need ta get this out” “James please not no-“ He interrupts you “for once shuddup an’ listen ta me alrigh’?” his face is deadly serious, brokering no room for protest, “fine. Say what you have to say, and then leave” you answer, he sighs, “Ya left me, Alone, no explanation, no warning, I mourned ya, ya know?” he falters “I loved ya for so long and you were just gon’, I couldn’ put the pieces together in my mind, why ya jus left like that” your crying, breath coming out in short pants “I knew I had hurt ya after the las’ fight we had, I knew I was an idiot, an’ Natalia offered comfort, I thought i loved her,I couldn figure out what I wanted, who I wanted” you can get through this (y/n) squeezing your eyes shut  “ i ended it with Natalia as soon as i figured out you left,she was a replacement for who i wanted an’ i hurt her too“ he looks disgusted with himself “i looked for ya, i spent months tryna find ya, i felt like i was goin’ insane without ya” his lips curl back into a snarl “you are so deeply in-bedded in who i am, i don’ know what i am without ya, ya saved me from the dark, an’ i pushed ya into it”

“an then ya march back into my life bold as brass, with a baby strapped ta ya, covered in dirt and blood,with that fuckin’ attitude that makes me wanna tear my hair out, an’ ya shattered my heart all over again (y/n)” tears are streaming down his face, Dont let him in You think “I know the babies mine (y/n) an ya aint gonna keep her from me, I’m gonna be her daddy, whether ya wan’ me ta or not” he adds “give me a chance, Kitty, I can make this right, I can be who ya need me to be, please all im askin’ for is a chance” he pleads. God how you want to give in, you want to wrap yourself in Bucky and never let go. You want to be a family, you want Ari to have both parents, but how do you know he wont turn tail when he starts to doubt again? No, Ari comes first. Always Adriana.

“I won’t stop you from being Adriana’s father James” he brightens instantly.

“but you and I, we can never be anything more than we are now. Too much has happened, I’m your second-choice James, your consolation prize, I was just a mistake to you, you said so yourself, I can’t” you sigh “I can’t do that again Buck, I can’t go through that again, I cant put my daughter through that”

“I’m gonna prove ya wrong doll” he stands to leave

“ya were never my second choice” he adds “ya were the only choice.”

“an I was a fool ta only realize that after ya were gone”

Tags: Return of the angst SUFFER

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Christmas Comes Early

Summary: Your mom forces you to go to a premature holiday party that you would rather not attend. To your surprise, you end up meeting one of your favorite actors, Jared Padalecki. 

Word Count: 4520 (oops)

Warnings: Smut!, unprotected sex (wrap it up), oral (female receiving), somewhat public sex, casual drinking, cursing

A/N: There’s a first time for everything! I’ve never written Jared before, but this fic came to me in a dream. Hope you guys enjoy! As always, like/reblog/send me some love if you enjoyed! Tagging some people at the bottom I think may enjoy(:

Originally posted by frozen-delight

“Y/N, for the hundredth time, yes you have to come to the party. I’m sick of making up excuses for why you don’t come to events with us.” Your mom sounded so exasperated over the phone, you could practically see her rubbing her temples. Your parents wanted you to come with them to your mom’s best friend’s holiday party around an hour away from your apartment, and you weren’t exactly feeling like going on your first free Saturday in a long time. Plus, the holidays were still three weeks away. Who has a party this early?

“Jake’s not going either!” Throwing your younger brother under the bus wasn’t a classy move, but you grasping at straws here.

“He has a tournament a state away. He can’t help that.”

“But Mom, I don’t think I have time to drive out there. I’m so busy,” you countered.

“You realize we share a Netflix account and that I can see that you’re forty-five minutes into a Black Mirror episode, right?” Shit, caught, you thought. You tried to think of any other excuse that could keep you firmly rooted to your couch for the rest of the weekend, but came up short.

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|| incompetence ||

this is the first time I’ve ever written something for bradley baker from {{edge of winter}}. Admittedly, the movie’s not perfect, but I still enjoyed it.

this story contains spoilers for the movie, just in case you haven’t watched {{edge of winter}} and want to avoid spoilers.

warnings: mentions of abuse

**don’t repost this story.**


We lit a flame in our bodies: I’m sure you can hear it well enough to drive you mad… It’s telling us to, “live”!

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anonymous asked:

Hey friend!! I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH AND YOURE SO TALENTED OM MY GOSH. Could you do one with Josh or Tyler where the reader and Tyler/Josh fight and don't talk for a long time (days) and then one of them breaks down. So like angst but then fluffy?!! HOPE YOU SMILED TODAY :))


“Hey,” you say into your phone, “I’m just walking home from work right now.  I haven’t heard from you in a couple days and I guess I just realized that I couldn’t remember what city you were in tonight.  Newark?  Maybe Toronto, I don’t know— wherever you are… it’s far.  And I just wanted to say I miss you.” You take a deep gulp before continuing, “Anyway, hope the tour’s good, call me if you get a chance.  Love you.”

With heavy fingers, you hang up the phone before returning it to your back pocket.  You were hoping to catch Tyler before he and Josh went on stage tonight, but he was obviously occupied with other things.  What those other things were, you had no idea.  Tyler had been increasingly distant since his new tour started two weeks ago.  Other than a couple of phone calls and a few returned texts, you’d barely heard from him.  

In your head, you liked to think that you and Tyler were solid.  You’d been together for seven years now.  You survived the years and years of him and Josh just trying to make it through.  You survived the endless nights of gigs in the same venues where the same handful of people would show up.  Then, you survived the sudden spike in popularity of his band, and the chaos and madness that came with it.  You survived the months and months of him being on the road, sometimes time zones away.  And yet, every single time he left, you still got this dreadful feeling in the pit of your stomach that scared the hell out of you.   Because the more times Tyler left, the more you were able to realize that this gig wasn’t short term.  He was in this band for the long haul and life as you knew it when you first met and fell in love with Tyler, had changed.

You held on to the concept that after this tour, Tyler and Josh would have a little break.  At least six months was what Tyler had anticipated before they went on the road again.  That would give you and him time… much needed time… to rekindle your relationship and make your image of your solid relationship a reality again.  

The concept of a long-distance relationship weighed heavy on your shoulders the rest of the way home.  You tried distracting yourself, thinking about what you were going to make for dinner instead, but it was no use.  Your problems with Tyler pushed their way to the forefront of your brain with force and power, clouding your mind.  

In fact, you were so distracted with your thoughts that you barely even heard the music coming from inside your supposed-to-be-empty-apartment.  

You stop dead in your tracks, your mind wheeling back to reality as you’re faced with the situation at hand.  You hesitated slightly, your heart beating loudly in your chest before opening the door slightly.  You recognized the sound as Tyler’s record player.  

As you stepped inside, you immediately smelled something delicious.

“Crap!” you heard someone say.

You jumped at the sound of his voice, but turns towards the kitchen to see a surprised looking Tyler wearing mismatched oven mitts and holding a casserole dish in his hands.

“I thought you were getting out at 6…” he says.

You sincerely hope he puts down that casserole dish because you can’t help but fling yourself in his direction, dropping your bag and jacket in a heap on the floor with tears already welling up in your eyes.  

(Tyler does in fact set the dish down) before you crash your body into his.  You wrap your arms around his neck and let him spin you in a circle before setting you back down.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be home for a week,” you say, smiling widely.  

“We had the night off,” he explains.  

You press your lips to his desperately, trying to make up for the last couple of weeks without him around.  When you finally pull away, there’s a smile plastered over his goofy-looking face.

“I attempted dinner,” he says.  

It’s spaghetti and sauce, which was about the only thing Tyler truly knew how to cook.  You weren’t complaining though.  The mere image of seeing Tyler sitting across the table from you was enough to make you want to eat spaghetti for the rest of the week.  

“So how’s the tour?” you ask, twirling another bundle of noodles together on your fork.

“It’s good,” he says in between bites.  “The venues are insane, I couldn’t believe the size of some of these places, but most are selling out, so it’s all good,” he chuckles.  

You nod as you chew.

“We started recording the new album,” he says.

His words are quite and muffled even more so by the pasta swirling around his mouth.  But it’s loud enough to catch your attention and make you look up from your plate.  He’s refusing to meet your gaze as he focuses on the meal in front of him, but you continue to stare.

“You what?” you ask, keeping your tone as smooth as possible, trying not to let the surprise be evident in your voice.

“Yeah, well I mean just a few songs here and there, but we think it’ll be done soon.”

You shake your head suddenly, putting down your fork and looking Tyler dead on.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand… so you’re going to finish the album up now, then what? Let it sit for a bit?”

“No…” Tyler says, looking equally confused, “We’re going to finish up the album, release it, then tour it… You know the drill.”

“What about the break?” you say, your voice getting more and more heated.  

Tyler sighs heavily before putting his own silverware down.  “Y/N…”

“No-“ you say, emotion starting to flood into your words, “Don’t ‘Y/N’ me… You said that after this tour there’d be a break.  I mean, did you not?”

Tyler sighs, like this entire conversation was becoming a burden.  

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you…”

“I want you to tell me why you said you were taking a break after this tour if you had no intention of doing so.”

Tyler pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly growing irritated as well.

“I never said for sure that there’d be a break, so I don’t know why you’re acting all defensive about this.”

“You did, actually… you said that we just had to make it through this stretch and then you’d be home for a break. Six months with no tour or recording or interviews.  Just a break.”

You could feel yourself becoming riled up.  Of course Tyler knew what he said, but he’d be damned it he ever admitted to being wrong.

“So, what I’m trying to understand is why you would say that if you didn’t mean it—“

“Just because you’re allowed to sit at home constantly doing absolutely nothing doesn’t mean I can!” Tyler snaps, finally looking up.  “Someone’s gotta pay the bills and actually work.  Because this is my job, you know?  I can’t just take six months off whenever I feel like it.”

You look at him with venom in your eyes, but hurt in your heart.  Tyler’s words cut through you like glass, shards of it breaking off and cutting deep.  

“I’ve always dreamed of being successful in this band, and now that that’s actually happening, you can’t stand it.”

“That’s not true—“ you try to interject.  Your voice catches in your throat as you feel tears welling up in your eyes.  

“It is true!” Tyler takes a deep breathe, collecting himself before continuing in a softer tone, “You liked me when I was at the bottom because it made you feel less shitty about yourself. Because then we were both losers.”

His words hang heavy in the air and you hold your breath, refusing to swallow them down.  You thought that if they just lingered then maybe the reality of their context wouldn’t hit you fully.  

But your emotions caught up and you couldn’t hold back the tear that fell silently down your cheek.  

You look at Tyler, sitting across from you.  He looked the same.  Short hair, swallowed eyes, flushed skin.  But he was so different from the person you met eight years ago.  

People change.  That was not a new concept for you.  And they say that people who are in love change together, growing closer and working as a team.  But as you stare across the table at Tyler, his hand pulled into a tight fist, resting on the table, you realized that the two of you had not changed together.  Instead, you’d grown apart.  

You swallowed the lump in your throat and bundled up the napkin that had been resting on your lap before standing up.  His words still stung as you opened your mouth to speak.  Anger, resentment, frustration… all flooded through you.  But hurt was the most prominent emotion… the one that made it’s appearance in your words.

“Good luck on the new album,” is all you can manage to say before your throat caught on the lump you’d tried swallowing earlier.  You collected your purse from the chair near the door before twisting the knob and hurrying out without looking back.  

You made your way down the street, half expecting Tyler to race after you.  But you got further and further from home, and heard no protests or calls of your name, so you continued dreadfully all the way to your friends house across town.

They were warm to welcome you inside, and assured you that you could stay as long as needed.

“He should be gone by morning,” you told them, smiling appreciatively.  “Thanks.”

No texts.  No calls.  

No note when you returned home the next morning.  


He was gone, the apartment looking exactly how you left it, and the gaping hole inside you seemed to grow just a bit bigger.

The days to follow were excruciatingly painful.  Tyler didn’t reach out to you, and you didn’t reach out to him.  Part of you wanted to believe that this was just some horrible fight you two were having, but the logical part of your brain made you wrestle with the fact that this could be the end of your seven-year-relationship.  The final chapter, written specifically with pain and anguish in mind.  

You wanted to call, just to talk and to find out where you both stood in all of this.  The break was your one plan to restore the fire that once burned between the two of you, but now that that was gone out the window, you had no idea where to look for hope.

You always thought of Tyler as being the love of your life.  But maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.  

You didn’t call.  Part of you was still so angry about the words he said.  You were afraid you’d burst into angry, embarrassing tears the minute he picked up the phone.  So you just stayed clear.  You let the silence speak for itself.

The silence did nothing to help the gaping hole inside your chest.

It made it hard to sleep.  On day three, you laid in bed, your arms wrapped around your frame in an attempt to hold yourself together.  But your mind raced for hours about what was going to happen.  Exhaustion finally took over, crashing over you and sweeping you into an uneasy sleep.

You were woken up abruptly in the middle of the night, your clock reading 3:56 a.m., by a loud noise.  You would have thought it was in your dream had it not been for the continuing footsteps that followed the noise.

You sat up in bed, your heart racing at the immediate thought of an intruder in your apartment.  You slipped off from your bed and grabbed the baseball bat Tyler kept hidden under the bed, ready to clock whoever the robber was when the door creaked open.  

You almost screamed as the moonlight coming in from your open shade illuminated Tyler’s sunken face.

“Jesus Christ!” you gasped, dropping the bat and clutching your chest.

“Sorry!” he says quickly, holding his hands up in defense.  “I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“What the hell are you doing here, it’s 4 a.m!  I could have bludgeoned you to death!” you say in your loud-whisper voice.

“I came straight from a show—“ he explains.  “I’m sorry it’s so late, but I had to see you—“ you’re half sure you hear his voice crack.  “It’s like I couldn’t function these last few days.  I left so mad, but once I got out there and started playing, I couldn’t thinking about anything but you.”

You shift your weight from one foot to the other, letting Tyler continue.

“I just kept thinking what if the next time I come home…” this time his voice definitely does crack, “what if— what if the next time I come home, she’s not there?” you hear him break and your chest heaves from the sound of it.  

“I couldn’t stand thinking about coming home and you not being here— I couldn’t stand it, I had to come home.  I had to see you,”  you see his silhouette shaking violently in the doorframe,  tears evident in his voice and you want to run over to him, wrap your arms around him and hold him tight.  But you hesitate.  You’re unsure and afraid and nothing makes sense in your mind right now.

“I said awful things,” he continues, sniffling hard, “Awful things that make me deserve to be alone.  But I didn’t mean any of them.  Not a single one.  I was tired and upset about the fact that our break got postponed again and I knew you’d be mad about it, but there’s nothing I can do— I got locked in without realizing and I just don’t know what to do.”  He pauses, watching your face, and trying to gage a reaction.  “Just tell me.  Tell me what you want from me.  Do you want me to quit?” he asks, his eyes glistening with tears.  “Because I will.  I just, I don’t know how we got here— I don’t know what happened.  We were strong and we talked and now… I just don’t know what happened.  

And I have no idea what to do.  All I know is I want to stay here, right here— with you.  I have the tour and the music but you, you’re all that matters to me.  The other stuff is nothing.  It’s nothing without you.  But I don’t know what to do.  I’m trying to figure it out, but I don’t know— and I just… I need you to tell me what to do, because I don’t know.  I have no fucking idea, I just need you to tell me,” Tyler’s voice is frantic and desperate.  There’s tears running fluidly down his cheeks as he pleads in front of you.  

You can’t help it anymore as your heart breaks in front of him.  You rush over, taking long strides before opening your arms and crashing into him.  He’s still shaking violently, whispering the same phrase over and over, “Please… I need you to tell me, just tell me what to do—“

“Shh,” you whisper, rubbing his back.  

He finally hugs back, wrapping his own arms around you and burying his face in your hair.  You can feel him heaving as he sobbed into your shoulder and you held on tight.  

You’re not sure how long you stay like that, wrapped up in each other, both scared about the future and what it might bring.  It was long enough to make the back of your heels burn from standing there.  It was long enough for your light gray shirt to be stained dark from Tyler’s tears.  It was long enough for his familiar scent to wrap you up and make you feel at home again.  

When you finally untangle, you’re quick to grab back on to Tyler’s hand, desperate to keep touching him for as long as you could.  You led him over to the bed where you both climbed in silently.  As you curled into his side and rested your head on his chest you sighed deeply, feeling exhausted equally mentally as you did physically.  

But Tyler felt like home.  His embrace, his smell, the sound of his voice.  It was all things that made you feel loved and valued and important.  And you knew you’d both changed.  You knew you’d both grown slightly apart.  But this was not how your story was going to end.  This was not the final chapter in your book, because Tyler was still Tyler and you were still you and your love still had some spark left in it.

“We’re gonna make it,” you whisper into the dark room, clutching to the fabric of his cotton shirt.

Tyler squeezes you gently before kissing the top of your head.  “We’re gonna make it,” he repeats.  

The promise was sincere and bursting with love.  It caught the spark.  Your love would continue burning.  

Chapter Fifty-Five

Warner is sitting on the edge of the mattress, his coat thrown on the floor, his boots kicked off to the side. He’s sitting in silence, palms up on his lap, looking into his hands like he’s searching for something he cannot find.
“Aaron?” I whisper, moving forward.
He lifts his head. Looks at me.
And something inside of me shatters.
Every vertebra, every knuckle, both kneecaps, both hips. I am a pile of bones on the floor and no one know it but me. I am a broken skeleton with a beating heart. 
Exhale, I tell myself.
“I’m so sorry,” are the first words I whisper.
He nods. Gets to his feet.
“Thank you,” he says to no one at all as he walks out the door.
I follow him across the bedroom and into his office. Call out his name.
He stops in front of the boardroom table, his back to me, his hands gripping the edge. “Please, Juliette, not tonight, I can’t —”
“You’re right,” I finally say. “You’ve always been right.”
He turns around, so slowly.
I’m looking into his eyes and I’m suddenly petrified.
I’m suddenly nervous and suddenly worried and suddenly so sure I’m going to do this all wrong but maybe wrong is the only way to do it because I can’t keep it to myself anymore. There are so many things I need to tell him. Things I’ve been too much of a coward to admit, even to myself. 
“Right about what?” His green eyes are wide. Scared.
I hold my fingers to my mouth, still so afraid to speak.
I do so much with these lips, I think.
I taste and touch and kiss and I’ve pressed them to the tender parts of his skin and I’ve made promises and told lies and touched lives all with these two lips and the words they form, the shapes and sounds they curve around. But right now my lips wish he would just read my mind because the truth is I’ve been hoping I’d never have to say any of it, these thoughts, out loud. 
“I do want you,” I say to him, my voice shaking. “I want you so much it scares me.”
I see the movement in his throat, the effort he’s making to keep still. His eyes are terrified.
“I lied to you,” I tell him, words tripping and stumbling out of me. “That night. When I said I didn’t want to be with you. I lied. Because you were right. I was a coward. I didn’t want to admit the truth to myself, and I felt so guilty for preferring you, for wanting to spend all my time with you, even when everything was falling apart. I was confused about Adam, I was confused about who I was supposed to be and I didn’t know what I was doing and I was stupid,” I say. “I was stupid and inconsiderate and I tried to blame it on you and I hurt you, so badly.” I try to breathe. “And I’m so, so sorry.”
“What—” Warner is blinking fast. His voice is fragile, uneven. “What are you saying?”
“I love you,” I whisper. “I love you exactly as you are.”
Warner is looking at me like he might be going deaf and blind at the same time. “No,” he gasps. One broken, broken word. Barely even a sound. He’s shaking his head and he’s looking away from me and his hand is caught in his hair, his body turned toward the table and he says “No. No, no—”
“No,” he says backing away. “No, you don’t know what you’re saying—”
“I love you,” I tell him again. “I love you and I want you and I wanted you then,” I say to him, “I wanted you so much and I still want you, I want you right now—”
Stop time.
Stop the world.

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Jaehyun Scenario 

 Prompt: You and Jaehyun both like each other but the two of you a to scared to tell each other. When the members of Nct dream have a crush on you and you find it cute Jaehyun gets jealous. 

 Words: 1059

   Best friend; noun, an especially close and trusted friend. Someone you have fun with, someone you trust, someone you confide in, someone you love and cherish. When looking at the definition it is easy to tell that there is a fine line between being best friends and something more. You think you have crossed that line. It’s not like you wanted to fall in love with your best friend, you didn’t want for it to happen, it just did. There’s nothing more to it, that was the way your heart felt and you couldn’t change it but being hopeless in love with your best friend was no fun either.

    You had to do everything in your power to make sure you kept your feelings in check when you were around Jaehyun. This was not easy work at all. Over time he gave you a compliment or even smiled in your direction you had to try and fight back your blush and when that failed to hide. Whenever he touched you even just barely you did everything you possibly could to keep yourself from melting on the spot. As time went on and your crush grew this was getting harder and harder to do.

    You didn’t know this but Jaehyun also had a crush on you too. In his opinion, you were the most adorable person he knew. Although you we’re weird and awkward most of the time he found you quirky personality amazing. He found the way you crinkled your nose when you laughed beautiful and you’re most awkward moments outstanding. The only problem was that he had no idea how to tell you this or if you even liked him that way. And so the two of you remained hopelessly in love with one another both unaware of your shared feelings.

  Today you were going to the dorms. Jaehyun had told you that he had some people that he wanted to introduce you to. When you arrived, Jaehyun grabbed your hand and led you through the dorm. You tried your hardest to not do anything embarrassing that would reveal your crush. When he stopped you were met by the smiling faces of seven seemingly young teenagers, two of which you had already met. You assume that these seven boys were the youngest unit of Nct, Nct dream. You had already met Mark and Haechan because they were a part of other units that Jaehyun was in but the other five faces were completely new to you.

  “(Y/N), meet Nct Dream,” Jaehyun says introducing you, “That’s Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung,” He says pointing down the line, “and you’ve already met Mark and Haechan before.
  “Hi,” you say with a small wave “I’m (Y/N), nice to meet all of you” and thus began your friendship with the members of Nct dream.

  Somewhere along the line, the dream members had developed a small crush on you, and you found it adorable. All the pickup lines, small gifts, small talk, everything they did you found adorable and incredibly sweet. Jaehyun on the other side found it incredibly annoying, and it was starting to show.

  Whenever you would spend time with Nct Dream he would grow increasingly irrupted and it was starting to bother you. Which brings you to your latest plan that will hopefully not only men you and Jaehyun’s relationship but also his relationship with Nct dream. You know on the door to Jaehyun’s room but get no response. Slowly opening the door you took a quick peek into the room and saw Jaehyun sitting alone. You open the door a little more and squeezed your head into the opening. “Hey Jaehyun, me and the rest of Nct dream are going to get fro - yo, want to come,” you ask sweetly.

  “No,” Jaehyun responds flatly, turning away from you. This made you feel even worse about the current situation because you weren’t sure what you had it wrong but whatever it was it was really bothering him.

  “Please,” you beg “It will be really fun,” you say trying to convince him to come.

  ‘Fine,” Jaehyun grumbled standing up, to walk out the door. You really hoped this plan worked.

  So far the plan wasn’t working. In your head, you had envisioned everyone talking, laughing, and having fun but in reality, it was awkward and uncomfortable.The dream members were fine, they were talking and having fun but Jaehyun refused to talk to anyone. Whenever you had tried to strike up a conversation he would respond with silence You decided to try again because what damage could it do. “Hey, Jaehyun do you prefer ice-cream or frozen yogurt. I’m personally an ice-cream kind of girl but I want to know what you think”

  Silence. “Okay then um… What do you guys think,” you say turning to face the dream members. This earned you an annoyed grunt from Jaehyun as he stood to leave the store. What the hell did you do now? You stood up to follow him “Jaehyun stop!” you yelled with caused Jaehyun to stop and turn to face you. “What is going on with you?”

  “Don’t act like you care” he snarled

  “Of course I care, you’re my best friend,” you say catching up to him.

  “Why don’t you just go talk to Nct dream since you love them so much”

  “Are you jealous?” you ask, his silence answered your question. “First of all I don’t like them like that, I like them as more of a motherly figure. Second, of all you scared me so much, I thought I had done something terrible, and third of all I like you-” you stop short realizing your mistake before you have a chance to try and cover it up Jaehyun cuts you off.

  “I like you to,” Jaehyun says simply catching you off guard.

  “Really,” you ask


  “Well that’s a big relief,” you say “Now we should probably go back to the shop now. I think you owe all of Nct dream an apology. You scared the shit out of them with your bad attitude.“

  “They deserved it,” Jaehyun says causing you to playfully hit him “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he says putting his hands up for defense. “Let’s go,” he reached out and grabbed your hand and you both walk back to the frozen yogurt shop.

Sorry I didn’t post anything yesterday this took me so long to write.

p.s. on an unrelated note this is the 100th post on this blog, which I guess isn’t really that important but I thought it was cool.

[Requests are Open]


Shared Trailer (MGG)


a fanfic where matthew and reader end up having to share a trailer on set and the trailer only has 1 bed and he ends up feeling her up in his sleep which she enjoys

Warnings: smutish (Not edited)

It was a long tiring day on set. I was only a cast member for one episode so we had to share trailers since there wasn’t enough. I would’ve been okay with sharing a trailer with one of the girls but of course they were already doubled. That only left the one and only Matthew. 

“Do you mind of I take a nap?” I asked as I walked through the door of his trailer. “If you don’t mind me sleeping in the same bed then sure.” He said smiling. I nervously popped my fingers and gave him a shy smile. “That’s fine.” I said squeaking out. He nodded as he jumped into the queen size bed spreading his limbs out. I giggled and nudged him. “Move over you goof.” I said pushing his arm. He put his hands up in defense and pushed himself to one side. “All yours short stack.” He said motioning to the empty side. I fell onto the bed next to him and gave him a scowl. “Hey I’m not that short. You’re just overly tall.” I said turning my back towards him. “Excuse me.” He said yawning through it. I closed my eyes and fell further and further into a deep sleep. 

My mind was mostly shut off yes, but my surroundings were on high alert. The warmth between my legs made me uncomfortable as I felt the warm body against my back. As I became more aware and more awake, I felt the slight brush to my chest. I didn’t think anything of it still in a groggy state, not knowing where I was. I felt the soft brush against my chest again the warm hand softly caressing me over the fabric of my shirt. I snapped open my eyes not knowing what I needed to do. Panic set in as I looked down seeing Matthew’s hand softly squeezing the plumpness of my right breast. I stretched my head back seeing if his eyes were closed, which they were. I heard the subtle groans fall from his mouth. The warmth between my legs grew as his hands brushed softly against the peeks of my breasts. I bit my lip closing my eyes feeling the pleasure. I felt his hand release my breast running his hands softly down my side to my hip. His unconscious state pushed up the thin fabric of my shirt slipping his hand under touching the warm skin. The chills erupted over my body as I felt his hand stop abruptly under my breast. 

I could hear his breath catch in his throat. His hand sunk into my stomach not knowing what to do. “Fuck.” I heard under his breath. I pretended to shift in my sleep. I sifted back against his crotch feeling his arousal. The soft groan came from his mouth as he help onto my hips trying not to make me move again. “What were you dreaming about?” I asked startling him. “Shit Y/N don’t do that.” He said as I felt him jump. “God what did I do?” He asked me nervously. “Oh you know the usual. Just a regular fill up.” I said giggling. “I’m so sorry Y/N really.” He said as I turned around looking at his sheepish face. I shrugged my shoulders, “Eh it felt good. What were you dreaming about.” I said placing my hand on his stomach. I heard his breath catch in his throat as he flexed his stomach. “I’m not sure you would want to hear.” He said biting his lip, hiding his face. I moved my hand slowly down to him loose sweatpants slipping my fingers beneath the hem. “Shit.” He said groaning, pushing his head back into the pillow. “You were on top, ya know riding me.” He said a small red tint flushing his cheeks. I smiled and slowly wrapped my hand around his length feeling the arousal. I kissed the side of his neck leaving small bruises. “Go faster.” He commanded trusting his hips upward into my hand. As he released his arousal a loud knock came through the quiet of the trailer. “Fuck.” We said in unison as we both jumped. “Matthew, you are wanted on set!” The producer screamed through the door. “I’ll be out in a minute.” He said groaning. “I’ll be back in a bit. You better have all your clothes off when I get back.” 

I’ve been thinking a lot about how my next relationship is going to happen.

I want to be a friend first and always. I want someone who I admire intellectually, who will introduce me to a topic and expand on one I know much about. We understand the other’s humor, and she likes when I tease her because I am gentle. She is smart with her emotions and knows that sometimes feelings are fooling.

I want someone who’s tired of fighting, who is ready to give up and love without placing conditions on me.

I want someone who complains at the right times, sucks it up when there’s no point in complaining, and who appreciates homemade gifts and handwritten notes and poetry.

I want someone who knows I’m the one and will think twice before saying something nasty to me because she knows we create our love. I want someone who will share her time with me when she wants to run away.

I want someone geared toward self growth. We will never be the same. So our love will always grow.

I want someone who is independent and who will respect our sexual, emotional, physical, and personal freedoms. I am not yours. You are not mine. We belong to ourselves, and we have chosen to trudge through life side by side, not on top of each other. I want someone who knows she was an important person before she met me.

I want someone who is ready to make love and fuck at the same time. I want someone who loves foreplay and doesn’t see it as a 2-second stint before penetration. I want someone who is turned on by kissing and secret booty grabs in public.

I want someone who is aware of the shitty things she does, including the ones she can’t quite help yet, and by being so will remind me it’s ok to be imperfect when shitty things seep through the person you’re trying to be. I want someone who challenges my flaws with a gentle nudge. I want a kind and understanding teacher and student.

I want someone who is different than anyone I’ve ever met, who catches my eye on a bad day and makes my stomach drop when I think of her. I want someone with a name I’ve never heard and whose magic I can taste. I want someone whose style is defined.

I want someone who keeps me up at night because I don’t wanna be in my dreams without her. And I want someone who finds me in my dreams when I do fall asleep.

I’m waiting. I know you’re out there. Anything I’ve imagined is real. It just hasn’t happened yet. So make it happen. When you’re ready I’ll be here. I’m already in love with you.

✭ ✮ Linkin Park || Hybrid Theory Starters ✮✭


  • Paranoia’s all I got left.
  • I don’t know what stressed me first–or how the pressure was fed.
  • But I know just what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head.
  • It’s like a face that I hold inside–A face that awakes when I close my eyes–
  • A face that watches every time I lie–A face that laughs every time I fall!
  • So I know that when it’s time to sink or swim.
  • That the face inside is hearing me right underneath my skin!
  • It’s like I’m paranoid lookin’ over my back
  • It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head.
  • It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within–!
  • It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin!
  • Your paranoia’s probably worse!
  • I don’t know what set me off first but I know what I can’t stand? Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is I can’t add up to what you can.
  • The sun goes down and I feel the light betray me–!

                                        One Step Closer

  • I cannot take this anymore!
  • I’m saying everything I’ve said before!
  • All these words they make no sense…
  • I find bliss in ignorance.
  • The less I hear the less you’ll say–but you’ll find that out anyway!
  • Just like before…Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge– I’m about to break!!
  • I need a little room to breathe cause I’m one step closer to the edge!
  • I find the answers aren’t so clear and I wish I could find a way to disappear.❞ 

                                         With You

  • I woke up in a dream today to the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor–I forgot all about yesterday.
  • I’m remembering I’m pretending to be where I’m not anymore.
  • A little taste of hypocrisy and I’m left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react.
  • So even though you’re so close to me–you’re still so distant and I can’t bring you back.
  • It’s true the way I feel as promised by your face.
  • The sound of your voice is painted on my memories.
  • Even if you’re not with me, I’m with you.
  • I hit you and you hit me back– the rest of the day stood still.
  • When things go wrong I pretend the past isn’t real.
  • Now I’m trapped in this memory.
  • No matter how far we’ve come–I can’t wait to see tomorrow.

                                         Points of Authority

  • Forfeit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame and puts your name to shame!
  • Cover up your face–you can’t run the race–the pace is too fast and you just won’t last.
  • You love the way I look at you while taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through.
  • You take away if I give in.
  • My life, my pride is broken.
  • You like to think you’re never wrong–but you’ve lived what you’ve learned.
  • You have to act like you’re someone and you want someone to hurt like you.
  • You want to share what you have been through.
  • You love the things I say I’ll do–the way I hurt myself again just to get back at you!


  • Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal!
    Fear is how I fall–confusing what is real–!
  • There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface–consuming, confusing..
  • This lack of self-control I fear is never ending.
  • I can’t seem…to find myself again.
  • Without a sense of confidence and I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take.
  • I’ve felt this way before–so insecure!
  • Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me–distracting, reacting.
  • Against my will I stand beside my own reflection..


  • A constant wave of tension–on top of broken trust–the lessons that you taught me I learned were never true.
  • I find myself in question–they point the finger at me again.
  • Guilty by association–you point the finger at me again!

  • I wanna run away and never say goodbye.
  • I wanna know the truth instead of wondering why.
  • I wanna know the answers–no more lies.
  • I wanna shut the doors and open up my mind.

  • Another wave of tension has more than filled me up.
  • All my talk of taking action–these words were never true.
  • i wanna run away and open up my mind.

                                              By Myself

  • What do I do to ignore them behind me?
  • Do I follow my instincts blindly?
  • Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams–and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
  • Do I sit here and try to stand it?
  • Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
  • Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
  • Because I can’t hold on when I’m stretched so thin–I make the right moves but I’m lost within.
  • I put on my daily facade but then–I just end up getting hurt again–By myself.
  • I can’t hold on to anything, watching everything spin–with thoughts of failure sinking in!
  • If I turn my back I’m defenseless.
  • To go blindly seems senseless.
  • If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they’ll take from me ‘till everything is gone.
  • If I let them go I’ll be outdone, but if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun.
  • If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer, then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer. By myself.
  • How do you think I’ve lost so much?
  • I’m so afraid that I’m out of touch.
  • How do you expect… I will know what to do–when all I know Is what you tell me to.

                                            In The End

  • It starts with one thing and I don’t know why because It doesn’t even matter how hard you try.
  • All I know–time is a valuable thing–watch it fly by as the pendulum swings.
  • Watch it count down to the end of the day–the clock ticks life away–It’s so unreal.
  • I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart..
  • I tried so hard–and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter.
  • I had to fall to lose it all.
  • But in the end it doesn’t even matter.
  • I tried so hard in spite of the way you were mocking me–acting like I was part of your property!
  • Remembering all the times you fought with me–I’m surprised it got so far.
  • Things aren’t the way they were before.
  • You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore–not that you knew me back then.
  • But it all comes back to me–in the end.

                                              A Place for My Head

  • I watch how the moon sits in the sky in the dark night–shining with the light from the sun.
  • And the sun doesn’t give light to the moon assuming that the moon’s gonna owe it one.
  • It makes me think of how you act for me–you do favors and then rapidly just turn around and start asking me about things that you want back from me.
  • I’m sick of the tension, sick of the hunger– SICK OF YOU ACTING LIKE I OWE YOU THIS!!
  • Find another place to feed your greed while I find a place to rest.
  • I want to be in another place.
  • I hate when you say you don’t understand–you’ll see it’s not mean to be.
  • I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy–a place for my head.
  • Maybe someday I’ll be just like you and step on people like you do and run away  the people I thought I knew!
  • I remember back then who you were–you used to be calm, used to be strong–used to be generous but you should’ve known that you’d wear out your welcome.
  • And now you see how quiet it is, all alone.


  • At the core I’ve forgotten–the middle of my thoughts.
  • Taken far from my safety–the picture is there .
  • The memory won’t escape me..but why should I care?
  • There’s a place so dark you can’t see the end, the skies cock back and shock that which can’t defend.
  • The rain then sends dripping an acidic question–forcefully, the power of suggestion.
  • Then with the eyes shut, looking thought the rust and rot–And dust– a small spot of light floods the floor.
  • Light pours over the rusted world of pretend.
  • The eyes ease open and its dark again.
  • In the memory you’ll find me with my eyes burning up.
  • The darkness holds me tightly until the sun rises up.
  • Moving all around–the screaming of the ups and downs is pollution manifested in perpetual sound .
  • My memory now is like the picture was then–when the paper’s crumpled up it can’t be perfect again.

                                            Pushing Me Away

  • I’ve lied to you the same way that I always do–this is the last smile that I’ll fake for the sake of being with you.
  • Everything falls apart–even the people who never frown eventually break down.
  • The sacrifice of hiding in a lie is that everything has to end.
  • You’ll soon find we’re out of time left to watch it all unwind.
  • The Sacrifice is never knowing why I never walked away, why I played myself this way.
  • Now I see, you’re testing me–and it pushes me away.
  • I’ve tried like you to do everything you wanted too.
  • This is the last time I’ll take the blame for the sake of being with you.
Everlark Fanfics I’m Desperately Trying to Catch Up On: Week 18

I’m still going to post, despite some people not liking my posts. Any who… Here is week 18, Everlark shippers! If you’d like to check out my previous posts, follow #rachel’s fanfic lists or search the tag on my blog. Enjoy these entertaining fics by these talented authors!

A Night Alone (Jaewon Smut)

Originally posted by minoswhore


POV: First

Rated M (Mature)

Kinks: None

Admins: Nari and Zion

I zipped up my suitcase and looked up at myself in the mirror. I groaned at the sight of a lock of hair being out of place and set it back into place. Tonight was a special occasion and I didn’t want to look like a mess. This was the one night where I could finally be alone with my boyfriend of three years, Jaewon or otherwise known by his stage name of One. He was always busy with something and it took away so much precious time to the point where he seemed like a stranger.

Keep reading

Flirting Gets You Far

Originally posted by pans-dreamshade-of-neverland

Pairing: Peter Pan x Reader

Prompt: Could you maybe do a Peter Pan imagine where Peter gets jealous when other lost boys are flirting with (Y/N) because he’s secretly in love with you

Can u do a Peter Pan smut?

Warning: SMUT

A/N: I really love Robbie Kay. Like hot damn.

(Y/N) = Your Name,


You had lived on Neverland for as long as you could remember.  You had never had a real home until you had come to the island. The longer you had stayed, the more you thought of the Lost Boys as your family, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.  But, there was one small problem. You were a flirt. You couldn’t help it, it was just who you were. Most of the boys understood that, and even jokingly flirted back with you. Hell, you even flirted with Pan. You told yourself that the Lost Boys knew you weren’t serious. It was all in good fun.

One day, around midafternoon, you found yourself bored out of your mind. Most of the boys had gone out hunting, leaving you, Felix, Peter, and a couple of the younger boys back at the camp. You sat on a log, whittling away at a stick you had found. Great, you thought, I’m so bored that I’ve decided that making a stick sharp is the most fun I can have. You groaned, and stood up. You glanced around the camp, and spotted Felix leaning against a tree, keeping an eye on the camp. “Felix!” you yelled out, making your way over to him. He looked over at you, and gave a lop-sided smirk in response. You leaned against the tree next to him.

“Felix, I’m so bored. Is there anything we can do?” you asked, looking up at him. He looked down at you, the smirk still plastered on his face. “I can think of something we can do.” He responded. You giggled and raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?” you replied, the mischievous look still in your eye. Felix was about to say something, but all of a sudden, he got pulled away from you. Peter stood between the two of you, a murderous look in his eye. You would never admit it out loud, but in that moment, Peter Pan had scared you. “Felix, don’t you have anything better to do than to be flirting with our little Lost Girl?” he gritted out through clenched teeth. Felix’s smirk dropped, he gave a slow nod, and then he walked away. Peter slowly turned towards you. “(Y/N), come with me.” It wasn’t a request, it was a demand. You gulped, and nodded.

You followed Peter through the dense jungles of Neverland, until you finally reached his treehouse. Once inside, you stood in the middle of the middle of the room, not knowing what to do. You looked up at Peter, who still seemed as mad as before. He looked at you, and finally spoke. “Why? Why do insist on flirting with everything that has two bloody legs?” You were starting to get angry. “Why the hell do you care, Pan?!” His eyes snapped to yours, and you realized you fucked up bad. Your eyes went wide, and you slowly started backing up, until your back hit the wall. Peter stood directly in front of you, his face no more than a few inches from yours. “Why do I care so much? Because you’re mine.” He whispered, and smashed his lips to yours.

 You were shocked, and you had no idea what to do. Peter Pan was kissing you. What. The. Hell.  He pressed his lips harder into yours, desperate for a reaction. You slowly melted into the kiss. He spread your legs with his, placing his thigh between the now open space, and then took your wrists and pinned them to the wall. You moaned into the kiss, and you felt him smirk against your lips. He licked along your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You easily complied, allowing him entrance to your mouth.  He broke the kiss, and starting trailing kisses down your jaw and neck. You moaned, loving the feeling of his lips against your skin. He moved both of your wrists into one hand, while the other one trailed up your shirt. He groped on breast through your bra, while still continuing his attack on your neck. “(Y/N), you’re mine. Why have a second-in-command when you could have the one in charge?” he whispered against your skin, malice lacing his voice. “Y-you’re the only one I want, Peter.” You moaned out.

 He smiled against your neck, and took off your shirt. He trailed his hand up your smooth skin until he reached the fabric of your bra. He reached around, and somehow unhooked your bra with one hand. He dropped your wrists to let your bra fall to the ground, and then immediately pinned them above your head again. His hand reached your breast, and started kneading the soft flesh. You moaned loudly, loving the sensations he was giving you. He started grinding his leg into your clothed core, causing to whimper. He moved his hand from your breast, and trailed it down to your pants. He unbuttoned them fast, and with a swift tug he pulled both your pants and panties off. His hand immediately found your core, and without a warning he pushed a finger inside of you. You moaned loudly at the intrusion, and ground against his finger, begging for more friction. He chuckled lowly, and kissed you hard. You immediately responded, loving his mouth against yours. He added another finger in your pussy, working and stretching you open. When he felt you were ready enough, he retracted his fingers, leaving you whimpering at the loss.

 He snapped his fingers, and his clothes disappeared. You took a moment to stare at his naked form. He was absolutely gorgeous. He noticed you staring, and smirked. He let go of your wrist, which was slightly sore, but you couldn’t care less at this point. “Jump.” He said, his voice deep from lust. You instantly jumped up and wrapped your legs around him, his cock against your core. He pushed your back against the wall, and positioned his dick at your entrance. He looked up at you, silently asking for permission. You nodded quickly, and he quickly entered. You gasped loudly, and let your back arch off the wall. Peter wasted no time slamming into at a relentless pace. Your hands flew to his head, your hands tangling into his gorgeous dirty blonde hair. “F-fuck, Peter! D-don’t stop!” you moaned out. He went even faster at your words, his pace relentless. You felt your climax quickly approaching, the sensations becoming too much. You felt Peter reach a hand between the two of you, his finger putting pressure on your clit. “G-god, (Y/N), you feel so good. Come for me!” he commanded, his voice cracking from lust. You screamed loudly, your orgasm washing over you in waves. Peter followed not long after you, a low groan of your name escaping his lips.

 You stood there, legs still tightly wrapped around Peter’s waist, trying desperately to catch your breath. Peter leans up and plants a swift kiss on your lips before carrying you over to the bed and laying you down. Your eyes dropped slightly, exhausted from the previous events. You felt Peter climb next to you and lay down. He wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you closer. He placed a swift kiss to your temple. You smile, and hum in content, sleep washing you “I love you, my little Lost Girl.” You hear Peter whisper lowly. “I love you too, Peter Pan.” You say, as sleep finally claims you, letting you dream in the arms of the one you love most.