trying to brighten my own mood

Damn it, I need you.

Authors Note: This was requested by the prompt:
“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”  From the list of Prompts found HERE.
All prompts/ Blurbs can be found HERE
Warning: It is a bit sad, as you can assume from the sentence it started from.


He was never one to permit his emotions to show unless in the comfort of his own house, generally not even then did he grant them the opportunity to reveal very often. It was on rare occasions that you ever saw a tear escape from his precious eyes.

From the moment he received the call his body was diverted into an emotional panic state, he didn’t care that he was in the middle of signing his new contract; he didn’t care that it was impolite to answer the phone call. The minute he sensed his phone ringing he had an inkling something was wrong, something about the morning just wasn’t settling right with him.

He had left you this morning snuggled up to the warmth of the bed, he admired you peacefully sleeping, the way your hair fell messily around you, the way your hand stayed nestled under the pillow, and the way you bury yourself amongst the covers.

He had spent a little too long appreciating you this morning, he just couldn’t help it. When he did manage to wrench himself away from watching you peacefully sleep, he pressed to kiss to your forehead, whispering a swift “I love you” before forcing himself to leave the bedroom, gathering his things from downstairs before leaving to attend his meetings.

The whole way to the hospital all he could do was repeat the same sentence over and over again, “Please be okay, please be okay.” trying to hold himself together but failing as he shakes while trying to compose a text message to his sister. She was the one who always seemed to know what to do, additionally, she was also two hours closer than his Mum.

He did his best to hold it together while pacing around the waiting room, wearing the floors’ thin as he chews his lip, circling the small area without stopping to think twice. He didn’t know what to do, there was nothing for him to do but to wait for a doctor to tell him what was going on. There was nothing he wanted more than to know that you were okay, he needed comfort, he needed the reassurance that this morning wasn’t the last time that he would be able to admire you while you slept, he needed to know that all the plans the two of you had made weren’t going to be nothing but unaccomplished plans.

His eyes meet his sisters when she steps into the holding area, he doesn’t say a word, he just glances at her like a child who desperately needs to be held for a while. She doesn’t think twice before forcing him into a hug, his taller figure towering over her as she wraps her arms around her little, (not so little), brother. The minute he felt her warmth and comfort he allowed his emotions to flow, for the tears to finally settle, the tears he had been holding in since he got the call.

“I just want to know everything is okay. I knew something was wrong with the morning, but I didn’t think—I didn't—” He stutters, struggling to finish his sentence through his tears. “I didn’t think we’d end up here.” He chokes on his own words.

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Art and stuff

So about 2 years ago when I was at my art school(I’m still there but I’m not actually THERE there at the moment) I was taking my Drawing II class; on the first day I was kinda late so I just kinda tiptoed in and took a seat. For the most part of the first week I kinda just stayed in my spot and kept to myself like I usually do(until I make so friends). Then as the second week rolled in, I wasn’t late this time thankfully, but I noticed this cute asian guy come in and I suddenly felt my heart skip a few beats! Was this guy in the right class?! Am I in the right class?! Why haven’t I noticed him before?! He was so incredibly handsome! I’m sorry! *COVERS FACE* He was tall, and he had some long silky soft looking black hair, and he always wore hipster-ish laid-back kinda style of clothes. I just kept thinking “Wow he’s really cute!”

The weeks in class went on and I never really talked to him. I’m a pretty shy person so it’d be hard for me, especially if I’m trying to talk to a cute guy! Aaaahh but I really wanted to! I just couldn’t! Soon I started to realize that I would stare at him… A lot…! Sometimes intentionally and sometimes not. I’m just silently crushing on him while thinking, “I wonder where he’s from… Oh, he’s from Hong Kong? That’s cool!… He changed his name to a common american name but I wonder what his real name is… His hair is sooo soft and fluffy looking! I wish I could touch it without being weird… I like his clothes. So simple yet so stylish at the same time.. I wonder if he’d like me in any way…”! All of this is happening in my head until I realize that he happened to glance my way! We’re holding eye contact for a few seconds and wait… He smiled at me!! Just a cute little smile of acknowledgement, and I smile back! This happened a lot; sometimes I caught myself staring at him out of admiration and the fact that he’s handsome and other times I’m just thinking about something else like what I’m going to eat later and he just happens to be in my line of vision! But he always gives me a cute little smile and I smile back and quickly look away thinking, “Oh my god, this is the 8th damn time you’ve caught me staring at you today! I’m so sorry! Please don’t think I’m a weirdo trying to stalk you!” Sometimes if his hair would get in the way he’d get this hairpin stick and hold it in his mouth while he’d fix his hair up in a bun or a ponytail to put the hairpin in! I’d try not to stare! I honestly did but… *SIGH* 

Sometimes when I had to get up for something I’d have to walk past his drawing desk and I’d take a look at his work and his drawings were SO.FREAKING.GOOD! There was so much detail and shade and value and shit and I’m just thinking “Damn can you teach me?!” Even though I found myself still staring at him I noticed that he would sometimes already be looking at me too. I could feel my heart doing some crazy things when that would happen! One time the class had to gather around our professors computer to look at something and we both happened to stand next to each other! I wasn’t even trying to actually do it, but it just happened?! Girl, I don’t think I’ve ever seen myself blush before,(I’m light so it’d probably show up)but I probably was at that moment! My face was on fire! My heart was about to explode! Like I said before, he’s pretty tall! Well mostly everybody is gonna be taller than me, since I’m only 5'2 but still! Did he purposely stand next to me? Did the universe align for us to stand next to each other for these few minutes?! Am I just being stupid and this is all a coincidence?! I don’t know but I’m pretty happy either way! 

One day, I think it was around finals or something, he was talking to a friend about his drawing project and saying he didn’t think it was that good and that he could’ve done better(artist’s favorite set of words), and I suddenly said that I think it’s really good, that there’s a lot of detail and that I think he worked really hard on it… Wait.. Did I just say that out loud? To him? Without hesitation? Then he got adorably cute and shy and modest saying that he didn’t think it was that good enough for me to say that. That moment probably added a year or 2 to my life! Not much happened between us due to my shyness and him likely being the same way, but when the semester ended I’d still think about him and wonder what it’d be like if we were friends. 

When the next semester started we didn’t have any other classes together but sometimes I’d randomly see him. Of course my dumb self was to shy to try to speak or quietly get his attention! But one day my friend and I were walking and a guy from her class walked by and greeted her and stuff and I happened to look at the guy next to him and it was the cute asian guy I’m crushing on!!! My heart started beating so fast! And to my surprise he brightened up and smiled at me and waved! You could literally see his mood brighten up just be seeing me. Even though we don’t know each others names and have never really talked to each other, I never knew I could do that to someone! It was an amazing little feeling. After we went our own ways I told my friend about him being in my drawing class and how I had a crush on him. She agreed with me that he was definitely cute and that I should try to get to know him! I wanted to but… Arrrghh! 

So towards the end of a semester I get a call from my dad saying school was getting a little too expensive at the moment and I’d have to take a break for a while. NOOOOO!!! Ok I hate school and doing work but I didn’t want to leave my friends and this boy I’m so badly crushing on! Why is this happening?! Why?! On the last day, when everyones packing up to go home for the break, we happen to find each other again! He was standing with a small group of some friends, but kinda off to the side in his own little world, but still listening to them, and he looks up and visibly brightens up like the sun and smiles at me and gives me this cute little shy wave. The fact that he takes his mind off what his friends were saying just to look at me and wave really made me happy. Of course I do the same, but I was feeling sad since this would probably be the last time I see him again. But I was glad I somehow saw him again before I left!

I still wonder if he’s still there, but he’ll have graduated by the time I get back there. The Lord and the universe we’re probably throwing me all these signs, wishing they could just hit me, saying “Girl, I’ve been throwing y'all together randomly for a reason! Why aren’t you picking up my signs! This could’ve been your 1st boyfriend!”. But if I stick around in the art industry maybe we’ll see each other again? And maybe I’ll have some confidence this time!

anonymous asked:

22 with bucky, please! love youuu ^^

Originally posted by skinon-skin

What do you mean by leaving?” You stared at the man in uniform before you as your hands clenched into fists by your sides.

Bucky stood opposite of you, a sad smile on his face, his eyes trailing from the top of your head all the way to your toes as if trying to remember every detail of you like it would be the last time he would see you. “Recruited to the 107th I ship out tomorrow.” His intoxicating voice repeated as he held the papers in his hands confidently.

There was nothing you could do now to prevent him from going to war, it was set in stone, and fear consumed you. Your resolve was fading very quickly and both of you could tell. “James - “ He took long strides pulling you against him. Your head instantly rested over his beating heart as tears welled up in your eyes before spilling out and cascading down your cheeks.

“Doll, please don’t cry.” His arms wrapped around your waist holding you tight against him, he gave a you a quick squeeze. “I just got the uniform,” he joked trying to lighten the mood. Your face continued to be buried in his chest but you had enough strength to playfully hit his arm.

“I will ruin your uniform if I please!” You pouted looking up into his icy blue eyes that met your teary eyed ones.

“You know I hate seeing you cry baby girl,” he mumbled as he matched your pout with his own. “Especially if this is my last night, we need to do something. Anything. You can even choose Doll.” He instantly tried to brighten the atmosphere around you both again as he flashed you a charming smile.

You knew instantly what you could do, the one thing Bucky could match in ranting with Steve who ranted about wanting to join the war. “Well I heard about the Stark thing is in town - “

“We’ll do that then,” he smiled leaning down giving you a passionate kiss that left you breathless.

“You’re not off the hook Barnes, have you even told Steve?” You asked crossing your arms over your chest giving him a stern look. It had him looking at his feet in shame.

“No Ma’am I haven’t, but he’s gone trying to join the war as well!” You rolled your eyes at him before grabbing his hand tugging him to the door.

“Both of you boys are going to be the death of me! Now let’s go tell Stevie, he’s probably in an alleyway getting beat up defending a dame’s honor.”


A/N: By the way, I love you too <3