trying to be funny but failing lol

OTP Teeth
  • Person A: *drugged up from getting wisdom teeth removed*
  • Person B: *came to visit*
  • Person A: who are you? *attempts to strike sexy pose and fails. Loudly whispers * your hot!
  • Person B: * trying not to laugh* I-I'm (person B).
  • Person A: Well, (person B)..*drools a bit from Gauss* you must have cleaned your pants with Windex, cause I can see my self in them latter tonight. *failed wink*
  • Person B: *dying of laughter* yo- you realize- we are already dating!
  • Person A: yes! Worked like a charm!
My opinion about the signs

Okay… I know this is not really my type of content but I always find these interesting to read so I thought I’ll post one myself.

Aries: you can count on them, don’t take things too seriously, get mad at small things, much fun to hang out with, somewhat egoistic, as soon as they find someone more interesting than you they will hang out with them (though, they will not forget about you)

Taurus: I always become extremly good friends with them, so relaxing to hang out with them, weird humour, very determined and stubborn, talk a loooot, in a relationship they need a lot of physical interaction, they make me feel like home, laughs about every little thing, cute laugh

Gemini: fun people to hang out with, their humour is so… unexpected like they say things you would have never thought about, tend to hide their serious feelings/emotions, take the side of the person they want to impress, think too much about how they can impress someone rather than just beeing themselves (even through their personality is way more charming)

Cancer: a little too sensitive for my taste, can get very annoying but they are too cute to be mad at, need a lot of protection, very giggly, great story-tellers (but they tend to tell you the same story over and over again), materialistic, put you first, loves from the bottom of their heart, pretty smart but dumb at the same time

Leo: warmhearted people, try to be funny and cool all the time (but fail eventually lol too cute), buys you a lot of gifts, attention-lovers, likes to meet new people, very vain when it comes to their appearance, very nervous when having tests/exams, naturally intelligent (unfortunately this doesn’t help them much in school), enjoys good food

Virgo: stress themselves way too much, overthink everything, usually very good in school, gets mad and stressed when things don’t work out as they thought they would, sort of a boring personality, they can talk sooooo much, very sensitive (!!!), tend to be too harsh on themselves, high expectations of themselves

Libra: naturally flirty af, cute smile, scared to be alone, talks most of the time about themselves, makes sure everybody is getting enough attention, very lazy, does things in the last minute, usually the one studying for a test/exam the lesson before, clumsy, needs protection, don’t like confrontations/fights, not good at making decisions or being on time

Scorpio: just like libras they talk a lot about themselves, get veeeeery obsessive over things and people, their staring is so intense that it makes me feel uncomfortable, cares a lot about their loved ones, scared to show feelings, makes very weird but cute compliments you would have never gotten from anybody else, sporty, try to flirt but that’s just a little… cringe-worthy lol

Sagittarius: now… these people are the absolut oppostie of me, always awkward when we hang out together, not the most loyal boyfriend/girlfriend/friend, always wearing top outfits, always looking good, cares a lot about their hair or in general their appearance, not the best in school, party every weekend, straightforward

Capricorn: makes sooo many cute compliments, I have this weird attraction towards them, extremly sexy, intelligent, can’t sit still, they are very weird people, humour consists of sarcasm and dad jokes and can be very dry, know way too well how to seduce people, not the best in expressing their feeling but they try, ABSOLUT SWEETHEARTS, gets shy when being complimented, very sensitive, never forget their mistakes and always regret them (no matter how small it was)

Aquarius: makes me feel like home at the very first meeting, either pretty chill or being pissed off at silly things, don’t like stubborn people, tendency to be very religious, very good friends, will do everything for and with you, works hard to reach their goals, plans everything weeks/months before

Pisces: I either like or can’t stand them, actually quite egoistic, not the best in using the right words, sensitive af 24/7, dark humour, cries a lot, scared to hurt someones feelings (even if they don’t like the person), avoids confrontations/fights by not saying what’s really on their mind, in a fight they will say the most hurtful things (and will regret them their whole life), using the victim-card way too often, most of the time smiling

What Your Sign Seems To Be

Aries: you can count on them, don’t take things too seriously, get mad at small things, much fun to hang out with, somewhat egoistic, as soon as they find someone more interesting than you they will hang out with them (though, they will not forget about you)

Taurus: I always become extremly good friends with them, so relaxing to hang out with them, weird humour, very determined and stubborn, talk a loooot, in a relationship they need a lot of physical interaction, they make me feel like home, laughs about every little thing, cute laugh

Keep reading

The Science Teacher (Jared Kleinman HEADCANON)

ok but like imagine you’re an English teacher and jared is a science teacher at the same high school…
- you guys would highkey flirt in front of everyone before you two got together
- like he would always steal your chalk/white board markers
- he would always be wearing his lap coat because he’s probs a chemistry teacher

- your guys’ classrooms would be so different from each other’s
- like yours is filled with books, plants, and other home-y things
- and his is filled with lame science posters
- all of your students would ship you
- everyone would tease you guys like
- “I can’t seem to reach this,”
- “Maybe you should get Mr.Kleinman to help you?”
- and everyone would giggle
- there would be times where jared would just walk into your classroom while you’re in the middle of teaching and just stare
- “did you need something, Mr.Kleinman?”
- “Nope.”
- everyone in the class would laugh
- “Don’t you have a class you need to teach?”
- “oh it’s nothing, just grade 12 AP chem”
- during lunch hours he would chill in your classroom and you guys would watch funny YouTube videos or RIP vine compilations
- Halloween?! U guys always have matching costumes
- you two were the talk of the school
- who cares about the most popular guy in school??? the real talk was if you and Mr.Kleinman had lunch today
- when you guys started dating it was so obvious
- he would leave little messages on your board during your prep period
- and would always make the joke of “Mr.Kleinman will see you now”
- you guys are seriously the cutest. Ever.
- after dating for a while I definitely see him proposing to you at a school assembly or like getting your students involved somehow.

!!BONUS!!:

- Alana is a history teacher who everyone has a love/hate relationship with. Because she is an AMAZING teacher but gives out so much work it’s insane
- Zoe is the music teacher!!! She spends her lunch hours doing stuff with the glee club and the school band. She’s that teacher that everyone goes in and talks to when they are having a bad day. Everyone loves her.
- Evan is the Environmental Science teacher. He basically teaches everyone about trees and other things involving nature!! He loves it but everyone hates his class lol. He just rambles on about trees and doesn’t know when to stop.
- Connor is the art teacher that keeps a flask under his desk LMAO. He went to art school, failed at trying to make a living as an artist, so restored to teaching at high school. None of the other teachers like him but all the students do. They think his pessimism is “funny” and “relatable”.

anonymous asked:

Hello~ uhm... can I request a headcannon about the Lords on how they will react if MC is ignoring them for a week because she has a new pet like kitten or puppy? Thank you in advance.

Technically this one came in after requests closed, but I’m just gonna… do it anyway… because i think it’s funny lol. Kittens all around!

- Nobunaga will pointedly ask the retainers around him if he should put out word that he’s looking for a new cook. Then he’ll try to exile the kitten (and fail miserably). He sulks. Loudly.
- What are you even talking about? The kitten likes Mitsuhide more than it likes you. Good luck.
- Yukimura is devastated. W-what is happening!? How can he defeat a tiny kitten? Saizo, help!
- Saizo kidnaps the kitten and demands dango as ransom. He does this multiple times a day. The kitten doesn’t mind.
- Masamune is slightly upset and feeling neglected… But he also likes cats… So he ends up petting the kitten together with you. It’s family bonding time. Group snuggling and napping ensue.
- Kojuro is Jealous. Plus cats hate him. He can’t even talk to you without the kitten scratching and hissing at him (and he has the wounds to prove it). Tries to be mature about it, but ends up telling Shigezane, hey, there’s a REALLY cute cat at my house, you should come visit (and maybe take it away). You agree sadly. He suggests having a baby instead if you really want to take care of something.
- Hideyoshi bribes the kitten to stay on his shoulders, so you end up trailing after him… He’s pleased.
- Inuchiyo is also Jealous but doesn’t know what to do about it. Begs Hideyoshi for help but gets laughed at. You’re oblivious. He contemplates getting Mamechiyo to chase the kitten around, but realizes it’s a terrible idea.
- Ieyasu threatens to drown the kitten if you don’t bring him his daifuku right now. Tadatsugu tries to run interference for you, but only ends up losing more hair. You and Ieyasu both sulk. Tadatsugu is sad.
- Mitsunari shoves a pile of books at you and tells you that if you’re going to have a pet, you need to learn how to take care of it. The cat scratches up one of his books and he throws a giant fit.
- Shingen approves of cats and likes to see you happy. If he wants attention, he will definitely let you know. He’s also happy to hang out and pet the kitten and eat snacks with you. Has fun suggesting increasingly inappropriate names for it.
- Kenshin is getting the prettiest accessories for that lucky kitten. Will just follow you around and flirt with you relentlessly until you cave if he feels neglected (while Kanetsugu screams in the distance because none of the work is getting done).

QZGS players flirt (hypothetically)
  • <p> <b>Bao Rongxing:</b> What is your astrological sign? Can you guess what sign I am?<p/><b>Huang Shaotian:</b> Wow, nice, nice! Come PK, come on, come on!PKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPK!<p/><b>Wang Jiexi:</b> They call me 'Magician'.<p/><b>Ye Xiu:</b> .....Do you like "Glory"?<p/><b>Wei Chen:</b> Hey! [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]!<p/><b>Zhou Zekai:</b> .............................<p/><b>Zhang Xinjie:</b> You have exactly 2 minutes to state you business with me.<p/></p>
Summer Nights, Unexpected Frights

In which Astrid’s father confronts Hiccup.

Lol. Enjoy. 

It was a clear, warm night with a bright moon and several thousands of stars twinkling down at the two riders. They sprawled out on the grass atop a flat sea stack, counting constellations and enjoying each other’s company. Toothless and Stormfly were behind them, dozing off since it was the dead of night and there wasn’t much room to play.

Astrid and Hiccup held hands as the breeze tickled their cheeks when they watched the sky. They made short conversation every now and then, but it was mostly a comfortable silence spent pointing at shooting stars or trying to identify the shapes of dragons that flew in front of the moon. They were comfortable and at ease, the first they had felt in a long time.

It was nice that they got to spend time relaxing together, but it got to be stressful, in a way, because they could only spend time together when the sun was long down. It was a week or so after the explosion on the Edge, and they decided to take a rest on Berk before returning to their outpost. Everyone was always swarming around Hiccup, congratulating him on his victory or coming to him with something or other. If he wasn’t talking to villagers, he was with his father in the Great Hall or with Gobber in the forge. All he wanted to do was spend time with Astrid.

“We should probably get going,” Astrid murmured, breaking the silence as she delicately brushed his knuckles with her thumb. “We’re going back in the morning, remember?”

Hiccup only sighed. He wanted to get back to work, of course, but he had come to treasure these moments he had spent with her under the moonlight. It was a pattern of crawling up her house on Toothless and rapping softly on her bedroom window (only because her parents would kill her if they found her sneaking out at night) and stealthily flying away from the island to where no one would disturb them.

Hiccup knew the work on the Edge had to be done. By this time, the ash from the explosion would probably be clear enough to start clean-up and rebuilding, if there was anything left at all. Though he and Astrid would find themselves alone much easier, it wouldn’t be as fun or exhilarating or special as this week had been. But there was work to be done, so he pushed himself off the ground with a grunt and helped his partner up as well.

It took only a couple of minutes to ride back to the main isle. The couple landed, as quietly as they could, next to Astrid’s house. When Stormfly was back in her stable, where she was before they left, they bid their goodbye’s in front of her house.

“Congrats, another successful date,” she whispered teasingly. The torches around the village illuminated her face so Hiccup could see the pink tint of a blush that crept onto her cheeks.

“Wha- you doubted me?” he replied with a goofy grin. Honestly, they were both surprised how well the week had turned out. Hiccup was a huge romantic, but he wasn’t very smooth. The two of them were equally aware of this. He pressed his lips together as he stared at her, pulling her closer. “Hey, it’s a learning experience.”

She bit her lip with a giggle as his eyes dropped to her lips. He leaned in gently and kissed her, which she welcomed as she grabbed a fistful of his tunic and pulled him closer. He sighed happily into her mouth as she deepened it, their heads tilting and his arms wrapping around her waist.

A sudden light and a door slamming open broke them apart. A large, burly figure equipped with an axe stood at the doorway, light streaming in from behind him.

“What in Thor’s name is– Astrid?”

“Dad!” yelped Astrid as she jumped away from Hiccup.

Arvid Hofferson stepped out into the darkness, bushy eyebrows raised high and his eyes wide with confusion. “What’s goin’ on here? I hear racket on the roof, enough to get me outta bed, and I come to see my daughter snoggin’ some random boy in the middle o’ the night! By, Odin, I should… great Thor, that’s Hiccup!”

Hiccup grimaced as Astrid’s father barked his name. He cringed further when Toothless slinked off of the Hofferson’s roof right in front of her father.

“Got anything to explain to me, boy? Why you’re out with my daughter, why your dragon is up on my roof, scarin’ the livin’ daylights out of me wife?”

“I– uh… I’m really sorry… sir…” Hiccup spluttered. “We… I, didn’t mean to– to disturb you in any way!”

“That’s an apology, not an explanation!”

“Ah… well… Astrid and I wanted to… we, uh… kinda… ” Hiccup cleared his throat, anxiety bubbling up in his stomach and making him feel sick.

“Out with it!”

“We’re… sorta… no, well- we are…” Hiccup pursed his lips and straightened his posture, holding his chin up higher. “We’re– ah…. courting.”

Arvid’s eyebrows shot up again. “Courting?” he echoed. “You two… courting?”

Hiccup nodded as he held his breath.

“I don’t recall you askin’ for my blessing,” he rumbled in a low voice, stroking his beard and eyeing the two.

“I-I’m really sorry about that!” Hiccup stammered quickly. “It- ah, well, we… started…  courting when we were away at the Edge, and I had full intentions of asking for your… your blessing, but things got caught up when we were here and I never had the chance to ask.” He hung his head. “I’m sorry Mr. Hofferson.”

“With this irresponsibility, what makes you think you’re good enough for my daughter?”

Hiccup couldn’t catch a break. “Well, sir, I- uh… I’m not good enough. For her, I mean. I do try my best, though, for her. When I’m with her, I want to make myself the best I can possibly be… um… well, because she really deserves the world… and so much more.” Hiccup’s face was beet red, visible in the light coming from the house.

“Astrid?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Dad,” she murmured. “I should have known better.”

“By Thor, Astrid, you couldn’t have chosen better!” he slapped Hiccup’s back, which made the thin boy stumble forward as Arvid came out to embrace the two. He crushed them with a monster hug. “The chief’s son? Ha! I knew you’d be the pride of our clan!”

After a long squeezing, the large man pulled away and pointed a finger at Hiccup. “When you’re with her, you’d better take care of her, hear me, boy?”

“Ah– yes! Yes. Yes, sir.”

A hearty chuckle later, and Arvid was pulling Astrid through the door of their home. “Oh, wait till Stoick hears this!”

Astrid craned her neck to look back at Hiccup, her eyes wide and mouthing an apology. When the door slammed shut behind them, Hiccup could swear the only other time his knees felt that weak was when he had first met Toothless and the dragon had screamed in his face.

He paused for a second, replaying what had just happened in his mind, and sprinted back to his house as fast as his foot could take him.

In which I try to write and be funny but ultimately fail

anonymous asked:

what are the rest of the deh crew doing if jared and reader are teachers in this au / hc

- Alana is a history teacher who everyone has a love/hate relationship with. Because she is an AMAZING teacher but gives out so much work it’s insane
- Zoe is the music teacher!!! She spends her lunch hours doing stuff with the glee club and the school band. She’s that teacher that everyone goes in and talks to when they are having a bad day. Everyone loves her.
- Evan is the Environmental Science teacher. He basically teaches everyone about trees and other things involving nature!! He loves it but everyone hates his class lol. He just rambles on about trees and doesn’t know when to stop.
- Connor is the art teacher that keeps a flask under his desk LMAO. He went to art school, failed at trying to make a living as an artist, so restored to teaching at high school. None of the other teachers like him but all the students do. They think his pessimism is “funny” and “relatable”.

Terashii’s marriage

I am delighted. I am happy. I am overwhelmed. I am proud.

I am very happy to learn that terashii is finally married, July 6, 2017 and it’s funny how stupid he is to put 2016 on his blog lol he was trying to look cool but he failed, he says. 

He was talking about his marriage on UNISON, then suddenly “ah! my wife is sato satomi from aoni production” hahahahha cutie. He said that they were dating for 8 years but he wants to keep quiet about it for his ‘wife’ yes he said ‘okusan’ privacy. how sweet. so this might be sudden for us but it’s not for them and for the people who know them. lol they are like “FINALLY”

They worked on Tune! before and they also go to the meeting with their gundam friends. lol both of them are nerd.

Terashii loves Ritsu from K-on and chitanda eru hahhaha. he also said last 2011?? that He wants to marry a cheerful person like RITSU!

Satomi chan loves otoya.

They graduated the same school.

Sato satomi went to terashii’s live before, terashii went to k-on live hhahaha he has a lot of ritsu’s figurine.

There are so many seiyuu’s (who obviously knows) congratulated them too!

wacchan, yatsumoto, tosshi, masayan, yonaga, yamaya, yuto suzuki, ichiki, morikubo and many mooooreee

I am so happy for them. I can’t ask for more. I use to think that “wow they look cute together” so this is a dream come true for me.

3

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE AND IT SHOWS HOW PATHETIC PEOPLE CAN BE.

The Annie person apparently was a Mercy main, because of their hours, and because I got to select Mercy first for the game, they got upset.

They sat there and tried to get me to switch by flashing their character cards at first. Then, the tracer (which was Annie) purposely got their self killed as soon as we spawned where the two first Omnics were outside the subway. They sat there and spammed ‘I need healing’ and ‘thanks’ so I just said 'acknowledged’ and moved onwards.

On the third hacking area, the Torb purposely stopped playing and put his turret and himself in the middle of the enemies (the difficulty was on expert btw) and took as much damage as they could so they could die. I use guardian angel to glide towards the Rein since he was over there with his shield up and not reviving him, and tried reviving him because I figured he would protect me. However, as soon as I did, Rein let his shield down on purpose (it was not cracked and he was not in critical stage) and let me die, then himself, then tracer stopped playing and tried tbagging me before dying theirself. Afterwords, all of them spammed 'thanks’ and proceeded to message me 'smh’ after the game.

The point of my post is that; just because you were late to select Mercy or your 'Main’ DOES NOT GIVE YOU A RIGHT to throw the game and purposely and technically bully another player just because your butthurt that they chose Mercy first. Like it’s not my fault that we failed the game because you three decided to be assholes and make the game not fun. It’s a game for fucks sake, lol. The funny thing is that after the Annie and Emily person messaged me they blocked me. Quite comical I do say, but doing that in the first place was rude and uncalled for.

And before y'all comment or message anything rude to me, I’m not butthurt, just salty and shocked that I received these messages. Just trying to play and have fun like everyone else and earn my achievements/loot boxes, geez.

I’m also not blurring out their gamer tags because they are toxic players and they deserve to be shown to prevent or put a warning out to others playing.

“What are you doing exactly?” [antisepticeye]

34. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” Omg I saw this one and I immediately thought of Anti trying a number of ways to seduce the reader and her just rolling her eyes and giggling. Maybe he tries until he finds her kink? Or he just keeps failing and she keeps laughing (I just envision Anti lying in her bed naked posing, with a pillow on his crotch lol)

this is such a funny/cute/seductive thing to think about lmao

Warnings: it has smut, grow up 

Keep reading

Signs and their laugh

*soundless laugh while gasping and trying to contain stomach*: Aquarius, Aries, Pisces, Virgo

*laughs so hard they probably have abs from laughing*: Gemini, Scorpio, Libra, Leo

*tries to hide laugh but ultimately fails*: Sagittarius, Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer