trying not to be too hard on myself for the differences

anonymous asked:

do you have any words of encouragement for me? I've been trying to write this au of mine for a while now and am completely in a funk despite me knowing the plot and scenes i want to incorporate

sometimes it’s hardest to write when we know exactly what we want to do – i’ve got an au planned out from start to finish and i also can’t bring myself to write it, so i know how you feel. give yourself some space from it, if you need to, but what i would say to do is try and just power through a scene, even if you feel like it’s shit. let yourself at least start writing it, then take a step back and look at it and decide what parts of it are working and what aren’t – maybe what will make it fresh and exciting again is looking at it from a different angle, or changing parts of it you aren’t sold on. it’s not going to get any easier to start something you’re having a hard time with, so don’t feel bad if it’s not any good, because you can always edit it to be better, or scrap it and start over. it’s not a bad thing to do either of those things, because god knows none of us have perfect products the first time we put our pens to paper. funk or no funk, you’ve got an idea worth sharing, and you should let yourself start! i know it’s hard but i seriously know you can do it! 

(also, this is just ambiance, but take the time to make sure you’re in a good space for writing – don’t do it in the middle of the night in the dark when you’re tired, try and sit up straight at a desk or in a chair, have your favorite drink next to you, play some kind of background music or noise to keep yourself focused in, and just let yourself go with the flow.) 

anonymous asked:

im sorry im kinda new to comics, whats the connection between dinah lance and dinah drake? i didnt even know black canary was two different people. did they make her into a one person in new52 and rebirth?

Hey there! That’s okay, the timelines and character can be super confusing, so I’ll try to break it down for you. This might be a bit hard to explain, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask about other things!

(explained under the cut):

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some self-care/mental health tips for the upcoming school year

with school coming soon or already starting for some people i figured i’d share some of my tips for a healthier lifestyle. i know in the past i’ve struggled so much with being good to myself once school starts, both mentally, emotionally, and physically!

keep a clean room 

i know how hard this is. i’m absolutely awful at it, even in the summer but it really makes the biggest difference. coming home to a mess when your life is already stressful and messy enough just makes things worse. i know when i have a clean space i’m way more productive and at peace with my situation.

take a break from social media

just doing this every once in awhile makes the hugest difference. social media is a wonderful world but it’s easy to get caught up in how everyone is doing things without you or having more fun or how someone’s prettier or whatever. it’s not worth it. i’ve learned that just deleting the apps for even a few hours can make my mental state 10x better. it’s important to realize that while people are out doing things all the time, you can never be as fun as all the 162 people you follow combined.

don’t be afraid to invite people out

one of the biggest things i struggle with is being social, simply because i overthink inviting people to do things with me too much and just wait to be invited by someone else instead. remember that even if someone says they can’t do something, it’s not the end of the world. at least you opened up a possibility!!! by being someone who invites others to do things, people will feel more appreciated and like you actually want to hang out with them! but also always save time for yourself as well!

create a self-care routine with motivation

by giving yourself some type of reward to wash your face, brush your teeth and shower, such as only watching your favorite tv show afterwards, it will feel a bit easier to accomplish the tasks that seem simple but can be terribly hard, especially if you suffer from depression. i’ve learned that combining things into one task also makes it easier, such as once you get in the shower, do everything. wash your face, brush your teeth, shave, all in the shower. it makes self-care so much easier.

get outside, stay out of bed

laying in bed is the best thing ever, i know, but it can be so easy to get in there and never get out. this is my biggest bad habit. i feel more productive even just sitting on the couch. my bed is like a black hole of lost motivation. go outside for twenty minutes a day if you can. sunlight makes things a little better and staying inside all day does nothing for you.

do one thing that scares you everyday, big or small.

i’m someone who has struggled with social anxiety for years now, but i’m slowly getting better because i’m making a conscious (and very terrifying effort) everyday. this won’t work for everyone, i know, but it’s helped me a little bit. i try to challenge myself everyday to do one thing that scares me, whether it’s asking someone to do something after school or agreeing to get coffee with a friend you’re not super close to yet, or even just making conversation with someone next to me in class. don’t push yourself too far but don’t make zero effort either.

cut the negative language/mindset

anytime you have a negative thought find a reverse positive. even saying “i’m not happy with how my hair looks but my ass looks great in these jeans” is better than saying “i look awful today”. stop the constant internal bullying! think of it this way, if your best friend said the things you say to yourself, how would you feel? you’re your own best friend, so cut the shit! compliment yourself like you do your best friend. complimenting myself and finding things i find beautiful on my own body even once a day has increased my confidence exponentially. a negative language towards yourself leads to a negative mindset.

find someone who motivates you

if you need motivation to work out, study, anything, find a buddy. having someone to do things with and hold you accountable makes a world of difference. this summer i got together with a friend and made a deal that we would work out 2-3 times a week. it worked so much better than if i had just made that goal for myself because she was always there to text me to ask to workout when we needed to but i lacked the desire. and i did the same for her. now we actually both got a job at a gym together this fall and are working out consistently because we have that mutual  accountability with each other! plus just having someone you enjoy seeing makes doing the hard task more fun!

accept your individuality

you don’t need to look like society’s ideal of beautiful. there’s millions of types of flowers, and just because one kind is pretty to someone, does that make all the others ugly? no. there’s tons of species of dogs too and they all look totally different. is a poodle ugly just because a golden retriever is cute? NO. your individuality is you. everyone is beautiful in the very own unique way. don’t try to look like someone ellse. your beauty is not measured by how perfect your features are. 

drink some fucking water

and eat some food too

understand that a bad week doesn’t mean a bad life

we’re all going to go through those weird ass time periods where it feels like everything sucks and nothing can go right. accept that although it’s pretty bad right now, it won’t be forever. 

good luck with this school year everyone! hope my tips help even just one person. take care of yourselves, kiddos.

Notes to the girl whose house I live in

by reddit user JJX2525

It took me a week to find where you keep your wifi password. A whole week! I was really worried you’d thrown it away, but lo and behold, there it was in the cutlery drawer of all places. Everything about the way you organize things confuses me. I guess because you live on your own now you just put things any old place. I know there was someone else before, I heard you talking about him on the phone. Johnny, I think? Jimmy? Anyway, I know because you said it was tough being alone. But you’re not alone, of course. You have me!

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Rare Collection of 100 Introvert Quotes That Will Make You Feel Understood

Originally posted by water-aesthetics

Dear introverts, it’s difficult to understand you. Many people don’t comprehend that solitude and feeling alone are different things. As an introvert, you know that your solitude is a sacred space where you can recharge. We encourage you to have a look at these amazingly thoughtful and profound quotes, which will resonate with all introverts.

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Harvey Weinsten sexually Harassed Lupita Nyong’o

Lupita: “I have been following the news and reading the accounts of women coming forward to talk about being assaulted by Harvey Weinstein and others. I had shelved my experience with Harvey far in the recesses of my mind, joining in the conspiracy of silence that has allowed this predator to prowl for so many years. I had felt very much alone when these things happened, and I had blamed myself for a lot of it, quite like many of the other women who have shared their stories.

But now that this is being discussed openly, I have not been able to avoid the memories resurfacing. I have felt sick in the pit of my stomach. I have felt such a flare of rage that the experience I recount below was not a unique incident with me, but rather part of a sinister pattern of behavior.

I met Harvey Weinstein in 2011 at an awards ceremony in Berlin, while I was still a student at the Yale School of Drama. An intermediary introduced him to me as “the most powerful producer in Hollywood.” As an aspiring actress, I was of course eager to meet people in the industry but cautious about strangers, and the intentions of men in general. So I tried to vet this famous producer by asking my dinner-table companions what they knew of him. A woman who was a producer herself cautiously advised me to “keep Harvey in your corner.” She said: “He is a good man to know in the business, but just be careful around him. He can be a bully.” And so I exchanged contacts with him in the hopes that I would be of consideration for one of his projects. I wanted to keep things professional, so I made a point of referring to him as “Mr. Weinstein.” But he insisted that I call him by his first name. In this first encounter, I found him to be very direct and authoritative, but also charming. He didn’t quite put me at ease, but he didn’t alarm me, either.

Not long after we met in Berlin, Harvey wrote to me inviting me to attend a screening of a film — a competitor’s film similar to one he had produced. He said we would be watching it with his family at his home in Westport, Conn., which was not far away from New Haven, where I was living at the time. He would send a car to pick me up. I accepted the invitation.

The driver and I met Harvey in the little town of Westport, where he informed me that we would be having lunch at a restaurant before getting to his home. I did not think much of this. It was a busy restaurant, and as soon as we sat down he ordered a vodka and diet soda for himself. I asked for a juice. Harvey was unimpressed with my choice and told the waiter to bring me a vodka and diet soda instead. I declined and said I wanted the juice. We went back and forth until finally he turned to the waiter and said, “Get her what I tell you to get her. I’m the one paying the bill.” I smiled and remained silent. The waiter left and returned with a vodka and diet soda for me. He placed it on the table beside my water. I drank the water. Harvey told me that I needed to drink the vodka and diet soda. I informed him that I would not.

“Why not?” I remember him asking. “Because I don’t like vodka, and I don’t like diet soda, and I don’t like them together,” I said. “You are going to drink that,” he insisted. I smiled again and said that I wouldn’t. He gave up and called me stubborn. I said, “I know.” And the meal proceeded without much further ado. In this second encounter with Harvey, I found him to be pushy and idiosyncratic more than anything.

We got to his home after lunch and I met his domestic staff and his young children. He took me on a brief tour of the house before he rounded us all up in the screening room to watch the film. He had just produced a similar film of his own, but everyone was raving about this rival version.

I settled in for the film, but about 15 minutes in, Harvey came for me, saying he wanted to show me something. I protested that I wanted to finish the film first, but he insisted I go with him, laying down the law as though I too was one of his children. I did not want another back-and-forth in front of his kids, so I complied and left the room with him. I explained that I really wanted to see the film. He said we’d go back shortly.

Harvey led me into a bedroom — his bedroom — and announced that he wanted to give me a massage. I thought he was joking at first. He was not. For the first time since I met him, I felt unsafe. I panicked a little and thought quickly to offer to give him one instead: It would allow me to be in control physically, to know exactly where his hands were at all times.

Part of our drama school curriculum at Yale included body work, using massage techniques on one another to understand the connection between body, mind and emotion, and so I felt I could rationalize giving him one and keep a semblance of professionalism in spite of the bizarre circumstance. He agreed to this and lay on the bed. I began to massage his back to buy myself time to figure out how to extricate myself from this undesirable situation. Before long he said he wanted to take off his pants. I told him not to do that and informed him that it would make me extremely uncomfortable. He got up anyway to do so and I headed for the door, saying that I was not at all comfortable with that. “If we’re not going to watch the film, I really should head back to school,” I said.

I opened the door and stood by the frame. He put his shirt on and again mentioned how stubborn I was. I agreed with an easy laugh, trying to get myself out of the situation safely. I was after all on his premises, and the members of his household, the potential witnesses, were all (strategically, it seems to me now) in a soundproof room.

Earlier Harvey had sent the driver to the store to buy a boxed collection of “The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency,” an HBO show that he had produced. This was the project he thought I would be right for, he said. (I later found out that the show had not been on the air for some time.) As I prepared to leave his home, he presented it to me. He wanted me to check it out and let him know what I thought. He would be in touch about it. I left for New Haven with his driver.

I didn’t quite know how to process the massage incident. I reasoned that it had been inappropriate and uncalled-for, but not overtly sexual. I was entering into a business where the intimate is often professional and so the lines are blurred. I was in an educational program where I was giving massages to my classmates and colleagues every day. Though the incident with Harvey had made me uncomfortable, I was able to explain and justify it to myself, and shelve it as an awkward moment. His offer to me to be a part of the HBO show was a very attractive one and I was excited about it, especially as I would be graduating in another year. I didn’t know how to proceed without jeopardizing my future. But I knew I would not be accepting any more visits to private spaces with Harvey Weinstein.

I decided to invite Harvey to come to a production I was in at school. Perhaps that way he would really see what I had to offer, and he would see my colleagues, too. He accepted the invitation, but the night of the production, he sent a message saying he had been caught up in New York and would be unable to attend. He would make it up to me. So when I received an official invitation to a staged reading of his new Broadway show, “Finding Neverland,” I was not surprised. I was still debating whether I should accept his invitation, and so I responded saying I was not certain that I could make it because of my school schedule. He responded with exactly the words I needed to hear: Come with whomever you want to come with. And so I invited two of my trusted male friends.

We attended the reading, and afterward Harvey invited us all to a restaurant for dinner with his comrades and collaborators. He sat me next to him, and another actress sat across from me. He had my friends sit at a different table. The talk was shop the whole time and Harvey held court with ease. He was charming and funny once more, and I felt confused about the discomfort I had previously experienced. I looked at the actress who I was informed had just worked with him on a project, searching her face for any sort of indication that she too had been made to feel uncomfortable by this powerful man, but of course I saw nothing. We did not stay very long because we had to catch a train back to New Haven. My friends had been equally charmed by Harvey. He knew when to turn it on if he wanted something. He was definitely a bully, but he could be really charming, which was disarming and confusing. I left feeling that perhaps he had learned my boundaries and was going to respect them.

A couple of months later, I received an email from Harvey, inviting me again to New York for a screening of “W.E.” After the screening, we would have drinks in TriBeCa. I then received a phone call from one of his male assistants to arrange my transportation. Feeling more confident about the new sense of boundaries that we had established in our last meeting, I attended the screening on my own this time. Afterward, as planned, his male assistant arranged for me to get to the Tribeca Grill, where Harvey would be joining us. I met a female assistant when I arrived there. I was expecting that it would be a group of us, as it had been for the reading, but she informed me it would just be Mr. Weinstein. She would sit with me until he arrived. She seemed on edge, but I could only imagine how stressful it was to work for a man who had so much going on.

Harvey arrived and the assistant immediately disappeared. We ordered drinks and starters. Again he was offended by my nonalcoholic beverage choice but he didn’t fight me on it as hard. Before the starters arrived, he announced: “Let’s cut to the chase. I have a private room upstairs where we can have the rest of our meal.” I was stunned. I told him I preferred to eat in the restaurant. He told me not to be so naïve. If I wanted to be an actress, then I had to be willing to do this sort of thing. He said he had dated Famous Actress X and Y and look where that had gotten them.

I was silent for a while before I mustered up the courage to politely decline his offer. “You have no idea what you are passing up,” he said. “With all due respect, I would not be able to sleep at night if I did what you are asking, so I must pass,” I replied.

His whole demeanor changed at that point. “Then I guess we are two ships passing in the night.” I had never heard that saying before, so I remember asking him what it meant. “It means just that,” he said. “We are two ships going in two different directions.”

“Yes, I guess we are.”

“So we are done here,” he said. “You can leave.”

We got up, having not eaten anything, and he led me out of the restaurant. My heart was beating very fast. A cab was hailed for me. I said I would take the subway (I could not afford a cab at the time), but he handed me some money and told me not to be silly, take the cab. Before I got in, I needed to make sure that I had not awakened a beast that would go on to ruin my name and destroy my chances in the business even before I got there.

“I just want to know that we are good,” I said.

“I don’t know about your career, but you’ll be fine,” he said. It felt like both a threat and a reassurance at the same time; of what, I couldn’t be sure.

I did not see Harvey again until September 2013 when I was in Toronto for the premiere of “12 Years a Slave,” the first feature film I was in. At an after-party, he found me and evicted whoever was sitting next to me to sit beside me. He said he couldn’t believe how fast I had gotten to where I was, and that he had treated me so badly in the past. He was ashamed of his actions and he promised to respect me moving forward. I said thank you and left it at that. But I made a quiet promise to myself to never ever work with Harvey Weinstein.

Not long after I won the Academy Award in 2014, I received an offer to play a role in one of the Weinstein Company’s forthcoming films. I knew I would not do it simply because it was the Weinstein Company, but I did not feel comfortable telling this to anybody. I turned down the role, but Harvey would not take no for an answer. While at Cannes, he insisted on meeting with me in person. I agreed to do it only because my agent would be present. In the meeting, he was honest about intending to persuade me to do his movie. I told him I simply did not feel it was a role I needed to play. He said he was open to making it bigger, more significant, maybe they could add a love scene. He said if I did this one for him, he would do another one for me — basically guaranteeing backing a star-vehicle film for me. I ran out of ways of politely saying no and so did my agent. I was so exasperated by the end that I just kept quiet. Harvey finally accepted my position and expressed that he still wanted to work with me at some point. “Thank you, I hope so,” I lied.

And that was the last of my personal encounters with Harvey Weinstein. I share all of this now because I know now what I did not know then. I was part of a growing community of women who were secretly dealing with harassment by Harvey Weinstein. But I also did not know that there was a world in which anybody would care about my experience with him. You see, I was entering into a community that Harvey Weinstein had been in, and even shaped, long before I got there. He was one of the first people I met in the industry, and he told me, “This is the way it is.” And wherever I looked, everyone seemed to be bracing themselves and dealing with him, unchallenged. I did not know that things could change. I did not know that anybody wanted things to change. So my survival plan was to avoid Harvey and men like him at all costs, and I did not know that I had allies in this.

Fortunately for me, I have not dealt with any such incidents in the business since. And I think it is because all the projects I have been a part of have had women in positions of power, along with men who are feminists in their own right who have not abused their power. What I am most interested in now is combating the shame we go through that keeps us isolated and allows for harm to continue to be done. I wish I had known that there were women in the business I could have talked to. I wish I had known that there were ears to hear me. That justice could be served. There is clearly power in numbers. I thank the women who have spoken up and given me the strength to revisit this unfortunate moment in my past.

Our business is complicated because intimacy is part and parcel of our profession; as actors we are paid to do very intimate things in public. That’s why someone can have the audacity to invite you to their home or hotel and you show up. Precisely because of this we must stay vigilant and ensure that the professional intimacy is not abused. I hope we are in a pivotal moment where a sisterhood — and brotherhood of allies — is being formed in our industry. I hope we can form a community where a woman can speak up about abuse and not suffer another abuse by not being believed and instead being ridiculed. That’s why we don’t speak up — for fear of suffering twice, and for fear of being labeled and characterized by our moment of powerlessness. Though we may have endured powerlessness at the hands of Harvey Weinstein, by speaking up, speaking out and speaking together, we regain that power. And we hopefully ensure that this kind of rampant predatory behavior as an accepted feature of our industry dies here and now.

Now that we are speaking, let us never shut up about this kind of thing. I speak up to make certain that this is not the kind of misconduct that deserves a second chance. I speak up to contribute to the end of the conspiracy of silence.”


I’m so happy Lupita shared her story and I have so much more respect for her and commend her for sticking by her morals. It’s disgusting that Harvey would even try something with her while his kids were in the other room, what a sick bastard

2

SECRET SESSIONS LONDON - MY STORY💕

13/10/17 (aka THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE)

okay so where do I begin…WOW.
okay so… on Monday October 3rd at 10:25pm, I was sitting on my phone in my room listening to holy ground and I was on twitter and BOOM. “TAYLOR NATION SENT YOU A DIRECT MESSAGE” I STARTED SHAKING AND CRYING WHEN I READ THE CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE I WAS SO CONFUSED BECAUSE THEY DONT EVEN FOLLOW ME (yes I’m still trying to work out technology ok) AND I FLIPPED OUT AND I RAN INTO MY MOMS ROOM SOBBING AND I TRIPPED OVER THE HOOVER BUT ITS OKAY. MY MOM WAS SAYING ALL SORTS OF THINGS LIKE SOMEONE MAY HAVE HACKED INTO TAYLOR NATIONS ACCOUNT (?????? idk). Anyway I died and my mind was a mess and I couldn’t control myself at all, I had knew what it usually meant when people got these messages and I explained everything to my mom ( she is genuinely worst-case-scenario-Christine ) and she started crying with happiness for me. THAT DAY WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED.

The next day October 4th at 5:27pm, I was (trying) to study when BOOM. I RECEIVED THE CALL. Ali phoned and told me about a special secret event on Friday the 13th of October and I was shaking so so much and could barely even talk but she was honestly the nicest ever (I noticed she said “wonderful” about a million times and I’m now so in love with that word). Side note: My mom still wasn’t really convinced this wasn’t a set up to get me kid napped but SHE FINALLY CALMED DOWN A LITTLE AND MEANWHILE I WAS SHAKING, CRYING AND BASICALLY DEAD.

Okay so then it was the waiting game…the days DRAGGED in as I found out a whole 10 DAYS before the event and I saw Taylor lurk people on tumblr/Instagram AND she liked the post about me and my best friend Eve. PEOPLE WERE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT COULD HAPPEN ON THE 13TH AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE LIKE HELP ME WHATS GON HAPPEN.

Fast forward to Friday…so because I live in Glasgow I had to fly to London… I COULDNT SLEEP AT ALL AND I ONLY GOT 4 HOURS SLEEP LOL BECAUSE I GOT UP AT 4AM. We went to the airport and I was genuinely so nervous and excited about what could possibly be happening. We then got a bus and then a tube and wandered about Covent Garden and EVERYTHING kept reminding me of Taylor. We then got a tube and another bus ( NUMBER 13 ) to our hotel. I got really stressed out because I opened up my case and there was makeup spilt on my dress BUT MY MOM CAME TO THE RESCUE AND FIXED IT FOR ME. I curled my hair and fixed myself up then I went to out to the secret meeting point and recognized so many people from tumblr/twitter etc and it was SO surreal. ALSO A FEW PEOPLE CAME UP TO ME AND WERE LIKE OMG ABBIE I KNOW YOU AND THAT MADE ME FEEL SO SO SPECIAL SO I LOVE YOU FOR THAT IF THAT WAS YOU. We checked in and got really cool wristbands saying United Kingdom (IN THE REPUTATION FONT) I WAS ALREADY DEAD.

We went to drop off our bags and me and I met 2 beautiful, amazing girls called Emma ( @taylorsmusic ) and Flora ( @spoookyswift ) and we were FREAKING OUT TOGETHER. We just couldn’t comprehend that we could potentially meet our idol. We talked about everything and I genuinely think I have 2 new best friends for life. I LOVE YOU GUYS. We were on the last bus to leave so we waited foreverrrr and my nerves were building up so much and I was FULL ON ALL OVER SHOOK.

Everyone on the bus was SO EXCITED and we were all dying together. It was such a combination of nerves and excitement like I can’t even describe it. So we FINALLY arrived at our secret destination and were escorted to the entrance to be searched etc (there was a big box of socks for some reason and it made us laugh so just thought I’d add that in and also a few half finished smart water bottles👀).

Okay so then we went through to TAYLORS HOUSE. It was beautiful and there was so much food laid out and I had a REPUTATION COOKIE and CUSTOMIZED REPUTATION M&MS and CHICKEN TENDERS. Taylors playlist of the songs she loves was playing in the background and we were LOVING LIFE. (Side note: my mom loved the olives you put out taylor so thanks for that) So basically me, Emma and Flora were chilling together (we were not chill at all tho) and everything was fine THEN Flora goes “oh my god, that’s Scott” AND IM LIKE WTF AND WE ALL LOOK OVER AND DIE LIKE WHAT WAS HAPPENING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES THE KING OF GUITAR PICS WAS HERE. We went and spoke to more amazing people and life was good…THEN TREE COMES THROUGH AND IM LIKE WHATATSTSS THATS A LEGEND THEN NOT LONG AFTER THAT WE SEE ANDREA AND WE ALL DIED. I CRIED WHEN I SEEN ANDREA IDK WHY IT JUST GOT TOO MUCH AND SHES MY QUEEN. IT GENUINELY FELT LIKE A DREAM LIKE SURELY THIS WAS NOT REAL.

Finally, after a while, we went through to THE LIVING ROOM. YES. A CHAIR. A SPEAKER. WE ALL KNEW WHAT THIS WAS. ME, EMMA AND FLORA HAD A LITTLE SUPPORT NETWORK GOING ON BECAUSE WE WERE ALL HOLDING HANDS BECAUSE WE WERE NOT PREPARED AT ALL. I cried - yeah she wasn’t even here yet and I cried. So anyway THEN I’m like I can’t even do this and my heart is beating abnormally fast. And that’s when she appeared…

I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES. MY ANGEL. MY EVERYTHING. GENUINELY LIKE A METER AWAY. NO WAY. Okay so then I SOBBED even more and I was uncontrollable (I finally did calm down but omg it was so hard I couldn’t stop crying) - thank you Emma and Flora for helping me LOL. Side note: her hair was so curly and pretty and she wore this camo dress thing and SNAKE BOOOOOOTS and a snake ring and yeah I was like GO GURLLL. IN THAT MOMENT I DIED IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

On to the album, obviously you guys understand I can’t say much at all BUT REPUTATION IS MY FAVOURITE ALBUM BY FARRRRR. Like it’s genuinely so different but so genius - it’s incredible. She’s so talented and you can tell she’s worked so super hard for it and I can tell she’s happier than ever through the way she talks and she just seems so content with life and it makes me so proud and happy of how far she’s came. It’s so emotionally complex and THE LYRICS (she’s a genius okay). But there was one song that made me full on SOB and everyone in that room felt something…ANYWAY Taylor herself, during the whole of the session, she was so funny and she’s just so genuine…it was unreal. UNREAL. Some highlights that stand out to me include when during one of the songs she looked right at me for about 20 seconds or so and we just danced and smiled at each other. IVE NEVER FELT SO LOVED IN MY LIFE. To say I’m proud of her for this album is an understatement.

okay so then….IT WAS MEET AND GREET TIME. We were all sitting reading the magazines and talking to each other and it was adorable and even though I was a nervous wreck, everyone was so nice and amazing towards me. When it was time for the picture I was at the waiting point I can’t tell you how I felt. It was indescribable. I seen the 2 girls before me hug Taylor goodbye and it was my turn. I ran up to her and hugged her so hard and she looked at me and went “ITS ABBIE ISNT IT?” AND I WAS NODDING AND I WAS LIKE YEAH ITS ME and she was like “NO WAY I CHOSE YOU LIKE A YEAH AGO LIKE SOOOO LONG AGO” and I was like NO WAY and then I was like “THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE HELPED ME THROUGH, YOU’VE HONESTLY GOT ME THROUGH SO MUCH” and she was listening so intently and she smiled at me and hugged me and we held hands for a few seconds which was BEAUTIFUL and she was like “you are SO beautiful like SO beautiful and you are SO funny like you’re posts are hilarious” and I started shaking and I told her she was like a big sister to me and then we got a really cute huggy picture and then we got one with my mom which was cute and THEN (THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST MOMENT) the camera guy said to my mom “do you want a pic alone with her” and my mom was like “oh it’s okay I’m just her mom” and TAYLOR WAS LIKE" OH WELL THANKS" IT WAS SO FUNNY. THEN I told her I loved her and she was like I LOVE YOU BUDDY and I gave her one final hug before I left which was MAGICAL (I swear we hugged about 27468273 times).

As soon as I left the room, I BURST INTO TEARS I COULDN’T BELIEVE I HAD JUST MET MY IDOL AFTER LIKE 6 YEARS OF LOVING HER AND FANGIRLING OVER HER. My mom went to talk to mama swift and she said to her “thank you so much for making a beautiful, amazing role model for my daughter” and mama swift was like AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH THEN MY MOM GAVE HER A HUG AND THEN I GAVE HER A HUGE HUG AND MAMA SWIFT WAS LIKE THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING HER AND DOING THE CRAZY THINGS SHE MAKES YOU DO AND I CRIED MORE.

WE THEN WENT TO GET OUR MERCH AND GET ON THE BUS AND I WAS GENUINELY STARSTRUCK AND ME AND EMMA JUST KEPT LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND BEING LIKE DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?!?!?!

Taylor,
Thank you so so so much for inviting me to your London Secret Session - it was an HONOR to be there. I can’t believe I was given such a beautiful, amazing opportunity and I meant everything I said to you in there and it truly came from the heart. I love you so much and I can’t wait to hopefully see you on tour. You mean the world to me and I can’t wait to hear reputation again and DIE ANOTHER MILLION DEATHS.
I love you so much girl.

Abbie x @taylorswift

Movies I learned sugar skills from

We all know Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, and Halle Berry are some of the gems we have in movies now. But I’ve watched a lot of movies that helped me gain the sugar personas I had and I want to share some of those with you all.

Girlfriend experience

This is one of the more popular movies for sex workers and it is now a tv series. I personally liked it because I was ending a relationship while I was sugaring and I did feel some of the ways Christine felt.

Another thing I loved about this movie was the documentation and research this girl did on her clients. I use to have a notebook filled with all my POTs and SDs info, status, job info, likes and dislikes, turn ons, etc. My ex stole it a while ago but lucky for me I didn’t write down searchable info, even the names were in code.

I would recommend this as the first to watch before you binge watch sex work movies like I did.

Originally posted by haidaspicciare

Memoirs of a geisha

This is one of my personal favorites because I love the Asian culture when it comes to beauty. The grace, the discipline, and the routine of these woman is really what got me.

When I saw that one look method I was determined to get it to work for me. The Kama Sutra movie below also helped me achieve this. But nothing gets a man across the room faster than an enchanting look from a beautiful woman in their direction.

From this movie I was able to learn how to move more gracefully which is very attractive for men who like “exotic” women. So if you got hips sway them, if you have long legs be swift with your steps, and if your hand are flawless move them like a water bender on avatar (anime joke).

The Treacherous

This movie is very gory so if that’s not your thing don’t watch it. But it does show some intense training for courtesans (old world Asia times).

The seductiveness of these women turned me on so I knew the same methods would turn any man on too. My favorite seductive move is the removing of clothes shown in the beginning scenes where the man challenged the woman to a strip game.

Another scene that showed me a lot of gems was the actual training of the women and how they were to taught to please. I even got some old school hoe tips for my Vag in this movie.

Kama Sutra

Yes it is spelled right and yes it is about using Karma Sutra. If you want a movie example of how some Karma Sutra techniques work then look no further.

This movie showed me how equally important foreplay is for men as it is for us. It showed little snippets of how even feeding can be sensual for men. My favorite tip from the movie would have to be the eye movements of the women while they danced. Those eyes have gotten me compliments from many dance teachers because they could see sexiness in my eyes.

Just look at these eyes:

Originally posted by jillianroses

Etiquette of a mistress

In case you haven’t noticed by now I watch a lot of Asian movies. This one in particular is informative and funny so you’ll really enjoy watching it.

If you’re a sugar that deals with a lot of married men this movie is for you. It shows you how to be properly discrete with your time together and how to deal with the cons of a married man. The best part of this movie is it shows the perspective of a veteran and a newbie, so I know my vets will enjoy this if they or helping any newbies out there.

Wolf on wall street

This is of course on here because of the famous Naomi character that we love so much. Her sharp tongue is definitely needed when you are trying to pass through all the BS talk. But another thing to pay attention to is her physical presentation of herself. Her style with her looks was like devil in a red dress but with diamonds add.

Two can play that game

This one is mostly for my brown SBs who are close to their mid 20s.

In the 2000s this movie was like the black woman’s player guide. I’ve used many of these strategies to get men back on track to what I wanted. My little black dress is still in the closet waiting for the day my fiance acts up.

One thing from that movie I don’t do is flaunt another man because doing that in this world can severe ties real quick.

A lot of people focus on Shante in this movie but I also loved watching Conny too. Mainly because I love Gabrielle Union’s acting especially in Being Mary Jane.

Originally posted by spacecadet

Whoresglory

I didn’t learn much from this movie for my personal gain but I did learn a lot about sex work around the world. So if you’re just interested in a movie that shows you different kinds of sex workers watch this.

Breakfast at Tiffany

I love a good Audrey Hepburn movie because her white woman swag is just as awesome as Marilyn’s. She taught me how to be sweet and

youthful while also being mysterious and unavailable.

Being sweet and youthful is what kept my men feeling lucky to have me. But being mysterious and unavailable at times is what kept them on their toes and more willing do what was needed to “secure” me.

Originally posted by be-holder-com

Show Girls

I’m starting to think I should’ve tried stripping because sexy dancing is one of my favorite things to do. Expressing with my body is like art to me but I was probably right not to strip, I would get addicted.

This movie however made me more glamorous and aggressive when it came to my sexy looks. I never got a chance to see real show girls in Vegas but I’m pretty sure I would be in awe by them. I’ve never been a glamorous person but after this movie I started adding a little shimmer and glitter to my style.

Chicago

Again with the dancing lol, I’m sorry ladies but these women, even with out the dancing were phenomenal. The He Made Me Do It song was an all time favorite for me.

But as far as lessons I started to see how competitive women could be when it comes to money and credibility/fame.

I learned on movies like this how to out smart them when it comes to whales.There have been many new girls who tried taking my main SD away from me but they couldn’t get to my relationship quality. Even when girls did get some dates from other SDs of mine they didn’t last long. So please remember ladies quality and good relationships always wins when it comes to real SDs.

Josephine Baker Biography

My girl next door persona has always got me the most money. So when I saw this biography I started mastering it. Her happy demeanor and tiny voice was so close to mine it wasn’t hard to practice.

What made me the happiest, was that even though she was sweet, innocent, and goofy she was also sensual. She knew how to express her sexuality without taking away from her innocence.

The end of the movie was sad and showed a lot of her flaws but she was still iconic.

Originally posted by barbara-stanwyck

Confessions of a Brazilian Call Girl

I can’t remember if this is based on a true story are not but it’s amazing. Especially with the online social platforms we have now, this movie has been very useful. This woman on here became a high class call girl based on online status alone.

She was also another person I looked to for glam sexuality and showed many women that even average women can dominate the sex world. There were bad parts like her cockiness and drug use but if she would’ve stayed in her grind she would’ve still been raking in millions. One thing this movie can show you (on the bad side) is that you should never try to “Keep up with the Jones” even in the sex world because it’s never greener on the other side.

Call Me: The Rise and fall of Hiede Fliess

If you don’t know Hiede Fliess, look her up now. She’s the greatest when it comes to call girls. The tactics she used to get where she was is amazing. She really knew how to keep connections with her clients and how to get other girls money.

I don’t know what she does now but I do respect the contributions she’s made to the sex work industry. If you’re in LA or Hollywood you should really watch this movie.

Some notable tv women I watch

Joseline Hernandez

She’s so unapologetic about who she is and will get money by any means necessary. Her and Cardi B are like alter egos I wish I had sometimes.

Originally posted by joselinehernandezgifs

Cardi B

She is one of the realest woman I’ve seen on TV and she used what she had to get her fame. Now that she got it she is doing here to the max and I’m happy for her.

Nene Lakes

I can see myself being like Nene when I get older and wealthier. She is a star in many forms and doesn’t let these women or her man interfere with her money. She went from housewife to breadwinner even outside of the show.

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

Whitley Gilbert

I get all my bougie ways from Ms. Whitley lol. Really she was a good representation of a high class but down to earth black woman for me. She started out a little too much for me but after some seasons she grew on me. I’m always a sucker for tiny voiced women because mines is tiny too (Not as annoying as hers).

Tasha Patrick

Now I’m going to be honest I just started watching power but I love this women’s attitude. She’s sexy, ride or die, and also strategically vengeful. I might update this after I finish the show but for now that’s all I have to say.

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

Phaedra Parks

This woman beats me in being bougie and extra. I’ve never seen anyone who goes all out like she does. When I was in college I always wanted to be a like southern belle with curves so when this show came on I was tuned in. If you ever wanted to see an example of a curvy southern belle that can still get a little ghetto, Here she is.



This list is just a few of the many women I’ve watched to perfect my personas.

Now, when I switch my persona it’s not to completely change who I am but helps me adapt to different environments.


For example: If my SD likes to watch football games from his box then I’m not going to go into my prim and proper mode, I’m going to bring out girl next door me.


Depending on what your daddy likes you’re going to be put in different types of atmosphere and if you’re black than your going to need to adapt. The way to more opportunities is by building your credibility which is usually based on how much people like you. You re like an undercover celebrity lol.

Now if you don’t want to change that’s fine but that’s what’s work for me.

I change up like a Johnny Depp Movie role

Originally posted by yourlifeisinsanity

Hope this all was helpful to you ladies.

Much Love T

anonymous asked:

Hey you don’t need to answer this I just wanna let you know that I appreciate your blog and the info you put out. From what I see, you always credit sources. Keep doing what you’re doing ☺️

Thank you dear for being informed and not just jump to conclusions. That aside let me give the ones who do not know how I credit or are new to my blog how it’s done. I included recent posts because it seems even after seeing those some people can’t see it: 

There are many ways to credit, and I credit in different ways depending on the nature of the post. Tumblr has the option of adding the source of the post. That’s how Tumblr asks us to credit and that’s how I do it most of the times. because 1: it makes you find the original post easier as it redirects you to the original owner and thus you can then follow and support them. (post HERE)

I can add their page name + link when it’s an edit or a fansite (lately this is how I have been doing it)

When there are many people to credit I search and try to credit them all (post HERE)

Some people credit by adding links in the words in the caption. I do that usually when I make gifs but not commonly for other posts because Tumblr offers the option to delete a caption when you reblog so putting it in the source is the way I am sure the crediting will never be lost (post HERE

T.N: I learned long ago how to make my own gifs and I use other ones in posts that come from Tumblr’s library and use them legally with crediting

For news too I add the source. So how do we get the info like the one below? There is something called Media relations. It refers to the relationship that BIGHIT develops with journalists. Basically, the communication department in BigHit informs journalists that write an article and that’s how we know. Sometimes some journalist gets the info wrong or tries to gain bad fame by saying lies and make their post popular (yes I know, it’s sad. Some people can’t work hard on their own so they lie and try to use someone’s else name). As someone who gives you updates, I get my info from journalists or trustable armys that got the info from them. When it turns to be untrue, I make another post explaining that it was just a lie. 

This blog offer updates that mostly come from another source. It’s normal I am not the owner of it. It’s like you go to ALLKPOP and tell them, take off all your content it’s repost. Does that make sense? When I posts memes I make sure the name is not cropped away, that’s also the same way people on Twitter credit me (because A LOT of my content end up there too. And not just Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, weibo … ) many of my content end up being translated to many languages too and I get soooo happy when other ARMYs get to enjoy it.

AND For this part of the same person going around saying I am Kboo (they are like 3 people but got all the day to send hate asks. or they send ‘please tell me what is kboo, or they say ‘I heard mimi was getting hate what is it) 

So about this post this person contacted me and I told them the following 

But they still kept going around spreading fake rumors. At the time it was all over the American news that North Korea was going to attack. And Americans were joking about it. Now thinking about it, in the long term and out of that time and context it can be used the way this hater used it. As for the whole post many ARMYs liked it and for a looooong time no one found any problem with it until this person made its meaning turn this way (this is the post btw HERE At the time I received many asks from armys being nervous about BTS going to the bbmas and that’s how the idea came to me to make that post. So we can cheer up and say that everything will be fine )

Just after I answered them and edited my post they didn’t answer me again but they went celebrating saying they have an impact. And they felt important. They never felt bad for any race, they weren’t protecting anyone just wishing for someone to notice them here because no one knows them through their blog never made it. They have been talking about this day and night trying to plot how to bring hate

Their goals are to hate on everyone and make content creators delete their posts. The same content creators that make posts about BTS and updates to help this fandom. This is the one who started it even her name have “ANTI” in it. What did you expect? also she is HOMOPHOBIC (not just against ships) and hate JIKOOK shippers

When she found nothing to hate on and realized pple are seeing the truth she went to attack my dear followers aka a big part of the ARMY fandom in this blog 

Aside from Jikook shippers she says she wants to beat up all shippers. Seriously, guys, this is the person you have been believing. creating an account and turning all our fandom here into a war when we could be enjoying waiting for Mic Drop tmrw

After people called her out for her lies and why she bullies blogs and spread hate and thinks people are dumb to believe every screenshot she puts and paints another color. She changed her URL.That’s what she does. Start inner fanwars and then change her URL like nothing happened. If she was really honest will she do that?

For this post below, it was edited in a way to make me pass for a colorist or something. At the time haters started rumors about BTS saying they were colorists. I made a post explaining the situation. This person didn’t understand my point. At the time I wanted to keep the positivity, and the post who was trying to correct ideas took other proportions about the term so I decided to take it down. To not let the people in the comments feel ‘shut down’ I decided to contact them and told them ‘i will turn the article private/delete it if you want to discuss the situation more I will be glad. One of my followers was happy and we talked peacefully. Another one was no matter what I said had this idea that I was against them. I kept telling them I understand their point and that colorism is bad we should never judge someone on their skin or show favoritism. They used a definition that was not fitting if we wanted to talk about colorism is Korea. I told them I was very pale and was bullied for it in the past so I know how it feels to get treated that way. The discussion with that person was going nowhere, it was like I was talking a wall. So I just told them. I will end the discussion here. But that person took the discussion and edited out to make me look bad. If they read this I hope they post the whooooole thing. 

That person was using this definition. the first one that pops up on google when you write the term and said they did their research

I was trying to tell them that the term today is used both ways. For example in some countries, you are insulted for being pale. but they really edited that out to make me look arrogant. If I was arrogant will I even contact them to ask for their opinion? Why would I care about a comment if I was arrogant? My followers know how I always answer even replies when someone sends me a message I answer them too. Why is it easy to believe lies? That same person received a lot of hate because of that post because at the time people knew what I was talking about and people were telling them to stop their lies. Now they and the people above found each other and started this comedy. That person who edited the discussion was defending and saying how BTS are racist and colorists. Now, look at that plot twist!

Untrue: I made a post explaining the situation that antis used against our boys

I work hard on this blog and I never complain because I love seeing the smiles on many of my dear follower’s faces. I slept 1 hour a night lately because of the recent updates (but I am using a facemask now, that thing IS LIFE). I still had to carry my IRL schedule too. I am someone who loves to spread love. I always invite to respect all religions, races, cultures … I always felt proud to say how ARMY is so diverse and how the love to BTS made us hold each other’s hands no matter where we came from. I will continue being kind and refuse to hate anyone here. When I don’t feel like someone is worth it and I don’t want to see them in my dash I block them (easy peasy). It’s not mean to block someone, it’s mean to start fake rumors and try to bring down a fellow army who is just here to help. My parents thought me to not judge on words or faces or situations. And Just like I wished some months ago my dear Muslim followers ‘Happy Ramadan’ this time for anyone enjoying this beautiful day with dear ones: Happy Thanksgiving guys. I am happy to be part of ARMY and even the dark side of this fandom I embrace it fully, one day they will hopefully listen to BTS’ lyrics and message and learn that bullying is bad. BTS in the past were said to be racist. They were said that they copied all their concepts and music but look at them now. Good people end up going places, bad ones stay in a hole forever.

Ah, tomorrow in Mic Drop Remix right! oooooooh boi I will enjoy it! If you hear someone screaming in excitement tmrw it’s probably me HAHAHAH (this is how I laugh btw I never use KKKKKKK What even is that HAHAHHAHA. I am like a One Piece character IRL tho I have waaaaay better options I laugh in all different ways Hohohoho hihihihi GAGAGAGAG KOKOOOOKO KEKEKEKEEEEE PWAHAHA PWHIHIHI WTH is that HAHHAHAHHA It’s just laughing. OMG this whole situation is stupid - #LOVE YOURSELF #LOVE MYSELF #END VIOLENCE #DON’T BELIEVE ANONS HIDING BEHIND LIES YOU ARE A SMART PERSON USE YOUR BRAIN)

T/N: I have aaaaaall the receipts. I am an inspector ARMY and if you have seen my analysis you will know how crazy detailed I am. Once I start my research it’s insane (find my BS&T jpn vrs analysis HERE and Pied Piper HERE and Not Today that I made just when I created this blog HERE). So me not naming the ones starting those rumors is for two reasons: 1- I prefer to give publicity to artists, writers, amazing content creators … not someone who is untalented and mean. 2- I am into positivity and positive people. I talked to them, and took away all the content that they say made them angry but they still asked me to delete my blog then went after that telling their friends “oh wow look at my impact I made Mimi such a big blog delete” then gathered their 3 friends and wrote anon asks for blogs who unfortunately didn’t check the facts and jumped to conclusions. They also took my words out of context to edit them out just like in the past people did to BTS (the irony). These same people reblogged half of my posts and get all their updates from my blog but go ask people to ignore my content. Basically, they are using everyone, making this fandom fight each other and laugh it out loud.  Will you believe an anon hiding or a blogger that dedicates herself to this fandom? you choose dear ^^ either way. In my heart even now, I hold no hate just a tiny bit of pity toward the ones who live such a life.

I will keep spreading positivity and smiles. I have a very tight relationship with my followers and I believe fake rumors will not break it. LOVE YOU ARMY! LOVE YOU ALL! 

I want to add one little thing: I am a human too, I make my mistakes and that’s how I learn. I never intend or intended to harm anyone and I am remorseful if you felt that way. Truly. In the matters above. I now believe those topics are something I should not tackle easily and I will never make any remarks like that nor touch any of the subjects above. I am just someone who wants to love and help, believe me. I do much social work irl too that if you knew of you will laugh at these people accusing me. Thus, I will learn more and research more on the subjects above and try to educate myself properly on these various matters because I don’t want to be the person who thinks she never does anything wrong. Those people above attacked me and falsely accused me, but this is a chance for me to grow as a person and learn more about the subjects above. Thank you for anyone who is giving me great advice. 

And for the liars that don’t seem to have a life, I dedicate MIC DROP to you “There is no need to meet again (I already blocked you), this is my final goodbye. There is nothing to say, don’t even apologize. You will see you will end up like that. I am piecing, with my mutuals and followers like coke. Your corneas are shocked *MIC DROP* 

ALL LOVE! 

Self-Care for Empaths


As an Empath, I am sure that you occasionally experience draining, exhausting, and hard-to-deal-with spells of overflowing emotions. We build up the energies that we are surrounded by, and this can sometimes be really overwhelming. For me, I get withdrawn and panicked when I am around too many people for too long. It leaves me feeling like I’ve become out of touch with myself, and oftentimes have a hard time getting her to return to me! So, inspired by some asks I have received regarding this topic, I felt compelled to create a list of things to try. Keep in mind that not all of these will work for every person, but I hope that you take with you some inspiration all the same! Without further ado, here are some of my own tips for those with empathetic abilities:

1). Keep notice of your physical health. I know it sounds a bit silly, but something as simple as keeping hydrated can be such a game-changer! If you notice yourself feeling especially drained and emptied of your own emotions, drinking lots of water can be the first step to regaining your own feelings. ♡

2). Take a moment away from the crowd. Have you ever felt especially over (or under) whelmed in regards to your emotions while being surrounded by others? This tends to happen to me a lot and, judging from my own experiences, excusing yourself for a few minutes is very healthy. I often feel a “build-up” of everyone else’s vibes becoming my own, and it leaves me feeling very unlike myself and especially distant. Take some time to be alone in the restroom or to go outside - take deep breaths, ten being your goal. Close your eyes. Center yourself. Gently pinch your skin, squeeze your own wrist, hold yourself. Allow yourself to come back to reality, and to become one again with your own senses. ♡

3). Keep track of your own emotions. As empaths, we obviously encounter so many different styles of basic emotions - we experience unique forms of sadness, happiness, or dread. Why not begin keeping track of what makes *you* feel certain ways? Start a special journal for your emotions. If you are around a certain individual, in a certain place, etc and experience heightened happiness, panic, love, discomfort, what have you… Write it down. Keep track of what makes you feel what. Try your best to notice patterns, and to avoid people, places, or things that leave you feeling negatively, all while welcoming the ones that do not. 😌🙏🏻

4). Practice grounding or shielding. Visualizing methods are not for everyone, but for some, they can very positively influence your state of mind! Take some time alone to meditate and manifest your own personal method of visualization. This could be imagining a golden light surrounding you, acting as a protective shield from others’ vibrations. It could be coming up with a special mantra that you repeat in your head during times of feeling overwhelmed: “I am here… I am real… My feelings are valid, and they are my own.” Practice this technique until you experience draining in real-time, and test our your method during such instances. ♡

5). Lastly… Remember to take time for yourself. Everyone needs to recharge, empath or not. Do not overwhelm yourself with activities or energy. Take a special day every now and then to show yourself some extra love, letting yourself be comfortable in your own presence and allowing the regaining of your own energies. Do something you love that relaxes and rejuvenates you! Focusing on yourself is always the best way to refocus your vibrations, and really embrace what makes you, you. ♡

10 Things I Learned as an Interviewer for the Interviewee

As a fourth year medical students (yikes) I was able to become an interviewer for my medical school. So yes, that means maybe someone I’ve interviewed may one day see this. Though probably not. Anyways, it was very surreal to be on the other side of the process all these years later and while I’m getting ready for interviews myself (anyone want me for residency, btw?)

A lot of expectations and previous notions about interviews that I had really did change and I can see how intricate the process actually is, and I get why we get asked the questions we do. At least somewhat better.                                                                   

All experiences and interviewers are different but here are some things I think can really help out the interviewee. Maybe things you thought were hard and fast rules but aren’t or things you didn’t expect us to be looking for. Anything to help! And while this is directed at pre-meds, the advice should still general enough that anyone can use it, if they want.

Some things to know beforehand; I was part of a two-on-one interview setting which lasted 30 minutes with a few preset questions we needed to ask. The interview was blind, so we couldn’t see stats.

Take a second to observe your interviewers.

This isn’t an open invitation to judge your interviewers, but most of us are pretty telling in the way we present ourselves. If you can take a break for the nerves for a second pay attention to our introductions, our demeanor and how we’re dressed. It can give you a sense of how relaxed or stringent we may be and what our personalities may be like even if we were told to stay stone cold poker-faced. And always keep in mind who your interviewers are and what departments they’re from. It can help guide the tone we set for the entire interview.  

Play off the interviewers.

Now that you’ve taken a moment to take in your surroundings use those to your advantage. If we’re playing tough, answer with strength and intention. If we’re relaxed, don’t sit so stiff and maybe get us to laugh. If you are asked thought provoking questions, take time to think about it and provide thought provoking answers. The more you work with us, the easy and more open a dialog becomes and the more personable the interview will become. It’s a great way to show flexibility and adaptation, and for the interviewers who did this well we found ourselves impressed.

If I’m offering you information, take it.

If I am telling you that I am a 4th year and I can answer your questions about rotations, classes, or student life I am literally giving you questions to ask me in the event you have forgotten all of yours. If faculty tells you which program they are a part of and what they specialize in they are opening that line of information for you. They are telling you were their interests and focuses are and you can run with that, if you like.

Please, please do your research.

We had an application who couldn’t tell us what they liked our school. Had no idea what the mission statement was or what the goals of the school were. Didn’t have a clue. I had to use my doctor face so I could stay neutral. It was bad. I get that you just want to be in medical school but come on. Point blank, there is no excuse for anyone to know nothing about the program they’re interviewing for. You should also have worked out answers for frequently asked questions. Getting stumped on classic medical school questions…it’s a big red flag. So please plan ahead and do your research.  

Pick the length of your answers carefully.

Different types of questions prompt different types of answers. There are a lot of questions that can prompt follow up questions. Hobbies for example; going into every detail about your hobbies is probably counterproductive. But that’s assuming you have a fair amount of things you like to do that aren’t medicine. You can add a snip here and there, like “I’ve done that for 15 years” or “it’s really a huge passion of mine” but if there is interest in hearing more, we’ll most likely ask. If you only have one thing, don’t think “I like running” is a good enough answer. Give us something to work with. There are questions, especially theoretical ones or tell me a story situations that are meant to be longer. And always keep in mind your time limit.

Be confident, not cocky.

There is a huge difference between smug and confident. We had one prospect who gave this shit-eating “gotcha” grin after every question they thought they had aced. It was almost like they were trying to directly challenging me. It got to the point that I stopped caring what they were saying and was just getting pissed. The answers could have been great (they weren’t) but all that stuck with me was the cockiness. Not sure if you do that unintentionally? That’s what practice interviews are for. There are very clear differences when someone was proud of an answer and were pleased, and what this individual was doing. And if you do act that way, personally, I don’t want you representing my school, regardless of what your application looks like.

I don’t care about the “right” answer. I care why.

I know there are certain questions answers that are kind of set in stone. And I know straying too far from say, an ethics question, is hard to do in a new and unique way. The way to make yourself stand out from the crowd is to explain the reasons why you believe this to be the “right” answers since those tend to differ among applicants and shows your critical thinking skills past “well obviously this is the right answer”. Aside from that most interviewers don’t have specific expectations for most questions. We’d rather just hear about you and your personal experiences, honestly.

We’re not always looking for your spoken answer.

Sometimes we’re looking at your body language. I will purposefully ask questions I know there are only a few answers too. Not because I want to know if you know it, but rather how you viscerally respond. Do you look uncomfortable when answering an ethics or grades question? Did you answer robotically? Are you still looking at me? Can you pick yourself back up after a rough question? What you do speaks just as loud as the things your saying and I’m looking for it.

Use your personality and responses to show you want to be here. Not your grades.

This was not an isolated event. I had a few prospective students speak about a class and sneak in “which I got an A in” and continue. Not really a fan of that. I naturally assume that everyone we interviewed had good enough grades and scores because, well, you’re at the interview. At this point in the process all I want if for you to shine beyond those things and prove to me that you can be a doctor on paper and in person.  

Make me feel connected to you.

In the end, I want to feel like I know who you are. I want to know what you stand for and I want to experience the person who wants to become a physician. I want to appreciate your story and how far you’ve come. We don’t need to become best friends, we don’t need to have similar thoughts or values or personalities. But I want to feel like we could understand each other now and in the future. Let me be excited about you and for you. Let me want you to be here so I can check accept.

I hope someone was able to get something useful from this because for all of you here dying to enter this crazy profession I want you to reach your goals. I really do, and I’m just doing all I can on the internet. Good luck to everyone on your interviews!

BTS Reaction▾You crying during a fight

Warnings: Angsty, Swearing, Mentions of cheating, (Almost) sexual assault.


Jin:

Jin slammed the front door as he walked in behind you. “You humiliated her (Y/N)!” He yelled. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. The way you had treated his friend was not going to be tolerated.

“I humiliated her?!” You whipped around. The dress Jin bought for you tonight suddenly burning the skin it covered. “You have no idea who you’re fucking friends are!”

The thing is, today, you were supposed to go to dinner with one of Jin’s friends. He said it was going to be a double date but upon arrival, you found out her date ‘ditched’ her.

You felt sympathetic to her then but it soon turned to hatred as you noticed the lingering glances, the imposing touches, and the way she looked at him longingly. Granted, she didn’t make a hard move on him but what if you weren’t there? Would things have been different? Definitely.

You couldn’t help the jealousy take over you as you suddenly turned cold to her in the middle of your dinner. You gave her curt responses to her questions. The few she bothered to ask anyway. You let your anger bubble over so much that you threw a snide comment at her which was definitely not appropriate for a dinner like this.

“She’s been my friend since I can remember! We’ve known each other longer than you!”

“Has she been in love with you for that long too?” You aggressively took off your coat and flung it to the couch. He clenched his jaw as he looked at the ground in anger. 'He fucking knows…’ You thought.

“What am I supposed to do?! Cut her out of my life?” He looked back up with rage simmering in his eyes, utterly stubborn in backing down in the heat of the moment.

“You know what you shouldn’t do? Introduce her to your fucking girlfriend! She was practically all over you and you didn’t even brush her off! And now that I know you fucking know her feelings for you I-” You choked as a large lump formed in your throat. The tears you tried to hold back slipped past your eyes and down your cheeks. You shut your eyes tight in an effort to make them stop but seeing how they weren’t going to do that anytime soon, you rushed deeper into the house and into your room before locking the door and finally letting yourself let out your frustrations.

You tried to stifle your sobs but you couldn’t. Jin knew about her feelings but still thought it would be a good idea to introduce you to one another? Why was he still friends with her in the first place? The only explanation you could come up with was that he had some lingering feeling for her as well. At that thought, you only sobbed harder into your hands.

Jin only sighed as he realized he needed to give you some space. The both of you were way to fired up to talk right now. He wanted to walk right into the room and hold you in his arms but he knew you wouldn’t let him. He resigned to listening to your quiet sobs as he took up space on the couch and thought about what you said.

You were right. He should’ve have cut her out of his life as soon as he realized she loved him. But he couldn’t. Not when they had known each other since they were kids. He cared for her too much as a friend to cut her off like that. When Jin started dating you, he thought those feelings for him would go away but they didn’t. That’s why he introduced you to each other tonight, in hopes of letting her know that he can’t love her the same way. Especially not when he was in love with you. “Shit!” He let out in exasperation before lifting himself off the couch and walking towards the bedroom door. “(Y/N)… Can we ta-”

“Go away Jin.” Your broken voice was muffled through the door but he heard the utter hurt in your voice loud and clear.

“Please, (Y/N)… Let me explain okay? I’m sorry. Tonight was my fault but that’s not what I wanted to happen. I had you two meet so she would realize that I’m in love with you. I can’t- She’s been my friend for longer than I can remember and I don’t want to lose her as a friend. I thought that maybe if she saw you with me, she would realize that I can’t like her the same way I like you. I didn’t know this would be the outcome.” He let soundless tears drip down his face. “I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t mean it.” He finished as he leaned his head on the door in exhaustion. The fight, the tears, and his confession had taken a toll on him.

He was ready to retire back to his sofa until he was stopped by the sound of the door unlocking and cracking open by you. “Come in here before I change my mind.” You whispered, your voice a little more than hoarse. He rushed in wordlessly and gathered you in his arms, muttering sweet sentences into your neck with an occasional apology thrown in as well. He wasn’t going to mess up like this again. He would make sure of it.

Originally posted by hoseokb


Yoongi:

You jogged across the road as you made your hasty way to Yoongi’s dorm. He’d been in the studio for so long, you knew he hadn’t found the time to eat. Usually, you had Hoseok keeping an eye on him but the guy had decided to take advantage of his break and visit his family. That’s why you’d taken his place in caring for Yoongi. He didn’t seem to mind it really. You fed him and kissed him goodbye before he would continue his work in good spirits.

Though today was a little different. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t put lyrics down on a paper. He had a week and a half till his break would end and he would yet again find no time to write lyrics, He’s been staring at the blanks screen for the past three days. It didn’t affect him much the past days, but with the deadline looming near, his stress levels were at an all-time high.

“Yoongi, I got you lamb skewers!” You said as you plopped the takeaway bag on the only free chair. “C’mon babe, let’s eat. You didn’t even get breakfast in the morning.”

“Later (Y/N). I still have work to do.”

“You’ve been holed up in this room for the past three days. I’m sure you can take a break.” He chose to ignore which caused you to sigh, walk up to him and shut his laptop screen.

“What the fuck (Y/N)?” He snapped as he looked at you for the first time since you entered.

“You need food,” You tried to not let his tone affect you but he’s never spoken to you like that. “You’ll get back to it better if you go back to in with a full stomach.”

“Holy shit (Y/N)! Stop babying me!” He suddenly yelled as he got off his chair. “Stop being such a fucking nag and leave me alone! You’ve been here all day every day for the past few days and it’s getting annoying!”

“I’m only here because you neglect to taking care of yourself.” You tried to keep your voice low and steady. You folded your arms in hopes of not looking so intimidated by him even though you had your head ducked, eyes trained on the floor.. Truth was, he scared you like this. Never did he ever raise his voice at you and doing so right now struck a chord with you.

He groaned as he looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop himself from yelling even further. But when he spoke, his volume was still just as loud.“I’m not a child. Fuck off. I’ll eat when I want to. God, you’re so fuckin-” He stopped mid-complaint as he heard you sniff. You hadn’t wanted him to notice you just started crying but you stupid nose had to start running too. You quickly wiped your tears and tried to stop but they kept running down your face.

“I’ll just leave you to it then,” You’re voice was tame “I’m sorry.” You quickly turned around to head out, but his voice stopped you.

“(Y/N) wait.” He called out. You slowly turned back towards him and looked at him. He looked apologetic. He knows he pushed it too far. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be. Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You’re only trying to keep my ungrateful ass alive right now.” He walked towards you and held your right hand in his left. Grazing his thumb over your knuckles, he tried to comfort you the best he could while still giving you enough room to pull away if you wanted to. “Why don’t we leave the place? Go to a restaurant? Eat together. Or if you don’t want to, I could drop you off home.”

You mustered a small smile and nodded. “You sure you want to?”

“I want anything and everything with you.”

Originally posted by minshoot


Hoseok:

“You told me we would meet your parents. You promised!” You tried to reason. This was the fifth time Hoseok had backed out of introducing you to his parents, and honestly, you’d had enough. “What the hell is the problem?”

“Nothing! I just don’t want to introduce you to them yet! Can we drop the subject?” His voice was still level but you knew there was a lurking frustration behind his tone.

“No. I’m not going to drop this. Hob, tell me why the fuck I can’t meet them?”

“Because I said so!”

“You said so? That’s the most childish response you could’ve come up with!” You yelled back. You furrowed your brows and pinched the bridge of your nose to control your tears from falling. Fighting with Hoseok always drained you and this time was no different. You sighed as you lowered your voice to speak again. ”Hobi… Please tell me. I’m beginning to think you don’t want me to ever meet them.”

“I don’t! Are you happy now? I don’t want them to meet you! Especially when you’re being a whiny and a nagging bitch being like this. How the hell am I supposed to introduce my parents to someone like you!? Are you kidding me?” As soon as his outburst ended, he immediately wanted to swallow back his harsh words.

You bit your lip to steady the trembling. “I-” You wanted to say something. Anything. To defend yourself or even just to hurt him just as he did with your words but a hard sob wracked through you as you broke down in front of Hoseok, right in the middle of your fight.

“Shit,” He snapped out of his angry stupor and rushed to you, attempting to pull you into his arms and apologize. You let him wrap around you as you sobbed into your hands in shame of not being able to control yourself around him. “Shit, baby. I’m sorry I-” He choked on his own words as tears escaped his eyes as well. “That’s not true. I promise. Baby, I love you and I’m a dick for saying that. Please don’t cry.”

“I hate you Jung Hoseok.” You managed to get out before another sob broke out of you.

His arms around you only tightened before adjusting to pick you up bridal style and walking you to the bedroom. You don’t know why -and neither does he- but you don’t make so much as a peep as he does.  He walks in and sets you on the bed and climbs on beside you, pulling you so that his chest is pressed up against your back and his head is resting on top of yours.

“I’m sorry Jagiya… I- I can’t let you meet my parents yet because I’m scared. I know that’s not enough justification for calling you what I did but I’m scared that once I do, they might not get along with you. And I can’t handle having the people I care about not being able to like one another. I love my parents but I love you too and I’m torn.”

You clench your fists that are laying in front of you and clench your jaw to calm your blabbering sobs but to no avail. “Do you have that little faith in me? Why can’t you trust your parents to like me? Do you really believe your words to be tru-”

“No. Shit, never okay? What I said was a dick move. I promise it won’t ever happen again.” He suddenly placed a kiss on the top of your head. “I promise I’ll make it up to you. Okay? Just- Shit, please, can you find it in you to forgive me? If not now than later?”

“Of course you asshole. I ca-” Your sobs had finally calmed down enough for you to actually answer him but your voice was still hoarse. “How the hell am I not? I love you too much. Way too much.” Maybe you’re naive in forgiving him. Maybe it would be in your best interest to leave the warmth of his embrace and leave your shared apartment. But with every breath of his that synced with yours, your mind only chose to give your heart the reins to this situation and let you stay snuggled up against him

Originally posted by wonhobe


Namjoon:

You finally organized your scrambling thoughts and kicked your knee right to his crotch. Hard. “Oh fu-” The immense pain cut him off as he let you go and cupped a protective hand over his groin to protect it from further damage. He dropped to the ground and let out a string of expletives.

“Don’t touch me.” Your voice finally found itself and you whirled around to look for Namjoon and go home, but to our surprise, he was stood right in the middle of the hallway. “Joon-”

“Let’s go.” He simply said while grabbing your hand and leading you away from the scene. His grip was tight but in no way had it made you feel panic like the other man’s did.

He led you to the car and let you in the passenger door, then jogged his way over to the driver’s seat. Once he started up the car, you realized he had no intentions of waiting up for Hoseok nor Jin. “Joon, you can’t leave them behind.”

You could see his jaw clench before he turned to you with anger written all over his face. “What the fuck was that stunt you pulled back there?” His voice was sharp as he questioned you.

“I-” You tried to come up with an excuse, but the truth is; you had none. He knew you were only trying to make him jealous so it was embarrassing as it was already. The situation would’ve been comical if it weren’t for the fact that you had almost been assaulted in the most heinous way.

“Say something! Use your words (Y/N)!” He yelled impatiently. You couldn’t bear to look at him any longer so you diverted you diverted your gaze to the shift stick instead. Namjoon sighed in annoyance as he realized your reluctance to talk. “That was childish and foolish of you. You should be glad you brought him down because I was this close to sending him to the hospital with broken bones. You’re smart! How in the fuck did you think it was a good idea to go somewhere private with that asshole? Or were you not thinking at all?”

“I- I wasn’t.” You finally spoke up, still keeping your eyes trained away from his. “I didn’t know it would go this far and I-” Your voice broke right then as tears made their presence known to you by wetting a trail down your cheeks. No matter how tight you shut your eyes, the just wouldn’t stop. At least Namjoon was still oblivious to the wetness on your cheeks.

“Did you not find anything suspicious about him? Hw was drunk for fuck’s sake! What if something happened to you? You were the sober one.”

“So that excuses his actions?” You whipped your head up, the previous guilt replaced with anger. Your vision blurred with the new onslaught of tears but your voice held up. Namjoon was just surprised you had actually been crying. “He was larger than me, stronger, and fucking stubborn. I tried to move away from him. On multiple occasions! I even tried to motion you for help but you weren’t looking our way! He was the one who dragged me away and I can’t believe I’m having to defend myself to you of all people! I thou-” And that was it. That’s all you got out before actually breaking down.

Shit. He didn’t mean to make you cry. He just got scared and let his emotions take control over his words. He dropped is angry facade and breathed out to calm his nerves. “(Y/N) I- I wasn’t thinking.” His voice was quiet, stark in contrast to mere moments ago. He let our sobs die down before he placed a comforting hand on your thigh and rubbed soothing circles. “I had no right to say what I did. Please forgive me?”

“It’s fine.” You replied, still sniffing. “I shouldn’t have tried to make you jealous in the first place.” You placed a hand on his on your thigh. His touch was comforting and it did wonders to ease you.

“Just- Let’s not do that again. As much as I enjoyed the sight of you crushing his precious jewels, there’s no way I want anyone touching you like that again. Especially without you wanting them to.”

Originally posted by choke-me-namjoon


Jimin:

You don’t know what ended you here. One moment, you guys were cuddled up on the sofa, and now you’re sitting as far apart from each other as possible as tempers flare. You know he said something that annoyed you and you countered with something just as irritating to him. “Why the hell do you have to be this way? It’s been so long since we’ve been with each other and you pull this shit?” He quipped after you tried to give him the silent treatment.

Your jaw ticked as you heard him. Silent treatment be damned. There was no way he was going to pin this on you. “Me? You’re the one who started this! Everything was fine until you opened your mouth.”

“It was a joke! Why are you being such a stuck up bitch?”

“Why do you have to be such a douche?” You knew it wouldn’t be long till you would be crying. You never liked fighting and even though you never let words affect you, fighting with someone you loved so much always ended you in a mess of tears.

“I wasn’t a douche until you were.” He bit back.

“Fuck you Park Jimin. I’m done.” You clenched your jaw shut as you lifted yourself and tried to grab your coat and leave the apartment, but Jimin’s hand wrapped around your arm and pulled you back, forcing you to look at him.

“We’re not done (Y/N)! Why the fuck are you overreacting?” He’d significantly calmed his tone down but only because his mind scrambled after seeing you threatening to leave. But he was still mad.

“Just leave me alone.” Your voice trembled as you tried to pull out of his grasp but his grip was firm. His brows furrowed at how your voice sounded so meek but his mind couldn’t comprehend it.

“No. You can’t just fucking run away from your problems. Stop being such a coward.” That was the tipping point. You tried hard but the dam broke and let your tears run loose. You turned your head away since that’s all you could do to protect your dignity with Jimin’s grip on your arm. “Shit, (Y/N)?” His anger switched to concern as he forgot the fight and gathered you in his arms. “Please don’t cry. Damn, I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m sorry.”

You guys stayed like that until your sobs reduced to small whimpers and your tears had completely ruined the front of his shirt. “I- I hate th- this.” You whispered into his chest after a long bout of silence.

“Me too. I’m sorry baby. Let’s forget the fight. Fuck that. You mean more to me than my ego. I’m so sorry. Let’s never do that.” He replied as he tightened his arms around you, refusing to let you go as if you would truly leave once he did let you go.

“I’m s-sorry too. This wasn’t just on you.”

“Doesn’t matter who it was on. Just promise me you won’t leave me.” He let out.

You pulled back a little to look up at him and noticed his own eyes were harboring tears. “Never. I could never do that.” You softly reassured him as you pecked a soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll always be with you.”

“I hope you mean that because I’m gonna get clingy from here on out.”

Originally posted by kthspjm


Taehyung:

You knew something was off as soon as you got in the car with Taehyung after a dinner with old friends. Your friends had wanted to meet him and his wanted to meet you so you both decided to host a small dinner at a slightly remote restaurant so they could all meet one another. You guys had gotten serious with each other in the past year and a half that you started dating.

You thought the entire thing went off without a hitch but it never occurred to you how irritated Taehyung was the entire night. “Tae?” You called for his attention, which only had you receiving an annoyed grunt in response. “Something happen?”

“No.” His tone was clipped as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. You decided to drop the subject till the both of you got home because you didn’t want to distract from actually driving. That didn’t mean you were taking this lightly. He must know how his little treatment was driving you up the wall. He knew how much you hated the silence between one another.

Once home, Taehyung dragged himself straight to bed, not even bothering to change into pajamas. “Tae… At least get changed.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Okay, what’s going on? Why are you being so snippy?” You demanded answers. At the start of the relationship, you promised each other that you’d never go to sleep angry at each other, and he seemed mad at you right now.

“Nothing alright?” He quipped back, still laid on his stomach on the bed as you bit your lip. “I’m tired and you’re really making me mad right now.”

“You’re already mad! Just tell me what happened!”

“You! You happened!” He snapped as he whipped around and sat up on the bed with his knees tucked under him. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“Notice what? I did nothing!” You defended yourself.

“Not yet.” He muttered as his fists that were on his knees were clenched tight.

“You’re making no sens-”

“You were basically eye-fucking him! There! Happy? I saw you flirting it up with Jimin right in front of me! Your hand was practically stuck to his fucking arm the entire night.”

“Wh- How could you say that? I would never do that to you! You’re blowing this way out of proportion!” You really were baffled at how easily he came to this conclusion. You knew Jimin, and you always teased Taehyung about how ‘hot’ Jimin was but you never realized he would be pushed to considering this.

“How could I not? You told me how much you thought he was hot. Am I wrong to assume you were flirting with him the entire nig-”

“Shut up.” You interrupted, not being able to hear him say further. “This is what you think of me? Some cheap girl who hops onto the next guy right in front of her boyfriend just because she thinks he’s hot? I love you, you asshole!” You asserted as tears slipt past your cheeks. “I’m going to go over to my friend’s. Stay at her place until you get your head together and can actually talk to me without flinging accusations at me.” You sniffed before running out the door and leaving a stunned Taehyung behind.

His tense posture slumped as he heard you slam the front door and let himself think with a cool mind. Shit, you were right. He let his jealousy get the best of him. His heart raced as he thought of what to do and suddenly jumped off the bed and chased after you. He flung the front door open and saw you still waiting for the elevator you called with your coat slung over your arm. He ran to you and hugged you.

You lost your footing a little and if it wasn’t for Taehyung holding you in his arms you would’ve dropped. “Tae-”

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t know what came over me but I couldn’t stand it. You always teased me about how you thought he was good looking but tonight, it struck me how good the both of you looked at each other. I’m sorry for making such baseless accusations and I swear I won’t ever do it again but please don’t leave. I can’t see you leave. Not now nor ever.” He finished, tears of his own wetting your shoulders but it only made you lift your arms and wrap around him in an embrace. You had no intentions of letting go. Just like he wanted. Not now nor ever.

Originally posted by taemybae


Jungkook:

It’s not fair. He can’t treat you like that and still expect you to be there.

“Why did I leave? I was there for almost two fucking hours Jungkook!”

“I got there! I got there just I soon as I could okay? I had an emergency meeting and I tried to text you but I couldn’t find my phone.” He tried to keep his voice steady but he was angry. If he only calmed down and stepped back to think about it, he would realize that he was in the wrong this time.

“You could’ve told me using someone else’s phone! That’s not even the damn problem! This isn’t the first time you’ve done this. Especially during the past few weeks. Setting up a damn date and either coming late or bailing out on me entirely. I’m fucking tired Kook. I can’t do this shit anymore. Now you’re home and blaming me for not having waited longer than I already did? Are you kidding me?”

“I’m sorry my life doesn’t revolve around you (Y/N)! I have work to focus on.”

“Then why the hell do you promise me things you know you can’t keep?”

“Promises break (Y/N). Gosh, why the hell do you have to be so annoying sometimes?”

He’d done it. The entire time, you’d held your tears back but he knew how you felt about that word. It sucked ass. Your vision became blurry as you let yourself cry right in front of him. All the anger and frustration he’d directed against you was immediately dropped and in the place of it came immediate regret. How the hell did he let himself go as far as to make you cry?

He tried to come near you but one step near earned him two steps back from you. “I- Shit… I’m sorry.” He said, feeling his own lips trembling. He sighed when you turned away from him and tried to stop your cries by plated a hand over your mouth but it was of no use. He still heard them and they still pulled at his heart. “I- I’m going to go for a walk. Let us clear our heads. I promise we’ll talk about this. This time I mean to keep my promise. Just- Please forgive me.” Is all he said before slowly walking out the front door.

For now, this is all he could do. Let the both of your minds calm with some distance between the two of you. He knew you’d forgive him. He just had to make sure this would never happen again. Ever.

Originally posted by jjeonguk


MASTERLIST

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long to put out. I’ve been having some personal issues and I need to sort through them. I promise I tried my best to get this over with as quickly as possible while still putting out something I’m satisfied with.

Imagine being Dean’s daughter and announcing to him that you are dating Jack.

“Him?” Dean’s rough voice broke the heavy silence that had set between the two of you “You are dating him?” he all-but-growled as he stared deeply in your eyes.

“Well, I- I wouldn’t say exactly dating yet, he’s not that familiar with the term and I’m-”

“Yet?!” Dean exclaimed, his voice coming slightly high-pitched “Yet? You mean this will keep going on?!”

“Well, yes dad of course it is!” you huffed, rolling your eyes “That’s why I am telling you, because this is actually important to me. And maybe Jack doesn’t quite understand the terms yet but I know that his feelings are real, that all of this between him and I is real as well.”

“Which again brings me back to my original question: Him?!” he looked at you with so much shock it made you groan and cross your arms over your chest.

“Will you try to be a little less surprised, please? I thought you’d be a little less shocked at your daughter-”

“Dating the son of Lucifer? Oh yeah!” he cut you off full of sarcasm and a hint of angst “Why the hell would I ever mind that (Y/n)?!”

Keep reading

Critique, the oily beast

Hi, it’s me again.

Below is a text of personal opinions that I’ve decided to share, concerning a downside of constructive criticism, and it might read as an angry rant. I apologize for that. Before I begin, I also want to point out that I’m not targeting anyone specifically. What I am doing is sharing my views on a behaviour that I’m not fond of. Parts of it is tongue-in-cheek, but the subject might be touchy. Wall of words after the cut, if you want to read it:

Keep reading

Multiverse Lovers - Part Two -Stiles Stilinski

Title: The Happenings of Beacon Hills

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Reader

Word Count: 8,436

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Public Sex, Jeep Sex, Fingering, Hand Job, Making Out with Stiles because who wouldn’t?, Feeling, Sexy Massages, Dirty Talking, Orgasm Denial, Multiple Orgasms

Notes: Prepare your holy water, because it’s about to get real. 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

The jostling of the moving car bumped you left and right, the almost inaudible chug of the engine the first sound you could make out. Your eyes clenched tightly, a small stream of sunlight hitting them through the window. Your mind was slow to process what was going on and where you were, the worn leather of the seats making your back sweat profusely.

Wait, you thought to yourself, your eyes cracking open to stare at the roof of the vehicle above your head. Why am I in a car? The last thing I remember was falling asleep on the roof…

You sat up startled, glancing around at your surroundings hoping to figure out where you were and what was going on. A million thoughts were running through your mind, none of them making any sense. You glanced out the window in front of you, watching the trees pass by. You were in a moving vehicle, make and model unknown, person driving it most likely having kidnapped you.

“Glad to see you are finally awake,” the driver spoke. You glanced at the person, meeting their eyes through the rear-view mirror. The male’s honey brown eyes sparkled in the sunlight, but more than familiar to your well-trained eyes. “Did you have a good nap?”

Your mouth fell open, not believing what you were looking at.

Stiles Stilinski is right in front of me. What the fuck?

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The Dozens of Times Eddie Kapbrak Came Home, and the One Time He Didn’t

(A Story in Sonia’s POV)


–There was the one time Eddie came home angry. Slamming doors, cursing under his breath. I was upset at the language, but more worried he’d catch a little finger, or a toe in the cabinets or doors. I asked why and he pushed me away. He had always been doing that lately. Am I being too much of a worrier? Maybe I am. He’s older now, and doesn’t need me as much. As much as that hurts to admit, seventeen is old enough to be independent. 


–He came home crying again. He’d been doing a lot of that, too. Something was different. He came to me for once. I was selfishly happy, but that left me when I saw him. He had a bruise under his left eye. His lip was cut, and his hands were shaking and red, a sign that he’d had a panic attack again. Those signs used to be foreign to me until he told me those weren’t asthma like I had thought for years. I’d like to think of myself as an almost expert on them now. The only thing hard for me to tell anymore is what might cause them. He has them so often. Eddie comes to me, and sits down, panting. He looks worn down and sad and resigned, as if he’s accepted a heavy fate, or like he was waiting for a piano to fall on him. 

This time when I ask him what’s wrong, he crumbles and starts to cry again. He tells me Henry and his psychopath friends cornered him in the locker room, and roughed him up. He shows me his ribs, and I see red. Partly the dried blood, partly rage. That little freak carved the word “Fag” into Eddie’s little side. It takes everything in me not to take him to the hospital, but Eddie insists he cleaned and dressed it as much as it needed, and it wasn’t deep, no stitches needed. I prayed with everything in me that it wouldn’t scar. When I asked him why they would choose that word, he becomes silent again. He seems to be trying to find the right words to say, and eventually he does. He tells me, stuttering more than the elder Denbrough boy, that it’s because they saw him kissing Richard Tozier. I had nothing to say, and he goes to his room before I could find the right words. I did eventually, over dinner. I tried to make a lighthearted joke, and said he could do better than little Richie Tozier, and that I loved him. He did laugh, but he also cried. This time it was the good way. 


–One time he came home excited, his feet barely touching the ground as he ran upstairs. I called out to him to get the door, but he was down just as fast heading out again. His cheeks are pink and his eyes are bright, and I can’t help but to think that just a few months ago this same boy was crying in shame over what had happened. He was a lot happier in general, due in part I suppose to coming out, but mostly Richard. Richie, Richie this, and Richie that. I almost wanted to tell him I was tired of hearing it, but his happiness wasn’t something I could get tired of. Despite being a trouble maker and a bad mouth, he did take care of Eddie. I did tell him to stop coming home with love marks- unsanitary and shameless little things. I tried not to think about the fact that he still probably got them where I couldn’t see them. He may be an adult next month but he’s still my little angel.

He tells me he’s finally going out on a real date, just the two of them. That they’re going to see a movie, and he tells me not to wait up. I know I’ll try to, but he always manages to come home after I fall asleep. Sneaky little boy. He tells me he’s already left the name, address, and number of the movie theatre on the counter, and that he’ll be with Richie who can be reached as well. I have his number in my Rolodex, as I do his parents, and the rest of his friends- you never know when you might need them. He kisses my cheek and practically skips out to the beat up truck Richard drives. It has a bench seat and the driver seatbelt doesn’t work most of the time, and I cringe thinking about Richie just sitting on it so he doesn’t get a ticket for not actually wearing it. Eddie promised me he’d never drive it, so at least there’s that. 


–He came home today, silent. It’s almost worse when he does that instead of crying. Eddie was pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes. I asked if he was okay, and he just stares at me. It feels like an eternity when he opens and says “The school won’t let Richie and I go to prom together… They said if we showed up they’d kick us out.” His voice sounds so fragile and small, like he doesn’t feel like a real person. I’m furious. I tell him I’ll call the school, but he begs me not to. He says it’s okay, he knew it would happen, that this is just the way things are. I, however, will not stand this. As soon as he goes to his room, I call his principle. I can’t remember exactly what I said, though I am equal parts embarrassed and proud to have used foul language in place of his name. “Mr. Shitstain” and I came to an agreement that they may attend as long as they are within a larger group. He will not allow them to have couple’s pictures, but he did reluctantly allow that they dance together. I tell Eddie in the morning and he cries and hugs me. He goes to Richie to give him good news. 


–He comes home after prom with a photo- the whole group is in it, all holding a sign that says “Loser’s Club”. I cringed at the name, but they chose it for themselves years ago. Eddie and Richie are next to each other, and I suppress an eye roll that Richard had ripped open his shirt to reveal an exclamation point painted on his pale abdomen at the last moment. The picture is slightly blurred, and Eddie confirms my theory when he laughs and says the camera guy was startled and tried to lunge at Richard to put all of his clothes back on. Despite this, I see the stars in his eyes. He is happy, so I am happy. 


–Lately he’s been coming home with heaps of papers, college letters, essays, SATs, tests. I try not to think about him leaving. I turn up the volume on the TV or the radio when he uses the phone to talk to his friends about it. It hurts and he knows it hurts. I’ve never been good at not worrying. This goes on for weeks. I fail to keep my tears in when he’s at school or out with friends, but at the same time, I’m immensely proud. He’s such a good boy. 


–This time he comes home, and he doesn’t say a word, and I can’t see him from the kitchen but I know something is wrong. His feet are dragging and his breathing sounds funny. I drop the spoon into the soup when I hear a crash. He’s laying on the floor and crying. Despite him being curled up in a ball I can see he’s covered in bruises and cuts, and bleeding badly. I try not to scream but when I rush to him I can’t hold it, he’s been cut up badly again, more words carved into his soft belly and his thighs. I can see the word “Queer” seeping through his khaki pantleg as he sobs. This time, he does need stitches. In many places. The only thing he says to me from the hospital bed is that he is oh so tired of this town. Richard never leaves his side, growling at anyone who causes him pain or wakes him up, like a wild animal. I’ve decided that I am incredibly grateful that he is who he is. 

He’s in the hospital for three days. Night one was cleaning and stitching and recounting what happened. The police had been called to file a report. He hesitantly confesses that Henry, Patrick, and the other cretins did this to him. Chief Bowers is red with rage. I hear him in the hallway calling my son a “flamer” but that his boy was “going to get it”. This is the first and only time I’ve yelled at a cop. Richie laughs and holds up his hand for a high five, something I wouldn’t usually reciprocate, but tonight is a night of firsts. Night two was observation and tests to see how bad the internal injuries might be. He has a concussion, but they found no internal damage aside from bruises and a cracked rib. They send him home wrapped in Ace bandages and taped up like Richard’s glasses. That night he tells me he needs to leave, that he can’t take this anymore. I’m angry, and admittedly irrational. We do not speak to each other for a week. 


–When we speak again, he walks in the door with Richie, William, and Michael. Out of his friends, Michael is my favorite despite where he lives being so messy. He brings me flowers and fresh fruits and vegetables. He washes them himself, but only once he gets here so I can see it. He’s a very well mannered and intelligent man. William is wonderful too, but I feel guilt in having trouble understanding him, and he has a habit of talking with his mouth full. He’s not as messy as Richard, so at least there is that. Eddie has healed nicely so far, most of the stitches are out already, and the scars he has, though sadly legible, are hidden under clothes. His lip and eyebrow have small scars, but they are hard to notice. The boys have folded boxes in their hands. I knew this was coming, but I still couldn’t bear it. I stubbornly told him I wouldn’t help him, and that I wouldn’t watch him either. He only nods his head, looking down. 

They pack up his belongings, and I step out into the yard, smoking my first cigarette in years. I swiped one from the Marsh girl months ago, when Eddie was starting to talk about college. I thought that was the worst, but this hurts more. He’s leaving too soon, and I can’t stop him. He promised me he’d finish high school, and go to college, but that he would not live here, in Derry. Because we weren’t completely speaking, I have no idea where he’s moving, and now I’m too embarrassed to ask. When I go back inside, William hands me a piece of paper, his handwriting surprisingly neat, with Eddie’s address, and number. He was moving just outside of the city, into the matchbox apartments. With Richard. I can’t help it. When he walks out of the front door with his things, he kisses my cheek. I can’t help it. When the car drives away, their silhouettes in the windshield. I can’t help it. I sit down on the porch, and I begin to cry. I can’t help it. 


–He doesn’t come in the door anymore. Not the way he used to. No angry slams, no excited pops as the door hits the wall. No silent entries when he’s tired. No little footsteps. He doesn’t come home. He visits, sometimes with Richard, and with his friends. He calls frequently, too. He’s a good boy. Time passes, and he came to visit after graduation. He got accepted to a college in Maine. I try to hide how happy that makes me. I promise I won’t go to the dorms too much. He and Richie talk about their lease ending and moving on campus. His little group of friends are trying their best to stick together. They all got accepted to the same school, and will try to attend until their majors take them elsewhere. It’s nice knowing that he’ll have so many friends. 

He doesn’t come home, but he visits. Holidays he even stays in his old room. Sometimes. Other times he stays with William in his new house, just down the street from mine. Sometimes they visit Richie’s parents, or Michael’s farm. It’s a lot like it used to be, but it isn’t the same. I know it never will be, and while I’m sad, I’m happy too. He doesn’t come home, but he gets married in the same church I was married in. They make the paper as the first same sex couple to get married in Derry. Someone booed them as they walked to their car, but before anyone said anything, Richard flipped them off. I don’t tell Eddie, but I caught it on camera. It’s framed in my room, shameful but endearing. He doesn’t come home, but he visits often, asking for advice. We’ll have lunch together and talk about stain removal, and he’s picked up cross stitching for Richard’s anniversary gift. He’s going to make a sign that says “Tozier-Kaspbrak” for their sitting room. 


He doesn’t come home, but he visits often. Many times with Richard, and even more happily with their new daughter. I’ve always wanted a daughter, so I spoil her rotten. I try not to be so overbearing as I was with Eddie. I know it had the wrong impression on him, and I don’t want her to feel the same. I give her sweets when they aren’t looking, and I teach her all about keeping a good home, and let her watch football with me when they need a babysitter. Eddie doesn’t know, but sports are a guilty pleasure of mine. I want her well rounded, too- to know that girls can like whatever they please. Her name is Amelia Isabelle, and she grows so fast. He doesn’t come home anymore, not like he used to. And I’m so, so grateful. He’s leading a good and proud life, and I’ve never been more proud to be the mother of Edward Tozier-Kaspbrak. He doesn’t come anymore, but when he visits, it’s like he never left at all. I’ve lived a good little life, I feel.



“Sonia Kaspbrak, 65, passed in her sleep in her home of Derry, Maine. Natural causes. She leaves her son, son-in-law, and granddaughter. Funeral to be held this Saturday, July 17th at the First Church of Derry. She will be fondly remembered by all who knew her. Everyone is welcome to attend the open service ceremony being held to celebrate her life. 
Thank you, 
Richard Tozier-Kaspbrak”

southern hospitality

bitty has outgrown this place, and the people in it.

tw: homophobic language/slurs

word count: 1800

for @stitchedopen, 3rd place winner in my fic giveaway! i hope you like it!


The clinking of Jack’s fork against his plate as he sets it down is very unnerving. It’s not the only sound in the room but it’s by far the loudest, to him at least. Even louder than Suzanne’s pleasant babbling (no wonder where Bitty gets it from) and the gentle lull of music being played on a radio somewhere in another room. Probably the kitchen, where Bitty’s finishing up supper.

There’s a shuffling around the corner and Coach becomes visible as he nears the bottom of the staircase. “Jack,” he mumbles gruffly in greeting, giving him a nod and sitting at the head of the table.

“Hello, Mr. Bittle,” Jack replies, smiling a little. “How’s the season going? Still the reigning champs of Morgan County?” If there’s one thing Jack knows he can get Coach to talk about, it’s football. It might be a much different sport than hockey, Jack surmises, but the passion they share for their sports is more than enough for them to hold a conversation.

“Oh, they lost their first game of the season last week. Nevin’s got an injury and we had to switch around the lineups– you remember, Nevin, receiver, curly hair, he’s in the team picture in the living room– anyway, I’m sure it hurt their chemistry.” Coach would talk strategy with Jack for hours, if it was up to him, but Eric is coming into the dining room now. He’s got on yellow oven mitts with tiny white flowers, and he’s holding a tray with a roast and some vegetables.

“The meat’s a little dry, Lord help me, I should stick to baking,” Eric laughs, setting the tray down on the table. “But all the vegetables should be good and I’ve got some pumpkin muffins with a fantastic cream cheese frosting waiting for us in the kitchen.” Everyone starts to serve themselves. The meat’s not dry at all, but Jack keeps that to himself. Sometimes Bitty needs little things to dwell on, to keep himself busy so he’s not worrying so much about the big stuff. Jack knows that.

“So,” Suzanne starts after a minute, and Jack can tell that this is going to be a long one. He glances up at her, a signal that he’s listening. “The Gardeners are having a potluck this Friday, and they sent us an invitation.”

Bitty nearly drops his fork. “The Gardeners?” he hisses. “As in, Melissa and Kyle?”

“Those Gardeners,” Suzanne replies smugly. Jack and Coach exchange a look, humor gleaming in both of their eyes. The drama is about to unfold, they can tell. “What right do they think they’ve got, inviting us to their potluck after what happened at ours?”

Bitty turns to Jack, waving his hands as he speaks. “Two summers ago, we held a potluck here for the neighborhood, and when the Gardeners showed up, Kyle was drunk as a skunk and knocked over our entire dessert table. The whole thing! It was all ruined! And it would have been okay, but they didn’t even bring anything to the potluck in the first place, and they never apologized, and oh, it was such a mess, everyone tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal but darlin’ you should’ve seen the look on Moomaw’s face, I swear she was on the verge of a heart attack.” He shifts abruptly back toward Suzanne. “Mama, we’ve got to go.”

“Oh, I know that, of course we do. Dicky, what you’ve gotta do is bake the best pie those folks have ever tasted, let them know exactly what they were destroying when they had the nerve-”

Jack hums quietly, making a mental note. Potluck on Friday. Prepare for a spectacle.

-

Bitty’s fingers press against Jack’s neck as he helps him straighten his collar. Jack doesn’t really need the help, he supposes, but the contact is welcome, brief but full of warmth, not the kind of affection Jack usually gets when they’re with Bitty’s parents. They’ve been trying really hard, Jack can tell, and Bitty has too. But he understands why Eric sometimes has trouble being soft with Jack around Suzanne and Coach.

“Don’t you just look dashing,” Bitty says with a smile, placing his hand flat on Jack’s chest.

“Only because you picked my outfit,” Jack laughs. Bitty laughs with him, nodding in agreement. He’s got little crinkles at the edges of his eyes when he laughs, and Jack rubs his thumb over them, absent minded.

“You ready, Dicky?” Suzanne calls from the kitchen. The noises of the coffee pot stop and Jack can hear her pouring herself a cup.

“All ready!” Bits yells back. He reaches up his hand and squeezes Jack’s wrist before whirling around into the kitchen. Jack watches Bitty’s hips swing as he leaves, his jeans a little tighter than usual since he’s outgrown some of the clothes that he left here during the school year, and wonders if wore them on purpose.

-

The potluck is bustling. There are people of all ages, from the tiny toddlers playing in the Slip ‘N Slide far left in the back yard to the old ladies knitting underneath the sugar maple next to the house in a comically stereotypical manner. Jack opens Eric’s door for him not out of chivalry but out of necessity– when he emerges from the car, his arms are full of tupperware containers.

“Let me take some, bud” Jack offers, but Bitty shakes his head.

“I’ve got to bring them over myself.”

-

“This one’s cherry with a lattice crust,” Eric is explaining as he removes the lid from the nearest tupperware container. The egregious Melissa Gardener turns out to be a petite brunette with a smattering of freckles across her upturned nose. “And this one’s pumpkin, I know it’s not really the season but I had some materials left over from the muffins I made the other night and I’m sure it’ll be just delightful, I made the whipped cream myself– now, they’re all desserts. I was sure you’d need some.”

Jack stifles a laugh. The bite in Bitty’s voice is unmistakable. “Where should I set them?” Eric asks, still sweet as sugar but with a lilt that suggests this isn’t an innocent question. “This table seems a little… unsteady. I wouldn’t want them to fall, heaven forbid.”

“This table’s fine,” Melissa ensures him, smiling. “Thank you so much for the contributions.”

“It’s nothing at all.”

They burst out laughing as soon as she leaves, Bitty collapsing into Jack’s chest. Jack’s arms come around him automatically and squeeze. “Bits, that was cold.”

“Really? Here I was, thinking I was being so courteous.”

They stay in the embrace for a few more seconds before Bitty shifts away from Jack. It’s subtle, but Jack understands. He squeezes Bitty’s shoulder and then takes a step away. Bitty’s out to everyone who matters, but some people don’t know. And some still have their prejudices.

“Bits, where’s the bathroom?” Jack asks. The noise is already getting to him. He knows he’s got a while of this to go, and he’s sure he’ll be fine, but he just needs a minute to adjust. Eric points him in the right direction, then goes back to arranging the pies on the table.

“Eric!” Bitty whips around. It’s a tall guy with acne scars in a red polo shirt. Bitty looks up, his face ghostly stricken for a second, then paints a big smile on.

“Hey, Todd,” he replies as the guy moves closer. “How have you been.”

“I’ve been fine, thanks,” Todd says. Eric tugs on the bottom of his shirt and glances over at Jack, entering the house. “Who’s the guy?” Todd asks, nodding toward him.

“Jack,” Eric says. “My… my boyfriend.”

Todd smiles. He turns his gaze to Bitty. “I’ve gotta say, Eric, I’m impressed! I expected you to come home with some twinky faggot in a pink H&M scarf.”

Eric inhales sharply. “Go away,” he says quietly, looking at his shoes. “My love life is none of your business.”

“We all knew you were a homo, Bittle, I guess it’s just a little surprising that you’re still showing your face around here. Are you queers ever gonna stop shoving your agenda in our faces? Huh? Go back to Samwell, eh?” He’s inching closer now, and Eric’s cheeks are flaming red.

“Go fuck yourself,” Eric mutters, turning his back. He unstacks a tin of macadamia nut cookies from his lemon meringue, and opens it. His hands are shaking as he spreads them out artfully.

Todd ignores his response, instead reaching over Bitty and sweeping up several cookies. “Don’t mind if I do,” he says as he stuffs one in his mouth. “Mmm,” he replies, smirking. “They’re a little bit… fruity, don’t you think?”

“That’s not even funny,” Eric rolls his eyes. “Get the hell away from me.”

“And if I don’t?”

There’s a hand on the back of Bitty’s neck and he’s flinching, he’s freezing, he can’t move he can’t breathe–

“If you don’t,” Jack whispers, his voice robotic and cold. “I’ll beat the shit out of you, and you can crawl home to your mother and tell her you got your ass handed to you by a faggot. Does that sound like a good enough reason to stop?”

Todd takes a step back. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” he hisses at Jack. “You’re not from around here, are you? You don’t know who my dad is, do you?”

“Let me guess. Mayor of some town I’ve never heard of? Principal of the local high school? Do you know who my father is, noune?” Jack puffs up his shoulders. “Because I can guaran-fucking-tee that my dad is a hell of a lot worse to mess with than yours. So you might just wanna step off.”

“Whatever. I shouldn’t be talking to y’all anyway. Just in case it’s contagious, you know?” Todd smirks.

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Jack says, still matter of fact, balling his fists and lunging toward Todd. Todd flinches, but the blow doesn’t come. Bitty’s caught the back of Jack’s t-shirt in his hand.

“Jack, honey, it’s okay. I can handle it.”

Todd laughs.

“But this– this asshole–”

“Trust me, sweetpea, I’ve got this.” Eric smiles.

“Yeah, you’re sure gonna take care of me, Bittle, what can you weigh, a hundred and ten? I bet you couldn’t even–”

Splat.

“Pity,” Eric says sweetly as the pie tin slides down Todd’s face, then down his shirt, coating him in cherry filling. “That lattice crust was gorgeous.”

“You– you–” Todd splutters, wiping cherry crud out of his eyes, but Bitty and Jack are already walking away.

“Enjoy the snacks, Melissa,” Eric calls over his shoulder as they make their way to the car. “We’re gonna head out.”

re: jay/umbronydraws

i’m sure most everyone who follows me and/or is active in the hamilton fandom is aware of what’s been happening to my good friend jay/umbronydraws during the last few weeks or so. with jay’s consent i’m here to explain the situation on his behalf since he wants absolutely no further part in the fandom or in this situation and honestly? I don’t blame him whatsoever. 

tl;dr congratulations, you harassed another queer artist of color to the point of considering suicide. both people outside of the fandom AND people within the fandom have been guilty of this. how many more times is this going to keep happening?

caps (provided by jay) and explanations are below. content warnings for slurs & just. shit. many names have been left uncensored. (reblogs are ok & encouraged, we need people to know and understand what happened here so that we can work on making sure it doesn’t happen again.)

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