I’m just so fucking worthless
Don’t you see?
I can barely keep up
I’m falling behind
I can’t even stop myself from eating because
I am a fuucking cow
And my grades were good
But now I can’t even bring myself to do work
Crap I feel like everything is slipping through my hands
And im fucking trying to be happy so
That other people have hope
But I just want to hurt myself because
I don’t even know what day it is sometimes
And I’m so fucking scared
And I’m surrounded by all these people
Who tell me they care
But the way they talk about others makes me feel scared
Because every time I talk they cut me off
I’m not good at anything
I can’t bring myself to change even though thats all I
Want to do right now.
I tell myself all these things and
I just can’t do them and I’m so
I hate this shit
I really hate me.
I hate me…
Why do I have to be me
U ASKED FOR IT….HERE U ARE (KEEP IN MIND SOME OF THIS IS REALLY OLD ART) (ALSO I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER ANON)
also i lied about there being no WoH they’re in here
first up we have the crack AU me and my friends made up: Instead of a killing game, it’s an Uno tournament. If you lose, you’re out.
I forgot how to draw Komaru orz
Next up we have the Naegi sibs strangling Junko
Why did I draw them like rotisserie chickens? I dont know
Next we have a shitpost I made in a skype call. Make of it what you will.
everyone is alive except peko
i really don’t like komaeda but i shitpost about him anyway
me and my friend on flockdraw (hey look it’s that one nagisa)
OKAY SO THIS NEXT ONE IS GONNA NEED SOME EXPLAINING
I was in a Skype call trying to draw with my left hand and my friend and I made up a story…Kotoko is trying to shoot Nagisa (why? Idk) and jataro is trying to backstab Nagisa, Komaeda is trying to stop them and Masaru is gonna jump on Komaeda. Also Hinata is crying.
My skin breaks out and flares up, resentful of my poor bone structure, perhaps. My hair tries to fly away from my scalp, unruly and untamed. My body aches and creaks insolently. My hands gesticulate wildly, trying to fly from my wrists. My eyebrows raise frequently, wanting to distance themselves from my eyes, I suppose. Why is my physicality so rebellious, contrary carnality? It’s in protest of my insides, foolhardy heart and cutting mind.
Today’s Captain Swan Big Bang Spotlight features @captndevil!
What is your writing process like?
It is all over the place, tbh. If I’m really thinking about a piece, I definitely try to plan it all before hand, but my plans are usually not that detailed (as in I don’t plan chapters), but I always plan out where I want to go to the end of the story.
What do you think your greatest strength is as a writer?
I like super descriptive writing. Sometimes, I think I probably over think some things, but I love describing scenery and things like that.
What’s a particular trope or kind of story you’ve wanted to try, but haven’t gotten to yet?
I love the soulmate trope, as well as werewolves (especially wolf!killian).
Who is your favorite OUAT character to write?
I always say Emma, because she’s obviously a main character, and we’ve seen a lot of her, over the seasons, more so than Killian, and I think that makes it so much easier to think “what would emma do here?”
If you are new to the Captain Swan Big Bang, what made you decide to sign up? What are you looking forward to?
I wanted to last year, but I had a super busy year, with assignments at university, and work commitments, but I have quite a bit more time this year so I thought why not!
The first CS multi-chapter AU I wrote, and although it’s not quite finished yet, it’s definitely the one I most happy with, and it’s the first one I really planned out, to know where I want it to go, and I love writing bickering!cs, with lawyer!killian.
My first CS fic that is officially completed. I loved writing that one, and was actually my first foray into writing smut, and though I think I’ve improved a lot, I’m still very happy with how it turned out. The fact that I got to write Ruby (definitely my favourite secondary character to write about), made it all the more awesome, since she can just be blunt as hell.
as you can tell this was taken on the same day today and it’s because i hardly ever take selfies so i specially took them for this tag since i went out hehe. i almost cracked my neck trying to get that mark selfie angle which explains why my hand was there supporting, i look so bad beside this perfection omg
I wanted to try my hand at a chubby taako, and turns out, this was fun! Drawing a chubby taako was a lot of fun!!
I think that looking between the two, skinny speaks to me more as a person, but I’m super feeling this too, and I’m glad I did it, and if I draw any taako art for you and you wanna see him big LEMME KNOW and i will do that for you, absolutely.
It’s been a while since I’ve written much of anything, but here’s a little drabble
I thought up the other night. I’m thinking about continuing it, but let me know what
“Did you leave the apartment building??” His worried voice chimes
through the receiver.
“Seven, don’t worry. I’m on the way back now, but I have to
go. My arms will fall off, if I don’t!” I laugh, bags of groceries in both my
hands. As I try to hang up the phone, the heavy bags swing and nearly hit me in
the face. I make my way to the apartment complex and begin climbing the stairs.
The sound of footsteps echo in the empty, concrete stairwell. Paranoid that
someone is following me, I glance behind. No one is there. Suddenly, my phone
vibrates repeatedly, startling me. Messages from Seven flood the screen.
I can see you on the
CCTV now. Let’s see if you can make it back in 15 seconds then? Seeing
this, I sprint up the remaining floors and jam my fingers on the keypad of the
door until it opens. Panting harder than I should be, I throw the groceries on
the counter and collapse on the cold floor. I hear the door automatically shut.
My phone lights up beside me and I sit up to answer the texts. Congratulations!! You won the golden medal!!!!
>_<, the newest reads. Before I can respond, I hear the familiar
ringtone and immediately answer it.
And I feel it’s best for both her and me and my severe anxiety if we do a body shave (I’m keeping the terrier face, long ears, and longish tail)
She absolutely despises brushing and it is such a struggle for me to brush her multiple times a week. It can take half an hour or more and sometimes I don’t even finish because she is so done. I’m having such a hard time brushing her she is developing mats and I just can’t brush them out without her trying to bite my hand off.
I figured the best thing to do would be to shave her and then we can work on desensitizing her to the brush while her fur is short and doesn’t have any snarls or tangles in it to hurt her.
well, I may not be able to read music yet, I feel everyone’s story has a song to it—at least I feel it and can hear it if I listen most closely with the third ear in my heart—so with a song in my heart I tell my story—
Here in Washington Square Park 3/21/17 — eleven days after my 86th birthday — trying to keep my writing hand as steady as possible — oh! I took my first Sertraline HCL (25mg) anti-depressant pill today and it seems to be "working” — see, I had to “separate” from my wife five months ago. She had to go to a nursing home. We were together 30 years 24/7. Her being there is “expensive” and I don’t have the heart to divorce her—now I don’t know if I’m more sick than tired or more tired than sick—but definitely depressed—yet I feel better writing about it. Now I or anyone else may read all the personal writing I do and have done — I call it my personal graffiti — so be it—
And now I have a chance to write this and someone may read it.
very tempted to try my hand at making sorta a btd-esque game but with ladies but also I suck at art & don’t have a tablet anymore so :/ (btw drop an ask if u want me to check out your blog, I need more guro blogs to follow)