try-to-make-things-work

anonymous asked:

Did you ever consider maybe she was trying to make things work with you?? And you just pushed her away and didn't make any effort at all to have a healthy relationship?

Yeah, I considered it.


Before I pushed it out of my mind cause of the utter bullshit.

• I promise to kill the spiders
• I promise to send you random things that remind me of you, so basically anything that involves sunlight and anywhere I go that I’d love to take you
• I promise to hold you and let you cry if you need to, when I do get to see you.
• I promise to never go to sleep angry and to always listen instead of jump to conclusions
• I promise to play guitar for you, and piano at your request.
• I promise to cook for you.
• I promise to let you beat me up and to save up kisses for you as if they were change in a piggy bank
• I promise to let you have the blankets, and to keep you warm.
• I promise to listen, listen, listen.
• I promise to always do the respectful thing for you
• I promise to pinky promise you things and to tell you my secrets
• I promise to let you lay between my legs when I’m near and just relax
• I promise to carry you up every flight of stairs when I’m with you, and to open your doors
• I promise to pay for you, and also to leave you little presents
• I promise to be round for you whether it’s 2 pm or 2 am
• I promise to eat the things that you don’t like, and to share the food on my plate
• I promise to let you read the things I write about you and for you
• I promise to work hard and endlessly and still remind you of how beautiful you are every day
• I promise to do my best for you as well as for myself
• I promise to make bad jokes
• I promise to take you to games and to parks, wherever you wanna go
• I promise to always step in front of you if there’s any danger
• I promise to let you wear my clothes
• I promise to be gentle with you but to also be rough at times, and to always ask for your permission before I do anything with or to you
• I promise to try
• I promise to run baths for you
• I promise to help you study and to always cheer you on and support you
• I promise to be honest
• I promise to build blanket forts for you
• I promise to kiss your nose and your forehead
• I promise to give you massages
• I promise to start food wars and to clean them up
• I promise to check on you, and to ask about your day, and then to listen to everything you tell me about it
• I promise to make sure you’re warm to the best of my abilities
• I promise to take care of you
• I promise to give you my attention and to continue to promise you things
• I promise to be myself and to simply try to make things work
• I promise to go out in the rain to get whatever you need, and to always give you my jacket to use as a shield if we get caught in it
• I promise to take you on adventures
• I promise to let you fall asleep on me
• I promise to kiss you when you’re talking, laughing, smiling, crying, and to do so with everything I am
• I promise to whisper in your ear when it’s late just to tell you how lucky I am
• I promise to let you play my guitars and to teach you everything that I know
• I promise to remain supportive with the intention of always helping you study to do your best
• I promise to run my thumb over the backs of your hands
• I promise to always do what I can to calm you when you’re stressed and anxious, and to always take up for you
• I promise to let you hog the blankets, and to pull you closer
• I promise to admit when I’m wrong
• I promise to clean up the messes after food fights
• I promise to remain organized with you, but to also be spontaneous
• I promise to share myself with you
• I promise to read your favorite books while you’re sprawled out atop me, and to watch your favorite movies in the same manner
• I promise to be there for you, always listening and always attempting to understand
• I promise to to go the extra mile in order to keep you in my life
• I promise to love you unconditionally, and to be your friend
• I promise to let you wake me up even when I haven’t slept for days, solely because you want to be in my arms
• I promise to take care of you when you’re sick as well as when you’re completely fine
• I promise to make you a priority
• I promise to remain thankful, because I’m so very appreciative to have you in my life
—  ARH. // I promise you these things
Harry Styles - “Confessions”

I completely left this open(and have already planned) for a part two. So… if you would like a part two let me know! Enjoy! And be ready to have your heart broken.

Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight


Harry sat on the edge of his bed in Los Angeles, his head in his hands, as he tried to hold back the tears and will his breathing to stay even and calm. His phone lay beside him, the screen still lit up to show him his recent calls - the last of which had just turned his world upside down. 

He eventually sits up, letting out a large sigh as his large ringed hands push through his short floppy hair, pushing it back from his forehead. His green eyes look across the room where on top of the chest of drawers sat a picture of the person he cared about most in the world. He stared at your smiling face, his own smiling face next to you and that’s when the tears came. He was going to lose you, he knew that he was. 

Just then his phone began to ring beside him. He dreaded it was her, the person who had called a few minutes before him and broke the news but instead he saw your face appear on the screen and that, in that moment, may have been worse. He picks up the phone, staring down at your picture as the phone continues to ring. 

He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t hear your voice, happy and still in love with him, when he now knew what he did. He couldn’t tell you over the phone. He had messed up, he knew that, and he had to say it to your face. After the phone finally stopped ringing he gave a sigh and pulled himself up and off the bed. 

He had things he needed to do in LA, meetings to attend, interviews to be done but he couldn’t. He needed to get to you and tell you as soon as he could so he called Jeff. He couldn’t say it though, he couldn’t tell him exactly the situation, just that he had to go home - and now. 

Once he landed in London the next day, his hands were shaking, his palms were sweaty and his breathing was shallow as he sat in the back of the car headed towards your house. He kept trying to play out and plan his words for this conversation. How would he go about it? Where could he possibly start? He had so many confessions to make and what he was most afraid of was the inevitable - losing you. He also knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that hurt, devastated, and heart-broken face that he was soon going to see before him. 

The idea brought tears to his eyes. He rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes, grinding away the tears harshly. He hated himself, his entire body was full of regret, remorse, and dread knowing that he could never take this back. 

“Hello?” Harry calls a few moments later as he enters your shared home. He knew you were home, it being your day off work and your car was parked out front but he heard nothing. “Love?” He calls out again. 

“Harry?” He finally hears from the kitchen. He couldn’t will himself to move towards your voice. He wanted to run back out the door to never have to face this situation, he wanted to pretend everything was okay. But it just wasn’t. And never would be again. “Harry!” You gasp once you see your tall, tattooed and handsome boyfriend standing in the entryway of the living room. 

“Hey.” He mutters, barely able to get his voice above a low gravel. He clears his throat and puts his bag down at his feet, sliding off his jacket. He was trying to delay this, anything to keep the truth from coming out. 

“What are you doing home? Why haven’t you answered my calls in two days?” You were full of questions but then in that moment you didn’t care. You had missed Harry so much and if he was home - that was all that mattered. So, you cross the room and burrow yourself into his chest. You wrap your arms tight around his torso, taking in that familiar scent of his cologne while his arms wrap around your shoulders. He buries his face in your hair, his eyes closing as the tears began to slide down his cheeks. This was surely the last moment he would hold you in his arms and he wanted it to last as long as possible. “What’s going on?” You question, looking up at him. You gasp when you take in his tears. “Harry, what is it?” Your mind was racing. What possibly could have happened to cause him to act like this? You reach up, brushing your thumbs under his eyes along the tracks his tears were making. 

“I messed up, love.” He finally says, his voice a quiet whisper as he stares down into your eyes. You frown, shaking your head a bit in confusion. 

“What do yo-” 

“I slept with someone.” The words were out before he could over think it. He watched the gears turn in your head as you processed this. As soon as he saw it click, you backed out of his arms, distancing yourself from him just as he knew that you would. “Please, love, i’ was while we were going through tha’ rough patch a few weeks ago. I was angry, you were angry, I didn’ know where we stood-” 

“So you fucked someone else and never told me?!” You interrupt as your blood began to boil. “You came back here acting like it was all okay?! As if nothing ever happened!” You also felt your heart break, a dull ache began in the center of your chest. Harry was the love of your life, the man you were going to spend forever with and yet .. he had hurt you in the way he always vowed he never would. 

“I jus’…” He scratches at the back of his neck, shaking his head a little as he gave a sigh. He looks at the floor, anywhere but at the hurt and angry face before him. He also noted the fact that your eyes, those gorgeous eyes of yours that he loved so much, had begun to well up with tears. “I don’ know how to make up for this bu’ tha’ isn’t all.” He knew he had to say it, he had to get everything out so just maybe, maybe, the two of you could start trying to work it out. 

“What else is there?” You cross your arms over your chest as the tears slide down your cheeks. What else could there be? Had he slept with her again? Was he leaving you for her? Your mind was racing and you weren’t sure you would be able to handle anymore of this. Harry was your life and even with him standing in front of you still you felt it might not be for too much longer and you already felt lost. 

“She called me yesterday mornin’,” He began, his eyes peaking at you through his lashes as he kept his head slightly down. 

“Okay?” You urged but felt that sense of dread begin to creep up in your head as you surely knew what was coming next. Why would you contact the man you slept with weeks before? There was really only two reasons - wanting to get together again or being pregnant. Your blood ran cold at the latter possibility. It couldn’t be that, it just couldn’t. 

“She’s… she’s pregnan’.” The words pained him to say out loud. He hadn’t spoken it since he heard her mumble it through her sobs on the other end of the phone the morning before. He saw your face crumble then. Your eyebrows furrowed together, your eyes swimming with tears, and he saw your breath hitch in your throat. 

“You got another girl pregnant.” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t accusatory, it was just a statement as you took to trying to process this. Harry was going to be a father, and it wasn’t with you. This just couldn’t possibly be happening. 

“I don’ know what I’m goin’ to do, bu’ what I wan’ first is to try and make things work with you. Please, love…” He trailed off when you shook your head vigorously, the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. 

“You expect me to just forgive you for this?” You give another shake of your head. “Would you forgive me if I got pregnant by another man? If I cheated on you and got knocked up? Would you be willing to move past that?” Harry bit at his lower lip and stared at the carpet under your feet. He knew you were right, he would probably never be able to move past it if you had someone else’s child. 

“You won’ even try? For us? We’ve been together for-”

“I don’t need you to remind me how long we’ve been together, Harry! I don’t need you telling me about the life we’ve started here together because I remember, I know!” You felt your anger begin to flare up. “It was you that seems to have forgotten the life we have together while you were busy fucking someone else!” He cringes at your choice of wording as well as your now raised voice but he knew he deserved it all. You were of course right, after all. 

“Please,” He takes a step towards you, holding his large hands out towards you, his cheeks wet with his still falling tears. He felt a sob building in his chest as he felt this was it, knowing you would most likely never forgive him. “I made a mistake, I will pay for tha’ for the rest of my life but I need you.” His voice dropped off to a whisper. “Don’ give up on me.” It was then that the sob finally fell from his lips and he felt his knees give out. 

“Harry,” You whisper as you watch the man you loved fall to his knees right there in front of you, his face pressing into his hands as large gasping sobs fell from his mouth. You feel a sob of your own and you take a step closer to Harry. You fall to your knees in front of him and bring a hand up to brush through his brown hair. He lifts his head up, his breath catching in his throat as his eyes meet yours. “I don’t think I can ever forgive you.” You watch his face crumble even more as he takes in your words. 

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers and the sobs resume. He then falls into your chest, his cheek burrowing into your t-shirt and his arms wrap tightly around your waist. You support his weight, your arms going around his shoulders, your fingers brushing at the hair on the back of his neck. “I’ll never forgive myself either.” He whispers through his sobs. 

You sat and held Harry, both of you crying and clinging to one another, knowing that this was it, for a good while until finally you pried him off of you and both of you stood up. 

“I think it’s best if you left.” You whisper as the two of you stood awkwardly facing each other. Harry gives a small nod, closing his eyes for a second. His eyes burned, the tears drying his eyes out but he knew he would probably spend the entire night crying. 

“Can I do somethin’, one las’ time?” You frown at him but he then takes a step closer to you and as his hand comes up to rest on your cheek you understood what he wanted. You don’t move as his face dips towards yours. You try not to return the pressure his lips press into yours but you couldn’t help it. As if by reflex you were kissing him back and bowing your body against his as your arms wrap around each other. It was as the kiss intensified and his tongue slid against yours that the reason this was to be your last kiss together reared back into your mind and you pulled away from him, breaking all contact together. 

“I can’t. I can’t do this, Harry.” You mutter, seeing that hurt and aching look in his green eyes as his chest heaved. He had hoped there for a second as he held you close again, your lips melded together perfectly like they always had, that just maybe you could forgive him. “I can’t be with you, I’m just going to picture you with her every time and I just can’t.” 

“I understand.” He gives a nod, hanging his head a bit. He pushes his fingers through his hair and looks back up at you. “I’m so sorry that I hur’ you.” He stares at you for a few seconds before backing towards the door. “I’ll always be jus’ a phone call away. I love you, with every piece of my soul.” You ignore the fresh tears sliding down your cheeks and simply give a nod. You look away from his heartbroken face and look anywhere but at him as he reaches for his bags and then a minute later was gone from the house. 

You fall to your knees right there where you stood and begin to cry into your hands, feeling like a piece of your heart had just walked out that door with Harry. 

Harry meanwhile had gone into the garage and got into his Range Rover but as soon as he was behind the wheel he rested his forehead against the steering while and let the sobs return. They were loud, chest heaving, sobs. Not only had he just lost the love of his life but he also now had to decide what he was going to do about his child on the way. 

“You’re Giving Up On Us?”

A/N: hi, everyone! sorry i haven’t uploaded in a while. school has been keeping me more than busy lately! 

warnings: this is angsty (i think) ??

requested: @pxrrishly

thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy it x

word count: 2,474

Originally posted by 2tiedships2

Y/N knew what she was getting into when she first started dating Harry. She knew that his job would often take him away from her, whether it was because he had to go on tour or due to late hours at the studio. She could take that. I mean, both Y/N and Harry were doing a pretty good job so far. A long distance-relationship wasn’t going to fail them, now. Right?

Harry had been on tour with the boys countless times before and it never really got in their way. But all because they compromised. 

Compromise.

Had it depended on the occurrence in which both of them would sacrifice bits and bits of their days now, Y/N would’ve forgotten what the word means long ago.

At late hours like these, in the dead of night, when she’s lying wide awake in bed, are the best timing for her thoughts to creep in, and as much as she doesn’t want them roaming around her head, they already settled a home up in there.

She reminisces the times when they’d both stay awake longer than usual — or wake up earlier than supposed to — just so they could talk and see each other as much as possible through video-calls. She reminisces the times when she hadn’t a worry in the world about where their relationship was leading to. She reminisces the times when it still felt like he was putting effort into communicating and contacting her while he was away, just as much as she was. But most importantly, she reminisces the times when she still felt like he was there with her, no matter how far he actually was.

But now that Y/N looks back at how it used to be and where they are now, she can’t help but feel as though someone just ripped her heart open and out of her chest.

The frequent and recurrent calls and texts here and there during her day began to become scarce when compared to the early days in their relationship. Texts that were always replied to, once he had the chance to write back a quick response, turned into hers always being the last sent and with the ‘Read’ tag underneath. What once was a continual exchange of ‘i love you’s barely happened anymore. Perhaps because they forgot or simply didn’t have the time to do so.

And eventually, he almost completely stopped trying to reach out to her. And when he did, it’d often be just a text telling her how busy he was and how he wouldn’t be able to talk to her later on in the day. He was tired. And so was she. For different reasons, of course. Clearly, he wasn’t aware of how much this whole situation was taking a toll on her.

However, it wasn’t as severe as it sounds. It’s not as if he completely forgot about her existence. He loved her too. He really did. But the pressure and hard-work mixed together wasn’t exactly the best combination, sometimes — specially at times like these. Harry knew this wasn’t an excuse because as much as people claim to be too busy or too tired for something — or someone —, they can always make time for them if the effort is really there. He’d talk to her whenever he found the chance to but, somehow, it just wasn’t enough.

For instance, she never cared about how tired she felt. As much as she needed to practically hibernate due to all the pressure and stress her work was putting her through, she’d always wait up for him to call her, just so they could see each other’s faces and share even if just a few words. She waited. She was trying. And as much as she wished to admit Harry was trying too, the only response she got from him were simple and very direct texts explaining how he wouldn’t be able to FaceTime her tonight.

Y/N missed him. And she couldn’t shake off the feeling that he had given up on them. For what other reasons would he practically stop trying altogether?

Harry had been on tour for almost a year now and she felt like she couldn’t take it anymore.

Y/N loved him. She really did. But how was she supposed to carry on with their relationship if the effort he once put into it was long gone? Sure, they’d still Skype each other occasionally, but the distance —both physical and emotional— was too much for her.

Video-calls that used to last around 2 hours — all because the two of them wished to cherish as much as they could whenever they had the chance to see the other — turned into 15-minute chats. Comfortable silences that was once part of their relationship turned into nerve-wrecking silences for her — the thoughts and ways of how she’d break the silence were all her mind surrounded with. And with vague words exchanged here and there, they’d quickly end the call and retreat themselves back to bed.

Y/N was never one to demand the presence and affection of her boyfriend every living minute of their day, but she needed something back from him. She couldn’t be the only one trying and willing to make things work. She just wanted to feel him close whenever she had the chance.

The tension between the two of them was undeniable. And as much as Y/N tried to understand what had changed so abruptly, she couldn’t find any answers. They had just become… distant. It’s not as if they had been arguing or fighting lately, or having silly disagreements. It wasn’t any of that. And she wasn’t sure what it was, but the fact that things just suddenly and unexpectedly changed without a proper reason or cause, made this situation even sadder for her.

For some odd reason, the freedom she once felt to share everything with him was now almost non-existent. Y/N knew she could but she didn’t know how to. And that’s how she figured he felt too. Harry eventually caught up onto her change of demeanour towards him and even though he was apprehensive to ask her if she was okay, he still did, gladly. (Un)fortunately — he really couldn’t tell —, she always replied with the same words, telling him that ‘yeah, just stressed with work s’all’, or ‘I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be?’, and brush it off with a small laugh. They never sounded honest for him though, and he never pressed on those answers because if something was wrong, she’d let him now… Right?

Harry didn’t want it to be true but he thought that he knew the answer to the ‘why wouldn’t I be okay?’ Y/N always pulled on him. He was well aware that they were distant and even awkward around each other at this point and he absolutely hated it. Harry knew she was not okay and he had a feeling that it was partly his fault. But he couldn’t know if she didn’t talk to him. Was he supposed to just brush it off or second-guess each time she said it?

It was bound to happen that her walls would cave down on her eventually—she just hoped it would have taken longer than this.

“Hello, love”, Harry greeted as soon as she answered his Skype call. She looked exhausted.

“Hey”, Y/N returned simply, not making direct eye-contact with him.

“Everything okay? You okay, love?”, he tentatively asked her, hoping for a real answer this time.

“’course I am. Why wouldn’t I b-”, she was immediately cut off.

“Love-”, he sighed. “Y/N… C’mon, talk to me. What’s in your mind? You don’t seem okay”. Harry was hopeful she’d give him something this time. After all, hope was all he had left.

“Harry- I don’-”, she let out a huff. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“But you know it’s not healthy to bottle up emotions, love. I’m here for you, you know that, don’t you?”

“No. Harry. I don't”, Y/N snapped.

“What? I’m always here for you-”

“Now, is that true, Harry?!”, she cut him off. She couldn’t keep her facade up for much longer. “You barely call or text me anymore! And I get to see you, what?! Once a week through a computer screen?! You don’t even put effort into us anymore! How would I be okay knowing you’re giving up on this relationship?! Tell me!”, Y/N was agitated to the extreme right now; her voice was loud and her cheeks were flushing up a bit—something that happened when she felt uneasy. She just wanted him to understand her side of the story. He might’ve been oblivious to it but she needed him to understand.

“Hey, hey, hey, now! Don’ put all the blame on me! You know damn well that I’m tired too! Sorry if I can’t exactly be right there at this moment to kiss your feet, princess! You know how my job works!”, Harry shot back. He might’ve felt bad and guilty when she started talking but after she accused him of such things, he wasn’t going to have it.

“You’re not denying it. God, I’m so stupid…”. Having a bad thought is something, but having someone somewhat confirm it goes to a whole new level. Harry wasn’t denying it. He was, indeed, giving up on them. Y/N’s mind was racing as she received what she thought was her reality-check.

“Y/N…”, he was strangely calm this time. Something was definitely up.

“Oh, so now you’ve got something to say?!”, she spat at him once again and if he was just previously coming down to his senses again, he wasn’t anymore. Her attitude was getting straight to his nerves.

“You know what? Just go straight to the point, yeah? I know what you’re doing here. Might as well just rush things up, no? I got better things to do…”

“Wow, Harry. Wow, really?! You don’t think that discussing this relationship is important?”, Y/N incredulously asked him, not waiting for a response.

“I didn’t say tha-”

“Well, you didn’t have to. I might just do you a favor and rush things up for you, yeah?!”, she huffed, mocking his previous words. “I can’t do this with you anymore. Clearly, you don’t give a shit about this so I might as well just end it, yeah?”. Y/N’s voice was slightly shaky but she managed to cover it up with a cough. She wasn’t sure if she had exploded way too suddenly and quickly in the course of their conversation but this was the least of her problems right now. She was literally breaking up with him.

“So you’re breaking up with me?!”. It was Harry’s turn to be stunned now. “You said I was the one giving up on us, but look at you now! Are we really not worth the fight for you?!”

“Oh, don’t put this all on me, Harry! You know damn right you gave up on us long ago! I’m just doing us both a favor ending this vicious cycle we’re in!” Y/N yelled, following with a sniffle and a sudden change in the room. It was quiet. None of them dared to say anything else at this moment. She had tears pricking at her eyes, begging to run free across her cheeks — but she wasn’t going to allow them. At least not now.

Vicious cycle? Is that really what you think this is- is that really what you thing we are? This could be nothing but a rough patch for all we know and you’re literally just throwing it all away?!”, Harry couldn’t believe the words he just came in contact with. How dare she say that?

“You know what?! I’m done arguing. Goodbye, Harry. I hope you have a great life!”

And just like that, Y/N ended the call and as much as Harry tried to be fast enough to stop her, his screen went blank and she was gone.

Right after she shut her laptop close, she broke into sobs. Did she make the right choice? Was there any chance left for them?

It wasn’t exactly an easy breakup — if you could even call it that. Y/N was aware of the words exchanged just now but she didn’t really feel as though as they were broken up. I mean, it’s Harry we’re talking about here. They’ve been together for the past two years and their relationship literally ended through a video-call.

It just didn’t seem… real. None of them got any closure. She literally shut the argument close, leaving both herself and Harry as confused as they could be.

Y/N knew what she was bound to do the next few days: grieve their relationship. Saying she was happy throughout their journey together was at least minimizing it all down to one word. There was no way she could describe what their love and connection felt like.

Both of them said things they didn’t mean. But was it worth going back on her words and apolozing? The pain that was unintentionally inflicted on her due to the distance and lack of contact with Harry was enough to bring her mind right back to where it was, in the first place. But, isn’t small contact better than none?

She was so stunned by the episode that just occurred that she didn’t even think about how Harry was feeling right now. Was he happy? Relieved that they were done? Sad? Shaken up?

And that’s how her next few days were spent: with her battling against her mind to give her some peace and with questions practically swimming around her mind — questions to which she had no intentions to finding the answers to.

Whenever, Y/N finds herself in hard situations, like a breakup, for example, she likes to be alone. She simply felt utterly lost and helpless — even though there was nothing simple about these two emotions.

She had to face the fact that she was now on her own and figure out a way to overcome Harry and hers breakup. Y/N had never loved someone as much as she did him and moving on would be complicated and perhaps even challenging. Might as well try to start now already, no?

Her trace of thought was immediately interrupted by a loud knock at her door, making Y/N huff in annoyance and get up from her lying position on the couch.

As she was making her way to the door, the person she missed most spoke on the other side of it, making her halt every movement she had — including her breathing.

“Y/N, love, please open up?”

part 2? yes? no? let me know! x

thank you for reading x

Masterlist

i hate seeing people being happy or being successful or having fun or whatever i hate it i hate it im so jealous its not fair that neurotypicals get everything they want if they work for it while im left to die no matter what i do or how hard i try to make things better things never work out and i hate everyone for it

4

dandy in every episode: it had to be you (6x10)

“this is dumb, but i thought maybe you’d say you love me again? that you want to try to make things work?” “and if i had said that, what would you have said?” “i would’ve said that i’d like that.” “but i didn’t say that…”

An Aquarius said to me, “I have been here overthinking and so overwhelmed with emotion, but I can’t stress it enough that I have done alot and so much for people, and not once have I got anything back..” and she hasn’t and I watched her go insane until I could finally reach out to hold her and she crashed into my arms and cried herself out of frustration.


An Aries and I would argue from time to time and make herself feel like the victim all the time and I always have to try and lower my pride and apologize and she would always say it’s okay and try to make things work out, but realizing that she was only playing the victim I started to get cold and pushing her away.. she realized and started to move on and try to do the same thing with someone else. She was toxic and I hope nothing but wish her well and grow..


A Cancer wrapped herself onto me and kissed me passionately and held me tightly. She has never felt this kind of relationship and she told me she has never felt anything like this, but she loves what she’s getting from me. Suddenly she started to cry on my chest and held me tightly. She said she was afraid to lose what we had because I have done nothing but be kind and nice to her. Afraid, she slowly to start to spill some of her past and asked me if I was being serious and I held her close to me and rocked her close to me..


A Capricorn and I were out for a long drive. She slowly reached over for my hand and kissed it softly and looked at me. She told me she loved me and continued to watch outside the window as I drove. She was the kind of lover who was taught to keep herself closed and not open up, but when she met me she slowly started to realize that my love was different and she opened herself a little and made me see all her flaws and imperfections and I hated all her exes and how they treated her..


A Gemini and I were taking a walk and I watched her, and listened to her as she talked herself, and I watched her hair flow as the wind picks up, and how she smiled when she gets excited. She laughed when she made a pun, and how she used so many hand motions as she talks. I reached out to take something out of her hair, and she slapped me. Shocked. She stared at me. “You weren’t paying attention to me, again..” she said, with a playful look on her face. But I was. I really was.


A Leo grabbed the controller out of my hand aggressively and pushed me to the side and smirked. She’s always very competitive when it comes to playing video games, and I watched her as she tried to kill every monster in the game. She then laughed and handed the controller back to me and said, “You’re always too soft when you play, you don’t have the drive. You don’t take things slow if you want something done right away. That’s the problem with you. You’re always too soft and too kind, but here I am so in love with your dumbass..” and she jumped on me and tried to order me around as I played.


A Libra played with my hair and watched as I just stared up the ceiling, and she startes to kiss my cheek over and over and tried to get my attention but here she was trying to make me look at her.. I finally stared at me and smiled softly and said, “You’re finally back down from la-la land. Come here and hold me, please?” Pulling herself close to me.


A Pisces opened up to me about her past and how one man did her wrong, so wrong. And to watch her break down and open up something so heavy made it even harder for her to speak and choke on her words to come out. She looked into my eyes and asked me if she was still loveable. To think Pisces would ask something about how she can still be loved is wrong, and I think that it was all wrong. She deserves the love she needs.


A Sagittarius made her way to her room and laughed herself for being a clumsy drunk. Watched her climb up the stairs to her apartment, staggering and excused herself for being this way, and how she told me that she isn’t like this but only when she’s with me, and I think it’s one of the cutest things I’ve been told.


A Scorpio drank herself to sleep, and I watched her closely and made sure she was breathing, but earlier she was talking to me about love. To how her exes were the same, how everything she tried to be their ideal person, and yet she was always pushed away at the end of the day, and she finally said fuck it. She said she was either going to show them all her flaws and imperfections and watch as they leave because one day she will find someone who sees her worth and will love her..


A Taurus loved the idea of getting lost. Getting lost in the city was her favorite, and everything to her was sort of an “adventure” and people asked her why she calls it that. She laughs and tells them that everything is always fun and always continue to search yourself and love, and enjoy each other’s company because all will be too late if things weren’t so sponatneous or words were left unsaid.


A Virgo once said she was care less, and yet she’s sensitive. She feels all to much, yet she hides alot because she doesn’t want to feel like an inconvenience to others. Yet, she looked at the world with strong eyes that she can conquer the world, but she’s afriad to tackle it. She loved so much, yet she was never loved back as much as she gives.. and here she lays in my arms, acting goofy and lost because who knew, who knew she can just fall and not care about everything else when she’s with me.

Opening Up and Observing.

on a more serious note though…vilde is so desperately trying to make this thing with magnus work. like, i wouldn’t be surprised if he told her something along the lines of “i feel like you’re hiding things from me”, not in a controlling way, but because she’s being evasive with him and even lying to him sometimes and he started to figure out that she’s not being honest with him sometimes. and instead of being honest with magnus (and with herself), she makes this desperate attempt to fix things and to make magnus stop questioning her, even though i’m sure magnus would never ask or even want to be a part of their group chat. there are things going on with vilde that she’s keeping to herself, and it’s just. it’s sad. what she did was not okay, it was a lack of consideration for the other girls’ privacy. but she’s just so…desperate. and i hope she feels like she can start honestly opening up soon, because she can’t go on like this

In The Wake of The Goddess

Originally posted by fireprooof

Thank you to the lovely @txhohood and @permanentcross for putting up with me as I constantly sent them parts of this because I was so excited.

The first night he tried to find a beautiful woman who was almost entirely the opposite of Y/N and then see if that would get her out of his mind. Her name had been a season or a month or something like that, he couldn’t entirely remember, and he couldn’t even manage to get it up at first. It wasn’t until he started thinking about the way Y/N’s lips looked wrapped around his cock, the way her lipstick would stain his skin as she went on and the little thing she would do with her tongue that he was finally able to muster up an erection for the girl lying right in front of him. She was pretty, she was tight, she was everything that he used to go for, yet she couldn’t get him off. He could only achieve sweet release when he closed his eyes and imagined the way that Y/N would pant and moan beneath him.

or

Y/N is back home and Harry can’t stand being without her. 

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da-at-ass  asked:

People often ask what would you tell a witch who's just starting out, but what would you tell a seasoned and exasperated witch who's ready to (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ their altar and whole practice? I'm not in that headspace right now but I have been before, and I know lots of us have been.

I love this question, and it came at the perfect time, because I’m preparing for Self Season, which resulted from my own altar flipping frustration!

I don’t want this to be taken the wrong way, so let me state upfront that what I’m about to say has a GIANT caveat attached to it, but when I feel the overwhelming desire to just abandon something I love, and to give up? I give up. That’s my advice!

Okay, so the caveat – when I say quit, maybe I mean…pivot?

I’ll give an example! I mentioned Self Season, so we’ll look at those origins. 

At about 22, I had been practicing witchcraft for 13 years, and I hated it. I didn’t feel like my practice reflected what I wanted out of it. There were some things I liked, but at the time I had been trying to force myself into a Neo-Wiccan mold for over a decade that didn’t fit me. And I tried to change myself to get there, and that didn’t work. And I changed it to suit me better, but I never felt comfortable.

After realizing I’d forgotten Lughnasadh YET AGAIN, and that I honestly did not care, I finally felt like I had to accept it. Witchcraft mattered to me. Paganism mattered to me. 

But Wicca? I didn’t give a fuck about it and I never did. And I was miserable because I’d been trying to force something to work that just wasn’t meant to, mostly just because I wanted a label to give me comfort and structure, even if it didn’t fit.

That was the moment when I said, okay, well I have no idea what I am now. I guess I’m just your average hellbound witch. And thus the seed of my blog began to take root :’)))

But right after that is when I sat down with a sheet of paper and wrote down the things I was ACTUALLY interested in. The kinds of magic I wanted to do, or at least learn more about. 

And then I made myself a reading list, because I love a good reading list. And I added podcasts and blogs as well. If it was related to one of my areas of interest – animal magic, local witchcraft, potions, and more – I put it on my list. 

And then I spent the next year or so reading and learning and figuring out how to be what I wanted to be and not what I thought I should be (based off of criteria that had nothing to do with what I wanted or what made me happy).

And it was awesome.

I haven’t wanted to quit since then, and I think part of what has helped that is that I made that self-auditing period I took in August an annual thing. I check in every year on where I’m at and what I’ve learned and what I want to learn. I look at parts of my practice that maybe don’t make any sense for who I am anymore and I see if I can evolve them or I cut them out if necessary.

For example, a lot of what I learned about in the realm of animal magic was very useful even across other areas. The influence that my animal magic studies had on my card spirit work isn’t often acknowledged, but it’s there. Still, at the end of the day, I just didn’t care that much about working with animals. And rather than try and force that, I said, okay, I’ll let it go.

My general opinion is that if something makes you want to quit that badly, then something is probably wrong

So my advice is to find out what’s wrong, and a LOT of the time the answer to that is “I’m trying to make this thing work for me that isn’t supposed to work like this.” and the answer is to step back and try it a different way or do something else. 

I think people feel like they want to quit because it’s hard, so they just need to power through it, but it’s hard because you’re not supposed to be doing it….

Which like, the witchy/pagan/whatever community is very much built on this culture of suffering. If you’re happy then you’re doing it all wrong XDD and I don’t think that helps at all!

So yeah, to recap:

  1. take a look at what’s not making you happy
  2. stop doing that thing
  3. figure out how to do it better or:
  4. figure out what to do instead
  5. do that

And that’s my advice :’)))

Tulips | Alfie Solomons [part 3]

Summary: [part 3] You’re a Shelby, born between Ada and Finn. You’re not into the family business and spend most of your time as a nurse at a local hospital. Your brothers respect your distance as you try not to get caught in Peaky Blinders business. The Peaky Blinders and Alfie Solomas have been in an alliance for years. Thomas and the rest do something that might make them lose the alliance. To reassure Alfie that they’re honorable, Alfie suggest an aliance by marriage.

16+ only

Days of you moping around and sobbing passed before you stepped foot out of your’s and Alfred’s shared room. He didn’t dare step foot in there once, not after he tried to sleep in there on your wedding night and you woke up screaming at the top of your lungs and crying out to him that you hated him and wanted to go home.

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au where louis’ a clone of international popstar lewis tomlinson.

lewis is diagnosed with a rare illness, while not terminal it affects his ability to perform and therefore he gets hospitalized for six months.

lewis’ manager gets in touch with a scientist and together, they manage to create the first successful clone.

clones cannot cry.

lewis’ clone is named louis, and the scientist that created him becomes a father-like figure to him as louis goes out to the real world and experiences lewis’ world. (aw, lewis’ manager and the scientist can be like louis’ dads)

lewis’ manager and the scientist are fully prepared, they train louis to be like lewis and instill knowledge into him.

they’re not prepared for when louis falls in love with harry.

things become harder when louis has to pretend to love lewis’ girlfriend while trying to make things work out with harry as well. day by day he gets closer to harry and further away from being lewis™. louis becomes his own person.

“will you still love me, even after learning i’m not human?”

“you’re perfect no matter what. i’d fall in love with you even if you were a flower, a breeze in the air, or a shooting star”

louis cries for the first time.

Close as Strangers: Part 14

Close as Strangers: Chapter 14

Word count: 4.8k

Genre/Warnings: language, angst

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Summer is going by so quickly and you know you have to enjoy it while you can while you mend broken relationships.

There will be an epilogue after this chapter. I can’t believe it’s almost over. I wrote this so long ago and can’t believe it’s coming to an end. If you’ve read all the chapters and are here now, god bless you. Haha :)

Parts: Close as Strangers: (best friend Yoongi) {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve | thirteen 

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Work Comes Home - Part 8

Summary: You work for the company that publishes Hamilton: The Revolution.

Words: Approx. 6100

Author’s Note: Thanks to everyone who read this over (@ourforgottenboleros​, @secretschuylersister​, @letsgiggletogether​: your enthusiasm and excitement honestly helps me to write this. @iwrotemywayto-revolution​ THANK YOU for fixing my horrible grammar - you’re amazing.) Let me know if there’s any little mistakes, I can go in and fix later <3

Disclaimer: I’m sorry for any pain, there’s a few more parts left in this story so please stay with me. Feel free to yell at me all you like because I UNDERSTAND. Again, the timeline is definitely a little weird and artistic liberties were obviously taken in reference to the publishing industry. 

Warnings: Angst, maybe swearing

Askbox | Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tags@hoppybunnny​ @doctorstethoscope@smileystumph​  @invisiblerambler​ @lookingformygus @theselfishllama @genericusernameblahblahblah @musicals-lin @ruth-hamilton-delrio

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Promises - Happy Lowman

Requested by @chaosmieu

List#9: 7, 9, & 10 - Happy♡

7. “Please stop getting my hopes up. Just stop!”

9. “I’m not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me!”

10. “Sit there, watch me choose you. Watch me earn you.”

Tag List:

@sarcastic-lunatic  @redwoodog@soafanficluvr1@fortheloveofthesoa @one-charming-life@khyharah@samcrolivesforever @calumonoxide@ineedthesons @chaosmieu @thegoodthebadandtheempty@soaoriginal @jade770 @supernaturalanarchy @mrstellerwinston

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Love Square Love Child: Ch 11

Summary: 

Marinette always thought she would end up with Adrien… eventually. But she can’t deny she’s also developed feelings for Chat the last couple years. When one night with Chat (under the guise of her alter ego: Ladybug) results in an unplanned pregnancy, Marinette finds herself caught between her duty to Paris and “two” men. Does she try to somehow make things work with Chat? Or does she cling onto the hope that she and Adrien can still someday get together?

Read Chapter 11 on AO3 

Start from the beginning on AO3 

4

9.29.17 | 4/5 uni bio notes 

Hopefully, I aced my chem test at this point, I mean I’ve been studying chemistry since the 9th grade so I’m sure I’ve gained some strength in chemistry. Sorry if my captions are mundane, I’m just really busy and tired, and trying to make things work.