truu

Me a few months ago: Oh boy oh boy I can’t wait to play Stardew Valley, taking care of a farm and exploring the mines and attending festivals and

Stardew Valley: and meeting alcoholic depressed characters

Me:

Stardew Valley: and crafting super slick truffle oil for an old pervert

Me: that’s not even

Stardew Valley: and seeing a father suffering from PTSD because he just came home from war

Me: w h a t

Stardew Valley: haha yes but wait until you see the writer who is so lonely that it almost drives him crazy

Me: What the hell is up with that game

calum is literally the geekiest one out of all of them like he tries to act all hot and like he doesn’t give a fuck but then one of his band members will do something extremely stupid and there he is wheezing a lil from giggling so hard like ok 

CONSPIRACY #6

The word conspiracy has 10 letters in it, the square root of 10 is 3.16227766017. 3.16227766017 starts with a 3 and a triangle has 3 sides, and what’s a triangle a symbol of? The Illuminati. The Illuminati is behind your struggle in math!

How I came into Stardew Valley

Sister: ayy you should try this cool new game, it’s called Stardew Valley and it’s about farming, mining, animals and stuff

Me: k but I’m totally playing Harvest Moon right now and therefore I don’t need another one of those

Sister: *sends pic of Sebastian* I’m going to marry this guy

Me: Not bad, but nah

Sister: *sends pic of Elliott, knowing my taste* You can marry this guy

Me: *slams fist on table* HELLO INHABITANTS OF PELICAN TOWN I AM HERE TO MARRY THAT GOOD BOI

My First Time Getting High

Homie: You wanna smoke something bruh?

Me: nah its a waste of time bruh, nothing ever happens to me

Homie: i gottchu, we gonna hotbox

Originally posted by mikamilk

(so we got them blunts in rotation…) 

Me: *Thinking* we on the 2nd blunt, i don’t feel shit. i can’t breathe in this hot ass car. i don’t understand why niggas do this to they lives.

Originally posted by smokey-queen

Homie: You Good Bruh?

Me: Yeah I’m pretty good, can’t breathe in this hot ass car though (I’m the pink mofo)

Originally posted by buzz-kill

Homie: You’ll be alright (pulls out a 4th Blunt)

Me: Oh Fuck no…i can’t hang bruh, I’m sorry i can’t breathe in this hot ass car.

Originally posted by ucgif

Me: (so I’m sitting chilling now) i don’t feel anything. i told you this shit don’t work

Homie: haha…idk then man. you just might have to smoke more. but aye I’m about to grab us want some snacks (walking out the room) 

Me: Oh Shit (it hit me all at once)

Originally posted by bokumetsu

Me: i done fucked up…my soul… i can feel everything. i can hear everything. I’m thinking I’m gone die

Originally posted by lunatic-trapped-in-time

i know I’m fucked up beyond my beliefs.I am trying to grasp the concept of chill. so i look at his dog and it looks back at me…(im trying to read its mind and everything)

Dog: You done let my master fuck over you…

Originally posted by naganohara

Me: I’m skipping through life within seconds. this nigga dog talking to me. I’m dying. 

Originally posted by mrcmfbyo

This nigga come back in the room with a glass of Kool-Aid and some chips looking like a master from a karate movie

Originally posted by bubblegumcrash

i completely lost my shit laughing and couldn’t stop. thought i was gonna die laughing. i had to beg this nigga to make another face cuz his straight face too funny.

Originally posted by hikewhileyoucan

Homie: You tripping bruh. lol you not that high though. ( he sat the the Kool-Aid in front of me)

Me: I can see how cold it is through the glass. at that moment it was literally the coldest thing on earth, and this nigga Kool-Aid could give you diabetes just looking at it. 

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Me:

Originally posted by rngcilantro

Me: i could literally taste every particle of the juice (after i figured out how to attack the cold ass glass)

Homie: catch the chips bruh. we gotta see if your motor skills still good. (tosses the doritos) 

me:

Originally posted by virtualsandwichconnoisseur

I’m dead for a solid minute and shit, and he turn some music on, loud ass hell and i come back to life and start dancing.(i can’t even dance but I’m on point with the beat Lmao)

Originally posted by crybaby-cliffo

Me: I aint know life could feel this good bruh. never again shall i let you fuck over my soul though. (passes out eating and happy)

Homie: You a lightweight though bruh. i can get you higher. All in due time.

Originally posted by princessfleek

-I do not condone drug usage, but if you gonna try it have fun :) 

Nintendo Fans before and after E3

Before E3: The Switch only gets remakes, people are buying it for Breath of the Wild and nothing else, the Switch is shit and doomed just like the Wii U

After E3: WE LOVE YOU NINTENDO, you’re the best dudes in the universe, you won E3, the internet and everything else, the Switch is hella awesome, I’m buying a switch for all my kids, my wives and two for my parrot