she wish she knew how to feel, but she doesn’t right now. she is trying her hardest to not talk to a boy who wants nothing to do with her at the moment. she is trying to find herself, she is trying to forget, she’s trying to push away. she would hope he would come back, but the circumstances are not in her favor. the reality is, she messes up all the time, she isn’t happy, she doesn’t give a hundred percent. you know why?, because once you give somebody your all, that means your feelings are no longer yours, they are the other person. giving somebody your all, is having complete trust in them and hoping that they won’t hurt you. she felt as if it had been so long, maybe there was no recovery from this one. the boy doesn’t want to talk to her, the boy doesn’t want to see her, the boy, is just being a boy. she’s doing things she never thought she would, she’s trying to give the boy exactly what he wants, and that’s silence from her. no more her, he yells that he’s tired of it, he’s tired of the same thing over and over and over, he screams for her to shut up, and she doesn’t. she is a mess, yeah she loves him but sometimes love isn’t enough. she wanted it to be okay, she wanted to talk to him. no, she did this to herself and she gets no love. sometimes you can feel your heart break in to pieces, and yeah it may be her fault that she’s aching, but she is aching.
she would give her all for the boy, she does want to be with him, she does want the person she fell in love with, she does want to prove him wrong. she guesses, reality will prove what’s supposed to happen, for the better and the worst, don’t believe her all you want,
she loved you
We usually jump straight to Psalms chapter 119 and verse 142 to show that the law is the truth, but you have to read this entire chapter because its incredible. The brother said “thy testimonies are wonderful: therefore doth my soul keep them. The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding to the simple. I opened my mouth, and panted: for I longed for thy commandments.” I had to stop and let that soak in for a min. Before I came into the understanding that the real Jews are “black” I was panting for the truth and my purpose in life. Now nothing else is able quench my thirst like this word can. It says in Proverbs 1:22, “How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?” And I agree! You HAVE to be a fool to reject the word of The Most High after the truth has been presented to you. How can anyone love this darkness surrounding us every single day? This kingdom (America) is ran by psychopaths, who proclaim themselves to be wise with all this high tech technology and “science” but disregard common sense. If you can look around you, and be 100% content with what’s going on in this country something is extremely wrong. This book is medicine, open it up, read it and following the instructions given to you.
televison meme: [4/10] seasons → Grey’s Anatomy season two
↳ As doctors, we’re trained to be skeptical, because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is, every patient is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad. Or so we are told constantly from birth; honesty is the best policy, the truth shall set you free, I chopped down the cherry tree, whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth? The truth freaking hurts.
she always thought he was the sun, that somehow he lit up her life. she admired him so much, whether she didn’t find what he had to say interesting. she loved the way he walked, the way he smiled, the pictures she’d make him take with her. she loved every single thing about the boy. but where is he now? he’s still not with her, she thinks about him all the time, you know? she’s been living her life, working out, working at the school. she gave up soda, one of the best things that cheered her up. she gave up deserts, and those late nights she used to stay up talking to the boy. she wakes up around 10am now, not 1pm, she doesn’t watch the clock anymore, she tries not to miss any time during the day. she’s becoming happy, she’s becoming her own sun. yes, of course she’d love if the boy would come back, but life doesn’t always work in her favor. she started eating more, she starting doing things that make herself happy. so yeah, maybe he was her sun but sometimes the sun gets too hot and burns out.
If people love you, they will want you to grow. If somebody doesn’t want you to grow, you can call their feelings about you by many names… but you cannot call it love. You can call it fear, you can call it anger, you can call it control issues, you can call it resentment… but nobody has ever held anyone back because of love.
she could be so negative , but she wants to be positive now. she doesn’t want to think the boy won’t come back, cause he will right? she thought maybe it could be over and maybe it is, but there’s no point in thinking that. the boy never said it was over, she’s just over reacting,making herself miserable. so tonight she gave that up, maybe he will come back. she hopes their love will pull through, she thinks it’ll be okay
books read in 2017:Saving Francesca “I can’t believe I said it out loud. The truth doesn’t set you free, you know. It makes you feel awkward and embarrassed and defenseless and red in the face and horrified and petrified and vulnerable. But free? I don’t feel free. I feel like shit.”
While the media transforms and digs deep.
And you believe the media so much.
That your opinion is now a fact regardless of what they told us. And you expect that we believe in what you say. When everything that you been saying is nothing more than a fake. The truth will set you free.
It’s all false to me, things ain’t always what they seem to be. And if this is life, am I living in a maze. Government trying to clone suckas with cell fusion. Now tell me what is that, stealing individuality. Beefing up the army all brawn with no mentality. We’re the voice in the back of your brain tucked away. But your sanity is such a lie. Don’t believe me mother fucker, open up your eyes. See what’s going on. You need to check your surroundings it’s so commercialized. And the truth is only what they want you to know. Because they know too much would break control. And cause an overload in your perfect humdrum so predictable. Reality of life where everything is fictional. The dark arts were like toys. Ouija boards and all kinds of little demons. Slang yola weed and that boy liked to worship satan.
“His hair is more accurate in this one.” “I know!” “It took three tries, I’m content now.” “Good, but I’m starting to think you like Redhead more than
me.” “So not true.” “Uh huh.” “Seriously.” “And besides, you’re a redhead again yourself.” “No need to worry.” “The truth shall set you free.” “Well if I’m going to be truthful then—” “
—When you first colored your hair I wanted to punch you in
the face.” “Whoaaa, why?” “I’m not certain, but I do remember being quite shocked and
upset.” “Since then I’ve never truly gotten used to you being blonde.” “Hmm..” “What?” “Oh, nothing.” “I just have the sudden urge to see if Walmart
has blue hair dye.” “I will not refrain from punching you a second time.” “Ha!” “Bring it.”