when your morning starts with suffocating anxiety bc when you don’t start off with the Word of God, you cannot possibly sustain yourself at a job you absolutely hate with people who treat you like shit. when you shut the car door behind you at the end of the work day and break down in tears bc there are no words to express how tired you are of fighting to “be like Jesus” and trusting God that this is where you’re supposed to be. when you know that you’re supposed to see all this as God’s mercy and abundant grace in your life but it feels more like the punishment you deserve for never getting things right in life. God, i can’t see where im going and it hurts a lot. that is all for now.