I’m just gonna say, threatening to kill yourself CONSTANTLY and to cut yourself to a friend who is thousands of miles away and completely fucking helpless and panicking to them ten times a day and having them support you and then to flip around and use what they said to you out of desperation because you were suicidal and act like it’s some how unacceptable? Like take some responsibility. You are an EXHAUSTING person to be friends with and I dealt with all of that because I thought we were friends, but trust me, I didn’t enjoy a single second of having to try to talk you down from panic attacks every second of my day no matter what I was dealing with myself.
Also, trust me when I say: just because you can’t make up your own mind about anything without outside help doesn’t mean the only person you care about it right about everything. You know I’ve been texting less because I’m “out of wifi” but I’ve just been too exhausted to deal with you. So you can think that some how I “enjoy” your anxiety, but I’ve been trying to distance myself from you for a couple months now and my moms be talking me through it because I didn’t want to trigger you. Because I actually care about you and didn’t want you to be hurt.
So your friend can say whatever they want about me and it doesn’t matter to me if you say those things to me because I know you’re just a mouth piece. I am genuinely sorry about your top surgery though because even though I know I said we would live together, it was just to help you through panic attacks, it would never ever have happened. I just really don’t want you to hurt yourself, and I still don’t because even though I absolutely can’t stay on the wild ride of you being unable to form your own opinions and needing validation for every thing, I really do wish you well. And I had planned on helping you with that money even after I stopped taking to you because I’m not as asshole and I think it would have done wonders for your mental health, which I have done everything I could for for the last couple years. Sorry, it would just feel creepy now.
I have my own mental illnesses, I can’t be on duty for you every minute of every day, and to be honest I was starting to resent you for expecting it of me. I wish you well, I really hope you use the workbook I sent you, it is effecting. Now, please stop stalking all my side blogs because I had to block you on my main.