trust and consequence

Enneagram Type Six - The Loyal Skeptic

Loyal Skeptics believe you must gain certainty and security in a hazardous world that you just can’t trust. Consequently, Loyal Skeptics are intuitive, inquisitive, trustworthy, good friends and problem-solvers, but also can be doubtful, accusatory and fearful.

Focus of attention - What could go wrong, worst-case scenarios and how to deal with them

Life lesson - To reclaim trust in yourself, others and the world, and live comfortably with uncertainty

Speaking style - Thoughtful, questioning, engaging and information-oriented. Others may perceive Sixes as pessimistic, contrary, challenging, doubting or controlling.

What Type Sixes tell us about themselves

  • I am preoccupied with safety and security concerns.
  • I greet everything with a doubting mind and contrary thinking.
  • My vigilance, active imagination and intuition help me anticipate and avoid problems.
  • I question authority and people until they gain my trust.
  • I procrastinate because I fear making the wrong decision.

Relating to Sixes

  • Be consistent and trustworthy.
  • Disclose your own personal feelings and thoughts.
  • Appreciate their attention to problems; agree on rules and procedures.
  • Join them in acknowledging what can go wrong before moving ahead.
  • Put your cards on the table as much as possible – don’t be ambiguous.

Psychology
Sixes use their perception and intellect to understand the world and figure out whether other people are friendly or hostile. They focus on guarding the safety of the group, project or community. Sixes are good at anticipating problems and coming up with solutions. They can oscillate between skepticism and certainty, rebel or true believer. When phobic, Sixes are cautious, tending to hesitate, worry and procrastinate. Counter-phobic Sixes rush into action and brace themselves to overcome their fears. As Sixes learn to trust themselves and others, they become more flexible and develop the courage to act, even in the presence of doubt or ambivalence.

Basic proposition - You can assure life and certainty by avoiding harm (the phobic stance) or facing it (the counter-phobic stance) through vigilance, questioning, and either battling or escaping perceived hazards.

Strengths - Perceptive, sensitive, loyal, warm, witty, courageous and strategic thinking

Challenges - Anxious, hyper-vigilant, pessimistic, contrary, over-active imagination

Defense mechanism
Projection – attributing inner concerns and fears to others and external situations

Sixes use projection to avoid personal rejection and maintain a self-image of being loyal. To assure safety and justify loyalty, they project positive feelings onto a relationship or an external authority figure. To explain internal feelings of fear and distrust, Sixes project negative feelings onto others, and then look for evidence to support these projections.

Awareness practice

Observe your habit of mind or focus of attention with as little judgment as possible. Ask yourself the following questions, while noticing your feelings and how your body responds:

  • How do I get fearful, alarmed or anxious?
  • How do I question and doubt in my internal dialogue?
  • How do I magnify situations in my mind?
  • How do I project my positive or negative feelings onto others?
  • When has fear of making a wrong decision held me back?

Spirituality
Type Six’s journey is more obvious and straightforward than for any other type. The child who experienced the world as threatening and unpredictable, and fell into fear and doubt, needs to regain faith and trust in self, others and the world. Faith is a big stretch for the Loyal Skeptic because faith comes before proof.

Path of Integration

Mental: Doubt > Faith
Emotional: Fear > Courage

The aspect of awareness called the Inner Observer allows us to witness the internal patterns that drive outer behavior. The practice consists of focusing inwardly and becoming aware of the thoughts, sensations and other objects of attention that arise within us. This allows us to be fully present, thus relaxing type patterns and increasing receptivity.

For Sixes, take a moment to reflect on the following principles:

  • Insecurity is part of life.
  • Flight, fight and freezing are all reactions to fear.
  • Courage is not the absence of fear; it is moving ahead in spite of it.
  • When we relax our vigilance and stay in the present moment, we notice that everything is ok.
  • When we cultivate faith rather seeking certainty, we begin to trust in the process of life.

Somatics
As mental types, Sixes use their keen perception to anticipate problems, find solutions, and establish rules and procedures that create safety and security. Some Sixes are cautious while others jump into action. But all Sixes have a very sensitive neurological alarm system that puts them on high alert when there are signals of danger, even when the danger is imagined or magnified. Cautious or phobic Sixes tend to withdraw, either by physically leaving situations or going into their heads. Counter-phobic Sixes tend to accumulate more muscular tension and rigidity. The diaphragm and throat are control centers, which can result in a halting or stuttering style of breathing and speaking.

If you are a Six…

Your task is to develop a sense of safety within yourself. Start by becoming centered and grounded in your body. Take slow, deep breaths and stretch the actual muscle of your diaphragm, then release the exhalation as much as possible. It’s important to notice when your alarm system is activated for the fight, flight or freeze response. To help restore calm and reduce anxiety, breathe slowly and deeply into your belly, allowing pleasurable sensations to build. If you need more energy to deal with challenges, practice breathing into your chest. And when you find yourself worrying and holding your breath, return to the practice of slow, steady breathing.

    anonymous asked:

    Logic, I know you probably feel mostly fine, and may think that this is an overreaction, but it really isn't. I ignored a minor concussion once and regretted, and seen the same thing happen to others (sword-fighting, it's a hazardous sport). So it may suck being this careful, but trust the potential consequences of not doing so suck more. Anyway, feel better!

    Okay anon don’t worry morality is watching over me and he will make sure I’m okay

    justpidgance  asked:

    I thought I was all alone of feeling conflicted about Caraval.

    oh my dear friend
    u have no idea

    okay so because i am one of Those People who consistently judges books by their cover, I had been looking forward to this book for a year. I mean, look at it. It’s beautiful~

    Gorgeous. And the premise? A magical game where you can’t trust anyone, where consequences are both imaginary and all too real? SAY NO MORE. I was pumped. I was like, first in line waiting for it at our library (i like to read books before i buy them i know i’m a weird bookworm) and I brought it home and devoured it.

    Alas.

    While I don’t feel like the characters were particularly strong, I was willing to overlook that. THE DRESS DESCRIPTIONS. the setting. the M O O D. 
    And then, all of a sudden, things just got weird. Like, weird weird. 

    I think part of my problem is that I went into this book thinking it was a stand-alone. However, I think that even if a book is part of a series, the ending should still be satisfying. Like, you should get a sense of conclusion, soaked as it is in the Suspense of What Is To Come. I didn’t get… anything like that in Caraval. It felt like seven different characters dropped plot bombs and then were like, “Hahaha, I’ve been planning this the ENTIRE TIME.” But then that kept happening, and you start to wonder if the AUTHOR had been planning it the entire time too, or had just kind of cobbled it together at the end. 

    I realize that motivations were supposed to be hazy because it’s all a game or whatever, but Scarlett’s sister had such a foggy sense of what was okay that I was kind of confused when I realized we were supposed to like her. (First of all, you don’t put your family through that kind of emotional hell and then say “Oh it’s fine i knew you would fix everything.”) Like, what? What was Tella even DOING? 
    I’m so confused by the ending of this book that I don’t even know how to write a cohesive review of it. 

    Side note: as much as it pains me to say it, I think there is a point in a book where the author reaches the Maximum Hot Character Limit. Like, I too like to imagine myself in a world where every boy I look at is beautiful and dreamy and devoted to me, *side eyes the Ouran Host Club* but you reach a POINT, you know what I mean?

    Spot the difference...

    Oliver Queen uses the Lazarus pit to save his sister.

    Ends up isolated from his loved ones, alone in a dangerous place, stripped of his identity, brainwashed and tortured. 

    Laurel Lance uses the Lazarus pit to save her sister.

    Ends up reconciling with Oliver, has her sister back in one piece, retains her spot on the team, and has a big smile on her face. 

    Reciprocate

    “Does this mean we’re friends now?”

    Shouto was confused. Typically when one exchanges phone number with another, it meant trust and, consequently, friendship. Has it not always been this way? Shouto was positive that was exactly what it meant.

    The feeling of confusion must have shown on his face as Midoriya began to flush and stammer.

    “I — I didn’t mean to offend you, or anything,” Midoriya choked, hiding his face behind an arm. “I just… I think I just wanted to make sure.”

    Shouto understood. Midoriya seemed to be the type of person that was very careful of his interactions with other people, so gauging the interests of the other person involved was a reasonable excuse to ask. It wasn’t offensive by any means, though, and Shouto knew he himself wasn’t the friendly type in the first place.

    “No offense taken,” Shouto spoke up before Midoriya had the wrong idea. “And… don’t hide your face.”

    Midoriya quickly dropped his arms against his sides.

    “It’s convenient to have everyone’s number,” Shouto explained, his eyes focused on his phone screen as he composed a message. “You never know when you might need to contact someone.”

    “That’s true.” There was a sigh.

    “It’s also a good idea to get the teachers’ numbers too,” Shouto continued as he pressed the send button. He looked back up to see Midoriya staring at the ground.

    “I do have at least All Might’s number, and Aizawa-sensei’s too…” Midoriya mumbled before his attention was caught by his phone notification.

    “You better start getting everybody’s number then,” Shouto suggested before turning around to leave and just as Midoriya was about to unlock his phone screen. After all, Shouto already knew what the notification was about, and for some reason he didn’t want to stay there to see Midoriya’s reaction.

    Shouto’s fingers were still shaking from typing — yes, we’re friends now.

    • Female Lawyer: Were you involved in the development of this product?
    • Veronica: Yes.
    • Female Lawyer: And how would you summarize the company's reaction when they found out that the women who used this product were savagely attacked by insects?
    • Veronica: Ouch.
    • Female Lawyer: Will you elaborate on that, please?
    • Veronica: No.
    • Female Lawyer: Can you describe your job?
    • Veronica: Yes.
    • Female Lawyer: How would you describe your job?
    • Veronica: Cleverly