trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Cecil tries prank Carlos on April Fools by telling him he doesn't love him, except he can't keep a straight face at all so it goes like this: "Carlos *snerk* I have to tell *pfffffffkkk* tell you something *tears coming to eyes* I don't love you." And he tries to control himself, but he's literally bursting and finally he just screams "APRIL FOOLS I LOVE YOU" and runs out of the room cackling madly

I have nothing to add to this perfect piece of absolutely true literature.

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Numbers is walking down the street and he trips slightly. Does he murder all eyewitnesses? Turn it into a run? Bust out a dance move?

Hahahaha oh my god.

Numbers is too suave for this nonsense. If he trips walking down the street he freaking owns it.

Like, Wrench doesn’t know how in the world he does it, but whenever Numbers makes any sort of small fumble like that his recovery is impeccable. He ends up doing something that makes Wrench want to applaud him.

One time, they were walking down a busy Fargo street and Numbers tripped over the curb and started falling towards a street vendor’s booth, he caught himself with his other foot, and in a turning motion somehow managing to grab a bouquet of flowers off the vendor’s cart, and ended up standing in front of Wrench, smoothly pressing the bouquet into his chest. It all happened so quickly that Wrench had no idea how it happened, but it did.

The vendor was so impressed that he gave Numbers the flowers at a discounted price, which he took and paid for suavely. Passersby were incredibly impressed.

On the rare occasion that Numbers doesn’t manage a smooth recovery, he continues on like nothing ever happened. Wrench doesn’t even notice it happened at all on these occasions.

Imagine Wrench trying to convince Numbers to go talk to Laz or Delahoy but Numbers adamantly refusing, “Are you kidding me? They’re cops. They might look… horrifyingly similar to me but they're cops.”

And Wrench responding like the huge nerd he is, “What if you’re all clones? What if it’s like that show you’ve been watching?” Numbers turning bright red because Wrench knows he’s not supposed to talk about the tv shows Numbers watches.

Banks catching sight of this conversation (the fringe flying about is hard to miss) and smacking Delahoy to get his attention. Delahoy is simultaneously very annoyed and really relieved that at least one of the other versions of himself isn’t a hallucination.

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Wrench and Numbers get high but run out of snacks. They go to the shop to buy more snacks but just end up getting distracted by a each of novelty sunglasses.


Wrench is not distracted from snacks for long. Wrench wants snacks more than anything in the entire world. His stomach hurts he needs snacks so badly.

But Numbers, he’s used to being stoned and he’s fashionable and when you’re stoned nasty cheap sunglasses become fashionable.

At first they were both playing with them together but then Wrench is signing he’s hungry, he’s SO HUNGRY, but Numbers isn’t looking. Numbers is only paying attention to the glasses. Numbers is stoned, he’s doesn’t have peripheral vision, he can’t even remember trying the sunglasses that are in his hand, so he tries them again.

Wrench is getting fed up and when Numbers finally realizes Wrench is gone he turns around in confusion to see Wrench attempting to hold the entire snack aisle in his arms.

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Wrench has a habit of leaving cabinet doors open all over their kitchen and Numbers keeps smacking into them.

“That darn Wrench… Always leaving those freaking cabinet doors open.” Numbers grumbles under his breath as he rubs his forehead from smacking into another cabinet door. His forehead is starting to turn red. This is the fourth time he’s smacked into it today. How hard is it to just close the door the same way you opened it? 

Wrench is watching some history documentary, with a sandwich and plate in hand and his feet on the table. Numbers furrows his eyebrows in annoyance. He HATES it when Wrench puts his feet on the table. He’s reminded him a copious amount of times not to do it but, the same thing with the cabinet doors, Wrench just never remembers. Numbers was ready to complain to Wrench about the cabinet doors and about his feet on the table when Wrench notices Numbers approaching and looks up. 

Wrench points at Number’s forehead “Why is your forehead so red?” 

“Well let me tell you why. You keep leaving those damn cabinet doors wide open and I keep smacking into them! Is it so hard to just close them afterwards?? And get your feet off the table!" 

Wrench bursts out laughing and this gets Numbers even more angry. 

This isn’t funny!!”

Numbers just gives Wrench the angriest and most serious look. Wrench manages to calm himself down after a few minutes.

Sorry, I just remembered seeing you smacking into the cabinet door this morning and your reaction was priceless.” Wrench tries to keep his composure despite the large grin spreading across his face. 

Numbers glares at Wrench, unamused. Wrench smirks, grabs Number’s collar and pulls him down to kiss his forehead. Numbers is surprised with the sudden grab and found his anger faltering away and gives Wrench a kiss. 


This is just adorable and I found it hilarious how Numbers would smack into them every time. :3 

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Cecil sending Numbers random postcards with weird little notes written on them, and poems about Carlos and Khoshekh. Numbers keeping them all in them in a shoebox. The shoebox starts shedding magic. It glows and rattles, and sometimes changes the colors of things around it.

Oh my god incredible.

Numbers halfheartedly sends back cards from where ever they go on hits.

He always buys a card and drops it in the mail with a stamp. No message. Cecil always excitedly hits up Carlos when he receives them and then calls Numbers five times in a row to thank him. (Numbers doesn’t ditch the calls or anything. He answers every time [unless he and Wrench are busy elsewhere], Cecil will just hang up and then call right back to tell Numbers he really loved the card, “…but are you sure that min…min-ehh? min-eh-sow-tah? Is that a real place? I don’t think that’s a real place, Numbers.”

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

They're driving to a hit and they get lost. Numbers is driving, which is rare. He is annoyed. Wrench is annoyed. Everyone is annoyed. And now it's raining!

Wrench sits with his arms folded, looking away from Numbers. He sighs loudly to indicate to Numbers that this was all his fault. Numbers shoots Wrench a glare and continues to look at the map, turning it left and right trying to figure out where they are. After a few minutes, Numbers throws the map onto the dashboard in frustration and yells “This stupid map doesn’t tell us shit!” 

Wrench turns to Numbers and judging from his actions, he’s frustrated and still can’t find out where they are. Wrench gets Numbers attention, his annoyance boiling up.

“Maybe we wouldn’t be lost in the middle of butt fuck no where if SOMEONE didn’t forget to charge and BRING the GPS." 

Numbers can feel his own annoyance start to boil up as well. “Hey! You didn’t remember either.”

"Don’t pin this on me! You said we’ll be fine without it and that you knew the way.”

Numbers furrows his eyebrows and glares at Wrench. “Why don’t you drive then?? Who knew the middle of butt fuck no where had so many butt fucking paths.”

“I’m not familiar with these roads either and I thought you said you wanted to drive this time. Such a rarity. Too bad you suck at it though.”

Numbers is trying so hard not to slap Wrench in the face right now. “I don’t suck at driving!” Numbers turns on the ignition and drives off. “I’ll show you…” he mumbles under his breath.

An hour passes by and they’re still lost. It has started to rain heavily and Wrench constantly glares at Numbers, still annoyed that they are in this situation. Numbers just ignores him and continues to focus on driving. 

Another hour later, Numbers finally manages to find a sign pointing them to their destination. Wrench has fallen asleep and Numbers wakes him up and points at the sign. “Told you I don’t suck at driving.” 


I wrote another thing. Love your head canons. Keep them coming. :3 

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Do you think Wrench and Numbers drink the milk left over from a bowl of cereal or do one or the other or both of them ditch it.

Numbers doesn’t. Numbers is a “Food shouldn’t touch” kind of person, so seeing the little floating remains in cereal makes him feel gross and he would never drink that.

Wrench absolutely does, though. Especially since he loves sugary cereal, unlike Numbers who eats healthy stuff. Wrench particularly loves chocolatey cereals because then he gets to drink chocolate milk after.

trumpetandtrombone replied to your post:Wrench snoring and not knowing And Numbers hating…

Oh dear but what if Numbers develops sleep apnea but Wrench can’t hear him to check if he’s still breathing and one night they have this huge scare because N really does stop breathing so W starts sleeping with a hand on N face which N haaaaaaaaates

oh my god.

Wrench sleeping with his hand on Numbers’ face hahahaha.

Numbers pushes it away the first couple of weeks but Wrench gets mad and scolds him. It always becomes a very sentimental argument with Wrench reminding him how horrible it felt to think that Numbers might have died. So Numbers slowly has to get used to Wrench’s giant paws all over his face at nighttime. He wonders what it’s like for people whose boyfriends don’t snore in their sleep and insist on keeping a hand on their face.

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Wrench didn't mean to,truly. Numbers was getting over a cold&to cheer him up, Wrench was making gingersnaps. He figured Numbers could dip them in his coffee or something. He was just mixing the dough together when Numbers wandered in. Wrench broke out into a huge smile&took hold of Numbers' face, planting a big ol happy kiss onto his sniffly partner's face,& when he pulled away, oh lord. There was flour everywhere. He couldn't help it; he burst out laughing as Numbers fled to the nearest mirror.

Numbers’ perfect hair and perfect bear just covered in flour because someone doesn’t know how to bake without making an absolute mess of everything!

Silly Wrench.


trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Wrench presses flowers from all the places they travel to. Numbers is constantly opening books and having napkins with daisies and roses pressed within them, lovely and forgotten. It has long since stopped bothering him. Instead, he writes little notes on the napkins and leaves them around for Wrench to find. Notes like, "Dummy" and "Idiot" and "Forget something Cowboy" .... Wrench loves it. Because it's adorable.

Gosh that’s so cute. And when Wrench finds them he compiles them all into a scrapbook, keeping the napkin that Numbers wrote on next to the flower’s page just so he can remember the kind things his partner said to him.