I will never stop wondering what instrument Peter played… my big ass trumpet ego is saying he played trumpet and honestly he looks like someone who would play trumpet. MY FAVORITE BOY IS APART OF MY SECTION OH MAH GAWDDDDD
Hamilton: that one asshole saxophonist who never cuts his hair but is still ridiculously good. Has fucked everyone in the section at some point, probably. The band man hoe. Draws dicks on the white board when the director is not there.
John: Horny trumpet player with an ego approximately the size of Boston. Has probably hooked up with every guy to no ones surprise. Makes dick jokes to Alex across the room as the director pretends not to notice. Never practices, but somehow functions??
Lafayette: Plays the French Horn because he is an asshole like that. Makes jokes about fisting the horn. Notates music in French, is really writing swears that the BD can’t read. Has probably stuck his dick in the horn at some point. Is fucking ripped from carrying around a mellophone during marching band.
Hercules: Percussion kid. Can NEVER lose “never ever have I ever”. Does the “badum crash” after every shitty pun someone makes ever. Like hitting things with sticks which is the only reason he joined in the first place but now he can’t leave. Accidentally chipped the $10,000 rosewood marimba. No one knows it was him.
Eliza: Plays the flute, because it is gods gift to the world. Section leader, drum major, ver gay for the percussionist Maria. Is on the phone always but the director does nothing. May have killed a man during band camp. No one knows. Nearly gives the BD a heart attack when she dies her hair pastel pink and blue.
Angelica: Trombonist who constantly threatens to shove it up everyone’s ass. Probably helped Eliza hide the body. Is ver gay. Will decorate trombone for no reason, but will make it themed based on the time of year. Has DEFINITELY hooked up on a field trip. No one knows who with.
Peggy: Calls her instrument a farting bed post, because it is. It’s a bassoon. Plays like an angel. Practices always, but doesn’t really give a fuck.
Is a bit of a kiss ass but that means she gets to hear all the band room gossip from the directors. Also has hooked up on a trip. Once broke her arm playing duck duck goose during band camp.
George Washington: the long suffering band director. Has given up, but loves his job. He is a simple man someone save him from these idiots.
Thomas Jefferson: In orchestra. The asshole gay violinist. Brags about having hickies but they are really violin marks. Thinks he knows everything. Tries to usurp the conductor. Is an asshole to violas, but to be fair so is everyone.
James Madison: Also in orchestra. That one kid who picked the bass thinking he’d grow into it. And then he didn’t. RIP James. Puts up with Thomas only because he’s great in bed. A smol gay.
Aaron Burr: Is a viola. Everyone is an asshole to him. Not noticed. Practices and plays everything perfectly but no one ever hears him. Is so tired help him.
at the end of every year, our band holds like an awards banquet, and people are given serious awards like “best brass player” “leadership award” etc.. But we also have funny awards like “cutest couple” and “two left feet” awards… Anyways. One year the cutest couple award was given to the the most fitting people: the first trumpet player and his ego.
- kaz: saxophone. evil mastermind. uses gossip from the majorettes to undermine anyone not in band (known as the marching dregs)
- inej: majorette. always underestimated and under appreciated. the grace of a dancer, but with kni– um, batons
- nina: drum major. most popular person in band. can get anything she wants from anyone, and her hands hold ALL THE POWER.
- matthias: trumpet. HUGE EGO. the whole section is dedicated to eradicating anything that could be more important than they are (i.e. drum major, percussion)
- jesper: percussion. are percussionists ever NOT moving/tapping/playing? huge flirt, but has a thing for flute players.
- wylan: flute. enough said.