Dear kids that are starting band for the first time.

Instruments don’t have gender. If you are a boy and you want to play flute. Do it. If you are a girl and you want to play tuba. Do it. No one can tell you that since you are a boy you have to play saxophone, trumpet or another instrument like that. Or since you are a girl you have to play flute, clarinet or some instrument like that. Play whatever you want to. No one can tell you other wise.

Band instruments as things I've heard them say
  • Piccolo: .... (I don't think I've ever heard them speak. Thinks they're better than everyone and doesn't talk to other band kids)
  • Flute: guess what 'band director' said about 'piccolo'
  • Oboe: *quietly playing a solo, very concentrated*
  • Bassoon: *squeak*
  • Clarinet: we're gonna play those two notes ff instead of p so it sounds like 'DOOT DOOT' wanna help
  • Bass clarinet: I don't think I play here
  • Alto saxophone: I can fit my whole mouthpiece down my throat I'll show you
  • Tenor saxophone: we either play 4 half notes the entire song...or constant 32nd notes....I don't understand
  • Bari saxophone: so do I do sectionals with the trombones, or...?
  • Trombones: *screams into instrument*
  • Tuba: why am I even here
  • French horn: (secluded, doesn't speak much. Very put together. Know what they're doing)
  • Trumpet: *clearly plays wrong note* that wasn't me
  • Percussion: *screaming* RATCHET SUPREMACY
my opinions on the instruments since you guys are asking (reblog and add yours!!1!)

french horn: honestly so pure. i always think of Dvorak’s 9th when i hear them and u g h y e a s

tuba: my bias here should be obvious

euphonium / baritone: honestly they’re so pretty and cute and nice to listen to. basically improved versions of tubas (sorry @me)

flute: pretty but anyone who can play them is clearly dabbling in dark magic

mellophone: i haven’t met one but i really like their sound. its so nice and… not to be redundant but mellow

trumpet: tbh i could listen to trumpets all day. even beginning players sound amazing to me

trombone: i always listen to the trombones when i’m confused on my part, so they’re sort of my anchor. thanks frens 

piccolo: similar to flutes but the notes are even prettier and the players are using even more dark magic

saxophone: honestly saxophones=awesome jazz to me, and i love jazz, so 

clarinet: they sound like the ethereal wood fairy version of flutes (im not sure why i think this). there’s a really good clarinet player at our school so i always think of their solos when clarinets get brought up

oboe: like clarinets but more flute and less wood fairy

bassoon: oboes but stronger

percussion: thank you kind friends for keeping the beat when i am too lazy to count

piano: probably the very purest musical insturment

viola: like with french horns i always think of Dvorak and how awesome y'all’s parts are in his stuff

violin: amazing but also definitely dark magic

cello: i live to listen to cello solos. (also just Dvorak in general, but the two are intertwined)

bass: you’re the string version of me. i respect you

tl;dr I REALLY LIKE CLASSICAL MUSIC

official musician compatibility

orchestra

1st violins: compatible with other first violins (to maintain the pure blood) and principle cello

2nd violins: compatible with violas because you’re both basically the same thing anyway. not compatible with other seconds because you’re just such awkward people 

violas: compatible only with other violas so you don’t infect the others with your viola cooties

cellos: compatible with pretty much anyone, but only if you’re first or second stand

basses: compatible with everyone at the same time because you’re generally attractive people just saying


band

flutes: compatible with clarinets and kazoos, and also first violins because you’re both the only people who can read ledger lines in treble clef really well

piccolos: only works with the oboe, because both of your instruments can really hurt to listen to

oboes: compatible with clarinets, but only if gay

clarinets: compatible with flutes, and with oboe because you share the bond of having people mistake your instrument for the other

bassoons: you’re kind of awkward people, but trumpet players (and traitorous second violins) find it endearing so there’s that

horns (french, english, and car): compatible with trumpet and trombone

trumpets: could actually be compatible with first violins if they weren’t so snooty

trombones: compatible with tuba just because the average person doesn’t know the difference between the two anyway

tuba (singular because what band would want multiple tubas): could be in a relationship with other under-appreciated instruments, like the bassoon, bass, kazoo, and viola

euphonium: lol did you think I would actually talk about this instrument

percussion: the sluts of the musical world. could get anyone they wanted to


choir

pretty much everyone in choir is gay, so just keep that in mind and go nuts


*other instruments like harp, piano, and guitar are forever alone

*mingling between band and orchestra, orchestra and choir, choir and band is a sin but sin is okay as long as no one knows about it