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(via tenThing plays Carmen - YouTube)

ATTENTION MARCHING BAND KIDS WITH GLASSES

“Band, ready, set”
You’ve been called to attention. It’s 102 degrees outside, you haven’t had a water break in what seems like hours, and you’re sweating buckets. You know you’re not allowed to move or else you’ll have to run a lap. What… what’s that feeling… it’s… your glasses…. they’re sliding down your nose… either you fix them and run a lap (and die of heat exhaustion) or you let them fall to their death… those are your only two options… right?
Wrong.

“Well Gee wiz what other choice do I have?”

I’ll tell ya. There’s this stuff called Nerd Wax. It’s made out of beeswax and it’s the bomb diggity. Just smear a little of the stuff on the inside of the bridge of your glasses, put your glasses on and voila! They don’t fall! It’s sweat resistant, so it would keep your glasses in place even if you were marching through the hottest pits of hell.

“But I don’t want beeswax all over my fingers because then it’d get on my instrument.”
Well I’m glad you don’t want that because you’re not gonna get that. It comes in a little tube just like cork grease or chap stick. It’s small so you can carry it with you in your pocket, in your dot book, even in your cleavage if you want.

“Ugh. I want it but I bet it’s super expensive”
Nope nope nope. It’s only $10 for one tube that will honestly last the entire marching season.

“It won’t last the whole season. I might lose it”
Well, if you do, just buy two! When you buy two you get another one for the low low price of FREE. And it’s shipped right from the factory to your front doorstep for not one dollar, not two dollars, but zero dollars. Yes friends, buy two Nerd Wax, get another one free and get it all shipped absolutely free!

“Sweet! I want it! But where do I get it?”
Well, you open up your Internet and in the address bar you just type nerdwax.com

That’s all there is to it!

The signs as musical instruments

Aries: Trumpet

Nothing characterizes Aries better than a bold, commanding trumpet fanfare. The trumpet is a classic, bright, forefront instrument that is always ready to take the stage.

Taurus: Saxophone 

Known for its jazzy sensuality, the luxurious, classy-yet-alluring nature of the saxophone is a great representation of Taurus.

Gemini: Cello

Able to be fingerpicked or played with a bow, the cello is both versatile and warm and even bright at times, and this reminds me of Gemini thoroughly.

Cancer: Flute

Soft and sweet often, but bright and perky when need be, the flute characterizes sweet, chatty Cancer well.

Leo: Timpani(aka Kettle Drum)

The timpani(the first instrument on this list I’ve played before, oddly enough) is a very bold, distinct instrument that has to played in just the right way for it to pop. It’s this bold, temperamental nature that has me thinking “Leo”.

Virgo: Violin

Violin is known for it’s precise, classy music, and it’s this accuracy, clarity, and class that is a very good representation of Virgo.

Libra: Acoustic Guitar

Ah, acoustic guitar. Romantic, calm, folky or fantastic, it’s very popular, versatile and friendly. It’s this grace and softness that embodies Libra.

Scorpio: Armonica(no, not harmonica)

The Armonica is a wildly misunderstood instrument, with a very unique, haunting tone. It’s this depth and anotherness that represents Scorpio.

Sagittarius: Bagpipes

Most people would say that bagpipes are an…aquired taste, and I’m inclined to agree. Their sound is very unique, abrasive, and jarring, not to mention bold, and this is just like Sagittarius, though admittedly I prefer bagpipes to most Sagittarians unfortunately.

Capricorn: Tuba

The tuba is a wildly underrated instrument. Having been in concert bands before, I can say without a doubt that the tuba is necessary for the depth and warmth of a concert band. They necessitate hard work and effort and practice, and this is what truly reflects Capricorn.

Aquarius: Nose Flute

Unique, unexpected, and(despite that it’s been around forever) often shunned by traditional/higher class people due to the fact that it does involve the nose, the eccentric nose flute is a perfect representation of the odd Aquarian.

Pisces: Clarinet

As long as you’re not listening to Squidward, the clarinet is a sweet, versatile instrument that can be bright and upbeat or sweet and understanding and melancholy. They can portray a lot of passion softly, and even when being more bold retain a smooth tone, and this is very reminiscent of Pisces.

~Sergeant Scorpion