true us

it’s so weird hearing americans talk about Target© as some kind of semi-religious holy space of reasonably priced goods and services, bc in it’s short, fever-dream existence up here in the frozen north it was… Not Good. 

in my experience with the three (3) i went to in the surrounding area it was. uh. you know when you step into a place and there’s nothing immediately noticeably wrong but you can just Feel that this is a Bad Space? like the kind of space where if you catch a glimpse of your mother walking down an aisle and turning a corner you know it’s a demonic trick and if you follow her it’ll lead you down a path to a dark space you can’t return from?

or you go in with your friend who’s right next to you but you get a text from them saying “hey i’m in the shoe aisle, you should come here” and you know it’s a trap from the devil? like other things:

  • only half of the dim, washed out, often flickering fluorescent lights were lit at any given time, usually only every-other set, leaving these valleys of darkness that made entire aisles inaccessible for fear of shadow people latching on to your soul like a dark passenger. 
  • entire sections were just Empty. empty shelves with no product, never any employees filling them up, no boxes waiting to be unpacked, no signs saying what should be there.
  • no employees at all actually? wandering around the store even though the parking lots were full and you walked in with a group of 20 or so felt so lonely. you could walk the whole place and it was dead silent and the only other “people” around always were several aisles away with their back turned, unmoving. there was always only one cashier and there was never anyone in her line.
  • there was never any music on or announcements played? another place that does this are all the dollar trees in my area and it gives me anxiety. i feel like i’m being hunted, like i have to hold my breath and listen for the footsteps of beasts in other aisles. 
  • the fitting rooms had a strange, dark energy to them. it felt like if you ever used them, whatever universe you closed the door on would not be the same one you stepped out into when you were done. the washrooms also contained this same dark energy.
  • passing the employees-only doors felt like wandering too close to a bears den. the glass windows never showed anything going on back there, no racks of product, no employees milling around. it was just pitch black, complete darkness. a hungry void.
  • leaving a target was the same disorienting feeling as leaving a dark theatre and exiting into the light. sound and colour and feeling rush back in. you feel like you can breathe again. a weight is lifted from your shoulders. you can’t remember any of the time you spent inside the target.

it is my sincere belief that the targets in canada never existed. the storefronts were put up, yes, but the stores themselves were vast empty caverns filled with dark dreams and sinister interlopers attracted to the malignant leftover energies from zellers. passing through the automatic doors was meant to teleport us to the nearest american location, but something went wrong and we entered an unnatural zone halfway between the upside down and whatever it was that happened in the langoliers. 

i believe the balls outside target are carefully crafted and powerfully attuned magical artifacts that keep up the illusion known as Target©, but were incorrectly spaced in canada due to a mixup between the metric and imperial systems of measurement, and that is why the brief twilight zone episode that was canadian target collapsed virtually overnight.

i acted like it wasn’t a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart.

Day 17

“There’s 2 incredible things that are close to magic in life and that’s when people get together for sports and when people get together for music. I think you know like people look at a concert as something very simple in life but think about it: there’s gonna be 10.000 people in this room tonight, who know all the lyrics, who love the music for the same reason, it makes them all feel good at the same time and that doesn’t happen unless it’s in music and that’s very special because to get that many humans all together singing the same song, feeling the same way is very rare”

This is what concerts are about. This is what they SHOULD be about.

sanvers high school au where alex has a big gay crush on maggie and starts an anonymous instagram poetry account where she writes cheesy sapphic poetry

and then it BLOWS UP and the whole school is following it and speculating who the author is because it gets really fucking romantic and all these girls are swooning and alex swears to never come clean because it’s embarrassing af 

and people start trying to compare everyone’s handwriting to this account’s but alex manages to get away with it because she’s one of those people who can write in like 7 different fonts of handwriting

but duh maggie knows it’s alex because they’ve had english together since freshman year and she always sees the little poems alex doodles in the margins but she doesn’t know it’s meant for her but she’s had a crush on alex for AGES

so she starts quoting alex to alex in all of their conversations and alex starts bugging out and realises that maggie knows but she’s still too nervous to make the first move

so she writes a poem that’s explicitly about maggie (idk dimples and short or some other shit) and maggie pulls her behind the bleachers and kisses her and alex was like ‘they were all about you, you know’ 

and then they make out a bit more

The hero and the sharpshooter

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>My friends:</b> I have a master degree in psychology, I study architecture, I'm a professional dancer....<p/><b>Me:</b> I'm a professional fangirl<p/></p><p/></p>
  • Otayuri fandom: Overly-dramatic Otayuri!!!! Yuri’s super Extra™ and WON’T HESITATE, BITCH!!!!! Otabek is a DJ with a stoic face!!!!!! Yuri’s the more impulsive and assertive one while Otabek's more responsible and makes sure everything’s under control!!!!!!!! Otayuri has a strong friendship and actively supports one another!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Kubo-sensei: Those are some nice headcanons you got there, children..... Hope you guys don't mind if I casually........ make them canon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)