true doom

Me: *coughs up blood*

Me: I’m fine

Me: *sleeps two hours over a span of three days*

Me: I’m fine

Me: *sees the grim reaper looming out my window*

Me: I’m fine

Band I Like: *puts out new music*

Me: IM TOTALLY NOT FINE THIS IS CODE RED CODE RED SOUND THE ALARMS

Jake English would probably stan for the Star Wars prequels. Not like the fanboy Wookiepedia continuity geek “let me tell you about the technical specs of this droid who shows up in this one scene” stan, but as a man who sees the potential in every film. Like so:

“No john you see the star wars prequels are in of fact a poignant tragedy! The jedi order have been flipped to a broken and decaying institution of the galaxy and despite the good men and women and aliens within their order burearucracy and rules impede them in their quest for justice. And among it all the cause of its true downfall is a doomed romance needled in just the right direction by a sith the jedi were so arrogantly blind to he basically became their president! And yes john there are a lot of as you call them ‘big dumb cgi action scenes’ and i happen to like them a lot. What the fuck of it?”