BECAUSE THIS IS ALL IVE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS, have a catering au~
Rhys is the owner and he’s pretty much the best boss anyone could ever have. Quality pay. Good manners. Everything runs smoothly under him.
Amren is the manager under him, but no one ever sees her do anything. She shows up to events and probably orders linen or something and she always has an opaque starbucks cup in hand that never has coffee in it. No one’s sure what she drinks but they just know that you don’t mess with Amren’s stuff. Always well dressed, usually black slacks and a pristine, pressed shirt with a statement necklace every time. Never eats any of the food despite being around it 24/7.
Mor manages the staff and is ON HER GAME. She sends out a prompt, color coordinated schedule every week and everyone’s times are always perfect. She knows what she’s about. She’s pretty hands on with running everything, and always makes an effort to check in on every event and help run them. She’s also the only one to show up at a 6 am shift on a saturday morning still in her club dress from the night before with heels in hand (she always keeps a change of clothes in her office for nights like those). Always keeps things fun, especially on long days and always brings in snacks for everyone in the mornings and organizes a work party for every excuse she can. (They definitely have monthly parties to celebrate everyone’s birthday in that month)
Cassian, oh Cassian… is the chef. The kitchen is loud and he’s usually laughing and he always, always keeps his hair in a bun and fills out his jacket very nicely (Nesta approves). His food is to die for and he’s always throwing in a few extra things he whips up for the staff. He comes with them to events to help plate food and will check up on the crowd to make sure they like everything. Could probably take a rack out of an oven and not feel a thing. Fingertips are probably burned off at this point, it’s a running joke that if anything is too hot to carry, Cass can just handle it for you. (he always jokes that he can carry all the burning hot things because he’s equally as hot and Nesta is just -_- even though she’s basically in agreement)
Azriel is the baker, and he makes all the breads and desserts they serve. He and Cass work hand in hand a lot to get everything done and they’re always asking each other to try their thing to make sure it tastes good. Az prefers being in the back of house because he doesn’t particularly enjoy the interacting part of the job and it’s usually chaotic in front of everyone. And every once in a while, when Mor is having a bad day, he makes sure there are “extra” slices of her favorite triple chocolate cake on her desk that he definitely didn’t make just for her, not at all.
Nesta is a server who’s relatively new, but still gets it done. She sets tables like a beast and everything she does is precise, clean, and even if she’s just pushed that one disturbingly massive hotbox half a mile to a venue, she’s never sweaty or has a hair out of place, it’s truly astonishing. She also definitely doesn’t have a thing for the chef. Not at all. It’s not like she stares at his forearms when he rolls up the sleeves of his white uniform or always casually suggests that she can be the one to go pick up the food from the kitchen.
Elain is another server who pretty much always ends up working the bars. She can be a little slow setting things up sometimes, but she’s still a hard worker and everyone loves her enough that she could take fifty years to set a beverage station and everyone would still smile at her. She enjoys the jobs that involve interacting with people and can somehow magically pour red wine over a white tablecloth and keep them absolutely pristine.
Feyre is a server too, so she does everything, but they usually leave the design elements up to her. She’ll help Cass plate the food sometimes, or arrange a board of fruit into cool shapes. She and Rhys are shamelessly dating even though everyone is ??? “wait ur dating ur boss?” No one cares though, and its usually never a problem except that one time Mor walked into Rhys’s office without knocking and found them making out with her sitting in his lap.
Lucien (you can thank @highfaelucien for this idea) runs the flower shop that supplies centerpieces/decorations, and he always hangs around after a delivery to talk with everyone… aka flirt with the pretty server who blushes when he hands her a flower. He has his usual beautifully long hair and will mostly keep it up for work so it doesn’t get in the way. He’s always casually, immaculately dressed and smells ridiculously good (not that Elain has noticed). He has his cartilage pierced too, and Elain definitely doesn’t drool over his earrings when he has his hair pulled back out of the way. Their interactions are mainly Lucien being >:) and ;) while Elain blushes beet red.
Other assorted pieces:
Sometimes when they’re just finishing cleaning up, Mor and Cass will have a drink after (no one knows how they aren’t tired). Mor supplies the alcohol. Cassian supplies the dessert. They’ll sit in the empty kitchen and share a slice of cake and trade stories about all the weird stuff that happened that day.
Nesta and Mor definitely make out at the Christmas party one year. Mor is in this little red dress with black tights and heels and they end up with red lipstick smeared all over their faces, stumbling out of the linen closet.
Cass tries to woo Nesta with food and it works better than he thought it might. At first he thinks he’ll make some big, fancy dessert, but then he’s like… nah STEAK. Az walks by Cassian’s station and is confused at first because there’s nothing they need that for that night? But he turns it over in the pan and casually says that Nesta is hungry…. “You’re trying to romance her…. with meat???” “Steaks are sexy Azriel.” Luckily though, Cass is very :))) when he brings Nesta’s plate to her and her eyes go a little wide because he really didn’t have to do that, really he didn’t. But since its there…. She digs into it and probably lets out this moan that has Cass grinning wider and he goes down to brag to Az about her liking it.
Az feeds the cats behind the building every night and Mor thinks its adorable. One is looking particularly worse for wear, though, and he ends up taking it home and basically adopting it. Mor proudly calls herself the kitty’s “co parent” and goes around bragging about their child to everyone while Az blushes in the background.
Nesta has been forever banned from driving the truck because her road rage + a giant truck is really not a good idea. She’s thiiiiis close to being banned from the truck whenever Cassian is in it too because they inevitably end up fucking in the back of it while he lifts her onto a cart.
when Nessian are finally together, he brings back homemade whipped cream and chocolate sauce for them to use ~that night~ but it just devolves into Nesta laughing so hard she’s crying because she can’t take Cassian seriously when he’s spraying whipped cream onto her boobs.
Tan skin rippled across taut muscles, delicately framing the sinewed shape of lean, strong arms that glistened with beads of sweat mixed with dirt.
“D’you get a new landscaper, Nick?” you asked your friend, continuing to watch as the man knelt over a flowerbed while yanking out weeds. He tossed it aside into a bucket for clippings, and as if he felt your gaze on him, he turned around and spotted you standing at the window. Catching the way you straightened, affirming that you had been staring at him, he chuckled with a smirk, wiping his damp brow with the back of his hand and turned back to his task.
“Hmm?” Nick asked, coming out of the fridge with two beers and handing one of them to you. He caught sight of your shy expression and the man working hard out in his garden, nodding as he understood your question. “No, that’s Harry. He owns the company, but I guess they’re understaffed since Harry’s covering for Marcus while he’s on holiday. We hang out sometimes–he’s pretty chill. Watch romcoms together. He’ll be hangin’ around after he’s finished.”
You were only half listening as your attention fell back to the man—Harry, as Nick had said—watching his back curve perfectly as he struggled with a stubborn weed, the hem of his florescent yellow t-shirt riding up to expose more tanned skin and more sweat.
“Alright, then,” Nick continued, with an annoyed yet amused smile as he took a sip of his beer. “Let’s head outside so you can enjoy the view.”
“Sure,” you agreed without thinking about his comment. Head in the clouds, you followed him toward the sliding glass door that led out to the patio, stepping halfway through before realizing what he said. “Hey!”
“What?” he laughed. “Should I have added, more than you already are?” he teased. You had to laugh because of course he was right, and honestly you didn’t mind removing the layer of glass between you and this gardener from the heavens.
I’m in a long line at the drive-thru
and to keep from blocking the parking lot’s intersection, I leave a little space in front of me. Trying to be courteous. That said, anyone with at least one working eye-ball could tell I was in line.
I’m sitting there watching the rain, thinking about whether I should get grilled chicken or just go for the double burger, when a work truck cuts in front of me.
I raise my arms in sheer disapproval, and he has the nerve to flip me off.
Not cool at all.
Since it’s raining, I realize the indoor line is probably short, so I pull into a parking space. I jog into the restaurant to find that the line is only two people long. Super stoked. After a short wait I have a yummy grease-bomb burger in hand. I get back into my car and see that truck dude is still in line. That alone feels good, but I really want him to know I got my food before him. Out of principle.
So I time out blocking him in as he exits the drive thru. Innocently, you know? Heh.
I should tell you that when I’m really happy in life … like really content in the moment, I laugh uncontrollably. I let it out like a suffocating pig gasping for breath. It’s a spectacle even without the sound effects.
I laugh that hard in front of this guy – the frowny-faced truck fucko – for about 15 seconds. His look of anger turns to confusion and settles into acceptance. I’ve had my moment – I’ve seen all shades of defeat – so I carry along and enjoy my goddam double cheese burger.
Tried to give shitty neighbour a taste of his own medicine. Ended up getting him some hefty fines.
My initial plan should have resulted in an @petty-revenge-stories worthy post, but I inadvertently ended up going a lot further. (long story: tl;dr at the end)
My neighbour, let’s call him Dave, is a twat. Literally everyone on the street hates him. The previous owners of our house left because of him: we gave them a lowball offer on the house which they accepted straight away because Dave drove them crazy. We initially didn’t pay much mind because, for 10/12 years that we’ve lived here he’s been pretty courteous, even very helpful. His attitude changed over the past 2 years. He’s started complaining about the volume of my guitar playing even though his dog is yapping away 24/7 - bear in mind this is a dog which he doesn’t even let out of the house. He forced us to reposition our CCTV cameras so they didn’t look into his gardens, then put up his own which look into ours claiming it’s his property so he can do what he wants. Some craftsmen came to do work on our roof, and he complained about them to the council on a small technicality with their scaffolding, causing them to get fined.
Confession: I am sitting here laughing so hard at my own fucking nonsense that I am gonna have to compose myself before writing a rambly artist note.
Will you even look at this.
Okay, so: This was a gag gift, you know it was a gag gift, obviously a very well-thought out one that took some planning, but the person who gave it was apparently unaware that while you can take the man out of Iowa, you cannot take the Iowa out of the man. Even if you manage to surgically excise every trace of Midwest, you’d STILL have someone who used to wear a purple miniskirt to work.
Last statement here is that if you’re new enough to Hawkeye that you don’t recognise the GOSH I LOVE ARROWS thing, I am going to give you the pleasure of Googe-Image-Searching it yourself. Enjoy! You’ve picked the right Avenger to love, you really have.