troy house

Harry Potter #1

I may have noticed that a whole bunch of you were potterheads during one of my stalking sessions. well, here is our version! 


books :

- the philosopher’s stone : à l’école des sorciers (”at the wizards’ school” because vive la révolution idk why the translator did that)

- the chamber of secrets : et la chambre des secrets (chambre : usually bedroom)

- the prisoner of Azkaban : le prisonnier d’Azkaban

- the goblet of fire : la coupe de feu (gobelet : usually plastic cup)

- the order of the phoenix : l’ordre du phénix

- the half-blood prince : le prince de sang-mêlé (”mixed blood”)(half : demi)

- the deathly hallows : les reliques de la mort (”and the relics of death”)


basics :

- hogwarts : poudlard (pou : louse, lard : pork fat)

- ravenclaw : serdaigle (serre : talon) / eagle : aigle (m)

- gryffindor : gryffondor / lion : lion-ne

- slytherin : serpentard (ard : pejorative suffixe) / snake : serpent (m)

- hufflepuff : poufsouffle (souffle : breath, breeze) / badger : blaireau (m)

- wizardry / wizard / witch : sorcellerie (f) / sorcier / sorcière

- muggle : moldu-e / squib : cracmol-e

- mudblood : sang-de-bourbe (sang : blood, bourbe : sludge, mud (rare))

- galleon / sickle / knut : gallion / mornille / noise


Hogwarts related :

- Hogwarts express : Poudlard express / platform nine and three-quarters : plateforme neuf trois-quarts

- house : maison (f) / teacher : professeur-e

- prefect : préfet/fète / headboy : préfet en chef

- castle : château (m) / the restricted section : la Réserve 

- whomping willow : saule (m) cogneur (cogner, v : to bang, hit) / forbidden forest : forêt (f) interdite / gamekeeper : garde-chasse (ep) (chasse (f) : hunt)

- great hall : grande salle “big room”

- marauder’s map : la carte des maraudeurs / Moony : Lunard (lune (f) : moon) / Wormtail : Queudver (queue (f) de ver : ”tail of a worm”) / Padfoot : Patmol (patte (f) molle : “squishy paw”) / Prongs : Cornedrue (corne (f) : horn, dru-e, adj : heavy, thick)

- house championship : coupe des quatre maisons “cup of the four houses”


studies related :

- OWL (Ordinary Wizarding Level) : BUSE (Brevet Universel de Sorcellerie Elémentaire) (buse (f) : buzzard)

- NEWT (Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests) : ASPIC (Accumulation de Sorcellerie Particulièrement Intensive et Contraignante) (contraignant-e : restricting)(aspic (m) : asp, type of snake)

- outstanding : optimal / exceeds expectations : efforts exceptionnels / acceptable : acceptable / poor : piètre (: mediocre) / dreadful : désolant (: distressing) / troll

- pr Grubbly-Plank : pr Gobe-Planche (gober, v : to gulp down) / Severus Snape : Severus Rogue (rogue, adj (rare) : arrogant, haughty) / Madam Hooch : Madame Bibine (bibine : cheap wine (fam)) / pr Sprout : pr Chourave (chou : cabbage, rave/navet : turnip)

- ancient runes : runes / arithmancy : arithmancie (f) / astronomy : astronomie (f) / care of magical creatures : cours (m) de soins aux créatures magiques / charms : sortilèges (m) / defense against the dark arts : cours de défense contre les forces du mal / divination : divination (f) / flying : vol (m) / herbology : botanique (f) / history of magic : histoire (f) de la magie  / muggle studies : étude (f) des moldus / potions : potions (f)

- polyjuice potion : polynectar / transfiguration : métamorphose (f)


the second part of this post will be my next one, patience! let me just tell you that the audiobooks are accessible on YOUTUBE! here’s a last treat :

step one: start vaguely headcanonning helen of sparta/troy as not attracted to men

step two: get really, really invested in helen not being attracted to men

step three: be sad forever because she never wanted any of this, any of them, and paris was just the next man who wanted to have her, before him is was menelaus and before him were all the damned danaan kings and before them was theseus and she has never been free from men and she’s never loved any of them, the only men she loved were her brothers- castor and pollux, and then later hector, but all men want her and so all men will have her, because there’s no place in this world for a woman who doesn’t want men, especially one as beautiful as her and she curses her face more than any long suffering soldier does because it’s condemned her to be stolen and taken for as long as she’s young and lovely and it makes all the women she’d want to be sisters to (or closer than sisters) hate her in jealousy or for their dead husbands and sons and- she didn’t want this. she didn’t want this war, she didn’t want the suitors, she didn’t want her divine blood and fair cheeks, but that’s what she got and she’ll never be free or safe or in love for as long as she lives because that’s the game the gods want to play

youtube

Full House: The Next Generation

Mrs. Landingham

So yesterday I reblogged a photoset of Mrs. Landingham with a remark in the tags about how I wanted to do an AU fic of Mrs. Landingham in a universe where her sons didn’t die. I think it could be a neat story, short vignettes maybe. I get these ideas all the time and jot them down in a Word doc for later in case I need inspiration. Maybe sometime I will write it. 

Anyway, I was browsing in the kitchen tonight when my husband, who is the source of most of my best and worst fic prompts said “What you really need to do is write the absolutely most evil West Wing fic prompt ever.” 

“The Erotic Adventures of Glen-Allen Walken?” I guessed with a shudder. (He has suggested this to me several times, it was orginally an alternative prompt to the one I wrote Achieving Mediocrity from.) 

“No, no, that’s a tenderhearted exploration of an older man finding satisfaction in carnal love,” he assured me. “This is the one where Mrs. Landingham’s sons just show up one day at the White House.” 

“What?” 

“And they explain to Charlie that she tells everybody that story. It’s just her way.” 

By now I was laughing. “ ‘You won’t come home for Christmas? You’re both dead to me!’ She tells everybody that. Shes the Lwaxana Troi of the White House.”

“But it’s hard to tell because she’s got that deadpan personality,” he added. “And the other staffers are all ‘She got us with that story too. And it was especially weird on the campaign because they were helping out!’” 

“’You should’ve seen Donna after she heard the story, when Andrew showed up at the campaign office in the middle of the night!’”

My husband took up Mrs. L’s voice. “Yeah, and that was the first time she jumped in your arms, wasn’t it, Lyman? You’re welcome!” 

I laughed pretty hard at that and agreed it was definitely the evilest story. But he wasn’t done. “But think about the President! ‘She does this sort of thing all the time! I had my concession speech IN MY HAND before she told me she was joking on Election Night!’” 

“Mrs. Landingham told him he needed an older sister. She didn’t tell him that sometimes older sisters are mean bullies!” 

“’There needs to be one person in this world who can still give you noogies, Mr. President, and that’s me.’” 

And that is how we invented the story of Chaotic Neutral Mrs. Landingham, the greatest evil story never told.