trot bot

anonymous asked:

Dragon AU! Does Loki ever come back and meet Tony for some reason? And Tony's so happy and bumbling he's just like 'why are you like this???' And then just threatens to murder all those who harm in and slithers away and Tony's like 'He's lonely' and 'I like him'

Loki actually plans to never come back because he is 1) On the run from both his family and the knights chasing him and 2) Too solitary to fit in with the happy family that is the people in the dilapidated castle. But then he hears that all the knights chasing him have met a… tragic end. So he goes back to see for himself, because he doesn’t trust people’s words. He trusted his parents, after all–and they turned out not to be his real parents.

So Loki comes back, and he asks Thor, because for all that his family hurt him, Thor has never lied to him, not knowingly. Thor is just explaining in detail how Bruce trampled two of the knights when Loki hears a yelp, and then a “TONY NO,” before something bashes into Loki’s side. Loki turns with a snarl just in time to see Tony scrabbling up his side, beaming. “You came back!” “I’m not staying,” Loki answers immediately, but Tony ignores him, running down the length of Loki’s body to the tip of his tail before running back up to his shoulder. “You’re really long! Thor’s not long. He’s just big. Will I be long?” Loki digs his claws into the ground and makes a little wheezing noise. “Unfortunately, the likelihood is quite small,” Thor answers. “Just like you.” “I’M NOT SMALL!” Tony bellows, offended, and swings his wings petulantly. He knocks himself off-balance with his flailing and yelps as he accidentally throws himself from Loki’s shoulder. “Ah!” Loki makes that wheezing noise again. Thor smiles at him fondly.

“I cannot possibly afford to feed you,” Rhodey tells Loki, and Loki regains his bearings and snarls. “I am not staying.” “Good, I don’t want you here,” Rhodey retorts. Loki feels the immediate and petulant urge to never leave just to piss this man off. But he is an adult and not a slave to his baser urges, so he will not. “Do you wanna meet my babies?” Tony asks excitedly, and Loki lifts his hand to clutch at his chest in horror, because this child can’t possibly have babies. Well, technically he could, but he can’t imagine Thor would allow a little one to rush into having a clutch like this.

The bot-lizards are smaller than one of his scales. Loki lets out that wheezing noise again. They are not Tony’s actual children but they always rush back to him after scaling Loki like he is, chirping, and Tony always looks ridiculously proud when they do so. “Alright, well, it’s time for supper. Let’s leave the giant scary dragons to talk about giant scary dragon things.” “I’m a giant scary dragon!” Tony whines, and he bot-lizards chirp in agreement, bouncing on their toes. “…You’re a medium-sized scary dragon,” Rhodey allows. Tony turns to look at Loki and Thor for a moment before looking back at Rhodey and nodding. “Yeah, alright.” Rhodey smiles fondly and turns to lead the way back into the castle. Tony and the bot-lizards trot after him cheerfully. It’s like watching a mama duck and her ducklings. Loki wheezes again.

“It almost makes you want a clutch of your own, doesn’t it,” Thor chortles. “NO,” Loki says loudly even though it does. “I’M LEAVING.” “I wish you safe travels.” Loki starts to slither away, but then he whips right back, getting up in his brother’s face. “If anything happens to that boy I will ice over the entire country.” “Or you could just come help us,” Thor suggests. “The. Entire. Country.”

(“I like him!” Tony says happily. Rhodey sighs out his nose and lies, “He seems nice.” “I think he’s lonely! He looked like I felt when you found me with Mom and Dad.” Everyone makes sad noises at him but Tony remains oblivious, ripping his rack of pork into smaller pieces for the bot-lizards.)

((Loki arrives back in the winter months, awkwardly explaining, “It is… tradition, to spend Yule with family.” “Alright,” Rhodey says slowly. Natasha is a little more than pissed off when some tall asshole with long black hair follows Rhodey into the dining room. “Another person?!” “Brother!” Thor booms happily, spreading his arms. “I do not want a hug. Thor, I do not want a hug. I DO NOT WANT A oh for the love of,” Loki sighs as Thor pulls him into a hug anyway.))