trolled in real life

why don’t people talk about the fact that L’s name is literally just L? this bitch really going around using his first name as his Secret Detective Alias because he’s a fucking troll who knows no one would suspect a whole ass human would actually have a letter for his whole ass name

Fic: Tom Holland Hair Watch 2017

SJust a goofy little something I put together. It’s probably not great.

Title: Tom Holland Hair Watch 2017 (after a hashtag I tried to start that didn’t take off - you people and your Hoodiegate, really)

Pairing: Tom Holland/Reader

Word Count: 690

Warnings: It’s so fluffy I’m gonna DIE

Summary: Tom makes a very concerning tweet regarding his hair.

You pull into the lot at the studio, tires screeching as you parked the car. You practically sprint to set, waving your visitor’s badge at Herb the Security Guard as you made your way to Tom’s trailer.

You didn’t know if he’d be in there or not. But you have a bottled water, some trail mix to snack on, and your phone is fully charged. So you are content to wait.

What spurred this sudden set visit? One tweet, three words:

Bye bye hair

You spent the drive to the studio wondering what he meant by that. Fully-shaved head? Mohawk? What he referred to in a tweet in June as a “buz cut”? Maybe a full-body wax?

At any rate, you want to see what he’s done to those wavy auburn locks and you want to see it right now.

You quietly unlock the trailer with the spare key Tom gave you. An extra spots you - “Oh, hey, (y/n). Tom’s just finishing up his scenes for the day. Should be done any minute.” You nod in thanks and head into the trailer, settling down on his couch.

You sip your water and munch on some of the trail mix as you scroll Instagram. About twenty minutes after your arrival, you hear the trailer door open.

Tom walks in, and smiles when he sees you. He’s wearing jeans, a black hoodie, and his favorite black baseball cap.

“Oh, hello, darling!” He says excitedly. “Wasn’t expecting you, what brings-”

“Take the hat off.”

Tom laughs shortly. “Can I have a kiss first, please?”

You get up, press a soft kiss to his lips, then repeat: “Take the hat off.”

“I take it you saw the tweet, then, eh?”

Thomas Stanley Holland. If you don’t take that hat off, I swear to-”

Tom raises his hands defensively. “Alright, alright. Hat’s coming off.” He reaches for the hat, then stops. “Did’ja notice I shaved the mustache, though?”

You roll your eyes. “I did. You are a very handsome young man. Now can you please take off the hat?”

He reaches for the hat again. “And the beard?”

“That thing barely qualified as a beard, babe. So sorry to tell you that.” You fold your arms and furrow your brow. “I recall asking very nicely and saying please.”

Tom smirks. “Oh, alright.” He grabs the bill of the cap, and slowly pulls it off his head.

You brace yourself, fully expecting the worst. You’re thinking you’ll see peach fuzz, or a bare head, or a mohawk or (shudder) a mullet.

Instead, you see the same wavy auburn locks you fell in love with. They’re just a little less wavy.

“Well, whatcha think, love?”

Your heart stops mid-beat. Good LORD, you think to yourself. He looks so damn sexy. But, you can’t resist having a little fun with him as you scrunch up your face playfully. “I drove all the way here to see what you did to your head and it’s just a trim?! REALLY?!”

“Darling, it’s hardly a trim. I cut off two inches and all my curls, and-”

You smile, gently cupping his face in your hands and kissing his cheek. “I’m teasing, babe. It looks really good.” You rake your fingers through his hair, actually liking the way the shorter strands slip through. “Like, if it were possible for you to get any hotter, you just did it.”

Tom smirks at you. “You know, I am done for the day.”

“Are you making a poor attempt to seduce me, Mr. Holland?”

“Maybe.” He sticks his tongue out slightly and waggles his eyebrows at you.

You burst into laughter.

“I love you, you giant goof.”

Tom wraps his arms around you. “I love you too, darling.” He kisses you deeply as you make your way back toward the couch.

“Your fans are probably freaking out,” you point out between kisses. “You gonna update Instagram?”
“Nah.” Tom slips his hands under your shirt. “Make ‘em wait a couple days.”

You roll your eyes. “Dear God, I’m dating a real-life Internet troll.”

“You love me.” He peppers your jawline with kisses.

“Yeah, I do.”

i’m still amazed at an*tis’ failure to grasp the fact that the reason many people ship something is simply because it’s an ‘interesting dynamic’. Not because they see it as some sort of healthy and ideal state of existence for the characters. 

reasons a dynamic may be interesting to a person:

  • the potential for differing character development which arises out of it
  • identifying with a certain character or their experience
  • the nature of their potential or canon interactions (e.g. love/hate, best friend banter, opposites attract)
  • it is uncommon/taboo and the characters are a useful vessel to explore the complexities of such a relationship
  • it appeals to their specific kinks and turns them on

reasons why it is okay for people to do this:

  • it’s fictional
  • it’s not real
  • no real people were harmed in the making of x fanwork

reasons why you don’t need to be on a high horse:

  • no one is going around saying bad things are actually good in real life
  • (and no, troll posts don’t count)
  • we don’t exist in a social vacuum
  • society has established what is right and what is wrong
  • all of us here are aware
  • you are not more enlightened than the rest
  • because you read x tumblr post that once stated the obvious

reasons why it’s okay for people to share x works on the internet:

  • the internet is a public forum
  • the internet is not a safe space
  • you are in charge of protecting yourself
  • with the tools provided by a limited system
  • works are tagged with warnings
  • if you know you don’t like something then don’t read it
  • you know like real world media
  • or how i don’t watch horror movies
  • because i can see they’re labelled ‘horror’

What is real life

orbiculator  asked:

So I saw your post on Tolkienesque races/species the other day, and I think your concept of trolls as echinoderms is among the most inventive I've seen so far. So are they like giant, tippy-toeing craggy terrestrial starfish when mature? Or maybe they're more of a mish mash between all taxa, reminiscent of the Elder Things?

They were a “hybrid” sort, Like a sea cucumber with a starfish face.

The “joke” was to make them as weird as possible cause unlike most fantasy races “trolls” really dont have a consistent definition or appearance beyond “humanoid”. I chose to make them echinoderms cause they have “rock like” skin and also Im just fond of the phylum.

Their Larvae bared no resemblance to the adults, being like troll dolls and also real life (bilaterally symmetrical) echinoderm larvae

Trolls are a pain on the internet because their language and logical thinking are very alien compared to the hominid races. It is hard to tell when someone on the internet is genuinely confused or mad about a subject, or if they are just a troll.


Hey weirdos!  For the past few months, I’ve done something unprecedented - I’ve stayed off the internet.

It was hard but I had to do because I’ve been trying to stay SPOILER FREE for the movie event of the new millennium!  This December was the revival of one of the most famous sci-fi franchises in the world.  Yep, you know what I’m talking about: DOGCOPTER.

So for three months, I sequestered myself from all internet communications.  I handed over my laptop and my phone to my little bro, Peedee, and ordered him to bury them in an undisclosed location in the deserts of New Mexico.

I think he just put them in the walk-in freezer at the fry shop.  

I won’t lie, it was hard.  But I calmed my nerves by reacquainting myself with the “Young Adult Conspiracy” section at my local library.  And instead of getting in arguments with internet trolls, I got in real life arguments!  With my dad!

And after months of avoiding and spoilers or teasers or trailers, I was in line for Dogcopter 4, and then some dummy walking out of the theater TOTALLY SPOILED EVERYTHING and was like, “I can’t believe that Dogcopter’s parents are actually cats.”  

Ug!  I hope you’ve seen the movie because that’s pretty much the big ending.  Dogcopter dies defending the planet but then he comes back to life because he’s actually part cat and cats have 9 lives.  Anyway, the movie was pretty much ruined.  So now I’m back.  Spoilers are the worst.

If Strickler and Barbara ever mend, I don’t want them to get married.

I want them to get troll-married: in the dark depths of some obscure forest, complete with a wacky assortment of folk instruments and linked-elbows dancing by the fire, wearing ostentatiously ugly garlands of plants, colorful stones, metals, socks, and random, shiny cooking utensils. They’d take a blood-vow to represent the merging of their lives, which Stricklander must assure Barbara, “is only symbolism”.

It’d be a small but uproarious occasion. Now in college, Jim and Claire would be trying to pick up the ceremonial dance. Blinky would be watching them proudly, and helping himself to the odd cuisine. Draal would be some order of drunk, singing merrily, yet terribly. Eli would be there, starry-eyed and frantically Snapchatting everything he sees, but his iPhone mysteriously can’t record anything in the bounds of the party. Toby and Darci would be sampling the troll concoctions–with hysterical results. Mary would be hanging onto some troll, with zero chance of getting lucky. Steve, now a less obnoxious young man, would leave early, terrified out of his mind.

And NotEnrique would be the spiciest dancer of them all.

What I loved about “Trolls Holiday”

Spoilers ahead so don’t read unless you’ve watched it already!

  1. New Hairs Eve
  2. Bridget’s soft “oh yaaay~”
  3. Bridget in general tbh, what an adorable baby
  4. “Grissy” and “Bridgy”
  5. Branch trying to learn how to smile;; you’re doing amazing sweetie
  6. BRANCH SINGING IN A ROBE WHILE DRINKING COFFEE I’m so glad he’s so comfortable about singing now
  7. “…and hold on to your Dinkles”
  9. Just basically every single song let’s be real
  10. Everyone turning into real life troll dolls
  11. They’re all shook for like.. 2 seconds, then they immediately go back to singing
  12. Branch is still shook af but sings along anyway
  14. “Sup.” “Sup.”
  15. Gristle in general is such a Mood in this special I love him??
  16. Mister Dinkles lights up!!
  18. Branch knowing exactly how to make Poppy realize her mistake, and thats singing to her about how great of a friend she is until she understands when too much is too much
  19. Chad and Todd tbh such gay icons
  20. Poppy and Bridget’s friendship makes Branch finally smile. Pure

What I hated about “Trolls Holiday”:

  1. Dj Suki wasn’t in it

daily reminder that saying kanaya is a lesbian is not a “headcanon” it’s actual indisputable canon. also trolls aren’t all bi/pan so stop. saying. that.