troll thor

"I'm sick of Nordic mythology"

I know the Hollywood dream machine has been chewing up Nordic mythology, folklore and culture and spat it out at you all for a while now in the form of Lord of The Rings, Frozen, Marvel Thor, and so on, but I feel like people forget not everybody on the Internet are “Americans riding the hype train” or whatever.

I get more and more people commenting and tagging my drawings with things like “I’m sick of Norse folklore tbh” and “how about some other mythologies for a change” and I don’t think these people realize that Thor, trolls and elves are part of a large group of people’s culture.

Our weekdays, towns, streets, plants and landmarks are named after our old gods and folklore creatures, they’re still mentioned in proverbs, the tune we play at weddings comes from an old play about trolls and elves, and our mythology and folklore are still a big part of our childhood in the form of stories, cartoons, games and movies. I don’t think there’s any Scandinavian kid who hasn’t been told by an adult during a thunderstorm “That’s just Thor riding his wagon across the sky”. It’s all so ingrained in us most people don’t even realize it’s there.

So I can understand if people are tired of (Americanized) Nordic culture and I don’t expect you to like it. Just please show a little respect and don’t make comments like that on Nordic people’s works.

anonymous asked:

have you seen the post where Bruce loki and thor are annoying wanda by getting her name wrong, Bruce calls he Wendy and loki calls her Wilma or sth, so she's not sure if they actually forgot or not, but then thor bursts into the room and is like "hi beth" and proceeds to laugh hystericaly, and loki says "it has to start with 'W' you oaf"

I have! And I have to say I didn’t like the end where Thor was like “I’ll understand the rules of this game and win!” Like. That makes Thor seem so stupid. I don’t believe that Thor is stupid. I’m all for Troll Thor. Or Throll lmao ah at least I make myself laugh.

Like honestly I can imagine Thor deciding he didn’t like Wanda messing with his friends’ minds (because it hits so close to home with Loki) and then hearing about the “game” they’re going to do where they never get her name right and he’s just like, “Yes. I agree.” And then he’s like “In fact I’m gonna go all in.”

So Loki, Bruce, and Tony call Wanda by literally every W name except her own and then in comes Thor who calls her Beth. Calls her Tessa. Calls her Vicky. Calls her Anne. And the others have decided he’s never going to understand but Thor can see that Wanda’s foaming at the mouth being so pissed because at least she understands what they’re doing, they’re being snide, but Thor??? Is just being stupid?????

So Wanda finally loses it with Thor, slams her hands on the table, shouts “MY NAME IS WANDA!” And Thor looks at her, eyebrows raised as she pants, watching the glowing red knives settle back onto counters and into drawers and onto the table. He looks at this child, because as old as she claims to be she has not taken responsibility for any of the bad things she did like an adult, and he leans in, looming, looking every bit the warrior he is and then some, and quietly asks, “What makes you think I didn’t know that, Rebecca?” and makes long, steady eye-contact that Wanda breaks, blushing, tears of humiliation forming in her eyes.

Deleted lines from the Thor: The Dark World script #83
  • Loki: It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just... I don't love them.
  • Odin: *(sighs)*
  • Frigga: You know we're never going to make any progress if the both of you don't start taking these sessions seriously.
  • Loki: You're right, Mother.
  • Odin: Yes, dear.
  • Loki:
  • Odin: Son - I love you. But you fucked up.
  • Loki: Yeah. But I only wanted to be like my big brother!
  • *(Both laugh and hug)*
  • :
  • *(tapping sound)*
  • Guard: Breakfast.
  • Loki: *(wakens; surveys newly-wrecked cell)*
  • Loki:
  • Loki: I'm not hungry.
  • *(slow zoom out to let feels sink in)*

“Rangle” rattles are attested to in later medieval Norwegian traditional witchcraft for use against trolls (i.e., hostile supernatural entities or malignant sorcery).  Rangles were made using several smaller iron rings attached to a larger ring, sometimes with hanging clanger or charms affixed to the smaller rings. A rangle was designed to be used as an animal husbandry tool. When tied to a long cord it was used to herd sheep and goats with noise, particularly when in steep and wild terrain. To use it one would throw it to make a loud noise near the animals when it landed so that they would move. The rangle was then retrieved by way of reeling in the cord. This is similar to the mechanism in some traditional witchcraft rituals in which a stone axe, “thunderbolt,” was thrown out and dragged back with a rope. In both cases, there appears to be symbolic associations with the returning, ‘boomerang-ing,’ nature of Thor’s Hammer Mjollnir. (Speculating still further, there may also be an association to the myth where Thor reels in Jörmungandr.)

“Goads” are staves used to herd and move animals, such as teams of oxen pulling loads or herds of animals. When a rangle was placed on the end of a goad, it became a tool used for driving wagons. Pictured above is a Norwegian example of such a tool, called a “klaprestokk.”

We should strongly consider the klaprestokk as a likely model for re-creating the staff of sorcery used by Loðmundr the Old, as well as that of Thor’s staff Gríðarvölr. If one puts two of the elements mentioned above together - goats and wagons - you have the perfect tool for guiding Thor’s chariot (actually a wagon called a “wain”). If one adds the sorcerous similarities to Thor’s hammer - sound, returning, battling trolls - the possibility is even stronger.  Further, we should consider that the other major staff of sorcery - the völva’s staff - appears to be modelled on a stylized distaff; which is also an everyday tool turned magical. In addition, the klaprestokk is of the correct size for being able to hold it in the manner noted for its’ use in the Landnámabók account, where the end was placed on the ground in water, the staff held in two hands, and a “ring” at the top placed in the mouth. This body positioning is very hard to accomplish with a short völva staff with no clear rings, a ring-topped sceptre like the Sutton Hoo example, or a simple travellers staff with a ferrule ring bound close to the wood; but it can be accomplished with a klaprestokk.

Sources:

Sibley, J.T. (2009) The Divine Thunderbolt: Missle of the Gods. USA: Xlibris Corporation.

Sibley, J.T. (2015) The Way of the Wise: Traditional Norwegian Folk and Magic Medicine. USA: Xlibris Corporation.

Shield & Hammer 2:  The Winter Soldier

1.  Bucky’s initial reaction to the news of Thor and Steve being bros was “God help us” and Natasha’s response was “I think divine providence is on their side.” 

2.  Sam was totally useless.  He just laughed.  “You boys are hopeless.” 

3.  Bucky did appreciate that Thor totally understood all their feelings about the Dodgers being traitors.  Also, he was pretty good at the bat, once he literally got the swing of things. 

4.  The following conversation happened after Bucky found Thor lifting a temporarily bitty-fied Steve up to reach for something that was too high for five foot odd adorable punks. 

“Nay, friend Barnes, though our Captain is most attractive whether he is small or large, I have no designs upon him.  I regard him as a brother.”

“…”

“Your growling amuses me mightily.  Why do you not tell him that you love him deeply?  Have you forgotten the ways of courting and wooing?”

Growling stopped in its tracks, followed by a bewildered whine.  “What?”

“My friend!  I am most churlish!  Of course you must have forgotten the fine art of courting after all your suffering.  Fear not!  I shall help you regain your skills once again.  Our Captain has regaled me with the tales of your exploits with women!”

“Wait a second.  THOR!”

5.  Steve had serious gigglefits once subjected to the “courting and wooing” by one James Buchanan Barnes, guided by a mighty Prince of Asgard.

A giggling Steve was an invitation for kisses and thus, there were plenty of kisses exchanged and also long overdue confessions were made.

Bless Thor. 

6.  Steve and Bucky’s chance-found baby girls - Kitty and Sophie - were going to grow up with tales of brave and courageous women - whether from Asgard or Midgard.   Their godfather Thor was a fine storyteller, though he ended up memorizing some stories from Steve regarding the remarkable Sarah Rogers. 

7.  It was totally Thor’s idea to run off with the basic plot of How to Train Your Dragon, claim that Steve was his descendant because he once had a relationship with the daughter of Hiccup and Astrid and that Bucky was really the human descendant of a magical transforming Toothless.  

“THOR FOR FUCK’S SAKE THE DRACULA THING IS A FUCKING METAPHOR.”

“Are you sure about that, Buck?”

“Don’t encourage him, ya punk!”

8.  And then Thor met Bucky’s Grampy.  ‘Nuff said.

9.  Wait, Thor, what do you mean when you say Legolas and Gimli are your great-great-grandfathers?!

10.  The wedding of Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes was a solemn, wonderful occasion, even if Tony had threatened to have Star Spangled Man With a Plan playing while they walked down the aisle.   Thor was there to bless them both and while their babies giggled in their arms, Bucky was content to steal as many kisses as he wanted from his husband and children.  (Steve was doing a fairish bit of kiss-stealing himself.) Things were going to be all right. 

Note:  Bonus Gigolas.  Sorry not sorry. :P

Skywalkers - More Cousins ‘Verse Headcanon

It should come as no surprise that Star Wars was on Steve and Thor’s Lists.  So okay, Steve’s List had “Things I Missed Out While Being Frozen for 70 years” as the title and Thor’s List was “Things About Midgard That Are Interesting And/Or Important to Learn” but there’s a lot of overlap in those lists. 

Thor had a field day when he casually remarked that “Oh, the legends of the Wars of the Stars have reached Midgard!  This is delightful!”

And of course, it helped when Bucky buried his face in his hands and said, “The weirdest thing that ever happened to me in the war was that I had a buncha alien teddy bears calling me Mama.

Steve did his best to console Bucky.  “I think to them, I was Papa so I guess we had the babies we always wanted, even though they were in a different package?  They really loved Corporal Bucky Bear!”

Yes, Tony, Ewoks are real.  SHIELD has records and there is one specific picture of a tiny Ewok cuddling next to Bucky himself. 

We’re not quite sure if Steve, Thor and Bucky are trolling you.  We’d say Thor help you but then, Thor’s too busy enjoying himself right now.

Now certain people named Tony and Clint would like to pretend that the Star Wars prequels don’t exist and Tony has plans on going on the Colbert Report to loudly disagree with Mr. Colbert’s attempt to explain that stupid crossguard lightsaber that’s going to appear in the next new Star Wars movie.   However, Sane People named Bruce and Rhodey have saved the day by introducing the correct Star Wars formula, which is to watch in the following order - Episode IV, Episode V, Episode I, Episode II, Episode III and Episode VI.

Sam was going to object to Episode I but shushed when Natasha admitted she liked Amidala’s elaborate costumes and wasn’t going to object to seeing them again.

It should come as no surprise to the Gentle Reader that Thor absolutely crushed on Queen Padme Amidala.  He observed, quite loudly, that while the Prequels had many inaccuracies concerning the great legend of the “Star Wars,” he was quite incensed at the “churlish treatment” of her by Anakin Skywalker. 

“This is like Steve with his weird crush on that Sebastian guy,” Bucky murmured into Jane’s ear, while she gave in to the pregnancy cravings and munched on crackers slathered with her favorite tomato herb and garlic dip.  “I don’t get it, but it seems to be harmless and he apparently thinks I look like that guy so, fine.  Whatever.  You’re still prettier than Amidala.”

“That’s a married lady you’re sweet-talking to, Buck,” Steve said with amusement.

“Ain’t nothing wrong with talking and a harmless bit o’ flirt, so long’s as it’s clear to everyone we’re just playin’.  'Sides, I was only telling her the truth!”

“You are keeping him, right, Steve?” Jane inquired sweetly. 

“Do you honestly thing I’m dumb enough to let this idiot get away?  That’s why I said yes when he put the ring on my finger!”

“So if this Sebastian Stan fella comes up to sweet talk you, you’re gonna tell him to take a hike, right, baby?”

Steve, the little shit, pretended to think about it.  “Only on Thursdays.  I’ll be Sebastian’s on Thursdays.”

“That Evans guy can have me on Wednesdays, then.”

“See, that’s how you negotiate a relationship like sane, responsible adults,” Darcy beamed.  “Can I get Steve on Tuesdays?”

“My Tuesdays are all booked up with this mook over here, Darcy,” Steve said sweetly, delivering a couple of kisses to a Certain Somebody pouting at him. 

So it wasn’t a surprise that the names Luke and Leia came up as possible baby names for Jane’s forthcoming twins.  Thor proposed it.  Darcy pointed out that as long as no accidental incest kisses happened, it should be okay, since Thor wasn’t showing any signs of going Dark Side on all of them and start breathing with a distinctive wheeze.  

And Jane….

Well.

When she eventually gave birth to her babies and held them in her arms, Luke and Leia did fit them perfectly.  Luke was blonde and Leia was a brunette too.  

And shortly after that, Heimdall assisted Thor in bringing the Ewoks to Tony’s tower, because they had missed their Mama Bucky and Papa Steve.

- end -

Note:  If you guys are new to the party and would like to know about the Ewok Incident, here are the stories:

#51. Nobody is Allowed to Discuss the Alien Teddy Bear Incident. Ever.

See Rule #51 GODDAMMIT

Once the Avengers settle down into a routine, Tony Stark is actually the most responsible. Natasha’s always winding the guys up, Steve’s a giant troll, Thor causes all sorts of electric shocks and might or might not have introduced Steve to Asgarian alcohol, Clint spends far too much time climbing future to be an adult, and Tony constantly has to remind Bruce last time he did an experiment Hulk turned up and explosions are dangerous and Bruce you really shouldn’t do that that’s a really bad idea