troll shirt

Hella Rad Homestuck Troll Shirt Tutorial!!

Hey nooksuckers,

So after reading some of the other tutorials out there, I realised something; who the fuck actually has the time and money to go and buy all those goddamn materials and fancy shit?

So, here’s how I make my troll shirts; professional quality (seriously everyone thinks I get this shit off WhatPumpkin), quick, easy, and with actual stuff you are likely to have in your house. 

Without futher ado, heres the scope:


(Some of the materials not displayed because I’m a weenie)

-Flat board of some kind: lid, cardboard, chopping board, you could use a live animal I don’t give a fuck whatever bro

-Cling wrap: This shit is important if you don’t want to look like a dweeb at the con

-A sheet of a4 paper with your chosen symbol printed on: To get it the right size, look at reference pictures and hold a piece of paper up to your body and draw in a mirror what you think is right. Then, print the symbol at the preferred size. Doesn’t take a genius.

-Sponge: You can use a dabby art sponge as shown, or a shitty-ass dishwashing sponge. ((IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE THE ONE YOU ACTUALLY USE THE CLEAN YOUR DISHES!! SOME OF THE PAINTS MAY BE TOXIC AND ALSO IT WILL LOOK LIKE YOU’RE WASHING THE DISHES IN TROLL BLOOD. It also waters down the paint and makes it smell like a wet dog. Don’t do it bro. )) Make sure it is fairly dense, however, with no big holes or anything.

-Small knife: Not sharp! Any thin-bladed knife will do, this ain’t murder

-Masking tape (although weak sticky tape should be fine)

-Glue stick (like that really weak-ass primary school shit is fine)

-Paint: Some art stores will display lil bottles of ‘fabric paint’. This is bullshit.

This is the stuff I used, it comes in all the right colours and is dirt cheap, like you can get a whole tube for $4 easily. As long as it says that it works on fabric, it’s fabric paint son and everyone else can go home.

-Shirt: Make sure it is the right style for your character! However, be aware the thinner fabrics are inadvisable; originally, this Meenah shirt was going to be a midriff top, but the material was too thin. Use some cotton, like those cheap $5 shirts at Target/Big W or whatever y'all have in America or whereever. Also, if you are a person with breasts, take the placement of the symbol into consideration, as it may appear different once you wear it. 

-Black permanent marker: If you do this well, you won’t need this.

-A good attitude and a variety of healthy snacks.

First things first, iron that shirt. You don’t have to do the whole thing, just make sure the place where the symbol is going is flat. Idiot.

Next, wrap cling wrap around that board. You go son.

Now put that board inside that crispy-ass shirt you just ironed, under where the symbol is going to be. Place the symbol on top of where you want it to go and scope the scene; is it in the right place?

Obviously. Now, you gotta make a stencil for your sweet arts to happen in!As above, use scissors to cut out that shape. If you’re a lucky mofo, you’ll have a sharp knife and a cutting board, but I don’t, so get off your high horse son and sit at the kiddie table with the rest of us.

Now, tape that stencil to the shirt with the masking tape. Make sure that the fabric is flat and so is the paper, and the area is completely over the board you put inside the shirt. Otherwise, you are stupid.

Now, because you were a good lil girl or boy or whatever, you sat at the kiddie table and used scissors. However, sometimes scissors overcut when doing fine corners, so here is your opportunity to fix your errors with tape.

If you are doing a symbol with holes in it i.e. Karkat, this is where the glue stick comes in. Use that sweet goop to stick down the circles or whatever so they stay in place when you paint. You can also use this stuff to glue down any annoying corners before you start painting. However, do not spread it on too thick! Pulling it off may crack or warp the design. 

Now then, spread some of the paint onto a plate or something, and collect a fairly thin layer on your sponge. At this stage, do not put too much on!!

Cover the whole design, not pushing too hard (otherwise it will bleed under the stencil). By the end, it’ll look something like this:

Looks real thin doesn’t it? Well sit the fuck down, it’s only thin because this is the first coat.

While you wait for this coat to dry, eat a healthy snack.

Hell yes. A funky orange. Or whatever that is. I don’t know. Could be a mandarin.

Anyway, now that coat’s done, do a second coat! You can go a little thicker, but still be careful with how much paint you put on. And, yes the smily face is compulsory.

Now, you need to wait for this coat to dry.


Now then. 

Two coats is the minimum amount for a troll shirt, and 8 is the maximum. Remember that the more coat your use, the better the colour and texture, but the more brittle the design i.e. that shits gonna crack like crazy and maybe even peel. 

I normally recommend four coats, however depending on the cosplay and the fabric type, you will have to decide for yourself. The thinner the fabric, the less coats you’ll need.

Once you are satisfied with your layering, use the thin knife to cut through any paint or glue sticking the shirt to the stencil, and slowly prise the stencil away.

Trying not to pull the fabric too much, remove the stencil altogether.

If there are parts of your result that are not thick enough, simply re-tape them and paint them again. If there are any places where the paint has bled under the stencil, use a black permanent marker to neaten it up; trust me, you can’t see it, so don’t fret.

From here, simply keep adding more paint as above, refining the edges with your marker, and using your knife to remove excess paper.

Now, wait for the paint to fully dry. Then, carefully remove the board from the shirt and dispose of the cling wrap.

For the best results, do not wash before use! The pattern is likely to crack in the wash, however after a quick iron the cracks are barely noticeable. When ironing, always place a sheet of paper over the design to prevent it from burning.

Congratulations! You have successfully made a troll shirt! Now go and explore your respiteblock in style. Bitch.

Please message me with any concerns! I actually worked this tutorial out of my own when I was bored, so if this get’s enough notes I’ll show y'all how to do horns!

MBTI Types As Happy Things I Saw

INFP: A book full of writing prompts.

ENFP: Sprinkles of cupcake confetti shaped as smiley faces.

ISFP: Colorful origami paper with little silver speckles.

ESFP: A drawing of a smiling kid in the newspapers.

INTP: A bottle full of paper stars.

ENTP: A cute sponge with a smile on top tag seems to be half-adorable and half-trolling.

ISTP: T-shirts with cartoon pandas on them.

ESTP: A giant whirling fan in the middle of a hot summer day.

INFJ: A paper heart.

ENFJ: A little note with a heart drawn next to the message.

ISFJ: A pot of blooming succulents next to a base of blooming orchids.

ESFJ: A mother holding hand with her child.

INTJ: A bag of glow-in-the-dark star stickers.

ENTJ: The intricate designs on the sides of a lantern.

ISTJ: Giant 5'3" teddy bear that is warm but does not move.

ESTJ: A little boy falling off a bike but getting back on.

NOT A SPOILER… That I know of hehe, this is a scene we all wouldn’t mind seeing in chapter 18 of @tisbubb ’s “A little change” fanfic. Sorry to disrespect the cowbell by getting more Creek all over it. I figured we’d need something like this after whatever inevitable angst-filled trollercoaster bubb’s gonna send us on with chapter 18. Poppy is oddly unintentionally tall in this, perhaps she’s standing on that bench that’s located conveniently next to the bridge.

Fun fact: My 2 and ½ year old was watching me color this and she goes “Ooo Poppy and Branch… Is that Creek?” Utterly shocked that she guessed right I go “Uh yes, yes it is”.

Then she says “Oh no Poppy’s hurt.”
Me: “Yep Poppy falls down alot.”


I now have a TeePublic store, so naturally I had to make a really silly commercial.

Ta daaa!

A couple of ya buds wanted to see the BATIM shirt I got yesterday, so here it is. Sorry for the blurriness, it’s just my phone being a troll.

But getting that shirt was the highlight of my day, yesterday.

*Build Our Machine intensifies*

Me: I’m not “obsessed” with Trolls, alright? I’m just–

Friend: *peels back curtain to reveal Guy Diamond Plushie*

Me: what?! No–that’s not mine

Friend: *slides open closet to reveal Troll themed shirts*

Me: I don’t know how those got there, its–

Friend: *Aggressively scrolls through my browser history, which consists of thousands of fanart and fanfiction*

completely revitalized. my crops are thriving

@optimisticduelist suggested the other day that the consort kingdom, if it’s largely island based or coastal, may have even started on jake’s island, which is not only great because jake will get to have his jungle orb back (MY BOY) but also because the ruins of the tower are there and he and dirk can rebuild them to be their secret lab/adventure center/junk collection zone. 

like, remember how much miscellaneous shit jake gathered over the years in the b1 universe, as grandpa? all those knights and mummies and blue girls and game trophies, and that was only 3 floors of the thing when that tower was probably at least 30. grandpa had completely stuffed that house to the brim of little knick-knacks and eccentric collections and stuff acquired from his adventures, and now he and dirk get to do it together. they get to rule over the consort kingdom, explore the new world, and take the relics of their adventures and stash them away somewhere to remind them of the places they’ve been and the things they’ve seen. they probably visit the other kids every so often and acquire shit from those kingdoms, too. they have framed troll sign shirts hanging on one floor (designed thoughtfully by kanaya) and some carapacian crowns (carapaces never forget their princes) and dirk personally has 5 floors or so of just miscellaneous human shit because he’s so enthralled with human society’s trinkets as it’s actually developing and changing with, you know, alive people. they also, of course, have a lot of floors for the stuff the consorts bring them (or at least, what’s brought to them that’s preservable, and not just a plate full of wiggling insects). 

jake calls it their paraphernalia collection. dirk calls it “all our fucking shit.” it is both of theirs and they treasure it. 

purrpl-x-deactivated20170911  asked:

Okay, regarding the encounter Jesus domo troll looking thing shirt. I was part of a g12 church (the mercy church in SLO) which is like an actual pyramid scheme cult church thing. It was wild. I've gone to encounter weekend twice. It was W I L D. People having "visions" and "faith healings" and stuff. People were coerced into giving money into the church and they won't let you date outside of the church. Look up g 12 encounter weekend. they have their own subreddit that's how u know they a cult.

Holy shit.