au where the trojan war is a party menelaus throws to win back his girlfriend who left him for some douchebag and he ropes all his friends into helping him and wacky shenanigans happen and a running gag is that odysseus doesn’t even want to be there he’s got shit to do and at the end he gets stuck in traffic on the way home

patrochilles high school au headcanons because who doesnt want these in their lives (✿◠‿◠)
  • achilles was the super hot popular track star and patroclus was the shy cutie who was always in the stands to cheer on his bf
  • and when achilles would win a race (aka every day) he’d run over to where patroclus was sitting and kiss him in front of everyone
  • briseis was patroclus and achilles’ third member of their little circle and basically they always hung out and patroclus would braid little flowers into hers and achilles’ hair and akjsgfasjf
  • and agamemnon was the douchey jock that was rude to everyone and made immature jokes so him and achilles kind of always had a rivalry
  • agamemnon would ask achilles to do his homework and when achilles refused agamemnon would make him “pay” by filling his or briseis’ or patroclus’ locker with soda balloons and peanut butter and ugh no one likes agamemnon ok
  • THETIS IS ACHILLES’ SUPER OVERPROTECTIVE (AND SLIGHTLY HOMOPHOBIC) MOTHER AND SHE HATES PATROCLUS SO WHEN ACHILLES WANTS TO HAVE HIM OVER THEY GO TO HIS DAD’S HOUSE INSTEAD AND PELEUS IS SUPER COOL WITH IT HE EVEN ASKS IF THEY WANT CONDOMS
  • one day (well, multiple days) achilles makes patroclus wear these shirts that odysseus made for them as a joke. achilles’ says “im aristos achaion” and patroclus’ says “im with aristos achaion”
  • also, briseis has one that she very reluctantly wears, and it says “im with these losers”
  • agamemnon is the quarterback of the football team and one day they play against a team where the quarterback is hector and hector accidentally throws the ball and it hits patroclus’ face while hes sitting in the stands. achilles gets SO mad and runs onto the field at halftime (“Achilles, sit down, it didn’t even hurt.” “I MUST AVENGE YOU PATROCLUS!”) and tackles hector
  • odysseus is that kid thats super nice to everyone and kind of the class clown but he also has like, all the goods. a pack of gum? odysseus has it. pencils? sure. spiked punch at prom? yes
  • achilles is super affectionate in school like if he sees patroclus in the hallway he’ll shout, “everyone look, its my BOYFRIEND” and patroclus loves it but he gets so embarrassed he’s like achilles stop 
  • patroclus. wearing. a beanie.
  • ACHILLES ALWAYS BRINGS FIG NEWTONS FOR LUNCH
  • when they get detention together the teacher makes them sit on opposite sides of the room but achilles makes little paper planes with notes in them and frickin whips them toward patroclus when shes not looking
  • MAKING OUT BY LOCKERS. SO MUCH. EVERY DAY. ALWAYS.
  • basically tsoa high school au would be amazing and everyone is happy and cute and no one dies yay okay
2

History Meme: 1/1 War

  • The Trojan War

In Greek mythology, the Trojan War was waged against the city of Troy by the Achaeans (Greeks) after Paris of Troy took Helen from her husband Menelaus king of Sparta. The war is one of the most important events in Greek mythology and has been narrated through many works of Greek literature, most notably through Homer’s Iliad and the Odyssey. The Iliad relates a part of the last year of the siege of Troy; the Odyssey describes Odysseus’s journey home. Other parts of the war are described in a cycle of epic poems, which have survived through fragments. Episodes from the war provided material for Greek tragedy and other works of Greek literature, and for Roman poets including Virgil and Ovid.

The war originated from a quarrel between the goddesses Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, after Eris, the goddess of strife and discord, gave them a golden apple, sometimes known as the Apple of Discord, marked “for the fairest”. Zeus sent the goddesses to Paris, who judged that Aphrodite, as the “fairest”, should receive the apple. In exchange, Aphrodite made Helen, the most beautiful of all women and wife of Menelaus, fall in love with Paris, who took her to Troy. Agamemnon, king of Mycenae and the brother of Helen’s husband Menelaus, led an expedition of Achaean troops to Troy and besieged the city for ten years because of Paris’ insult. After the deaths of many heroes, including the Achaeans Achilles and Ajax, and the Trojans Hector and Paris, the city fell to the ruse of the Trojan Horse. The Achaeans slaughtered the Trojans (except for some of the women and children whom they kept or sold as slaves) and desecrated the temples, thus earning the gods’ wrath. Few of the Achaeans returned safely to their homes and many founded colonies in distant shores. The Romans later traced their origin to Aeneas, one of the Trojans, who was said to have led the surviving Trojans to modern-day Italy.

The ancient Greeks thought that the Trojan War was a historical event that had taken place in the 13th or 12th century BC, and believed that Troy was located in modern-day Turkey near the Dardanelles. By modern times, both the war and the city were widely believed to be non-historical. In 1868, however, the German archaeologist Heinrich Schliemann met Frank Calvert, who convinced Schliemann that Troy was at Hissarlik and Schliemann took over Calvert’s excavations on property belonging to Calvert; this claim is now accepted by most scholars. Whether there is any historical reality behind the Trojan War is an open question. Many scholars believe that there is a historical core to the tale, though this may simply mean that the Homeric stories are a fusion of various tales of sieges and expeditions by Mycenaean Greeks during the Bronze Age. Those who believe that the stories of the Trojan War are derived from a specific historical conflict usually date it to the 12th or 11th centuries BC, often preferring the dates given by Eratosthenes, 1194–1184 BC, which roughly corresponds with archaeological evidence of a catastrophic burning of Troy VIIa.

2

Achilles Drags Hector:  Black-Figure Hydria C. 510 BC

Greek vase-painters often used subjects from Homer’s great epics the Iliad and the Odyssey in their work. On this hydria - a vessel with three handles for carrying water - the Attic painter depicted a scene from the Trojan war in which Achilles ties the body of the Trojan hero Hector, killed by him, to a chariot. He goes on to mock his enemy’s body publicly by dragging it along the ground before the very walls of Troy.

Attributed to the Antiopa Painter, Leagros group, Attica.