trois becs

After still failing level 6 heli assaults in my 2nd run, I’m temporarily saying goodbye to 100% completion with my fem!boss. Here’s a compilation of the boss, Johnny and Troy’s comments regarding the boss’ messed up driving (that happened in my game) that synced to produce hilarious banter. Getting these out before making a dude!boss:

~The Boss’ Awful Driving Shenanigans~
*drive recklessly (bouncing up the humps)*
Johnny: Yeah~ I love going out for a drive.
Troy: Can’t we ever get someplace in one piece?
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Please, what did you expect?
Johnny: I missed this in jail.

*run over a person*
Johnny: Ooh! Ouch…got him.
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Didn’t think I had the balls?
Johnny: Yo, let’s back up and hit ‘em again! Hehehe.
Troy: Running people over should be a misdemeanor in Stilwater.

*run over jaywalkers*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Are you crazy or just stupid?
Troy: Don’t worry. It wasn’t your fault.
Johnny: You can do better than that.

*run over jaywalkers*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Quit fucking with me!
Johnny: People just have to stop jumping in the way!
Troy: Hahaha~

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) This just keeps getting better.
Johnny: Yo, you think they saw our faces?
Troy: FUCK! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) I could do this all day.
Johnny: They hate it when you do that.
Troy: I can’t be seen here! Go! Go!

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) We’re cleaning up this city!
Johnny: Ahhh, this is the fucking life.
Troy: Ahhh, this takes me back.

*run over cops*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) I’d start running if I were you.
Johnny: Run 'em off the road!
Troy: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.

*run over people then hit a lightpost*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Too easy!
Johnny: I dunno whose fault that was.
Troy: Don’t worry. It wasn’t your fault.

*run over people then hit a wall*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) It’s always something.
Troy: You never could drive.
Johnny: I think that coma did some permanent damage.

*run over people…and hit other stuff*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) You like how I did that?
Johnny: You’re fucking crazy! I love it~
Troy: Ahhh, some things never change.

*run over people…and hit other stuff*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Let’s have some fun!
Troy: Trying to get me killed?
Johnny: You’re gonna get us both killed!
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) *cackles*

*hit parked cars*
Troy: Try to be more careful.
Boss Alexa:  (female voice 1) I was waiting for a fight.
Johnny: Yo man, I’m not paying for that.

*hit parked cars*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Damn, that felt good!
Johnny: I’m not saying anything.
Troy: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.

*hit a moving car while peppering a target car with bullets*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Let’s get to work.
Troy: Police business! Outta the way!
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Kill everyone!
Johnny: I like the way you work.

*a car repeatedly hits the boss’ car instead*
Johnny: Thanks a lot, asshole.
Troy: Watch where you’re driving.
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Someone’s waiting to get shot.
Johnny: Ooh! Ooh! Want me to shoot him?

(my personal fave)
*run over people*
Boss Alexa: (female voice 1) Don’t worry, it happens to everyone.
Johnny: BOUNCE, MOTHERFUCKER!
Troy: You gotta be kidding me.