I’m afraid that, due to Eye Protocol 55B, I was forced to incinerate the culinary dessert product you deemed to send me. There is no being too cautious when you are an agent of the Arcane Eye.
As for your accusations of my acting out certain scenes of… unmentionable novels… I think you are rather confused. Doing so would be highly indecorous and unsuitable for someone of my rank.
Perhaps you are confusing me with one of my less esteemed colleagues…?”