trivializing

anonymous asked:

Are there any characters/plot lines in KH that really speak to you personally or just think are good lessons altogether?

I like Riku.

I know I’ve spoken about this once before, but I have a thing called borderline personality disorder, a mental illness characterized partly by this very specific brand of black-and-white thinking where you kind of idolize people in your life. You know, they’re perfect. They’re amazing. They’re wonderful. The sun rises and sets by them. They’re all that matters, and you know the universe is good and kind and full of grace because they’re in it, and every second of attention they give you is more of a blessing than you could possibly hope to articulate. Until they do something that triggers the other half of your black-and-white thinking, something that causes your brain to “split” on them.

And it could be something totally innocent, totally trivial, totally meaningless in the long run. As a matter of fact, it usually is. But your brain just flips a switch, and, all of a sudden, you hate them, and they’re terrible, and they were only ever pretending to like you, weren’t they? They’ve betrayed you. They’ve abandoned you. They’ve replaced you. They want you to die, don’t they?

It’s about this extreme fear of abandonment. If you have any internal sense of self at all, it’s broken and fragmented, and your emotions are intense but also impermanent, so you can flip from one extreme to another very, very quickly, which can make your relationships very unstable. It’s also very strongly associated with binging, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, etc.

And that’s what I think of when I think of Riku and his relationships with Kairi and Sora.

There was a time when I actually thought Riku was kind of poorly written because, in Kingdom Hearts 1, he turns on Sora so quickly, seemingly for almost no logical or rational reason, convincing himself that Sora’s totally abandoned him over the course of less than one full scene.

But now I kind of appreciate that. I relate.

I also relate to his journey in Chain of Memories. That sense of “I’ve made so many mistakes, and I’ve done so many things wrong, and I don’t know if I can ever truly stop being that terrible fucking person I used to be.”

Over the course of the game, Riku learns these lessons about embracing his own darkness – looking it in the eye, frankly and honestly, and working with it instead of running from it, and, to me, that kind of reads like a parallel to the journey to understand the symptoms of your own chronic illness. You can’t necessarily stop them or fully control them, but you can be aware of them, anticipate them, compensate for them, understand why they’re happening, catch yourself doing or feeling or saying certain things, and head them off before they go too far. You can develop coping techniques when you understand exactly what you’re coping with.

And then, even after realizing that, even after learning those lessons, Riku backslides. Because life isn’t just one linear progression from problem to solution. You never just fix something once. Chronic issues are chronic.

And I like that.

I like that we have someone who struggles with the same intrusive thoughts over and over. Someone whose insecurities come back. And sometimes he handles them better than he did before, but sometimes he doesn’t.

I like that.

I like that he goes through these long periods of extreme depression but that he always comes back around. I like that even when he’s at his lowest, he’s loved by his friends.

I like that, even with that being the case, his friends still call him on his shit when it’s called for.

I like that he spent so long not even being able to look at himself. I like the little touch of him reinventing himself with a haircut when he starts feeling better.

I like a lot about Riku.

This is already a really long post, so I won’t ramble on much more, but let me also just say, really quickly, that I also love Roxas, Xion, and Namine for reasons sort of generally along the same lines.

- Mod A.

_____________

Seconding most of that. My experience isn’t exactly the same, but I can relate. 

I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health for as long as I can remember. At least ten years if I had to estimate. I’m not sure if I have BPD, as I’m not entirely clear on what the symptoms are, but I sure as hell project my shitty self-esteem onto others.

One thing I’ve learned is that progress isn’t linear. You’ll trip. You’ll fall. You’ll scream and cry. You’ll question whether you even deserve to be happy. Why should you even hang out with those guys? They don’t really like you. You’re inferior. My mind constantly rushes back and forth on things like that.

And that’s why, for the longest time, I’ve always really liked Riku. He made mistakes. He’s hard on himself. He ends up isolating himself out of guilt. It’s hard to feel better about yourself when you’re constantly told that you suck. He comes to accept himself for what he is. And that’s a lesson that can apply to a lot of people. Maybe you don’t identify with your biological sex. Maybe you don’t like the opposite sex like you’re “supposed to”. It’s a good lesson.

It’s not enough though. You can accept yourself and make progress but still have troubles and slip back into old habits. People tend to generalize and assume that once recovery starts it should be smooth sailing. It’s not. Riku’s time in Days is a pretty good example of that. 

In some ways I’m better than I used to be, and there’s a lot of reasons for that, but it’s also worse in many regards.

Also, in-general, I like what the writers were going for with Terra and Eraqus’ relationship. It just wasn’t executed particularly well. The parallel between Terra/Eraqus and Riku/Ansem is so so so so important.

- Mod S.

————————————————————————————

> I’m not sure if I have BPD, as I’m not entirely clear on what the symptoms are 

Meet me at the place. I’ll hook you up with some diagnostic materials.

- Mod A.

anonymous asked:

scars are braille messages the past sends to present and future versions of us, don't be embarrassed about them cause they allowed you to get to here

I get that you’re trying to make me feel better but the only thing you’re doing is trying to romanticize self harm. And that only trivializes it. Self harming didn’t ‘allow’ me to get to where I am now, it delayed the journey of processing, accepting, and working through the issues behind it, and worsened my depression and other mental health issues. Self harming denied and still denies me, even though I’m nine months clean, the ability to live my life to the fullest. I’d give anything to get those years back.

Literally nothing good comes from this type of message. From the bottom of my heart: fuck off

why is it that as soon as someone says “according to the definition of what oppression actually is, this is not oppression but a form of discrimination that is still incredibly harmful” people come back with “UM ARE YOU SAYING WE HAVE PERFECT LIVES???”

your negative experiences don’t need to be called “oppression” to be taken seriously or considered valid. stop using that word to mean “really shitty and harmful things happen to x group” if those shitty and harmful things are not a widespread system of power backed by government influence and legislation, because that’s what oppression is by definition.

saying “this isn’t oppression” doesn’t mean “you don’t have problems” and it doesn’t mean those problems can’t have just as much of a negative effect on people! but it’s inaccurate and causes confusion and can trivialize the experiences of people who DO face legitimate oppression.

oppression is not something and individual does. you can’t say “i’ve never oppressed x group” because if you’re not a part of x group, you DO oppress them. any person not part of the oppressed group inherently benefits from that oppression, perpetuates that oppression (even if unknowingly, as it is deeply ingrained within society), and therefore is an oppressor.

to sum up: oppression is a system of power that is backed by government influence and can be seen in things like legislation (or lack thereof). examples: racism, homophobia, transphobia

discrimination is always present where there is oppression. HOWEVER, discrimination does not = oppression, and can exist even without widespread systems of power supporting it. example: aphobia

sometimes groups can experience oppression of one type and discrimination of another type for the same thing. example: biphobia (bi people are oppressed by homophobia and also suffer from biphobic discrimination)

please learn the difference between oppression and discrimination, otherwise we’re going to keep having the same damn conversations over and over and over

-s

anonymous asked:

(I'm on mobile and can't see the rules so I'm sorry if I violate any of them!!!!) In your opinion, how do you think the Sand Sibs+Shikamaru+Kiba would feel about having an s/o who was significantly smarter than them (or at least as smart as them in Shikamaru's case...)? Would they be angry? Good sports about it? Not care either way?

Gaara:

Gaara is a pretty smart guy himself, so to have a significant other who is smarter than him would be surprising. However, he would definitely appreciate the sophisticated conversation, and would be glad they could talk about more intelligent things rather than more trivial things.

Kankuro:

Intellect doesn’t play too big of a part in a relationship with Kankuro, so as long as you don’t talk too much about things that confuse him, he wouldn’t mind that you’re smarter than him.

Temari:

Temari likes to be challenged in a relationship, so she would prefer somebody who matched her intelligence. If they were smarter than her, however, she may end up getting frustrated from time to time, but she would definitely prefer somebody who was smarter than her to somebody who wasn’t.

Shikamaru:

Intelligence is something Shikamaru looks for in a partner. He needs somebody who he can have the occasional insightful conversation with, as well as somebody to play shogi with.

Kiba:

As long as you don’t purposely make him feel like an idiot, Kiba would be fine with a partner who is smarter than them.

-Admin Will

kllamas  asked:

If u were dating Audrey Jensen in real life how would it relationship is be? (Audrey it just ur favorite character on scream)

I’m in love with romance movies/novels, I love writing romance and it’s something I think about so much but when it comes to myself… I’m not a romantic person? So this is going to sound so lame but to me this is literally the dream for me so forgive…;

  • Movie marathons; I love having people lie across me and talk through the entire movie with me. Just about stupid stuff, like yelling at the tv during horror movies. 
  • Audrey and I would have the same movie taste, hush don’t argue
  • Going out for dinner once and a while, just talking about trivial things over food in a different setting 
  • Lying in bed for a few hours sometimes. I just like to lie in bed but it’s nice to have someone hold you as well. I would like to do this a lot tbh
  • Showing each other music; Audrey would listen to everything without complaining probably, I’d complain if she had bad music taste though. 
  • The things I’d do for love…
  • Walking around book stores, letting Audrey know every single book I’ve read in the entire store 
  • Board games & cards because I feel like Audrey would be so aggressive playing games? And I am very aggressive about winning so… 
  • Going for walks and holding hands. I love going for walks, and um I want to hold Audrey’s hand?

The irony is I do these things with my friends and they are all very casual things, but I feel like that’s all I really want with someone just with the addition of loving them. It’s cute to think of doing these things with Audrey too:)

Also can I just say how much it pisses me off when people say things like “everyone has a rough time in middle school” or shit like that when you talk about diagnoses. Like even my therapist, when I mentioned I believe I’m on the spectrum was like “well, you understand people though” and I was like “ummm not really though? A lot of it is learned?” And she was like “well, like even I don’t understand people”


Like fuck off honestly ??? Don’t trivialize other people’s mental health issues???? Having a bad time in middle school is not the same as having lasting anxiety and self esteem issues and trauma and guilt and feelings of worthlessness that still affect you and your interpersonal relationships as a 20-year-old.

Go away

Over the last year there has been a recurrent refrain about the seeming bromance between Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin. More seriously, but relatedly, many believe Trump is an admirer and would-be emulator of Putin’s increasingly autocratic and illiberal rule. But there’s quite a bit more to the story. At a minimum, Trump appears to have a deep financial dependence on Russian money from persons close to Putin. And this is matched to a conspicuous solicitousness to Russian foreign policy interests where they come into conflict with US policies which go back decades through administrations of both parties. There is also something between a non-trivial and a substantial amount of evidence suggesting Putin-backed financial support for Trump or a non-tacit alliance between the two men.
— 

Josh Marshall, “Trump & Putin. Yes, It’s Really a Thing,” TPM, July 23, 2016

This is so remarkably poised on the boundary of chillingly plausible and absurdly conspiratorial as to be surreal.

anonymous asked:

It INFURIATES me to see how antis trivialize such as serious issue as pedophilia for their self righteous crusade. No people. Two teens having sex is not pedophilia. A young adult and a teen isn't pedophilia either (hephebophilia may be the best word), and certainly TWO ADULTS isn't pedophilia, for goodness' sake! Sorry, but the way they randomly throw the word to accuse shippers makes me SICK, because they're using a REALLY SERIOUS matter to justify their stupid ship wars!

It infuriates me so so much. I have no more chill with these people. They trivialize and simplify abuse, acting as if abusive relationships are easy to spot and avoid (no no they’re not)  And the total lack of self-reflection and arrogance, pretending their real goals aren’t obvious when they post stuff like “Why ship something gross and abusive/pedophilia like *ship they hate* when you ship something good and pure like “ship they like*”

Yeah buddy you’re really doing this “for the children” Just keep telling yourself that. Just don’t expect anyone else to buy that load of crap you’re selling.

“Se você não sentir vontade de conversar, não converse – não diga uma única palavra que não esteja vindo espontaneamente de você. Não se preocupe se as pessoas acharem que você está ficando maluco.
Aceite isso. Se elas acharem que você ficou mudo, aceite isso e desfrute sua mudez!
O problema real é com as pessoas que falam continuamente e não sabem o que estão dizendo nem por quê. Elas continuam a falar porque não podem parar.
Mas, se você ficar um pouco consciente de toda a tolice e do problema que se passa na mente, se você ficar consciente de que existe para dizer, de que tudo parece trivial, então você hesitará.
No início parecerá que você está perdendo a capacidade de se comunicar – não é o caso.
Na verdade, as pessoas não conversam para se comunicar, mas para evitar a comunicação. Logo você será capaz de realmente se comunicar.
Espere e não force. Não se preocupe com o silêncio.
Você se preocupa, contudo, porque toda a sociedade se sustenta sobre a conversa, sobre a linguagem, e as pessoas muito eloqüentes se tornam muito poderosas na sociedade – líderes, eruditos, políticos, escritores.
Você fica com receio de estar perdendo o domínio da linguagem, mas não se preocupe.
O silêncio é o domínio da linguagem, mas não se preocupe. O silêncio é o domínio de Deus, e, quando você souber o que é o silêncio, terá algo a falar.
Quando você entrar fundo em silêncio, pela primeira vez suas palavras carregarão significado.
Então elas não serão apenas palavras vazias, mas estarão repletas de algo do além.
Elas têm uma poesia em si, uma dança; elas carregam consigo a graça que você traz em seu interior.”

- OSHO

Made with Instagram

I hate the term “cheating” in terms of relationships. It’s far, far too weak. Cheating is something done in games. On tests in school that really don’t fucking matter. Breaking a promise to someone you supposedly love and care about, betraying their trust, fucking that person up for a long time, possibly the rest of their life? That’s a whole different level, and it shouldn’t be trivialized with such a mild term.

If you love someone, don’t hurt them like that. If you don’t love them enough to stay, then leave them honestly and openly. Don’t sneak around, don’t try to have it both ways. Because the damage you’re doing is far greater than anything you might get from it.

When the portable computer is out of commission, one’s gotta do something to kill boredom when BBQing pizza (can’t leave the BBQ unless one wants charcoal pizza instead), and that is; drawing/inking for colouring on the PC it would seem! One of the things on my mind for a while now was doing an outfit redesign for Abbey (Terra’s stepsister). As much as I still like my previous redesign for her, some big technicalities slapped my brain recently making me realize one big impracticality of that cute outfit; mainly the fact that she’s supposed to be an albino (or leucistic, I’ve been on/off either choices, either way, VERY pale) and she lives in one of the sunniest and hottest places on Hoep; she’d be getting the WORST sunburns due to her own outfit’s skin exposure. Add to the fact she’s also a doctor/medic/healer, it would make even LESS sense she’d be so unwise as to be leaving her skin exposed to something as trivial yet severe as a sunburn. Hence the more hooded robe type outfit with this redesign. Also leaves room for hidden pockets for medical supplies >3>

Bad anatomy (especially giant head in relation to body mistake) aside, I think this turned out pretty good, especially for the actual design. This is the first time I’ve taken Shibi-type patterns on more fantasy-immersive clothing, so it was fun to see the general pattern rules applied to clothes I haven’t drawn before.

Those who know the “rules” of Hoepian outfits/clothes will note that the jeweled feather hairpiece is out of place, unless it’s either expensive or otherwise an expensive gift. Since Abbey’s not a big spender, I wonder which friend gifted her with that? ;P

anonymous asked:

hey sorry but could you please never use the term 'snape apologist' like ever again?? it's rly gross for a few reasons. 1. It's a really rude, condescending way to refer to fans of a certain character; i'm sure you'd hate it if people called james fans and marauderfen as 'james apologists'. 2. it's an obvious play on the phrase 'rape apologist' which would be disgusting to trivialize in any situation but you're... literally applying it to a character who was sexually assaulted so ://

1. I don’t call all Snape fans apologists. I say that SOME Snape fans are Snape apologists. That’s different. And some James fans do go too far in trying to defend him, I have no problem saying that.

2. That’s a meme circulating the Snape fandom and it needs to be dispelled with. Do you really think that “rape apologist” was the first context in which the word “apologist” refers to? It has been used before to describe people who make a defense of a controversial idea or person, such as Hitler apologists, Radical Islamic apologists, racist apologists, apologists of genocide, etc.

And Snape wasn’t sexually assaulted. He may have been humiliated, bullied and abused in that scene, but he wasn’t sexually assaulted.

I’m seeing a lot of people talking about Rebecca Sugar coming out like, “lmao did anybody think she was straight?”

Please don’t do this. Coming out can be one of the hardest things a person does, even when they play it off like it isn’t a big deal, especially given the circumstances Rebecca was under. Making jokes about how she was ~basically already out~ or that ~it was obvious~ is incredibly trivializing of the decision she felt she had to make, and furthermore becomes a serious issue of bi visibility and erasure when her coming out is met with remarks that sound an awful lot like, “Knowing she wasn’t straight was enough, we didn’t need to know she was bi.”

Just, please. Reconsider the way you’re talking about this.

Unrequited love may be the hardest form of love to exist. You care too much, you wish too much, you love too much for someone who doesn’t share the same feelings as you. And it hurts. You want them to know how you feel, but you’re scared to tell them because you’re almost certain that you’ll get torn apart by the sharp rejection coming from their lips. It hurts because you want them to care for you as much as you do. It hurts because little things that happen between you two are so important to you, but these things are so trivial to them. And the worst part of it all is that they don’t even know how much they’re hurting you every single day.