trip toy

(Super-fast idea, because I found this picture and, after laughing at the Sheriff’s face for two minutes straight, the idea hit me straight in the face)

Several years in the future, Derek and the Sheriff are kind of buddies.

Derek is now a consultant for the Beacon Hills police for any kind of supernatural crime or when they need his super sniffer in critical emergencies (Derek found the lost little girl almost immediately, while the K9 unit from the next town was still lost in the woods. The Sheriff was so proud. They never talk about the fact that they had to circle the town in John’s police car, Derek’s head hanging out of the window like a poodle on a roadtrip).

So John and Derek sometimes hang out, watch football match together, they have a beer, talk about Stiles’ news from college. They enjoy each other’s company in a very quiet, simple way.

Then, Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills for Christmas, and immediately comes out as bisexual to his dad.

The Sheriff blinks, then hugs him.

And that should be the end of it. John is genuinely glad that Stiles told him, and happy that he seems to grow up happy in his own skin.

John honestly doesn’t mean to search stuffs online, but he’s bored, and one innocent question about LGBT rights in California turn into a quick google search and quickly devolve into a spiral of links. John falls deep. Too deep.

He manages to keeps his anxiety at bay all the way to Derek’s home, and his knocks on the door are barely frantic. But Derek opens the door as if he is expecting the Sheriff to be on fire, so John guesses that he didn’t control his panic-stricken heartbeat as well as he thought.

After a few minutes of assuring Derek that no, Stiles is fine, John is fine, everyone is fine, no Stiles isn’t hurt, nobody’s kid got missing again, Melissa is fine, there is no monster eating anyone, Stiles is totally ok, and getting a glass of perfectly good whisky from Derek (who apparently keeps it around just for John), John finally explains.

Because Derek? Derek is bisexual.

They have talked about it in passing several times. Talked about Derek’s ex, Jeff, who used to be a cop in New Jersey until he got shot on duty and became a teacher. Talked of the creep Derek had to call the police on one night while he was drinking at the Jungle and despairing over the shitty techno music. Talked about the association for LGBT kids Derek gives money to, and that he goes help from times to times.

To the Sheriff, it never seemed like a detail more important than knowing that Derek hates cheap beer or that he is a sore loser when his sport team gets slaughtered.

But now, now it is important. Because the Sheriff needs someone with answers, precise answers, about things that he can’t ask directly to his kid.

About giant sex toys and trips to the ER and drugs use and STDs and biphobia and bullying.

He kind of blurt it all. Derek’s eyes look gigantic and his eyebrows almost fly off his forehead.

So that’s how Derek becomes the Sheriff’s mentor in everything LGBT.

It’s not as weird as it could be.


Derek answers all the questions as best as he can, tries to reassure him. When he doesn’t know (and he wonders where the Sheriff got these informations), they look for answers together online, while staying far away from certain websites.  

(All the while, Derek tries to ignore really, really hard, that Stiles is bisexual and apparently single. He fails).

Then maybe the Sheriff brings Derek back home in the hope that Derek will talk to Stiles about all these stuffs (because he’s not sure he has mastered the details enough to give the bisexual version of the Talk. Also, the image of the humongous dildo is still haunting him).

So they end up all around the kitchen table, Stiles looking bewildered and a little bit lost, Derek resigned and awkward and the Sheriff looking at them with crazy eyes (again, gigantic dildo. And ER trips. Melissa works there, this can never happen to them) until they start talking.

Stiles knows all those things. Derek knows that Stiles knows. They talk about it anyway because, well, the Sheriff is starting to turn grey in worry.

After a little while, Stiles finally understands that Derek is talking from experience. That Derek is bisexual. And single.

And Derek knows that Stiles is bisexual. And single.

The awkwardness quickly turns to vague innuendos, then obvious flirting, then eyefucking over mugs of coffee.

The Sheriff gets his colors back progressively. He wonders for a second if he should protest this development (the whole, 7 years older and a werewolf thing could be a problem), but really, Derek is a great man.

And he apparently knows how to use lube, condoms, and would never be stupid enough to use a gigantic dildo then lose it somewhere in his son.


All in all, he’s ok with the direction this whole thing is taking.


(You can find my other headcanons/not fic here and my fics on AO3. Please come say hi on tumblr when you want people :D)

I
The day you first smiled at me,
you were eleven and I was twelve
and she didn’t hit me back home.
Little fairy, you have always fulfilled
my deepest wishes.

II
When you called me your friend,
you were dressed in purple
and my stomach didn’t hurt as we danced.
I wondered if I should have kissed you then,
but you were happy with him
and that was enough.


III
I dried your tears because I cared.
Believe me,
I tried to protect you from him after
I noticed I didn’t liked seeing you hurt.
If I could, I’d go back and tell you the truth
since the begining,
I’d do it in a heartbeat.


IV
My jacket suits you better than his arms,
and your lips will always be my favorite flavour.
It hurt me, too.
But I will never touch you unless you want me too,
I will always be whatever you need me to.
As long as you are okay, I’ll be that.


V
I did saw you.
You looked so beautiful when I made that joke,
and your touch stayed with me for months,
just like your birthday kiss
and the sensation of your palm touching mine.


VI
I also know I looked bad,
know that I felt bad  and couldn’t care less.
But when the summer came,
and you were here,
I cared.
That was me, being better for me,
because of you
for the first time.


VII
Kissing you that day was a stellar moment in my life,
following you around and beyond a first.
It felt like the last, too.
And the only one. 
For me, it still feels that way.


VIII
I would call you mine everyday,
I would call you my sun,
my stars and my moon,
everything and anything, you.
You have no idea how many times I did it when you weren’t there,
just to make it clear to them,
I wasn’t letting you go anywhere anytime soon.


IX
There’s times when I laugh
remembering my fear and reaction to your words.
Sometimes I forget we were both kids
and that you have never shied away from love.
But you loved me,
not him or someone else,
me.
Suddenly,
everyting else didn’t matter.


X
Having you in my arms
will always be my favorite position to sleep.
Your heart beating against my touch,
your breathing matching mine,
your dreams becoming ours.
Best moment of my day.


XI
What I did still matters to me,
everything felt like changing after
and you never looked at me the same way.
I mean it, and I still do:
I love you,
I do,
I will always love you,
and I will always be sorry about that.


XII
I’m sorry.
       I’m sorry.
              I’m sorry.
                      I’m sorry.
                             I’m sorry.
                                    I’m sorry.
                                           I’m sorry.


XIII
You are never coming back,
don’t you?
I love you still,
I will succumb to the infinity of it.


XIV
I’m sorry.

—  love story. // jackie on my mind. nc.
Bratty
  • Me: You're a butthead.
  • CG: Oh really? Somebody is feeling bratty today.
  • Me: Nuh-uh you're just a butthead.
  • Me: *trips over a toy and falls*
  • Me: *pouts and tears up*
  • CG: Does a bratty little someone need my help now?
  • Me: Nuh-uh! Not from a butthead!
  • CG: Okay then...
  • CG: *Begins to walk away*
  • Me: Daddy!!!
  • Me: *starts to cry and tries to sit up*
  • CG: *rushes to my side and pulls me up into his arms*
  • CG: Hush, little one... I'm here. It's okay. Where's it hurt?
  • Me: *sniffling*
  • Me: I'm sorry for being bratty... I really am.
  • CG: It's okay, hunny... Now where are the owies? Do we need princess bandaids today or just kisses?

It’s okay that you didn’t take note of red flags. My abuser once straight up bragged to me about how great she was at manipulation and showed me text conversations of her guilt tripping and emotionally toying with a guys who were interested in her, and it didn’t worry me at all. When you’re starry eyed for someone, you let things go and laugh things off. It’s not your fault for not leaving after warning signs. You shouldn’t “have known better.” It was still them who abused you, and that’s never on you.

Boyfriend!JENO

Originally posted by na-jmin

NCT Boyfriend Series! [Boyfriend!Jeno]

Time for JENO LEE!!!

*don’t kill me bc its in lowercase…it’s not proper writing ANYWAY*

boyfriend!nct masterlist


  • okay so lets get right into it, skip the how u met part
  • like mark, jeno would be such a sweet cute bf who wants nothing but the world for you
  • jENO WOULD HYPE U THE FUCKKK UP WHENEVER U HAD TO DO SHIT!
  • at first it was cute like if u were anxious over an exam or something he’d be like u can do it, and when you got a good grade or did something good he’d be like “look at y/n!!! they did sooo well”
  • but gradually he’d start doing it over everything
  • like if u nearly tripped over a toy while holding a cup of water he’d be like “OMG LOOK HOW THEY DID THAT!! LEGENDS ONLY”
  • he’s a really cuddly person so i don’t think he’d be hesitant to do skin ship??
  • he might be shy to do it in front of nct bc u know they always tease him
  • so naturally u respect him and u don’t make a big deal if one second ur kissing and cuddling on the couch and next second ur both sitting on the opposite ends bc he heard the front door open
  • i feel like jeno is the type to get u a lot of gifts

Keep reading

Batfam Mall Trip Headcanons

Cowritten with @ninjathrowingstork

  • Bruce is the only one allowed to drive and control the radio. This decreases the death threats by 50%
  • Shotgun is on a rotating schedule
  • Seating rules for the Wayne mom van: Damian and Tim will not sit together. Cass and Steph will not sit apart. Babs will ignore you unless your aura is orange, there is nothing you can do to make your aura more orange. Dick must on no account be given alcohol; Jason must at all times be given alcohol, and will need an hour to violently protest the whole trip before leaving. And, most importantly, Damian will be working under the presumption that you are trying to kill him unless proved otherwise, so avoid giving him blunt instruments, sharp knives, or hot liquids
  • Once arrived, everyone must stay together. Last time resulted in damages, broken bones, and being banned from an entire restaurant chain
  • Do not let Babs in a tech store too long, she will either buy out the store or start a Costco style demonstration of why these products are crap
  • If there is a fitness center, Cass is not allowed in. She will leave with 560 phone numbers, 15 boys crying because she put them to shame, 10 with injuries trying to keep up/beat/impress her, and a job offer
  • Tim is not allowed to buy his own lunch, it will contain very little actual food and too much caffeine
  • Do not get between Jay and Dick at the arcade air hockey table. Let them duke it out between them. This feud has been going since Jason’s voice squeaked and isn’t going to end soon
  • Jason must be kept on a timer in all bookstores. Also a tracker so he doesn’t decide to just move into their stockroom and never leave. Tim is almost as bad but can be bribed away with the promise of Starbucks
  • If there is a bouncy place, Bruce is required to rent the whole place for the day in advance. No young child should be subjected to his family in the bounce house.
  • Steph is to be under supervision inside the Icing, and never allowed in with Damian. Last time the two were in the Claire’s, he almost ended up with a pierced ear, and took a week to stop sulking over it. Steph will try to buy all the nesting makeup kits and anything purple
  • Dick is never again allowed to take Damian to the furniture to test mattresses again
  • Damian is to be under heavy supervision at any pet shop, and must subject himself to a minimum of three (3) pat downs when leaving
  • Any Batkids attempting the dance game demo must be reminded that it is 1) a game and 2) not worth using full acrobatic abilities to show each other up with
  • Cass and Tim will destroy any and all challengers at DDR, do not challenge them or we will be here all day. Damian is especially not allowed to challenge them, because he will be a close third, refuse to quit, and hurt himself trying to beat Tim.
  • The Lego store will be a 4 hour trip in itself, with everyone leaving with their own personalized minifigures, the new kit they’ve been wanting, and Babs having neatly sorted those bins in the back of loose pieces
  • Jason must never be allowed in the Hot Topic alone, and Dick must never be allowed in with anyone
  • Shotgun on the way home is awarded to who can find the weirdest decoration or collectible. Every single one, whether it won or not, is kept in a China cabinet in the manor that Alfred loves to dust and is quite the conversation piece at parties
  • Steph will grab whoever is closest and make them get their makeup and nails done with her. Even Bruce is not immune.
  • No one is allowed more Harry Potter merch. Not because Bruce has anything against it, but because he already has four different rooms in the manor dedicated to it, one per house and decorated as closely to the common rooms as possible/theorized. They do not need anymore. No. (They all leave with some anyways. Every time. He should know better)
  • Additionally, no playing Quidditch in the parking lot. They don’t have enough people anyway
  • Shopping cart races in the parking lot are also banned, because the Batfam motto might as well be “go big or go home”, and it’s hard to have a reasonable patrol schedule when most of the family is in some type of cast or brace.
  • Likewise, no surfing down the escalator handrails
  • Randomly yelling “ice bucket challenge!!!” And upending your drink over your sibling’s head is not allowed
  • Planking was banned when Bruce continually had to come retrieve his children from the top of shelving units
  • Before that, Dick was banned from planking because balancing perpendicular to the guardrail with sheer ab strength is 1) cheating because he’s already an acrobat, and 2) going to attract security when you do it on the third story of the mall
  • Adding to that, he is further forbidden from, while balancing on the rail, flinging out his arms and shouting “I’m flying, Jack” across the food court
  • Damian is not allowed near any pet food aisles. Not because of his affinity for animals, but because he will try to feed it to Tim, arguing that it’s better than he feeds himself sometimes anyways (he’s not wrong, hence Damian trying to make the point and save his brother from himself). Further, should Damian slip away and manage to procure said dog food, Tim is not allowed to grab a fork from the food court and eat it while staring Damian down
  • Jason is not allowed near hand soaps and shaving creams since he turned an aisle into a giant slip ‘n slide (all the kids and overworked Millennials had a blast, the adults overseeing them did not)
  • Dick is banned from figure skating down any slip 'n slide aisles Jason is responsible for
  • Dick is banned from figure skating in general when there’s a skating rink at the mall in the winter
  • All children are banned from skating together because they get competitive. Shouting out scores to siblings as they skate is frowned upon but not prohibited until it starts to get out of hand
  • If there is a fitness center that offers yoga, Dick is also banned. He will end up teaching the class, leave with even more numbers than Cass, 7 people with pulled muscles from trying to match his bendiness, and at least 18 women all convinced they’re his girlfriend or that he was hitting on them
  • If there’s a Brookstone or similar store, no one is allowed to start battles with any of the gadgets, or else try to modify “improve” any of the gadgets, and should be strictly supervised
  • Unless they’re in one of the massage chairs, in which case they’re not to be disturbed until it’s time to leave the mall
  • If there is a massage place at the mall, Bruce basically has to reserve at least one masseuse for the entire day and alternate children. He goes last and always gets one that’s geared toward headache treatment
  • Tim is not allowed near a display laptop. Neither is Babs.*
  • *exception: if the mall’s radio station is terrible, Bruce will “lose track” of them so they can hack and fix it
  • Dick isn’t allowed to pick the music anymore, even if he could have hacked it from his gauntlet computer when he was their age
  • Babs is not allowed near copies of Fifty Shades of Grey or the subsequent books, because they have a tendency to “spontaneously combust” when she’s around. Other, more… unfortunate…things have happened to them after Cass walked past the display.
  • There is a running tradition of buying siblings weird, fun socks they’ll like. It’s like a secret Santa exchange, with everyone drawing random names before they leave for the mall. There is also a game of trying to buy the person’s socks without them noticing while they’re in line with you. Bruce has more Superman and Wonder Woman knee highs than he will ever wear in one lifetime (including the ones that have little capes). Steph gets ones with baked goods on them. Damians are all animals. Tim’s are all nerdy pop culture ones from like Hot Topic. Dicks are all brightly colored. Babs likes anything odd, and Cass likes pastels, which confuses everyone. Jay likes food ones, but Tim won brother of the year when he got Jason tombstone ones during Halloween because of how many death jokes he could wear on his feet, he was so excited. No one knows who found the zombie socks for Jason.
  • Dick will insist on riding the little animals you can rent for the day. He will try to get Dami to join him. All sharp objects must be kept out of range when this happens. Dami will eventually yield, but not without a fight to maintain his reputation, and it turns out they charge more when they have to clean out blood stains
  • Damian is not allowed to fill out mall surveys, ever
  • Damian is also not allowed to fill out entries for new cars, and his siblings are not allowed to help rig the drawings in his favor. He’s 10, he doesn’t need a car yet, I don’t care if you drive better than Steph (no, Steph, don’t hit your brother), you don’t get a car till you can legally drive. Being able to reach the pedals isn’t enough.
  • Dick is not allowed near crying children in a toy section because he will buy every child what they want every time, and while Bruce doesn’t mind so much, they really don’t have time to buy every child in the mall a toy when they hear he’s playing Santa. (If given warning, Bruce will absolutely sponsor a buy children toys trip (he’s even played mall Santa himself a few times), but do not drop it on him on the day of)
  • Anyone riding the carousel must be seated properly. Climbing to hang around the front of the animals head or perch on its neck or anything else is not allowed. Certain circus boys aren’t allowed on any animal more exotic than a horse due to the whining and begging for a Bat Elephant that always follow
  • Theater hopping is absolutely not a “stealth exercise ”
  • Jason and Damian are both, for entirely separate incidents, banned from those super powerful vending machine bouncy balls.
  • Damian isn’t allowed to buy ice cream from one of those hi-tech kiosks that uses liquid nitrogen to freeze the ice cream
  • Photo booth sessions are only allowed 2 siblings at a time, and nothing more silly than facial expressions are allowed
  • Any concealed gadgets must stay hidden, even inside the photo booth
  • Tim, Dick, and Babs are not allowed to change the wifi passwords of stores with rude employees. (An exception is granted to stores who are clearly mistreating employees. The distraction gives Bruce time to lead a revolution)
  • Bruce is only allowed to try to buy up one business per mall trip
  • If there is a nice stationery store, Babs will stop to test out the fine pens. You are not to interrupt her or she will try to use your blood as the ink of the next fountain pen she tests
  • If a new handheld game comes out that more than one sibling wants, everyone gets their own copy to prevent save data from being erased. This has prevented wars
  • Jason only gets to stop at one sunglasses kiosk to try on pairs. Dick must be allowed to stop at every kiosk due to how many pairs he goes through.
  • Stephanie is the best haggler at the outrageously overpriced kiosks, especially perfume ones. She also has a good idea of how things should be priced so that retailers still make money without gouging customers, so just let her do her thing and everyone will be happy. maybe take notes
  • Bonus: Bruce has, on more than one occasion, been in the process of dressing to go golfing or yachting or something that requires shorts with WE members, only to discover that the kids have ganged up and stolen all his socks. All of them. Except the JL ones. He has to wear caped socks golfing. He just sighs and says sometimes his 10 year old is the most mature of the lot, and they all nod in sympathy. He will ironically wear the Batman knee highs, because there’s no way anyone who knows Bruce Wayne would suspect him of being Batman if he’s wearing ridiculous Batman socks
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Pure Fluff (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

Another Year -  doodlebuglester

Summary: Dan realizes that even the most cliché of songs can have some merit.

Curled Hair and Painted Nails - darling-phil

Summary: When Dan begins to lack confidence about his newly painted nails and natural hair, Phil is there to offer his support.

English Rain - fleurdelester

Summary: After filming another pokemon go video, Dan and Phil get caught in a downpour.

Family - phillestatos

Summary: When Dan met Phil, she never thought an eighteen-year-old boy could change his son’s life in that way and how he could become family to her. Or, a reflexion of Dan and Phil’s relationship through the years in Phil’s mum point of view. Too floof.

Haru-Chan - phillestatos

Summary: Phil just hates that Haru pillow. It’s ridiculous and pathetic, but he can’t help but feel that Haru’s blue eyes look at him as saying, He loves me more than you. jealous!Phil.

House of Memories - wavydanrises

Summary: In which Phil is away, and Dan reflects back on their life together.

I Can Fix That - lavendercha

Summary: The washing machine breaks and Phil tries to fix it.

In This Moment All I Know - undressrehearsal

Summary: Dan is fascinated by the rain and Phil is fascinated by Dan, but he’d really like it if the boy would just come back to bed already.

It Starts & Ends With Your Arms - phanimist

Summary: dan and phil share a hotel bed in hong kong as all the other rooms are booked up. despite their unmentioned habit/tendency to wake up finding themselves curled up to one another, they’re both slightly more than comfortable with the sleeping arrangements.

Morning Glow - darling-phil

Summary: Dan wakes up before Phil and can’t help but admire how beautiful he looks in the morning. It’s only so long before his thoughts turn less…innocent.

Rain And Trees And Sunshine - jilliancares

Summary: Phil lends Dan his jacket.

Somewhere Only We Know - phan-fiction

Summary: The bench overlooking the lake in Central Park was the place Dan would go to lose himself in his thoughts and be alone. That is, until Phil Lester joins him one day, and suddenly Dan is no longer going to the bench to be alone. Suddenly the bench is where he gains a best friend, and where he falls in love.

Textbook Love - phanimist

Summary: phil works at the library, and is more than happy to get to know the cute boy at the back of the room, even if he does play his music loudly.

Thanks To The Internet - irphanfic

Summary: How Dan and Phil wrote the verse ‘’without the internet we never would have met’’ for The Internet Is Here.

That’s The Way I Like It And I’ll Never Get Bored - secretlywritingstories

Summary: Dan takes a joke way too far and Phil has to listen to a certain Shrek song in their radio show too many times.

The Greatest Valentine of All - phloridas

Summary: A simple trip to the toy store sparks some nostalgic feelings–and plants an idea in Dan’s mind. Is Phil ready for his proposition? Or, the one where seeing a bunch of kids’ toys makes Dan really, really want a child.

You Are Not Trivial - phanimist

Summary: dan being a ghost doesn’t once hinder the friendship between him and phil. the two are constantly there for each other, despite their various differences in problems, and they never let the concepts of what’s ‘real’ and what isn’t define them and the relationship they have.

Your Love (Make Me Feel Like) - cafephan

Summary: Dan plans a spontaneous getaway for himself and Phil.