Sterek | Trucker/Telemarketer AU | T | 2500 words | AO3 | Moodboard
Let it be known that @dizzy-redhead is a terrible influence. I was working on a serious fic, one I’ve been intending to write for months and months, but I sent her a prompt and said, “Wouldn’t this be a terrible and hilarious Sterek AU?” and she agreed with me and said she wanted it. So I wrote it.
The prompt: “You are a semi truck driver with a hands free device. You receive a call
from a telemarketer in the morning. He can’t hang up on you, and little
does he know that you’re perfectly willing to talk to him all day long.”
Yes, I have shamelessly titled this after an Alabama song, though I did not incorporate the plot of the song (in which the trucker gets stranded in a snowstorm and the highway patrol calls his spouse), seasonally appropriate as it would have been, mostly because I was ¾ done with the story before the title occurred to me.
Derek knew he had a
reputation for being a loner. Cora’s only reaction to the news that he’d
decided to become a long-haul trucker was, “A job where you’re forcibly alone
all day, several feet above everyone else? How perfect for you.” Kind of mean,
but not untrue, like many things Cora said.
But as much as Derek
had appreciated the silence and solitude at first, he now honestly found it
kind of… boring. Which was why he didn’t hesitate to accept the call when his
cell rang, even though the screen clearly read “unknown number,” usually a sure
sign of a telemarketer. This was a cross-country haul and he was desperate.
“May I speak to Derek
Hale?” said a rather apathetic voice.
“Hello, sir, my name
is, uh, fuck—my name is Mike and I’m
calling from your cellular service provider with a reminder that you are
eligible for a new phone.”
Derek was pretty sure
“Mike” was supposed to sound a lot more chipper about this amazing opportunity.
“How exciting,” he responded flatly.
“Mike” sighed. “I
know, right? I mean, clearly your current phone still works fine, otherwise how
would I even be talking to you.”
“Do you even know who
my cell service provider is?” Derek
asked, and caught sight of his smirk in the rearview mirror.
“Uh… honestly, dude?
Not a clue. If you’ve got complaints about your service, I’ve got a number I
can transfer you to.”
“Oh, I don’t care
either, I was just curious.”
“Mike” spluttered out
a laugh. “So you want to hear about this fabulous new phone? You haven’t hung
“Go for it. Does it
“You know, it does. So many features! Very few of them
actually useful to any sane human being. I think they’re going for a quantity
over quality approach here.”
Pairing: Castiel x Reader (ft. Dean, Sam, and Gabriel)
Content/Warnings: Fluff; angst
A/N: This wasn’t requested, but it’s been on my mind so I figured I would write it. (plus no one requested a Cas soulmate AU) Enjoy, guys!
“Alright, there look to be around twelve vamps in this nest,” Dean said. “Cas, you and Y/N take the back, Sam and I will take the side.”
You nodded, waving the angel over to walk with you. The sun was high in the sky as the two of you crept silently around the building. You were picking your way carefully through the leaves, watching for anything that could cause you to fall. Castiel tripped in a hole, limbs flailing, and you grabbed him before he could crash headlong into the wall and heaved him back. “You alright?” You whispered.
“I, um, yes. Fine,” He stammered, quickly taking the lead. The angel was adamantly refusing to meet your gaze. “This way.”
Shaking your head, the persistent wonder if Castiel even liked you filtered through once more. “There’s the door,” You whispered. “I’ll open, you go in first.”
“Alright,” He said, and you slowly turned the doorknob, pulling it quickly open. Castiel went in first, the two of you beheading unsuspecting vampires with little resistance. It wasn’t long before your ran into Sam and Dean, who had killed half. “I believe all the vampires are now dead.”
“Alright, good work team,” Dean said. “Let’s get rid of these vamps and get out of here.”
Castiel disappeared, wings fluttering, and reappeared a few moments later. “It is done. Shall we go?”
“Sure,” Dean said with a shrug, leading the way out.
You nodded for Cas that he could leave first, and you leaned down to tie your shoe. A painful smack of person-against-wood drew your attention to Cas, who was rubbing his face and glaring at the doorframe. “Cas, are you sure you’re okay?”
Hamilton West End’s Laurens and Hamilton play the relationship as so intense. They’re always next to each other or looking to find each and physically reaching out moreso than even I imagined. I am 100% here for it and all the added arm holding and hugging. Yes. Thank you. More of this please. I’m maybe going to go and reread their letters.