shoutout to people with ptsd, combat or otherwise
shoutout to people with c-ptsd
shoutout to people who experience vivid flashbacks
shoutout to people who have obscure triggers
shoutout to people who go nonverbal
shoutout to people whose identity is a result of their trauma
shoutout to people who still care for their abuser
shoutout to people who regress when they’re triggered
PSA: Disabled people’s vulnerabilities are not here for your entertainment.
As an autistic person, I spend a lot of time with social skills. I’d like to start off with some social skills that you may have learned in childhood. I’m betting that these are fairly non-controversial statements:
Do not pull a cat’s tail. That’s mean.
Do not kick dogs.
Do not slam the door on your pet’s tail.
Do not blow a high-pitched dog whistle loudly into a dog’s ear.
Always treat animals with kindness.
Now I’m going to say another social skill, which is apparently less important to some people:
You should treat disabled people with kindness.
Along the way, sometimes it gets forgotten or ignored that people like me also have thoughts and feelings. And people will treat actual humans far, far worse than they would treat an animal.
Hurting people is always wrong. Even if something doesn’t hurt you, if someone says it is painful to them, you need to stop it.
In praxis, this means:
Do not grab an autistic person from behind to make them wail. That’s mean.
Do not try to trigger unreality in a psychotic person. That’s mean.
Do not tell your dog to jump on someone with zoophobia, do not throw fake spiders at someone with arachnophobia, and do not show a graphic injury to someone who is terrified of blood. That’s mean.
Do not slam doors or fire guns to make someone with PTSD jump. That’s mean.
Do not show triggering pictures to someone with a mental illness, without warning them first, to make them cry or “get over it already.” That’s mean.
Do not mimic someone’s ticcing or try to make them do it more for your entertainment. That’s mean.
Do not upset someone on purpose, whether they are obviously disabled, secretly disabled, or not disabled. That’s mean.
Do respect other people’s pain. If they say that hurts, believe them. Don’t do it more to watch their reaction.
Some might say that this is the Thought Police trying to control you. It’s not illegal to think that it is fun to hurt people. You won’t be carted off to jail for intentionally making someone cry.
But people won’t trust you, any more than I’d trust an adult who pulls cats’ tails for fun. Because it’s a sure sign that you aren’t a decent human being.
And to the people who don’t do this: if you see someone else doing it, please ask them to knock it off. Bullies might not listen to disabled people, because they might not care what disabled people say. But they may listen to someone else. Please don’t let them keep tormenting their victim.
Please consider sharing this with your friends, to remind them how important it is to stand up to bullying, no matter what it looks like.
Trolls and other people who like to make “triggered” jokes have actually made it so mentally ill people don’t feel like they can use the word for it’s actual purpose. You’ve literally taken terminology from mentally ill people, but keep talking about how we’re the ones who “ruined” it by tagging things you think are silly.
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Triggered. It doesn’t mean angry. The word does not mean sad.
There has been this horrible trend to claim to be triggered based on a misunderstanding of the word. And the new sarcastic and witty response to anyone passionately disagreeing with you is to call the person triggered. It is time to stop this. Now.
Triggered means that a person has had significant trauma and an event has put their body and mind into a place of danger, when there is little to no actual danger. Inability to breathe, panic attacks, uncontrollable crying, inability to speak, freeze flight or fight…these are some of the symptoms. The person’s alarm is on. Their brain is telling them they are in danger. It can also lead to avoidance of triggers so that they do not have to feel that way.
It affects function. It can lead to addiction, loss of employment, loss of support system. It’s not a joke.
To use triggered because someone has said something offensive is wrong. People with PTSD can be triggered by media or Internet- but there is a difference is being hurt, angered, saddened and being triggered.
To use triggered to make fun of people’s passion is wrong. You are making light or making fun of people who suffer from PTSD. People are allowed to have feelings and not be “triggered”. and people who have PTSD do not deserve to be your punchline.
Do you know the largest two groups of individuals who are diagnosed with PTSD?
Veterans and sexual assault survivors and when the popular trend is making fun of people being “triggered” that is who you are really hurting. That is who you are making fun of. That is who suffers.
Just FYI. If you deal with PTSD. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and processing therapy (EMDR) are the most evidenced based treatments.
This thankfully hasn’t really come up yet but I wanted to throw up a quick reminder to all of you that there is never any need to feel embarrassed, foolish, or “silly” for reacting strongly to a certain subject.
If we are roleplaying something dark/sensitive/nsfw, which I may do because I like to cover a lot of subjects in my writing, please, please remember that you can back out at any time. Even if we are in the middle of writing the scene. Even if we’ve planned the scene way in advance. Maybe you thought you could handle a violent scene, but then when the moment actually came, it just really got to you. That’s ok. We’ll stop.
Your comfort is always more important to me than the story.
We can time-skip the scene. We can do a different thread entirely, if that’s what you feel like you need. Communication is key to any relationship, and that includes between RP partners.
On that note, if you read my roleplays and I haven’t tagged something that triggers you, please just send me a message. Even if it’s on anon. I’ll gladly make a new tag for it.
I’ve been thinking about this over the last few days. You can have the same trauma and one person is triggered, and one isn’t. Triggers are weird. Sometimes they don’t make a lot of sense.
If you live a life without them, great. That’s wonderful, and I am so happy for you. (not even sarcastically, I am seriously happy for you.). What warnings do, is let me, and others like me, have that life (or something closer to it).
I’ve seen a couple posts in passing (I didn’t look that long) mention that it’s hard to manage what you’re posting, and unless someone has PTSD they’re really just being a special snowflake.
I do have PTSD. Creepily, I have child PTSD, so my responses to trauma aren’t even what the medical community was looking for when I first presented as an adult victim. So I have to be treated for both, and it takes time. A really disarming part of treatment is taking down the shields I have against being hurt, because they’re coping mechanisms.
I have to let them go to get to the problem. So my world is more terrifying than it has been for most of my adult life, so I can get to the little girl who was hurt and help her heal.
Even if I didn’t have PTSD. I matter. One doesn’t have to have a diagnosis to ask for accommodations. We’re a kind enough community that we can do that. Most people I’ve met on tumblr, no matter what they ship, or what characters they dislike, are good people.
Anyone who struggles to say they matter, matters. Not speaking up is a common thread among the abused, because many of us were told not to, in clever manipulative ways.
Some of us did speak up and weren’t listened to, so had to relearn that our pain is relevant and important.
If you don’t have triggers, warnings let me live like you. I can prepare and avoid. I suggest the handy Archive of Our Own list as a good tagging start point.
If you’re posting fic on tumblr, it would be great if you’d put these at the top of the post, not just the bottom.
Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Major Character Death
No Warnings Apply
Choose Not to Include Warnings
All of these give your reader consent. They’re pretty fantastic. I think I might start putting ‘no warnings apply’ on all my fics that fall into that category just because it’ll help normalize that ‘nothing’ isn’t helpful. I want my readers to know what they’re getting.
If you do have triggers, hugs and comforting beverages for you. Here’s to a better year ahead.
Sometimes I wish I could trigger dissociation rather than deal with the panic attacks, hypervigilance, and flashbacks on my own all day. Even during age regression I’m stronger than when I’m in the midst of a flashback.
I feel so fake sometimes, wishing I could just hand over the reins for a while…
hey babs! ♡ ♡ i just wanted to remind you that it’s totally okay to BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR TRIGGERS. it doesn’t make you a bad roleplay partner if you have to stop in the middle of an rp and say ‘hey this just isn’t working out for me anymore.’ you might have even agreed to it beforehand. maybe you had no idea it was a trigger until the plot got underway. maybe halfway through the rp you started feeling anxious about continuing. *takes your face in hands* listen up real good.(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ THAT’S OKAY. the very moment a roleplay starts making you feel gross, depressed, anxious, or generally bad—– don’t hesitate to drop it, and explain your feelings to your partner. your mental health is more important than your ships, storylines, plots, and your roleplay partner’s expectations. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. xoxo