PSA: Disabled people’s vulnerabilities are not here for your entertainment.

As an autistic person, I spend a lot of time with social skills. I’d like to start off with some social skills that you may have learned in childhood. I’m betting that these are fairly non-controversial statements:

  • Do not pull a cat’s tail. That’s mean.
  • Do not kick dogs.
  • Do not slam the door on your pet’s tail.
  • Do not blow a high-pitched dog whistle loudly into a dog’s ear.
  • Always treat animals with kindness.

Now I’m going to say another social skill, which is apparently less important to some people:

  • You should treat disabled people with kindness.

Along the way, sometimes it gets forgotten or ignored that people like me also have thoughts and feelings. And people will treat actual humans far, far worse than they would treat an animal.

Hurting people is always wrong. Even if something doesn’t hurt you, if someone says it is painful to them, you need to stop it.

In praxis, this means:

  • Do not grab an autistic person from behind to make them wail. That’s mean.
  • Do not try to trigger unreality in a psychotic person. That’s mean.
  • Do not tell your dog to jump on someone with zoophobia, do not throw fake spiders at someone with arachnophobia, and do not show a graphic injury to someone who is terrified of blood. That’s mean.
  • Do not slam doors or fire guns to make someone with PTSD jump. That’s mean.
  • Do not show triggering pictures to someone with a mental illness, without warning them first, to make them cry or “get over it already.” That’s mean.
  • Do not mimic someone’s ticcing or try to make them do it more for your entertainment. That’s mean.
  • Do not upset someone on purpose, whether they are obviously disabled, secretly disabled, or not disabled. That’s mean.
  • Do respect other people’s pain. If they say that hurts, believe them. Don’t do it more to watch their reaction.

Some might say that this is the Thought Police trying to control you. It’s not illegal to think that it is fun to hurt people. You won’t be carted off to jail for intentionally making someone cry.

But people won’t trust you, any more than I’d trust an adult who pulls cats’ tails for fun. Because it’s a sure sign that you aren’t a decent human being.


And to the people who don’t do this: if you see someone else doing it, please ask them to knock it off. Bullies might not listen to disabled people, because they might not care what disabled people say. But they may listen to someone else. Please don’t let them keep tormenting their victim.

Please consider sharing this with your friends, to remind them how important it is to stand up to bullying, no matter what it looks like.

To my writing partners

This thankfully hasn’t really come up yet but I wanted to throw up a quick reminder to all of you that there is never any need to feel embarrassed, foolish, or “silly” for reacting strongly to a certain subject. 

If we are roleplaying something dark/sensitive/nsfw, which I may do because I like to cover a lot of subjects in my writing, please, please remember that you can back out at any time. Even if we are in the middle of writing the scene. Even if we’ve planned the scene way in advance. Maybe you thought you could handle a violent scene, but then when the moment actually came, it just really got to you. That’s ok. We’ll stop.

Your comfort is always more important to me than the story. 

We can time-skip the scene. We can do a different thread entirely, if that’s what you feel like you need. Communication is key to any relationship, and that includes between RP partners. 

On that note, if you read my roleplays and I haven’t tagged something that triggers you, please just send me a message. Even if it’s on anon. I’ll gladly make a new tag for it. 

Stay safe and have fun, buddies.

How to Cope with Flashbacks

Flashbacks are memories of past traumas. They can occur in a number of different forms – as sounds, images, smells, body sensations, numbness (or a lack of sensations). Often they’re accompanied by a feeling panic, where the individual feels trapped and completely powerless. Flashbacks can also occur in dreams. Because the sensations are so frightening and intense – and are unrelated to what’s happening in the present - the person often feels as if they’re going crazy. What to do to cope with flashback:

1. Tell yourself that you are having a flashback – that it will pass in time – and soon everything will return to normal.

2. Remind yourself that the worst is over – as these terrifying feelings are re-experienced memories. The event that took place is now lodged in the past, and you managed to survive it, and will survive it now.

3. Allow yourself to express the powerful feelings of terror, panic, hurt and/or rage. It is right that you honour your experience.

4. Ground yourself firmly in the here-and-now. Breathe deeply. Notice the sounds and sensations around you in the room. Allow the feelings of panic and terror to slowly dissipate. Keep breathing deeply, and exhaling deliberately. Allow a sense of calm to gradually replace the faintness, shakiness, dizziness and tightness.

5. Reorient yourself. Keep focusing on what you can see, hear, feel, smell, touch and feel in the present. Feel the chair supporting you. Use your five senses to bring you back to this point in time.

6. Speak to your terrified inner child. Reassure them that they are going to be OK. Tell them they are safe in the present. They are not trapped. They can escape at any time.

7. Seek professional support to deal with your flashbacks. Find an experienced therapist who is trained to guide you to a place of healing. You do not have to do cope with this alone. There is help available for you.

anonymous asked:

Triggers are a joke because of how people abused it for the most trivial things. Rather than use them for serious things people decide to consider anything that bothered them in the slightest to be a trigger.

A trigger can be literally anything. What might seem trivial to you can bring back memories to someone else. Humans link things like objects, scents, sounds with experiences - this is why a trigger can be the smell of a certain soap, or deodorant, or mention of a certain place or object. Just because something seems innocuous doesn’t mean it can’t be a trigger.

PSA about triggers

Do not EVER invalidate someone’s trigger because it seems odd or you don’t understand how it’s could be triggering to them. You have not idea what they went through. You have no idea what could have been playing on the tv or the radio during their trauma. You have no idea what items they were traumatized with. What words their abusers called or said to them. What they saw while their trauma was happening. If someone is triggered by balloons for example you don’t know where that came from and it may seem strange to you but for all you know they could have been staring at a balloon during their trauma. In addition people they may not know why something is a trigger either but that doesn’t make it any less valid. Alice in Wonderland triggers the hell out of me and I don’t know why but does that mean it sends up me into any less of a panic state? No. And lastly don’t you dare try to “help” someone “get over” their triggers if they are not ready to confront them. That is not helping that is re-traumatizing.
~Amelia

Triggers

A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.

Triggers are very personal; different things trigger different people.  The survivor may begin to avoid situations and stimuli that they think triggered the flashback. They will react to this flashback, trigger with an emotional intensity similar to that at the time of the trauma. 

A person’s triggers are activated through one or more of the  five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell and taste.  

The senses identified as being the most common to trigger someone are sight and sound, followed by touch and smell, and taste close behind.  A combination of the senses is identified as well, especially in situations that strongly resemble the original trauma. 

Although triggers are varied and diverse, there are often common themes.

Sight

  • Often someone who resembles the abuser or who has similar traits or objects (ie. clothing, hair color, distinctive walk).
  • Any situation where someone else is being abused (ie. anything from a raised eyebrow and verbal comment to actual physical abuse).
  • The object that was used to abuse
  • The objects that are associated with or were common in the household where the abuse took place (ie. alcohol, piece of furniture, time of year).
  • Any place or situation where the abuse took place (ie. specific locations in a house, holidays, family events, social settings).

Sound

  • Anything that sounds like anger (ie. raised voices, arguments, bangs and thumps, something breaking).
  • Anything that sounds like pain or fear (ie. crying, whispering, screaming).
  • Anything that might have been in the place or situation prior to, during, or after the abuse or reminds her/him of the abuse (ie. sirens, foghorns, music, cricket, chirping, car door closing).
  • Anything that resembles sounds that the abuser made (ie. whistling, footsteps, pop of can opening, tone of voice).
  • Words of abuse (ie. cursing, labels, put-downs, specific words used).

Smell

  • Anything that resembles the smell of the abuser (ie. tobacco, alcohol, drugs, after shave, perfume).
  • Any smells that resemble the place or situation where the abuse occurred (ie. food cooking ,wood, odors, alcohol).

Touch

  • Anything that resembles the abuse or things that occurred prior to or after the abuse (ie. certain physical touch, someone standing too close, petting an animal, the way someone approaches you).

Taste

  • Anything that is related to the abuse, prior to the abuse or after the abuse (ie. certain foods, alcohol, tobacco).

Flashbacks

Flashbacks are memories of past traumas. They may take the form of pictures, sounds, smells, body sensations, feelings, or the lack of them (numbness).

Many times there is no actual visual or auditory memory with flashbacks. One may have a sense of panic, of being trapped, or a feeling of powerlessness with no memory stimulating it.  These experiences can also happen in dreams.

During the initial crisis, the survivor had to insulate her/himself from the emotional and physical horrors of the trauma.  In order to survive, that insulated part of the self remained isolated, unable to express the feelings and thoughts of that time.  It is as though the survivor put that part of her/his self into a time capsule, which later surfaces and comes out as a flashback, feeling just as intense in the present as it did during the crisis.

When that part comes out, the survivor is experiencing the past as if it were happening today. The intense feelings and body sensations occurring are frightening because the feelings/sensations are not related to the reality of the present and many times seem to come from nowhere.

The survivor may begin to think they are crazy and is afraid of telling anyone of these experiences.  The survivor may feel out of control and at the mercy of her/his experiences.

Flashbacks are unsettling and may feel overwhelming because the survivor becomes so caught up in the trauma that they forget about the safety and security of the present moment.

There are many explosions stored inside of your body. You know what sets them off and you stay away. Nobody but you gets to decide when one should be set off. Nobody has the right to rip out of your body the pain you’re carrying and to make you feel it before you’re ready.
—  you have a right to your comfort zone.

ok so tonight’s episode of the 100 had hella triggers so im going to list them as a warning for people who haven’t seen it yet

  • self harm
  • domestic/physical violence
  • torture (flashback scenes)
  • lots of emphasis on people being chained up
  • sexual assault (using position of power/threatening someone’s life to get someone to have sex with them)

pls reblog and add more that i may have missed

Hey speaking of triggers, remember that time someone said that red, oozing, fruit reminded them of gore and asked the person to tag it as such and the person laughed at them and answered their question with a closeup of the fruit, mocking them, and ever since then, the post has been reposted dozens of times as hundreds of thousands of people laugh at this person for asking someone to tag a trigger? Seriously stop reposting that post.

Trigger Warnings for 1x12 Wynonna Earp

Since I haven’t seen any posts, I’m letting you guys know that the episode:

- Is going to feature lots of forms of torture.
Including Doc tied up to a cross like in Got and The loo.

- Some guy is going to be stabbing himself in the stomach trying to kill himself.

unpopular opinion: 

asking everyone to tag everyone’s triggers isn’t healthy. 

tumblr is this environment that encourages everyone to constantly feel good all the time. the kind of culture that encourages mental health days and loving one’s body for its imperfections and normalizing unstable mental heath. i’m not here to say that all of that is bad per-say. but its not all good. 

i’ve had unstable mental health for a long, long time. I’ve been to more counselors than I can count. I’ve been on meds. I’ve done what every book says to do. I’m slowly getting better, but I’ve also seen how people get worse. I hate the word “toxic”, but in this situation I think its true when I say that tumblr is a toxic environment. As a person coming from a place of extreme depression and anxiety resulting from abuse, I can say for a fact that the culture it encourages around mental health is fucking not okay. 

let me just start off by saying i’m not a professional or anything. I’ve got a good chunk into a psych degree and talked to a lot of people with hefty therapy backgrounds about this topic but this is pretty much all i have.

Tumblr is full to the brim of young teens just festering with mental health issues. These young people see your posts about “dont feel bad to tag your triggers about this band, or this food” and think that yes, this is normal. this is what makes me feel safe. we advertise that tumblr is a safe place. Tumblr is not a a safe place. Tumblr-, like everywhere else in the world is full of things that will trigger you and make you uncomfortable. And maybe you’re not all looking to get better, but if you are, dont fucking learn from the goddamn posts made from people who are just as mentally unhealthy as you are. Things are going to trigger you. Lots of things will. When you dont have to see these things that trigger you, you feel safe, and you feel good. When you ask someone to tag a trigger for something that causes you to panic, you feel better knowing that you wont have to see that anymore. This isn’t healthy my dude. 

Let me put it in different terms. When you have bad social anxiety and cancel plans you get a rush of pleasure. Suddenly everything feels good and you don’t have to worry for the time being. But guess what? Next time you have plans, it will be easier to cancel and it will be harder to go. That’s because you’re basically rewarding yourself from avoiding the things that cause you anxiety or to panic. No one ever gets better like that. But when you actually go out, and your experience isn’t everything your anxiety thought it would be, its easier the next time. Triggers work the same way. Exposure is one of the ways that MOST counselors deal with people who get triggered by certain things.  From what I’ve learned though, avoidance only makes things worse. If you are terrified of spiders and start hanging out in old basements, eventually you will be less afraid. If listening to a certain band triggers you and you hear enough of it, eventually its effects will be less adverse. 

I get that you all want a safe space to feel good in. I get that. But constantly being coddled and told that this is okay, that not being able to function is normal and okay is fucked up. If you have this serious of a problem with triggers please try and get help- REAL- help. I know its not always available but there are lots of online resources and things that can also help you if you can afford or don’t have access to meds or counselling (message me for links homie) .I’m not saying that all things shouldn’t be tagged. I’m just saying that your specific triggers being tagged won’t actually make you better, and in the long run, you’re not helping anyone or yourselves. 

Here is a short list of triggers respondents from my study had: #HearOurMisophonia

  • Chewing
  • Snoring
  • Leg jiggling
  • Denim scratching
  • Clapping
  • Rubbing hand together
  • Licking and sucking noises
  • Picking lips or mouth area
  • Muffled voices
  • Whistley breathing
  • Deep bass sounds
  • When your mouth is dry and your tongue makes a certain noise against the roof of your mouth when you speak.
  • Slurping
  • Nail biting
  • Paper ripping
  • Pen clicking
  • Drumming on a surface
  • Yawning
  • Repetitive motions
  • Animals cleaning themselves
  • Loud typing
  • Fabric shifting
  • Swallowing
  • Foot tapping
  • Humming
  • Chewing or popping gum
  • Tapping fingers
  • Coughing
  • Breathing
  • Sighing

Triggers can also be Visual as well.