trigger warning for alcoholism

anonymous asked:

Here’s a big ole Holiday Prompt request for you! *does actual best impression of Thomas’s voiceover voice, however still manages to sound like a cross between a dying cow and Betty white* IN AN AU WHERE, Patton discovers the joys of eggnog. Not knowing it is alcoholic. Flirtation. An upset tummy. And eventual embarrassment ensue. And Logicality. Because we all know you’d do it anyway, but lemme just take that pressure off for you fahm. *finger guns*

Thank you so much for this, fam! I appreciate this prompt more than you will ever know, because this is gold. And you know if I’m doing it, it’s going to be Logicality. *finger guns* TRIGGER WARNING: ALCOHOL!!! 

Logan heard a bizarre noise coming from the commons, something between the caterwauling of a cat in heat and the screeching of a deranged banshee. Highly disturbed, and a little curious, he made his way downstairs, passing a frantically retreating Virgil who had both hands clapped over his ears. 

“YOU deal with him, I’m out!” Virgil hissed as he quickly ducked into his room, slamming and locking the door. Logan arched a brow.

“Curiouser and curiouser…” he murmured. Once he made his way into the living room, the source of the noise became readily apparent. Patton was sitting on the couch, a Santa hat sitting on his head at a jaunty angle, his glasses slightly askew, attempting to sing along with the infernal screeching of Kelly Clarkson. He had a glass of yellowish liquid in his hand, and judging from his current state, Logan would estimate he was several glasses deep into the eggnog. 

“What in the name of sanity is happening in here?” Patton giggled happily at Logan’s voice, stumbling to his feet and throwing his arms around the logical side, who stiffened in shock.

“Ohhhhh, L-Loooogaaaannnnn, ‘m soooo happy you’re here! Dontcha wanna…uhhh…glass of….this….stuff?!?” He enthusiastically shook his nearly empty glass, and Logan wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“No, thank you, Patton. It would seem you’ve imbibed enough eggnog for all of us. You do realize this contains alcohol, don’t you?” He tried to peel Patton’s arms from around his neck, but quickly realized this was a futile effort. 

“Whaaaas got alcohol?” Patton’s big eyes blinked owlishly at him, and Logan felt the edges of his lips curling up involuntarily in a fond smile. He really was unfairly adorable, even horribly inebriated. 

“Looooogggaaaannn….you’re soooooo preeeetty!” Patton sighed happily, beaming up at him. Logan’s eyes flew wide and he could feel his cheeks heating up.

“I…beg your pardon?!?” Patton giggled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, which Logan was fairly certain shorted his brain, then leaned back, one hand gently running through his hair while the other traced patterns on his chest.

“I looooove yooouuu, Loooogy Beeeaaar! Y-you don’ looove me, but it don’t matter cuz I love you ‘nuff for both of us!” Patton’s smile was a little watery around the edges, and Logan’s heart fluttered in his chest.

“Patton, I don’t know where you got the impression I don’t care about you, but that is…extremely false. However, this is a conversation better had when you are sober enough to remember it. Come on, I’ll assist you.” Logan moved his face so that Patton’s enthusiastic kiss landed on his cheek, chuckling a little as Patton pouted.

“But I wanna kiss you nooooowww!” Logan rolled his eyes, and turned to help Patton to his room, only to see Roman standing there with a smirk on his face. Logan’s face flushed red, and he instinctively straightened his spine, ready to verbally spar with the royal. 

“Hiiiiiiyyyaaaa Rooooman! I…I love Logy Bear an’ he loves me, but he says I can’t talk about it now an’ he won’t let me kiss him!” Patton slurred, and Logan sighed and rolled his eyes, feeling his traitorous face blush, but he held his ground.

“As I said before, we can discuss this tomorrow when you are sober, Patton.”

“An’ then I can kiss you?” Roman made a choking sound that Logan recognized as him trying not to laugh. 

“….If you wish to, we can address it at that time.” 

“Awww, this is adorable. Who knew you had a heart, Short Circuit? Do you need help getting him to his room?” Roman’s voice was surprisingly soft, and his eyes held none of their usual teasing light. Logan slowly relaxed, realizing that Princey was not about to mock them. 

“No, we should be fine. Thank you, Roman.” The royal gave him a nod of encouragement and strode away. Patton waved cheerfully after him.

“Byyyyeeee, Roooo!!! Hehehe-hic-hehehe! Logy Bear, we gon’ go to bed now?” Patton’s voice was slightly suggestive, and Logan chuckled as he gently maneuvered the moral side to his own room. 

“No, YOU are going to bed, after drinking some water.” Logan handed the tipsy side a glass of water. 

“Ooooookkkaaayyyyy! Imma drink this then!” Patton cheerfully downed the water, beaming at him and handing it back.

“Thank you, Patton.” Logan clicked his fingers, changing Patton’s clothes to soft pajamas. He tucked Patton in, stifling a laugh when the moral side snuggled happily into his bed.

“I love you, Logan.” He sighed before drifting off. Logan chuckled, then went to his own room to settle in for the night. He had a feeling the next day would be highly interesting.

The next morning, he was awakened by the sound of violent retching from the bathroom. Well, he had a feeling he knew who that was. He grabbed his glasses and made his way to their shared bathroom, not bothering to knock before walking in. Patton was on his knees, shivering and miserably leaning his head against the toilet. 

“It would appear you are awake, and suffering. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Kill me…” Patton mumbled, and Logan suppressed a laugh.

“I’m afraid I cannot do that, Patton. Do you…recall anything from last night?”

“….A little…” Patton’s voice was small, and he wouldn’t meet Logan’s gaze.

“Do you, perhaps, recall confessing that you love me? And that you find me pretty?” Logan’s eyes were twinkling with mirth, and Patton’s head shot up in alarm his face flushing fiery red. 

“Oh god, I didn’t!”

“Am I to understand that these statements were false? You were…quite insistent before.” Patton groaned, wishing he could delete the universe and himself. 

“No…I meant it. I’m just embarrassed because I meant to tell you that in a more romantic way….and when I wasn’t drunk. How awful was I?”

“You were wailing that Kelly Clarkson song at the top of your lungs.”

“Oh no…”

“It was….endearing.” Logan assured him, sitting next to him on the floor and gently running his hand through Patton’s hair.

“I am so sorry, Lo. I know you don’t feel that way about me…” Patton trailed off, holding his stomach and groaning. 

“Patton, I have no idea how you have missed that I am in love with you as well. I have been for quite some time. There will be time for soft words, and the kisses you requested, at another time. For now, you are likely to be sick again. I’ll get you some water.” Patton whimpered in distress, then turned and retched again. Logan’s face twisted in sympathy.

“Oh god….Logan….I love you, but you deserve so much more than this…” Patton gasped, having finally emptied all the contents of his stomach. Logan chuckled, running a soothingly cool hand up Patton’s back.

“Patton, when have you ever known me to prefer romance and fripperies to honesty and realism? We love each other, and that is more than enough.” 

With that, he pressed a fond kiss to Patton’s clammy forehead and went to find his sick boyfriend a glass of water. Later, he would assure an embarrassed Patton that he did indeed love him. There would be soft kisses and gentle touches, laughter and maybe a few tears gently wiped away. Even incredibly sick and slightly hungover, it was the best Christmas Eve Patton could ever remember. 

Tag List:

@angelpatton @acookiedragonblog @the-sides-of-patton @tree4life25 @penstarz96 @cefmua56 @cinquefoilelove @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @otpislife2002 @didsomeonesayprince @chemicallyimbalancedromance @pirate-patton @leesacrakon @sidewritings @a-valorous-choice @migraine-marathon @emphoenixcat @kittyboof8 @michealawithana @mdazzleyt @sanders-trash-4ever

black-rogue  asked:

Fic idea that won't leave me alone: Lance comes from a family that isn't healthy. Dad is an alcoholic. And when dad gets drunk he's emotionally abusive. So team gets back to earth and Lance is ecstatic to see his siblings and the team stays at the house for a while. But things are weird with lance and his dad, like lance is waiting for the shoe to drop. And that night the team takes siblings out, but when they come back dad is yelling at lance and he just takes it like 'Okay dad, you're right.'

Consider it done!

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!! ***hints at abuse of alcohol and verbal abuse*****
When Allura told the team they were taking some time off to visit Earth, the team were ecstatic, especially Lance. “I’m afraid we won’t be able to stay too long, so we can only visit one place and stay there. But you will all have a chance to contact your families!” Lance rushed forward, excitement filling his eyes. “We can all stay at my home in Cuba! We have a tone of extra rooms where my older siblings moved or left for college!” Allura smiled and clapped her hands together. “Alright, team, it’s decided! Coran, set a course for Cuba!” Coran saluted her and gave Lance a wink. “Right away princess!” Lance was bubbling with excitement and relief. He was so happy to see his family and for his team to meet them. *My family…oh quiznak, I didn’t think.* Lance thought, frowning. *Maybe he’s changed since I’ve been gone..* Lance was lost in thought as the stars and planets passed them by, bringing them closer to home.
When the castle touched down on the soft sand, Lance bolted out of the door, arms wide as the smile on his face. “Come on, guys!! My house is just up that hill!” The chased after Lance as he ran up the hill, sand crunching underneath their feet. As the team continued to run, the house came into their view. It was a large, wooden house that had clearly been there for years. It appeared to be quite old, but it was very homey. Lance began to run faster, making the sand fly from underneath his feet. “Maria, Lucas, Teo, Marco, Selena, Tia, mama, guys!!! I’m home!!!” The team watched with wide eyes as a small mob came stumbling out of the house. “LANCE!!” Small children ran toward Lance, sprinting madly. I small sturdy woman with skin the same color as Lance’s leap from the door, tears flowing down her face. “Oh Lance! My sweet boy! Lance, oh Lance, you’re okay!” “Mama!!” Lance cried, running to her with his arms open wide. She picked him up in a bone-crushing hug as his siblings talked him to the ground. “Lance, where have you been?” “Is your hair longer?” “Did you lose weight?” “Did you bring me any presents?” His mother laughed, eyes sparkling from unshed tears. “Children! Give your hermano a chance to catch his breath! I’m sure he will tell us why he left with no explanation.” His mom said accusingly. Allura stepped forward and cleared her throat. “I believe that part is my fault. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Allura, Princess of Altea. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Allura bowed respectfully to Lance’s mom. “Mama, since you’ve already met Allura, meet the rest of my team and friends. This is Keith, Shiro, Coran (the gorgeous man), Pidge, and Hunk!” Lance introduced, gesturing to each one. “Guys, meet my mama, Marcia.” Marcia nodded at them. “Well, let’s not just stand out here in the heat! You all must be starving! Come on inside and I’ll get you-” “Marcia, what is all that noise out there?!” Came a grumbling voice from inside the home. The team noticed as Lance turned stiff and clenched his fists as the voice interrupted. They heard staggered footsteps as a tall figure walked out of the house. The man had a full mustache and his skin was a couple of shades darker than Lance’s and his mom’s. “Who are all these people?” Marcia cleared her throat. “Diego, these are Lance’s friends. Lance has come home, isn’t that wonderful?” Lance’s dad eyes him up and down, and grumbled. “Well, come here boy. Give your dad a hug then.” The team watched as Lance stiffly walked toward the man. As Lance gave him a short hug, his nose crinkled. *He reeks of alcohol. I guess somethings just never change.* A small voice spoke up. “Mama, can we pleeeeease take Lance’s friends down to the beach? Please please please please pleas-” “TEO!! Ahem, if they wish to then go right ahead.” Teo whooped and pounded his fist in the air. “Let’s go you guys! Mama, will you come with us?” “We’ll alright, let’s head that way!” The team began to head toward the beach when Lance’s dad’s voice rang out. “Lance, you stay here with me and help clean up. You’re mother just finished dinner.” Lance looked in between his father and the others. With a sigh, he nodded. “Okay. Guys I’ll catch up with you guys later. Welcome to Varadero beach!” Lance waved at them and followed his dad into their house.
The team had separated from Lance’s family, headed back toward the house exhausted from playing in the sand and water. Allura giggled. “Lance’s family is quite large.” “And energetic!” Coran added. The rest of the team laughed along when Pidge suddenly stopped, raising a finger to her lips. “Hey guys, shh. Do you hear that?” The team crept toward the window where they could hear voices. “…leaving the family like that was disrespectful. You’ve always been disrespectful. And I hear I thought some time away would fix that.” Diego’s voice rang out, speech slurred. “You’ve done nothing for this family, but bring us down. Honestly, you’re pathetic Lance. Always have and always will.” “Of course, papa. I’m sorry.” The team looked at each other in anger and shock. “Did he just say-” “Lance doesn’t really believe that does he?” “Surely he doesn’t really think that-” “Allura, where are you doing?!” Allura ignored them, rushing her way into the house. She burst through the door, fire in her eyes. Lance jumped at the noise and turned away from the dishes he was washing. “Allura? What are you doing? Is everything oka-” “Diego, sir. I’m sorry but you are wrong.” Diego lifted an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” Allura set her jaw. “You. Are. Wrong. Lance is one of the best Paladins I have ever come to know, and his talent and bravery has saved me and our team numerous times, which means he has saved the universe multiple times. You should be proud of all the things he has accomplished. He has been nothing but respectful and he has done your family proud.” The rest of the team joined her, crossing their arms and nodding. Allura raised her chin higher. “These things you say about Lance, about my Paladin, our friend couldn’t be farther from the truth.” Lance eyes began to water as he smiled softly. “G-guys..” Keith stepped forward. “And if you have a problem with Lance or any of us, you have a problem with me.” Lance’s dad eyed them and angrily huffed. “Whatever. Lance, finish cleaning. I’m going to bed. Tell your mother.” With that, he stumbled his way upstairs. Lance sat down the wash rag and wiped away the tears from his face. “T-thank you guys. For everything. He just gets like this sometimes, so-” Shiro cut him off. “That doesn’t excuse for the things he said.” The team nodded in agreement. Lance let out a wet chuckle. “I think we need a group hug now.” The team giggled and wrapped there arms around Lance. “Without our Blue Paladin, team Voltron wouldn’t be the same. You’re the heart and soul of this team, Lance. You hold us together. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.”

lgbtq+ book recs

I have a post similar to this here, but this post is going to be my personal recommendations from books I’ve read. This isn’t all the lgbtq+ books I’ve read, just my favourite. ALL these books are ones in which the main character is lgbtq+

  1.  queens of geek by jen wilde: this is such a perfect read for fandom peoples. It follows three friends from Melbourne, Australia who attend Supacon (basically comic con) in America. The main character Charlie is a bisexual Chinese/Australian girl. There is side rep for autism, latinx representation, there is an f/f relationship where the LI is a black woman. This is #ownvoices for the bisexual and autism rep.  trigger warnings for anxiety
  2. when the moon was ours by anna marie mclemore: this is a magical realism book about a girl who can grow roses from her wrist and a boy who can paint moons and hang them in the sky. The main character Meil is latinx and the other main character Sam is a trans boy, and also Pakistani. There’s also a side lesbian character. This is ownvoices for the latinx rep, and the trans rep is heavily based off of the authors husband. trigger warnings for transphobia
  3. the abyss surrounds us by emily skrutskie: LESBIAN PIRATES + SEA MONSTERS. This is sff with an f/f relationship and it’s so good. The main character is bi and also of Chinese descent, and her LI is a lesbian. There’s also a strong black woman as a side character, and it’s #ownvoices for the bisexual rep. 
  4. we are the ants by shaun david hutchinson: it’s about a boy who gets abducted by aliens - the aliens have told him on a certain date that the world will end unless he presses a red button on their spaceship, but the mc isn’t sure the world is worth saving. m/m relationship, the mc is gay and also mentally ill and his love interest is pansexual and latinx. Trigger warnings for rape and sexual assault, suicide. #Ownvoices for the gay and mental illness rep. I also highly rec SDH other books, the five stages of andrew brawley and especially at the edge of the universe. 
  5. simon vs the homo sapiens agenda by becky albertalli: this is about a boy called Simon who secretly messages a boy who anonymously goes by the name Blue at his school through email. When a classmate gets a hold of the emails, Simon gets blackmailed eventually leading to him meeting Blue. This isn’t OV but the rep is generally well liked, for example it’s Adam Silvera’s favourite book. trigger warnings for: forceful outing, alcohol use/getting drunk. There is a moving coming out in March of 2018!
  6. aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz: literally my favourite book, about a boy called Aristotle who becomes best friends with another boy called Dante. m/m relationship, both gay and mexican and the rep is all #ownvoices. trigger warnings for homophobia, physical assault
  7. radio silence by alice oseman: a girl called Frances randomly meets Aled, the creator of her favourite podcast, and becomes best friends with him. Frances is bisexual and biracial (Ethiopian/White) and there’s a discussed f/f relationship, as well as an m/m relationship. Aled is demisexual, and his love interest Dan is South Korean and gay. The demisexual rep is #ownvoices. 
  8. history is all you left me by adam silvera: a boy named Griffin must deal with the death of his ex boyfriend, and while doing so befriends Theo’s new boyfriend Jackson. Griffin is gay and has OCD while Theo is bisexual. The gay and OCD representation is #ownvoices. This book is so sad so be warned. trigger warnings for drowning, OCD and anxiety, some biphobia is not called out as well. I also highly recommend they both die at the end by adam silvera
  9. dreadnought by April Daniels: sff where a trans girl named Danny see’s a powerful superhero die, and ends up absorbing his powers as well as having her body transformed into her ideal body. Side rep for a black lesbian girl. This is #ownvoices for the trans rep, but beware there is some pretty harsh transphobia (called out but fyi), as well as a real TERFy character. tw: transphobia, parental abuse
  10. the long way to a small, angry planet by becky chambers: this is science fiction that follows a group of people who are travelling across space. the mc is a lesbian, and there’s an f/f relationship. this world is absolutely amazing I love it. 
I Give Up - part 27 (A Baekhyun Series)

You were putting on mascara when your phone buzzed, letting you know of an incoming text. It was probably one of the friends who were meeting up later at the small bar near campus. You swiped when you recognized Minah’s name, your best friend who you had invited along. Your exams and being so busy with your boyfriend had made you neglect your best friend lately and you made her promise to join tonight.

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any fic recommendations?

o u know i do

when the house falls down by sowell, 44k

this fic killed me. rly sad, real happy ending. the premise being sasuke getting thru his head to maybe not kill everyone in konoha. both naruto and sasuke could stand to use the word ‘love’ more and their fists less but what else is new. some violent sex scenes, be warned. big focus on death so, b careful. some issues w delusions. anyway have fun

in good company by weialala, 198k

THIS fic is incredible, changed me as a person, fantastic. i still havent. finished it bc i read it while it was updating but its so good itd b a disservice to not include it. very, VERY sasuke-centric, narusasu is important but not like, the main part. lots of interesting world-building. also, the hokages are ghosts and annoy sasuke a lot, what’s not to like. trigger warnings for drugs and alcohol use, a minor having sex with some sex workers when he probably shouldn’t, etc.

the spaces between us by stripeypirate, 39k, in-progress

an ABSOLUTE fave. updates semi-regularly so dont worry too much abt that. au fanfic set in the pacific northwest in the 1980s. saku/ino and naru/sasu. the setting is so charming honestly and it’s done really cleverly. huge trigger warnings for homophobia and homophobic violence, realistic depictions of gay crises. if its safe for u to read it, pls so do so, i lov it

from the corner of your eye by tolkienbs, 6k, in-progress

narusasu fic where the premise is sasuke thinking the accidental kiss was on purpose. this changes his perspective and the series of events of canon. it’s so good and done so well. i really hope it keeps updating bc its so charming and sweet

sleepless by kinomiakai, 3k

very sweet and emotional fic about naruto and sasuke post-sasuke’s return to konoha. if you love “cuddling and sharing the bed” tropes this is good

cultivate your hunger  by dawnstruck, 8k

post-canon fix-it, sort of. really angsty criticism of the ending, so be ready to be sad. it’s a nice way to cope with problems with the ending though, haha. i read this one ages ago tho so idr  what trigger warnings it needs.

i also write fic but im shitty at updating so. proceed w caution ig lmao

★*゚‘゚・American Psycho (2000)

trigger warnings may apply: death, murder, drugs, sex, alcohol

❝ God, I hate this place. ❞
❝ They don’t have a good bathroom to do coke in. ❞
❝ I don’t need to hear this story again. ❞
❝ I’m not sure, guy, but I don’t think dyslexia is a virus. ❞ 
❝ I want to get high off this; ______, not sprinkle it on my fucking All-Bran. ❞
❝ Could you keep it down, I’m trying to do drugs! ❞
❝ My conscience, my pity, my hopes disappeared a long time ago, if they ever did exist. ❞
❝ You look nice today. ❞
❝ I don’t want to talk about it.  ❞
❝ I want to fit in. ❞
❝ I have to talk to you. ❞
❝ If you don’t shut your fucking mouth I will kill you, are you understanding me? ❞ 
❝ This is crazy. You’re a fool. I can’t cope with this. ❞ 
❝ Listen, what are you doing tonight? ❞
❝ You should come have dinner with me. ❞
❝ Pumpkin you’re dating an asshole. ❞
❝ Is that Donald Trump’s car? ❞
❝ How’d a nitwit like you get so tasteful? ❞
❝ You want some money? Some…food? ❞
❝ Do you know how bad you smell? The stench, my God. ❞
❝ You like Huey Lewis and the News? ❞
❝ Why are there copies of the Style section all over the place? Do you have a dog? A chow or something? ❞
❝ Jesus lives, ______. ❞ 
❝ Singapore? London. I’ll send the asshole to London. ❞
❝ I’ll call you when I get back. Hasta la vista, baby. ❞
❝ You’re not with the FBI or anything, are you? ❞
❝ Was he involved at all , do you think, in occultism or Satan worship? ❞
❝ People just…disappear. ❞
❝ I haven’t seen you around here. ❞
❝ Actually, that’s none of your business. ❞
❝ I don’t want you to get drunk, but that’s a very fine Chardonnay you’re not drinking. ❞
❝ If they have a good personality and they are not great looking-who fucking cares? ❞
❝ Is this tap water? I don’t drink tap water Bring me an Evian or something, okay? ❞
❝ I never knew you smoked. ❞
❝ I’m into, well, murders and executions mostly. ❞
❝ No, you dumb son of a bitch. I’m serious. I’m disappearing. ❞  
❝ Goodbye! Fuckheads! ❞
❝ You think I’m dumb, don’t you? ❞
❝ I’m on a diet. But thank you. ❞
❝ Do you have a boyfriend? ❞
❝ If you stay, I think something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don’t want to get hurt, do you? ❞
❝ I’m not so sure about this. I had to go to Emergency after last time… ❞
❝ This is nicer than your other apartment. ❞
❝ Did you know that guy who disappeared? ❞  
❝ Are you telling me you’ve never gotten it on with a girl? ❞
❝ You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You actually have a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?❞
❝ I’m fucking serious. It’s fucking over. Us. This is no joke. I don’t think we should see each other anymore. ❞
❝ I think you should know-I’ve killed a lot of people. ❞
❝ I don’t want to leave anything out here…I guess I’ve killed 20 people, maybe 40. ❞
❝ Tonight I just, well, I had to kill a lot of people and I’m not sure I ’m going to get away with it this time. ❞
❝ I mean, to think that one of his friends killed him, for no reason whatsoever would be too ridiculous. ❞
❝ Stop sounding so Fucking sad! Jesus! ❞  
❝ Wait. Stop. You don’t seem to understand. You’re not really comprehending any of this. I killed him. I did it. ❞
❝ I just don’t see how someone, anyone, can appear that way and yet be involved in such total shit. How can you be so fucking, I don’t know, cool about it? ❞
❝ Whose moronic idea was it to drink dry beers? I need a Scotch. ❞
❝ My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no escape. ❞               

Overdose // Chapter One

Originally posted by sugutie


Series w Alternate Ending
Park Chanyeol x Reader x Kim Jongin
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut
Rated: M
Summary: Addiction. It’s something that you can’t completely get rid of, it’s an every day battle. As someone with an addictive personality, you find that you are easily addicted to things that are harmful to you but they give you a rush unlike any other. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Pleasure and Pain. You manage to come clean and learn healthy ways to cope through music; dancing and singing soon become your addiction - until you find yourself hooked on two boys who are also addicted to you.
Warnings: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS: Mentions of self-harm. Mentions of alcohol, drug and sex addictions. Violence. Rough sex. Swearing
Word Count: 4.4k

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Moodboard

“Where’s Minseok?” Jongin lazily hangs his arm over his girl’s shoulder, as they settle on the couch while the rest of the group shake their head at him.

He doesn’t mind that they call them his ‘flavour of the week’ girls, even the girls he’s with know that the relationship isn’t permanent.

“Minseok had work so he’s running a bit late.” Jongin nods his head while his girl wraps her arms around his neck, vying for his attention because she knows that come the end of the weekend, he most likely won’t look at her again. “But before we go to the party, did you guys see the new girl in class? The weird one.”

“Baekhyun!” Junmyeon reprimands the younger male, even though he slightly agrees but being the leader of the group, he needs to set an example.

“What!?” The faded red haired boy whined. “It’s true, she never spoke, never even looked at anyone and when we had to split into pairs, she stood off in the corner doing her own thing.”

“Maybe she’s shy?” Jongdae propped up on his elbows on the floor of the dorm living area, looking up at his friends with a gentle smile on his face. “She’s new plus I don’t think she’s from around here.” Jongin keeps quiet while his girl nibbles on his ear, his hand absentmindedly drawing circles on the inside of her spread thighs.

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Family Troubles (Jughead X Reader)

Summary- The reader has family issues just like Jughead. When Jughead finds out he is mad that he didn’t know sooner. (Based when jughead lived in the Drive In.)

Warnings- angst, kissing, crying, alcohol, maybe triggering??

Requested- Yes! by @bvreathe

A/N- My fist real requested imagine! Also, I’m like really busy with school and stuff so ya don’t expect your requested stuff to be on time lol. ALSO my ear hurts rlly bad rn so ya. Anyways… enjoy!

“Leave me alone!” You yelled at your mom as she came closer to you.

“Just give me the money, Y/N!”She screamed back.

You had a little bundle of money in your hands that you had earned from working shifts at Pop’s. It was rightfully yours and your mom was trying to take to buy god knows what. 

“No! It’s mine!” You yelled stuffing it in your pocket.  

Your mother looked at you with cold eyes, like you were the worst person on the entire planet.

She suddenly reached out and tried to take the money from your pocket. 

“Stop!” You screeched and stumbled back.

“Y/N. I swear to God. Give me that money. NOW!” You mom reached for the money again but you leaped back, colliding with the couch and falling into it. 

“Get a job if you want money so bad!” You yelled as you dodged your way out of another one of your mom’s attacks. 

You mother suddenly pinned you down on the couch. You looked into her eyes with fear as she grabbed an empty beer can from the floor and held it over your head as if to hit you with it.

“Give. Me. The. Money.” She said quietly as you quickly grabbed your money out of your pocket and handed to her. 

She let you go and put the money in her pocket. 

“Now get out. You’re such a pain. And take your brother too… I’m sick of his crying.” She said as she plopped on the couch, opening a bottle of hard liquor and turning on the T.V. 

“W-what?” You stuttered, tears welling up in your eyes. 

Your mom had never kicked you out before. Where were you going to go?

“Am I speaking Chinese?” she exclaimed, “Get. Out. I’m sick of you right now.”

Tears began to run down your cheeks.

“Where am I gonna go?” You asked quietly. 

You mom looked at you and shrugged, “Don’t know… Maybe you can find your father and tell I’m to get back here already.” 

You gulped and ran for your room. 

You swung open the door and quickly ran to your dresser. You stuffed everything you could into the bag and then went into the bathroom and grabbed your toiletry stuff. 

Once you had finished packing, you went over to the small bed beside yours.    A small boy that had all of your features lay sleeping in it. He was four. You quickly waked him.

“Wake up, John… We gotta go.” You picked him up out of bed and set him on the ground. 

“Wha?” He rubbed his eyes. 

“Get some clothes and put them in this bag.” You handed him a bad and he did what you said. 

“Now, Get on your coat. It’s cold.” 

Once he did so you both headed out. The living room was silent except for the T.V., which was playing a cop show. Your mom was asleep on the couch, the liquor bottle still in her hand. You sighed a long and sad sigh.

Your mother was a good person at heart. She really was. But, ever since your dad left, 2 years ago, she had turned completely different. She turned to alcohol to make her feel better. She lost her job. She went spilling downward. And she took me and my brother with her. 

As the hour neared mid-night, it was cold. the wind rustled the tree branches as you walked with your little brother down the streets of Riverdale. You didn’t know where to go. There was nowhere to go. You couldn’t let your friends know about this… They already had their own troubles. 

Maybe we can rent a hotel… you thought. But then you remembered: your mom took your only money. 

“Y/N, I’m tired.” Came a whiney voice from John.

You looked down at the sleepy boy. He sucked his thumb and rubbed his eyes.

You had to find a place for you to stay. 

Then you saw it: The Drive In.

It was dark and no one would be there this late at night.

“Come one, John just a little further.” You said and pulled him along.

You neared The Drive In and quickly helped your brother through a tight entrance in the gate. You did the same. 

You neared the little building where they projected the movies. You would sleep there tonight. 

As you fumbled with the locked door handle you neared a noise from inside.

maybe its just some rats… you thought to yourself. 


A huge crash came from inside.

you gasped. That was not a rat. 

You quickly grabbed John and hid on the other side of the building. 


the door had opened. 

Holding your breathe, you cupped a hand over your brother’s mouth for him to stay quite.

“Hello?” A voice came from around the bend. 

It sounded familiar. Very familiar. 

“Jughead?” You exclaimed and looked around the bend.

“AHHHHH!” A scream escaped the mouth of the tall and thin teenage boy that you looked at. 

His dark hair under a beanie and he wore dark clothes, it was your boyfriend Jughead. 

“Calm down! It’s just me!” You exclaimed, touching his arm. 

“Oh my god! What are you doing here, Y/N?” Jughead asked, looking around.

You shifted uncomfortably. 

But wait. What was he doing here?

“Wait a minute… What are you doing here?” You said pointing at him.

He sighed and took your hand leading you inside. 

“Wait!” you said, “My brother.” 

You grabbed your brothers arm and took him inside with you. 

“Oh my god Jug! I can’t believe that. I’m so sorry.” You said in a whisper as your brother lay sleeping in a sleeping bag. 

You were sitting in the projector room of The Drive In. Jughead had just told you his story, he was homeless and lived here.

“It’s ok. It’s not your fault.” He replied.

You looked at your brother and sighed of relief. He was safe and so were you.

“Ok, now to answer my question… What are you doing here?” He asked, eyeing you.

You look at him seriously. 

“I got kicked out.” You say, a lump in your throat forming.

“What? Why?” He asks. He looked so concerned for you, so caring.

“I got money, for working a few shifts at Pop’s. I was going to use it to buy some good snacks for John and maybe some new school books for myself.” You say, “But my mom took it. She takes all the money I ever get… Birthday money, working money…. I know it sounds stupid but I need that money. She never buys me and John good clothes or good food or hardly anything. I have no money to actually go do fun things. Like get ice cream or go to the movies. All I wanted was to keep some money. But she took it, to buy…Who knows what. She doesn’t always hurt me or John… Only sometimes. When she’s really mad or wasted. Im just glad she kicked us out instead of hurting us again.”

A hot tear runs down your cheek as you finished your last sentence.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He asks, a bit of anger in his voice.

But you could tell, he wasn’t mad at you, he was mad at himself for not knowing sooner.

“Im sorry. It was my own problem and I didn’t want to drag anyone into it.” You say.

“I’m so stupid. I should have known. I should have guessed. I should have looked at signs.” He began to say to himself, angrily. 

“No, Juggie. Don’t bring yourself down for this. It’s not your fault. It’s no ones fault I’m in this situation.” You tell him.

“I could have kept you safe, Y/N. And I didn’t.” Jughead stated, looking deep into your eyes. 

“Jug. There is no use fretting about it now. It’s over for now. Don’t beat yourself up for this. It will only make me feel worse.” You whispered and smiled. 

Jughead nodded and then took you in his arms. Wrapping his long arms around you and pulling you in close to his warm body. 

“I’m sorry Y/N. You can stay as long as you need.” He says into your hair. 

He hugged you tightly before letting go and kissing you on the top of the head. 

“Thank you Jughead.”

The Bet - Logan Howlett x Reader

<b>AN: This was a request for a good, sinful friend, who waited ever so patiently for me to build muse (by watching all of the X-Men films without any pants on), and for that I am so grateful! My apologies for its inherent shite-ness, and I do hope you enjoy. It’s not set at any particular point during the cannon story line, so feel free to plop yourself at whatever point you like! Part 2 will be up as soon as I’m done dousing myself in holy water.</b>

<b>Trigger warnings: Swearing, alcohol, mentions of sexy-time, talk of dong, mention of orgasmos, talk of viagra, talk of domination, mentions of rough sex, mentions of gambling.</b>

There is no doubt; extremely stressful days at the office call for equally extreme sessions at the bar.
“What’s the cheapest drink I can get with the highest alcohol content?“ You ask flatly too exhausted to register even the slightest bit of embarrassment as the man next to you guffaws into his own glass upon overhearing your request. Ignoring him, you instead focus on the server’s bemused expression, maintaining your stone-cold facade.
"One shot of tequila coming up.” He mutters, his fascination with you evident in his searching gaze. You don’t blame him. Relatively young and formally dressed, you’re far different from his usual clientele, which seem to all be older, dark, brooding hobo types.

"Make it two.“ You shoot back as you shrug off your jacket, trying to maintain your calm, casual demeanor as the oppressiveness of the grimy dive bar hits you for the first time. You take a quick look around as you settle onto your bar-stool, your legs dangling above the floor, a telltale sign that you’re barely old enough to be there. The place is almost pitch black, the air is thick with smoke. You still manage to make out the silhouettes of numerous hunched figures, and most clear to you is the man beside you, illuminated by a dim lamp above his head.

Your attention is drawn back to the bar as your drinks are poured hastily before you. You wrinkle your nose as the putrid smell of tequila hits your nostrils, but still you manage to slide a ten dollar bill across the counter gratefully. Beginning your pre-shot ritual of deep breaths and erratic hand movements, you brace yourself for the wonderfully toxic experience to come. You grasp one glass firmly in your fist, your eyes wide in anticipation, and you swear that you can feel your liver quiver in fear as yo-

"I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” You stop, turning to the source of the interruption. The man beside you. Taking a drag from his cigar, he continues.

"Not two at once. You’re tiny. I don’t wanna have you pukin’ all over me.“
Despite your annoyance at his patronising sentiments, you find yourself melting into a puddle in your seat. It’s only now that you’ve noticed his eyes, his sculpted jawline subtly masked by a dark, unusually trimmed beard. Not only is he ridiculously ruggedly handsome, but he’s older too, something that piques your interest far more than you’d like to admit.

Needless to say, you’re at a loss for words and instead you do what any sane girl would do in order to remain composed in such a situation. You quickly down both shots, forgetting the lemon and salt completely, before slamming the empty glasses triumphantly on the counter. You hear a sharp intake of breath beside you.

"I’ll get the mop.” mutters this mysterious brooding lumberjack, as he takes a swig from his own drink.

"I promise you, that won’t be necessary.” you manage to retort as you feel the alcohol hit your system with a satisfying shudder.
"f it comes to that, I’ll aim for that asshole who tried to smack my ass when I walked in.“ He smiles at this, and you congratulate yourself- he doesn’t strike you as the kind who does this often.
"Young female ass is quite the novelty in here, that was probably the most action the old fuck has had in 20 years.” You laugh out loud at this, throwing your head back and swaying dangerously on your bar-stool, consciously allowing your skirt to ride up your thighs ever so slightly.
"And this conversation is what - the most action you’ve had in about 5?“ You reply with a smirk, your gaze falling to his hands, one clutching his glass, the other, his cigar. Fuck, even his hands are attractive. Thick and coarse looking, you begin to imagine how they feel ghosting over bare skin…
"Mhmm, you got it bub, I’m semi hard just talking to you.” He grins back at you, his voice heavy with sarcasm. You notice his gaze shamelessly wandering down your body, pausing ever so slightly over your thighs. You watch him study you and smile to yourself. This was not the kind of situation you had expected walking in here, but you were more than happy with how this was going.

"Hard from small talk, eh?” You raise your eyebrows. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just be thankful you’re not on Viagra.”
He chuckles darkly and meets your eyes for the first time.
“Fuck, you’re cruel.” he mumbles, searching your gaze. You laugh softly and lean close enough to him to whisper.
“So how long do you last eh? 30-40 seconds?”
“On the contrary sweetheart, I reckon you wouldn’t last half as long as I would. Not with me.” He takes another swig.
“Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that.” you sigh, fiddling with one of your empty shot glasses.
“Can’t tell you how many times I’ve dealt with brats like you, bub.” he grunts.
“Look, I’m just sayin’, 3 minutes of grunting in the dark and disappointment may be your cup of tea, but it certainly ain’t mine, bub.” You attempt an imitation of his accent on the last word, but it fails to impress. Despite you broaching the topic in good humour, you can tell that you are genuinely pissing him off, his eyes are dark and his jaw clenched - and fuck, do you like the look of him when he’s angry. You let out a small giggle, as you continued to stare each other down.
"You’re so sure of yourself! What your secret, giving yourself whiskey-dick with that drink?“ you ask, batting your lashes at him, a part of you genuinely curious. He stubs out his cigar in a nearby ashtray and leans further towards you, his body looming over yours threateningly.
“Your kind are all the same, all bark and no bite.” The competitive edge to his voice stirs something in you, and you ghost your lips across his jawline.
His voice is a grunt now, frustration edging into his face and voice slowly but surely. He seems to be used to getting his way, and you’re sure as hell not going to give it to him.
“A bet then.” You decide, straightening up. “10 bucks says I can make you cum before I do.”
“I’m not interested in money.” He’s growling now, and his eyes still haven’t left yours. “You cum first, and I get to do as I please, for as long as I please.”
You feel yourself shudder, and a small part of you wonders if you’re way in over your head. Still, you are confident ; you have biology on your side.And worst comes to the worst, you get a good fucking… everybody wins! Still, you can’t help but feel somewhat terrified.
“Fine.” you manage. “And if I win?”
“That won’t happen sweetheart, I can assure you.” he smiles again, and this time it’s full of menace.
You pause, taking in a shaky breath.
“Alright, its a bet.” you chirp, feigning confidence, holding out your hand for a shake.
“Its a bet.” He snarls, grabbing your hand and pulling you in for a rough kiss on the cheek.

Daphne Blake Syndrome.

Trigger Warning: Alcoholism + Domestic Abuse + Violence
This will contain spoilers for the movie so you’ve been warned

Leigh’s House

“Did the boys say when they were getting here?” (Y/N) questioned Kimberly as she watched her press the ‘end call’ button on her phone and placing it down on the coffee table in front of the television. “Jason said they’re on their way, Zack wanted to stop for a couple of new books” Both girls looked at each other for a minute and burst into laughter knowing her boyfriend was in fact lying through his teeth. “So, they’re getting take-out and not willing to share.” Leigh concluded while rummaging through the kitchen cabinets for the container of instant coffee.

“Oh absolutely. We’ll be lucky to get the leftovers.” Kimberly called to her stilling giggling as she let herself flop onto Leigh’s maroon leather couch that looked like it could fall apart in a matter of seconds.

“What about Trini? She coming tonight? I managed to pick up her favourite ice-cream this morning.” Leigh asked as she shifted around the large selection of mugs, mostly ones that had yet to be cleaned since her mother didn’t bother to do it, she was too busy drinking straight from the bottle. “Oh, Trini won’t be here, said something about her mother dragging her to a family bowling night.” Kimberly answered picking up the television remote and attempting to turn it on with no avail.

Keep reading

fifteen days;

Originally posted by tahyns

“It was like he wasn’t there anymore.”
Member: Suga (bts)
Genre: Angst/fluff
Word count: 4414
Trigger warning: Implied mental illness, mentions of alcohol
A/N: Do I have 29 requests in my ask? Yes. Are six of them sitting in my WIPs folder? Also yes. But I found this piece of old writing from almost two years ago and it really inspired me and I really really wanted to rewrite it and post it for you guys,, originally I wrote this with another person in mind and it was named after a sleeping at last lyric lol but I changed it to this!!

It was 12:27 a.m. on what officially became day fifteen. The worry spread through the tips of your toes and down your arms, making the hairs stand on end and your fingers feel like live wire was running through each of them. The feeling travelled and flooded up into your face, making your forehead crease in frustration. Normally, he would be there to kiss the crease away, but he was gone still, and that meant that the feeling of worry lay heavier on your shoulders and your head threatened to spin from the weight of it. Sinking down on the couch and running your hands through your hair, you listened to the rain pattering against the windows, an occasional boom of thunder or clap of lightning making the dully lit and near-silent room a bit more animated. For the most part, however, it was just you, alone for what felt like the hundredth time the past year and a half. 

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Drunk on You (Zach Dempsey x Fem!Reader)

Originally posted by joeck

*not my gif* WOW I WROTE TWO ZACH FICS IN THE SPAN OF 24 HOURS HUH? I’m so sorry to the people waiting on Hamilsquad fics, my muse is just out of reach for the requests and I’m trying to get it back as fast as I can. In the mean time, I really hope you guys enjoy this fic. I would marry Zach Dempsey in a heartbeat, and I hope I captured him enough here. 

This fic is rated SFW! (THIS IS LIKE 80% FLUFF Y’ALL)

Trigger Warnings: Alcohol/Being drunk/Cursing/Arguing/Divorce mention

Reader, fed up with her parents arguing, gets drunk to try and forget her problems instead of going to her boyfriend. When Zach finds out, he goes to Reader’s house to confront her. Fluff ensues. 


You’d come home from the library that night to find your parents fighting, again. Per usual, your mother was accusing your father of cheating based on flimsy evidence. You father was calling her psychotic for accusing him of something like that.

Keep reading


A/N: I completely forgot about this. It was originally written for a friend of mine a while ago… and I mean like a while ago, around 3 years ago. Changed it recently into a Daniel drabble since I found it laying around my old drafts and I had nothing to do with it. 

trigger warning: mention of alcohol, drugs and mature content.

Your mouth gasped for air as his large hands removed a couple strands of hair from your face which was now covered in sweat.

“Dreams again?” he questioned with a concerned look.

You nodded and hugged him, closing your eyes for a second.

“I think I know what could help.” Daniel whispered and blew some hot air on the side of your neck before gently biting it.

“You think?” you asked smiling.

“I’m sure of it.” He said kissing down your neck and up to your shoulder.

He pulled one of the black straps of your bra which made a snapping noise and you playfully hit his arm mouthing an “asshole”, but retreated when Daniel started kissing the same side of your neck where last night between the glasses of alcohol, raw kisses and some puffs, he left a love mark.

Tonight was the same, both of you laying on his king-sized bed, him lighting up a joint as you inhaled the smoke and poured another glass of vodka. For the last few weeks, you have been both running in a circle made out of the always forgotten buds left next to his bed and empty bottles of alcohol left on his stained carpet.

But Daniel doesn’t care, all he cares about is the way your lips curve in a smile whenever you hand him another cigarette, how you’re always biting and licking your lower lip whenever he plays that one song you both love so much cause you know it will always lead to something else.

He now removed both your straps and threw the black bra away along with his white shirt. He cupped your breasts and sucked on the already red area on your neck. You moaned quietly and he turned you around; you were face to face with Daniel - the lone-wolf in your class who has been turning your world upside down for the last three months. You could barely flash him a shy smile before he kissed you hungrily, leaving even more love marks all over your delicate skin. 

Soon every item of clothing was scattered around the room and Daniel took the opportunity to stop for a second and admire your small frame underneath him. He kissed your closed eyelids; gently this time. 

“I want you so much it hurts.” He whispered and entered her tight heat without a warning.

You gasped and dug your nails on the white skin of his shoulders leaving a couple of crimson marks behind.

“I need you. I really do. I need you so much it drives me crazy.” He repeated the words over and over again as he continued his motions and hit your core a little harder each time.

The air filled with your purrs and Daniel’s sweet nothings he continuously repeated in your ear with a smile spread on his face. 

You kissed him longingly and he bite your lower lip still smiling. Your lips were captured in another hot and steamy kiss as he entered inside you one last time, leaving both of you breathless.

Daniel was on top of you placing butterfly kisses over the large, red marks he left on your neck not too long ago. He placed his head on your chest and intertwined your fingers admiring the way your hand fit in his just right. As if they were meant to be. 

“I hope we can stay like this forever. I only need you and nothing else.” He whispered kissing your palm.

Overdose // Chapter Two

Originally posted by kyungsookillsme


Series w Alternate Ending
Park Chanyeol x Reader x Kim Jongin
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut
Rated: M
Summary: Addiction. It’s something that you can’t completely get rid of, it’s an every day battle. As someone with an addictive personality, you find that you are easily addicted to things that are harmful to you but they give you a rush unlike any other. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Pleasure and Pain. You manage to come clean and learn healthy ways to cope through music; dancing and singing soon become your addiction - until you find yourself hooked on two boys who are also addicted to you.
Warnings: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS: Mentions of self-harm. Mentions of alcohol, drug and sex addictions. Violence. Rough sex. Swearing
Word Count: 3.5k

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Moodboard

A month seems to fly past and you allow yourself to live within the illusion of bliss, believing that your life is deserving of happiness as you spend your days breaking down the walls that surround you and let this blossoming new friendship with a tall, bright eyed gentleman to flourish.

Like a flower in the spring, enjoying the rays that the sun shines upon it.

Your mother and doctor recognise a healthy change in direction with your behaviour, no longer were you ringing to convince them that you weren’t coping but instead you are calling to tell your mother about your days with your new friends – with the exclusion of one person. Your confidence and participation in classes were growing and the teachers were thoroughly impressed with your skills and raw talent.

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Memento Mori

Pairing: Avengers x Reader

Word Count: 2100

Warnings: Trigger Warning. Death, alcohol and smoking are mentioned.

(A/N): Not dead yet, just busy.

Summary: ´Remember that you must die’- it’s funny enough that you tend to be the only one to forget that.

Originally posted by messedandfucked

Buried deep within there’s a human

The first time you meet them they’re fighting aliens in New York.

Tony’s timer is the first to reach zero- followed by hundreds of thousands of others- right when he reaches the nuclear weapon and soars skywards.

It’s not right- you remember thinking and then- this one deserves more time. And then you’re twisting the fragile hands of his clock back and he comes crashing down to earth, lifeless and cold for but seconds before breath fills his lungs once more.

Looking back at it, this is where you made your first mistake. Not that you could have known- you’ve granted precious minutes of life to millions of men, woman and those unwilling to specify before, and none of them lived longer than the time granted to them by you.

No one but him. His timer revved back to life in mere fragments of milliseconds, the hands speeding to match his teammates’.

Conducting their very first- and undoubtedly grandest- middle finger to you.

4 years 8 months 3 weeks 6 days 3 hours

“Careful, Rogers, might burn yourself”

He sends a grateful smile your way and pushes the pot of boiling hot coffee back some.

That was your second mistake, as it turned out. Because he was still learning, had his back turned to the steps and control panels as he handed out cups of coffee to SHIELD personal.

He would have tripped. He would have poured it all over the sensitive tech. They would have died. You messed up. Again. You sigh.

4 years 2 months 7 days 6 hours 29 minutes

Their timers skip in daily intervals- sometimes hourly- and it’s getting incredibly hard to ignore how close Bucky’s metal hand comes to crushing Natasha’s skull as they spar or how the tip of Clint’s arrow needed to land barely even an inch further to the left to appear in Bruce’s peripheral vision, scaring him, awaking the Hulk who’d in return smash the chemicals all over the lab, killing them all.

They defy death every day by what you´re sure is stupid luck alone and you tell yourself that it´s driving you completely and utterly mad.

It´s true for a little while, maybe. It´s true that all you desire at first is to collect their souls and move on with your existence. It´s true that their timers are as unique as they are maddening to you.

But at one point it becomes nothing but a lie. You crave their presence, it´s an unsettling feeling inside the pit of your stomach, but you’re powerless against it. Closeness for its own sake is a new desire to you, having spent your entire existence void of anything other than the thrive to fulfill your duty, and it´s equal parts thrilling and disconcerting.

You’re not supposed to feel this way- you’re not supposed to feel at all- and you know it’s impossible, but there´s pain from right beneath your breastbone at the force of your dread as you watch their timers count down.

And suddenly you feel a surge of damnable empathy with every last goddamn one of them. And it´s wrong- you think- damned humans shouldn’t be able to make me feel this way. And then- this is going to hurt when it´s over.

Because you have duties to fulfill. Because you´re playing with matters by far larger than yourself.

It urges you to close your eyes, to think of thinks you know to be true.

You’re not evil.

You’ve never been. To be evil one needs to believe in such things as right and wrong, and you are nothing if not abundantly clear on your opinion of such labels.

3 years 2 months 6 days 3 hours 24 seconds

Tony’s call comes through when you, Natasha and Peter are returning to the tower from a satisfying shooting practice at the outskirts of New York. A group of armed men that robbed a jewellery store were running from authorities.

You are in the neighbourhood and Peter is all too excited to help, so you give chase, eventually leaving the car behind to follow on foot when the suspects rush into a building.

It had seemed harmless at the time and, of course, Peter hadn’t listened to Natasha’s demand that he’d stay in the car. You shrugged indifferently, and she rolled her eyes then, but didn’t protest much otherwise, allowing the boy to follow the two of you inside.

1 year 28 days 4 hours 11 seconds

You cornered them eventually, the suspects. Had them backed against the wall, two of them barely older than Peter, not quite eighteen, threatening you with weapons they could hardly hold the right way. You haven’t even pulled out your own guns, both Natasha and Peter attempting to reason with them.

Neither of you saw the other two from behind a pile of rubbish.

2 days 6 hours 3 seconds

Two shots and Peter was down, Natasha catching him out of reflex.

Nothing made much sense then. Nothing. Just the terror.

Hers, not yours, right when you caught her arm and told her they weren’t worth the chase. It was right there in her eyes, clear as day for you to see, seeping past the thick veil of wrath as Peter’s blood continued to pour.

His timer zeroed in a matter of bare seconds then, a sudden skip that you couldn´t have predicted even if you had tried to. His soul already standing mournfully over his soon to be rotting flesh.

“If you let them get away- after this- I will never forgive you.”

His words are slurred, angry- the shock hardly registering as he rests his hand over his chest, right where the bullets made impact. And you still don´t know whether the words you utter next are meant to reassure him or soothe you.

“They’re as good as dead already”

0 days 0 hours 0 seconds

Samuel D. Franklin Cooper, Nathaniel Morgan, Christopher Perrone and Rafael Jones Jr., of Staten Island, were discovered dead after being found guilty in a series of apparently random attacks, that had shopkeepers and New York citizens on edge for months. According to the police, Nathaniel Morgan, the alleged leader of the group, got in a dispute with his partners, leading to a shootout that cost the men their lives.

“How did you know?”

You lower the volume and turn to cast her a glance.

“Know what?”

“That they would kill themselves.”

“I didn’t.”

You’re not a punisher.

You’ve never been. To be a punisher one needs the jurisdiction over such matters, thrive and an understanding of right and wrong beyond the worthless labels mankind created to either validate or restrict certain behaviour.

2 hours 22 seconds

The universe is mostly darkness.

It´s easy enough to forget so much when you look at the sky at night. Having existed for almost as long as time itself you distinctly remember a time where it wasn’t as clouded though.

It used to be as beautiful as his eyes, clear and bright and so full of unadulterated life and promise- now turned into a foggy shade of blue.

His name has been on your list for a while now, changing positions from time to time with a few sooner departing, before remaining rooted in place at last.

“That´s it, isn´t it? The end of the line?”

You offer him a nod, then a soft “I´m sorry”

He merely laughs mirthlessly, and something breaks inside of you right then and there.

12 minutes

“Am I going to hell?” and then a questioning “Is there even such a thing as hell?”

The flippant tone of voice clings to his tongue like his blood does to your hands, and you can tell that at this point he couldn’t care less for an answer.

“Does it matter?”

He´s silent and you let the foreign exhaustion wash over you as you slide down the wall and light a cigarette, taking a long drag before passing it on to him.

“Should it?”

“You tell me”

He doesn’t. His timer falls to zero, his soul stepping out of his body in one graceful stride.

“´Till the end of the line, huh?” he turns, then adds a wistful “Tell Bucky not to hurry.”

He´s long gone by the time you nod, the apologies on your lips remaining unsaid as you stand again.

The universe is mostly darkness.

It´s easy to remember so much when you can no longer look skywards. Having existed for almost as long as time itself, you distinctly remember his eyes to be one of the few truly pure things in this cold and rotting world.

You won´t bother to remember him. Not like this.

With his eyes half open and dark, the lit cigarette burning away slowly as it hangs limply between his lips.

You´re not loved.

You´ve never been. To be loved one needs to give, instead of taking.

2 minutes 17 seconds

After a certain point one stops feeling the pain, be it physical or psychological.

It´s simple enough to remember when his pained, choked sobs cease to exist.

“For what it´s worth, I´m sorry.” Your voice trails off. You feel exhausted.

He doesn’t say a word, avoids his gaze from his broken wings amongst the rubble and lets his head fall onto your shoulder instead, burying his face in your neck.

“I´m sorry” and again, louder “I´m sorry” louder “I´m sorry” louder “I´m so sorry”

“Bucky owes me ten bucks.” He laughs “Son of a bitch can´t pay me now, huh?”

You shake your head.

After a certain point one stops feeling the pain, be it physical or psychological.

It´s simple enough to remember when you´re not the one suffering.

You´re not a liar.

You´ve never been. To be a liar one needs to know the truth.

3 days 4 hours 32 seconds

Smoking calms you, it’s repetitive and familiar, and it’s easy enough to do while you’re skimming over the never-ending list of the soon to be dead.

She´s sitting close, watching, waiting, judging you silently without really doing so. You know she cannot see a goddamn thing- to her you’re just staring into space- and maybe, just maybe it´s goddamn better that way.

A name catches your eye and you tilt your head in response, a motion she instantly picks up on and copies, her red hair bouncing along to her shift.

“Where´s Clint?”

She shrugs, green eyes zeroing in on the raindrops on your window.

“He was called in for a mission yesterday. Didn´t say where to.”

She´s upset, you think, then- she´s got every goddamn right to be

And somewhere along that train of thought you laugh, it´s empty and cold and so much better than the tears you so desperately want to be able to spill.

“You´ve got a strange sense of humor.”

She´s standing up and walking away then, and you honestly do not expect her to catch your next words- “comes with not being human”

She doesn’t mention it until much later, when she´s dragged the grieving widow from the bar and handed her over into Tony´s capable and trembling hands.

“Explain to me now” she orders, and you find it remarkable how she still has the resolve to do so while her entire world is falling apart all around her “why would you say you aren’t human?”

Smoking calms you, it´s repetitive and familiar, and it´s simple enough to hide the self-loathing in between the wisps of smoke.

“-because I´m not a liar”

You´re not human.

Not anymore. Perhaps you´ve never been one to begin with. Who knows? You surely don’t. So, you decide to cling to the one thing you know to be true.

Death cannot be cheated and delayed for only so long



Jade Hassouné Gif Pack 

Under the cut you will find #79 gifs of Lebanese-Canadian actor Jade Hassouné from his role as Sam in That’s My DJ. All gifs are 250x150px, hq, and were made by me. Please do not redistribute, edit into gif icons without permission, or repost into your own gif hunt. If you find these gifs helpful, a like or reblog would always be appreciated. 

Trigger warnings: drug use, alcohol

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Just Friends // Baekhyun (1)

synopsis: your relationship with Baekhyun used to be full of hatred until one little school project makes the feelings swerve everywhere

chapters: one // two

genre: fluff and angst in the future

pov: 1st

word count: 1,878

author’s note: if this chapter gets fifty likes or more, i’ll start working on the second chapter! this was actually really fun to write as well. as always, i hope you enjoy and requests are open!

TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter includes domestic/child abuse and alcoholism


It wasn’t always this confusing. In fact, when we were younger, we despised each other. I guess it was due to the fact of us being children, and like all children, we were most likely drama queen and king. Actually, the only reason our relationship is confusing, is because of what happened last week. You’re probably confused, aren’t you? Well how about this, I’ll go back and explain our relationship, what happened, and how we ended up in this situation. Then, we’ll be where we are now, does that sound good?


Walking through the doors of preschool consisted of me holding on to my mother’s hand, desperately tugging at it to make her take the both of us home. My older brother told me that preschool was the best year of school ever, and I believed him. Until we walked through the doors. Kids were everywhere, yelling, running, and playing. It’s terrifying. “Y/N, you have to let go of my hand, sweetie.” Mom chuckled, gently removing one finger at a time from her hand.

“No way!” I exclaimed, grabbing onto her arm instead. She gave me ‘the look’ before proceeding to walk away. She mouthed an ‘I love you’ before leaving the place. At the brink of tears, I slowly walked into the hectic room, trying to avoid any trouble, along with the noisy kids.

“Baekhyun, slow down!” a young lady, presumably the teacher, yelled, running after a brown haired child, who is most likely Baekhyun. Soon enough the brown haired kid would run past me, but he instead ran into me and knocked me down to the ground.

“Watch where you’re going!” he exclaimed. “You almost gave me cooties, how gross!”

I have never even heard of cooties until this very moment, and my small, frail body ended up trembling, the tears that welled up in my eyes being released. Cooties, he sounded so angry when he said that. And that was frightening. Needless to say, I started to think I was dying, as if I had this disease called cooties, which was the most deadly disease in the world. Thanks to me being an over-dramatic four-year-old, I thought I was on the brink of death, like I could die at any moment. To sum up, the word “cooties” made me think I was in danger and I ended up breaking down, tears finally streaming down my face.

The mysterious lady (who I had absolutely no clue of her name) scurried over to me, her face etched in worry. She picked me up and looked down at the boy and scolded, “I have had enough of this behavior, Byun Baekhyun! If I have to scold you one more time, there will be a call to mom and dad!” She yelled, she actually yelled. I remembered my brother saying, “if the teacher actually yells at a preschool student, it means they often get in trouble, so don’t worry about getting yelled at unless you choose to be an annoying rascal.” Did I know what the word rascal meant? No. But I assumed it was pretty bad, considering he used it in the context of “don’t get in trouble or you’re a rascal.”

After hearing her yell, I buried my face into the crook of her neck. I was never a person who could handle anything revolving around yelling or fighting. Call me weak if you must, but it’s who I am and I’ve come to accept it.

From that moment on, I swore to myself that I would avoid Baekhyun at all costs. That plan, however, failed. First of all, it just so happened that my assigned spot was right next to Baekhyun, which meant that he could torture and annoy me whenever he pleased. And let me tell you, he took up that offer every moment he could.

Ever since then, every single day I came home, I would whine and complain to my brother about how infuriating Baekhyun was. And every single time, he had the exact same reply: “He has a crush on you.” (Admittedly, the first time he said crush I was very confused since crush usually means smash, break, destroy, and etcetera.)

Then the next year of school came around, and with just my luck, I managed to be in the very kindergarten classroom of Byun Baekhyun. However, he ignored me for a few months. He was too busy hanging out with his newfound best friend, Park Chanyeol. He was (and still is) a lengthy person, his legs very long. For the most part, I really liked Chanyeol. The taller male was an angel: whenever Baekhyun came my way to irritate me, Chanyeol steered him away, instead dragging him along to the action figures and other toys, a great distraction for any five or six year old. To put it simply, I felt like Chanyeol was a guardian angel, always steering the annoying Baekhyun away from me.

For a majority of kindergarten, not much happened to me dealing with Baekhyun, though first grade is where hell truly took place.

During summertime, when I was transitioning from kindergarten to first grade, my mom lost her job and started drinking. For the first few days, she’d have a beer every day, but then it turned to more. It was three drinks, four drinks, five drinks, and so on, until it eventually became a new beer after the last was finished. Throughout the summer, all I saw of her was her either drinking, drunk out of her mind, vomiting, or passed out. My father was dealing with her, doing his best to make sure she didn’t pass, but then she did something truly awful. One time, my father refused to give her another beer, all the beer that had been in the fridge was either thrown out or stashed away, and that’s when my mom lost it.

She started becoming violent, both physically and emotionally. At first, it was aimed only towards my dad, so he often times came to mine and my brother’s room, discussing how we should at all times possible stay in our room or at a friend’s house, which is what we did for quite a while. That is, until, my mother started breaking even more. She eventually demanded we open the door, and when we wouldn’t, she kick at it. At first, we were fine with that. We knew she was out of her mind. But then she finally kicked the door down. When she did break the door, she started screaming like the madwoman she was.

Once she came in, she grabbed my hair and pulled. She kept pulling at it, even though I screamed and yelled for her to stop. She started pulling the hair out, and to this day, I have a scar on the right side of my head, forever there to remind me of the awful day.

Luckily for me and my brother, he was able to grab his phone in the midst of this and called for dad, when he picked up he was a sobbing mess, begging for him to come inside and take us away. The first thing my father did was call the police, to tell them about the domestic and child abuse going on, and then he ran. No matter how slow he normally was, he ran as fast as the speed of sound and made it to us, quickly hitting at my mother until she fell back, which is when he picked me up and grabbed my brother’s hand, running far away from the house.

By the time first grade started, I was still an emotional mess due to the whole mother situation. To make it worse, Baekhyun was still in the same class as me while Chanyeol was over in Ms. Kim’s classroom. He managed to make another friend though. His name was Sehun, but he’s an even shittier person than Baekhyun, which made my life ten times more miserable than it was on its own.

In addition to that, exactly one week before Mother’s Day, my class started our projects for gifts to, if not obvious enough already, give to our mothers. My teacher was kind enough to whisper to me during nap time (the one time other children would actually fall asleep, which was oddly strange) that I could draw my dad a picture instead, so that is what I did.

My drawing was a picture of my father, my brother, and myself in our quaint house next to the park. Of course, I never even thought of my mother once through the entire drawing process (as much of a process as there is for a seven-year-old). My time drawing my small family was peaceful, until the two notorious brats Sehun and Baekhyun decided to waltz in and think they knew enough about my life to criticize the picture.

Sehun for the most part was on the shy side, but once he was with Baekhyun he was the devil, which made this experience so much more enjoyable. “Hi, Y/N!” Baekhyun said, a cheery ass smile on his face.

“What do you want?” I asked, immediately furious, knowing the two boys were up to no good.

Sehun instantly replies. “You’re drawing is wrong.” Baekhyun just snickered in agreement. What assholes.

“How is it wrong?” I questioned, voice innocent yet dripping with anger.

“You forgot your mommy, the reason why it’s being drawn.” Baekhyun answered. Okay, I may have thought to myself that I had moved on from the situation, but do to my reaction, I clearly hadn’t in the slightest. Instead of the calm reaction I was hoping for, I ended up bursting into tears, not only making me even sadder, but also embarrassed for the rest of the school year (until Hoseok ended up peeing himself during snack time one day).

This scene seems all too familiar. Though at the time I didn’t realize this, Baekhyun made me cry just like in preschool, and yet again, I had a teacher scurrying over to me, ready to help out. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked, eyebrows raised in concern.

“They-they said that… that m-my drawing was wrong!” I confessed, gripping onto the back of her shirt for dear life as I cried to my heart’s content. With her already glaring at the two boys, I continued on. “They said it was wro-wrong because it didn’t have a mommy!” I hiccuped. Once I finished crying and calmed down for the most part, she gave a stern look to the two boys and made them follow her outside to the hallway while some girls ran over to play with me and attempt to cheer me up.

“Just ignore them,” one of the girls, Jennie, said, giving me a hug before asking if I could join them. By the end of the school day, Jennie and I were calling each other best friends (but doesn’t every seven year old child do so?) and planning to meet up. My next few years were peaceful, as I managed to get through with the help of Jennie and Baekhyun being in other classrooms. But once I got to high school?

This is just the start of my life, I am nowhere near done.

anonymous asked:

Trigger Warning : all the people (not just RFA) react to MC being an alcoholic but refuses Help (if you're not cool with it plz just delete) xoxo

Hope these are all right! 

TW: Scenarios deal with Alcoholism


  • He enjoyed beer from time to time
  • Especially on the weekends
  • At first, he looked forward to enjoying alcohol with you on his free nights
  • But after awhile, he started seeing signs in you
  • You would drink every night, even without him…and even on days where work was the next day
  • Sometimes, you even called out of work because of a hangover
  • He saw the signs of alcoholism and tried confronting you about it
  • When you refuse the help, he understands
  • It was hard for him to admit to a drinking problem at one point in his life
  • But he doesn’t give up
  • Eventually, he convinces you to go with him to a group to get help
  • You both drop alcohol and eventually you do overcome your alcoholism


  • It was hard for him because he watched you go from drinking a few times a month to nearly every night
  • At first, he didn’t think it much of a problem
  • You had a beer with dinner
  • But then he noticed he’d been getting drunk calls more often
  • He’s really worried about you so he starts doing some research on alcoholism
  • He’s subtle about trying to help you
  • But every time you refuse
  • When you get into an accident because of drunk driving, he puts his foot down
  • You’ve never seen Yoosung so upset or anxious before, so you agree to try to get some help
  • He becomes your accountability partner, and he makes sure you don’t get one drop
  • At first, this leads to a lot of fights, especially when you’re stressed and want to drown yourself in liquor
  • But you mellow out and realize how patient he is
  • After a year of being sober, you plan to do something really special for him


  • When she got especially stressed, you would take her out for a drink
  • This became a weekly thing for you two
  • On the weekends, you would get a little tipsy together
  • But she noticed you were asking her to come out for a drink more often
  • Because of work, she refused more days than not
  • But after months of you disappearing after work and returning home late, she followed you several nights
  • She watched in pain as you jumped to a new bar almost every night
  • You got yourself so drunk that sometimes she would drive you home and you don’t even know how you got back
  • Instead of suggesting to get help for you alcoholism right away, she asks about your feelings
  • After a few times, you start opening up about your stress, and that’s how the drinking started
  • She helped you come to the realization
  • Seeing the light, you try to cut down on stress, claiming this would help the issue, even though she suggests going to get help for alcoholism
  • But the bad habits continue until finally she gives you an ultimatum
  • You either get help or she leaves, since she couldn’t bear you waste your potential away like that
  • This gets your attention and you get help with Jaehee as your biggest support


  • He likes wine
  • You like wine
  • It seemed great that you two got to enjoy a variety of drinks together because of his business
  • But he knew that wine was great with discretion….something he started to realize you didn’t have
  • He started to notice when the amount of wine being delivered home started to become more frequent
  • At first, it was one bottle a week….then it came to the point where it was one bottle a day
  • He watched night after night as you transformed from your usual self to your drunk self
  • It was like he was with two different people
  • He blamed himself for encouraging the habit in the first place
  • But he wants you to get help
  • You refuse, claiming the issue is nonexistent
  • This grows into a full blown argument leading to your separation for awhile
  • It breaks his heart to be away from you, but he feels like you’ve become a different person
  • Thankfully, this doesn’t last long as you two struggle without him
  • You return to him and ask if he would help you overcome your alcoholism
  • Of course, he gets you the best help all the while making sure it’s handled quietly for your sake
  • Everything works out in the end and you two are closer than ever


  • He didn’t drink alcohol
  • But he didn’t mind you enjoying a drink from time to time
  • That time to time seem to grow frequent however
  • When you called him up crying because you were so drunk and you didn’t know where you were, he nearly panicked
  • He drove nearly an hour to get you, and you had drunkenly responded you had no idea how you got there
  • Hoping it was just a one time thing, he let it go, but put some tracking tags on your clothes before you left
  • He watched in horror as you hopped bars starting as early as mid afternoon
  • He confronted you about the problem
  • You refused to get help, as you didn’t think it was a big deal
  • He didn’t like it, but he didn’t want to give up
  • But you continued to get worse, and he continued to patiently ask for you to get help
  • You eventually broke down when you threw a glass at him in one of your drunken fits
  • He wasn’t hurt badly, but your heart was more shattered than the glass on the floor
  • You beg for forgiveness and promise to get help
  • He’s the most patient person as you go through the process, dealing with your bad days and encouraging in your good days
  • When you finally overcome the battle, you promise to be loyal to him until death do you part


  • You were drinking buddies
  • Things were tough for him and tough for you
  • So you would drink, forgetting about your worries, and just have some fun
  • But as he started recovering, he started drinking less
  • Conversely, you started drinking more
  • Without him, you feel even lonelier which only drove you to alcohol
  • He doesn’t notice until one night you mistakenly call him while drunk and spill out your heart
  • When you’re sober, he confronts you about it, inviting you with him to some therapy sessions
  • He thinks getting to the root of the problem may work for you like it did for him
  • But you refuse
  • At first he brushes it off, but as you get worse, he can’t ignore it anymore
  • He pesters you to get help until finally you give in–if only to make him shut up
  • As you go through the process, you realize how much of a problem you actually had
  • It takes awhile, but eventually you do thank him for intervening before something serious happened


  • He saw as you gradually drank more and more
  • It wasn’t for any particular reason
  • You just liked alcohol, and you find it more and more addicting as time passed
  • But he noticed it started to affect your health
  • You had stomach problems, your sugars were spiked, and you seemed to age a lot quicker
  • He tries to gently suggest that you might be struggling with alcoholism
  • You flat out refuse
  • He drops it for a long while
  • But then out of the blue, he sits you down, nearly in tears, and asks if you would consider treatment
  • You can’t refuse with him sounding so heart broken
  • It isn’t until later in your recovery process does he tell you of several incidents that triggered that talk–incidents you don’t even remember
  • You’re so thankful and you really put all your effort in overcoming your addiction


  • He smokes, but he doesn’t drink often
  • It muddles the brain too much
  • At first, he’s not opposed to you drinking
  • But when he sees it’s affecting who you are–how you act around him, he intervenes
  • He sits you down and tells you bluntly that you have a problem
  • Of course you refuse
  • But he expects that
  • When you’re least expecting it, he says he’s taking you to the store or somewhere random
  • He ends up taking you to a group that can help you
  • It end in a fight when he pulls this several times over the course of a few months
  • But in the end, you finally see the light
  • As you get better, you feel a lot better
  • You thank him and try to repay him somehow, but he brushes it off saying it was nothing
  • But you know deep down that he actually cared 

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

Jason Todd x Reader (Brotherly Relationship) - Are You Insane Like Me? Been in Pain Like Me?

TRIGGER WARNING: Blood, Alcohol, Drugs, Abuse

Requested by: @cattopolis

Song: Gasoline, Halsey

Word Count: 3,510

Falling against the hard and cracked wall, exhausted, broken, and in terrible pain, you attempted to somewhat compose yourself. You did not want to think about what had just happened, and be as it may that it happened almost every night, it wasn’t any more pleasant after time. You were all alone, as per usual, considering your father was passed out, and your mother had left when you were 3, and she was the only person that cared about you. 

You were now 17, and had grown up in hell ever since, but you tried as hard as humanly possible not to see it that way. Your father was a terrible alcoholic and drugie, and you had to feed his addiction or he would beat you to a pulp. You did what any person on the streets would do at the age of 17 for money, and you weren’t proud of it. You stole and sold anything within your sight, and it added up pretty quickly. Your dad had taught you how, this was the only thing he ever taught you before his descent into drugs and vodka, and you were damn good at it.

You had been doing this since you were 5, it was all you knew, and he would take all the money and put it to drinks and the newest substance floating around the dark and grim city, inviting his shitty friends over for parties, and you would have to clean everything up. He also used you as a test experiment for his drugs, a lab rat should you say, but you had no way to fight him against it, so you took is with cries and pleads, praying to live another day, and that it just might get better.

Tonight, it had been one after one, he would inject them into you, and you would take it because you thought, maybe one day, he’ll stop. Maybe one day, he’ll get better. Whenever there was a party, you would be strapped to a table in a tank top and shorts, and needles would be thrown your way left and right. Tonight was no different.

You were the entertainment, writhing and screaming as the vile liquids burned and clawed through your veins. You cried and pleaded for it to stop, but if you spoke a word, you were hit, so you stopped fighting, stopped asking. The only noise that was allowed from you were your screams, and god did your father’s terrible friends love to hear you scream. 

They cheered and chanted, watching you struggle to breathe and stay complacent, throwing whatever new or old drug they discovered at your father and his few closest friends so they could inject the poison into your flailing body, paying hundreds to watch you struggle in immense pain, and it was terrifying. You never knew when it would end, it all was a daze, painful and loud, but eventually, it all stopped and you were left as the broken girl they all loved to watch suffer, struggling to stay alive.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hc/scenario (I dunno the difference in this case :v) about MC breaking up with the RFA + V, Saeran and Vanderwood for a stupid reason and because of that they cross the street not paying too much attention and almost get hit by a car, but MC runs and pushes them out of the street and get hit instead. (Your choice if MC survives or not)(Sorry about the angst or if its too specific) ~ Cookie

Hello there cookie! Aaaah, mod fluffy loves to write angsty stuff! <3 Thank you for this request cookie! ily<3 I hope you like this! 

~mod fluffy<3

!**Trigger Warning**!

Contains stuff that may trigger depressive episodes and over thinking.  Mentions alcohol and extreme recklessness. Contains implied suicide.


  • He was devastated. His world crumbled into pieces when the doctor told him that you almost didn’t make it. You were in a coma and no one knows when you’ll wake up.
  • This boy knew how it felt to lose a loved one and he can’t bear to lose you. You are his first love. You are his world. 
  • He had no one to blame but himself. He breaks down everyday. Every.Fucking.Day.
  • He would swap places with you if he can.
  • He holds your hand the whole time.
  • “MC? I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, please come back. Please.” he’ll tell you everyday while sobbing.
  • He’s so scared to face you when you woke up, thinking that you’ll hate him coz it’s all his fault.
  • “M-Mc? I’m so sorry.” He was a crying mess. He lost it all when you slightly lifted your arms to hug him.
  • Yes. He’s now crying like a baby in your arms.
  • “I thought I’m gonna lose you. Oh god. I don’t know what to do. I could’ve lost you. I could’ve lost you forever MC, I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me.”

(mod fluffy is crying because she loves Yoosung so much <3)


  • “You’re kidding right?! She’s okay! Please tell me she’s okay!” The only words he managed to say as he fell on his knees. You were gone. 
  • He’s fallen into denial stage for too long. He spends his days drinking to numb the pain.
  • RFA members got worried when he haven’t logged in the messenger for three days straight. They went to his apartment only to find him on the kitchen counter. He was too drunk to notice them. he was crying and slamming his fists on the counter table. 
  • “MC? Where are you? You’re just mad right? You’ll come back right? Please come back. i’ll do everything. Haha, they kept on telling me that you’re gone! Why is that? That can’t be true. You love me, right? You’ll come back.”He looks really wasted. They can do nothing but try to calm him.
  • He stopped acting for a month. Staying at his apartment and blaming himself for losing you.
  • Knowing his condition, a director offered him a lead role - a suicidal man who lost his wife on a car crash. He reluctantly accepted the role which garnered tons of awards for his acting. Which he is not. It’s all real. Every single tear that he shed, every painful line that he said, the strong desire to end his own life, the struggle to keep going- all of it were real.
  • The only roles he accepted since then are portrayals of someone hopeless,depressed or struggling because of losing someone .


  • The moment she lost you is the moment she lost it all. She promised her self to never love anyone again for she loses everyone she love no matter how hard she tries to keep them.
  • Puts on a strong facade to hide how she’s broken inside. 
  • RFA is really worried as she drowns herself in too much work, rarely stopping to rest or to eat.
  • Jumin offered her a holiday which she refused, saying that she needs to work.
  • that’s true.
  • She needs to work so that she can somehow forget about you. She needs to distract herself from the thought that she’ll never see you again, she’ll never be able to touch you again nor hear your voice. It hurts. It destroys her. The thought of you is enough to destroy her whole being, that’s why she needs to work. No- to drown herself with work, hoping that it’ll literally drown her and take her to you.


  • “No! I’m willing to pay any amount! Please, J- just save her! Please save my princess.” This is the first time Jumin Han let his emotions get to him. He’s vulnerable and he knew it, but it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re gone. Your smile. Your laughter. Your touch. Your voice. Everything is gone. And he’s fucking miserable.
  • “Please make her come back. I- I need my princess here, just please.”
  • It almost felt like a slap on his face. Yeah, money and power can’t do everything. It can’t bring you back.
  • He’s back to being the stone cold Jumin. 
  • He drowns himself on work but later on resigns.
  • He spends his days at home, watching your videos and listening to your voice recordings while tears are streaming down his face.


  • Doesn’t show himself in the messenger for a whole week.
  • He’s trying to make a time machine, seriously.
  • “MC, please wait, okay? I- I’ll make this work” he keeps on telling himself as his tears started to cloud his vision while he’s working on it.
  • RFA were shocked when he logged in again for the first time. He was joking and telling about all sorts of stuff.
  • He told them that he was working on something for you.
  • He waited until no one was online before he left a message.
  • “The time machine was broken. I don’t know if i can fix it, but I can’t wait any longer. I’ll go meet MC tonight. ;) I miss her so much. Please take care,everyone. Seven-oh-Seven signing off.”


  • “It was all my fault.” he was back to zero and he’s taking all the blame.AGAIN.
  • The doctor told him that it’s not sure when or if you’ll wake up again.
  • He was struck by the thought that it was his fault. He was always seen sitting beside your bed, silently watching you.
  • He never fails to bring you flowers every single day. It’s been 4 fucking months.
  • He never cried but it all came crushing down on him one night. He was scared. Scared that he may never see you open your eyes again, that he might not be able to hear your voice again. 
  • He touched your cheeks and gently placed a soft kiss on your forehead. He didn’t noticed that he was already crying.
  • “MC? Can You hear me? I miss you already. Please wake up soon.” he sweetly said in between his sobs.
  • He lightly placed his head into your chest, listening to your faint heartbeat. He was shocked when he suddenly felt your arm move. You reached out to wipe his tears even though you can still barely move.
  • “MC. Y- You… You came back to me. Oh God. Thank you for coming back to me.” he sobbed even more. Too happy to stop his tears from falling.


  • Losing you will be his death. He’s loved no one but his brother and you his whole life. You. Of all people, why does he have to lose you? You were the only one who accepted him even though he has done a lot of bad things in the past.
  • His world will instantly fall apart. As soon as he hears it, he’s down on his knees- breaking, insanity ripping it’s way to his being.
  • He knew well that you took his sanity with you when you left this world. He’s nothing. nothing but an empty body wandering trying to find you- you who is already gone. 
  • His nightmares were back again, but it’s not about Mint Eye. It’s you. Your face. Your Voice. Your touch. It’s you that makes him wake up and cry in the middle of the night.
  • Time came when he can’t take it anymore, he left a note for his twin and disappeared.
  • “Saeyoung, take care of yourself. MC is being naughty and went to paradise ahead of me. It’s okay though, I’m not mad at her. I’m going there too. I’ll be with her soon, no need to be sad.”


  • He doesn’t know how to deal with it. God. All he knows is that it hurts. It fucking hurts. Even just hearing your name is like taking a bullet straight to his chest. 
  • He’s been living alone for too long until he had you. You became his world and now you’re gone.
  • It took him a week to find himself again. He needs to regain his composition because of his fucking job. He took the most dangerous and deadly missions that there is, not caring if he’ll die. He might meet you then, but he’s not sure if you’ll like to see him, afterall it was his fault. 
  • “I miss you. I wonder if i’ll get to meet you again. I want to see you again, but I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve someone like you. The only thing i deserve is this filthy job and this misery I’m feeling right now. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, MC.”