Here’s a big ole Holiday Prompt request for you! *does actual best impression of Thomas’s voiceover voice, however still manages to sound like a cross between a dying cow and Betty white* IN AN AU WHERE, Patton discovers the joys of eggnog. Not knowing it is alcoholic. Flirtation. An upset tummy. And eventual embarrassment ensue. And Logicality. Because we all know you’d do it anyway, but lemme just take that pressure off for you fahm. *finger guns*
Thank you so much for this, fam! I appreciate this prompt more than you will ever know, because this is gold. And you know if I’m doing it, it’s going to be Logicality. *finger guns* TRIGGER WARNING: ALCOHOL!!!
Logan heard a bizarre noise coming from the commons, something between the caterwauling of a cat in heat and the screeching of a deranged banshee. Highly disturbed, and a little curious, he made his way downstairs, passing a frantically retreating Virgil who had both hands clapped over his ears.
“YOU deal with him, I’m out!” Virgil hissed as he quickly ducked into his room, slamming and locking the door. Logan arched a brow.
“Curiouser and curiouser…” he murmured. Once he made his way into the living room, the source of the noise became readily apparent. Patton was sitting on the couch, a Santa hat sitting on his head at a jaunty angle, his glasses slightly askew, attempting to sing along with the infernal screeching of Kelly Clarkson. He had a glass of yellowish liquid in his hand, and judging from his current state, Logan would estimate he was several glasses deep into the eggnog.
“What in the name of sanity is happening in here?” Patton giggled happily at Logan’s voice, stumbling to his feet and throwing his arms around the logical side, who stiffened in shock.
“Ohhhhh, L-Loooogaaaannnnn, ‘m soooo happy you’re here! Dontcha wanna…uhhh…glass of….this….stuff?!?” He enthusiastically shook his nearly empty glass, and Logan wrinkled his nose in disgust.
“No, thank you, Patton. It would seem you’ve imbibed enough eggnog for all of us. You do realize this contains alcohol, don’t you?” He tried to peel Patton’s arms from around his neck, but quickly realized this was a futile effort.
“Whaaaas got alcohol?” Patton’s big eyes blinked owlishly at him, and Logan felt the edges of his lips curling up involuntarily in a fond smile. He really was unfairly adorable, even horribly inebriated.
“Looooogggaaaannn….you’re soooooo preeeetty!” Patton sighed happily, beaming up at him. Logan’s eyes flew wide and he could feel his cheeks heating up.
“I…beg your pardon?!?” Patton giggled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, which Logan was fairly certain shorted his brain, then leaned back, one hand gently running through his hair while the other traced patterns on his chest.
“I looooove yooouuu, Loooogy Beeeaaar! Y-you don’ looove me, but it don’t matter cuz I love you ‘nuff for both of us!” Patton’s smile was a little watery around the edges, and Logan’s heart fluttered in his chest.
“Patton, I don’t know where you got the impression I don’t care about you, but that is…extremely false. However, this is a conversation better had when you are sober enough to remember it. Come on, I’ll assist you.” Logan moved his face so that Patton’s enthusiastic kiss landed on his cheek, chuckling a little as Patton pouted.
“But I wanna kiss you nooooowww!” Logan rolled his eyes, and turned to help Patton to his room, only to see Roman standing there with a smirk on his face. Logan’s face flushed red, and he instinctively straightened his spine, ready to verbally spar with the royal.
“Hiiiiiiyyyaaaa Rooooman! I…I love Logy Bear an’ he loves me, but he says I can’t talk about it now an’ he won’t let me kiss him!” Patton slurred, and Logan sighed and rolled his eyes, feeling his traitorous face blush, but he held his ground.
“As I said before, we can discuss this tomorrow when you are sober, Patton.”
“An’ then I can kiss you?” Roman made a choking sound that Logan recognized as him trying not to laugh.
“….If you wish to, we can address it at that time.”
“Awww, this is adorable. Who knew you had a heart, Short Circuit? Do you need help getting him to his room?” Roman’s voice was surprisingly soft, and his eyes held none of their usual teasing light. Logan slowly relaxed, realizing that Princey was not about to mock them.
“No, we should be fine. Thank you, Roman.” The royal gave him a nod of encouragement and strode away. Patton waved cheerfully after him.
“Byyyyeeee, Roooo!!! Hehehe-hic-hehehe! Logy Bear, we gon’ go to bed now?” Patton’s voice was slightly suggestive, and Logan chuckled as he gently maneuvered the moral side to his own room.
“No, YOU are going to bed, after drinking some water.” Logan handed the tipsy side a glass of water.
“Ooooookkkaaayyyyy! Imma drink this then!” Patton cheerfully downed the water, beaming at him and handing it back.
“Thank you, Patton.” Logan clicked his fingers, changing Patton’s clothes to soft pajamas. He tucked Patton in, stifling a laugh when the moral side snuggled happily into his bed.
“I love you, Logan.” He sighed before drifting off. Logan chuckled, then went to his own room to settle in for the night. He had a feeling the next day would be highly interesting.
The next morning, he was awakened by the sound of violent retching from the bathroom. Well, he had a feeling he knew who that was. He grabbed his glasses and made his way to their shared bathroom, not bothering to knock before walking in. Patton was on his knees, shivering and miserably leaning his head against the toilet.
“It would appear you are awake, and suffering. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Kill me…” Patton mumbled, and Logan suppressed a laugh.
“I’m afraid I cannot do that, Patton. Do you…recall anything from last night?”
“….A little…” Patton’s voice was small, and he wouldn’t meet Logan’s gaze.
“Do you, perhaps, recall confessing that you love me? And that you find me pretty?” Logan’s eyes were twinkling with mirth, and Patton’s head shot up in alarm his face flushing fiery red.
“Oh god, I didn’t!”
“Am I to understand that these statements were false? You were…quite insistent before.” Patton groaned, wishing he could delete the universe and himself.
“No…I meant it. I’m just embarrassed because I meant to tell you that in a more romantic way….and when I wasn’t drunk. How awful was I?”
“You were wailing that Kelly Clarkson song at the top of your lungs.”
“It was….endearing.” Logan assured him, sitting next to him on the floor and gently running his hand through Patton’s hair.
“I am so sorry, Lo. I know you don’t feel that way about me…” Patton trailed off, holding his stomach and groaning.
“Patton, I have no idea how you have missed that I am in love with you as well. I have been for quite some time. There will be time for soft words, and the kisses you requested, at another time. For now, you are likely to be sick again. I’ll get you some water.” Patton whimpered in distress, then turned and retched again. Logan’s face twisted in sympathy.
“Oh god….Logan….I love you, but you deserve so much more than this…” Patton gasped, having finally emptied all the contents of his stomach. Logan chuckled, running a soothingly cool hand up Patton’s back.
“Patton, when have you ever known me to prefer romance and fripperies to honesty and realism? We love each other, and that is more than enough.”
With that, he pressed a fond kiss to Patton’s clammy forehead and went to find his sick boyfriend a glass of water. Later, he would assure an embarrassed Patton that he did indeed love him. There would be soft kisses and gentle touches, laughter and maybe a few tears gently wiped away. Even incredibly sick and slightly hungover, it was the best Christmas Eve Patton could ever remember.
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