tried to be healthy

polyamory is awesome, i aint gonna deny that! for some people it saves their relationship(s) and is the most healthy option for them- and that’s awesome!!! but as soon as someone tries to say “polyamory is more healthy”, “monogamy is unhealthy” “monogamous people are just possessive/jealous” “humans are meant to be poly, if you’re monogamous you’re going against nature” or, the fucking worst of all for me “cheating is a social construct and if your partner cheats it’s your fault for trying to suppress them into a monogamous relationship when they’re clearly poly” I ain’t taking that shit. Keep that bullshit FAR away from me man. 

tips for a happy life
  • wake up early in the morning
  • do some kind of activity - go running, walk your dog, etc.
  • drink lots of water to boost your productivity
  • read more books
  • listen to inspiring music
  • clean your home/apartment for 15-20 minutes daily
  • consume fresh fruits and vegetables every day
  • prepare your own food - read more about healty eating, check out new recipies, cook with love
  • reward yourself, celebrate little victories - you’ve made it out of bed today, you washed your face and you had the strength to wake up and embrace the new day
  • go out, make new friends, be social
  • pick a diary and a beautiful pencil to write down how your day has been before you go to sleep
  • go to bed earlier
  • make plans for the next day - do something you’ve never done before. When was the last time you tried something diferent?
  • love life
on passive homophobia

there’s this post that i just saw, where the OP said that she does not condone same-sex ships because they’re sinful in her eyes. She was all “don’t hate me, pls, i mean no harm.”

and here’s the thing- i believe people when they say that they mean no harm when they say “love the sinner, hate the sin.” i grew up in an evangelical catholic household, but i also grew up with a sister who identifies as part of the LGBT community. when i was a kid, i also used to believe the whole “love the sinner, hate the sin” but over time, i realized how hurtful and just plain wrong that belief is. i realized how that belief still leads LGBT people to feel shame and self-hatred, how it alienates and destroys self-worth. Like… being gay is not the same as adultery and murder. It’s part of someone’s identity– how can you tell people to hate something that is part of their identity? 

i know the point many christians are trying to make is that Jesus takes away that shame and hurt bc he carries it for you, but day to day, it still is so hard to overcome. it’s hard to feel like you can’t be yourself, like you have to constantly reject your heart, your thoughts, your identity- even though no one else around you has to. it hit me when one my good friends told me, “I am gay, and I have accepted that I will always be a bachelor, because of what God wants.” My heart broke, because it felt wrong— if you fall in love with someone, you have to throw that away because loving someone who this religion says you shouldn’t is WRONG? 

I’m sorry, but the God I know- the God who saved my life- is a God who makes no mistakes. It’s a God who loves unconditionally, a God of endless complexity. 

and honestly, my sister has recently come to accept that she is not quite as straight as she tried to be for much of her life, and she’s now in a healthy happy relationship with a woman, and she is honestly the happiest i’ve ever seen her. it was such a point of inner dilemma for her, and it literally made her feel so depressed and angry at herself for years

anyway. i don’t usually talk about this stuff, because I’m never sure when it’s okay to speak up as someone who doesn’t identify as LGBT, but I do identify somewhat loosely as Christian, and many people I love are LGBT, and when I see someone using Christianity to peddle off passive homophobia, I feel like I need to speak up. 

TL:DR: even if you mean no harm when you say ‘hate the sin, love the sinner,’ you’re still causing worlds of harm. and when people tell you that your beliefs are harming them, it’s not good enough to say ‘i didn’t mean any harm.’ please listen to them. 

Let me tell you something about power imbalances

Since the Otayuri-discourse is getting really annoying, I would like to tell you something. Power imbalances can have an effect on every relationship. Romantic as well as platonic. A power imbalance can turn into an unhealthy relationship of any kind. But there is one thing, that everyone seems to ignore: A power imbalance itself does not cause abusive behavior. On its own its neither good nor bad. Its the way it is used, that makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationship.

A power imbalance is like a “tool”. It can be used by an abuser to take advantage of its victim. The abusers keep themselves on the higher level to maintain the imbalance. This can lead to physical and emotional abuse. The abuser can easily pressure the victim into doing things that they aren’t comfortable with. For example: Older friends pressuring the younger one into drinking alcohol/older lover pressuring younger to have sex despite them not being ready for it. And this is obviously a horrible thing.

But a power imbalance can also have a positive effect. In a healthy relationship the more powerful part tries to minimize the imbalance. They don’t see the other on as lower. They want to be on an equal level. The imbalance can be used to help the younger one grow, while also making sure that they are safe don’t go over their limits. It can be reassuring to have someone more experienced that can help you in life and share their experiences. One great example for a healthy relationship with a power imbalance in the beginning is a ship you all love: Victuuri!

At the start of the show Yuuri is a loner. He doesnt have many friends and the only thing he really cares for is skating (and Victor of course). He has huge anxiety and really lacks in confidence. He idolizes Victor and therefore sees him as above him.  Also, Yuuris love life before Victor is pretty much non existent and he just becomes a blushing mess at the mere mention of eros. On the other hand we have Victor “Sexiest-Man-Alive” Nikiforov. He is way more experienced and confident than Yuuri and has had a few relationships in the past. All this puts a huge imbalance on Victors side. We see this in the beginning, when Victor was really pushy, thinking Yuuri was still as confident and flirty as he was at the banquet, making Yuuri feel visibly uncomfortable. When Victor sees this, he tones down the flirting to keep it at a pace that Yuuri can comfortably move along with. We see Victor helping Yuuri becoming more confident in his abilities and more comfortable with his sexuality. Victor used the power imbalance to turn the idol-fan-relationship into a loving relationship between two equals.

This concludes, that a power imbalance itself does not automatically make a relationship bad. Its the mindset of the more powerful person, that determines if this imbalance can be healthy or not.

Now lets talk about Otayuri!

First of all, Yuri is not the pure, innocent, little child, that needs to be sheltered from everything, that you all seem to think he is. We are talking about the “kid” who wanted to skate to eros, because he thought it would fit him better. The kid who watched Yuuri and Chris pole dancing and kept tons of photos of it. The kid who told Mila to stop acting horny after breaking up with her boyfriend. Most 15/16 years old boys are not innocent angels…  Also, Yuri is actually quite mature for his age. Yuri moved away from his home to St. Petersburg when he was around 10 years old. He is the main provider for his family since his junior debut. Growing up away from home, with this high responsibilities makes you mature faster. He committed his life to figure skating. He had the determination and disciplin to win GPF gold on his senior debut. This level of dedication, endless training, without complaining, to work towards a goal, is a sign of maturity. Sure, sometimes he acts childish and on impulse, but so does Victor, the guy who pauses his career for a year, travels to Japan and suddenly shows up naked at a hot spring, because of his crush on a drunk Yuuri.

We have seen Otabek and Yuri both supporting and admiring each other. We see Otabek helping Yuri to grow. Yuri doesnt act like an angry brat with him. He is much calmer and happier around him.  Kubo even said that Otabek sees them as equals. There is only a small power imbalance between them. Its even smaller than between Victor and Yuuri. And since their relationship is based on mutual respect and support, and Otabek wants them to be equal, there is not even the slightest hint, why this relationship would be abusive in any way. To me this looks like the perfect base for a healthy relationship. So what makes you think that Otabek would be a predator? What makes you think he would take advantage of him? Why would he harm Yuri? This is what bothers me the most about this discourse. By saying this ship would be unhealthy , disgusting and bad, you are accusing Otabek of being an abusive asshole. And this magnificent, loving character does not deserve this hate.

This post is obviously not meant to say that all relationships with age differences are totally ok. This is meant to explain, that it is not always automatically bad. There are many unhealthy relationships where both people are the same age or where the abuser is the younger one. Age alone is not what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy. The mindset of the individual person is!

3

This is really funny to me because this is probably a conversation Sam and Dean had many times over the years when Sam tries to convince Dean to eat healthy stuff and Dean’s like, “No way. Too much fiber is bad for you”.

And here, Sam can’t help but rub it in Dean’s face even though they are on a job. And Dean’s face is like the best part. 

I saw a “shoutout to the theatre kids” post that was only about actors and I felt left out so this is for everyone else (please add to this if you feel you haven’t been represented!!):

shoutout to the theatre kids that aren’t actors

  • to the stage managers who manage to balance friendships and being authoritative in rehearsals
  • to the technicians that do extra training in welding and access equipment and so many other things to make themselves more hireable
  • to the techs and stage management who just sometimes want to wear colour but are instead in show blacks all the time
  • to the stage managers who get stuck mediating the tension between directors and designers who are older and supposed to be more mature than you
  • to the techs who injure themselves, deal with it, and keep working (or are told they aren’t allowed and are so annoyed about it)
  • to the designers that have to compromise what they want because the director doesn’t like it or there isn’t enough time/budget/equipment
  • to the casual crew members who just like theatre and want to be involved but aren’t trying to make a career of it
  • to everyone who tries (and sometimes fails) to fit in friends and healthy eating during tech week
  • to everyone who has ever done a year-long unpaid (or barely paid) internship in the hopes that it will lead to a job opportunity
  • to everyone who has ever worked really hard on making/finding a prop only to have it cut in tech or dress
  • to the design assistants that have to figure out when and how to become designers in their own right
  • to anyone who has ever managed to avert a crisis backstage where there’s barely any light and you can’t talk
  • to anyone who has ever had to make the decision to stop the show because some crises just can’t be averted
  • to everyone who struggles to understand unions

and the list goes on and on

you’re all fucking amazing

anonymous asked:

Evan and Connor OTP questions??

- Who in your otp had the Emo phase in high school? Evan. Come on, we all know it’s Connor, except it’s not a phase, Cynthia. It’s who he is.
- Who loves breakfast foods? Evan loves almost all breakfast foods. He would eat breakfast for every meal if he could, but that’s ‘not healthy’ according to Alana.
- Who washes the dishes while the other dries? They have a dishwasher, but if it’s busted, Evan washes and Connor dries because Evan is usually more attentive and makes sure the plates are actually clean.
- Who likes to drive? Connor. Evan’s anxiety only worsens when he drives, so Connor does all of the driving for them. Sometimes they walk places, though, or ride their bikes.
- Who is more organized? Evan. Connor doesn’t really mind mess, but Evan always feels better if things are in order.
- Who likes to go outside and who is the hermit? Evan’s the hermit. I kid, I kid. Evan loves being outside, while Connor is pretty sure he’s allergic to the fresh air. He’ll go on hikes and climb trees with Evan if Evan really wants to, though. Connor can’t say no to him.
- Who gets super excited about everything? Evan is definitely the more expressive when it comes to his passions, but Connor does still get excited about things. He tries to act like he doesn’t care, but Evan’s learned to notice the spark in Connor’s eyes when he’s excited about something.
- Who likes to eat spicy food? Connor. Evan has digestive problems and can’t always eat really spicy things. Connor, on the other hand, will drink an entire bottle of hot sauce without blinking.
- Who is the one who kills the bugs? Neither. Evan takes them outside while Connor acts like he’s totally not scared. He is actually very scared.
- Who loves to cook? Connor, surprisingly. Neither one of them knew how until the got to college and Connor bought a bunch of cookbooks to try and make sure they didn’t rely too much on ramen. Also, with Evan’s dietary restrictions, he had to make sure there was something he could eat.
- Who is the one who gets the other to try new things? Evan. Connor can be a stubborn person, but Evan usually gets him to be a bit more adventurous when it comes to the outdoors.
- Who is more protective? They both are, in their own ways. Connor is very physically protective of Evan; he’s willing to beat the crap out of anyone that bothers him. Evan worries over Connor, though, and will stand up for him if he thinks he really needs it.
- Who likes PDA more? Neither one of them. They’re both too uncomfortable around strangers to just start kissing, and they both like to keep their affection private. However, around close friends, Connor’s usually the one cuddling Evan or grabbing his hand. Evan will sometimes initiate things, though.
- Who would go and do something stupid for 20.00$? Connor. Murphy. He can usually be egged on by Jared, who is offering the $20. Evan worries for him, and can usually be found crying on Zoe’s couch whispering “He’s so stupid. Oh my god.”
- Who is the one who eats too much? Evan has a habit of either overeating or undereating. Connor tries to make sure he’s staying healthy, though. 
- Who is the one who lies awake at night if they don’t have the other’s arms around them? Both of them. Once they become comfortable around each other enough to start cuddling, they don’t really want to stop. They’re the type of couple to stay awake texting until one of them crashes (usually Evan). The other (usually Connor) then just stares at pictures of them until they can finally fall asleep.
- Who would be the one to cry at their wedding? Surprisingly, Connor. It just hits him halfway through the ceremony that he’s actually getting married. He didn’t think it would ever happen, and certainly not with someone as amazing as Evan. He just starts bawling and Evan has to hug him until he stops.
- Who buys all the parenting books? Again, Connor. Both boys worry about being good fathers because they both had shitty dads, but Connor’s the one to study up on it. Evan has to tell him that he’s going to be a good dad and that he needs to stop worrying so much.
- Who is the one that tries to cook but can’t? Evan tries to make Connor breakfast in bed on their anniversary and it’s horrifying. He nearly burns down their house. Connor has to use the emergency fire extinguisher while Evan calls 911.
- Who would cheer on the other in an act of stupidity? Neither. If one of them is doing something stupid, the other will try to intervene, especially if Jared Kleinman is involved in some way.
- Who would get the tattoo of their lover’s name? Connor, because Evan hates needles. He doesn’t get Evan’s name, though, he gets his initials tattooed on his wrist for their tenth anniversary. Evan thinks it’s actually pretty romantic.
- Who would wear the other’s clothes in public? They both do. Evan has stolen almost all of Connor’s hoodies and wears them, but Connor’s the one to steal Evan’s shirts. Evan always gets flustered when he sees Connor in one of his blue t-shirts, so Connor keeps doing it.
- Who is the caring one who would do anything for you in an instant? They both are in different ways. Evan would drop everything in his life to be there to emotionally support Connor every step of the way, while Connor would do literally anything to make sure Evan is safe and happy.
- Who constantly laughs at themselves? Both still get embarrassed easily, but Connor’s the first to laugh at himself when he does something stupid. Evan always worries about looking like an idiot.
- Who brings home a stray dog and begs the other to keep it? CONNOR. He brings home like, thirty dogs a year and Evan always hates telling him no, but they don’t have enough room for all of them. They do adopt two, though, and Connor is alright with that.
- Who proposes? Evan does. Connor isn’t the most romantic, and he’s honestly probably a little more insecure about their relationship than Evan is. He just worries that he’s going to screw it up all the time. Evan proposes to him in the old orchard Connor’s family used to go to, and Connor sort of panics and says nothing and Evan gets worried until finally Connor just blurts out “Why?” Things eventually work themselves out, though.
- Who takes forever in the bathroom? Connor ‘My hair has to look amazing, Evan’ Murphy. His hair does look amazing, though, so Evan doesn’t really complain.
- Who bounces their leg up and down constantly? Evan. He has a lot of nervous ticks, and bouncing his leg is one of them. If it gets out of hand, Connor just leans over and puts his hand on Evan’s knee to get him to stop.
- Who is the one who doesn’t study and aces their exams? Connor. He is in classes with Alana Beck, after all. He’s incredibly intelligent, but he doesn’t try at all and thus doesn’t live up to his full potential. He always helps Evan study, though.
- Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when they are tired? Evan. Connor thinks it’s really cute, though, so he keeps telling Evan jokes to get him to laugh more.

This is something that is really hard for me to post. I’ve been a skinny girl for most of my teen years. I never really worked out back then or payed too much attention to what I was eating, I just tried to eat generally healthy. & I was very skinny. I still had body insecurities, but I never really saw myself getting “fat”.

Around the time I graduated I started to put on a little bit of weight. This is what I look like currently. My biggest insecurity is definitely my tummy and just my mid section. I always worked really hard to be confident in my body, even when I was skinny. I got to a place where I could genuinely love my body and everything about myself. & to lose that confidence when I gained weight just shook me. I had worked so hard to falter as soon as I gained weight.

I’ve spent the last couple months trying to hide my body, but clothes that make me “look good” and conceal my tummy. I’ve gotten rude comments from family members and friends about my weight gain. Because apparently gaining some weight is the worst thing you can do ever. I started working out because I felt so insecure. I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons.

I can’t say that I’m completely confident with my body yet but I decided now is the time the start that journey. My mental health is just important as my physical health. I want to be the body positive person that I constantly preach to people. I talk about fat positivity all the time but I don’t follow anything that I say in my everyday life. So I want that to change right here and now. I want to feel beautiful again. I know this is a sappy emotional ass caption but I’ve really been struggling with this for months and I wanted to share it with everyone on my blog and just be honest and raw about it. No, I don’t feel totally okay with myself yet but I’m going to try. And the first step for me is to wear a crop top and post a selfie for 8000 people to see on tbecause fuck it. You don’t need to have a flat stomach to wear a crop top!

Down 2 pounds this week!

Yep, that’s right, I called bullshit on my weigh in from yesterday and tried again today! 

I am now at my lowest weight from the first time I tried losing weight the healthy way back in 2013 when I met my fiancé! I studied abroad in Ireland for the first half of the year when I lost the 35ish pounds, but I gained it all back plus some to hit a new highest weight after I returned to my university in the US and had a particularly tough semester. 

My lowest weight from my second attempt in 2014/2016 was 168 (I think I saw that number almost exactly a year ago) and my goal is to get back there by May 8 when I start my new job 🤗🤗🤗

Originally posted by thecynicalcrayon

HW: 225 lbs.

CW: 179 lbs.

Total lost overall: 46 lbs.

Goal weight 1: 195 lbs.

Goal weight 2: 190 lbs.

Goal weight 3: 185 lbs.

Goal weight 4: 180 lbs. 

Goal weight 5: 175 lbs. (4 lbs. away)

Goal weight 6: 170 lbs (9 lbs. away)

Goal weight 7: 165 lbs. (14 lbs. away)

Goal weight 8: 160 lbs. (19 lbs. away)

Goal weight 9: 155 lbs. (24 lbs. away)

Goal weight 10: 150 lbs. (29 lbs. away)

GOT7 as Athletes
  • Jaebum: not an athlete but wears all of the athletic clothes. looks like he could probably do sports but is actually 95% a flop. an extremely sore loser anyways, constant dramatic sighing when he has to run
  • Mark: does running away from problems count as exercise? surprisingly a-okay with sports but is also the player that complains about how hard he works to get his toned arms. everyone fawns over him
  • Jackson: excels at everything. the captain of every sport he tries out for and THEN SOME. invented being healthy and active. literal king of athletics. a fair team player and he even cheers on the opposing team. when is he not drinking an organic smoothie
  • Jinyoung: likes the obscure sports like interpretive dance and synchronized swimming to make himself look more mysterious and exciting. doesn't actually know what he's doing but has a fun time anyways
  • Youngjae: not the best in athletics, but he's the number one cheerleader for his friends. attends everyone's games and always has a front row seat (except that game that jaebum accidentally hit him with a ball) ((he stays in the back during jae's games from then on))
  • Bambam: crying the entire time. says that stretching is a sport. conveniently always has a doctors note. often asks himself why he signed up for sports in the first place (he was bribed by yugyeom and youngjae with five dollars)
  • Yugyeom: gets hit in the face a lot. generally a mess but somehow one of the most valued team players. tries to buy doctors notes off of bambam to get out of practice but immediately gets caught and benched. mission accomplished. not before he had to run laps, however
10

Hardy + Miller + food

For David Tennant Appreciation Week day 7, David and his co-stars

so because @bechnaesun​ practically coerced me into exchanging future evak headcanons with her, we present to you everything we screamed about for over two hours. 

even and isak get married. and their life goes a little like this:

  • isak and even adopt twins because they would feel like they should adopt siblings so they never, ever felt alone, even when they inevitably start feeling like maybe if they’re not related by blood they’re not the same, but they’d have each other, always.
  • isak would read so many parenting guides!! and google searches!! one times he just goes on a three hour wild ride of reading parenting blogs online, and afterwards, when even comes to bed, isak is sniffly and whispers, “what if we fuck up their lives forever? what if they end up hating us, and never calling–”
  • and even just presses a kiss to the top of isak’s head and says, “they would never, because they’d have you as a parent, and your love is one of the most powerful things in the world.”
  • isak isn’t totally calm after that, but it helps, a bit, but he also thinks that even may be a little biased. a tiny impressionable toddler is a lot different from your husband, because even’s already seen him at his worst, and has promised to stick with him through the good times and the bad. and besides, he never saw even in his angsty teenage phase, and just think about it they’re going to have to put up with all of that! how are we going to deal with puberty! what if they start dating!
  • even: then we just tell them about how we fell in love.
  • isak: baby, you asked me to smoke weed with you
  • even: it’s okay i figure we have at least a couple of years to develop a clean version of that story
  • so the point is, even with all of even’s attempts to placate isak’s worries, he still insists even follows the parenting guides to a tee, just in case they really fuck up at one point
  • even agrees, but mostly because if they do fuck up, then he’d have something to blame it on

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey, I saw your tags on the ladywongs post, so I just wanted to know your opinion about the latest touka/mutsuki. honestly, I feel it unnecessarily complicated something so simple and it made me feel violated, cause I feel like I loved a character that was not touka. Do you perhaps...have an insight you wanna share?

Well, I was grateful for the shoutout that meta gave me and I’ve been a fan of a lot of metas that writer has produced, but this one in particular I very much disagreed with. I think the claim that Touka loves the idea of Kaneki while not really understanding the person ignores the fact that every time she’s made a serious observation about Kaneki she’s been bang on the money.

If she idolises Kaneki so, why has she made such a damning assessment about him? And it’s not just an assessment of the changed Shironeki that she resents, it extends to the Kuroneki she supposedly idolises as well. And what’s more, she’s completely right. This is even acknowledged by Kaneki himself.

Touka doesn’t idolise an image of Kaneki. Far from it. The chapter on the bridge is titled “Penetration” because Touka sees past the roles Kaneki plays to the scared kid inside. At this point, she probably has the best understanding of Kaneki than anyone in the series - maybe even more than Hide. For further proof, Touka knows at a FREAKING GLANCE just what Kaneki intends to do to himself when they meet up at Cochlea.

If this was just a casual “Seeya”, do you think it would be all Touka would say to him after all this time? She can tell Kaneki has no intention of making it out alive, so the first thing she does is to remind him that his death won’t affect him alone, and it very clearly shakes him up; setting him on the path to choose to live. Just like how their confrontation on the bridge convinced Kaneki to go back to Anteiku, if not quite in time.

Touka’s not being unreasonable because the Kaneki she idolised has changed. She’s mad because Kaneki’s going down a path of self-destruction, and it does destroy him. In the last quarter of the first manga the narrative breaks its back pointing out that Kaneki’s gone too far down the Shironeki path - it’s not just Touka, it’s also Yoshimura, Nishiki, even resident devil on Kaneki’s shoulder Shuu, not to mention events like Kaneki stabbing Banjou, seeing Rize crazed and helpless, and all the foreshadowing packed into ‘The Hanged Man’s McGuffin’. Touka is trying to help Kaneki because she genuinely does know what’s best for him because she genuinely understands him. I don’t think anyone would try to claim that convincing Kaneki to live at Cochlea was a bad thing either.

Now if Touka is ‘obsessed’ with Kaneki, if it can’t possibly be love because they only knew each other for two months, then it would stand to reason that Kaneki would be far, far more important to Touka than she would be for him.

Then why is it that in Kaneki’s mind, after only knowing Touka for two months and Hide for all his life, Touka is on equal footing with Hide? He includes the whole of Anteiku in the above panel, but Touka gets special mention with Hide in the next. 

And here, in his dying moments, Touka gets the biggest panel, placed on the next page for the biggest effect. Touka is just as important to Kaneki as vice-versa. 

But neither is ‘obsessed’ with the other.

Touka broke into Cochlea to save Hinami, not Kaneki. She didn’t even know he was there. She most definitely has a life outside Kaneki and her love for him is far from all-consuming. While he had lost his memories, she was fully willing to accept the possibility she might never talk to him again. She might love him, but if she was obsessed and didn’t have a life outside of him, there’s no way she could make a sacrifice like that even if her aim was selflessness. Yoshimura loved his daughter, and set up Anteiku anticipating her return, but he had a life outside of her too. It’s the same with Touka.

The original post tries to dismiss Touka’s feelings being a healthy form of love by comparing it to spending three years dedicating yourself to a co-worker who you knew for two months, but dumbing it down to their official relationship and a span of time removes an enormous amount of context to explain why she feels this way. In real life, you wouldn’t have fought side-by-side with your co-worker in life-threatening situations time and time again. These kind of high-pressure environments cause bonds and trust to become much much thicker much more quickly. “Summer friends will melt away like summer snows, but winter friends are friends forever”.

Sure Touka sees Arata in Kaneki. That’s not a bad thing at all. Arata was a great dude. Having an Arata in your life is a real positive thing, and there’s absolutely no reason why Touka shouldn’t chase it. People are hardwired to get with people who remind them of their parents - it’s in our genetic programming, it doesn’t diminish the love they feel for that person or make them love them less for who they are in the slightest. Trying to heal the wounds of old losses by emotionally investing yourself in new people is totally healthy - the unhealthy thing would be to shut yourself off from the world, just like Touka was doing at the start of the manga - a rut Kaneki helped her out of. It would be bad if she were just pretending that Kaneki was Arata, but she isn’t - she behaves totally differently around him and she has demonstrated many times an understanding of those personality traits Kaneki possesses that are completely different from Arata’s. It would be problematic if Kaneki got with someone who reminded him of his mother (read: Rize) because his mother was a horrible person; but Touka, even if she occasionally throws a hit at him (a product of her upbringing which is very rare nowadays - also Kaneki is nowhere near as vulnerable in this situation as he was a child, he’s the OEK for crying out loud), constantly gives Kaneki both the emotional attention and the hard truths that he needs.

This panel:

Is unambiguously a good thing. Touka’s development was never about growing into herself without the need for others, because she was already like that at the start of the manga. Touka’s development was about rediscovering the humanity she cast aside to protect herself from pain, and then balancing that with the strength she found with being a Ghoul. The first stage was greatly aided by Kaneki - whom she indeed admired, but never idolised - and the second stage she completed herself. 

Mutsuki’s love is a different beast entirely than Touka’s love. Mutsuki’s focus on Touka was precisely to emphasise Mutsuki’s jealousy, because Mutsuki recognises the bond Kaneki and Touka share. Mutsuki’s feelings are not meant to parallel Touka’s, but tie in with the other complicated entanglements of this arc, showcasing different kinds of love. I do strongly believe we’ll get both Touken and Akiramon resolutions soon, and positive ones too; the negativity around love this arc has displayed to us so far is set up to make those two relationships shine brighter.

So don’t worry anon, just because a meta says Touka is different from how you think about her doesn’t mean it’s right - it’s all a matter of interpretation. No one person’s opinion is automatically more important than another (except in this case maybe Sui Ishida - and maybe not even then, if you adhere to Death Of The Author literary theory), your analysis is just as valid as anyone else’s if you can argue it with evidence.

But even so, I am very much of the opinion in this fandom that if you see any meta that tries to claim that none of the main characters have developed at all since the start of the manga, take it with approximately this much salt:

exo-m as dads

Originally posted by 7thvelvet

Luhan:

- honestly the softest bean

- would always make them food and feed them even when they say they can already do that themselves

- soccer evenings tbh

- he would also play soccer with them all the damn time

- probably jumps around like a quirky fluff ball when his child says “dad” for the first time

- lu would make stupid faces to make his children laugh

- takes a picture of every damn shit…even their first poo bc he is just THAT sort of proud

- would teach his children all sorts of language he knows

- will deny that he ever had a song named lu when they ask

- would only let sehun or minseok babysit his children

- pinches their cheeks and always say how soft and cute they are

- will probably still look younger than his children (does he even age??)

Originally posted by xiuminet

Minseok:

- let’s all be real, this is minseok. he’d probably get the best dad award before his child is even born

- most likely to pain the entire children’s bed room by himself and even more likely that the color will be the same as his hair

- piggy back rides…AND A DAMN LOT OF THEM

- will cook for them and tries his best to make it healthy but still tasty (and ofc succeeds bc this is kim minseok we are talking about)

- when the kid gets injured he’d give a kiss on the band aid (which has depending if its a girl or a boy either bunnies or dinosaurs)

- would teach his kids how to ride a bike and make a video of it

- his children are probably going to get a nobel peace prize bc he raised them just THAT well

- would play tooth fairy, santa, easter bunny and whatever fairytale for them

- once they hit puberty he’d be the cool dad and all. would allow them more stuff, but not too much

- would buy them what they want, but will try hard to not spoil them 

Originally posted by squynhty

Yixing:

- father to the next generation of super musicians and actors

- is probably trying too hard to be a good father

- often busy, but would call and facetime all the time

- most likely to have his children in the same kindergarten, elementary and high school as baekhyun’s

- would always tell his children how beautiful they are

- always proud. literally. child fails a subject? no problem, he’d say they’ll do better on the next test

- very likely to have more photos of his children in his purse than cash

- would drive his children anyway and sing during the drive 

- would believe his children over anyone

Originally posted by fancymrskris

Kris:

- the type of dad to scare his kid’s friends away at first, but then turns out to be the softest potato in the kettle

- kids will speak english, chinese and korean before they entre kindergarten. safe call

- suho is the mom. fite me

- would be a rather chill father tbh

- when suho flips his shit about his children failing a subject or getting drunk kris is like “hey, we used to be children, too. and we were wild”

- first present is most likely a telescope so they can watch the galaxy

- burned toast for breakfast basically

- everyday is selca day

- philosophical quotes in the birthday cards bc why not

- would prolly communicate with emojis 

Originally posted by httpxamy

Tao:

- oh god this is going to be a ride

- too swag to change diapers he says, but he’d do it still

- tries hard not to cry, squeal or lose his shit when his child does something utterly cute

- death glare @ everyone who wanna mess with his children

- never ending competition on whose baby is better with sehun

- “My kid can already count.”

- “Well, my kid already knows the principle of pythagoras”

- designer diapers provided by gucci much

- gucci barbie dresses

- gucci toothbrush

- gucci everything

- probably the kid’s middle name is gucci

- kids will prolly get into martial arts

- a lot of dog x baby pics on his instagram

- disgusted faces at poop and puke but would judge everyone who’d say “ew” and look at them like “dat ew is my child u wanna fite?”

- if he doesn’t get gucci stuff at father’s day he is gonna be one sulky individual

- at first he would be very much confused and would call luhan to help him bc he clearly doesn’t know what to do to calm a baby down

- when the child hits puberty he would involuntarily witness that there exist more salty people than him and would cry and then ground them

- the only one cooler than him has to be his child ok

- random nicknames given that he’ll forget the following day tbh

- has no chill when his child causes trouble, prolly turns into a drill sergeant when he is pissed 

Originally posted by dayafterdae

Jongdae:

- what do you expect, he is a beagle

- prolly pouts when the child gets more attention than him

- the kid is likely to be more mature than him

- 5000 watt smile children

- excited over everything

- clingiest dad alive

- “dad, it’s just a sleepover…”

- “i know, perfect for father-son time!”

- his, bbh’s and pcy’s child would definitely become the new chaos trio

- angelic voice much

- would lose his child in the ice cream parlor 

- and then piss his pants bc wow he really managed to lose his child

- turns out child makes a public announcement in the mall

- “hey, i lost my clumsy dad, pls return… or no, just keep him.”