As soon as I caught my breath, I realized what just happened. Trey already popped up fast as hell and was getting dressed. Mortified, embarrassed, and apologetic, barely described how I felt at that moment. Even so, the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much worse this must have felt for Trey. Shit, having the girl you’ve been dating, call out her Ex’s name, while your face is buried between her legs, has to be top on the list of the worst things that can happen. Still dwelling on how crazy this was, I sat up on the bed putting my face in my hands. I let feelings that I had towards Moses resurface and get the best of me, fucking up our situation…Damn. I knew it was more than over between Trey and myself, which I was okay with. I also knew I needed to apologize but I had no clue where to start. He silently stood by the dresser aimlessly scrolling on his phone, making me somewhat apprehensive. It was clear that he was waiting for me to leave, but It wouldn’t be right if I just left without saying a word. Even though I had a hunch this would go south, I said fuck it and spoke to him.
“Oh so know you know my name?”
“Trey, I am so sorry…It just slipped out. ” I said, taking a deep breath as I got up.
“It just slipped out??? A curse just slips out! A fuck, or a shit. Not another mans Name!” He said walking over to me. “I may be a nice guy but I’m not a fucking fool. You called me Moses, your EX’s name, and Mogul which I’m guessing is his nickname. That’s twice!!!! You obviously still have feelings towards him…Am I right?”
“Am I right?”
“I don’t know.” I said, hesitantly.
“You don’t know?…Humph, yeah right.” He said looking away as he shook his head. “I knew something was still up between you two when he popped up at the cafe. Shit, the way you looked away when I introduced myself to him, as if you didn’t want to hurt him?? This is some complete bullshit! You knew you weren’t over him and yet you continued to date me. You had me flying out here for no damn reason. Why the hell would you waste my time like this?”
“Trey, it wasn’t even like that. You’re acting like I was plotting or some shit. I honestly didn’t even think about Moses until then.”
“Until when?? At the cafe? or when I was eating you out?? Which I’m glad you enjoyed by the way. You know what, don’t even answer that. I’m pretty sure I know what you meant, which means you knew you were using me to try and get over him. You’re wrong as hell, Teeleah. Shit, even more so, standing here practically naked in front of me, when I didn’t even get my dick wet. This shit could have at least happened after that.”
“Oh really?? Humph, fuck you!” I said, as I turned around to gather my clothes. “I’m over here trying to sincerely apologize and you wanna act like a fuckin ass…What the fuck more do you want me to say?? It was a terrible mistake that I’m truly sorry for!”
After I quickly got dressed, I sat on the bed. He pulled out his phone and began aimlessly scrolling again. I felt awful and being over-emotional, I started to tear up. Trey took notice and sat next to me.
“Look, I could’ve handled this better….I’m sorry and I know you are too. I took it a little too far, especially with my last remark. To be honest, my dick was getting hard again staring at you practically naked, which made me more pissed.” He said, laughing.
“Yeah”, I said nervously laughing, “My bad…I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s cool…So, are you ready for me to take you home?”
“Na, I think I’m just gonna call a cab…I need time to think and it seems like I do that best while riding around.”
“I completely understand.” He said, as we both got up.
After we hugged and said our goodbyes, I left his hotel room. While I was happy to part ways with him on a better note than I expected, I still felt like shit. Here I was back at “square one”…Alone again and still in love with Moses.
After I sent that apology text to Moses and not hearing back, even though it took a few weeks, I accepted the fact that we are completely done. I lost, not only the love of my life, but my best friend. We were heavy in each other’s lives for a year before we got together, so to lose all of that plus another year of a relationship, was devastating. It was hard, but I managed to work through the guilt, anger, hurt, and frustration to finally get back to normal. Humph, so much so that I have officially started dating again…Starting off with this fine ass man in front of me. Trey and I met during a trip with my girls to Starlight Shores, and immediately hit it off. I’ve always been weary of long distance dating but this man is way too sexy to pass up on. Although he looks like the typical “playboy” that I usually seem to date, he is far from it…He’s a quiet and semi-nerdy engineer. Even though his sexy ass is tempting as hell, I’m definitely taking it slow with this one…That means time to do thorough research, make sure we are truly feeling one another, and an eternity before giving “it” up. Today, he flew in for our third date. We went to see a movie and then came here for a nice but expensive lunch. As he talked, all I could do was stare. I mean its been two months since Moses and I broke up, and three months since I had sex…A girl is horny as hell, ha. I tried for the life of me to pay attention to his conversation but couldn’t until he noticed and called me out on it.
“Teeleah? Are you ok?” Trey said, looking concerned.
“Wha?…Oh, yes everything is fine. Why do you ask?” I said, trying to play it off.
“You zoned out on me for a sec…But it’s no big deal. So just what were you thinking about, lovely? I’m hoping it was me…”
“Humph, I bet you would like that…Maybe, maybe not. You’ll find out though, but not today.” I said, smirking, causing him to blush.
“If you’re referring to what I think you are, then waiting has never been a problem for me. Hold on…That did not come out right…It makes me sound inexperienced and shit. I may not be a dog but I’ve had enough experience, not to put me in that category.”
“It’s ok, Trey…I know what you meant.” I said. as we both laughed.
“Good…I’m glad we’re on the same page. Well, since we’re finished, I’m going to go inside and pay. You just wait here for me, I’ll be back.” He said, winking at me.
Now I have to admit, Trey is pretty corny, but this could turn out to be a good thing. Hell, maybe he’s what I’ve been needing in my life. As I sat thinking, trying to convince myself that dating him is going to be worth it, one of my good friends, Gerri, came over to speak.
We chatted for a few minutes before a surprised look swept across her face. I instantly became on edge, prompting me to to ask:
“What the hell is wrong with you, chick? You had that same look when you saw your Ex the last time we hung out….Is he here?”
“Hell no….Thank goodness….But umm yours is. Shit, he’s walking over here now.”
I couldn’t say anything to her in response, as I stood there frozen trying to figure out what to do. I wasn’t expecting to see Moses until Nica’s wedding a few weeks from now, so this definitely caught me off guard. As usual my mind started racing, thinking of all the reasons why he wanted to speak to me after two months of getting nothing from him. I quickly stopped and came to the realization that talking to him regardless of what he wanted, will give me the closure I needed. He spoke to Gerri first, greeting her then turned his attention to me saying:
“Leah, I know it’’s been a while, and I can see your apprehension but can I please talk to you for a second?”