Bill: A Summary

Bill: I’ll have this guy open up a rift between dimensions.

*Ford shuts it down and gets pushed into dimensions*

Bill: Crud. Well okay, he’ll be back eventually. I can wait.

*Ford comes back after 30 years and dismantles the portal*

Bill: Shoot! Well there’s still that rift.

*Does manage to break rift and start Weirdmageddon*

Bill: Heck yeah! Now I just need to not be defeated by being tricked into Stan’s mind and turned into a statue!

*is defeated by being tricked into Stan’s mind and turned into a statue*

Bill: Well crap! Okay, SOMEONE in Gravity Falls will let me out!

*is sent into the bottomless pit and sent to our dimension*

Bill: SHIT! Okay someone will be stupid and find me easy!

*fans have to go through multiple ciphers and a literal puzzle just to get his location after he’s been there for 8 months*

Bill: Ugh! Okay I’ll still get that hand shake.

*gets hand shook by a baby*

Bill: DAMNIT! Okay well at least I’ll still be here…

*is arrested for trespassing*

Bill: OH COME ON?! Well this Alex guy will talk some sense into these meat bags in blue!

*is stapled to a tree*

Bill: FUCK!

Beauty and the Beast AU

So this is supposed to be an introduction to how Stan turned into The Beast. I tried to make it sound like it could be in storybook! It is based off of the AU by @artsycrapfromsai. Do not expect this to fit exactly into their canon because I have only seen bits and pieces of the whole! I just really liked it so yeah, this is my contribution.


Keep reading

Under a wide sky

This is the first chapter of an AU set in 1950s Australia. It’s an idea that’s been brewing in my mind for a while and @leiascully‘s XFWriting Challenge prompt International has forced my hand. 

Chapter One

The night sky was a wonder. There were so many stars in patterns he didn’t recognise. If he blinked more and more appeared until all he saw were black spots in the silver sky instead of the other way round. Australia was a wide open dream, a new future perhaps. Everything seemed to be in front of him. Everything was big. Everything was new and untested. Fox Mulder felt right at home.

           He lay back on the stubby grass, sparse and sharp under his singlet. The ground was beyond hard. He’d been at the sheep station for only a couple of days, yet to meet the owner, but he’d surveyed some of the land in his short time and seen the deep fissures that spread across the paddocks, red earth cleaved apart by a brutal sun. In the night time, the moister air closed some of the cracks and the air filled with the smell of warm earth. He knew he should be careful of snakes at this time of night, but the cabin he bunked in was oppressive both in its heat and its company that he often wandered along the creek bank (dried out for the summer) looking for a moment to clear his head and breathe before turning in for the night. Snakes be damned, he thought as he wriggled his back, relieving a sweat-induced itch.

He pressed his eyes shut for a moment, thought of his sister, Samantha. How she would have loved this place. Its beauty and its danger. He smiled at the thought of her face. “If you’re going to die from snakebite in Australia it might as well be while you’re admiring the most beautiful sight in the world.”

Mulder shot up, aware of the scrape and rustle of his body against the dry land.

“Who’s there?” It was a woman’s voice, breathy and a little afraid, perhaps.

He peered into the blackness, still unable to anchor his gaze on anything other than the imprint of the night sky behind his eyes. He blinked and heard it. The unmistakeable sound of a shotgun being loaded and engaged.

“I’m armed.”

“If I raise my arms, how will you know?” He tried for humour, his default setting, but he knew it was lame as soon as the words left his mouth.

“I’ll smell you,” came the quick response. Perhaps she wasn’t afraid anymore. A gun would do that.

“I’ve got both hands above my head. No gun. I’m not doing anything. I just came for a walk by the creek, to admire the stars. If you step closer you’ll see I’m telling the truth.”

“You talk too much, Mr Bushranger.”

“I’m just talking so you can hear where I am. And I am not a bushranger. I’m a worker on the station.”

There was a moment of silence, just long enough for Mulder to lower his arm and retrieve his torch from the back pocket of his shorts.

“What are you doing?” the voice demanded. “You said you didn’t have a gun.” Her voice was a notch higher than before.

Mulder fought back the urge to chuckle. “I’m not going to shoot you with a Coleman torch. I promise.” He flicked it on, moved a step closer and there she was, all five-foot-two of her, red hair falling around her face, brows low in concentration and a double-barrel shotgun held steadfast in her arms. If he hadn’t been a trained observer he would have missed the slight tremble of her fingers against the trigger.

“Who are you, Mr Bushranger? What are you doing out here in the middle of night? Where’s your truck?” She shoved the gun closer to him, so that it was almost touching his chest. He kept the beam of light from his torch steady on her face, and he could see the freckles on her skin and the beauty mark above her lip.

“Who are you, Miss Shotgun? What are you doing out here in the middle of the night? Where’s your truck?”

She held his gaze, her cool blue eyes fixing him so that he felt more pinned by them than the gun. This woman was a firecracker. And he suddenly felt even more at home in this strange wide land.

Keep reading

find that triangle!

i return after a semi-refreshing nap to let you know that no one has figured out where Bill is. we’re still theorizing. i’m currently taking suggestions on where Bill could bebut wait! before you send that suggestion, read the info below to see what we’ve figured out already.

first off—this image is, literally honest-to-god i promise, the only thing we need to find Bill:

also take into account, this (the other side of the top left corner, which was a physical clue:


here are some things we know about this image already:

  • we know what the code (all of it) says: you can find that here.
  • the three sketches on the top half are of the Kazan Cathedral in St Petersburg, the location of the first physical clue. we’ve used those images already.

here are some other things we already know:

  • please remember this clue is supposed to take us to Bill. it makes thematic sense the Bill is in the PNW; anywhere outside of north CA/OR/WA (save for Piedmont, i suppose) is a leap for logic regarding this; Alex wouldn’t make us reach like that. i love each and every one of you, but he’s probably not in Russia.
  • getting to Bill can’t require trespassing. Bill has to be on public land, probably close to trails or a park.
  • getting to Bill can’t require vandalism, on our part or on Alex’s.

here is an updated list of what we have tried already or can rule out:

  • looking at anything but the image itself has been ruled out completely by Alex himselfincluding journal 3! no outside sources needed.
  • that Bill is at/near any Disney park or DTA itself. Alex did this on his own, with no connection to Disney.
  • looking through the clip of the statue from the finale; again, Alex said all we need is the first and last clue.
  • UV light on the latest clue
  • holding a print-out of the image up to sunlight
  • steganography on the original image
  • looking up the foliage in the background behind the clue and in the clip of the statue from the finale—it’s just common PNW foliage, pine trees and ferns.
  • manipulating the image itself (mirroring, upside-down)
    • inverting the colors
    • adjusting the brightness
    • increasing contrast
    • and much much more
  • double-decrypting the code
  • the alchemical symbols (just decorative, like in the show)
  • the red boxes at the top (just decorative, like in the show)
  • the negative space between the trees making letters/symbols/numbers
    • barcode has been investigated. 
    • if you have something specific, message me!
  • the trees and branches themselves making letters/symbols/numbers
    • celtic/nordic/runic letters have been investigated.
    • flag semaphore/sephmore line
    • monk cipher
    • if you have something specific, message me! but check below for ‘places considered’ first!
  • morse code using the branches/knots
  • that there are tiny letters/symbols within the sketch of Bill
    • this is extremely hard to determine, but a team of cipher hunters are looking at the image for it. if you have something specific, message me!
  • the degree of the angles of the tree branches making an equation/code/coordinates
  • folding a physical copy of the clue into a hat/otherwise
  • reading the riddles and reversing the audio to look for a hidden message
  • counting pine needles, counting knots, counting branches to get an equation/coordinates
  • counting the number of dashes that make up the dotted line
  • that the clue indicates something in a tree, a la Dipper finding journal 3; that would be cool, but 
    • this is supposed to take us to Bill
    • Alex wouldn’t vandalize
    • i need to know what tree, or at least a general area to check!
  • overlaying the torn corner with the sketch of Bill in various ways, including to make the dotted path line up with the splotches
  • matching the shape of the splotches on Bill to geographical features/other parts of the clue
  • matching the tear line with rivers/other geographical features in OR/PNW; if you have something specific, message me!
  • overlaying the trail in the top corner with various trails in OR/PNW: if you have something specific, message me!
  • places considered but not searched (or re-searched):
    • Piedmont (all Piedmont. all of it. Including Piedmont Pines, Piedmont Neighborhood in Portland, and Piedmont Park.)
    • Jersey (any of Jersey)
    • Gold Hill, OR
    • Mabel, OR
    • Siskiyou Park, OR
    • Pine Hill, OR
    • The Mystery Shack, Rhododendron, OR
    • VV Mabel Park in Marcola, Oregon 97454 VV
    • Redwood National and State Parks in CA
    • Redwood National and State Parks in CA
    • Sawtooth Forest, ID
    • Cathedral Pines, ID
    • Six Finger Falls, AR
    • Hand Lake, OR
    • Twin Craters, OR
    • places in/near Portland, such as Hoyt Arboretum (again, specificity!)
    • Alex’s backyard
  • places searched already:
    • Tree of Mystery
    • Boring, OR
    • LaPine Park, OR
    • St Paul, OR
    • Sherman Oaks, CA
    • Oregon Vortex
    • Twin Falls
    • Crater Lake
    • Snoqualmie
    • Stanford University
    • House of Pies
    • Hilda Park/618 Hilda St. OR
    • Russia/St Petersburg/Kazan Cathedral

if you’re unsure your idea would be conducive to helping crack this mystery, consider these questions:

  • does my theory use evidence from the clue? does my theory go against anything previously tried?
  • if my suggestion is the case, would the result be accessible to a majority of fans?
  • if my suggestion is a location, does it make thematic sense with the hunt as already established? or with Gravity Falls itself?
  • if my suggestion is the case, would Alex be okay with fans doing it? is it safe and respectful to the environment/property?

send me your idea here! i’ll continue to update this list as we try more things (and if anyone goes out to search a lead, i’ll post about it!). i know this post is long, but it’s the most comprehensive one yet of all the info we need and all the things we’ve tried, so share this post if you can!

thank you so much for all of your suggestions and ideas. we can work this out together!! we just have to keep trying! ∆

Why are you voting for Obama? Serious question...

Sincere question for everyone who is constantly posting support for Barack Obama for this upcoming election. (Note: I am *NOT* voting for Romney, he symbolizes so much that I am against. I became an Independent after the BP Drilling Disaster & learned everything about the horrific poisoning of our OWN people & how VERY little Obama did (VERY little he continues to do) for justice for the victims & the fact that he is the biggest recipient of BP campaign donations. Bernie Sanders is one of the few politicians who gives me hope, so I am Independent now.)

If you ARE voting for Obama, what are your thoughts about the NDAA, CISPA, The Trespass Bill, the fact that we have DOUBLE the amount of soldiers in Afghanistan since he took office, drones in countries other than Afghanistan (killing innocent people, including children) and the assassination of 16 yr old Abdulrahman?

Are you voting for the “Lesser of two evils” or do you just not care that we’ve lost an insane amount of Constitutional rights LAST YEAR and are killing in more countries than ever before, but it’s ok because he can sing Al Green and said he supports Gay Marriage? Does EVERYTHING ELSE mean nothing to you?

“They can declare any place, any time, and the people can be arrested without notice.

That is BS. This is a way to stop protests from getting anywhere near the President. If he doesn’t want to be protested, he needs to find another job. The president and his family do need to be safe, but not at the cost of the Constitution. If the President needs to be kept safe from the general public and not just the nut cases, we are in real trouble.”

~ Paula Qualls Gurley on the new, controversial HR 347 law, which takes away our First Amendment Rights