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anonymous asked:

hi there! what's problematic about the phrase "women and femmes"? a lot of queer-identified folks i know use it a lot when referring to patriachial oppression, and at first it made sense to me but now i'm not so sure it does. thanks!!

femme is a specific identity that arose in a particular context within working-class communities in the 1930s & 40s centered around dating & having sex with other women & it’s silly to use it as a catch-all term for “feminine” (although I recognise that saying this is fighting a losing battle, lmao).

using “femme” to vaguely mean “feminine / feminine-presenting people” is 1. to misappropriate that terminology and 2. (and more importantly at this point imho) to imply that femininity or feminine presentation are hallmarks of “real” women, as positioned against gender nonconforming & butch women (who are decried for being “masculine” and therefore basically men). holding up “femininity” as a prerequisite for womanhood is, besides being flat-out misogynistic, always going to exclude and demonise lesbians (because even femmes aren’t acceptably feminine & are gender nonconforming in many aspects of their behaviour), & especially butches.

This is how you date.

1. Treat your significant other with respect. This is key. This is essential, and this is way overlooked. When they are in the car with you and they are playing their favorite music, don’t, DON’T YOU DARE tell them their music sucks or that you’re “sick of listening to this shitty music”. Let them be happy. Let them smile. If they are into watching a show that you just can’t get into, don’t insult it. Don’t put a person down just because you don’t get it. Watch the happiness int their eyes as they watch and listen to things they love. You’ll watch that disappear after you chose to insult their likes.

2. Talk. Communicate. Share memories. Share stories. Share songs that make you believe in love. Share movies that inspire you. Tell them what’s going on. You failed your test? lets talk about it. You’re mad at your mom? Why? Talk about your past, but don’t forget to ask what they hope for in the future. 

3. Establish a good relationship to the people that they are close to. Meet their family. Hang out with their siblings. Be friends with their friends. Take their dog on a walk around the neighborhood with them. 

4. GO ON DATES. This is underrated but essential. Take them places. Go on adventures. Take them to dinner. Go do something fun. Show them off. That’s your person, embrace it. Hold their hand at the mall. Cuddle them close at a scary movie. Kiss their forehead at the park. Walk hand in hand at the beach. Compete against each other in laser tag. Go to a drive in movie theater to do something new. 

5. But also take those nights in too. Cuddle up and watch a movie on netflix. Kiss while you’re playing a video game. See who’s more strategic at a game of chess. Laugh as you play a game of jenga and the entire thing falls down. Bake cookies and sing and dance to your favorite songs. Sure, going out and having something to do is fun, but nights in with your babe are irreplaceable. They aren’t boring if you don’t make it boring, or if worst comes to worst, be bored together. 

6. Help them grow. Don’t judge them. Everybody is different. If they are having a hard time in school, don’t yell at them, but encourage them to do better. Be there as a helping hand and a good influence to help guide them. People get lost sometimes, and it’s important that if they feel lost, they do not feel alone. Support their decisions even if the career they want doesn’t make $80,000/year.

7. Don’t compare them to other people. Do not say that you regretted choosing them over somebody else. That hurts, and when you hurt somebody in that kind of way you’ll never get the same person back. Don’t talk up somebody of the opposite gender to make them sound better than you’re boyfriend/girlfriend. Make your bf/gf feel most important. 

8. Show affection. It’s not  old school. It’s not gross. It’s not over done. It makes the relationship. Make your boyfriend/girlfriend feel happy to be with you. Make them smile. Make them laugh. Make them blush. Give them compliments often so they don’t question their worth to you. If they are important make them and their feelings a priority. Don’t be afraid to hold their hand or kiss their cheek if somebody is watching. Don’t underestimate the power of appreication, because it goes a long way. Issues in a relationship will disappear if you remind them of the little things you like about them. Build them up. That’s your baby. Never be afraid to make them feel good.

9. That’s your boy/girl. Period. Don’t leave room for the opportunity to make somebody else make them feel better than you do. Don’t let another man tell your girl she looks beautiful today before you tell her. And ladies, don’t let another girl have the opportunity to tell your man how sexy his new haircut looks before you do. 

10. Lastly, love them unconditionally. Love them even if they break down and cry sometimes. Be there and calm them down during an anxiety attack. Be there for them at 2 in the morning when they’re falling apart and need somebody to talk to, but be there for them when its 3pm and they love thier life. Love them even if they sing a little loud in the shower. Love them even if they find stupid tings entertaining for funny. Love them if they need help with homework. Love them if they fail a class because they don’t know what they are doing. Encourage better, but don’t not love them because of it. They are hard enough on themselves, especially those who have a hard time loving them self. Love them. Love them even if they overslept and missed church on Sunday morning. Love them even if you’re fighting. Love them if their hair is a mess. Love them in the morning before they put make up on or btrushed their hair or teeth. Love them even if they accidentally burn the toast in the morning. Love them when they don’t love themself. Love them if they get a speeding ticket. Love them and give them everything you have. Love with your whole heart or not at all. 

And this, is how you should be when you date somebody.

  • Aries: Challenges, taking risks, winning a bet, winning an argument, winning anything, competition, coming first in everything, excitement and adrenaline, being admired, being liked, having freedom to do whatever they like, feeling in control of their life, feeling like they have the world at their fingertips, spontaneity, adventure, an uncomplicated life.
  • Taurus: A peaceful life, relaxation, tranquility, time to think things over, reliability, stability, dependability, having someone they know they can trust, working with your hands, being hands-on, taking things slow, good music, comfort food, luxury, beautiful surroundings, all of the good things in life, being in love.
  • Gemini: Conversation, reading, writing, talking, being listened to, imagination, solving problems, playfulness, youthfulness, people with a sense of humor, being entertained, feeling curious, being told that you're interesting, being told that you're well-liked, variety, novelty, change, multi-tasking, light-heartedness, people who can have a good time.
  • Cancer: Being told that you are appreciated, being told that you are loved and cared for, nurturing and helping others, depending on people loyal to you, revisiting an old friend, your family reaching out for you, the past, nostalgia, reading about historical figures, feeling safe, staying home, having a private sanctuary, soft kisses, warm hugs.
  • Leo: Beauty, flattery, compliments, being the star of a show, receiving all the attention you'd like, extravagance, glamour, bright and bold colors, giving advice, playing the hero/heroine, protecting loved ones, loyalty, flirting and romance, being the best possible, having the best possible.
  • Virgo: Being acknowledged as intelligent, being told that you are helpful, having someone notice things that seem effortless but really aren't, self-improvement, positive mantras, the concept of perfection, down-to-earth people, clean sheets, fresh scents, good books, deep thinking, the feeling of being understood, someone acknowledging your effort and hard work.
  • Libra: Smoothing things over, living a laid-back life, avoiding drama, harmony between everyone, peace and quiet, relationships, romantic movies, being in love, playing the devil's advocate, picking arguments for fun, honesty, gentleness, kindness, beauty, the finer things in life, large parties, being respected instead of underestimated.
  • Scorpio: Having someone that you can trust, having someone that you can tell all your secrets to, loyalty, devotion, sarcasm, discovering hidden things, late nights out, figuring out how other people work, psychology, kindness, softness, challenges, one-upmanship, being right, truthfulness, personal privacy, faithfulness.
  • Sagittarius: Exploring, going on an adventure, unplanned events, spontaneous joy, seeing the bigger picture, a philosophical point of view, travel, people who like to laugh, friendliness, fun and energy, easy-going people, having big dreams, forgiveness, honesty, being direct and to the point.
  • Capricorn: Being respected, having status, being an authority, being known as the mature one, being known as the reliable one, being in control of your life, solid relationships, organization, having ambition, personal space, persistence, constantly improving yourself, having independence, holding responsibility.
  • Aquarius: Individuality, being recognized as unique, being recognized as special, being one of a kind, living life only to your own standards, being unconventional, listening to others, thoughtful people, having deep conversations, new ideas, new concepts, new trends, spending time alone, dreaming about changing the world.
  • Pisces: Imagination, things that inspire them- art, cinema, literature, history, music, dreaming about being someone larger than life, solitude, having time alone to think, empathy, compassion, people who understand them without further explanation, people who can read between the lines, creativity, having no rules, having no restrictions, living a life where they have no boundaries.
Lea Michele Explains Her Sci-Fi Debut in 'Dimension 404'
The ‘Scream Queens’ also talks about her new album, ‘Places.’

You’ve heard Lea Michele sing! You’ve seen her Scream! Now, watch her travel through the cosmic planes of space and time, sort of!

Michele is the surprise star of the premiere episode of Hulu’s Dimension 404, a new science-fiction comedy anthology series premiering Tuesday on the streaming service. The show, which takes decidedly more tongue-in-cheek cues from Black Mirror and The Twilight Zone, has cast Michele as the seemingly perfect match of a lonely music blogger (Robert Buckley) in the hourlong premiere devoted to the malicious secrets behind a fictional dating service.

Yes, Dimension 404 marks the actress’ first foray into all the glorious adjectives that come part and parcel with the sci-fi genre, but as Michele tells it, the fantasy turn might mark her most realistic role in some time after years spent in the heightened playgrounds of Glee and Scream Queens (the future fate of which, by the way, remains undecided).

There’s a giddy momentum behind the 30-year-old as she floats ahead into the next stage of her career, which includes a buzzy new ABC pilot from Hamilton star Daveed Diggs (in which she plays a political staffer opposite a rapping mayor) and her second studio album, Places (out April 28), which could be her biggest passion project yet. Consider Michele’s Hulu experiment in Dimension 404 to be but the first in a string of upcoming projects that will challenge the dimensions (sorry) of the Michele fans may have come to expect.

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romanticdisasterzone  asked:

Why is everyone debating over if what Kubo did to Orihime in the end is misogynistic? (school and job-wise)

The issue of Orihime ending up as a house-wife is a culturally deep-set controversy. It’s not a piss-baby topic. It’s not ‘look at the IR fans being blatant misogynists.’

Women are often the mark of progress in society. The study of demography observes a linear trend with women, education, and ‘baby-making.’ 

(For those who don’t know demography is the statistical study of populations (especially on human-beings) as they change over time or space). 

It’s especially an issue because of the Japanese perspective to it (I am not Japanese.This is not a first person source, this is me speaking from the education I have received regarding this topic and from the research and studies of experts).

2011 study by Yang and Yen explains that a leading reason of the decline in Japanese marriages is because “Japanese men do not want to marry a woman who demands equal sharing of the housework. Women who work outside of the house are not seen as contributing to the household.”

(Note that like the U.S., Japan is also in a state of population decline, which as of now just means the rate of population growth is slowing down, not that the numbers have started to drop).

If you know anything at all about demography and population studies, you know that when women have the opportunity to a greater education, they take it. When those women become more educated they become more career-driven. 

(This is what I mean with ‘women being the mark of a progressive society.’ Historically and statistically, educated women are a sign of progress towards equal rights and that is one of the signs of a developed country).

So the higher the education goes, the more women are going to shoot for higher-ranking/more specialized career paths. And with the focus shifting from ‘home-maker’ to more on career and masterful education, the less children women are prompted to have.

It was common for a woman during the baby-boomer generation to have as many as 6 children, it is incredibly rare now. Do I need to explain that this generation has more women entrepreneurs, more women going to college, more women in positions of authority, etc.?

Let’s take all this and apply it to the outrage surrounding Orihime.

She’s quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, and to top it all off she has the required work ethic down to a science (remember Tatsuki said 'She doesn’t really seem smart does she? You wouldn’t expect this of Orihime, but since middle school this girl could really study.’).

Not only has Orihime been shown to be incredibly book-smart (number 3 in her class), but she’s among the most situationally perceptive characters of the series. People like to forget this because of all the goofiness and daydreams, but it’s true! She notices patterns in people pretty quickly.

So for Matsubara to just go 'fuck it, she had to drop out for 'financial reasons’’ is cheap and complacent. (There are a shit-ton of practical and superior options available to allow yourself to go to college. Money is often only a temporary halt for men and women as knowledgeable and determined as Ms. Inoue. By the by, never have I ever witnessed a payment, in full or in majority bill, paid outright).

Payment should have never been the excuse of Orihime’s promise. 

Fuck all other opinions, Orihime wanted a career and an education! I give no shits to an opinion on Orihime’s future that isn’t Orihime’s.

It’s not Orihime’s fault, it is not her character, it’s the fault in the minds drawing and portraying her not caring to show two shits of self-realization or worth in their literature prowess. 

It’s such a controversy because in the fucking manga Orihime wanted a career. Forthright, outright, verbatim.

And here’s the kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck appeal of it all: Orihime didn’t give just one loosely translated career, she gave three concrete careers. T-H-R-E-E! 

Teacher, astronaut, cake-shop owner…

Gave us three and said she wanted five. 

She is the only character that has been shown to have aspirations of the future.

You can pretend she was joking about the careers, but try and bitch to me that she didn’t dream of one.

Quite frankly,having a favorite does not mean you need to blindly support and defend the creators intentions for that character. To not be able to criticize is to be passive, is to misinformed, to be complacent.

Do you think Orihime was thrilled about needing to drop out? Do you think she was complacent about that? You think Ichigo is a fine enough substitute for all her dreams? He wasn’t the only fucking one. 

Now had there been any mention of Orihime saving up to get back to school , this post would’ve been completely different, probably irrelevant.

And,just an added point: Kazui plays into that old-fashioned mindset of ‘baby-maker.’

Orihime wanted to leave Karakura. She wanted to live in five different places and stuff her face from foods from all over the world.

Of course she loves her son and is thankful for him, but she was young and sacrificed the peace and goals of herself. Selflessness was used against her.

And that’s all the issue is. It’s a trend we all know, it’s a deep subconscious reaction whether you love Orihime like I do or whether you hate her like others.

It’s not wrong or less of her to be a house-wife…it’s just not what she wanted.

It was not one single fucking person’s goal to stay in mundane, drab,puny, little Karakura Town.

anonymous asked:


1920s mobster AU because I’m a sucker for it! (terms may not be accurate)

*moll - a gangster’s girl, *choice bit of calico - a desirable woman, *flat foots - cops, *big sleep - death, *tell it to Sweeney - tell it to someone who’s gullible, *bump off - kill, *hooch - booze, *embalmer - bootlegger, *sap - fool, idiot, *go chase yourself - get lost, *head full of lead - bullet in the head, *rub - dance party, *lollygagger - a young man who enjoys making out. 


You lounged on the arm of Sirius’ chair, one leg slung lazily over his lap, an arm around his shoulder. Your dress clung to your body, in the current flapper trend. Your hair was curled and pinned expertly. Your lips painted a deep rouge. 

“Where ya been, fella? Moll and I are going out tonight.” Sirius jerked his head toward you, “My girl got all dolled up for me and you’ve kept ‘er waiting.”

The short, portly man before you gave you a sideways glance, a snarl on his lips. 

“Come on, Padfoot, she’s a choice bit of calico, but should she really be in here right now? We don’t need her running her pretty little mouth to the flat foots.”

You fingers twirled the pearls on your necklace nonchalantly. Sure, you were offended, but you knew Sirius would take care of it for you. 

Sirius’ stare turned hard, an edge in his voice, “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear that, but I suggest you apologize to the lady.”

“And if I don’t?” the businessman challenged. 

“You might just find yourself catching the big sleep,” Sirius took a drag of his cigar. The threat lingered in the air, its implications clear.

The man paled, and with a grimace muttered, “I’m sorry, miss.”

You rolled your eyes, “Tell it to Sweeney.”

“Not very convincing, old boy. Now, scram before I bump you off myself,” Sirius instructed, the threat like ice on his tongue.

“But - but what about the hooch?” the man stuttered.

“I suggest you find another embalmer,” Sirius drawled. 

“I already handed over the dough!” he shouted incredulously.

Sirius nudged you and you swiftly stood up. Before you knew it, Sirius was across the room and had the guy up against the wall, a gun to his head. As you watched the scene unfold, you sat down in the now vacant chair, your legs crossing elegantly. 

“Listen here, you sap!” Sirius roared. “Go chase yourself before you get a head full of lead! 

The guy gulped and forced a nod before scrambling from Sirius’ grasp.

Returning his gun to his holster, Sirius sauntered back over to you. 

“Sorry about the delay, babe. Let’s hit the rub,” he held his hand out you. 

Pulling you to your feet easily, he pressed a rough kiss to your lips as you melted into his chest.

Pushing him off, you chuckled, “Easy, lollygagger.” 

Originally posted by nellaey

Blurb Weekend!