hi there! what's problematic about the phrase "women and femmes"? a lot of queer-identified folks i know use it a lot when referring to patriachial oppression, and at first it made sense to me but now i'm not so sure it does. thanks!!
femme is a specific identity that arose in a particular context within working-class communities in the 1930s & 40s centered around dating & having sex with other women & it’s silly to use it as a catch-all term for “feminine” (although I recognise that saying this is fighting a losing battle, lmao).
using “femme” to vaguely mean “feminine / feminine-presenting people” is 1. to misappropriate that terminology and 2. (and more importantly at this point imho) to imply that femininity or feminine presentation are hallmarks of “real” women, as positioned against gender nonconforming & butch women (who are decried for being “masculine” and therefore basically men). holding up “femininity” as a prerequisite for womanhood is, besides being flat-out misogynistic, always going to exclude and demonise lesbians (because even femmes aren’t acceptably feminine & are gender nonconforming in many aspects of their behaviour), & especially butches.