when I say “abuser” I don’t mean “a person who hurt someone once or twice” or “a person who made a mistake” or “a person who means well but communicates badly”, what I mean is a person who has continually and systematically treated another person as less than human. They will absolutely try to portray themselves as a person who only made a few mistakes or someone who means well and doesn’t realize what they’re doing, but that’s not who they are. This person had no problem taking someone’s emotional, mental and physical health for their own benefit, they convinced themselves and even their victims they have the right to that much, they act if there’s nothing wrong with taking away human rights from another, and permanently lowering the quality of another’s life, they will even act as if other’s owe them that much! Even if they act completely unaware of what kind of consequences their victims are suffering, the truth is - they don’t care, because if they did, they wouldn’t jump to blame everything and everyone and the victim for how badly they’re suffering.
You don’t have to ever show empathy for abusers. You don’t need to treat them as human beings. You do not need to consider their point of view. You don’t need to cater to their feelings. You don’t have to watch out not to hurt their feelings. You don’t need to protect them from what they’ve done. You don’t need to make excuses for them. You don’t need to take responsibility for any of their actions. You don’t need to forgive them. You don’t need to humanize them. They’ve proven to be lacking basic humane qualities. You don’t need to look at yourself from their point of view. You don’t need to judge them based on how nice they are to other people, if they’re cruel to you. You don’t need to give them benefit of the doubt. You don’t have to consider their past. You don’t have to understand them. All and every thought and action should be aimed towards protection from them. By dehumanizing you, they made themselves into monsters. By traumatizing you, they became a danger to your life. You don’t need to be considerate to a danger to your life. You don’t need to spend time making sure you don’t hurt someone who caused tremendous damage to your life and acted like it was their right to do it. Abusers aren’t as human as they think they are. Abusers are nothing but a burden on society, no matter what they pretend to be. They deserve to be abandoned, to have everything they’ve taken from victims withdrawn from them, and to experience every bit of pain they’ve caused to others.