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So I watched The Devil in the Dark again today and I ended up with five … FIVE PAGES of how slashy the first twenty minutes of this episode is. Are you hot for it yet? Jesus knows I am. Read on, because this shit is juicy.

Earlier in the episode they discuss the possibility that if life exists that is silicon instead of carbon based, their phasers might be ineffective against it. After confronting the creature and using their phasers against it, that theory is confirmed. Even with the two of them using their phasers on the highest setting, they couldn’t kill the creature – it is phaser resistant. Spock knows this.

Kirk instructs his men to attack on sight and throughout the episode, Spock is consumed with the idea that this creature is a life form that should be spared. He can’t stop thinking about it, and he goes to great lengths to argue his case. He forms his theory, asks questions of the miners, sets his tricorder to detect silicone based life, debates Jim on the subject – it is clear that Spock feels very passionate about this issue as a Science Officer. This is important to him on a professional and scientific level, as well as moral. He still maintains his stance, even after one of Jim’s men is killed, and many other miners. He believes it is even worth risking lives, in the event that it is the last of its kind. Jim disagrees.

Spock suggests it may be the last of a race of creatures. As he says: “If so, if it is the only survivor of it’s race, to kill it would be a crime against science.”

Kirk reminds him it is their duty to protect the colony, and Spock is clearly reluctant. Even though Kirk tells him it must die, when they are organizing the search party, Spock actually rebels against Kirk’s orders a little – he suggests to the men that they should try to capture it, at which Kirk gives him a very irate look and says: “Your orders are shoot to kill.” Spock feels so strongly about preserving the horta that he actually dared to change the orders after Kirk had told him privately that the creature had to die!

Kirk even had to reprimand him after as Spock blatantly admitted to trying to go over Kirk’s head on the matter of killing the horta.

Jim tries to get Spock to return to the ship as this is protocol. If the Captain has left the ship, the First Officer should naturally be in charge, and as both are the least expendable crew members, there is no reason the First Officer should needlessly risk their lives as well as the Captain’s on a mission.

Spock’s reaction: I … I beg your pardon sir. (CLEARLY FUCKING FLOORED)

Kirk dishes it exactly as Spock needs it: the reactor is vital to keep going. It is only logical to ensure the First Officer is safe and also his expertise is being put to good use.

Spock is legitimately confrontational about this. He is visibly ruffled.

Kirk: Your scientific knowledge—

Spock: Is not needed there, sir. (Oh ain’t that cute. It’s like he’s allowed to fight with his Captain about this instead of, you know. Following orders. Like a good little First Officer.)

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. Kirk gets real for a minute and lays it out.

Kirk: Mr. Spock, you are second in command. This will be a dangerous hunt. Either one of us by himself is expendable. Both of us are not.

And then Spock just goes to town on his ass with stats.

Spock: Captain. There are approximately one hundred of us engaged in this search against one creature. The odds against you and I both being killed are 2,228.7 to 1.

Sooo … I love how Jim just flat out said this is going to be dangerous, I don’t want to risk you. And Spock just flings it out. Bitch, I ain’t bein’ left behind if your ass is on the line here.

And might I add after that debate they even take the time out of this bloodthirsty, risky manhunt to flirt with each other:

Kirk: Please, try to stay out of trouble.

Spock: That is always my intention, Captain.

*Smug grinning/eye sex*

These two are ridiculous.

So anyway, against typical protocol, Spock (in his own way) fights with Jim so that he can stay. And WINS. This is not the last time that Spock rebels against typical Starfleet protocol in this episode, never mind how he is also bucking Vulcan tradition and logic in doing so.

This is the second time, one right after the other, that Spock pushes back against Kirk’s orders. It’s almost like he considers him and Kirk equals or something. You know, not a Captain and First Officer (who has no choice but to take direct orders from the Captain) but equals … like you might be in a relationship and you’re bantering with each other instead of working together. Am I crazy?

Literally seconds after this happens the reactor gives out and everyone who isn’t essential has to be beamed aboard the Enterprise because they need all the oxygen they can spare and only have enough supplied for an HOUR. BUT YOU KNOW. Spock gets to stay, because he threw a little tantrum and Spock ALWAYS gets his way. I am cackling as I’m writing this.

So now that the both of them have gotten over freaking out over each other’s safety and who should or should not be allowed to go on this mission, not even missing a beat here, the two head off to look for the horta. Kirk suggests they split up.

Guess who disagrees with the captain. Again. This time Jim gets his way, but Spock literally just stands there watching Jim go down his separate tunnel like a dog that got told to stay. He doesn’t even budge until Jim disappears from his line of vision.

Then Kirk contacts Spock via communicator and the pair keep this going because you know.

Ok bae, we staying on the phone the whole time because I worry.

Then the horta starts knocking shit over and then there is that hysterical moment:

Spock: Captain. *Gettin’ worried* Are you alright? *Panicking* JIM! *Starts marching* JIM!!

I’m sorry. Is a Vulcan bawling at the top of his lungs right now and starting to run? Because that’s a pretty … human thing to do. When you care about somebody that you think might be hurt. Just a thought.

Kirk: Yes, Mr. Spock, alright.

THAT LOOK. Oh my God, the look on Spock’s face. He visibly reels. It’s like he’s consumed with relief and stricken at the same time. It like he just realized it: Oh fuck. I’m so totally in love with Jim Kirk that I just did a Vulcan equivalent to flailing and having a panic attack. Shit.

“I find it extremely disquieting that your roof chose that particular moment to collapse. Please proceed with extreme caution. I shall quicken my pace.”


Did a Vulcan just confess out loud to feeling “extremely disquieted?”

Extreme is a pretty um … extreme word to use, for Vulcan emotions. Am I right or am I right or am I right. 

“So Jim I might have just shit my pants because I almost lost you there and don’t move a fucking finger because I’m coming, bb.”

Now Spock is good and worked up. He’s breathing hard and he’s got to get to Jim because for a minute there, he thought something terrible had happened to Jim, and clearly that had fucked him up. I think it’s one of the first moments he realizes what it would feel like if something bad did happen to Jim, and he’s surprised by how poorly he would have handled it. It’s as if in that moment, he realizes that he might not be able to keep it together if something were to happen to Jim because he’s allowed himself to feel too much for him. That’s it, Spock. You went and fell in love with Jim Kirk, now here are the consequences.

Oh, but it doesn’t end there.

No my friends, my favourite part of this episode hasn’t even HAPPENED YET.

I mean, this shit is ALL ONE  MOMENT AFTER THE OTHER, but we’re still not done here. Because as if Spock never suffered enough emotional exposure/embarrassment this episode, the best is yet to come.

Spock: Captain. I’ve just read some fresh signs. The creature is in this area. Take a life form reading.

Kirk: It’s not necessary Mr. Spock I know exactly where the creature is.

Spock: Where, Captain?

Kirk: Ten feet away from me.

Spock: Kill it, Captain! Quickly!

Kirk: It’s not making any threatening moves, Spock.

Spock: You don’t dare take the chance, Captain! Kill it!

Kirk: I thought you were the one who wanted it kept alive. Captured, if possible.

Spock: Jim. Your life is in danger. You can’t take the risk. (Oh we’ve switched over to Jim now. Shit’s getting personal.)

Kirk: It seems to be waiting.

Spock: I remind you it is a proven killer. I’m on my way.



So … this WHOLE FUCKING EPISODE, Spock has walked the border of insubordination just to keep this horta alive. He has made it clear that although unfortunate, he feels that preserving the last of a species is vital enough to risk the lives of everyone on the colony PLUS Jim’s men. He thinks it is worth the risk for every life but one.


He is throwing away something he feels intensely passionate about for something that he clearly has more passion for.

His Captain.

He tries to convince Jim to kill it THREE TIMES. He is pretty much yelling at him over the communicator.


And Jim is all Oh, about a half hour ago this thing was important enough for my men to risk their lives for and now you be tellin’ me to squat this thing like a fly?

AND I mean, Kirk was set on killing this thing from the get-go. What happened? Just as a cherry on top of this syrupy slash sundae, Jim is going against his own beliefs – risking his own life – and disregarding his OWN FUCKING ORDERS – because he thought it would upset Spock and knows it is important to him.


If that isn’t love, then … well, fuck you, you’re wrong. It’s love.

It’s Goddamn love.

Just ask Gene Roddenberry. There was sufficient enough love for that, he said.

NO FUCKING JOKE. Sufficient? How about every orifice on my body is choked to the brim and smothering in the love from JUST THIS EPISODE?

These two are ridiculous and this is just twenty minutes of a fucking episode, oh for fuck’s sake *throws papers* I’m done. I’m done. If you don’t believe me you haven’t been watching Star Trek TOS, you’ve put something else on by accident. Is your TV backwards? Are you blindfolded while wearing earplugs? JESUS. This shit was WRITTEN BY SOMEBODY, it didn’t just come out of thin air.

Excuse me.

I believe I require a change of pants.

Good day, sir.