Reasons why I like Kleinsen/Jared x Evan more than Treebros/Connor x Evan:
(Note: i do enjoy treebros, it’s adorable as heck. I just prefer Jared and Evan)
- Connor is frickin dead in the actual musical
- Connor hates Evan in the actual musical and bullied him a bit as well
- Evan and Jared are best friends and asfhjk
- JARED CALLS EVAN CUTE AS A FREAKING BUTTON OKAY
- Jared really wanted Evan to come clean about everything, but when Evan needed his help, he was there for him anyway. Like a really good friend aaaa
- Sure, Jared was an asshole sometimes, but he truly did care about Evan
Why I Love Connor Murphy (and why his character isn’t an innocent one)
Hello y’all, I’ve seen Too Much discourse in the DEH fandom recently on the part of people liking Connor and not liking Alana and Zoe enough, so here’s some of my thoughts on the matter (in no perfectly organized order) as well as some headcanons that I have which are supported by evidence in the show.
Connor Murphy was clearly a deeply fucked up kid. Signs of different mental illnesses should have been abundantly clear to his parents from the get-go, but they obviously weren’t (outward violent aggression towards teachers, isolation of himself from other peers, etc.) Connor was clearly crying for help in the only way that he could, through violence, and it’s clear that his dad was resistant to putting him into therapy. Then, (I’m assuming in middle school/early high school) he got into hard drugs (which ones we’re never explicitly told) and attempted suicide. Finally, after that, he goes to rehab, but the ride isn’t over yet.
Zoe mentions him banging on her door threatening to kill her for ‘no reason.’ so we can assume some things.
1. Connor was either high or mid-manic episode. 2. He did not have full control of his actions.
This, of course, could never excuse abusive behavior, but it does explain it and gives room for us to assume that this was before rehab. After rehab, he comes back to school, and I’m going to assume that though he had gotten better, he wasn’t quite good enough. He started self medicating with pot and other less harmful/addictive drugs (”I don’t want you going to school high, Connor.” the way this line is delivered makes me assume that Mrs. Murphy knows Connor smokes pot and cares but only in the context of school.) to try and calm his depression/bipolar/psychotic NOS (I believe he was schizophrenic.)
Connor Murphy was not excusable in his actions, but I love him because he was a tragic character who reminds me of myself. And besides, none of the characters in this show are perfect.
Now, getting to Connor’s mental state during the week that he killed himself:
Very up and down, we see him being nice to Evan (signing his cast, laughing with him, etc.) in one scene, but in the next he sees Zoe’s name and instantly becomes extremely paranoid/panicked because he thinks that Evan is out to get him. He’s constantly worried about being labeled a “freak” (due to constant bullying from almost everyone.) And he keeps the note for two days in his pocket (not at school) and kills himself with it still there.
Connor Murphy was mentally ill and his mom was the only one who gave very much of a shit about it (Zoe did too, I think, but she didn’t know how to deal with it.) and that’s all, Connor Murphy deserves our love not because he was a good or nice character, but because he had the potential to be.
I mean, imagine if he had been properly rehabilitated and continued therapy?
This is from the 390 prompt list. 225. Please and thank you! (Treebros) :)
Author: K No problem! I like the sound of this. And it’s hopefully something that you don’t immediately think of when you see that prompt with this ship.
tw: kind of minor panic attack?
225. “Look at me - just breathe, okay?”
Connor ran a hand through his hair, his breathing irregular and laboured. He sat in his car, waiting for Evan to get in so they could drive to his house. Evan had asked his mother to take a night off for Taco Tuesday, them planning to tell her that they were together. They had been for several months but had kept it on the down-low. Now that they felt they were serious about it, they were gonna tell their parents. Starting with Evan’s mother, Heidi.
When Evan eventually go tin the car, saying something about having to stay behind to speak to a teacher about a presentation he couldn’t do, Connor was on the verge of a panic attack. He was hyperventilating slightly and hadn’t noticed Evan get in the car.
Connor didn’t care about telling his parents. They adored Evan so would most likely be over the moon with the news. And even if they weren’t, he didn’t give a shit. He was nervous about Heidi. Because she was Evan’s mum whom he loved more than anything and Connor hoped she liked him. He hoped she thinks he was good enough for her little boy.
Evan started to panic slightly when he saw the state of Connor. “Oh my god, Connor. I need you to breathe, Like this,” he began to demonstrate a basic ‘in for 4, out for 4′ method. Connor attempted to replicate his breathing, only to get more worked up when he couldn’t.
Soon, Evan just grabbed both sides of Connor’s face, making him look him in the eye. “Look at me - just breathe, okay?” This seemed to snap Connor out of it, seeming to calm him down. He eventually regulated his breathing to just rather ragged, laboured breaths. Evan pecked him on the lips before leaning back in his chair. “What happened?”
Connor shrugged, trying to brush it off. “Just got a bit worked up about coming out to your mom tonight. It was nothing.”
Evan chuckled slightly. “It better have been nothing. Because my mom loves you, and even if she didn’t, she loves me. And if she sees that you make me happy, then she would be happy for us anyway. You have nothing to worry about.”
Connor threw Evan a small smile, before pulling out of his parking space and heading to his house.
so that’s that! hopefully you enjoyed, feel free to send more in!
OMG PLEASE DO EITHER 5, 65, AND/OR 79 FOR TREEBROS (ps I love your blog)
I love you sweet anon I hope this will suffice <3
“Connor? what are doing here?” Evan Hansen whispered, “and did you climb the fire escape? And how’d you find my house.”
“You said you were feeling bad, and the phonebook,” Connor said from where he was perched outside Evan’s bedroom window. Sweaty and breathless from his run all the way there.
“What are you talking about? It’s almost one in the morning Connor.”
“You said in the group chat,” Connor held up his phone, screen illuminated in the darkness. Indicating what Evan recognized as the group chat between Zoe, Alana, Jared, Connor, and himself. Evan rarely participated in any discussion on it. Only to ask questions about homework.
“Oh god,” Evan choked recognizing his own text that he tapped out in an anxious flurry, “I meant to send that to my mom.”
“Oh,” Connor, lowered his phone. “Sorry I shouldn’t have- wait Evan are you crying?” Concern washing over him as moonlight glinted off the tears on Evan’s cheeks.
“What? No,“Evan deflected, running the back of his hand over his face.
"Evan, I’m worried about you,” Connor said, concern evident in his tone.
“Why would you, of all people, be the one to show up here?”
Connor would have been offended in any other situation, but there was no malice in Evan’s tone. Just genuine curiosity.
“Look, Evan, let’s just pretend for right now we’re friends okay?” Connor’s concern increasing at the sight of how hard Evan’s hands were shaking. He had to do something. Evan might not consider them friends, but Connor did. He had always harbored a special place in his heart for Evan. A place Connor tried not to visit often. He wasn’t sure how he felt about how soft it made him feel. “Let me help if I can.”
A dam inside of Evan seemed to break.
“I feel really bad, Connor,” Evan said around a choked out sob, shaking even harder. “I feel like the entire world is crashing around me and I don’t know what to do.”
“Hey, hey it’s alright you’re gonna be alright, I’m gonna come in alright?”
Evan nodded stepping out of the way for Connor to climb in through the window.
“I’m going to take care of you, okay?” Connor whispered taking both of Evan’s hands in his, squeezing them lightly to try to stop the trembling.
Evan nodded again, leaning forward to drop his head onto Connor’s shoulder. Connor dropped his hands in favor of wrapping them around Evan. They stood there in the dark silence of Evan’s bedroom for awhile Connor rubbing his hands over Evan’s back. It didn’t seem like Evan was calming down. Strangled sobs still wracking his body.
“Hey, buddy, come on,” Connor released him taking his hand instead. Leading him out of his down the hall until he found the bathroom. Flipping on the light switch maneuvering Evan to sit on the closed toilet seat.
“Do you have, like, a washcloth or something I can use?”
“Under the sink,” Evan said his voice slow and uneven as if he didn’t have enough air.
Connor nodded rummaging under the sink until he found one. Dampening with as cold of water he could get from the sink, before moving to squat in front of Evan.
“Look at me —Just breathe okay? You’re safe I’ve got you,” Connor said gently, taking Evan’s face in his hands, and dabbing the cold cloth on his tear streaked face. Meeting his eyes as he did so. “You’re not breathing enough. Come on with me, one, two, three” Connor took in a deep breath on three letting Evan mimic him. He held for a beat before releasing it.
They continued like this for awhile. Connor breathing and Evan following until Evan’s breath patterns seemed to even out, and he stopped crying.
“Why are you doing this?” Evan asked after awhile hand wrapping around Connor’s wrist, stilling him from where Connor was still running the cold cloth on his face.
“We’re friends tonight, remember?” Connor said.
“That’s not what I mean. Why did you run all the way here in the middle of the night because of a text?” Evan said, releasing Connor’s hand. Sliding off the toilet to sit in front of Connor.
“Who would leave poor, sweet, Evan to cry alone in his room?” Connor teased before turning serious, “I don’t want you to feel alone, Evan. I’ve always thought that. You always look so lonely at school, and I know you don’t like being bombarded with people or anything, but I’ve always felt like if you had a friend you wouldn’t look so sad. Or maybe it’s just me that needs the friend. Maybe I’ve just always wanted to be your friend I conceived this misconstrued idea of you needing one too.”
Connor didn’t know why he was saying this. Something about a bathroom, and an emotionally unstable boy in the middle of the night made you spill your guts apparently. But whatever the reason he was on a role now so why quit now?
“And I know we don’t talk often, and I hope this doesn’t freak you out, but I think after awhile I fell a little bit in love with you. And I know you don’t feel anything for me, and that’s okay I’ve accepted it but I just thought you should know.”
And now that he’s finished Connor knew he’s said too much. What was he thinking? Dropping this on Evan right now. It couldn’t be any smoother. Confessing your love your emotionally distraught not-friend on their bathroom floor. He couldn’t even look at Evan now, keeping his eyes fixated on the swirly patterns of the Hansen residence bathroom.
He kept them there until he felt a hand touch his cheek. Snapping his eyes to meet Evan’s.
“Connor,” Evan said sounding breathless, “Do you really mean that?”
“Of course I do,” Connor leaned into the hand on his face leaning into the warmth.
He barely finished his sentence before Evan’s lips were pressed to his in a sweet, chaste kiss. Taking Connor’s breath away. His heart had never felt so full before as he smiled into the kiss.
The whole kiss only lasted for a few seconds before Evan pulled away, cheeks flushed an adorable shade of red.
“Connor will you stay for awhile?”
"You couldn’t drag me away.“
"Oh, and Connor?”
"That was my first kiss.”
Connor chuckled before pulling Evan in for another.
Seems like the consensus in my box is correct- yea it’s a cute pairing although most basis for it is canonically just what we get through evan’s head and that measly interaction with the signing of evan’s cast…i guess that’s why every au is connor alive WHICH MAKES SENSE…
i generally just love the idea of them rekindling their sibling relationship???? they both apologize for everything and agree to leave the past in the past. they start to open up to each other and zoe offers to teach him.
(the first song he learns is “can’t help falling in love” and he plays it for evan djfhskdfjhadfjhaldkfj kill me????)