A Secret Love
A Secret Love
Warnings: mentions of nightmares, minor smut.
A/N this popped into my head & wouldn’t leave. It was supposed to be pure smut but as usual, things grow. I hope y'all like it.
“You’re doing it again y/n” Nat catches you by surprise making you squeak. You knew you shouldn’t have let her discover your secrets, the unfortunate thing about having the best spy in the world for a best friend is that no secret is safe for long. All it had taken was 2 glasses of your favorite wine after 1 of your father’s parties & the super spy had gotten the name of your crush out of you. A secret you’d been hiding for over a year & a half.
The reason it was a secret wasn’t just because your crush was the unattainable Bucky Barnes, though with Tony Stark for a father, that was beyond enough. He may have forgiven Bucky for the death of his parents, but that didn’t mean he’d be accepting of his daughter being in love with him. Which brings you to the second reason for your secret. You were helplessly, hopelessly in love with the former fist of Hydra.
As soon as you met him, you knew you were sunk. He seemed so anxious at first & all you wanted was to make him feel at home & try to make him smile. So you spent as much time with him as you could, countless movie nights, buckets of popcorn & trips to museums to catch him up on history & help him integrate into society. Somewhere during these adventures, Bucky had begun to find that part of himself that had been such a ladies man before the war. He would flirt shamelessly with you, much to your father’s frustration.
You had fallen hard & fast, you refused to let yourself get your hopes up though, you couldn’t, especially since every time your father threw 1 of his famous parties Bucky could always be found surrounded by the same group of women.
Which brought you back to the present, Nat had in fact found you staring at Bucky & his supermodel groupies. They were clinging to him as if he was going to disappear, all competing with each other on who could gain his attention.
Snapping fingers bring you back to the present, “where were you woman?” “Oh, nowhere special, just thinking “ you know she’s not going to let you off this easily, she wouldn’t be Nat if she did. Raising an eyebrow, Nat just stares at you before grabbing her drink & walking off but yells back over her shoulder “you realize the only people you’re fooling is yourself & Bucky right?” You collapse on the bar, you’re definitely screwed.
Unable to handle the high-pitched squeals from the groupies any longer, you grab a bottle of your favorite wine & head to your floor, not seeing the cerulean eyes following your form through the crowd.
I watch her glide through the crowd, wanting nothing more than to follow her. I don’t know when it happened, 1 day we were watching movie, going on little adventures & laughing together at Sam’s dramatic ass & the next I find myself trying to find any excuse possible to be near her. Even if it meant going to Starks unbearable parties.
The “groupies” as Sam calls them, have surrounded me again. I hate this, they never have anything worth hearing to say, all they do is talk about how amazing I am, how much I must work out, how it must be SO exciting to be an avenger.
None seem to realize how stupid they sound. I’m not Sam or Steve who can go out without fearing people’s reactions, I was the Winter Soldier, if I get recognized, it rarely ends well. I spend every day trying to atone for the atrocities committed through me by Hydra. I’m not dumb enough to think I bare the blame, but it was still my hands taking those lives.
The only time I don’t feel guilty is when I’m with y/n, she treats me just like everyone else. So it was no surprise to Steve when I fell in love with her, I don’t see how everyone isn’t in love with her. Unfortunately, she just sees me as a friend, which means I’ll never have her. I just have to be content to love her from afar. Not that it stops me from flirting with her nonstop, especially since it gets Starks pants in a bunch. I know Steve thinks I shouldn’t mess with the man, but I can’t help myself, nor do I want to. I find myself flirting with her more & more every day.
It’s been 3 weeks since the party, 3 weeks of absolute hell. Bucky has taken to flirting even more & since Sam’s big mouth had let it slip that he’d heard the “groupies” (insert sassy Sam air quotes) bitching how none of them had managed to get Barnes into bed, him always claiming that he “just wasn’t that into them & had eyes for someone special” your mind had decided that every sleeping moment had to be spent dreaming of Bucky. Shirtless, sweaty, moaning Bucky. On top of you, under you, behind you, hell if there was a position that was even remotely possible physically, you’d dreamed it.
As if your dreams weren’t torture enough, it was summer time & Bucky had taken to walking around shirtless at all times. If someone complained he simply wiggled his eyebrows & claimed that the serum didn’t just enhanced EVERYTHING physically, it also made him hot all the time & after 70 years of skintight leather he refused to be uncomfortable. He would then catch your eye, wink then walk out smirking at your flaming cheeks.
A month later
This must be what dying feels like, it’s now been a month since the party & Bucky’s teasing has escalated from winks & slightly suggestive comments to “accidental” touches that linger longer than is proper & everything out of his sinful mouth has begun to sound like an innuendo. The entire team has noticed the sexual tension between the 2 of you by now & the betting pool has opened. Thankfully your father has been preoccupied with his new suit, so he’s blissfully unaware that the entire tower is betting on how long it takes before you 2 rip each other’s clothes. Most have bet that you’ll snap first, especially with all the teasing Bucky has been doing. The grunting loudly during a workout, moaning when eating, the man is being downright sinful. But you have a secret weapon, you have Natasha. Grabbing your secret weapon, you buy a whole new wardrobe specifically geared towards tormenting Bucky. The first day you debuted your new yoga shorts & crop tops, Bucky broke the edge of the counter top. Everyone looked at him with wide eyes but you just linked arms with Natasha & left for the gym. The game was on.
2 weeks later
Bucky was dying, at first when he’d decided to just go for it & hope for the best, it had seemed foolproof. He started slowly, little teasing remarks & not wearing a shirt. When that had been met with intense blushing by you, he figured it was as good of a sign that he was going to get that you might return his affections. So he’d stepped it up, but nothing had prepared him for you to partner with Natasha to bring him to his knees. You were already killing him just by being your amazing self. Partnered with Natasha? You were kryptonite & he didn’t stand a chance in hell. If he had to see 1 more pair of yoga shorts or skirts that barely covered your ass, he was going to strangle someone. Starting with the lower agents who couldn’t keep their eyes in their heads when you entered the room.
You can’t sleep, nightmares from last week’s mission are making it impossible. So you pull on the Henley you stole from Bucky’s laundry basket & head to the kitchen for some tea.
Bucky’s already there with 2 cups in front of him, he hands you the second cup without even looking, having already heard you coming. “Nightmares again?” “yeah, just can’t get that last mission out of my head. Thanks for the tea, it always helps.“ His only answer is to shrug then pick you up & carry you back to your room. Nothing could’ve prepared you for the feeling of Bucky carrying you, sure you’ve hugged him before, he’s even carried you home drunk before but this feels different, more intimate.
He sets you down at your door, careful not to spill your tea. Something in you is desperate for this moment to last but before you can say anything Bucky pulls you close, his lips meet your cheeks for a few moments before he pulls away. He seems reluctant to go but finally whispers goodnight before slowly turning and heading for his room. You quickly rush into your room, leaning against the door, your hand resting where his lips were just seconds ago. You know sleep will be hard to find tonight, but it won’t have anything to do with nightmares.
Letting her go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. All I want is to run back to her, kiss her senseless & spend the rest of the night holding her. I know I can’t right now, but I want to. I try to forget how her heart raced as I leaned in to kiss her, it makes me want to find other ways of getting her heart racing. “Stop it Barnes!! There’s a mission coming up & you’ll be the only 1 here with her.” Oh great, now I’m really not going to sleep, all I can think of is having her beneath me.
You stare at the picture, eyes unsure where to look the longest. Bucky is in a tub, all that’s visible above the bubbles is his chest & abs that would make the gods weep with envy & the tree trunks that are his thighs. The part of your brain that’s functioning somewhat is screaming at you to run to him, somewhere in the non functioning part, there’s a warning of your father coming home but you can’t hear it over the sound of your feet flying down the hallway. Your eyes met Bucky’s & as soon as he holds out that damn metal arm, all thought flies out the window. What follows is a flurry of clothes flying, heated kisses & heavy moans as you finally sink down onto Bucky’s throbbing member. Both of you moving together chasing your ends, suddenly your orgasm crashes down over you causing you to clamp down on Bucky triggering his own orgasm. Your screams mix with his moans, neither of you hearing FRIDAY calling out that the team had landed.
The teams POV
The screams echo through the hall, without a thought we all bolted for the bathroom that FRIDAY said the sounds were coming from. Stark blasted the door open only to be met with the sight of a naked Bucky pulling his shirt down y/n’s body, her hands buried in his hair holding his lips to hers “What the shit Barnes?!?! It’s not enough that you kill my parents, now you gotta go & defile my daughter too?!!!” As soon as the door blasted open Bucky pulls y/n into his arms to shield her, seeing her father & knowing he’s likely planning Bucky’s demise she yells for him to run. Luckily following orders is a habit that’s deeply ingrained in the soldier & he takes off like a bolt of lightning with Stark hot on his heels alternating between cursing his name & yelling warnings about hurting his little girl.