Eiji is looking at him with his eyes full of wonder. It´s as if Eiji is looking at him for the first time. The dark eyes of the other boy are also full of passion, full of desire. Ash knows his eyes are full of the same emotions as well, nevertheless he´s afraid.
He´s afraid of surrender. He´s afraid of falling in that primitive emotion that leads all men to commit monstrous sins.
Yes, Ash is afraid, not afraid of Eiji, even passion seems to be a good thing when it is Eiji who´s touching him.
Ash is afraid of what may come next. Ash is afraid of losing Eiji because maybe Eiji would abandon him once the desire that´s burning in his eyes in that moment gets satisfied.
Ash feels embarrassed because he´s thinking those stupid things about Eiji, his Eiji. He´s embarrassed of believing that Eiji is a monster too, a monster like that ones who had touched him before. The monsters who treated him like a reusable merchandise, the monsters who abused him, the monsters who taught him that his body was a toy, that his body would never know love.
But Eiji is not a monster. Eiji´s hands are touching his naked body slowly, carefully, lovingly. Eiji takes his time to discover him. Eiji´s hands are patient, they´re kind, and those are the hands of an angel not a monster. Because while other´s hands have just caused him pain and humiliation, Eiji´s hands are making love to him. Eiji´s hands are love, actually.
“Am I making you feel bad?” asks Eiji and the boy´s cheeks flush.
“No, everything´s good…” says Ash trying to ease his mind and surrender to whatever is going to happen with Eiji.
“You´re afraid, aren´t you?” asks Eiji and the boy holds him closer not with passion but tenderness.
Eiji is holding Ash as if the boy was made of glass or the most fragile porcelain. Eiji´s trying to comfort him and make him feel at ease, at home. Eiji´s not asking for anything Ash doesn´t want to give him and Ash feels like crying because moments ago he was thinking that Eiji might be like the others.
No, Eiji is Eiji, there´s no one like Eiji in the world for him.
“I´m afraid of losing you…” says Ash hiding his face on Eiji´s bare chest.
“Why? I´m not leaving you any time soon. I´m yours and I want to be with you”, says Eiji and the boy takes his chin so he can see directly into Ash´s emerald green eyes. “I know I´m not very much but what I am, what I feel, all of it is yours, OK?”
“OK”, whispers Ash, “we can continue with…”
“Hush”, says Eiji with a bright smile as he puts one of his fingers over Ash´s lips, “you need to rest now, we can continue later. We´ll have a lifetime to be together, won´t we? Now you need to rest, I´ll be here with you. I love you, Ash…”
Ash wants to argue with Eiji. He wants to tell him he´s ready to voluntarily give himself to him and only him, but truth be told, maybe he´s not. And maybe he would be able to give himself completely sooner or later because Eiji´s not going to leave him. He´s not going. He’s staying with him.
Eiji has said he was his to have. Eiji has said he was his to love.
Mine, Ash thinks and the smile on his lips widens as he has never had someone only for him before…
In spite of everything I love
Harley Quinn but, damn, writers treat her so badly. I swear, the temptation to
make her actually stupid must be terrible because it’s so often implied, or
explicitly stated, that she slept her way through school. First of all, it
does not work like that. Second, she’s
not a therapist or a psychologist, she’s a psychiatrist, she’s a fricking MD
and a damn young one too. Managing pre-med and collegiate gymnastics that she
relied on to keep her scholarship? Harley is fucked up, but she’s not the dumb
blonde she plays. (also stop making her stacked, she’s a gymnast. she is 4’11”
of pure muscle and is not top heavy)
If you want a good Harley
backstory it’s simple. She’s ADHD but medicated and slightly robotic because of
it. I want to take special care not to demonize meds but, rather, people’s
disapproval of neurodivergence and a lack of focus on what is best for a
patient rather than what is most convenient for others. So, maybe, around ten
years old Harley is a hyperactive space cadet who’s brilliant at tests but
sloppy at coursework, who would be a gymnastics prodigy if she could actually
focus on technique and put in practice time instead of fooling around. Then the
meds come and it’s actually really cool because she can do the things she needs
to do instead of just wanting to do them, doing something else entirely, and
getting in trouble. People are proud of her, she’s proud of herself. But now
there are expectations. Family and teachers and coaches overschedule her, find
worth only in her success and don’t care about her mental health at all as long
as she’s performing and castigate her when she does fail. Fuck if you don’t
internalize that. But she doesn’t look unhealthy and she’s doing amazing. She
actually has to choose between the Olympic trials and continuing her grad
studies. She probably has some issues with self-harm but it either doesn’t look
like self-harm or is well covered up.
When Arkham accepts her, fresh
from her residency, it’s not a mistake. The woman is amazing. All they can see
is a mountain of achievements rather than the seething ball of nerves,
self-loathing, and imposter syndrome boiling just under the surface. That’s
when Joker comes in. He’s got the Hannibal Lecter shtick down. Where everyone
else sees an intelligent driven young woman he sees a frightened overwhelmed
girl who is working her hardest to convince the world she’s anyone other than
herself. Sending her into a nervous breakdown would be too easy so he doesn’t even
bother. Instead he’s open with her, almost friendly. The other doctors are
amazed, Harley is amazed, she’s not done anything particularly revolutionary
but, for the first time in forever, it looks like the clown prince of crime is
showing progress. He unravels her and it’s a challenge, she flinches back and
gets very serious when he comes too close to the real Harley under the
professional. Still, soon she’s questioning everything. She doesn’t even really
like her co-workers. She hasn’t had a real friend in years. She’s forgotten how
to have fun. Did she ever want this to be her life or did she just do it for
other people? It starts so slowly that it looks, at first, like she’s getting
better at self-care. Maybe something totally silly one weekend, a trampoline
park where she can enjoy the way her toned body moves without stressing out
over landings, a face painting booth at a street fair, some garishly colored
downright tacky decoration that clashes with her sensible apartment. Suddenly
she realizes how much she hates knowing the difference between cream and ecru.
The beigeness of her life is repulsive. She hates the person she’s pretending
to be even more that she hates herself which is really saying something.
After her weekend of freedom she
would have called in sick if it wasn’t so suddenly important to see him. The
relief she feels at talking to one of Gotham’s most infamous supercriminals is
disturbing but it is relief and she’s been swallowing a slow-motion panic
attack for hours. She admits, though she shouldn’t, that she took his advice
about doing something fun and he teases her, what would straight-laced Doctor
Quinzel do for fun? Did she realphabetize her sock drawer or buy a new
clipboard? It’s not important to impress him, it’s really not. He’s dangerous,
cruel, and he looks so proud when she admits that she bought a lamp shaped like
a lawn flamingo. The only mistake, he says, is that she should have stolen it.
She hopes the wicked thrill it gives her doesn’t show on her face. It does. She
almost even laughs. He likes it when he can make her laugh and she likes it
when he likes things.
It’s wrong and unprofessional,
the relationship she develops, and she knows it but her whole life she’s been
so high strung. Nothing she’s done has been for her, she’s not sure she knows
how to really do selfish things anymore, but he knows the selfish things she
needs to do. It feels good when she follows his advice even when it’s small
things like the rainbow striped socks she wears concealed under her very bland
slacks and sensible shoes. She’s so happy, almost giddy, and he loves her
happiness, he loves her, he loves the real her that she’s had to beat down and
hide for so long, the her that even she isn’t able to love. She is able to love
him, though, and since he loves her she’s able to love herself for him, to
protect and nurture something so important to him.
When the choice comes between
her old self, the tedious endless labor of making the world proud, and Him, the
spectacular man that brought color into her life, it’s not even a question.
She kills Doctor Harleen Quinzel, she throws away the version of her that let
herself burn just for medals and hollow accolades. She embraces Harley Quinn
and it’s so much a part of her nature she can’t even see that she’s still
living her life for someone else’s approval, except this time that person is a murderous
clown. She hasn’t let her hair down, she’s just put it in pigtails instead of a
The Train AU takes place in a town much like the ones you would find in southern Ireland. I have family over there and the scenery is so beautiful, the train rides I took to visit all my cousins were some of the most peaceful trips I’ve had. I want you guys to imagine a place with wide open fields and close-knit neighbors. But also cobblestoned city streets with more places to walk than drive. I want you guys to picture warm nature and stone fences.
Altea Academy is a private institution located in the modern downtown district of Finch (a made up town based on Dublin). The high school caters to talented and wealthy students and offers them a college preparatory education. Most of its students are child prodigies and scholarshiped athletes. The school itself is very reminiscent of Trinity University in Dublin. Due to its prominent nature, the school is known for being uptight, but its students are known for being quite troublesome. But since their students are regarded as the “best” the school rarely punishes them. If they did the child’s important angry parents would be breathing down the principal’s neck. The school’s football team is known locally and statewide, they have always dominated the competition.
Students of Altea:
Takashi Shirogane - Team captain and quarterback of Altea’s Black Lions. Shiro is seen by teachers as a straight-A senior and perfect student. But his friends and fellow students see him as tired soul. He stays up late to do homework and runs on nothing but willpower and energy drinks. He is constantly making bad decisions when his friends are not with him. Bad decisions include: Random piercings his current hairstyle, and regrettable tattoos. He is a huge space nut and can talk to you all day about the stars, their constellations, and their meanings. His affinity for stars has earned him the nickname Space Dad. He’s an Instagram legend thanks to his friend Matt and is sought after by every guy and girl in the district.
Katie Holt - A computer science prodigy, Katie was able to skip three grades and at age 14 she sits with her brother in the senior class. Due to the strict dress code, Katie was forbidden from wearing the men’s uniform and is constantly writing emails to the faculty about how unfair it is to deny her pants. She may look like she is diligently typing notes but Katie sits in the back of the class for a reason. She’s either hacking the school’s internet and database or playing video games, yet whenever called she can answer the question correctly. Unlike Shiro, the school knows Katie is not as sweet as she looks. Along with her brother, Keith, and secretly Shiro, she has pulled off countless school pranks.
Matt Holt - An angel in the eyes of teachers and best friends with Shiro. He pretends to scold his sister for her troublesome pranks when called to the office, but it’s all an act. Computer science and mathematics prodigy Matthew Holt is the face of several school adds along with Shiro. Due to his father’s strong government ties, the school can hardly punish his sister and thus could never touch him. Matt is Shiro’s lifeline making sure he studies, supplies him with Monster, and treats him to breakfast every once in a while.
Keith Kogane - A reckless punk in the eyes of teachers and staff. But a school icon none the less. No matter how many classes he sleeps through he always aces them. He’s on the football team with Shiro and has scored most of the school record-breaking touchdowns. He’s a golden boy at everything and anything and the teachers can’t do anything about his reckless behavior without incurring the wrath of his uncle, CEO of Galra Industries and Sciences, Zarkon. Keith’s parents died when he was very young. His mother’s brother took him in and raised him alongside his own son Lotor. He loves Keith like his own son and bought him the house his parent’s lived in on the outskirts of the quiet town of Creek.
(Lotor goes to another elite high school in Finch where the football team is co-ed. Lotor is the quarterback and captain and the girls he leads are hella strong. Their team is usually ranked third in the district and is constantly trying to one-up Altea. )
West Creek High is a local high school in the much calmer town of Creek, about a four-hour train ride from Finch. The school itself is a community high school, lots of local kids go here. It’s an old building with laxed old rules, and well-behaved students. The school’s pride is its football team, most kids go to West Creek just to make the team. They are ranked second in the county. In Creek, the streets are more for walking and less for driving. There is a local Somoan bakery that makes fresh pastries every morning and next to them is a cafe. The owners are good friends and together bring in business for both shops.
Students of West Creek High
Hunk Garret- A lovable sweet boy with a heart of gold and the body of a god. Hunk is the school’s famed linebacker, he’s a hulking beast on the field and could break a normal high schooler in two. But Hunk couldn’t hurt a fly and only joined the team for the scholarship so he could save his mother money. He helps run the local Somoan bakery with her and is looking to take over the business when he graduates. He’s best friends with Lance and has been since pre K. They have matching wristbands, the one Hunk wears is Lance’s favorite color while the one Lance wears is Hunk’s favorite color. Sometimes he and Lance stay up hella late playing video games with their online friend Pidge.
Allura - The resident hottest girl in school, Allura is rather down to earth and sweet once people get to know her. She runs a fashion blog and dominates Instagram with gorgeous selfies. Although her father is the CO-CEO to Galra, and she could have gone to any school she wanted, she chose West Creek out of all the fancy prep schools. She thought the homier the neighborhood the kinder the friends. She became friends with Hunk and Lance because she frequently eats at Hunk’ s bakery. Lance is her wingman and always lets her know if a guy at a party is trouble. She currently has a crush on this guy who keeps showing up on her insta feed.He’s got a fringe of bleached hair and piercings. His friend’s feed is filled with pictures of the said bleached boy doing hilarious stunts and sweaty football pics. It’s a blessing.
Coran Smythe - Is the schools most eccentric and loved history professor. He somehow has a strange unheard historical fact for every era they cover in class and often judges the textbooks on getting certain events wrong or the author being completely off base. Not only is he a great teacher but he is also a great coach. He coaches the Creek Creatures football team. The mascot is some kind of cryptid, the current costume resembles Mothman.
Lance Sanchez - A straight-A student and all around excitable guy. He wants to be an astronaut, or a fighter pilot, or something to do with the sky. Lance loves the idea of flying and wants to get his piloting license when he graduates. Lance lives on the outskirts of Creek where his family owns a farm with horses, cows, and lots or sheep. So his mom makes him take the train to make sure he gets to school on time. He’s always been a little bit of a daydreamer and is often caught zoning out in class.
The train ride from Creek to Finch is an hour and a half, the train consists of mostly leisure cars where you can sit at a table and be treated to a snack trolley. Otherwise, you can sit in the many standing cars with minimal seating and more standing room.