travels with trolls

‘cause when you walked into the room just then

theatre au collab with @alrightpotter. here’s her part.

a/n: lucie, my love!!! happy birthday!!! i’d want to know you if you reached peak gay or became buffy summers dog or could only eat car tires. i love you badly. id probably give up weetbix for you. have the best day in the world.

Godric’s Post                                                                              8th February 2009

Film: The Wind In the Whomping Willows
Director: Bathilda Bagshot
Plot Summary: 4 friends go for a picnic. Boredom ensues.

I’ve never liked Bathilda Bagshot, and yes this may have been because of an incident at one of my parents’ house parties where she literally hissed at me when I reached for another baked potato, but the point still stands. She continues rely on prolonged dialogue scenes that don’t move the plot along and stretch to the point of absurdity, until the viewer is begging for a change in scene, shot, anything, only to presented with (unbelievably) yet more boredom.  

So put aside whatever resentment you’re harbouring that I just name dropped Bathilda Bagshot and that she used to come to my house, and wallow in how wasted my Friday night was watching this garbage. My personal highlight was the closing credits, because it meant I could at last be free from this endless hell of four people sitting in a wood, talking about sandwiches and grass for two hours straight.

Naturally I imagine some people enjoyed the film, (Bagshot does know her way around a camera, I’ll give her that, the cinematography was flawless.) however dear, cherished, hopefully-subscribed-and-not-reading-this-on-the-free-trial-reader, I must ask: who doesn’t like a little during movie commentary? Before Friday I would have said no one, but after Friday I would have to say no one, with the exception of uptight, haughty gingers.

Rather like Penelope Clearwater’s unfortunate character in The Wind in the Whomping Boredom, I too found myself being falsely accused of a crime I did not commit. In Clearwater’s case (she shines in the film, despite Bagshot’s insistence she be holding a mirror in every scene) it was of stealing the picnic sandwiches. Mine was the slightly more serious charge of ‘injuring’ a fellow reviewer.

I want it stated for the record that no such injury occurred, and that as far as I am aware popcorn is rarely classified as an assault weapon, but I am willing to hear argument on the matter. However I could be wrong because the reviewer in question seemed to genuinely enjoy the Wind In the Whomping Waste of Time, so maybe it wasn’t her eye that should be examined, but her brain.

In summary: this film has done the impossible and been even more tedious than Bagshot’s last effort, A History of the Snake Inside Me, which I didn’t think possible. My nine-year-old criticisms rarely stand up to scrutiny but I think my judgement of Ms Bagshot being The Worst has proven correct. Furthermore, I want it noted for no particular reason at all that if at any point I am contacted by a lawyer about paying medical bills for a non-existent injury, I will do something else ‘ridiculous’ and ‘childlike’ like toilet papering a Certain Reviwers house or broadcasting my witty and hilarious movie commentary over a loudspeaker during each and every film I will ever attend from this point on.

(the editor Remus J. Lupin wishes to clarify for legal reasons that comments above are aimed at no particular individual, all wishes views presented are the writer and the writers views alone, and to please not sue the paper)

Godric’s Post                                                                                  3rd March 2009

Film: 101 Fantastic Beasts
Director: Newt Scamander
Plot Summary: CGI animals have a good time. Audience have a good time.

Scamander has always had a talent for animation, even his questionable films like Beasts Which Are Fantastic If Only We Knew Where To Find Them (nonsensical, long-winded title) and The Porpentina Goldstein Story (thought it was going to be about hedgehogs. It was not.) should be seen purely for their onscreen beauty alone.

Thankfully, 101 Fantastic Beats wasn’t a repeat of the Hedgehog Incident but rather exactly what it says on the tin, 101 Fantastic Beasts romping around the city and having a jolly good time, until one of them dies and the entire world becomes a bleak hell-scape that you are desperate to escape because you can’t stop crying.

Unfortunately my screening experience of this charming film was somewhat hindered by the near constant stream of insults and accusations of ‘eye assault’ from a Certain Reviewer which culminated in said reviewer tipping popcorn that Was Not Hers across The Innocent Victims Lap.

The reviewers in question needn’t have ever spoken again but because a Certain Reviewer had slandered another Wholly Blameless Reviewer in her paper, which the Wholly Blameless Reviewer’s Mother reads, some things had to be sorted out. And those things were trying to get the Certain Reviewer to print a retraction so the Wholly Blameless Reviewers Mother would stop bloody going on about it.  

On top of this Wholly Blameless was mocked mercilessly for showing emotion during what ranks as one of the most heart-breaking scenes of all time, next to such movie moments as the ending of Dead Poets Society and the shooting of Bambi’s mother in Bambi. Obviously a Certain Reviewer needs to borrow a heart so she doesn’t have to poke fun at others for having what she does not: feelings. Wholly Blameless would be happy to lend her some of his, as he’s just good like that and not at all the ‘slice of expired a*shole’ he’d previously been accused of being.

101 Beasts has heart (unlike Certain Reviewer’s) and is appropriate for the whole family excluding twelve year olds, because obviously they’re terrible and you’d never want to take them anywhere anyway, so it’s a win-win.

(The editor wishes to clarify that the writers list of saddest movie moments is flawed because it has left off the Jack death scene from Titanic because the writer thinks ‘Cameron clearly emotionally manipulated the audience’ and ‘there was plenty of room for both of them on that door’ because the writer is an imbecile. The editor cannot believe he is the film critic.)

Godric’s Post                                                                                  11th April 2009

Film: The Cupboard Under The Stairs
Director: Gilderoy Lockhart
Summary: You really don’t want to know.

Gilderoy Lockhart has won two Oscars, and yet every time I watch one of his films I have to forcefully remind myself that it wasn’t shot by a nine-year old with a camcorder who uses their dog as a sound assistant. The dullness of the film will stun and bewilder all who see it, as it defies reason why such a thing should be made.

True Hairy Chins Shouldn’t Be Seen By The Public was wildly funny (despite meaning to be a serious documentary), but aside from that I can’t think of a Lockhart film I’ve ever enjoyed aside from classics like Gadding With Ghouls and Travels With Trolls which hardly look like Lockhart films at all, despite him having directed them.

Cupboard Under The Stairs is so mind-blowing ridiculous, from the wooden dialogue to the extended shots of director and star Lockhart doing mind-numbingly boring tasks while smiling garishly, that when I found myself sitting next to a Certain Reviewer I didn’t even bother to move but rather stayed if only to have something to do. A slight physical fight broke out, and by fight I mean a Certain Reviewer hit me for a comment I made about the twenty second long director credit, so obviously I pinched her, and then before I knew what was happening we had been thrown out.

I don’t want you to think, dear reader who has clicked on this review and therefore pays my rent, that I might have acted unprofessionally by getting thrown out a movie twenty minutes in. I want to clarify: I absolutely acted unprofessionally. There is no ‘might’ about it. But my point still stands: the film was garbage, and that fact that I could tell this from only the first twenty minutes is further evidence of its garbagery.

Now I know at this point you’re all clambering to hear more about the two hours I spent alone with a Certain Reviewer, as for some bizarre reason, you’re all incredibly interested in our relationship built off pure loathing and irritation. Well, prepare yourselves readers, because a Certain Reviewer’s favorite filmmaker is not only Wes Anderson (!! There should be a limit to the amount of pastel on a screen at one point). But she also hasn’t read the best novel of all time, The Great Gatsby, and then told me that that ‘wasn’t that weird’ and asked me to ‘close my mouth’ because ‘its been two minutes’ and its ‘getting weird’.

However she did earn points back by liking Star Wars (if she hadn’t, I may have committed a crime worse than Cupboard Under the Stairs’ acting) and she also noted that Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet was her sexual awakening, and I to felt a deep attraction to DiCaprio and still do despite his insistence on growing a beard every few years. She laughed at this, but I think it was a laugh of agreement, so therefore it wasn’t bad.

Cupboard Under the Stairs was one of the worst atrocities committed to film, but a Certain Reviewer agreed that Han shooting first was an important part of his character, so all is not wrong with the world.

Text from James Potter to Sirius Black: do u think i look like leonardo dicaprio

Sirius Black: no

Sirius Black: is this bc evans said she liked him

James Potter: absolutely not

Text from James Potter to Remus Lupin: do i look like leo dicaprio

Remus Lupin: firstly, dont call him leo

Remus Lupin: and secondly, obvsly not

Remus Lupin: no two people have ever looked more different

James Potter: fuck u

Text from James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: do i look like leo dicaprio

Peter Pettigrew: no u look like u have a thing for evans

Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me to say that

Peter Pettigrew: whos evans

James Potter: do u not even read my fuckin column pete

Peter Pettigrew: it costs four pounds a week to subscribe to ur shitty paper i don’t have that kind of money

Godric’s Post                                                                                     3rd May 2009


The Godric’s own Sirius Black, gossip columnist extraordinaire, was sent to the Red Carpet premiere of A Streetcar Named the Knightbus and reported back to us on all the hot gossip and glamour of the night.

In what may have been my favorite red-carpet to date, not in the least because Rita Skeeter was thrown out for badgering guests only ten minutes in, but because the greatest thing in the world happened. It was so great in fact, that I managed to look past the colossal injustice of me not being invited to walk the carpet myself, which was clearly a mistake (the editor Remus J Lupin would like to clarify it was not) and have a roaring good night.

May I just clarify that by roaring good night I mean I got absolutely plastered (The editor wishes to state that The Godric does not promote drinking) so the night comes back to me in bits, and from what I can remember everyone looked great. I can’t remember what the film was about, or even if they let me in (editor: they did not.) but even if it wasn’t I’m sure the film was good too. (editor: it was average)

But as I mentioned above, the best thing in the world happened, and that was that The Godric’s very own film critic James Potter got to walk the red carpet. He will tell you this is because his insightful and poignant columns are finally getting the attention they deserve. Any sane person would then loudly talk over him and say the real reason is because he’s become rapidly more popular with the introduction of a Miss Lily Evans, also a film critic, into his weekly reviews. Or, as James calls her, A Certain Reviewer. (editor: for legal reasons the editor must assert that A Certain Reviewer could be any individual and to please not sue the paper for defamation.)

Turns out Miss Evans had a popularity boost as well, because she was also on the red carpet, looking ravishing in a backless teal ballgown, and honestly, readers, it was a sight to see Evans in that dress. Potter obviously thought so to, as he spent the entire night staring. And not subtle staring. Obvious, in-awe, I-can’t-believe-a-person-can-look this-good, staring.

Now, once I’d gotten over the fact that not once in our ten-year friendship had James ever given me that look, I was absolutely thrilled. I had a thirty pound bet going that they’d be together by May and I’d just won, if that look was any indication. (the editor: it was twenty pounds.)

Furthermore, Evans and Potter spent the entire night talking, not even noticing how the cameras had utterly latched on to them despite having no idea who they were, purely based on the looks they were giving each other. It was a sight to behold, seeing two utterly oblivious people in formalwear hold a conversation probably about the merits of dressing gowns (they talk about weird stuff like that) while what felt like the entire world took photos.

Now I’m aware I’m meant to be discussing the gossip and glamour from the whole night and not just two D-list celebrities who happen to both be my friends. But consider this: I do not care. These photos are modern art. Both so clearly have a crush on each other it’s embarrassing. Even Moony would have to agree (the editor: I do.). Anyway, in summary of the night: I bet everyone reading this that they’ll be screwing in a month. Mark my words.

[image: a man in a suit and a woman in a dress, against a while backdrop with A Street Car Named the Knightbus film logo printed across it. Her head is turned towards him, laughing, holding a delicate purse. He is looking at her, mouth parted, like she is the first girl he has ever seen. Something to be looked at just to make sure she didn’t disappear, blown by the wind, like in a dream. A dream girl- except not. A real girl, in a real dress, in a real place. He can’t quite believe it. A hundred camera flashes go in the background.]

Text from Sirius Black to James Potter: so whens the wedding

James Potter: i fuckin hate u

Sirius Black renamed the group james’ got the hots for evans

James Potter: this is cyber bullying

James Potter: im calling netsafe

Remus Lupin renamed the group netsafe cant help the fact that ur in love with evans

James Potter renamed the group stop now

Sirius Black renamed the group not a chance mate

Sirius Black created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on

This page received 17,798 likes.

Text from Lily Evans to Sirius Black: im going to fucking maim u. take it down.

Sirius Black: sent a link

Lily Evans: if that’s a link to the fucking page i will cut your balls off

Sirius Black: its not

Sirius Black: on an unrelated note do not click on that link it is a virus I just remembered

Remus Lupin created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on part two because lily made us delete the last one

This page received: 21,104 likes.

(don’t forget to check out ellie’s part here)

List of Beforus Ancestors

The Perfille - (Pre-scratch Aradia):

Guides the dead through the afterlife and puts those who are restless to rest.

The Bewright - (Pre-scratch Sollux):

Creator of Beforan Internet. Runs the beehive servers and looks after them.

The Cavalier - (Pre-Scratch Tavros):

Head of the royal guard. Keeps the peace in the more unruly provinces.

Her Huntship - (Pre-Scratch Nepeta):

Leader of a large population of wild-living trolls. Expert hunter.

The Diplomat - (Pre-Scratch Karkat):

A diplomat between authoritative figures and the people they impose over.

The Forebear - (Pre-Scratch Kanaya):

Carer of the Grub Mother and the one who assigns which grubs get culled by who.

Magistri Blademaw - (Pre-Scratch Terezi):

Supreme Judge over the Beforan Court system.

The Swindler - (Pre-Scratch Vriska):

Master thief and conman. Known to sell counterfeit goods and be very persuasive.

The Me%ani% - (Pre-Scratch Equius):

Founder of the Bionic Ward. Creates machines for medicinal purposes.

The Grand Guruvanti - (Pre-scratch Gamzee):

A travelling shaman like troll. Preaches of a peaceful religion.

Highlord Sciespell - (Pre-scratch Eridan):

Royal archmage and lead scientist both.

Her Imperial Radiance - (Pre-scratch Feferi):

Kind hearted empress with only the best in mind for her subjects.


In 1981, Chaosium released a box set based on Thieves’ World. Let’s take a moment to appreciate how crazy this was.

First off, Thieves’ World itself was kind of crazy. Anthologies, particularly fantasy ones, didn’t sell well in 1979 (or now, really). The genre itself, though growing in popularity, was still mostly fixated on high fantasy in the style of Tolkien – dark, urban fantasy of the sort in Thieves’ World was unusual. And yet, some of the biggest names in science fiction and fantasy climbed on board and the good ship Thieves’ World, in its first incarnation, stayed afloat for a decade and with a good reputation to boot.

Now comes the box set. Chaosium brought its usual attention to detail to Sanctuary, fleshing it out in the spirit of the stories, cramming the books full of maps. The encounter tables are nothing short of amazing – all fifteen pages of them. They’re designed to simulate the constant churn of events in a metropolitan area, even while players are trying to do other things. I’ve never encountered anything like them – for larger neighborhoods, they account for time of day and relative street size. Just flipping through them gives you a sense of how bustling Sanctuary would feel in a game.

And yet, that’s not even the real miracle of the box set. That’s revealed when you check out the stats for all your favorite Thieves’ World characters. What system is this for, anyway? Turns out: all of them. Somehow, Chaosium got the makers of eight major games to allow them to adapt Thieves’ World to their system so, in addition to RuneQuest, we have stats for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, Adventures in Fantasy, Chivalry & Sorcery, Dragonquest, Dungeons & Dragons, Fantasy Trip, Traveller (!?) and Tunnels & Trolls . Not only that, in several cases, they got the original designers of the game to do the work!

If you tried to start a project like this five years later, let alone today, I wager you’d have been laughed out of town.

HTTYD and Trollhunters crossover: Mixed Worlds Chapter 2


               I am so surprised by the feedback I got on this! 15 followers, reviews, and asks for more on tumblr. I mean, WOW! I hadn’t expected this story to get as many as 10 followers, seeing as how it is a crossover and those are never very popular.

               But seeing as how you all seemed to enjoy the first chapter, I thought I’d be nice and update sooner then what I originally planned! :D

               Jim gulped as the blue dragon dropped to the ground. Well- he assumed it was a dragon- seeing as how they seemed to be back in the time of dragons- but this one looked quite a bit different from Toothless, instead being a sky-blue color with two legs, being taller, bulkier, having a beak like snout and lots of spikes surround its head.

               But what made Jim do a double take was that there was a rider on this new dragon’s back. I mean, he could understand why Hiccup rode Toothless- he didn’t really have a choice given to the broken tailfin. Then again, it really shouldn’t’ve surprised Jim as much as it did that there was another dragon rider. It did seem like a very effective way to travel.

               The rider jumped down, and it was only then that Jim realized it was a female. He was about to step forward and introduce himself, but then her eyes caught his, and they narrowed harshly before she grabbed a HUGE, very sharp looking battle axe from the back of her dragon, holding it loosely in one hand, but looking, oh, so threatening.

               Jim gave a nervous laugh and took an involuntary step backwards, gulping when he realized that this blond could probably swipe his head right off in one quick swift movement, and he wouldn’t even see it coming. He backed into Claire, who by know was once again holding that stick, looking equally as fierce, but just not as… intimidating. A stick against a battle axe? Not much of a fight.

               “Uh… Astrid.” Hiccup said with a nervous chuckle. “You can- uh- put the axe away.”

               She glanced over at him, her eyes warming a bit as he said the words. She glanced back at Jim and the others, Toby huddling close to Claire’s side while hiding behind his paper bag.

               “But- you sent a distress signal-“

               “Toothless’s tailfin is broken.” Hiccup explained, waving a hand towards the black dragon; who by know was running about playfully with the other dragon, both chasing that same old butterfly.

               Astrid glanced back between Hiccup and the strangers, before nodding and lowering her axe. Jim breathed a sigh of relief, although he kept an eye on her, seeing as how she still had a hold on that axe. And she looked like she could still do some serious damage, even with only one finger on a weapon.

               Hiccup grabbed the blonds hand, pulling her towards Jim. They stopped before them, the two still holding hands, Astrid gripping her axe tightly in her free hand.

               “Jim, Claire, Toby, this is Astrid.” Hiccup introduced, looking fondly at the girl.

               Jim gave another nervous smile, laughing uncomfortably. “Uh- hey. I’m Jim.”

               Claire glared at the blond, shifting the stick in her hands. “Claire.”

               Toby peaked around the two, “I’m Tobias, but most call me Toby.”

               Astrid nodded to each of them, her eyes warming up to them- but only slightly. “So, who are you?” she asked. “Dragon hunters?”

               Again, Jim was confused. Dragon hunters? Were those similar to a Troll Hunter? And if so, why were these two so hostile towards them?

               “No.” Toby shook his head. “We’re Tr-“

               “Trying to find our way home!” Jim hurried to finish, giving Toby a warning look. He wasn’t certain they could trust these people with their secret. Trollhunters? Wouldn’t that sound rather suspicious?

               “So, you’re lost.” Astrid deduced, tossing her axe in the air and deftly catching it again, looking relaxed and calm- almost friendly. But the guarded look she wore denied that.

               “Um- yes.”

               Hiccup cleared his throat. “Yeah, about that, Astrid…”

               Astrid turned to look at him, her gaze unwavering as she silently told him to finish.

               Hiccup smiled nervously. “Uh, so… they’re actually kinda… they’re from the future.” He finished quickly. “They didn’t even know dragons existed until now. And I believe them, because they seemed beyond scared when Toothless found them. Besides, look at their cloths! And- and they have this weird… thing… that allows you to talk to someone from long distances.”

               Astrid looked puzzled, and she turned back to Jim and Claire. “Really? You’re from the future? How is that even possible?”

               Jim rolled his eyes and rubbed his neck, “Well, Blinky and all of us were in the Troll car, traveling back to another Troll Market, and somehow, he goofed up the travel system.”

               Claire waved her stick. “And also, if you try to hurt any of us.” Her eyes traveled over her friends.

               “I won’t.” Astrid replied, equally as firm. “Unless you threaten my friends or our dragons.”

               “So wait.” Jim interrupted the girl’s fight, “There’s more than just you two?”

               Hiccup nodded. “Yes. I mean, here there’s just me, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut. But back on Berk, lots of people ride dragons. And Berserker Island, and even some on Outcast Island.”            

               Jim blinked in disbelief. “Wow, so… there are a lot of dragon riders.”

               Hiccup grinned. “Not too many. I can name all the ones who do, since it is rather difficult to allow a dragon to let you ride them.”

               Silence fell heavily and Jim’s eyes flitted from place to place, trying to find something to say. Claire stepped away from him, going to toss her stick in the woods before walking back, clapping her hands together to get rid of dust.

               “So…” Toby said casually. “Can we see your base?”

               Hiccup was already walking over to the dragons, stopping at Astrid’s to search through her saddle bags. “Yes.” Hiccup whispered happily as he pulled out a thing medal bar. “Toothless!” he called out, moving closer to the black dragon.

               While Hiccup was fixing the tailfin, Jim slipped his hand into his pants pocket, wrapping his fingers around the amulet to make sure it was still there. With all this crazy time-travel stuff, he wasn’t certain if it would stick with him. But, it was still there, and if it lasted this long, hopefully it would stay for the time they were in the time of dragons.

               “There.” Hiccup stated, stepping back and patting Toothless’s head happily. “Ready for the sky again, bud!”

               Astrid smiled at the two softly, making Jim assume that there was something between the boy and girl, which made him smirk to himself as well. Romance in the dragon age. Sounded like some fictional tv show you’d see on Netflix.

               “Ready?” Hiccup asked, turning to look back at Jim and his friends. Jim smiled nervously and nodded.

               “Um- yeah, I guess. But there’s three of us, and only two dragons…”

               Hiccup shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Toothless can take two of you. Maybe Claire and you, and Toby can ride with Astrid.”

               Claire looked doubtful as she looked the smaller black dragon up and down.

               Hiccup laughed. “Seriously, my Dad- a 400 pound Viking- has ridden Toothless with me on him. He’ll be fine, especially for such a short flight.”

               Jim hesitated a moment longer before stepping forward and climbing up behind the saddle, his legs dangling in front of Toothless’s folded wings. Claire came next, climbing up behind him, her arms wrapping tightly around his waist, making his heart flutter oddly. It was still strange having her touch him.

               Hiccup was just about to climb on as well, but a little grunt from behind made him hesitate. Jim looked to where he glanced at, letting out a snort of laughter when he noticed that Astrid was struggling to help Toby aboard her dragon.

               “Er, here.” Hiccup offered, giving Toby’s behind a shove up towards Astrid. Toby practically rolled onto the dragon, coming to a stop when he flipped over onto his back.

               “I’m good!” he called out, lifting a hand in the air.

               “Okay.” Hiccup said, jumping up into the saddle, locking his feet/medal prosthetic into the pedals. “Ready to go?” He called behind him.

               Jim nodded and hung onto the saddle tightly while Claire tightened her arms around his stomach and buried her face into his shoulder. Toothless gave a little coo before jumping into the air, and they were flying.

Keep reading

The True Heroine of Homestuck

Yesterday, before going to sleep, I was thinking about a few of the plot threads and time loops that were closed in the background rather than showing us, and I began to notice something…

So, I believe in my Meta Theory, about the Kids sorta ‘transcending’ the format of the Webcomic, becoming their own people, and now being in the hands of the Fandom. They’re even updating on Snapchat now as if taking real selfies and doing stuff! But after examining the last Act again and checking a few things, I realised that, there was someone I don’t feel I’ve seen anyone praise for allowing the Session to be completed in the first place.

Someone whose actions directly fucked Lord English over and that screwed the Alpha Timeline SO BAD it forced Caliborn to take drastic measures.

Vriska found the Juju and used it against LE.

John got his zappy powers and retconned his Timeline.

But the one person who allowed either of them to EVER be successful was…

)(er Imperious Condescension.

Keep reading

List of exclamations by Robin

Holy Agility
Holy Almost
Holy Alphabet
Holy Alps
Holy Alter Ego
Holy Anagram
Holy Apparition
Holy Armadillo
Holy Armour Plate
Holy Ashtray
Holy Asp
Holy Astronomy
Holy Astringent Plum-like Fruit
Holy Audubon
Holy Backfire
Holy Ball And Chain
Holy Bank Balance
Holy Bankruptcy
Holy Banks
Holy Bargain Basements
Holy Barracuda
Holy Bat Logic
Holy Bat Trap
Holy Benedict Arnold
Holy Bijou
Holy Bikini
Holy Bill Of Rights
Holy Birthday Cake
Holy Black Beard
Holy Blackout
Holy Blank Cartridge
Holy Blizzard
Holy Bluebeard
Holy Bouncing Boiler Plate
Holy Bowler
Holy Bullseye
Holy Bunions
Holy Caffeine
Holy Camouflage
Holy Captain Nemo
Holy Caruso
Holy Catastrophe
Holy Cats
Holy Chicken Coop
Holy Chilblains
Holy Chocolate Eclair
Holy Cinderella
Holy Cinemascope
Holy Cliche
Holy Cliffhangers
Holy Clockwork
Holy Clockworks
Holy Cofax You Mean
Holy Coffin Nails
Holy Cold Creeps
Holy Complications
Holy Conflagration
Holy Contributing to the Delinquency of Minors
Holy Corpuscles
Holy Cosmos
Holy Costume Party
Holy Crack Up
Holy Crossfire
Holy Crucial Moment
Holy Cryptology
Holy D'artagnan
Holy Detonator
Holy Disappearing Act
Holy Distortion
Holy Diversionary Tactics
Holy Egg Shells
Holy Encore
Holy Epigrams
Holy Escape-hatch
Holy Explosion
Holy Fate-worse-than-death
Holy Felony
Holy Finishing-touches
Holy Fireworks
Holy Firing Squad
Holy Fishbowl
Holy Flight Plan
Holy Flip-flop
Holy Flood Gate
Holy Floor Covering
Holy Flypaper
Holy Fly Trap
Holy Fog
Holy Forecast
Holy Fork In The Road
Holy Fourth Amendment
Holy Fourth Of July
Holy Frankenstein
Holy Frankenstein Its Alive
Holy Fratricide
Holy Frogman
Holy Fruit Salad
Holy Frying Towels
Holy Funny Bone
Holy Gall
Holy Gambles
Holy Gemini
Holy Geography
Holy Ghost Writer
Holy Giveaways
Holy Glow Pot
Holy Golden Gate
Holy Graf Zeppelin
Holy Grammar
Holy Graveyards
Holy Greed
Holy Green Card
Holy Greetings-cards
Holy Guacamole
Holy Guadalcanal
Holy Gullibility
Holy Gunpowder
Holy Haberdashery
Holy Hailstorm
Holy Hairdo
Holy Hallelujah
Holy Halloween
Holy Hallucination
Holy Hamburger
Holy Hamlet
Holy Hamstrings
Holy Happenstance
Holy Hardest Metal In The World
Holy Harem
Holy Harshin
Holy Haziness
Holy Headache
Holy Headline
Holy Heart Failure
Holy Heartbreak
Holy Heidelberg
Holy Helmets
Holy Helplessness
Holy Here We Go Again
Holy Hi-fi
Holy Hieroglyphic
Holy High-wire
Holy Hijack
Holy Hijackers
Holy History
Holy Hoaxes
Holy Hole In A Donut
Holy Hollywood
Holy Holocaust
Holy Homecoming
Holy Homework
Holy Homicide
Holy Hoodwink
Holy Hoof Beats
Holy Hors D'Oeuvre
Holy Horseshoes
Holy Hostage
Holy Hot Foot
Holy Houdini
Holy Human Collectors Item
Holy Human Pearls
Holy Human Pressure Cookers
Holy Human Surfboards
Holy Hunting Horn
Holy Hurricane
Holy Hutzpa
Holy Hydraulics
Holy Hypnotism
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Holy Ice Picks
Holy Ice Skates
Holy Iceberg
Holy Impossibility
Holy Impregnability
Holy Incantation
Holy Inquisition
Holy Interplanetary Yardstick
Holy Interruptions
Holy Iodine
Holy IT and T
Holy Jack In The Box
Holy Jackpot
Holy Jail Break
Holy Jaw Breaker
Holy Jelly Molds
Holy Jet Set
Holy Jigsaw Puzzles
Holy Jitter Bugs
Holy Journey To The Center Of The Earth
Holy Jumble
Holy Karats
Holy Key Hole
Holy Key Ring
Holy Kilowatts
Holy Kindergarten
Holy Knit One Pearl Two
Holy Knock Out Drops
Holy Known Unknown Flying Objects
Holy Kofax
Holy Las Vegas
Holy Leopard
Holy Levitation
Holy Liftoff
Holy Living End
Holy Lodestone
Holy Long John Silver
Holy Looking Glass
Holy Love Birds
Holy Luther Burbank
Holy Madness
Holy Magic Lantern
Holy Magician
Holy Main Springs
Holy Marathon
Holy Mashed Potatoes
Holy Masquerade
Holy Matador
Holy Mechanical Armies
Holy Memory Bank
Holy Merlin Magician
Holy Mermaid
Holy Merry Go Around
Holy Mesmerism
Holy Metronome
Holy Miracles
Holy Miscast
Holy Missing Relatives
Holy Molars
Holy Mole Hill
Holy Mucilage
Holy Multitudes
Holy Murder
Holy Mush
Holy Naive
Holy New Year’s Eve
Holy Nick Of Time
Holy Nightmare
Holy Non Sequiturs
Holy Oleo
Holy Olfactory
Holy One Track Bat Computer Mind
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Holy Priceless Collection of Etruscan Snoods
Holy Pseudonym
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Holy Puzzlers
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Holy Robert Louis Stevenson
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Holy Romeo And Juliet
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Holy Schizophrenia
Holy Sedatives
Holy Self Service
Holy Semantics
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Holy Shamrocks
Holy Sherlock Holmes
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Holy Showcase
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Holy Time Bomb
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Holy Tipoffs
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Holy Understatements
Holy Underwritten Metropolis
Holy Unlikelyhood
Holy Unrefillable Prescriptions
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Holy Wayne Manor
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Holy Wedding Cake
Holy Whiskers
Holy Wigs
Holy Zorro

Chamber of Secrets Timeline

Mid-August - Ginny is given the diary

[Lucius] reached into Ginny’s cauldron and extracted, from amid the glossy Lockhart books, a very old, very battered copy of A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration.

End of August - Ginny’s already writing in the diary

They had almost reached the motorway when Ginny shrieked that she’d left her diary.

Beginning of October - Ginny’s appearance starts to attract attention from her brothers

October arrived, spreading a damp chill over the grounds and into the castle. […] Ginny Weasley, who had been looking pale, was bullied into taking some [Pepperup Potion] by Percy.

1st week of November - Mrs. Norris petrified

Ginny Weasley seemed very disturbed by Mrs. Norris’s fate. According to Ron, she was a great cat lover.

“But you haven’t really got to know Mrs. Norris,” Ron told her bracingly. “Honestly, we’re much better off without her.” Ginny’s lip trembled. “Stuff like this doesn’t often happen at Hogwarts,” Ron assured her. “They’ll catch the maniac who did it and have him out of here in no time. I just hope he’s got time to Petrify Filch before he’s expelled. I’m only joking —” Ron added hastily as Ginny blanched.

A few days later - Rumors are flying about what happened to Mrs. Norris

“That’s what I told Ginny,” said Percy fiercely, “but she still seems to think you’re going to be expelled, I’ve never seen her so upset, crying her eyes out, you might think of her, all the first years are thoroughly overexcited by this business —”

2nd week of November - Colin is petrified

Ginny Weasley, who sat next to Colin Creevey in Charms, was distraught, but Harry felt that Fred and George were going the wrong way about cheering her up. They were taking turns covering themselves with fur or boils and jumping out at her from behind statues. They only stopped when Percy, apoplectic with rage, told them he was going to write to Mrs. Weasley and tell her Ginny was having nightmares.

Mid-December - People think Harry is the heir because they find out he speaks Parseltongue

Ginny didn’t find it amusing either.

“Oh, don’t,” she wailed every time Fred asked Harry loudly who he was planning to attack next, or when George pretended to ward Harry off with a large clove of garlic when they met.

Mid-January - Ginny ditches the diary

“Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it’s funny to throw a book at me. […] I was just sitting in the U-bend, thinking about death, and it fell right through the top of my head,” said Myrtle, glaring at them. “It’s over there, it got washed out…”

Mid-February - Ginny gives Harry a valentine and sees the diary in his bag

“Wonder what Potter’s written in this?” said Malfoy, who obviously hadn’t noticed the year on the cover and thought he had Harry’s own diary. A hush fell over the onlookers. Ginny was staring from the diary to Harry, looking terrified.

Mid-May - Ginny breaks into the boys’ dormitory to get the diary

The contents of Harry’s trunk had been thrown everywhere. His cloak lay on the floor. The bedclothes had been pulled off his four-poster and the drawer had been pulled out of his bedside cabinet, the contents strewn over the mattress. Harry walked over to the bed, open-mouthed, treading on a few loose pages of Travels with Trolls. As he and Neville pulled the blankets back onto his bed, Ron, Dean, and Seamus came in. Dean swore loudly.

“What happened, Harry?”

“No idea,” said Harry. But Ron was examining Harry’s robes. All the pockets were hanging out.

“Someone’s been looking for something,” said Ron. “Is there anything missing?”

Harry started to pick up all his things and throw them into his trunk. It was only as he threw the last of the Lockhart books back into it that he realized what wasn’t there.

“Riddle’s diary’s gone,” he said in an undertone to Ron.

The next morning - Hermione is petrified

Hermione lay utterly still, her eyes open and glassy.

Last week of May - Ginny tries to talk to Harry/Ron

Just then, Ginny Weasley came over and sat down next to Ron. She looked tense and nervous, and Harry noticed that her hands were twisting in her lap.

“What’s up?” said Ron, helping himself to more porridge.

Ginny didn’t say anything, but glanced up and down the Gryffindor table with a scared look on her face that reminded Harry of someone, though he couldn’t think who.

“Spit it out,” said Ron, watching her.

Harry suddenly realized who Ginny looked like. She was rocking backward and forward slightly in her chair, exactly like Dobby did when he was teetering on the edge of revealing forbidden information.

“I’ve got to tell you something,” Ginny mumbled, carefully not looking at Harry.

“What is it?” said Harry.

Ginny looked as though she couldn’t find the right words.

“What?” said Ron.

Ginny opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Harry leaned forward and spoke quietly, so that only Ginny and Ron could hear him.

“Is it something about the Chamber of Secrets? Have you seen something? Someone acting oddly?”

First week of June - Ginny is taken into the chamber

“The Heir of Slytherin,” said Professor McGonagall, who was very white, “left another message. Right underneath the first one. ‘Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever.’ ”

And this is the version of events according to Tom:

“Haven’t you guessed yet, Harry Potter?” said Riddle softly. “Ginny Weasley opened the Chamber of Secrets. She strangled the school roosters and daubed threatening messages on the walls. She set the Serpent of Slytherin on four Mudbloods, and the Squib’s cat.”

“No,” Harry whispered.

“Yes,” said Riddle, calmly. “Of course, she didn’t know what she was doing at first. It was very amusing. I wish you could have seen her new diary entries… far more interesting, they became… Dear Tom,” he recited, watching Harry’s horrified face, “'I think I’m losing my memory. There are rooster feathers all over my robes and I don’t know how they got there. Dear Tom, I can’t remember what I did on the night of Halloween, but a cat was attacked and I’ve got paint all down my front. Dear Tom, Percy keeps telling me I’m pale and I’m not myself. I think he suspects me… There was another attack today and I don’t know where I was. Tom, what am I going to do? I think I’m going mad… I think I’m the one attacking everyone, Tom!’”

Harry’s fists were clenched, the nails digging deep into his palms.

“It took a very long time for stupid little Ginny to stop trusting her diary,” said Riddle. “But she finally became suspicious and tried to dispose of it. And that’s where you came in, Harry. You found it, and I couldn’t have been more delighted. Of all the people who could have picked it up, it was you, the very person I was most anxious to meet…”


“Imagine how angry I was when the next time my diary was opened, it was Ginny who was writing to me, not you. She saw you with the diary, you see, and panicked. What if you found out how to work it, and I repeated all her secrets to you? What if, even worse, I told you who’d been strangling roosters? So the foolish little brat waited until your dormitory was deserted and stole it back. But I knew what I must do. It was clear to me that you were on the trail of Slytherin’s heir. From everything Ginny had told me about you, I knew you would go to any lengths to solve the mystery — particularly if one of your best friends was attacked. And Ginny had told me the whole school was buzzing because you could speak Parseltongue…

"So I made Ginny write her own farewell on the wall and come down here to wait. She struggled and cried and became very boring.

I love how easy JKR made it for the reader (and Ginny’s brothers) to attribute all of Ginny’s symptoms to being an 11-year-old girl. Her having a diary in the first place, crying about Mrs. Norris/Colin, and being frightened by talk of "catching the maniac who did it.”


Trolltunga (Troll tongue) in Norway.

The Signs as Warcraft Lore Ridiculousness
  • Aries: Time travel/alternate draenor
  • Taurus: obligatory troll raid
  • Gemini: characters getting corrupted and turning evil
  • Cancer: dragon aspects getting powers to fight deathwing, another dragon aspect
  • Leo: Thrall
  • Virgo: female characters getting married off or disappearing
  • Libra: New Races vanishing after the expansion is over
  • Scorpio: Old gods corrupting everything
  • Sagittarius: "the draenei were an invasive species"
  • Aquarius: King varian's missing mother
  • Pisces: Neptulon vanishing forever
En’s fanfiction recommendations

[for some reason the links aren’t working? sorry…stupid Tumblr]


  • AU = alternate universe.
  • ⒳ = crossover fic.
  • gen = general. no pairings.
  • tw = trigger warnings / content warnings


❝ Come Around : by 3raser (kay_elizabeth_roxx).

⒳ Inception × tDKR. Arthur/Eames. Bane/Blake. partner-swapping. explicit.
Bane and Eames are brothers, estranged since Bane chose to follow in Talia’s footsteps. But when Bane abruptly returns, pulled from Gotham’s rubble by John Blake, long-neglected issues on both sides rise to the surface.


❝ I could be a damsel, and I’m often in distress, but I can handle it, so have a nice day, and move the fuck on : by cywscross.

cisfem!Ichigo AU. tw: emotional/psychological abuse. gen.
Rukia gives her a don’t-be-stupid look. “I’ve been shopping with you, Ichigo. I’ve noticed what you like but never buy.” ’

❝ Sight : by cywscross.

canon divergence AU. protective Zanpakutou spirits
Ichigo can see ghosts. He can see Shinigami and Hollows, and that’s fine with him, if not always safe. But he kind of wishes that he doesn’t also see Zanpakutou spirits. All Zanpakutou spirits. Because apparently, no one else can.’

❝ Storm the World with Reckless Abandon : by SSAerial.

⒳ Bleach × tHG. crackfic. dimension travel. Ichigo trolling Snow and Finnick tries…to contain him. crack humour from disproportionately-BAMF-Ichigo with a side of Finnick-fuelled angst.
#Ichigo fucks shit up #Finnick is sooo done #Snow doesn’t know what he’s dealing with #Coin too #They’re both fucked #Johanna thinks Ichigo’s a riot #Haymitch is drinking as usual

❝ Stranger in a Strange Land : by cywscross.

dimension-jumping, mirror!verse AU.
Ichigo lands himself in an alternate universe where the Gotei 13 rules with an iron fist, Aizen is actually not that bad a guy to hang out with, and both sides keep trying to recruit him. How is this his life?’

❝ Time Jump : by cywscross.

time travel. oneshot.
Six months after their exile from Soul Society, Urahara cooks up a machine for a glimpse of the future. As with most of Urahara’s experiments, things don’t go quite as planned.’


❝ A Little Matter of Compatibility : by MArvensis (MSylvatica).

⒳ Pacific Rim × DGM (Pacific Rim fusion). Allen/Kanda.
“We have to test you with Allen. We can’t find a good match, and we can’t afford to have Crown Clown grounded for lack of a pilot. We have to test you, if only to eliminate you.” Kanda snorted. “We’re compatible.” “Ah…how do you know?” “Because we’ve been screwing for the last ten months.”

❝ Getting Things Done : by metisket.

⒳ FMA × DGM (FMA universe). the children’s brigade.
“You can’t be here,” Edward snarls, pointing accusingly. Allen forces himself to stop looking horrified; he pulls the act around himself like a shield, and smiles gamely. “But here I am. Hello, Ed. It’s been a while.” ’

❝ What You Make Of It : by metisket.

⒳ DGM × FMA (DGM universe). chosen families.
Timcampy beat Allen to them, swooped happily over their heads, and bit Ed on the shoulder for the hell of it. Ed had missed the little maniac. “Hey, Tim.” He held out a hand which Tim ignored in favor of zooming insanely around. “Still fightin’ the good fight? Stealing Allen’s food for me now I can’t do it?” Tim did a gleeful barrel roll that meant hell yeah. Ed laughed.’


❝ About Edogawa : by Ellen Brand.

third person p.o.v..
the new guy in Division One asks about the weird kid who keeps cropping up whenever bodies hit the ground. regularly. in numbers. hilarity ensues at his expense.

❝ Akumu : by joisbishmyoga.

BlackOrg!Twins AU + shrunken Heiji AU. implied incest. tw:threats of rape/non-con.
Heiji really shouldn’t have followed those two suspicious guys in black at the amusement park.

❝ The Candy Con : by The Silversage.

Conan fakes tears to bait armfuls of sweets while he and a grouchy Heiji are waiting for the girls.

❝ Fallout : by The Silversage.

movie!verse continuation after events of Raven Chaser. hurt/comfort + mystery adventure. Conan & Kaito broship. incomplete.

❝ Inconceivable : by joisbishmyoga.

twins!AU. tw:kidnapping, tw: torture. hostage situations. generally dark.
In the face of a DNA analysis Kaito can’t deny, he begins uncovering the rest of his family’s secrets. Too bad he’s not the only one looking.

❝ Nerves of Steel : by Ellen Brand.

I will have what is yours…Somebody just sent Kuroba Kaito a heist note. And the treasures being targeted are very precious indeed…

❝ An Unprofessional Opinion : by Ellen Brand.

third person p.o.v.. essay. psychology/personality analysis by guest character Cade Moroboshi…hired by Hakuba, to catalogue the detectives (including himself).

❝ An Unprofessional Opinion: Gaiden. : by Ellen Brand.

 …sequel to An Unprofessional Opinion.


❝ Just an Ordinary Boy : by rosewarren.

Rose/Tentoo. aliens, Torchwood, adventure and romance. post S4.

❝ Impossible Adventures Through Time and Space : by rosewarren.

 …sort-of-sequel to Just an Ordinary Boy. dimension jumping. Rose’s little brother is a mouthy cutie.

DORAÉMON (ドラえもん)

❝ のび子ちゃん : by 迷子A.

cisfem!Nobita AU comic (※ Japanese).


❝ Ten Years : by glorious_spoon.

Ethan p.o.v.. pre-movie. gen.
Ethan was the one with the rocket strapped to his back, but there’s always more to the story.’


❝ その扉の向こうへ : by 夕日赤丸.

post-AO!verse AU (※ Japanese). addresses the alternate world theories, the disappeared adopted Thurston children play an active role, and Ao reunites with his living sister and adopted family.

EVANGELION (ヱヴァンゲリヲン)

❝ i missed you for 29 years : by lisettedelapin.

Shinji/Kaworu. Angel-less!AU.
somehow everyone managed to live past fifteen and now kaworu doesn’t know what he’s doing.’


❝ First Patrol : by sugarcandyaddiction.

canon divergence. Jimmy/Ben. explicit.
You just sounded like someone I could have been friends with. You know, before.

❝ Fire Light : by sugarcandyaddiction.

 …sequel to First Patrol. Jimmy/Ben.


❝ Home series : by verdreht.

 Dom/Brian. canon divergence.

❝ Never Leave Home Again

 …post-F&F1 hurt/comfort.

❝ Won’t Go Home Without You

 …post-F&F2 hurt/comfort.

❝ Not Coming Home

 …post-F&F2 hurt/comfort.


❝ Nerd Chic : by Up_sideand_down.

adorable fic. polyamory-ish, Zack/Angeal/Genesis/Sephiroth/Cloud.
Cloud has needed glasses his entire life and never knew it. Once he breaks down and gets some spectacles it turns out that he has become quite the spectacle for quite a few people.

❝ Too Good To Be True : by Miko.

FF7. post Advent Children. Zack lives AU. Cloud/Zack.
“Hey, kid.” Zack’s voice was harsh and raspy after a long period of disuse, but his quirked smile was still the same. Lifting a hand that trembled with weakness, he brushed his fingers over the boy’s - no, young man’s - cheek. “I always knew you were still in there somewhere. Welcome back.”


❝ Absolution : by mellish.

post Brotherhood series. gen.
Al regains his weight, his strength, his coordination. Ed watches.’

❝ Getting Things Done : by metisket.  

⒳ FMA × DGM (FMA universe). the children’s brigade.
‘ “You can’t be here,” Edward snarls, pointing accusingly. Allen forces himself to stop looking horrified; he pulls the act around himself like a shield, and smiles gamely. “But here I am. Hello, Ed. It’s been a while.” ’

❝ Reverti Ad Praeteritum by Batsutousai.

time travel AU. Ed/Roy.
Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what’s to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he’d made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.’

❝ What You Make Of It : by metisket.

⒳ DGM × FMA (DGM universe). chosen families.
Timcampy beat Allen to them, swooped happily over their heads, and bit Ed on the shoulder for the hell of it. Ed had missed the little maniac. “Hey, Tim.” He held out a hand which Tim ignored in favor of zooming insanely around. “Still fightin’ the good fight? Stealing Allen’s food for me now I can’t do it?” Tim did a gleeful barrel roll that meant hell yeah. Ed laughed.’


❝ The Prerogative of the Brave (1, 2, 3, 4,) : by eenaangel.

⒳ GoT × VD. Caroline/Robb. Caroline as the reincarnated eldest child of Cersei and Robert.
A prince destined to be born, but is not to live. A prince of thick black hair and bright blue eyes-a prince born too soon and taken away even quicker. A prince who is meant to be born alone and to die the same way.
But here is where the story is changed

GOKUSEN (ごくせん)

❝ The New Student : by arrasails1977.

OFC p.o.v.. a girl transfers to Kurogin incognito and the boys take her under their wing as bros.


❝ Adapt or Die : by Daybreak.

Hanna retracing roads from her past. angsty/melancholic. Hanna/Sophie.


❝ pitiful things sometimes born in hospitals : by persiflet.

⒳ Hannibal × HDM. His Dark Materials fusion (a.k.a. Daemons AU). tw: ableism. autistic character.
The man who killed her father has no daemon. “There’s a gaping hole in Will Graham,” Ms Lounds says, her words so carefully formed between pearly white teeth.


❝ C'est La Vie : by cywscross.

time travel AU. Hufflepuff!Harry AU. gen, but background pairings of James/Lily and Sirius/Remus. some angst. hiatus/incomplete.
The war ends on Harry’s twenty-first Halloween, and, one year later, with nothing truly holding him in that world, Fate takes this opportunity to toss her favourite hero into a different dimension to repay her debt. A new, stress-free life in exchange for having fulfilled her prophecy. A life where Neville is the Boy-Who-Lived instead, James and Lily are still alive, and that Harry Potter is relatively normal but a downright arse. Dimension-travelling Harry just wants to know why he has no say in the matter. And why he’s fourteen again. And why Fate thinks, in all her infinite wisdom, that his hero complex won’t eventually kick in. Then again, that might be exactly why Fate dumped him there.

❝ Dead Man Walking : by cywscross.

alive!Regulus AU. Regulus as Harry’s god-uncle figure.
Kreacher goes back to save his master, and Regulus survives but his near-death-by-Inferi puts him into a coma for the next sixteen years.’

❝ Eyesight : by TGP.

Harry/Draco, Harry/All pretty much. polyamory! …tw: past rape.
‘contains genderqueer, polyamory, a huge blended family, the press trying to ruin people’s good names, a couple confused kids trying to figure out the world, and lots and lots of love. book compliant, except for one or two tiny, itty bitty details. epilogue non-compliant because reasons.’
Sometimes unnoticed things are unimportant. Sometimes they change a lot of things.

❝ Petrichor : by BlameMyMuses.

Master of Death!Harry. canon divergence AU.
In attempting to stop Sirius from falling through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, Harry goes half through it himself before being dragged back into the living world. After the battle, things should have gone back to normal…but they don’t.’

❝ vagaries and vicissitudes : by aud_k.

illustrated. racebent!Harry. tw: emotional/psychological abuse.
When Harry is nine, Aunt Petunia takes a pair of shears to his head.’


❝ Hunger Games Aesthetic → Time Travel AU : by cywscross.

collage graphics and short fic by Tumblr posts.
It’s the 74th Hunger Games all over again, and she doesn’t know the hows or whys, only that she found an old pocket watch in the attic of one of the houses she was cleaning out right before she opened her eyes and found herself in the past, standing beside an Effie who didn’t understand loss, and facing a sea of people who haven’t yet given up after all. She’s always been a pragmatist though, so first thing’s first – where is that stupid drunk? Because if she’s going to suffer – again – through all the bullshit that was her life ever since she volunteered, and just when homes were being rebuilt and people were becoming less afraid and the future in general was finally kind of starting to look up, she’s damn well dragging Haymitch down with her.


❝ The Boy Who Spoke With Ghosts : by AvocadoLove.

⒳ Inception × Sixth Sense. supernatural AU. post-movie. Arthur/Eames. tw: gore. tw: kidnapping. tw: torture.
No one suspects Arthur. He’s too practical, too organized, too sensible to believe in the supernatural.
Based on the kink meme prompt: Arthur’s real name is Cole Sear

❝ Come Around : by 3raser (kay_elizabeth_roxx).

⒳ Inception × tDKR. Arthur/Eames. Bane/Blake. partner-swapping. explicit.
Bane and Eames are brothers, estranged since Bane chose to follow in Talia’s footsteps. But when Bane abruptly returns, pulled from Gotham’s rubble by John Blake, long-neglected issues on both sides rise to the surface.

❝ Incipit : by thehoyden.

modern AU. Arthur/Eames.
Arthur has been his editor from the beginning. Eames says he won’t work with anyone else, and what Arthur will never tell him is that he would cut anyone who tried.


❝ Seeking That Which Is Lost : by Jedi Buttercup (jedibuttercup).

⒳ tM & tMR × Leverage.
It was no surprise, really, that the guy was related to Eliot. “I’m sorry, you want us to do what?” Nate asked, raising his eyebrows at him. ‘Call me Rick‘ cast a sidelong look at the barstool where Eliot was studiously playing with his beer bottle; Eliot sighed and shrugged his shoulders a little, conveying whole sentences without so much as saying a word.

❝ The Carnahan Gene for Luck : by Jedi Buttercup (jedibuttercup).

 …sequel to Seeking That Which Is Lost.
“Now, Uncle Rick,” Sophie said. “You know very well you’re not in a position to cast stones.”


❝ Brightly Burning : by Araceil.

⒳ HP × KHR. crossover worldbuilding. twin-fic to Dusk to Dawn by Reighost. Harry has Sky Flame. Reborn/Harry.
Green eyes widened, practically dominating his face as he slammed the glass down and very nearly broke it, coughing and spluttering as he reached for the napkins the bartender had left for him. Reborn cackled outright as the boy fixed him with an accusing watery stare, mopping his face.
“You…are a…b-bas…tard,” he coughed out painfully.
“Puppy,” Reborn retorted, casually appropriating the unappreciated glass from the kid and taking a very pointed sip in front of that accusing green glare

❝ The Darkest Fire : by Mizuki99.

Tsuna/Xanxus, Tsuna/Reborn. explicit. AU.
Time changes people and Sawada Tsunayoshi is no exception. Seventeen years of age, Tsuna goes out for a walk after a heated argument with Reborn…only he never reaches his destination. Bagged and gagged, Tsuna finds himself in enemy territory. Now he has to find his way back to Japan without letting his hunters know that he’s Vongola Decimo.’

❝ Darkest Edge : by Mizuki99.

 …sequel to The Darkest Fire.

❝ The Dead and the Forsworn : by metisket.

Hibari p.o.v.. gen.
Hibari is starting to doubt that his carefully ordered world will ever recover from Sawada Tsunayoshi.’

❝ Dusk To Dawn by Reighost.

⒳ HP × KHR. crossover worldbuilding. twin-fic to Brightly Burning by Araceil. Harry-Tsuna has Sky Flame. Reborn/Harry. angst. reincarnation. tw: kidnapping.
Harry Potter’s life reached its end, turned to dusk and Sawada Tsunayoshi’s life has yet to begin. A Sky from Dusk to Dawn.

❝ Fifty Snapshots - Sun and Sky : by cywscross.

Reborn doesn’t think of Tsuna as that wimpy kid in Iemitsu’s photo anymore.’

❝ Forged in Flame : by Reighost.

⒳ HP × KHR. crossover worldbuilding. Black family as Cloud-Flame attributes.
Harry Potter’s encounter with Voldemort in the graveyard in fourth year went differently and a split-second decision changes everything. An old bloodline awakens, memories clash and a new Harry Potter is reborn.

❝ To Kill a King : by ArborMist.

Tsuna/Reborn. TYL!verse AU.
Reborn hasn’t killed in fifteen years and Tsuna won’t answer him.’

❝ To That Faraway Sky : by cywscross.

twin!AU. gen, Tsuna & Hibari friendship. tw: emotional/psychological abuse.
Tsuna’s never liked attention so it’s only natural for Ienari to stand out more. But being himself means a mom and a brother who don’t care about him, and Tsuna doesn’t have enough tolerance to overlook it for long.’

❝ To The Victor Go The Cuddles by Reighost for Araceil.

⒳ HP × KHR. crossover worldbuilding. adorable fic. Harry’s baby familiar shape-shifts to beat the Gryffindors with the power of cute.
“Where did you get the gold for the start-up bets?” he asked the silver haired teen playing bookie, eying the half-full cauldron with a look of disbelief. He hadn’t given him any spending money…also exactly how many people had placed bets already?
“I sold some of my dynamite to a few Ravenclaws.” Hayato grinned brightly at him over the top of his glasses, looking away from the little black notebook he was scribbling in to flash him a proud thumbs up

❝ Tsunahiki : by metisket.

spoilers ch 281. in which Tsuna is hilariously described as a creepy hamster and there are feels.
Intuition. Blood of the Vongola. Reborn can call it whatever he wants, but nothing will change the fact that it feels like an alien taking up residence in Tsuna’s skull. A know-it-all alien.’

❝ Under Wing : by Reighost.

⒳ HP × KHR. crossover worldbuilding. tw: murder. secret/unknown identities. angst and fluff. also crossover elements with xxxHolic, Cardcaptor Sakura and Spirited Away.
Prophecies where tricky things and lies are even tricker, Sirius’s death becomes a catalyst and Dumbledore’s lies crumple like a house of cards. Harry is left with a burning question…Who is he really?

❝ What We Fought For : by metisket.

canon divergence. TYL!verse real!mafia AU.
Mistake, confusion, and misdirection are the allies of a truly successful family. It’s hard to beat something that defies definition. (There is no criminal underworld; it’s your imagination. You’re paranoid. There’s nothing here for you to fight.)


❝ Leaving Well Enough Alone : by metisket.

third person p.o.v.. Ichigaya and Tabata follow Tokine and Yoshimori one night and see for themselves the cause for the latter’s constant drowsiness – they see him awake. grumpy Kagemiya features, to boot.
“Tabata, if we die doing this, my mother will disinherit me.” “She won’t be able to. You’ll be dead. Now shh!” ’


❝ Alone in Anórien : by Swytla.

non!MarySue. during a walking trip up in Canadian mountains, Megan strays into Arda through an old Native American site. running from Ork-hunting men, she is taken in by the Druedain folk… slow build.

❝ Master of Wood, Water and Hill : by Karmic Acumen.

AU. BAMF!Bilbo, BAMF!hobbits, sentient!BagEnd.
Bilbo Baggins wondered what Gandalf was thinking. Fortunately, the one living under the delusion he was a regular hobbit was NOT him. Oh well, Bag End would sort him out. His house did NOT approve of vandalism, thank you very much.’


❝ The Boys Wear Red… : by Orcusnox (Cat9894).

Peter/Wade. role reversal AU – merc!Peter and hero!Wade. post Iron Man 3. tw: torture. tw: gore. explicit.
{Hey it’s the Merc with the Mouth!} [Not this universe, idiot.] “Shut up you two. Hey Pooly!” Peter called cheerfully, creating a nice bit of web from which to hang. “Any reason you decided to show up and be all friendly?”

❝ And Are Black And Blue : by Orcusnox (Cat9894).

 …sequel to The Boys Wear Red. tw: torture. tw: gore. explicit.
Peter and Wade’s relationship might be back on track, but their lives are far more hectic.

❝ I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you : by Mizzy.

Steve/Tony. secret identities.
Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD.
This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man.Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

❝ Peter Parker’s Home for the Wayward Villain : by BeanieBaby.

adorable crackfic. normal!Peter. chosen family, where Peter takes in stray villains. Peter/Wade. Steve/Bucky. redemption story.
“I’m Peter, what’s your name?” He asks finally.
The silence stretches for another minute before the man reaches for the sweater. He croaks one word. “Asset.”


❝ Arthur’s Silent Guardian : by Sydelle Rein. 

AU. gen. secret identity.
a sorcerer kidnaps Prince Arthur as bait, intent on wringing out the truth from the warlock himself – why does the prophesied Emrys protect Camelot and the Pendragons?

❝ On Shaky Ground : by Sydelle Rein.

 …sequel to Arthur’s Silent Guardian. hurt/comfort. 
With the unknown identity of his sorcerer-protector plaguing him, Arthur is unsure how to deal with this new knowledge. Meanwhile, a series of mysterious earthquakes is threatening the safety of Camelot.’

❝ King Arthur’s Ward : by jaqtkd.

AU. post-Merlin/Morgana.
It’s been four years since Arthur claimed Camelot back and now his and Merlin’s destiny is truly set to begin. However, Morgana’s continuing quest for vengeance will result in unexpected consequences for all generations of the royal family.’

❝ This Is The Hunting Ground : by AmiNoo.

gen. Arthur and Merlin feels.
In the depths of the forest, a hunt is underway for a dangerous fugitive - one who had dared to call himself a ‘friend of Camelot’: “Until then, chase me.”


❝ Seeking That Which Is Lost : by Jedi Buttercup (jedibuttercup).

⒳ tM & tMR × Leverage.
It was no surprise, really, that the guy was related to Eliot. “I’m sorry, you want us to do what?” Nate asked, raising his eyebrows at him. ‘Call me Rick‘ cast a sidelong look at the barstool where Eliot was studiously playing with his beer bottle; Eliot sighed and shrugged his shoulders a little, conveying whole sentences without so much as saying a word.

❝ The Carnahan Gene for Luck : by Jedi Buttercup (jedibuttercup).

 …sequel to Seeking That Which Is Lost.
“Now, Uncle Rick,” Sophie said. “You know very well you’re not in a position to cast stones.”


❝ Ventricle : by etceteralish.

backstory spoilers. bird!Aizawa.
Over the years, Bird learns to walk and talk like a human.’


❝ backslide : by blackkat.

time travel AU. Sasuke/Naruto, shifts to Kakashi/Naruto.
Kakashi looks between the two of them for a moment, and then asks airily, “Anyone want to fill in those of us who don’t live in the T&I basement?” Genma flicks a hand at the papers Ibiki dropped. “There’s been a wave of bounties being claimed in all of the Elemental Countries these past few months. Not small ones, either—Deidara of Iwa, Hoshigaki Kisame of Kiri, and Kakuzu of Taki. All S-rank missing-nin, and all rumored to be part of the same organization. I’d say someone’s got a grudge.”

❝ criminals do it better series : by blackkat.

adorable. modern AU. Kakashi/Obito. domestic banter during crises.
A super-cracky modern!AU where Akatsuki is a group of quasi-reformed terrorists and former suicide squad now (nominally) on the side of the angels, saving the planet their own way. Mostly accidentally. Or through recycling. (That’s entirely Obito’s fault.)

❝ The Life and Times of a Shinobi Den Mother series : by blackkat.

chosen family. Genma/Raidou, and alternatively, Gai/Raidou.

❝ Myoushuu no Fuuin : by May Wren.

genius!Naruto. cohesive Team 7. canon divergence AU.
A seal had managed to defeat and imprison the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the strongest demon to ever exist. It was just ink on paper-or a stomach, as the case may be-and it held so much power…‘Yeah,’ Naruto decided ‘I gotta get me some of that.’

❝ reverse : by blackkat.

time travel AU. role reversal with Naruto and Kurama from blackkat’s previous time travel fic backslide. human!Kurama. chosen families. sort-of body dysphoria.
To make a tragedy, you break something beautiful and frame the pieces. To make a victory, you break something mighty and rebuild it piece by piece. To make a life, you glue the pieces together and hope for the best. Kurama’s still getting the hang of this ‘human’ thing, but given that he’s 30 years back in time with catastrophes to prevent and a blond brat to save, he’ll have to figure things out on the fly. Luckily, living with Naruto’s been good for his ability to improvise, if nothing else.


❝ Child of Spirits : by harunekonya.

canon divergence, post ep 51-53/S4E11-13 (spoilers).
Natsume is spirited away by a free Madara and raised among spirits, until the day an exorcist learns of him.

❝ Dust and Gold : by Mr. Moop.

Matoba kidnaps Natsume and unleashes youkai to torture him into submission. angsty.

❝ Kings and Thieves : by Mr. Moop.

 …sequel to Dust and Gold. it got darker. tw: physical abuse.
Natsume must now find out how to fix the Book of Friends with Natori’s help. Matoba has other plans.’

❝ Secrets series : by VickyVicarious & aishiteru.

canon divergence AU. gen.
At age eight, Natsume goes to live with the grandmother he’s never met, Reiko. A series of shorts regarding various aspects of their lives as Natsume grows up.’


❝ Wonder : comic by feriowind + fic by pfdiva.

#newt the small mother. Hermann and baby Kaijuu.
It takes a while for Hermann to learn the finer nuances of communicating with a kaiju, who understand best and learn fastest when emotions and images accompany one’s words.’


❝ Fine : by verdreht.

Matt looking out for a hallucinating Becker –who is decidedly not ‘fine'– after a minor incursion settles. Connor/Becker.

❝ Texts from ARC #602 : by verdreht.

Connor/Becker. emotional hurt/comfort.
‘#602: You can do it. What doesn’t kill us just drives us to drink.’

❝ Good Help : by smilebackwards.

AU. Connor is the Lester family nanny. he ends up in the ARC anyway. with a side of Connor/Becker.

❝ Brain Freeze : by verdreht.

Connor/Stephen. S2E1 follow-up. hurt/comfort.
He really should’ve known it wasn’t just brain freeze.’


❝ Zastruga : by Solemini.

canon divergence AU. tw: emotional/psychological abuse.
Jack Frost has spent three hundred years in the care of Pitch Black, hidden away from a world that neither sees nor wants him.’

❝ Beneath A Sanguin Moon : by Solemini.

⒳ tHG × RotG (tHG universe).
Jack Frost was not the name drawn from the pot.’


❝ Soldier’s Heart : by Piplover.

Holmes/Watson slowbuild. hurt/comfort, PTSD!Holmes.
After his return from his three years’ “death,” not all is as it should be for Holmes. The road is long ahead, but Watson will always be there to walk it with him.


❝ Wrong : by Holly Lukeman.

Winchester brothers bonding. gen. hurt/comfort.
Sam and Dean are on low-key hunt three weeks after the events of Lucifer Rising. What was supposed to be a normal haunting turns into something much worse…

❝ Brotherhood series : by various (Ridley C. James, Williamson Scott, Tidia).

Brotherhood!verse. multiple fics in chronological order through link.


❝ Antigravity : by sinestrated.

Kirk/Spock. genius!Kirk. hurt/comfort. disabled character.
Five times Spock was surprised by the brilliance of Kirk’s mind, and one time he totally saw it coming.

❝ Atlas : by distractedKat.

novel-length fic. post-movie AU. Kirk/Spock. genius!Kirk, genius!Spock. hurt/comfort. …the cadets who survived Nero’s attack go above and beyond to rebuild their Academy.
Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning.


❝ Shadows of the Future : by stormqueen873.

tPM AU. ObiAniQui bonding, with a realistic young Anakin. gen.
Obi-Wan lost the duel on Mustafar, but instead of dying, he finds himself on a ship leaving Tatooine, with his old Master and a familiar young boy.

❝ Re-Entry series : by flamethrower.

canon divergence AU. extended universe characters and events. Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, while still a young Padawan, suffers an injury and wakes up with all of the memories, experience, training, and Force-strength of Old Ben Kenobi. It isn’t long before the Jedi discover that Anakin Skywalker, a five-year-old slave from the Outer Rim, has undergone the exact same change.


❝ A Miracle For Christmas : by cywscross.

Stiles/Peter. emotional hurt/comfort and fluff.
The ornaments are all broken or crumbling, the paint faded and chipped, and all of it blackened and singed, just like the Hales’ tragic past. And Stiles can’t stand just leaving them like that.’

❝ But Not With Haste : by uraneia.

⒳ TW × XM1. Stiles/Derek.
in which Derek is the werewolf version of Wolverine and Stiles is Rogue and the plot of X-Men progresses accordingly, with a few notable deviations.’

❝ drowning in the sea of you : by Corpium.

empath!Stiles AU. Stiles/Peter. hurt/comfort.
Scott’s sickly sweet panic spurs Stiles into action, and he jams his keys into the ignition right as the alpha tosses Derek’s not-quite-dead, desperate body past them. While Stiles throws the Jeep into reverse, the alpha’s rage turns warm and satisfied, a slow burn under Stiles’s skin that feeds into his own anger. No one’s fucking dying tonight.’

❝ Meet the Family : by cywscross.

Stiles/Peter. protective!Stilinski family OCs.
“Peter, I have six aunts, eight uncles, and fifteen cousins all coming to town for Christmas dinner, a father who can’t cook to save anyone’s life, and exactly seventy-five hours and counting to get everything ready! I literally cannot spare a single second for your crazy right now!”

❝ Play It Again : by metisket.

dimension travel. magic!Stiles AU. Stiles/Derek.
Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)’ 

❝ This Doesn’t Hurt : by metisket.

 …sequel to Play It Again. Melissa p.o.v..
Melissa isn’t sure how she accidentally adopted a teenager, but she’s confident that somehow, it’s all Stiles Stilinski’s fault.

❝ Your Heart on Your Sleeve : by cywscross.

empath!Stiles AU. Stiles/Peter.
Stiles is an empath, and it’s just his luck that he’s surrounded by broken people. Then again, it’s not like he has any room to talk either. Surprisingly enough, Peter helps, something neither of them realizes for a good long while.’

❝ Wolf Whistle series : by ashinan.

magic!Stiles AU. Stiles/Derek.

…companion fics of Wolf Whistle-verse…

❝ Smoking Lightning : by ashinan.

❝ Children’s Work : by ashinan.

 …Sheriff p.o.v..

❝ Sideshow Villain I & II : by ashinan.

 …Peter p.o.v..

❝ 'one-eyed kitsune!Stiles’ request : by cywscross.

kitsune!Stiles AU. Stiles/Peter. banter.
Stiles gets hurt. Not badly, but it’s still humiliating. He’s several hundred years old; he should not be falling prey to Inari-forsaken bear traps.’


❝ 泉くんがCCGに加わる話1【喰種+寄生獣クロスオーバー】 : by えむ@牛歩状態.

⒳ TG × Kiseijuu. (※ Japanese). canon divergence AU.


❝ Stockholm : by Cru- That Uptown Girl.

Bay-verse canon divergence AU. tw: kidnapping, tw: abuse/gaslighting, tw: torture. not-quite-complete.
Shockwave took Sam captive, and is slowly turning him into one of them – a Decepticon pet trained to take down the Autobots.

❝ Transformers: Prime Divide : by Karmic Acumen.

Bay-verse canon divergence AU. BAMF!Sam. some original worldbuilding.
Sam refused to think it was over after Bumblebee was captured by Sector Seven and they were all carted off like criminals in the middle of the night. He just didn’t expect the next bout of interference to come from within Sector Seven itself.’


❝ Republic of Heaven Community Radio series : by SailorPtah.

⒳ WtNV × HDM. Daemons AU. Carlos/Cecil. awesome crossover worldbuilding.
More than a century after the events of His Dark Materials, a Rusakov particle physicist (and lifelong Lyra Belacqua fanboy) brings a team of experimental theologians to Night Vale.

❝ He Says He Is An Experimental Theologian : by SailorPtah.

Dr. Lyra Belacqua’s true legacy is still bigger than Carlos ever imagined…until he took a team of scholars to study Rusakov particles in the most theologically interesting community in Hispania Nova. Now his own day-to-day life is full of things like angels, witches, hooded spectres, portals between worlds, vague yet menacing branches of the Magisterium, and a man who walks around without his daemon and can read an alethiometer as easily as a stop sign.’

❝ Cecil On The N.T.A. : by SailorPtah.

…WtNV episode “Subway” with daemons, in two parts.

❝ Five Anonmeme Threads About Carlos ; by SailorPtah.

…adorable outsider p.o.v. banter.

❝ A Blinking Light Up On The Clouded Mountain : by SailorPtah.

…‘The Republic of Heaven cannot be allowed to fall. Especially not to a Smiling God.’

❝ A Dragon at the Opera : by SailorPtah.

…‘In an alternate dimension of an alternate multiverse, Hiram takes a friend to see a show.

❝ Let The Shadows Fall Behind You : by SailorPtah.

…tw: suicidal thoughts.
It’s a few years after the Republic of Heaven took out the Smiling God, and teenage Janice is approaching her separation ordeal. Her uncle Cecil is fine with that! Absolutely fine! Or at least, he’s coping. He is doing an excellent job of coping.
Until he isn’t

❝ End-Of-Year Secret Police WIP Amnesty Showcase : by SailorPtah.

…‘As a holiday gift, the Sheriff has extended limited amnesty to people who post fanfiction they never intend to finish.


❝ One By One : by CourierNew.

alternate ending post-game. spoilers, especially for the Pacifist Ending. male!Frisk. male!Chara. gen.
The world is saved, but that wasn’t enough. Asriel remains lost in the dark. To retrieve him, Frisk is ready to crack apart time itself. As he turns back the clock again and again, undoing every happy ending, Sans reluctantly confronts his own past in the most secret corners of the underground. Together, they must overcome their regrets, recover the last soul, and give the world back its future.
Hold your friends close. Seek the broken man. Beware the whispering shadows. Be kind. Be brave. And above all - stay determined


❝ Sunflower : by metisket.

spoilers for Himawari’s backstory. character study.


❝ Diamonds in His Pockets : by Renaissance Makoto J.

fairytale kingdom with magic and curses. slash romance. prince/knight.
He’d seen the children in the town below the castle playing at being Gilbert. He’d seen them wave sticks in the air and proclaim themselves to be Malcolm. He’d never seen one say, “I’m Brighton the Wise!” He knew he never would. After all, he was wise. He knew lots of things.’

 …part 2.

❝ Prague Race ∷ by Leppu.

comic. Prague Race is a comedy horror story, and it offers a softly satirical views of the fantasy genre.

❝ Sfeer Theory ∷ written by Alex “Muun” Singer, drawn by Jayd “Chira” Aït-Kaci.

slash comic. magical worldbuilding.
The basics of Sfeer Theory are this: all things have a sfeer and in this sfeer all is subject to their will.

❝ Witchy ∷ by Ariel Ries.

The witch kingdom Hyalin is Nyneve’s home, but she hides her long hair so the Witch Guard, ‘who enforce the law in peacetime and protect the land during war’, don’t subject her to a witch burning for being judged dangerous.

«science fiction»

❝ Mare Internum ∷ by Der-shing Helmer.

comic. tw: depression. tw: attempted suicide and suicidal thoughts. an online science fiction graphic novel about the isolated inhabitants of the planet Mars.


❝ Best Friends Forever ∷ by Mickey Quinn.

slash comic.
A newly-popular dirt-poor quarterback and the nerd-chic billionaire president of the student council try to hold their unlikely friendship together throughout their senior year of high school - despite the suspicions & meddling of their nosy (and often frustrating) schoolmates.’

❝ Fishbones ∷ written by Jisuk Cho, drawn by Yuki S.

Fishbones starts in the year 1999 in the fictional, east coast city of Southport. The story is about growing up, friendship, and sometimes the mob.

Fishbones novel.