travel size feelings stick

new girl sentence starters

feel free to change any pronouns or alter the quotes to suit your muse’s dialogue.

  • “Okay, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.”
  • “So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.”
  • “Believe it or not, that’s not the first time someone’s broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.” 
  • “Yeah, I mean he seemed like a really nice…European DJ with a face tattoo.”
  • “’Eye of the Tiger’ ended the cold war.”
  • “That’s not even a little bit true.”
  • “Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere.” 
  • “Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it’s just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.”
  • “It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere.” 
  • “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.”
  • “Pine has no place in this loft! It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses!” 
  • “I want to kill you, because I respect you.”
  • “Put on some pants or at least some really high socks.”
  • “You like me? You like my personality?” 
  • “Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.”
  • “Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.”
  • “I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” 
  • [ sarcastically ] “No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage.”
  • “You care about burritos more than my children?”
  • “I don’t celebrate Christmas, okay? Or as I like to call it,White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.”
  • “______ said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.”
  • “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!”
  • “Where are your nipples, man?”
  • “I wish I knew what was going on in his head. He’s like a…grumpy mystery.”
  • “There are plenty of things to be down about: The deficit, air pollution in China, The Hobbit wasn’t very good…”
  • “I didn’t really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.”
  • “Burn them! Burn them all!”
  • “I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out _________’s phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.”
  • “We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.”
  • “When you’ve had sexual congress with someone and you’ve peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment–”
  • “No no, let’s hear him out.” 
  • “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.”
  • “After we saw the movie “Titanic,” he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.”
  • “My boyfriend doesn’t believe in banks.”
  • “I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, “Put on pants.””
  • “She’s on a flip phone. I mean, she’s either poor or a time traveler.”
  • “Guys, we’ve gone soft! With our antibiotics and our sports creams!”
  • “Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?”
  • “I’m gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, ‘Ew, why did you say moist? I hate that word.’ And then I’m gonna be like, ‘Taste the cake.’ And they’re gonna be like, ‘Damn, it’s moist!’”
  • “I never thought I’d say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.”
  • “There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson — I lost a bet.”
  • “____ calls birds “wind-mice.” He says “yahtzee” when he climaxes. He calls turtles “shell-beavers.””
  • “I’m not ready. That’s like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!”
  • “If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!”
  • “Sponges make me feel exhilarated.”
  • “I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!”
  • “I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.” 
  • “Be gay. Be gay. Be gay.”
  • “I’m going to name the baby “Baby” because it’s funny.”
  • “I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.”
  • “You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.”
  • “Look! It’s a baby bird! Oh, it’s a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional.”
  • “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.”
  • “If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?”
  • “OK, yes, she’s a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.”
  • “I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.”
  • “Yeah, I’d trust Beyoncé with my life.”
  • “Of course we make decisions. How do you think I’m wearing clothes right now?”