traumatic!!!!

the other day i was angry because i found out my ex (the person i loved for 5 years who ended up treating me like shiiiiiit) got engaged and it made me angry that a person can be cruel and walk away. they can be cruel and then be happy like that. while the person they hurt has to work thru it and live with it and relearn love. relearn that it does not always damage. and i was just angry that i had allowed him to make me fear love. to traumatize me the ways that he did, the ways he’ll never understand or care to. and then my love came over and the minute i saw him i forgot about it. i forgot my pain. i always forget my pain when i’m near him. no matter where the pain is coming from, no matter how deep the root goes in me, i forget it. that is something. 

Mute Part 11

Part 10

Genre: Angst
Words: 1,812
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Rape mentions (pls don’t read if this will trigger anything & also i’m here to listen if anyone needs to talk)
Summary: Bucky doesn’t know what to do when traumatizing events result in your witty remarks dying down to nothing.


When you woke in the morning, your eyes were heavy with dried tears. Exhaustion wore down on your bones from stress and tequila, and you wanted nothing more than to curl back into the warmth beneath you. That was, at least, until you realized that warmth was Bucky’s hard chest.

You didn’t know when he had gotten there, only vaguely remembering your nightmare with Steve last night, but from the look of dark coloring underneath his eyes, he had been up most of the night, too. It hurt your heart to know that he was in pain because of you, and this was exactly the point you were trying to make just the day before. He obviously didn’t listen.

You loved this stubborn man.

Keep reading

So. Nasty stuff aside: the thing that’s been uniting all these different character arcs is fathers.  

  • First we had Furuta and Matsuri. Furuta obviously is so bitter about his dad that he murdered him. Matsuri is struggling because Furuta reminds him of his own dad. 
  • Then there’s Urie lashing out because he felt like his father abandoned him, while struggling to take Sasaki’s place in mentoring the new Qs.
  • Donato’s tormenting Urie, but he’s upset about the loss of his orphanage and his favorite son Amon. 
  • The laboratory group have been grouped together like siblings because of Kanou’s surgery; Kurona in particular viewed him as a father figure, but Kaneki, Seidou, and Amon are also like his children. 
  • We had the moment between Suzuya and Shinohara-Uta. 
  • As others have pointed out, Mutsuki is latching on to Haise’s parental role because of his traumatic past with his father. 

In addition to that, there’s a lot of mentor / student relationships overlapping with the father / son relationships: Mutsuki and Haise, Mutsuki and Suzuya, Amon and Seidou, Urie and Higemaru, Urie and Haise, etc. 

I could probably write a longer meta detailing all the ways these characters and relationships contrast one another, but I’m short on time, so I’ll just leave a few bits of speculation for the upcoming chapters: 

  • That Ayato and Arata arc from Root A would fit in very well with the trajectory of this arc, so I’d actually be surprised if it wasn’t included in Kaneki and Ayato’s escape from the laboratory. 
  • I’ve seen a few posts and had a few conversations speculating about Donato and Uta possibly being related, most likely as father and son. I think their abilities — Uta being able to change his face at body shape, Donato being able to craft an entirely new clone of himself using his kagune — have a certain similarity, not to mention the way that they’re toying with their Qs opponents. It could be a just clown thing, but I can see it possibly hinting at a stronger connection as well. 

anonymous asked:

I love you, Mama! You brought a smile to my face. It's so needed especially today. *HUGS* - Hanging On Anon (by a thread)

:-) Then my work here is done.  Seriously though?  I’m sitting back and watching this unfold. It’s too contrived right from day one to be believable to anyone who’s been paying attention.  I feel very sad for Sam right now, and Cait by extension, and MM a bit too, and  I feel bad for the shippers who are having second thoughts about their con tickets.  It’s not traumatic in my mind, or disastrous, or a deal breaker, or a ship sinker.  It’s just sad.

anonymous asked:

Is it bad that I'm afraid I might be a lesbian because of the abuse that my dad did to me? Because I literally panic every time a man touches me and it's really bad and now I'm afraid that I'm not a real lesbian because it was trauma??????

Heyo anon.

Its not bad, its quite normal to feel afraid. 

traumatic experiences, as well as your reaction to them, is a completely valid reason to be a lesbian. You’re not any less of a lesbian because of the hardship you’ve faced.

best of luck to you,

- Mod Amara

anonymous asked:

did chara see any of these children die while they were alive? what made them so special to be spared by the royal family?

Chara, as the first human to be sent up, was sent initially to assassinate the King, given only a pair of scissors as weapons to do so, as to not look suspicious. When they tried to attack Asgore, Asriel stepped in the way. He saw something in Chara that no other monster could see. He knew Chara did not wish to hurt anyone at this point. Asriel refused to let either sides attack one another and trusted that Chara would not harm him.
Chara has witnessed the death of other humans, however, due to their disdain to them after the traumatizing events of their childhood, they don’t seem to feel bad for them in the slightest. The other humans came with nothing but aggression trying to attack and kill any monster that stood in their way.

anonymous asked:

just had a glimpse into an alternate timeline where spidermom was killed and vriska was raised by arthour and instead of being severely traumatized shes really buff and arrogant and did I mention buff i mean vriska has an 8 pack. she is shredded. Her flarp character is like some furry abomination and she rps with Terezi and Nepeta regularly

does she have a sibling relationship with equius in this au bc im here for THAT

Some FFXV thoughts:

the other day I heard someone describe Noctis as ‘bland’ and it really got me thinking, not just about how much I love his character but about why I love him–like, Prompto’s my all time fave but I love all the chocobros so much, and there’s something about Noct and the way he’s written that I find really intriguing? and I think I finally put my finger on what it is.

it’s really rare to see characters (especially in video games and especially protagonists) who start off the game in a state of resignation, but that is exactly Noct’s emotional state when you meet him. he’s not particularly traumatized–at least, not in the usual way video game characters are, with some kind of large loss or grand dramatic tragedy that befalls them right after the opening credits. we spend a lot of time with Noctis before the fall of Insomnia, we see how he reacts to his father and to the burdens of being the prince, and in the Brotherhood anime we see it in even more (I’m thinking of the episode with Ignis specifically, although it’s kind of a running theme in the whole webseries.)

and the interesting thing is that Noct isn’t rebellious and angry and resentful about the responsibilities that he was born into. we don’t see him having an argument with Regis about how he doesn’t want to marry Luna, or become King, or how he just wants to run off and be a dentist or whatever. most modern stories of ‘prince reclaims throne/becomes king’ start with the prince bemoaning his lost freedom and running away from his fate. it would’ve been very easy to play into cliche and have Noct be that character who runs from responsibility and learns to accept it at the end, but they didn’t. Instead, his character arc is less about him learning to accept the inevitability of his fate and more about his capability to rise to the challenge.

Noct is afraid to become king because he doesn’t want to watch his father die and then be consumed by the same unbearable weight, and perhaps because he fears that he won’t be able to protect what he is meant to. Noct mourns his freedom but he doesn’t take it out on his friends or family or country the way so many other protagonists do. no matter how angry he gets he recognizes that it isn’t anyone’s fault that things are the way they are, and that’s just… such a surprisingly mature angle to take for a character who seems so immature in other ways. and I think it’s that dichotomy, between Noct as a bratty teenager who hates vegetables and tells dumb jokes, and Noctis as a solemn young prince trying to work up the courage to do what must be done, that I find so fascinating.

2

Do you want this?
Let’s face it, the fandom has been a bit traumatic lately what with one thing and another and I feel like spreading some happy. Since it seems like this is pretty popular, I will give it away. You can then be judged by Scully for all eternity. The second pic is just so you can see the size - it is drawn on to A4 parchment paper and is a mix of pastel and oil pencils. Just comment if you want it and I will do a random number generator thingy tomorrow night 11pm GMT? I will then mail it out to wherever in the world you live. Feel free to reblog. I don’t mind if you don’t follow me but would still like to have it.

anonymous asked:

Lolli, are you okay? I mean you're chest.. It has a extra slash.. I just want to make sure you're okay.

“Hmm depends. I was struck down with a cleaver from a psychotic look-a-like. But that was a while ago so… eh.” He shrugged like it wasn’t really a traumatic inducing experience, playing it off like it was usual for him to get struck along the chest… well, you are talking to a Sans after all…

scorpiocious  asked:

i see stuff going on about moral swap so what if railroad x6 is super emotional to the point of being a lil dramatic bc hes so worried about helping literally everyone with the railroad. also, what about Deacon being in the BoS? this opposite Deacon is has lots of voluminous hair that he'd never ever try to change. and maybe Cait was so traumatized by her childhood shes a complete pacifist n she doesnt like swearing bc it brings back bad memories iDK AAH

x6 could work off lots of “hunches” he has about things, uses his gut feeling and emotions to predict things that happen around him, where synths are, who to trust etc

deacon would def fill the role of “upstanding citizen” that danse once filled in the BOS. trusting, open, loyal, all that jazz

and cait certainly would be more pacifistic, maybe more of a talk first, get violent later kind of gal depending on how she handles things

It really makes me sick how many people I know who have been sexually assaulted. My mom, my sister, my best friend.

How is it so that so many girls know the pain of having such a traumatic experience. 

How many more women do I know who have to carry that burden? Too fucking many.

anonymous asked:

Can someone be abused and not feel abused? Growing up, my father beat me and my siblings a lot, because we were very naughty kids. I never held it against him though and we always got along really well and we still do. I have a lot of respect for the man and I love him. But my friend who is a psychologist insists on saying that what he did was abusive and that it affects me, even thought I don't think it does. And I am just extremely confused?? How can I be traumatized and not feel it?

Hitting your child is abusive, no matter why you did it or whether you intended it to be abuse, because it’s just not acceptable to inflict pain on someone smaller than you and dependent on you. It was wrong of your father to beat you, but it sounds to me like he probably did it not with the intention to hurt you but because that was how he was taught to discipline children. So I think that the act of beating you was abusive, but that doesn’t mean that your father is an abuser, if that makes sense.

It’s totally fine for you to love and respect your father and to have a good relationship with him, but I think it would probably be healthiest for you to acknowledge that it was wrong for him to hit you, even if he didn’t do it knowing that it was wrong. Obviously it was normal for a long time to discipline your kids by hitting them, but ‘normal’ isn’t the same as ‘totally fine and healthy’, and studies have shown that spanking causes negative effects very similar to outright child abuse. 

But that doesn’t mean that every single child is severely traumatized by spanking or hitting, and if you don’t feel like you were traumatized, then that’s great. It’s possible that you have trauma you haven’t been able to really identify yet, but you might just not be as sensitive as some others. Which doesn’t make you better or worse than others who were traumatized, just different. 

Only you are the expert on your own feelings and experiences, so even if your psychologist is an expert on child abuse, they don’t get to dictate to you what you feel about your father. It might be worth thinking about, if perhaps other things he did were unhealthy or negatively affected you, but that’s your business and no one else’s. It’s okay if you end up realizing that you do have some trauma, and it’s okay if you never do. Only you know what you feel, and whatever you feel is okay.

vardasvapors  asked:

skljdfhksdjhfjs um, your favorite Narnia book

DIDN’T WE AGREE THAT I COULDN’T PICK A FAVORITE.

one sec i’m going to insult my top five

horse and horse’s boy: 1) hilariously racist garbage 2) underutilized susan in what should have been her funniest mvp cameo to date 3) i was like, super traumatized by the shasta-cor name change, i could not get the hang of thinking of him as cor 4) i feel like i have some issue with aslan’s appearances in this one but i forget what. it’s so micromanagey. like when the contestants get pulled aside for interviews on a reality tv show. 5) why didn’t aravis and lasaraleen cement a terrifying calormen/archenland alliance?

chair that is silver: 1) eustace could embarrass himself MORE 2) i vaguely remember the pre-underground kingdom parts of the quest as dragging 3) let caspian’s corpse alone, omg

caspian boy: basically only worthwhile for the survival adventure portions in cair paravel and the flashback to caspian running away from home and the weird chapter where the pevensies like, WALK IN on someone’s basement dnd club trying to raise jadis from the dead. admittedly that’s about 2/3rds of it but i don’t remember the last third at all so it must have been dreadful.

voyage of dawn treadn’t: i hate the duffers

last fight: … look, honestly, i love the magician’s nephew, i just didn’t OWN the magician’s nephew and so only got to read it a couple of times at the library and have a relatively hazy impression of polly just, dunking doug (doug? that was probably his name right? professor doug?) into the pool-portal over and over, and every time his head went underwater we get like, a snap of the chill dystopic universe he’s seeing, and then it’s back to polly having the TIME of her LIFE. the last battle, on the other hand, i had a copy of, and i ate portions of that copy. anyway: not enough lingering shots of tirian tied to the tree

anonymous asked:

What do you think about Aurora kissing Faber? You think it's in character?

In that particular moment I cheered like a motherfucker because I live for angsty, toxic, “I hate you”/”Well, I hate you more!” type of chemistry, blame it on my traumatic childhood. (I mean, I obviously don’t wish real people to be trapped in an abusive romance but let’s be honest here, it’s a pretty popular trope and accordingly, media’s constantly trying to glorify it, you’re gonna see it anyway like what can you do, ban the entire concept of television?)

But that scene wasn’t like that at all. And once I had my tits calm about it, I could move on and get to the bottom of analyzing the shit out of it.

I know some people have freaked out about it but I don’t think it was OOC of Aurora to do that. And I don’t think it’s blowing holes in either (Sabine/Franz, Aurora/Alfred) ship. You know what is? Actual bullets. Because it’s fuckin’ WWII, now THAT can blow holes in your faves.

It wasn’t a hyper-sexual moment. It had little - if any, but LBR they’re both hot as fuck though - to do with attraction. I’m the first person who gets mad at the people justifying adultery with “It meant nothing” but ironically enough, it’s the case here.

Not that the scene didn’t mean anything, I do believe it was a very very important moment. It’s just that I don’t think we should take the kiss and blow it out of proportion. It’s not like there’s any love between them. Hardly some understanding, and even that stems from their hardcore case of self-loathing.

So, basically, I’m just happy that Eve and Torben finally made out on my screen, because I’m a fucking creep like that. [insert longest yeah boy ever]

anonymous asked:

you didn't contradict what that person said on why they don't ship bonkai. yes kai might have feelings for bonnie but it has always been evident that bonnie hates him. you wanna talk about an abusive relationship with delena which i agree but so is bonkai. he literally traumatized her and left her in a prison world where she almost committed suicide. if they ever went that route i would've been devastated

Okay slow your roll. What I said is that I really enjoy Bonnie/Kai interactions regardless of if they are romantic context or not- they just have a fantastic dynamic together.

I also said if they had CONTINUED with Kais redemption arc, which I would have liked to see last for longer than it did, they may have been able to go the romantic route and changed Bonnie’s feelings towards him.

But they didn’t. They kept her hating him and had her trap him in a prison world and ripped away any humanity he was gaining and any possibility for a redemption and that’s fine. And after that happened I never EVER would think they’d happen romantically but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy their scenes together more than any other two characters.

So I don’t know where you’re coming from. In fact, I even specially said in an Ask that Bonnie obviously deserves better than Kai.

Sooooo….. WYD?

anonymous asked:

Kyle's s/o that protected him from his mom literally finding out she's a witch after his accident because it was so traumatic to them it triggered their powers and when they get to the academy (it's been a while please forgive me for inaccuracies) there is hell to pay and Maddison and Zoe get the shit beat out of them because 1 wtf you brought him back to life BUT WITH OTHER PEOPLES BODY PARTS YOU SICK FUCKS and 2 YOU'BE BEEN USING MY BOYFRIEND FOR SEX YOU SICK FUCKS they then proceed to take

Kyle to another room and calmly talk to him to see what he remembers and they cuddle his and love him so much

i’m fucking crying 

protect kyle forever