<b><p></b> <b>Jake:</b> <p/><b></b> Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?<p/><b>Rich:</b> <p/><b></b> Can I say something even crazier? My boyfriends are in the auditorium<p/><b>Jeremy: <p/><b></b> *waving*<p/><b>Michael: <p/><b></b> *Recharges Barrett M82А1*<p/><b>Jake:</b> </b> <p/><b></b> Oh<p/></p><p/></p>
Now will you take your garbage out to the dumpster, DAWGS?
first apartment was in the huge complex of townhouse-styled buildings:
my doorway faced another apartment doorway, outside (i.e. there was no
inside common hallway like in a hotel). We shared a common sidewalk that
led up to our doors. I meet Dawg 1 and Dawg 2 the first day there. They
were socal surfer brodawgs who called everyone “dawg”, frequently. It
became apparent that these two had the social skills of illiterate 5
year olds. They would throw parties on weeknights, late into the night,
blasting music, with the front door open (my bedroom window was right
over my doorway). I would dutifully put on underwear and ask them to
close the door and lower the music, and they would cheerfully say “sure,
dawg.” Eventually I just went over naked to get compliance.
Our apartment complex was apparently built on a massive anthill. I
had sealed off the holes in my apartment to keep the things out, kept
the place spotless, trash was always sealed off and taken out, etc, and
kept the place ant-free. You can guess what the dawgs apartment looked
like. So to keep THEIR ants out, they would just put the trash outside
their door. Not take it to the dumpster, just leave it outside for days
on end until they decided to stop being lazy. Of course, millions of
ants would get into the bags and then where did they go? MY APARTMENT,
but of course! I would ask them to take the trash to the dumpster,
they’d say “no problem, dawg!” but forget to do it. I’d ask again, “oh,
sorry dawg!” etc.
Finally one morning I reached my last straw. Knowing that these two
dicks were sleeping after yet another party, I proceeded to rip open ALL
of their garbage bags before I headed to work. These things had set out
festering in the socal sun for a week. They were fucking rancid. I
spread the trash EVERYWHERE. I covered the entire entrance and made it
so that the dawgs couldn’t step over it, nor jump over it. When I came
home I would just blame the racoon or skunk that we sometimes saw
Came home that day, the walkway is spotless. The guys had just
finished sweeping it all up and were actually scrubbing the sidewalk
with cleaner and a mop. I was surprised to see they actually had these
products, but no, it turns out they stole them from work.
“Dawg, you won’t believe it! A racoon got into our trash and went crazy,
this place was shithoused! We’re not leaving our trash out anymore!”
Prompt where dan always has bottle pop candies and lollipops every day and teacher phil had the hots for him but loses it after Dan accidentally calls him teacher phil daddy then idk smut ensues
i like the idea of dan having a crush on his english teacher mr. lester and dan seducing phil into fucking him on his desk during free period? btw your account is so fucking amazing.
i changed phil’s age cause idk i wanted him to be younger
warnings : daddy kink, degrading, sex obviously, and uh,, dan’s technically underage (but only by a month)
Phil felt like hitting his head against a fucking wall.
He wasn’t just frustrated; he was humiliated. And it wasn’t supposed to be easy to humiliate Phil Lester.
Phil glanced up, his eyes automatically going to the back of the classroom, where Dan was sitting. The boy was already looking at him, and their eyes met. Dan was smirking like he knew something Phil didn’t, and he winked.
Don’t get him wrong: Phil wasn’t partial to having huge crushes on his students. He was a good teacher, he was one of those fossils that had been working at the school for years, and they had kept him around. Not to say that he was an actual fossil, either, he was only twenty eight. Which did not excuse his feelings, in his mind.
It had started at the beginning of that year, when he had met his new classes. Everything was normal, until fifth period.
And that boy just waltzed into his classroom, not having a single care in the world.
Phil remembered it specifically. He had been wearing a bubble gum pink sweater and a white tie, and a matching skirt. The skirt cut off mid thigh, showing off much more than should be allowed (in Phil’s opinion, anyways). His hair had been curly and a bit messy, falling in his chocolate eyes.
Phil remembered his first thought being that there was no way he passed the front office dressed like that. His second thought was that this boy was beautiful, and not in a delicate little baby way. Phil thought he was beautiful in an adult way; in the way that made Phil want to take him on dates to expensive restaurants and kiss him under a sky full of stars.
That was, of course, until Dan opened his mouth.
The first thing he did was walk straight up to Phil’s desk, hips swaying slightly as he walked, and lean against it. He had looked Phil up and down, much more like he was a potential fuck than a teacher, and smacked his gum.
“You’re young,” was the first thing he said, his voice lilting and just the slightest bit bratty.
Phil cleared his throat, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “I’m sorry?”
“Yeah.” Dan tilted his head at him. “You’re young for a teacher.”
Phil had frowned at him, not in a mean way, more like a question.
“I guess so. Is that an issue?”
Dan had given him that grin, that evil smirk that he had grown to loathe, and shrugged. “Not at all, sir.”
Phil hadn’t liked the way he had said that, like it meant much more than it should have. And if he had known, he would have kicked that boy in the pink skirt with beautiful eyes right out of his classroom.
Ever since that point, things had only gotten worse. Phil discovered that Dan was a brat, a whiny, rich brat who always got his way. He always got what he wanted, and unfortunately, what he wanted was Phil.
Phil came to hate fifth period, because it meant he had to see those eyes again. And those lips, wrapped around a new candy. The second day of school, Dan had showed up with a pink lollypop stuck between his teeth. And Phil swore, it was like he hadn’t taken it out since.
At first, Phil had protested.
“I don’t know what other teachers have been saying,” he had said quietly, resting his hands on either side of Dan’s desk. “But you’re not allowed to have candy in here.”
Dan had just raised an eyebrow, twirling his lollypop in his mouth and making a loud sucking noise.
“But I want to,” he finally said, keeping the eye contact. He uncrossed his legs, (now Phil was sure, deliberately) spreading them apart.
Phil had sighed.
“Well, in the real world, you don’t always get what you want.”
Dan had pouted, sticking out his bottom lip.
“Sucks for you.”
“Excuse me?” Phil had raised his eyebrows, practicing his authority. Dan had just giggled, ignoring him completely and instead rubbing his calf against Phil’s thigh.
And over the next few months, Phil had been slipping more and more. He used to at least send Dan to the office, or write him up, but everyone seemed to love him. The principal himself had told him that whenever he saw him, Dan seemed like a lovely young man. And for a while, Phil couldn’t put his finger on why Dan only acted up in his class.
That was until Dan’s boyfriend picked him up from class.
He was almost taller than Phil, and he looked just about old enough to be in college (which made Phil self conscious, although he would never admit it). He wore biker clothing, the kind of stuff you put on to go to a street fight, and he had a tough yet attractive face.
The first thing the guy did when he got there was pick Dan up, setting him down on Phil’s desk and fitting himself between his thighs.
“Dan, get off my desk,” Phil had said in a monotone, not even looking up from his paperwork.
Dan giggled, and Phil looked up only when he heard a sucking noise. The guy was sucking a fucking hickey on the side of Dan’s neck.
Phil shook his head, standing up. “Get out of my classroom, Howell. I know for a fact you have History soon. Get moving.”
Dan turned to his boyfriend, smiling innocently but still not getting off of Phil’s desk. “You heard him, Bradley. Get out.”
“Meet me in the hall,” he said, his voice low, and glared at Phil.
Once he was gone, Dan hopped off of his desk.
“Wish he was you,” he whispered bluntly, and then sauntered away. Phil watched him carefully, seeing him take his lollypop out and toss it in the trash by the door.
That night, Phil had gotten hardly any sleep. Wish he was you. Phil pondered the fact Dan had thrown away his lollypop the second he was out of the classroom, even though there was plenty candy left. He realized he had seen Dan opening one when he sat down, and throwing it away when he left.
Then it hit him. Dan was teasing him. Testing him, seeing how far he could push him before he snapped.
Phil fell asleep going over all the reasons he couldn’t just bend Dan over his desk and fuck him until he cried.
And it didn’t stop there. It seemed like every day that Phil ignored him, denied him, Dan pushed harder. He would wear the shortest skirts he could find, and then pretend to drop something. He would rub against him, he would breathe down his neck while asking for help. It was all getting to be too much, Phil was cracking at the edges. He kept forgetting not to cuss, forgetting to hide the dark circles under his eyes, and Dan noticed.
But now Dan had crossed the damn line.
The class was taking a test, their English finals, and Phil couldn’t be happier to be getting Dan out of his class before he broke. But Dan had come prepared.
He was wearing a lacy black skirt and a red t-shirt, one that might be slightly see through. And he was currently sitting in the back of the classroom, touching himself.
He wasn’t full on jerking himself off, but Phil could see his hand under the desk, palming himself through what looked like panties. His thighs would tremble every now and then, and he would bite his lip, or let out a quiet whimper.
No one else seemed to notice, too focused on their tests, but just the thought that someone could turn around any second and see what Dan was doing was making Phil sweat.
He had to make this stop, or he was going to have a raging hard on, and then he didn’t think he would be able to stop from taking Dan right then and there.
He slowly made his way back to Dan, his heart pounding like hell in his chest. He leaned over his desk, pleading his eyes not to wander.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He hissed, quiet enough that no one but Dan could hear, completely giving up on having any respect.
“Nothing, sir,” Dan whispered back, choking out a quiet moan. Phil had to stop himself from covering his mouth with his hand.
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” he growled, glaring at him. “Stop it right now, or I’ll make sure you get summer school.”
Dan raised an eyebrow. “Summer school? With you? Doesn’t sound too bad to me.”
Phil was at a loss. What in the world would make this boy shut the fuck up?
Dan moaned again, his voice breathy and desperate.
“Fuck, daddy,” he blurted, his breath hitching.
Phil stopped in his tracks, cursing under his breath.
“Stay after class,” he hissed. “You’re getting what you fucking wanted.”
Phil spun around, walking back to his desk before he could get any more aroused, and so that he wouldn’t see Dan’s smug grin.
The rest of the class seemed to last for years, but Dan stopped touching himself, which let Phil calm down a little. When the bell finally rang, Phil was ruined. He was sweating, and he was still hard.
“Okay, class dismissed,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “See you all tomorrow.”
He caught Dan’s eyes, and the boy crossed his arms, staying where he was seated.
As soon as the last student left and the door closed, Phil was standing.
He was silent for a moment, the atmosphere tense, and Phil could practically feel the sexual frustration radiating off himself like an aura.
“Come here,” he said finally, his voice low and firm. He was done playing Dan’s little games.
Dan stood up, walking towards him and stopping at the desk. Phil glared at him.
“Do you have a sixth period?”
Dan shook his head, smiling slightly.
“Good.” The only reason Phil thought he could get away with this was because he didn’t have a class for another two periods.
He moved towards Dan before grabbing him by the hair in a sudden aggressive motion. Dan squeaked, but let Phil push him against the desk without resisting.
Phil pushed his face against the surface, so his cheek was pressed against the wood.
“You’re such a fucking slut,” he growled, letting his crotch rub up against Dan’s ass. He whined, but shut up quick when Phil pinched his side. “But you know that, don’t you?”
“Yes sir,” Dan got out, breathing heavily. “Please, sir.”
“Please what, whore?” Phil tugged at his hair, pinning his wrists behind his back.
“Please fuck me, daddy, need it, need your cock-” Phil cut him off by covering his mouth, turning him around and setting him on the desk.
“I know,” he muttered, brushing his lips over Dan’s neck and feeling him shiver. “That’s what you’ve wanted this whole time, isn’t it? Say it.”
Dan whined, squirming under Phil’s touch. “Y-Yes, sir. This whole time, what I wanted, wanted your cock. Wanted your big cock inside me…”
Phil hummed against his throat, sucking a hickey just below his collarbone. He didn’t care, he didn’t want to think about consequences, he wanted Dan so fucking bad.
He ran his hands under Dan’s shirt, over his stomach and up to his chest. He pinched one of his nipples, savoring Dan’s gasp.
“Say it again, slut,” he breathed, nipping at Dan’s ear.
“Fuck.” Dan cursed, wrapping his legs around Phil’s waist, anything to get as close as possible. “Need you, sir, need your cock inside me, please, so deep… fuck me so hard I c-can’t walk, make me forget my own name.” He gripped Phil’s shirt with both hands, as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. “Please, Phil.”
Just those words were enough to get Phil ripping his shirt off, tossing it aside and unbuttoning his own. Dan whined needily, tugging at Phil’s zipper.
Phil pushed his hand away, tutting and going back to kissing his neck, working on Dan’s skirt instead. He pulled it down the boys’s thighs, letting his fingertips brush in a teasing manner before digging his nails in. Dan yelped, clinging to his torso.
Phil decided to stop teasing, he had waited long enough, and instead moved Dan so he was bent over the desk again, his ass in the air. Phil tugged at his panties, letting them fall carelessly to the floor.
“You have such a pretty ass, baby boy.” Phil let his hands glide over Dan’s skin, hearing Dan’s breath catch.
“Phil, please. Get on with it.”
Phil grunted, sucking on his own fingers. “Since you asked nicely.”
Without warning he pushed a finger into him, and Dan whimpered. After a moment he pushed back against the digit, wiggling his ass needily.
Phil added another finger and scissored, and before he knew it, he was adding a third. Dan seemed already completely wrecked, Phil had to hold him down to keep him from squirming.
“Please daddy,” he moaned, practically falling apart under him. “Fuck me.”
Phil didn’t answer, simply spit on his hand, stroking his cock to cover it, and then lined up with Dan’s pretty little hole. He gripped the boy’s shoulder with one hand, the other resting on his lower back.
“Ready?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
He pushed in almost to the hilt right away, and Dan cried out. Phil chuckled, pulling out a bit and giving Dan a moment to adjust before pushing in again.
“Feel good, baby?” Phil asked, his voice low and rough. Dan let out a high pitched moan in response, nodding frantically.
“Yes! God, daddy, more…!”
“More?” Phil shifted, repositioning to get a better angle. “You sure, angel?”
Phil grunted, thrusting hard, and he could almost feel the table shake beneath them.
He pulled out despite Dan’s noises of protest, moving him so he was facing him, wrapping Dan’s legs around his waist again. He pushed back in, feeling Dan’s thighs tremble as he started fucking him at a faster and harder pace.
Dan whimpered, burying his face in Phil’s neck, muffling his noises.
“Fuck.” Phil dragged his nails down Dan’s side, groaning close to Dan’s ear. “Such a slut baby, such a good boy for me, doing so fucking well.”
“Daddy,” Dan breathed, his breath hitting Phil’s neck. “Gonna cum…”
“Yeah?” Phil grinned, adjusting his angle to hit all of Dan’s good spots. “Go ahead. Cum for me, honey.”
He pounded into him even faster, and Dan squeaked. He let out a loud high-pitched moan, before letting go and coming over his and Phil’s stomach.
Phil groaned, pulling out and giving his cock a few pulls before coming and adding to the mess.
For a moment, the only sound in the room was heavy breathing. Dan fell back against the desk, his head lolling against the surface, his eyes closed. Phil thought he might be dead for a moment before he spoke.
“Worth it,” he said softly, practically a whisper.
Phil shook his head, but couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Shut up,” he muttered, taking some tissues from his desk and cleaning both of them off.
It took him a while to get Dan motivated enough to dress himself, and when he was dressed, he wouldn’t move from Phil’s desk for a whole ten minutes.
“So,” he started when Phil finally got him to stand on his own.
“That was fun,” Dan said softly, letting his gaze fall to his feet. Now that he seemed to have gotten rid of the sexual tension, Dan was being a lot nicer, and a lot less bratty.
Instead of saying anything, Phil leaned over, kissing Dan deeply. Dan started to stumble back in surprise, but Phil caught him with a firm hand on his waist.
When they parted, Dan was glowing more than he was before.
“So,” he repeated, looking a lot more confident. He flashed Phil his notorious smirk. “Summer school, huh?”
Shades Alvarez holding “Push Only” doors for Mariah Dillard / 1.09 / 1.12 Do you know the effort involved in holding a “push only” door for somebody? It’s not like saying graciously, “after you” to let someone enter a room first. No, it’s more like you’re going, “Milady!” while simultaneously not looking awkward leaning so far forward, knowing full well you better open that door wide enough to let the queen enter, and staying as flushed to the side as possible so you don’t brush up against her without her permission.
And for Shades, it’s kind of like a classy modern equivalent of laying a jacket over a puddle.
Frederick: Alright team, we’re going to go in and…Niles please. Leave Donnel alone. Niles: -staring at Frederick- Very well. Haha. Yours until I break master. -still hovering around Donnel- Donnel: -raises hand- Uh, Frederick…I feel mighty uncomfortable. Frederick: Niles! Remove yourself from Donnel’s vicinity! -moves him beside Laslow- THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER. WE ARE HEADING INTO BATTLE NILES! Laslow: Haha, but Frederick. Laughter is the best medicine. Hahaha. Donnel: …Ya sure this group is gonna be a good idea Frederick? Frederick: Donnel…this group was the best I COULD WORK WITH ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE! Niles: -hovering behind Donnel- Let’s take a stroll Donnel~ Donnel: -hiding under Frederick’s horse- Laslow: -flat on the ground laughing- M-My Niles…what a strong gaze. Frederick: … Summoner: …Frederick…I’ll try harder I promise! Just wait on the sidelines and I’ll find the perfect candidates for you! Frederick: … Donnel: Frederick! Git him off Laslow!!!! Laslow: Oh my!!! This isn’t how it was supposed to go Niles! Odin! Get him away! Odin: I’m not on this team, but I’m sure it’ll be a FUN EXPERIENCE! Summoner: Niles! NO!!!! Niles: …I don’t play by your rules master~ Summoner: …please? Niles: Well since you asked nicely…-drags Odin off- Odin: So excited!!! Donnel: Shouldn’t we… go and git ‘em? Frederick: They will be fine Donnel. =__=;; Summoner: I’M SORRY!!!! Laslow: Don’t be sorry Summoner~ <3 Summoner: … Frederick: -face palms-