trash liners

also i’m watching wynonna earp and digging it so far, it’s most of the shit i wanted from supernatural but also like. all women and also deputy marshall dolls, and also at least one definitely, blatantly, canonically queer woman in the second episode, please tell me officer haught stays and nothing bad happens to her

I hate the owner

I hate the owner of the store I work at. He shows such obvious favoritism and he’s plain creepy. He is giving our worse employee (who has actively been trying to get fired) a raise for “doing good work”(it’s because she’s hot). She’s also getting a bonus for getting a friend to apply and literally half our staff are friends of another employee and where are their bonuses????? He loves ass kissers to the point that one of the former managers was STEALING money and not clocking out to get paid more and he was still hesitant about letting her go. I forgot to clock out once and he blessed me tf out. He fired one of our BEST managers because she was old and didn’t wear makeup. He only hires ditzy snobby teenage girls who literally don’t know how to sweep, mop, do the dishes, or any easy tasks. It’s like pulling teeth to work with these girls and it stress me tf out. And he wonders why his stores are a mess and why customers complain. I almost had to take a girls phone because she would not stop being on it up front after I told her REPEATEDLY that I don’t mind her using her phone but she needs to do it in the back out of eyesight of customers (or at least be stealthy about it, she had it 5 inches from her face) Also his dress code REQUIRES us to wear Yoga pants. I worked at another store from the same chain and the dress code was “black pants, no black jeans”. And he constantly watches the cameras. It makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t wear yoga pants at that place because I think it’s unprofessional. He says it’s “unprofessional ” of us if we have any stains on our shirts but he also wants us to be quick as possible with every little thing(meaning we are more likely to spill stuff on ourself), and buys the cheapest quality shirts the stain super easy. I came out at one point with some water on my shirt and he said I need to not let that happen again. Oh sorry, I just won’t clean dishes ever again, mb. He also started having the former shift manager come in for “random inspections” in which 2 people have to have over 50 tasks all done at once in order to get a perfect score. And she also lies on the reports CONSTANTLY. But probably the funniest thing, is he doesn’t know how to do any of our jobs. He had to ask me for help with the register when he came by the other day. He doesn’t have a key, he doesn’t know the combo to the safe, the only thing he knows how to do is look on the cameras and critique us. Also, we always are out of something and he’s too cheap to buy more until next stock day. Like our SM had to buy strawberries multiple times but not if they’re too pricy. They are our best selling topping but if they were too pricy we were shit out of luck. We have been out of trash bags for 4 weeks and had to use BAG LINERS and half of the stuff that go into those trash bags are liquid. Trash liners are not made to support that much weight. I’m so done tbh between him, the dimwit employees, and the self absorbed managers, I’m about to blow a cap. I’m looking so hard for another job but I probably can’t quit til late may-early June. Please pray for me, I’m trying to get out of the food industry.

who would win in a fistfight: juno steel or sam vimes

  • both of em are short as fuck. i probably see juno as a lot heavier/stockier and vimes as a scrawny little wiry bastard
  • G!G! vimes is about juno’s age but by the end of the series he’s a good decade and change older and a smoker. however, juno has shit lungs
  • both p good at hand to hand combat, street kids from bad neighborhoods, police/former police, used to dirty fighting. their combat styles are probably similar
  • juno’s major combat strength is his sharpshooting, which doesn’t apply (and would incidentally be a terrible idea on the disc)
  • vimes’ major combat strength is the ability to kill a werewolf with his bare fucking hands.
  • vimes is a team player, whereas juno violently pushes away anyone who gets close to him and might be more prepared for a one-on-one
  • both are loser trash talking one liner champions. a draw in this area
  • Discworld Noir suggests that the personal narrative causality of a P.I. is sufficiently noir to cosmically force Vimes into the OOC stereotypical role of a police chief in a noir story: typically “harsh and useless.”
  • vimes has successfully completed a character arc in which he comes to terms with himself; juno is still a self-loathing mess, significantly affecting his morale
  • juno likes getting punched
  • conclusion: vimes is gonna kick this sad, sad lady’s ass
2

what will the petals answer to me?

Jonathan Richman - “I Eat With Gusto, Damn! You Bet”

When I eat like I do it,
I use not fork nor spoon
No grace or culture to it
When I call my own tune.

For I eat with gusto, damn you bet
A regular canine cruncher
Except truth be told I’m sloppier yet
Than many a dog food muncher
I eat a pound I eat a ton
And no there ain’t much I cuts up
And while I’m having merry fun
Bystanders puke their guts up.

The FBI sent someone by
Who handles health affairs
I had not finished my cream pie
When he chanced up the stairs
Why did he turn the other way?
Why did he leave so quick?
Will he come back another day?
Did something make him sick?

I eat with gusto damn you bet
A regular doggie diner
“No don’t bring me napkins waiter sir,
Just bring some trash can liner.”

Whilst wandering by a juice bar
I spied a tempting beverage
Since I would have been last in line
I used my fearsome leverage
For in my pocket was some food
Which I took from the wrapper
The patrons watched it being chewed
And of course headed for the crapper.

For I eat with gusto damn you bet
For gusto I’m the boss
For yay my nose it is in the salad
And lo my chin it is in the sauce
I eat with gusto damn you bet
We’re sailing around the cape
“Keel-haul him,” said the Bosun
“There must be no escape.”

One sunny day in Paris an elegant cafe
A phone call there a phone call here
And the gendarmes took me away

I said “qu'est-ce qui se passe ici”
I said “ mais qu'est-ce que c'est”
They said “Such eating it is criminal
And crime it does not pay.”

For I eat with gusto damn you bet.
My banner yay unfurled
My shirt is covered with mustard
And my hair with ketchup curled

Goodby to Egypt, Greece, and Rome
The ancient world goodbye.
May squalor be my summer home
And filth be my neck tie.

For I eat with gusto damn you bet.
Uh, And Uh, I eat with gusto damn you bet
My country tis of thee
I eat for social progress
I eat for victory

Somebody died who watched me eat
In a restaurant one spell
He woke up and saw me eating beans
And knew that he’d gone to hell

For Uh, “He eats with gusto damn we bet.”
They’re calling from the south
They want to stop my gusto
They want to close my mouth
“You eat with gusto, yeah that’s great
Now let us off this bus.”
Wait a minute I haven’t finished eating up stuff yet.
“We’ll call you, don’t call us.”

- - - - -

I woke up with Jonathan in my head this morning. 

Dedicated to my fellow eaters with gusto - @thatgumyoulikeisback, @notentirely, @soulproprietorship, and @so-called-graham.

punk fashion tips for summer 2014

1. black sprayable truck bed liner. spray all your shorts, jean jackets, etc. for a gross, thick, almost-water proof shiny black. for hardware store fashion-enthusiasts.

2. handcuffs. clip your handcuffs on your hip belt loops. for arresting cops that wanna ruin your summer fun.

3. black sleeveless turtleneck. listen to parálisis permanente and have a goth punk summer.

4. fingerless neon yellow mesh gloves. essential.

5. wear a black trash bag. chic.

“Eight years ago, I was traveling a lot with a touring theater company called Cheek by Jowl. We traveled all over the world with productions of classical plays. I would come back to London, and I had a flat. I started to feel uncomfortable in this flat. I didn’t really recognize who owned all that stuff.

On the advice of a friend of mine, whom you may know—[actress] Rebecca Hall—I got rid of all of my stuff. I took 33 bin liners (trash bags) of secondhand clothes to a charity shop. I sold all my furniture. I put my books in storage.

I decided to live out of just two suitcases for 12 months. It was the most enjoyable year of my life, because I felt free and available. That was an instructive year for me.” - Tom Hiddleston

our favorite parts are what we’ll keep

this one goes out to the gc @nuthinbutniall @niallohmighty @2012niall @foxesmouth it’s just 4k of narry shagging tbh what can u do

Harry shows up in Niall’s doorway with a mouthful of banana and the fine baby hairs around his face wisping out of his bun. “Niall,” says Harry through his mouthful of banana. 

Niall grimaces. “Could you fucking chew and swallow, mate?”  

Obediently, Harry swallows his mouthful of banana. “Niall,” he says again seriously. 

Niall stops flipping through the cable menu for a game of golf or footie or tennis. The duvet is soft and fluffy, and he has no plans of getting out of bed unless the hotel is literally on fire. 

“Did you ever think about me and you?” Harry asks, like that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say on the last leg of One Direction’s last tour before indefinite hiatus. Niall pops a cuticle into his mouth and starts chewing before he can stop himself. 

Keep reading

Zoro’s reaction to the news about Sanji’s engagement

*deadpans a brutal insult*