Do you ever sit around and think about how Captain America: The First Avenger is aptly named not because Steve Rogers was the world’s first superhero (and future leader of the Avengers Initiative team) but because one of his most memorable acts of bravery - crashing the plane to save the world - was done in the process of avenging Bucky Barnes.
yeah, i have a plan. well, it’s technically more of a scheme, i guess. and you guys have to swear not to tell…anyone with common sense, really.
i’m gonna make a Trashcan Turkey.
what is a Trashcan Turkey, you ask? let me enlighten you to possibly the most brilliant, terrible, wonderful bird-cooking method i have not yet tried. i’ve talked clint and johnny storm into helping me with this, it’s gonna be a disaster.
(this is not to be confused with the Dumpster Bird incident, where sam and clint both wound up in the same dumpster, and then hulk thew the whole thing at an evil giant crab, not knowing they were inside. but don’t worry, they were fine. eventually.)
anyway, a Trashcan Turkey is exactly what it sounds like: a turkey cooked inside a trash can. you take a long, sturdy wooden stake and drive it into the ground (or better yet, take some rebar and weld a crossbeam so the turkey can’t slide down) and then cover the stake and the surrounding ground in tin foil. if you wanna catch the turkey drippings, you can put a bundt cake pan on the ground with the stake in the center. then you mount the turkey on the stake, all seasoned however you like.
then you take a new–and that part’s key–NEW metal trash can and put it top-down over the turkey.
and then you light a bunch of charcoal on fire.
you heap the burning charcoal around the base of the trash can and put more burning charcoal on top. i’d recommend a shovel for that job, if you don’t have a fireproof metal hand or a really flammable inflammable dude to just grab them directly. thanks, johnny.
then you keep it all burning for awhile. i’ve been told that the formula is 1 hour for a 10 pound turkey, plus ten minutes per additional pound.
when the time’s up, you remove the coals and the trash can. that part can be a little dangerous, because everything’s very hot, but again: fireproof friends/hands.
you should have, at that point, a perfectly cooked Trashcan Turkey.
i’m sure why you can see why this is appealing to me. there’s fire, food, potential for disaster–it’s all the most important parts of life combined in one family holiday event.
I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 50 - Long, lonely nights
When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she’s certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit…
Chapter 50 - Long, lonely nights
[Blake and Negan, now living so far apart, realise just how much they miss one another, on those long, lonely nights…]
WARNING: This chapter contains smut/NFSW/themes of masturbation.
The days seemed to drift slowly by…
You’d have expected that with each day that passed, for Blake, things would get easier, with memories of her short time at the Sanctuary slowly drifting away.
But they didn’t.
Things of course went by as usual at Alexandria. Rick, Sasha, Michonne, Rosita, as well as others, would go out, day-to-day, try to find guns, or at least try and scavenge enough food to keep the Saviours at bay for their next offering.
But as the hours and days ticked by, Blake felt herself becoming more distant and withdrawn from the type of life she had so been used to here.
It had been strange, at first, to be back….with faces, some she recognised, some she didn’t, all whispering behind their hands about her…gossiping, speculating….mainly about David’s death…but sometimes Blake had caught sentences slip from people’s mouths…callous and uncaring…
“I don’t know….he always seemed nice to me…”
“Yeah…you don’t know…maybe she’s lying…..I mean, he seemed like a good guy…and if he did hit her, well, maybe she did something to deserve it….”
“What? Like betray us?”
“Well you never really know about some people do you…?”
This had been one example of a conversation two middle-aged women from across the street had murmured to one another, when they had thought Blake had been out of earshot.
But talk like that was common here. For what else did anyone have to gossip about these days? Although that still didn’t make it hurt any less.