Okay so I HAD been thinking about coming out as FTM to my dad, but recently he had voiced an opinion about one of the recent bathroom bills saying "if [the transgender woman] has gone all the way (hormones and surgery), then hell yeah they can use the girls bathroom, but otherwise no they shouldn't be allowed to" and I heard that as "if you haven't had surgery or T you're not good enough or valid". Is there anything I can say to get him to see that that's not true without giving myself away?
#transphobia tw #bathroom bills #surgery mention
I’m sorry you had to hear that. You are completely valid and most certainly good enough, please don’t think otherwise. If you feel safe and comfortable talking to him about it, I would tell him a few things.
•My question to him would be why he thinks someone who has had bottom surgery and /or has taken hormones is ‘allowed’ to use their appropriate restroom, but if they haven’t had those things, they’re not? Both of those things can cost a lot of money and some people can’t have those things due to medical or personal reasons. That doesn’t invalidate their identity by any means. And they should be able to use the restroom they feel most comfortable in, no matter how much they have transitioned, or if they have transitioned or not.
•There is no way to tell if someone is trans- and there’s no way to tell if that person has had any surgeries or hormones, because as I said previously, there is no way to tell if someone is trans.
•Trans people are using the restroom to, well, use the restroom, just like cis people! It’s cruel and inhumane to police and control designated restroom use. There is no way to enforce it [the bathroom bills].
•Even if a trans person did have hormones, bottom surgery, you name it- even if they were being read as cis and no one knew they’re trans, they still have a trans identity. They have experienced what cis people don’t.
There’s so many reasons why the bathroom bills are wrong and harm trans and gender non conforming people, but these are only a couple of things that came to mind. If anyone would like to share more advice, please do so! I hope this helps.